The hero looks for a home and tries to pay the rent

Saitama pov

After the whole thing with the spooky horse saitama had found a nice alley to sleep in, but he knew that he couldn’t live here forever. So he decided that worrying was for tomorrow’s self he went to sleep on his pile of boxes.
Homeless shelter guy pov

As I was making my nightly rounds he noticed a pair of red boots protruding from an alley, upon further inspection he saw it was the guy who stopped nightmare moon albeit with unorthodox means. He poked the strange creature a couple of times and he jumped to his feet ready to fight.

“Who are you?” he asked then exclaimed “I’m trying to sleep.

You were shocked but remained on your hooves. “I’m homeless shelter guy” you say “I noticed you don’t seem to have living arrangements right now so I thought you might like to stay a night or two down at the shelter, that I own hence the name” you said as you thought about how your parents cursed you to an unpaying career.

“Sure that sounds nice” he says “point the way.”

“Just follow me and we’ll be there in a few minutes.” You say.

After a few minutes you arrive at the shelter but before you open the door you turn and say “now foul creature its time I put you in your place.”

Saitama pov

We arrived at his shelter but right before he let me in he pulled knife from somewhere and jumped me, I hope he lived. I walked into the shelter and another guy was in there.

“Hey I heard this was shelter?” I said

“Sweet celestia are you ok, a strange stallion has been luring homeless ponies here and killing them right in front of my door!” he said getting out of his chair to inspect me.

“No its fine, actually he should still be outside, is there anyone you can contact like a hospital or something maybe the morgue would be better though.” I said.

“Well, let’s just leave him out there he was killing ponies anyway.” He said. “So are you looking for a room or just stopping by.” He asked.

“Sure a room would be nice are there any open?”

“Heck yeah there are, most of the time I don’t see anypony, damn welfare system is so good anypony can get back on their hooves.” He said “unless your name is homeless bum.”

That confused you somewhat but you decided to follow him towards one of the rooms. Upon entering the room he found that it had a window, bed, a fridge, a stove, and even a separate a bathroom.

“Damn” you mutter

“What’s wrong, I’ve got bigger rooms if you want?” he said

“No, this is fine.” I said “actually, would you mind if I paid rent when I can and just live here, it’s really nice.”

“I mean sure I can charge rent but are you sure this is fine for you, it doesn’t even have a separate kitchen.”

“That’s fine, it’s about the size of my apartment from home so that’s nice.” I said

“Well I’ll see you in the morning, you can start paying rent at the end of the month.”

“Cool” I said as he left and I shut the door behind him and falling onto the bed.

The next day

Still saitama

I woke up at around 8am and left my room, the guy didn’t give me a key but it’s not like I had anything to steal yet. I began walking towards what look like a market and ponies doing things. As I approached many of them ran inside of their houses others just hid behind stalls. So I went up to the closest one, a white pony with pink and green hair.

“Hey do you need any work done, or do you know where I can find some?” I asked the nervous mare.

“n-no but you could check with the ponies at sweet apple acers, they always seem to need some help” she said and point towards some kind of orchard.

“Ok thanks I’ll go do that.” I said and began a brisk walk towards the orchard, seconds later I arrived. After a few minutes of walking around the orchard I found the orange mare from last night.

“Hey I hate to be a bother but is there any work I can do?” I asked.

She jumped at first and said “oh, it’s you ah guess I can find something for you to do follow me” she said

I followed her for a while and she pointed towards some trees and said “ok so all you need to do is get all the apples in those trees into those buckets, I use my legs but you’ll probably need to do something different.”

“Ok sounds easy enough, what should I do after I get the apples down?” I asked her while looking towards the trees.”

“Just bring the apples back to the barn I’ll take care of it later.” She said and walked off.

I went up to the nearest tree and gave it a small punch. All the apples immediately fell into the baskets and.

“Well that was easy, looks like this won’t take long.” I said and punched a bunch of trees filling buckets quickly.

Applejack pov

That weird creature came and asked for work so I told him to fill up half the orchards buckets, he should get tired and leave. Soon after leaving him alone I began hearing booms from where I left him.

“Darnit what is that thing doing now?” I said and galloped back to the orchard. What I saw took my breath away, the strange creature was flashing from tree to tree hitting them and filling buckets faster than anypony could hope to fill.” I ran towards him and tried to get his attention.

“Hey what are ya doing?” I shouted to him. He stopped and jogged over to me.

“What, am I not doing my job fast enough I’m sorry?” He asked

“Too fast, TOO FAST! You just did a month’s worth of work in five minutes, now I have to re arrange the work schedule so I have something to do between now and cider season so the farm doesn’t lose money!”

“Oh, I’m sorry I’ll just go but I do kinda need rent money.” He said

“Fine! Wait here I’ll be back in five minutes!” I yelled at him.

Saitama pov

I’m not sure what I did wrong but the orange pony orange pony got mad and ran off when I asked for money. But while she was gone I moved the rest of the apples to the barn and waited another few minuet’s until shit got back.

“Here, take your bits and leave!” she threw a grocery bag sized sack of coins at me.

“Ok, bye have a nice day” I said and walked off. On my way back home I noticed some kind of flying lion thing arguing on a cloud with the rainbow Pegasus on some clouds, after a while the lion thing got violent and punched the Pegasus in the face. So I decided to intervene a little bit.

Gilda pov

“That’s what you get for hanging me out to dry you rainbow haired cu- what the hell are you?!” I looked up and saw a strange creature in a yellow suit.

“It doesn’t look like your being very nice to her, why did you hit her?” he asks with a deadpan look.

“It’s none of your business freak, now if you’ll excuse me!” I exclaimed as I drove a talon into rainbows stomach. Rainbow lurched forward and clutched to the now bleeding wound. “So why don’t you leave and let this traitor bleed out, freak.” I said and began to fly off. But something kept from flying. This ape wouldn’t let go of my tail

“I can’t let you leave, not after that.” He said “because I am a professional hero and I can’t let you harm someone else for any reason.”

“Oh yeah how are you gonna stop me!” I said and lunged at him, before I knew it I didn’t have a lower body anymore.

“You shouldn’t have done that” were the last words I heard before falling to the ground.

Rainbow pov

It hurt so bad, I can’t believe she actually stabbed you. At first you thought saitama (was that his name) was gonna leave you like he said but you soon realized that he had picked you up and was now running towards the hospital.

“Thanks” was all you could manage before passing out.

Desk worker pov

It’s not often rainbow comes in for an injury but nothing like this, heck it’s been a long time since you’ve seen anypony lose this much blood and still be alive. The creature carrying her told me about a griffon that attacked her, he told me the general direction and I sent one of my staff to the guard post to tell them about what happened and to get rid of the body. Poor thing is gonna need to go into questioning after this because of what he did.

“Hey can I leave now, or do you guys need me?” he asked. We probably wouldn’t for about a day so I got his address and told him he could leave.

Saitama pov

He didn’t want to kill the griffon (he knew what it was called now) but she lunged at him and he had no choice how was he supposed to know she couldn’t take a hit. But all is said and done so he went to go see his landlord about how much rent would be.

After a few minutes of walking I passed by the cakes where I heard someone call my name.

“Hey saitama can you come here for a second?” it was pinkie.

“Hey pinkie, thanks for the party last night.” I said

“Oh it was my pleasure but can you help the cakes and I move some on these boxes, the stallion who helps with the lifting isn’t here today.” She told me

“Does it pay?” I asked

“Yeah, I’m sure we can set you up with some money so follow me please.” She said.

I followed her into the bakery and she seemed to have gone into the basement so I followed her. Once I finally got down the tiny staircase I saw a room covered in dried red stuff and strange equipment all over. One piece looked like it was a torture device.

“So what do you need moved pinkie?” I asked

“Just this stack of boxes please” she pointed towards some large boxes. “Just bring them upstairs and take a right and put them in the room at the end of the hall.”

“Ok sounds good.” I said.

This time I decided to take the work slowly but I was still going pretty fast so I would be done really soon. After a few minutes the last crate was in the room and pinkie had paid me about twenty coins (bits I think) and I left.

Once I arrived a met with my land lord who told me rent would twenty bits a month. I told him that was fine and went to my room. After sorting out the money I found that the orange pony gave me nearly 300 bits and that I was set on cash for a while.

So I left to go buy groceries and other things to make my apartment seem like home

Book store guy pov

Well it was a good run but nobody wanted to buy these backwards comics from japony. Maybe the stories didn’t interest them or they didn’t like the format, but I didn’t lose that much money so it’s cool. I heard the door open so I made my way into front room of the shop to greet the customer only to find that strange creature looking around my shop.
I tried to be calm but It was kinda hard with a giant crouched in your store. “h- hello what can I do for you today?” I stutter.

“Yeah I was wondering if you had any comics, but they don’t read like normal comics that read from right to left and there about half an inch thick.” He said

Sweet celestia somepony finally came to buy them. “You sure bet, I was just about to send them back to japony because nopony wants them here.” I said “let me go get them.” I said and left him to do whatever.

A moment later I came back with the books and hoofed him the box. “Most of these are the first or second book in a series so you don’t accidentally read another one too far ahead.”

“How much do I owe you for these?” he asked

“How about twenty bits for all of them?” I said

“Sure that seems like a good deal, and can you order the next ones in each series I’ll probably buy them when I finish these.”

Wow he likes these books and he wants me to order more, I wonder how much money I’ll be able to make off of him?

He hands me the bits and leaves with the box.

Saitama pov

I don’t know if I got ripped off or not but I can’t believe they have manga here, so I bought all of them. After going back home to drop the books off I decided to get a shelf and some food.

On my way out I checked with landlord bro to see if I could buy a shelf and he said it was fine.
So I went back to the market and found a nice shelf that could hold way more books then I had now for only fifteen bits. Also I looked around for groceries and didn’t find a lot that I liked but I did get some noodles soup stock and tea, so that would be fine for now.

Fast forward to rent day

It was rent day but for once I didn’t have to worry about selling by bed to pay rent this time. I passed of the bits and headed out for patrol. When I got outside I noticed a trail of black smoke coming from a mountain.

“Huh didn’t know they had volcanoes near here?” I said to nobody but someone answered.

“It’s not a volcano is a sleeping dragon and that smoke is going to block out equestrias sky if it’s not stopped.” The purple mare said.

“So all I need to do is stop the dragon right?” I asked her.

“Sounds simple when you say it but you can’t fight a dragon!” she exclaimed almost like she knew everything.

“Well I’ll be back in about an hour, you want me to bring anything back as proof? You live in the tree right?” I asked her

“Whatever, bring me back a scale or something I don’t care.” She said and walked off.

She seemed like she was in a bad mood, whatever though I’m gonna go stop this dragon dude.

At the dragons cave: saitama.

After a while I finally got to the cave and walked in, and there was indeed a sleeping dragon. I prepared myself for a fight but first I wanted to try and talk him down. So poked him until he woke up.

“What are you doing in my cave creature?” he said with a booming voice.

“I just wanted to let you know that you’re disturbing the people who live in the next town, so can you sleep somewhere else please?”

“You think you can order me around? What is in it for me?” asked his voice rising slightly.

“I won’t have to fight you because that would be bad for your health.” I told him

Before I could react he unleashed a breath attack and went back to sleep without realizing I wasn’t hurt. I poked him again and he seemed shocked that I wasn’t hurt.

“How did you survive that without magic?!” he said in a low roar.

“Because it was weak, now can you please sleep somewhere else? I asked for the last time.

“That’s it your dead!” his voice had risen above the launch of a space shuttle at this point and I was getting a headache. He took a swipe at me and I jumped into range of his chest and said.

“Normal punch.” And the dragon no longer has a chest, as well as the mountain he was in now has a giant hole in it.

Canterlot guard pov.

You were doing patrols on the outer edge of the city while looking in the distance, you then noticed a massive hole had appeared in a mountain near ponyville along with what looked like a spray of red mist heading towards Canterlot. You quickly duck for cover as it hits and most of the lower city is covered in blood.

You don’t know what happened but you do know one thing, it’s time to turn in your resignation form.

Saitama pov

Well the dragon was dead and you had some scales to bring back the purple horse. Only thing left was to look for sick loot, of which you found nothing you needed. Some ancient looking artifacts mountains of gold an- wait that table looks cool. So you take the scales and the table back from the mountain. You drop the table off while swapping the one you currently had and putting it into the storage land lord guy said you could use.

Then you took the scales to the library tree and gave them to the purple pony (you really should learn their names so you can communicate with them better.

But after all was said and done you made some soup and went to bed.

Some large amount of time later

You woke up one day and looked out of your window only to see a swarm of Technicolor fuzz. At first you were confused then you realized you could hear muffled panic. So you jumped into your suit and ran out. Before you could do anything you were rushed by the fuzz but they soon left after eating all the food in your apartment that you paid for.

“GOD DAMN FREELOADERS!” you yell and immediately began punching clusters of these things into oblivion. After a while they thinned out and you found twilight using her crazy magic to burn them.

“Twilight I need you use your magic to bundle them all up, so I can punch them.” I yelled through the noise.

“Why should I help you?!” she had to yell through the storm of fuzz.

“You can go back to studying if you do it!” I yelled. After a moment all of the things stopped and began to converge in a single cluster. Once it seemed complete you leaped into the air and made the ball disappear. With only a single punch.

“Damnit why can’t anything take a hit here?” you ask to nobody and go back home disappointed.

Author's Note

hey, im gonna need an editor for this trash so if you want to edit shitpost pm me.