My Wondrous Life

'Dark, dark and MORE dark, these equines know how to treat a man... Okay, I may not be a man, yet! But in the grand scheme of things, I suppose I should have kept my cool. But it's hard to when you get a goddamn magical beam of death shot at you!' He said in his mind like he was addressing a journal of some sorts. 'Hmm, now there's an idea.'

'... Sure is boring without someone to talk to, huh?' He sighs in his own mind, not knowing how many hours passed, if at all. He could hear some voices, the same one as before whom seemed to sound curious.

"Hmm, the creature is bipedal, feline ears, irises and fangs... An omnivore, may be dangerous." She said to no one in particular, she was or someone in the room with her was scribbling down notes. If he were to guess, they were examining him under anesthesia... Or whatever that beam was.

"Body is slim and slender but no signs of malnourishment... I-Interesting phallus length." She said in a giggle. 'WAIT WHAT?! I'M NAKED?!' So many alarm bells went off in his head.

'OBJECTION! OBJECTION! OBJECTION! I OBJECT! NO, NO, NO!

She continued. "No sheathe for the phallus, hmm... Oh! It's standing!" She waited a few seconds. "...Oh my... U-Uhm! let's cover that up for now." She sighs and carried on. "No fur on body except for his head, that must be his mane and a little on his crotch... Good thing Rainbow isn't here otherwise she'd think I'm doing something inappropriate to the poor creature."

'YOU ARE! PLEASE! LET ME BE!' He shouts in his head.

She had a happy tone. "No fur adds to his pale complexion, such lovely soft skin... I wonder if he's perfect for cuddling?" She once again giggles but then stops. "Wait, he's... Oh Celestia, he's waking up!"

He jolts awake and sits up, panting like he was in a nightmare. He looks around to see no one is near him. "Good... No one ain't touching me up." He said with a pout and then noticed he was indeed naked. "...I'mma kill her." He said under his breath and groans as he puts a hand on his forehead.

"And to what do I owe the pleasure, creature." A strange yet motherly and warm voice filled the dark room, Kyo puts away the hand from his forehead and looks, to see a majestic white unicorn with wings with a flowing rainbow mane and tail, he could also see a picture of a sun on her flank.

He stays silent as he eyed her cautiously, to which the Pegacorn smiled. "Do not worry, I will not harm you." She said softly to ease his tension, it was working for the long run. He looked deep in thought for a moment before answering "My name is Kain, ma'am..." He said, still cautious. He had no idea if it was the best idea to lie to someone.

She smiles. "Well Kain, it's a pleasure to meet you, I am Princess Celestia, and no doubt you have many questions about where you are and how you got here, correct?" She said softly, but he nodded to confirm her judgement. "That's right... But it also seems you have questions for me too."

Celestia blinks before smiling. "That is correct, young one. You're a perceptive one." She said trying to break the ice. He nods as he tried his best to not get on her bad side, he didn't want to act like a smart ass and get sent to a dungeon or the guillotines. "Thank you, your majesty... Uhm, if you like I can answer your questions first and we can go to mine." He said, much to Celestia's reaction.

She wasn't expecting that, normally an otherworldly creature would demand answers to their questions. But here this bipedal creature has enough patience to answer her questions first, she smiled and nodded. "If that is alright with you, first... Where did you come from?"

This time, he can be truthful since he wanted to go back. "I'm from a place called Earth, but they recently recalled it Terra since it's a planet that is slowly budding to alien life." He said with a smile.

"Terra, how interesting." She said with an acknowledging smile, she seemed pleased with that answer. "What type of creature are you?" He nods. "I'm what you call a Felman, A mixture between feline and human..." He then looked at her, she was showing a confused look on her face.

"Oh! Uhm, a human is a lot like me except they have different features than us like uhm... Ears, eyes... No tail." He said as he tried to explain it. "Hmm, okay then." She said, not exactly pleased with the answer, but she could sense he couldn't really explain it very well. "I never paid enough attention to Biology on humans, I'm afraid." He said sheepishly.

She shook her head and smiled. "It's fine, we'll work around that... As for another question, HOW did you get here?" She already knew the answer, but she wanted his side of the story and connect the dots that way.

He explained everything, him walking home from school and rested upon a tree, finding that orb and teleported him here.

"So, is there a way to go back, your majesty?" He said with hope in his voice, but her expression said otherwise. "...I'm sorry, my Felman... But I'm afraid that there is no way to get you back without Starswirl's notes and journals." She said sadly.

His expression was from glee to depression in a matter of seconds. "O-oh.." He looks down and feigned a smile. "Oh well, that's tough luck! Hehe!" He said scratching the back of his head. His laughter turns to sobs and tears forming down his cheek.

Celestia drapes her wing over him. "Now now, Kain... It's okay. We can certainly try our best to get you back, I hold no promises but... In the meanwhile, how about you stay with us? You can become one of us and live beside my ponies?" She said in her motherly tone, the need to comfort came natural to her.

He nodded softly. "Okay..." He closes his eyes and rubs them.

She smiled. "Do you want your questions answered?" He shook his head. "No, I got the answers I wanted from our talk..." She nodded and continued her sunny smile, eventually the smile grew on his face.

That afternoon after he got his clothes and bag back, he was in the library with Celestia, Twilight and her friends. They introduced themselves casually, eliminating the tension of the room when they inquisitively questioned him.

He proved to not be a threat and the encounter last time was only a misunderstanding.

That's when Twilight finally popped the question... Not that kind of question. "So, what does your kind do for fun?" She smiled, hoping she'd get her answer.

He just shrugged. "Video games, reading and learning..." He said half-assed as he wasn't really in the mood to answer any questions, this made her look at the ground dejectedly, this made him cringe. "W-well, I'm not exactly wrong, but the question is a little hard to answer properly, I'm not good at explaining things since I was a new addition to Terra, being an exchange student and what have you."

She lights up a bit and nodded. "Thank you... I hope we can do a Q&A when you're feeling up to it, I'm sure being stuck in a world without any knowledge to help you would hinder you a lot."

He nods. "That it does... Thanks for understanding, Twilight." She smiles. "No problem, Kain."

It was gonna be weird being called Kain for a while, it was also something he immediately regrets when he came to trusting Celestia... He kinda wished he told her the truth when he could.

'Too late for that now... I made this lie up, I'm gonna have to live with it.' He said in his head.

"... I hope you don't mind, Kain... I uhm... Did some examinations on you when you were sleeping." She said sheepishly.

He then blinks and deadpans her. "...I have a lot to say to you, little missy... Don't you ever talk about my 'phallus' again!" He said with a grin, shocking Twilight and the others in the room.

"Hey Twilight..." Spike said and then asked the infamous question. "What's a 'phallus'?"

... Utter genius.