This is just a fucking closet.
"Well, Shit." Somewhere in the city of San Antonio, this quote would be memorized into the minds of basically none. Because the guy who said it was blasted into fucking space by rainbows and communism. We're getting ahead of ourselves though. Lets start from the beginning. With a 4Chan post.
Be Me
Be 19
Be home alone
Watch the girls TV show 'My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic' for around 8 hours.
Go to bed.
Think of how MLP Reminds you of Final Fantasy I
Think of how Final Fantasy I Reminds you of Communism.
Lauren Faust seems more suspicious now.
So does MA Larson.
Decide that MLP Is communist and never watches again.
Be me.
A year or so later.
The show is on its fifth season.
Decides to give it a try.
Will continue after watching.
Check in later.
Anon was absolutely elated. Not even thirty seconds after posting on the B board, he was already getting shit. This was the birth place of the brony, after all. He expected it, and he fed off of it. He laughed, and cried, as minutes passed, and people gave mixed reactions. Some people were pushing him to watch the show. Others were calling him a 4Chan Hitler. Three or four in particular caught his attention.
LoveAndTolerate666: Just watch like, three episodes of the fifth season.
ThatOneFag: Oh baby a triple.
JamesConned: Just watch the Season Four finale. It'll be worth it.
ThatOneFag: OH BABY A SINGLE.
As much as he enjoyed the 'Oh baby's', he was drawn in to the comment made by Conned. He supposed if he were to watch a single episode, even if jokingly, it would sit OK with him. One dose of communism at a time, as someone somewhere had most likely said at some point. As he loaded up YouTube to attempt to find some 'Bordered' edition of the episode (Bullshit like that is ALWAYS acceptable) He decided that he would delete his search history after said episode was watched. It was fine if his friends saw his porn sights in his hot bar, but not some pony crap. That would be embarrassing. As he found a proper length video, he waited for it to buffer. He mused at the fact that, if his life was ever written into a story, it would be complete trash. He decided on a secondary note that he would never write an auto-biography. Realizing that his mind was wandering off of the task at hand, he snapped out of his story writing delusions and noticed the screen was still buffering. He groaned, realizing that his high speed internet chose this very second to end.
Suddenly, the screen pitched. He jumped back, astonished at what could possibly be the most fucked up thing he'd ever seen.
->http://tse1.mm.bing.net/th?id=OIP.M50496e8b97edf9b4e95a2264746c83aco0&w=291&h=176&c=7&rs=1&qlt=90&o=4&pid=1.1<-
The last thoughts that entered his mind as he was sucked into the clusterfuck that was now his computer, was something along the lines of:
'I FUCKING KNEW IT, GODDAMNIT, I FUCKING KNEW IT'
His family never noticed him missing, so his meth-head girlfriend made him a gravestone. v v v
Rip Anon 2015-Early 2016 (day 2) We cri evry tiem.
Hypocritical, retarded purple horse.
Anon landed Fuck-Knows-Where, and did abso-fucking-lutely nothing. You happy now? You done with this bullshit adventure in this shitty story? Your only like, six hundred words in, and that's impressive. Most people would leave after seeing the bloody title screen. Lets see how long you can last after the criticism starts to hit.
Anon did his usual morning routine. He woke up, kicked off his covers, picked up his glasses on the stand beside him, and walked over to his computer.
Except for this time, he fell down some fucking stairs. In his morning stupor, he didn't realize a goddamn thing until he hit the bottom step face first. Shouting every harsh word that came to mind, he gasped as blood trickled out of his nose. He hadn't been hurt in years, and other than jump scares on the internet, hadn't seen any real blood in a while. In his astonishment, he didn't realize that something was poking him. After a few seconds of increasing intensity, he kicked out and hit whatever bastard dared poke HIM with a stick, he was the ruler of the internet, goddamnit. He turned over and stared down a small purple-green....thing, and screamed at the top of his lungs. He heard another scream behind him, and turned again to see a fucking horse. And not just a normal horse, a purple horse, with a horn. After around three seconds of matched screaming, the horse SAID something. The goddamn HORSE said something. Something like, 'calm the hell down'. He immediately came up with a name for it. Hypocritical purple horse. Then it tripped over itself, and fell face-first into the ground. He added onto his new pals name. 'Hypocritical Retarded purple horse'