Where there is one, there is always another...

"Run run RUN!" I shouted as we waddle-sprinted away from the farm, the ~~Clan~~ Orchard of Apples chasing after us, Grannies, Mothers, Fathers, Grandfathers, Opa and Oma's, and Cute, Little, Adorable, Foals. IT. WAS. TERRIFYING.

"Ohhh, I don't think I could ever eat another Apple product if it was the last sweet on Vita. And that's saying something!" Pinkie said, as we laid down, and let out a ginormous belch, one that shook the very earth to its core, and swelled the ocean, sending the planet into mass hysteria while toppling mountains and de-stabilising magic... OK so it wasn't that big but even Discord couldn't match a burp that big.

"Well... Wow. How much air did you need to make that beast of a belch?" I asked her.

"All of it." Deadpanned Pinkie, then burst out into a fit of giggles, I joined her high pitched giggle-fit with my own laugh.

"And what are y'all laughin' about now?" Said Applejack, appearing from behind the very tree we were leaning on.

"What? You mean you didn't hear that gargantuan belch of preposterous proportion.

"Eh, wasn't that big, Ah've seen Big Mac blow the front door off it's hinges before, hell of a laugh we got from that, 'specially when he got the belt from Granny for it. Didn' laugh in his face o' course. We woulda gotten a beltin' too" Said Applejack, beginning to cackle.

Thats... well sibling rivalry i guess? either that or the Apple family is more messed up than I saw when i 'glanced' at them.

"Hey, did we even get to tell you about the party in all of... that?"

"Lemme guess, it's your welcomin' party?" Said Applejack, raising her eyebrow

"Yeperooni! It's at 7 tonight, bring Granny Smith if you could, tell her that Watcher Pie's there." I replied, smiling wide and bouncing up while making my mane poof a bit.

"That's... is He where you get that from Pinkie? and why invite mah Granny?"

"Yeperooni!" Said Pinkie, smilide wide and bouncing up while making her mane poof a bit. "And his names Uncle Watcher!"

"Please, just call me Watcher, it would be odd if you called me uncle, and Granny and I are old friends." I said, smiling in that kindly-old-person sorta way.

"Well alright, where is it gonna be?" Questioned Applejack

"My home was just built in between your farm and Fluttershy's Cabin so if you just head in that direction you'll spot it, no problem."

"Ah'll be there." She said, closing the conversation.

"Alrighty then, Oh and tell her that my nickname is Ubuze, that might jog her memory if she forgot me." I said, just in case.

"Ah'll tell her. Ya'll have fun."

As soon as Applejack was out of earshot Pinkie asked me

"Doesn't telling Applejack your name negate the hiding, and how are you and Granny friends, she's only like, Eighty!"

"I said it was a nickname remember? and Granny smith is over five hundred years old," I said, nodding my head, "And dont change your birthday plans, people would start asking questions if they knew how old she was." I said, as i saw her pull out her quill and ink.

She slowly put them away saying,
"Okay, but when you say what you are I'm going to throw her a Sorry-I-Didn't-Know-You-Were-Over-Five-Hundred Party."

"Pinkie, if it was important everyone knew then Celestia would have told them, They are friends after all, And before you ask, no. Celestia is not actually over a thousand, She's only four hundred and eighty six, Granny Smith taught her how to cope with immortality."

At this point Pinkie was staring, open-mouthed in awe.

I giggled and said, "What? You mad?"

"YES!" She shouted, and went to pounce on me.

I dodged and started running for my 'life'

"GET BACK HERE AND TAKE YOUR PUNISHMENT LIKE A STALLION!" Pinkie Giggle-screamed, jokingly mad.

"NEVER!" I shouted back, galloping full speed toward town.

Ponyville, five minutes later.

"I SHALL NEVER SURREND-AHHH" I screamed as she caught me, we went rolling through the markets, destroying stalls and shocking the townsfolk.

We rolled to a stop, giggling and laying side by side as the villagers made a circle around us.

"Move aside!" i heard, as some gold-plated stallions barged through.

"You are both under arrest for disturbing the peace." They said, with hard looks in their eyes.

"But she didn't do anything! I was sprinting and tripped over her so she got caught up!" I said, hoping to not get Pinkie a record, who was at this point passed out from exhaustion.

"Hmmm, Fine, but you are still under arrest." They said, "Which means you must come with us back to the station."

"Alright, alright, just let this old stallion get up will ya?" I said, groaning as I got up.

"Move it Old Timer." Growled one of the guards as he rapped me across the flank with the flat of his spear.

"Do that again and we'll be seeing just how old I am." I stated.

"Was that a threat, Old Timer?" He said, narrowing his eyes.

"Eeeenope. It was a promise." I said, fully glaring at him.

"Believe me youngster, I've seen Old Watcher there take on a pack o' Timberwolves no problem, and he ain't one for no idle threats either." Said Granny Smith, hobbling into the marketplace.

"Hello there Annabelle!" I said, smiling, "You could have let him whap me again, I woulda showed him what a true Guard can do."

"Bah! By the time you would be done there wouldn't be much o' him left to guard in the first place!" She said, we both started cackling, knowing full well that it was true.

"H-hey!" Said the Guard, blushing in rage, "I could absolutely beat him!"

"So now your gonna beat an old timer? wow, The Guard is just FULL of great ponies." I said, further infuriating him, his partner was on the ground laughing his ass off at this point.

"And besides, you retired from Royal Army Captain last I recall." Said Annabelle, raising her eyebrow.

The other guard stopped laughing and said "We do still need to take you in to pay the fine Sir Pie, and I apologise for my partners actions."

"Then lets go." I said, 'Oh and Annabelle, you are coming to my housewarming party right?"

"Heck yeah I am!" She replied enthusiastically.

I chuckled and said goodbye, then went with the guards to the station. Once they found out I was the former Royal Army Captain the one who hit me was oddly quiet... I guess Just mentioning my job that was over a hundred years ago has an effect.

I met Pinkie at the bakery afterwards, she was a bit out of it, looks like Pinkamena is here. I sat down at a table in the corner and waited for her to come over.

"hey." She says, having come over when i gestured.

"Hello Pinkie." I said.

She started crying and jumped into my open hooves, leaning on my and saying "I'm sorry, i'm sorry." over and over.
I just put my hooves around her and teleported us up to her room, saying that it's fine.

When she finally stopped crying my coat was drenched, it looked as if I had been running for hours with no breaks. I pushed her off my wither, turned her face towards me and said,

"I don't know why your crying Pink, It's not as if I actually got arrested."

"Y-you didn't? But,but the guards came and an-" I put my hoof up to stop her.

"All I had to do was pay a fine, nothing more, and you know how rich I am so it's not even bad. Speaking of which you know I could alway pay for you to start your own bakery?"

"J-Just a fine?"

"Just a fine."

"YAY!" she jumped up and tried to kill me with a hug. "and i know, but I prefer to work with the cakes."

"Yo-r klng thj ghd off da vod Memk."

She unwrapped me from my tomb. "I'm what?"

"Your were killing the god of the void Pink." I giggled, i still don't know how she can harness chaos magic passively .

"Well, Let me go tell the cakes why we were up here and then we'll go PARTAY!"

"Ok, I'll see you there, you got your Party cannon?"

"Yuppers!"