Everything I've Ever Wanted

Twilight Sparkle awoke.

She opened her eyes groggily, peering through the fog of sleep, only to be greeted by the sight of an unfamiliar ceiling.

Where am I?

She looked around. Moonlight streamed through a window, bathing the room in a dim glow. Twilight lay on a small cozy bed under a warm beige comforter, recognizing an adjacent untidy table and packed bookshelves. She blushed as memories of Sunset's tight, shapely figure, intertwined in passion with her own, flooded her mind.

Eheh... I think I’m still a little sore from that.

She sat up slowly, wrapping the comforter around her naked body in order to shield herself from the chilly air.

Sunset’s not here.

For a moment, Twilight wondered if she had been woken up by Sunset Shimmer leaving the room. Twilight glanced into the bathroom, door ajar, next to the cupboard. It was empty.

Where is she? Did she get up to get a drink?

She felt lonely. Earlier, they had cuddled for a long time, basking silently in the afterglow of sex until sleep overtook them. Twilight wished that Sunset were here. She wanted to hold her again, to tell her how happy she was and that being together felt absolutely magical.

An odd sound, like a sniffle, came from the living room.

She shifted her feet onto the floor and stood up still wrapped in the warmth of the comforter. She shuffled quietly into the living room. The lights were still off, and the lonely silence gave the place a cozy stillness. The dim moonlight gave her enough light to make out a naked Sunset Shimmer sitting on the couch, wrapped up in a smaller blanket.

Twilight walked over to the couch. As she approached, Sunset finally noticed her and looked up. She frankly looked terrible. Twilight was not sure if Sunset's disheveled hair was a reflection of her emotional state or from recently waking, but her puffy, red eyes betrayed the fact that she had been crying.

The sight filled Twilight with worry. She sat down on the couch and pulled Sunset tight against her.

“Tell me what’s wrong,” she whispered.

Sunset began to cry. She put her arms around Twilight’s body and sobbed quietly at first, but that quickly broke into a loud bawling and inelegant blubbering. Rivers of tears, snot and drool marred her pretty face in a way that would have been comical if it weren’t for her obvious distress.

Twilight held her tight for as long as she could, hoping the warmth and closeness of their bare bodies would comfort the weeping girl. They remained in that tight embrace for some time while Sunset had a long, relieving cry in Twilight's arms. It felt like Sunset had a lot of pent up pain to let go of.

Suddenly Sunset broke their hug and pushed her away.

“No, no…” she began, but her strained voice couldn’t find the words to finish.

“Please, Sunset,” came Twilight’s pained reply. “Talk to me so I can help you. You don’t have to bear your problems alone - I’m here for you. Please… please tell me what’s hurting you.”

All Sunset Shimmer could do was gaze into Twilight’s eyes, tears still streaming down her face.

“I’m so stupid!” she choked. “Please don’t hate me…”

“I promise I would never hate you, Sunset.” Twilight tried to hug her again, but Sunset stopped her.

“Wait… wait. I need to tell you first. But – just… I’m so, so sorry! I, I…”

Sunset tried to continue, but stopped. Then she opened her mouth to speak and stopped again. She looked like would break out in tears once more.

“I… I’m afraid tonight might've been a mistake…”

The words cut right into Twilight’s heart. She didn’t know what to think. Was Sunset rejecting her, after everything that happened? A knot began to form in Twilight’s gut as she tried to understand.

When Twilight didn’t respond, Sunset continued, “I don’t… I don’t know how to feel about you. All my life I thought I hated you, but you just had to be so… so perfect. No wonder m… Princess Celestia chose you over me...”

Recognition started to form in Twilight’s head. But Sunset wasn’t finished.

“That day, when you were talking about the Tree of Harmony - that’s when I realized that… that I never had a chance.” Sunset’s voice was becoming choked up again. “Your cutie-mark was carved into it a thousand years ago… that’s how she knew. Even though I tried, tried so hard… it wasn’t my destiny to be the one who... who would face Nightmare Moon and become the Princess of Friendship.”

Twilight was shocked. “You mean… Starswirl’s prophecy?”

“On the longest day of the thousandth year, the stars will aid in her escape, and she will bring about nighttime eternal,” recited Sunset Shimmer. “I was taught that prophecy almost from the day I could read. For years I thought that was my destiny, to face Celestia’s long lost sister, but that all ended the... the day I got my cutie mark…"

"I thought she’d be so proud of me, but she knew then… that I had to step aside and make way for… for you. That was the day my whole life went downhill..." She started sniffling.

"I thought at first that I wasn’t good enough, that I had failed some test of hers. I begged her to tell me what I had done wrong, how I could do better, but now I know she didn’t say anything because there wasn’t anything I could have done! Because destiny picked you, and not me! Because my cutie-mark wasn’t… wasn’t a six-pointed star!”

Tears streamed down Sunset’s cheeks. She choked back a sob.

“When I ran away I wondered for so long if things could have been different. I wondered what would have happened if I had stayed and listened to her. And I wanted to mend that rift between us. But when the portal reopened thirty moons later, I went back only to see… to see her teaching you." Sunset’s face twisted in sorrow and pain. "To find… to find that she had replaced me…”

Twilight felt like her heart had given out. She didn’t know how to respond. “Oh Sunset… I am so sorry…”

“No, no please don’t... don't apologize to me. Don’t you see? I hated you for so, so long because I thought you’d stolen my destiny from me when in reality… I was just some loser trying to steal yours. When I stole your crown I thought I could get everything back, but even when I had it and you didn’t, you still beat me. And worst of all when it was all over you still had to be the bigger pony and forgive me for all the horrible things I did. I lost because… because you’re just better than me in every way.”

That last sentence looked like it pained her terribly to admit. Twilight badly wanted to comfort her. “Sunset, please don’t say that. You're not a loser…”

“No, I am! And tonight I… I really messed up. I was feeling so awful and when I found out you had a crush on me I went and repaid all your kindness by… by seducing you, just because I wanted to… to conquer you… oh gosh I am so stupid!”

The compassion Twilight was feeling suddenly drained away. It was replaced almost instantly with a rising anger.

“You… you what?” she said through clenched teeth.

“I… I shouldn’t have slept with you - it- it was a mistake…”

“A mistake? Did you even have any feelings for me at ALL?” Twilight felt her self control slipping, and her voice was raised just a little too loud at the end.

“I… I really don’t know! I didn’t mean to hurt you, I swear!” Sunset pleaded.

Twilight covered her face with her hands and closed her eyes, counting quietly. Eventually she opened them and drew a deep breath.

"Okay, answer me this," she said, as calmly as she could manage. "How do you feel about me? Tell me the truth."

Sunset dried her tears and turned her eyes away. "I... I'm not entirely sure. I mean, I like you, but I'm not certain if I also hate you. And making love to you... I really don't think I should have done that."

Twilight thought about the Sunset Shimmer who she shared a bed with just hours earlier. She remembered the feeling of apprehension and nervousness from before, the fear of being rejected, but the thought of being rejected now made her feel sick.

"You.... really suck."

Sunset nodded ashamedly. "I know..."

Twilight bent down to pick up her clothes. Her voice was still strained when she spoke. "I'm going home. I'm trying not to be angry at you, but right now just seeing you is... is making it really hard to do that. You... figure out how you feel about me. Tell me when you've decided."

Sunset simply nodded again mutely.

Twilight got dressed and walked to the door. As she took hold of the handle, she looked back and saw Sunset, back turned towards her, sitting dejectedly on the couch.

She opened the door and left.