Life and Times of the Ladies of Canterlot U

Pinkie Pie yawned, the soft rays of the morning sun leaking through the bedroom window, and rousing her from her dreams of defeating the Murderous Mascarpone Malevolent Madness. “It was a delicious duel,” Pinkie yawned to herself, giggling as she rolled out of the latest bed she’d found herself falling into each night. Below her the sounds of women moving out to get their days of school or work started. Pinkie shook her hair out and considered running down to see the Dazzlings off, but decided against it once she caught sight of just how in need of a shower her poor hair was. “Aww are you all sad today Mr. Hair?” Pinkie asked, taking stock of the matted, and flattened portions of her normally poofy do. The semi sentient mass of bubble curls seemed to wiggle in place, confirming Pinkie’s suspicion.

With a shrug Pinkie sauntered into the master bathroom, the cool tiles bringing a bit more wakefulness to her. In a few moments, she’d started the shower and was admiring herself in the mirror as it got warm enough for her. In front of the mirror she took stock of her nude form, putting her hands behind her hair and puffing out her ample breasts, then turning to the side and bending slightly at the waist to accentuate her perky ass and thick thighs. “Yep still as hot as one of Mrs. Cake’s famous chili chocolate eclairs!” Pinkie giggled, giving a little bounce and putting a jiggle to her entire body. “And twice as creamy!” she cooed, the mirror starting to steam up from the shower heat.

Pinkie was soon in the shower, enjoying the deliciously hot water bringing her senses out of the sleepy fog that was almost always present in her morning routine. Her hair almost seemed to purr as she ran it under the cascading shower head, massaging the mass of curls into a long straight waterfall of hair. After several minutes worth of shampooing and conditioning she was satisfied and set to work lathering up the pink loofa with her favorite vanilla and cinnamon body wash. Pinkie always liked to take her time, sudsing up her entire body like she would a cake, running the loofa all over her pink skin and getting it nice and lathered.

Her hair cascaded down across her breasts and favoring the blurry reflection in the glass shower room door with a lathered pose Pinkie silently wished there was a camera on her. However, knowing she had places to be Pinkie put her vanity to the side, and rinsed off, finishing her morning routine quickly and stepping out into the steamy bathroom to towel off. Bending low to dry her hair Pinkie rubbed the mass of pink curls faster than any dryer could compete, and with a flip of the previously drench mass, and a sudden poof, Pinkie’s hair was perfect again.

Swiping the towel across the mirror Pinkie took one last look at herself and nodded with satisfaction, if it weren’t cold out she’d consider going to work in just her cute apron, but then the Cakes never let her have quite that much fun. Banishing her dreams of a nude bakery for the moment Pinkie skipped out of the bathroom, and threw on her typical pair of hip hugging jeans and a low cut white shirt with her favorite balloon pattern on it. Slipping her socks on Pinkie ran downstairs to see Adagio at the kitchen counter working on the computer, no doubt doing something related to whatever she did to make money happen.

“Good morning dear, long shift today?” Adagio asked, looking over her shoulder, the thin set of wire framed glasses hanging off her nose and giving her a very sexy school teacher vibe.

Pinkie smiled brightly at the Dazzling matriarch and nodded, “Yeah I’ve got a few special projects to work on, but if you wanna stop by Sugarcube Corner this evening I’ll whip us all up something tasty,” Pinkie said walking to the counter and grabbing an apple from the bowl of fruit they always kept out.

“Sounds lovely dear, I’ll let all the ladies know, we can make a little night of it together,” Adagio said, not too subtly eyeing the impressive way those jeans hugged Pinkie’s ass. Pinkie noticed as much and bent across the counter so that the jeans rode just a little lower. “Though if you don’t get going soon I may indulge early,” Adagio said with a chuckle, causing Pinkie to giggle herself.

“If I must,” Pinkie said with a dramatic sigh, taking the winter coat she'd draped over the bar chair to Adagio’s left, and kissing her on the cheek. “I’ll see you all tonight!” Pinkie said and with a quick run was out the door and in her pastel pink smart car.

“That woman really does make me feel young again,” Adagio sighed, shooting a message to her lovers and friends on the social media app she had open behind the spreadsheets and emails she had been working on. Smiling gently Adagio went back to her figures, deciding putting in plenty of work would let her sleep in after what would no doubt be a long night.
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The Cupcake-9000 zipped through traffic on Canterlot’s streets as she made her way to Sugarcube Corner. Bouncy pop music blared from the speakers as Pinkie followed the beat with her body. Drivers would likely have been safer if the stereo fizzled out, but after a few minutes Pinkie had safely parked her tiny vehicle in her spot behind the sweet shop, leaving only four cases of drivers with near heart attacks from her driving. Leaping out of her car Pinkie ran into the back door and took a deep breath. So many lovely scents, the cinnamon and cardamom mixing with the delicate scents of yeast, and the thick sweetness of buttercream.

“Hello my lovelies, Mama Pinkie is home,” Pinkie sang to the ingredients, earning a giggle from Mrs. Cake as she removed a pan of muffins from the massive oven at the side of the room, against the wall.

“And good morning to you Pinkie,” Mrs. Cake said warmly, placing the muffins on a cooling rack and removing the oven mitts to embrace her favorite apprentice. “A touch early though aren’t we? Have those new girlfriends of yours been instilling less of a night life in you?” she asked in a motherly tone, examining the pinkette. She was looking a bit brighter since her departure from the constant night life at Lyra and Bon Bon’s, but Mrs. Cake always worried about her little soft hearted dumpling. True she wasn’t blood, but Mrs. Cake always saw her as an honorary member of the Cakes.

“Maybe a little, Adagio always tries to get us into bed a little early,” Pinkie giggled, returning the hug with her usual vigor.

“Oh my, to be young and adventurous again,” Mrs. Cake giggled, trying to push out the images of just what the crimson eyed woman might do to wear out her apprentice.

“You’re just as young and adventurous as the day I met you Cup Cake,” Mr. Cake chuckled entering the kitchen from the front and pecking his wife on the cheek. Mrs. Cake simply blushed as Pinkie giggled. “As for you Pinkamena, the shop is pretty quiet right now, so you can get on Fancy Pants’ request if you want,” Mr. Cake said pointing to the drawing Pinkie had pinned up in her section of the bakery.

“Oh yeah I can’t wait to get that done! Promise to teach me how to fold marzipan for it later like I asked? Pinkie asked moving to put on her apron and chef’s hat. The large drawing outlined many places in which the gallery opening centerpiece cake would need extremely fine details. Pinkie had dreamed of making pastries this complex, and this was her first real opportunity to lead the project.

“Of course Pinkie, but don’t sweat too much about it, the micro details. You know my saying,” Mr. Cake said winking at his wife.

“It’s gotta look good across the room, but taste even better on the plate!” Pinkie repeated, her back straight and her arm saluting like a proper soldier.

“Oh it’s like seeing my student go off for college, I’m so proud!” Mr. Cake said, sniffling at the joyful pride welling in his heart and inspiring his manliest tears.

Mrs. Cake simply rolled her eyes, and led her husband to the front of the shop. “Come now dear let’s go get the displays ready and prepare for the the university students’ first break,” she said, patting her sobbing husband’s back as she pushed him through the door.

Pinkie giggled and began the practiced process of creating the most important part of the cake. Ten minutes later saw her measuring out eggs, flour, milk, salt and a few special ingredients to give each layer a special touch beyond ordinary white cake. Six separate bowls of batter, six flavors of cake working to harmonize into something truly spectacular. Normally she might dye each layer, or work to combine chocolate with red velvet and yellow cake, but this was a cake for a bunch of snooty people; this needed a level of elegance to it.

Pinkie smiled to herself, smelling the delightful aroma of uncooked batter, picking out each subtle variant of what was essentially the same recipe. She then began carefully pouring them in their respective moulds and placing them in the multi layered baking oven. Each pan seemed far too large for just one layer cake, but Pinkie had plans for the extra volume. For now however she occupied herself with creating the numerous decorations for the layers. Marzipan, frostings, and sugar based paint in all colors, all prepared across the course of half an hour, and placed in the refrigerator to wait for their time to shine.

“Alright, just another hour or two and I can get on that one, next up is the Pinkie Pie specialty!” Pinkie said happily to herself, moving to the second set of mixing bowls she had placed on the stainless steel counter to the side. Beside them sat numerous cupcake tins already prepared for their contents to be poured in. With a happy hum as she worked Pinkie again prepared cake batter, this time using several different varieties of ingredients. Red velvet, lemon, raspberry, triple fudge, angel food, and even champagne wedding cake were all painstakingly whipped up in batches befitting a gathering of hundreds.

Just as she’d finished a triple batch of red velvet batter Pinkie heard the alarm go off for her layers. A few tests with a toothpick and one cooling rack transport later, the layers were entering stage two of the creation process. This was Pinkie’s art, the subtle science of baking mixed with her own magical flair, and if one were to peek in they would only see a pink blur working about the kitchen as the time on the clock seemed to pass in fast forward.

“Hey Pinkie, your friends are all here!” Mr. Cake’s voice rang from the front, causing the flour covered pinkette to look at the clock for the first time. She’d spent a full five hours readying everything, decorating cupcakes, and doing everything with the layer cake but putting on the most advanced touches with the delicate fondant. It wasn’t bad progress, but she knew tomorrow she’d need to finish the detailed work with Mr. Cake, but casting aside her worries Pinkie dusted her palms off and moved to the door.

There in the lobby were all of her friends, some sipping on soda, Rainbow in an arm wrestling match with Aria, and Rarity talking costumes with Adagio. “Hey gals! Ready for a special surprise?” Pinkie asked, earning cheers from all present. Pinkie smiled wide, that warm fuzzy feeling in her tummy growing as she grabbed the selection of cupcakes she’d made for the little taste test. Sure, making a really big party for the rich people was great, but nothing quite compared to sharing the fruits of her labor with her friends.

Pinkie presented her creations with flourish to the ladies, a collection of massive cupcakes of each flavor she’d made for the party. The icing swirled in a varied expression of colors, some reserved only for present company as the elite of Canterlot might not like buttercream breasts on their lemon cupcake. “Damn Pinkie these are some awesome cupcakes,” Rainbow Dash said picking up a huge lemon cream cupcake, only to be smacked by Rarity.

“Yes darling they are lovely, and I’m certain we’ll enjoy sharing a taste of each one,” Rarity said, eyeing the selection with approval.

“You’re right in that line of thought Rarity,” Adagio said, sipping from her bottle of water, and earning strange looks from all present. “Some of these were created for that gallery of modern art opening, are they not?” Adagio continued, earning a slack jawed look from both Pinkie and Rarity.

“How in the world could you have known?” Rarity began earning a wink from the Siren matriarch.

“Call it woman’s intuition, I’d hate you to feel I was violating that precious mind of yours,” Adagio said huskily, bringing a blush to the alabaster cheeks of her intended prey.

“Yup got it on the nose Dagi. I figured I’d make some extra and use you guys as guinea pigs. If it’s good enough for my favorite ladies then it’s way too good for the snooty people,” Pinkie said, scratching behind her head as she giggled.

“Well shoot darlin’ I’m not gonna complain, third best time I’ve ever been the test subject for somethin’,” AJ said, moving to take a finger pull of cupcake. Suddenly her shoulder felt very cold, and looking to her side she saw Rarity holding up a fork, a neutral expression gracing her placid features. Somewhere south of her belt AJ could feel a stirring, and so taking the fork she began cutting into the triple fudge cupcake, wrapper and all.

“Damn Pinks, even busted out the edible wrappers?” Sunset asked, taking a bite of the delicious red velvet and buttercream cupcake. The wrapper was simple, it just sorta melted like spun sugar, but the richness of the cupcake was a pure taste of heaven. As much as AJ was clearly touched by Rarity in that moment Sunset found herself moaning softly at the flavor in her mouth.

The women present went wide eyed as a blush spread across Sunset’s face, her eyes half lidded as she chewed. Aria and Sonata raised their fists to Pinkie, receiving a fist bump each. “Foodgasms are a side effect of the Pinkie special,” Pinkie giggled, behind the counter two sets of eyes rolled, as they moved to flip the open sign to closed. No reason to expose the late night patrons to whatever show was doubtlessly brewing.

“Alright you dears, have fun, and Pinkie be sure to lock up before you go,” Mrs. Cake said giving a wave to the little party that had begun in their shop.

“Give the babies lots of hugs for me~” Pinkie sang waving goodbye to her employers before pulling the blinds down and smiling slyly. “Shall we move this party to the back ladies? I still have plenty of party favors back there,” Pinkie said, earning an excited cheer from those not currently enjoying cupcake bliss. A few moments and several opened bottle of booze later saw the ladies all chatting between orgasmic bites of cupcakes. Everyone present was smiling widely as stories were swapped, music was played, and drinks were had.

“Gotta say Pinkie you always know how to make PT days a little bit better,” Rainbow chuckled squeezing Fluttershy close in her sore arms.

“Oh yes, this is just what I needed after that dissection today, poor Mrs. Cow,” Fluttershy whispered, taking another reassuring bite of lemon cupcake as her troubles began to melt away.

“Aww shucks Fluttershy y’all did everything ya could for Bess, she was an old cow and I’m glad she could help ya learn after she passed,” AJ said, patting her friend on the back.

“I didn't know you’d recently lost an animal Applejack,” Sunset said, concern in her voice as she remembered the nature of winter for farming families. The Apple family was well established sure, but their cattle were a huge part of the industry, and losing one couldn’t be good.

“Think nothin’ of it sug, we knew it was comin’,” AJ said evenly, turning her attention to Pinkie. “Being one down may make it tough to get y’all some of the ingredients for the shop till a few of our calves are ready to milk this summer,” Applejack sighed as Rarity moved a hand to hers and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

“Oh that’s ok AJ, I know a lot of recipes that don’t need as much milk,” Pinkie said, throwing her arms around Fluttershy and Applejack. She hugged them close as her mind began to work, and after a moment she went wide eyed. “OH! I have an idea!” Pinkie screeched, blowing the hair of those in her arms in opposite directions as she ran over to Sonata. Sonata waved at the approaching pink tornado before being whisked off into the blanket fort Pinkie had made between a few spare tables some time ago. Everyone blinked as a pink arm emerged sticking up a sign which simply read “Plotting in progress, keep out.”

“Should we?” Aria began, receiving a full set of grave head shakes for her question. “Right, don’t question it, and if we hear ticking we run,” Aria concluded, causing all present to nod in agreement. So the party resumed, the ladies sipping at a drink or two, Rarity pulling a massive set of notes out to show Adagio, and Rainbow getting thoroughly trounced by Sunset Shimmer at an arm wrestling match.

Inside the fort Sonata smiled at one of her favorite people in the world. “Ok I think I totally know what you’re gonna say, and I’m already on board,” Sonata said giving Pinkie a thumbs up.

“Good, but I just can’t figure out how to make it big enough, how much do those even cost? I super duper need your help on this one,” Pinkie said, forming her hands into a prayer position and earning a giggle from her blue skinned lover.

“It’s easy, we make it a town wide gig, get the gals to play some music, and make Adagio do the numbers thing,” Sonata said with a shrug, and with a quick movement had her cellphone out. “You just focus on thinking up some tasty treats, I’ll get Big Mac to get you supplies and we can use our kitchen to bake. Gotta keep this business separate so that we can cross market.” Pinkie marveled as the woman worked, sending out messages to points of contact, and in no time her little plan was all set up. “There, one week from now we’ll have all we need to get a few new moo cows for the farm, all you have to do is make baking magic happen,” Sonata concluded stowing her phone away.

“Perfect, you’re the best Sona,” Pinkie whispered hugging Sonata tightly in her arms. She could only giggle as the strategist extraordinaire nibbled on her exposed neck. The two remained like this for a moment, Sonata’s hands roaming over Pinkie’s warm, flour covered body. “Oooh, Son-Ah-ta we should go back out bef-ngh- before we get missed,” Pinkie half moaned half squealed as the blue Siren’s fingers worked her like putty.

“If I didn’t think you were right I’d totally be wrist deep,” Sonata whispered, nipping Pinkie’s ear as she pulled back from the shivering pinkette. “Should we tell the gals or is this a covert Pinkie operation?” Sonata asked, seemingly regaining her composure immediately as Pinkie Pie worked to slow the flow of blood her traitorous heart was pumping to her loins.

“Let’s keep it a surprise to AJ, and get her a little extra tipsy so she doesn’t remember telling us,” Pinkie suggested, and hearing an immediate “YEEEEEHAAAW,” from outside the fort. Sonata simply smiled as Pinkie stared wide eyed at her. “But- how?”

“It’s a Dazzling thing, don’t question it,” Sonata chuckled.
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Pinkie sipped her cotton-candy-tini slowly as she watched Sunset drink Rainbow Dash and AJ under the table. She had to smile at the antics of her friends as they took round after round of shots, Washington Apples for AJ, Fireball for Sunset, and Pineapple Upside-down Cakes for Rainbow. Aria just chuckled as she made their sixth round, AJ looked three sheets to the wind, but Rainbow and Sunset were going at it as though the contest was the ring.

“You know, thematically this all fits quite well, but why a pineapple shot Rainbow Dash?” Rarity asked in between rounds, as she patted her lover on the back.

“Cush yellow ish mah favorite color, specially when it cums across my tongue,” Rainbow slurred, hiccuping as she finished. Fluttershy, though slightly pinker in the cheeks, simply rolled her eyes and patted her lover on the back.

“Cute, but are you two really gonna wuss out on me?” Sunset asked, earning immediate dirty looks from the alabaster and yellow women as their partners grew yet more conviction. Aria chuckled, as she pushed three more shots to the women, but as each woman reached out for their drink three new hands swiped the shot glasses away to a resounding round of “awwwww”s.

“Darling much as I appreciate your competitive nature I believe you’ve had enough,” Rarity said downing the apple flavored shot in one go and placing a cider in front of her lover. “Now nurse it, or else.” Everyone visibly shivered at the last part, as the room got several degrees colder.

“Dashie I love you,” Fluttershy said softly, sipping half of her shot and smiling at the sweet flavor of the sugary shot. “But if you throw up on my bed again I’ll make you sleep in the actual dog house,” Fluttershy concluded the promise with a nod and sipped the rest of the shot. This time making a sour face as the higher proof liquor seemed to have settled right at the bottom.

“As for you my dear Sunset,” Adagio whispered huskily, licking the rim of the shot glass sensually, before placing it between her impressive cleavage. “I’ve seen you stomach considerably more, so one last shot, and make it worth it,” Adagio said with a wink. Pinkie giggled as the halfway drunk Sunset gave a cocky smile.

“Oh what a throwback, didn’t we do this on our first date?” Sunset giggled approaching her lover and lapping at her cleavage up to the sweet cinnamon shot, before taking it in her teeth and slamming it. Catching her glass in her off hand before bringing Adagio into a deep cinnamon flavored kiss. At this all present gave synchronized “ooooooooh”s as the two worked their way to the blanket fort, their limbs twisting incomprehensibly to fit in it. After a moment of moaning a hand emerged with a sign which read “Enter at your own pleasure”.

“So~, anyone wanna turn the music up to drown that out?” Aria said yanking her thumb to the rapidly shaking fort. Pinkie giggled and extracting a remote from her hair turned the only copy of the Rainbooms up. The ladies giggled as Pinkie sauntered her way over to the table sitting down and finishing her second drink.

“So is everyone gonna be able to make it home alright?” Pinkie asked, her party safety mind counting each drink and the alcohol content therein out almost instantly. All women not engaged in coitus tried to think back, and several stood to test their wobbly legs. Pinkie chuckled softly as they all gave a thumbs up, some clearly more nervous than others. “Well as much as I love to see you ladies smile you know the Pinkie Pie Party Rules,” Pinkie said, pointing to the basket hanging by the wall. Naturally several women moaned, but none dared to defy the orders of the premiere party planner of Canterlot, tossing their keys into the basket.

“Alright so we’re stranded till tomorrow, what do we do till we pass out?” Aria asked, pulling a drag from her vaporizer and exhaling a chocolate doughnut flavored cloud into the room. At this Aria noticed an evil look in Sonata’s eyes, and that evil look went straight to Pinkie. “Well I’m walking home seeya all later,” Aria said rising from her backward facing seat, only to be pulled over to the carpet by pink and blue arms.

“Pinkie~” Aria sang.

“Spin the Bottle!”
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Limbs twisted all around the floor, colors melding together in different states of undress. All colors were represented in what was effectively the cuddle pile save for one. Pinkie Pie stood outside the back of the shop, her perky pink breasts free to the moonlight and the chill of the winter air as she sipped on a glass of water, and took the occasional drag off Aria’s fifth backup vaporizer.

She coughed softly as she finished exhaling a strawberry cheesecake fog into the gated alleyway. The city hummed its soft sleepy music around her as she giggled at the many photos she’d taken. Her face wore a soft smile, and numerous patches of different colored lipstick, and her chest was peppered with angry purple and red bruises.

“Hey Pinks, you ok?” a soft voice whispered from behind her. Sunset Shimmer had silently emerged from the back door, and had managed to get right behind her before draping her leather jacket around Pinkie’s shoulders.

“Yeah, just thinkin’,” Pinkie whispered softly taking a puff from the vaporizer and passing it to Sunset.

“You don’t say? I figured you’d come out to make us all breakfast themed ice cream,” Sunset chuckled accepting the vaporizer and putting an arm around her pink friend.

Pinkie cracked a smiled and shook her head. “Naw I’m just thinking about home, and the future, and stuff,” Pinkie said, sadness creeping slowly into her voice as images of the Pie family farm came to her.

Sunset took a drag from the device and nodded, squeezing Pinkie closer. “You know, this really smart chick I know used to say that the past is behind you so shake your butt at it, and the future isn’t here yet, so just smile and open your present,” Sunset said turning to face the giggling pinkette.

“I did say that a lot didn’t I?” Pinkie asked, nuzzling into Sunset’s warmth.

“Every time I’d come over you’d say that after we fooled around,” Sunset reminisced, lowering herself and planting a long soft kiss on Pinkie’s lips. Pinkie melted into it, wrapping Sunset into a full embrace as they made out against the pale moonlight.

Once they parted Pinkie couldn’t help but let a single tear slide down her cheek. “Oh dammit that’s not how you’re supposed to act when a pretty lady kisses you, silly eyes,” Pinkie said through a choked sob as she wiped the rogue tear away.

“I don’t mind Pinks, remember how often I cried back then?” Sunset whispered softly stroking the mass of pink curls that was Pinkie’s hair. “Besides I think I know what has you all stirred up. You’re still a little skittish after what happened with Lyra and Bon Bon?” Sunset asked, earning a quiet nod from Pinkie.

“When it happened it kinda made me all sad inside, and I can’t make the sad go away sometimes, I’m always all scared it’ll happen again,” Pinkie whispered, her voice cracking on another sob.

“Pinkamena Diane Pie,” Sunset whispered, her voice only slightly shivery from the winter air. “You’re more important to me than just about anybody in the world. You pulled me outta the worst kinda depression I’ve ever felt, and you held me more nights than I can count. If you think for even one second I’d ever give you up for anybody then you’re smoking more than just the stuff Mac grows behind the barn,” Sunset finished, her voice filled with brave passion as she turned Pinkie’s head to face her. “I love you Pinkie, I’m a former magical horse from an alternate dimension, if you think I can’t love hard enough for everybody then you’re just gonna have to stick around so I can show you,” Sunset said softly, her eyes misty as she gave that winning Sunset Shimmer smile.

Pinkie’s own smile was soft as she shook in Sunset’s strong arms. “Make the sentiment double for me,” a deep feminine voice said from the door. Adagio stood with her back against the open door as she wiped a few tears from her eyes. “Pinkie you should know something about Sirens, once we invite you to our waters you’re always welcome, and you’re always home,” Adagio explained motioning for the couple to come in. “I’ve seen the sun rise and set more times than you can imagine, and that part of us has never faded. So come back in, and remember we’re a family till the end.”

With that Sunset pulled Pinkie into her arms and walked her in, the warmth of the bakery sending tingles through her fingers and toes. There in the small hours of the morning Sunset and Adagio snuggled Pinkie Pie, each humming a soft lullaby as the worries for her past and the concerns of her future washed away from Pinkie’s mind as if taken away by the tide. In that perfect moment, Pinkie Pie was truly home.
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“Oh dear, that’s not going to feel good when they wake up is it?” Mrs. Cake asked Mr. Cake as she peered through the back room door.

“Nope, let’s get the coffee and pancakes started,” Mr. Cake chuckled pulling his lovely wife into the kitchen and pressing the button on the massive coffee pot to start the brewing process. “I give ‘em another two hours before they get up, and the morning customers should start filing in then too,” Mr. Cake continued, reaching up to grab his special pancake mix for just such occasions. The box simply read, “Mac’s Mix”.

A sudden pressure on his right buttock and the feeling of his wife’s breath on his ear gave Mr. Cake pause. “You know Carrot, if we have two hours we probably shouldn’t start breakfast just yet,” Mrs. Cake whispered huskily, the blood now rising in her husband’s cheeks, amongst other places. “Why don’t we whip up something special for ourselves, get the morning oven nice and hot first?” she continued, her free hand now occupied with the growing bulge under Mr. Cake’s apron.