The Standard and Normal Human: One : Meeting T.G.A.P. Trixie

The Standard and Normal Human4

There is one thing in the world that can cheer me up in any situation, a good doughnut. It doesn’t matter what’s in it, It never ceases to put a smile on my face. I’ve heard in japan they have deep fried doughnuts with a curry filling, that right there is mind blowing to me! Eeyup, I’m that easily impressed. I held the letter in my hands and realised, this was a message just for me. I mean It was talking about Trixie after all, so I decided to put it in my pocket and keep quiet about it.

“Did you say something?” Trixie shouted back at me, hearing me yelling about something. “We’ve got some food for the trip, but we might need some more”

“Huh, so what’s the plan?” I responded with interest, intrigued I then fired the next question immediately. “We going shopping?” And then a thought occurred in my noggin, ‘How does she make money?’ I mean it’s free entertainment right? Yet she had money stashed away for a rainy day, where did It come from? That would be something to ask her later, Trixie had her bag of money ready to go and she began walking off the stage.

“Yeah, let’s go see what they have...” Trixie said happily, as she hopped off the stage. I followed suit as she led the way, as we walked to our destination we were greeted by the townsfolk passing by. “Morning!” Trixie chirped happily to the ponies smiling in our general direction, clearly she didn’t notice it was midday. She was happy so it wasn’t important, but we did need to get a move on. Trottingham sounded like it would be quite the trip. At the time, I couldn’t even figure out how we would get there in the time span we had. That question however would be answered sooner than I thought, it would also look pretty damned cool as well.

Eventually, after a few minutes of walking we had arrived at our destination. It was a small building with a sign outside which read, ‘General Goods’. I chuckled as I took that out of context and whispered to myself, “Sounds like quite the soldier”. We opened the door and waltzed in, not literally mind you, I haven’t got a clue how to dance so no, I’m not writing that in thank you very much... Yes I know it was a turn of phrase... Anyway, as we entered a bell rang above our head. You know the one right? The typical low budget door sound system alarm... Thing... Heck if I know what it’s called, it sounded and the pony at the till turned their attention our way. They weren't looking directly at us mind you so I figured she had no idea who had just entered her shop, I should have shouted surprise...

”Welcome” The pony shouted from the back, kneeling behind the desk looking for something. Eventually showing their face and then finally looked at us directly. “How may I help you?!” It was a she, and she wasn’t recoiling in shock. To be honest I don’t think she could see us clearly, she was squinting her eyes, straining just to see who had entered her shop. “Forgive me, these eyes aren't what they used to be...” And now to give an accurate physical description of this pony... She was quite old, light pink mane, cream coloured fur. Her Cutie mark was in the shape of a bag, clearly she was a merchant or the general store owner.

“Um, that's fine...” I replied, I was expecting screaming and such. I looked at Trixie who wasn’t as surprised as me, she rolled her eyes and took the helm...

“Well we need some supplies for the trip were making” Trixie informed her, “We’re heading towards Trottingham”

“Oh! So you’ll be taking the train then?” The pony exclaimed, “Either that or it would take two or three days...”

‘Train?’ I thought to myself, ‘No... We have a wagon, we aren't just going to leave it... Are we?’

“That’s right” Trixie responded quickly, “We’ll be leaving shortly, I just need to speak with the driver and we’ll be off!”

Slightly confused, I had begun wandering around the store, whilst Trix was buying whatever she thought we needed. As I did this I could feel the presence of two eyes being fixated on my person, don’t ask me how I knew but I felt like I was being watched by that clerk, it was pretty uncomfortable but I guess she was still unsure about my motives, well it was either that or she was wondering why a pony was walking on their hind legs... Or wearing clothes... I was wondering what would happen to the wagon and why she needed to talk to the guy driving the train, but I’ll explain that later. Anyway, I was looking at what this old mare was selling. The items ranged from plants for salads to medicines for the ill. These were all herbal based of course, it was remarkable how they stored the finished product. I mean we have pills right? Either the solid medicine you swallow or those plastic tubes that dissolve in the stomach. As for these ponies? Well, the herbal medicine was rolled up in leaves, then tied up with a string to keep it inside. You know alchemy right? Mortar and Pestle and all that jazz, that's how they ground it up. Anyway, it seemed like they used leaves for more than just this, like wrapping bread or edible things. They lived in the desert, so I guess they just used what they could.

I turned around for one moment to see Trixie waiting for the clerk to fetch something down for her as she continued to browse around. As for the clerk? Well, she was struggling to grasp something just out of reach. She was an earth pony, no magic and she couldn’t fly to reach it. I began to walk up to where she was and could see what she was reaching for, it was a suit of some sort. I didn’t think about it too much and so I reached up and grabbed it for the senior mare, she was very grateful.

“Oh! Thank you!” she responded, as I handed her this quite large costume. It was in two half's, about my size, yet it was supposed to fit two ponies inside. The lady turned to Trixie, “Is that everything young lady?”

This confused me slightly, I mean Trixie had decided to buy this costume which, I slowly realised, looked like- No, it WAS a giant chicken. It was a giant freaking chicken suit! She handed her money over to the clerk and passed me the suit to carry, she took the smaller bag containing her shopping of course.

“Oh I do worry about what you have planned...” I muttered quietly, as we headed out of the shop.

We said our goodbyes to the merchant pony and headed back to the wagon, I knew I had to ask about the suit but I already had a good idea of what she would say... Though at the time I prayed it wasn’t what I thought...

“So Trix... What’s with the suit?” I asked nonchalantly, carefully inspecting the costume in my arms. “It looks as if its for two peo- Uh, ponies”

“That's because it is...” Trixie stated plainly, she turned to me with a smile “Well, it Was anyway...”

That made me stop in my tracks, “Was?” I questioned, “Trix, what on earth are you planning?” She ignored me... Of course...

I shook my head and resumed walking behind her, upon arriving at the wagon I stored the suit in a spare cupboard. It was next to the food storage, it was pretty much empty, well except for her cloak and hat just hanging there. Oh wait, I might have forgotten to mention this but she only wears that during her shows. When she’s out and about she doesn’t, she wears nothing like most ponies in this world. I still find that fact pretty weird to be honest... Ha! Just had a thought, you know when people say you should imagine people to be naked in nervous situations? Yeah well that wouldn’t work in their world, they were all naked and I was still nervous...

It occurred to me at the time that we were stocking up the wagon with supplies, yet we were heading to Trottingham via train. I headed outside and inspected the wagon, I had a hunch. I walked to the front of the and had a look at the frame, it had the strangest thing on the front. It was a rail connector that would usually be found on train carts, then I moved to the wooden wheels. I got down to the ground and noticed a circular piece of metal on the inner half of the wheel, it was a train wheel. I’m not even kidding, I began to question how she got her hooves on something like this without money. It would make for a good question on our trip to Trottingham, so I decided to keep that for the train.

I could hear some fumbling around inside the wagon, then the wagon had begun to move. I jumped back in shock and took several paces back, Trixie just stared at me from the driver's seat and asked me, “Are you coming?”

“Trixie....” I began, as I jumped onto the moving wagon and took my seat next to her. “What on earth have you got planned?”

“I’m sure you can figure out that yourself” She replied, “You're not as stupid as you make out to be...”

I stared back at her in complete confusion, “Um, thanks?” It was a compliment, it was just how she said it... It Sounded a bit strange...

We didn’t say anything for a while, she just rolled the wagon slowly through the town. Eventually we got to the station and she pulled up, I got off first so that when she lowered it to the ground I didn’t go flying. She then walked up to the train conductor at the station, who after a short talk led her to the front of the train. I had no idea what she was up to, I just leaned on the wagon as I awaited her return. It gave me more time to think about the past couple of days there, mainly the more pressing issues that were at hand.

Who were her parents?

Why does she seem to dislike her parents?

Did something happen in Las Pegasus?

Did it stay in Las Pegasus?

Why did she decide to hit the road and entertain the land, freelance style?

Heck, I had many questions and hoped they would be answered in time. Tray seemed to think that she shouldn’t be bombarded with questions, yet when I asked her questions in the saloon she answered. Uncertain she may have been about sharing this information but she was slowly opening up to me, I guess we did have a crazy first couple of days. I’m still surprised she let me tag along, then of course you have the other side of the coin. I could be in ponyville, living it up Pinkie Pie style. Or perhaps I could have been targeted with questions by Twi and Spike about what I was and where I came from? Maybe I could have climbed some trees and grabbed some apples? Or met some friendly wildlife? All these Ideas and yet I threw them aside for answers of my own, who was Trixie really? I used to think she was an obnoxious blabbermouth who bragged about herself no end, it was strange to see that whole concept being flipped on its head let me tell you. Yet there I was, travelling with that same pony who had clearly changed...

The driver of the train came out, walked straight past me, inspected the wagon by circling it, then turned to Trixie and gave a nod. He then turned around back towards the train and swiftly walked straight past me again, completely blanking me from his view. I was a tad confused but I guess he had important matters to attend to, like driving the train maybe? I shrugged it off, then witnessed as Trixie carefully lifted the wagon onto the tracks which was then connected securely to the last passenger cart on the end with its connector... Thing... I can’t explain what it looked like, just imagine a claw and a pin, that was pretty much all it was...

“Ok, we’re all set!” Trixie announced as she began walking towards me, “Ok, you had better get in”

“Okie Dokie!” I replied with enthusiasm, I had never been on a passenger cart before, let alone a train. “How much are tickets?”

“Wha- Oh!?” Trixie spluttered, initially confused by my answer she began to elaborate.  “No, I mean you had better get in the wagon, we wouldn’t want everypony panicking again would we?”

“But my presence in this world is recognised by now right? Surely it would be ok?” I reasoned, I just wanted to ride in the train. It wasn’t exactly a massive request, I just wanted to feel some normality for a change. “C’mon, what's the worst that could happen?”

“You know they would just panic like before!” Trixie quipped, slowly this conversation was turning into an argument. “Just wait in the wagon, we’re heading to a city so It will be a lot more crowded-”

“No, I don’t think I will” I interrupted swiftly, “I’m getting tired of hiding when we head somewhere new... In Fact, I bet when we get there, news of my existence will have gotten there and they will welcome me with open arms-”

“I highly doubt that” Trixie interrupted me, this conversation just screamed ‘cross-counter!’ “I’m not buying another ticket, just get in the wagon...”

Her face was adamant, holding her ground she gave me that look that said, ‘Just do it...’ I eventually gave up and complied unhappily, “Ugh fine...” I walked off, I was rather irritated. I Jumped onto the wagon, then I made my way inside. Yes, it was an argument about something as simple as that. Grabbing my sleeping bag I laid it down and got comfy, or tired to at least. I grabbed a spare pillow and rested my head, ‘Maybe I could get some shut eye at least...’ I thought to myself, I started to doze off and I was looking on the bright side. You know, like its not that bad? Or my most used catch phrase, ‘Could be worse...’

“Last Call!” I heard someone shout outside, I assumed it was one of the workers shouting to anyone else who wanted to board the train. It wasn’t loud enough to distract me from my sleep, I gave a yawn and began to fall into the sandman's hands... Until it happened. The train's whistle gave an almighty screech and I shot up like a mousetrap, I gave a short scream and then realised how bad that just sounded, but no one heard it so it was all good... Oh wait, No! It was a manly scream I swear! Like the Spartans! No, This... Is... Patrick! Oh who am I kidding...

The train got moving and I was jittering around like a child, it was pretty bumpy... There wasn’t a chance in hell was I going to get a good night sleep like that, so I ignored Trixie’s warning and bolted. I jumped out of the wagon, climbed to the front and hoped the gap to the end cart. It went pretty well, I didn’t die for a start. I carefully slid the door open and kept as low as possible, metal gear style. It wasn’t necessary however, the whole passenger cart was empty. Have you ever seen the Train in Harry Potter? The passenger seats are kind of separated in those little rooms, with the two windows beside the door. It was exactly like that, and as I carefully made my way forward, I peeked in to make sure no one was in. It was clear as I had said previously, but I wasn’t so sure at the time. I deemed it clear and was about to take a seat, but my curiosity got the better of me. Something in the back of my head said to me, ‘Continue onwards... You know you want too...’ I laughed to myself, “That’ some good thinking brain, Let's roll!” I whispered, as I made my way to the next cart. This one was slightly occupied, one room was being used, the rest were fine. I didn’t learn this however until I walked past an open door leading to the room they were in.

“Hey stranger” A random voice said behind me, I panicked and reversed slowly, then looked towards who was addressing me, “Yeah you, you want to join in?”

This pony, No. This senior colt, was offering me to join in on their game, he wasn’t even looking at me. In fact, none of them were! Their eyes were fixated on their card game, with a shrug of my shoulders I took a seat and grabbed the cards on the table in front of me. “Sure, I’m game...” I was surprised, they were playing a variation of poker. I think its called five card draw, basically you start with five cards and you decide how many cards you wanted to discard for new ones. You did this this only twice, after that you show your hand. Oh, but you still have the two cards in the middle of the table like in Texas hold 'em. It was rather fun, we weren't gambling so it was just a friendly match... And they never looked at me during the entire game...

As for what they looked like, they had the same colour fur and mane. The main differences were their eyes and headwear, to be quick and concise I gave them nicknames. They did however sound a lot like Yu-Gi-Oh cards, this was the best way to remember them. So Here we go...

1. The Red eyed Top hat

2. The Magenta Monocle

3. The Blue Beret

All of them were elderly and had very strange fashion senses... All this coming from a guy who wears a green woolly hat at an angle so that the red tag is inline with his left eye. At that point I regretted not wearing my black fedora when I went through the portal, I would have looked classy...

Now this card game went on for a good 2 hours, I knew that fact because it was getting dark rather quickly. I realised I had to find somewhere to sleep eventually, the wagon was still a no go at the time. It was the last game I had before I was interrupted, I had a damn good set of cards. I was one card away from a winning hand, I knew that much for sure...

“He he, you got no chance...” Red eyes boasted, in fact that was the first bit of boasting I had heard since I had arrived in their world.

“Don’t get too ahead of yourself...” Monocle quipped back, “You haven’t won anything yet...”

Beret was the quiet one, or seemed to be at least. He just sat there hiding his face beneath his hat. All you could see was a smirk, quite the shady character.

All three of them laid their cards on the table, some good hands sure.... But mine was just a tad more spectacular...

“Nick!” I heard a familiar voice shout at me, “I thought I told you to stay in the wagon!”

“Yeah yeah, would you hang on a sec?” I replied with a great lack of emotion, as I took my hand of cards and slammed it on the table, “Read it and Weep!” I shouted with glee, this was truly a triumphant moment.

The senior ponies all recoiled in shock and awe, even Mr Beret. “How in Equestria did a young colt manage that?!” He shouted, then it happened. The old ponies finally, Finally looked up at in complete synchronicity and saw a strange creature they had never seen before. “What in the name of Celestia...”

“Ha! Royal flush for the win!” I chanted as I started dancing around happily in my seat, “Oh yeah, I’m Human by the way... That was fun!”

Trixie shook her head irritably, “He’s not a danger” She said to the ponies, then looked towards me. “And I thought I told you to stay put!”

“Have you actually been in the wagon during these trips before?!” I replied swiftly, “There is no chance I’m getting any sleep in there, I figured that out and started exploring... Then these guys asked if I wanted to join in with their card game... The rest you can kind of figure out...”

“Well I’ll be, you sure showed us a thing or two...” Blue beret said, turned out this colt wasn’t as quiet as I thought initially. “Where In Equestria did you come from?”

“Well...” I began as I looked at these elder colts, I told them everything. How I got there, where I was from, my age, gender. The whole shebang! It took a while to go over, by the time I was finished it was dark... And I was yawning...

“I’d better get some shut eye, thanks for the game!” I said happily, they waved to me and I walked out of the room. I looked to my right and Trixie was sitting on the floor, nodding off by the looks of it, “Hey, you awake sleepy head?”

“Of course...” Trixie replied with a tired yawn, “Let's find a room and get some rest for now...” She wasn’t as annoyed with me like before, figured I could at least ask her that before we slept.

“Not mad at me? I’m kind of surprised...” I said, scratching my head with confusion. “...Thought I’d be getting a lecture for not staying in the wagon...”

“It’s noisy...” Trixie stated, at first I wasn’t sure what she meant by that. She did however see the confusion in my face and reworded that statement, “I went to the wagon, It was noisy and unbearable... Sorry...”

“Whoa hang on” I began as I put my back on the wall and let myself slide down it, “You had no idea what it was like in there during these trips, I don’t blame you for asking me to stay put...”

“But-” Trixie tried to respond, but I interrupted her response.

“But nothing, just do me a favour though” I began, Trixie nodded in confirmation. “Just trust me a little more, I know what I’m doing... I wouldn’t do anything stupid enough to endanger myself, my cover or the people and ponies around me... That’s a promise...”

Trixie looked at the floor for and we just sat there for a while, I was thinking about my remaining days in their world. Also whether or not I’d actually figure this filly out, everything else wasn’t as important as finding this out. I turned to Trixie with yet another question, “Hey Trixie, what are your parents li- Uh, Trix?” But she was counting sheep quite peacefully, I sighed and picked her up. She wasn’t light at all, even with the size ratio. I found an empty room and dragged her into it, laid her onto the seat and then fell onto the opposite side, tired and exhausted I rested my head onto the wall and began to nod off. I made sure it was the empty room nearest to the wagon, just incase I had to bolt and make a quick escape.

Trottingham was turning out to be quite the trip, when I finally woke up the sun was just peering over the landscapes, I realised we were still moving. I looked to my left where I had placed Trixie, she was gone, she’d vanished, poof! I peered my head through the doorway and looked down the hallway carefully, unknowing if any ponies were in the area at the time. There were a few walking around, but I wasn’t sure whether or not to make a break for it. I could have gone all metal gear and sneaked back, but I still had no idea how much longer I would be travelling for.

I carefully tried to signal to a certain showpony, “Trix!” I whispered, but to no avail. I decided it was best to hide if I couldn’t move around safely, so I did the manliest thing I could think of, I hid under the table. This was supposed to be a temporary form of cover, until I fell asleep. What felt like moments later, I suddenly had a certain ponies hoofs go flying into my face, which answered my question from earlier. “Ach! Trix! That hurt!”

“W-what!?” Trixie stuttered, as she started fumbling around wondering where I was. Eventually she put her head under the table and recoiled when she noticed me in such a way that she bumped her head, I laughed. This turned out to be a mistake, as I crawled out from under the table a small bag of something whacked me in the face. “Now were even” She said with a smirk, I got comfy and opened the bag. Doughnuts! It was a moment of sheer brilliance, I dug in without second thought and Trixie looked at me like I was a crazy person. “Do you have to eat like that?”

“Y-es A Do!” I spluttered, accidentally launching shards of the doughnut towards Trixie’s face. I took a gulp to clear my throat before responding again, “He he, sorry...”

Briskly wiping the nutted-dough from her face, she looked out the window with lost eyes. I wasn’t sure she really had a plan when she started travelling, free as a bird was what came to mind. I envy that, every now and again in our world I’ll see a bird and I’ll think to myself, ‘You lucky sod, you’re not tied down anywhere’ I hate that feeling of confinement, yet it's a lifestyle I’m very used to...

“So Trix... What was it like in Las Pegasus?” I asked Trixie, curiosity got the better of me. “You must have had some friends there as a kid right?”

“... I did” Trixie replied, unsure as to where this was heading. “They were on the outskirts though...”

“Outskirts? You mean out of town?” I quizzed, this was going somewhere. “Why not inside Las Pegasus itself?”

“Because they couldn’t afford to...” Trixie stated, “It’s not cheap living there, most can’t even afford to get in...”

“Whoa hang on! They charge you to let you in?!” This was quite shocking to say the least, I mean at the time I thought it was quite a free and helpful world. Yet somewhere had shown such greed for something so trivial, well to me it was anyway. “Was it expensive?”

Trixie nodded, “I often travelled outside to entertain the less fortunate ponies who weren't allowed to enter... However...” She said, unsure whether to continue or not...

“However?” I probed, this was definitely heading somewhere...

“My parents tried to stop me, they said it was ‘Bad for Business’. I didn’t care though, I just sneaked out...” She continued, I was surprised she was telling me any of this... ”I would entertain my friends with the magic I had learnt, as well as use some tricks I picked up at the time... I did that for a while...”

“What happened after that?” I questioned, this was getting interesting.

“Eventually the ponies on the outskirts couldn’t stay there any longer and had to go, they lived in wagons and chose to live where they wanted... They were free... Unlike-”

“Unlike you right?” I interrupted, she nodded at me to confirm this fact. There was a lot of nodding going on, reminded me of those bobble-heads you can still get. “So... What? You took a wagon, some money and bolted from town? No, wait... You probably thought it through better than that...”

“Actually...” She began, “That's exactly what I did...” My reaction can be summed up by the sound of ‘Huh...’ Trixie however did have more to say on this subject, “My parents had several to spare, not to mention the money they made...”

“So... What were your parents like?” I asked her, it was the question I think she dreaded the most.

That same silence loomed again, her eyes were shifting left and right. However, a few moments later... “Greedy...” Trixie uttered under her breath, I heard it clear as day but I felt the need to confirm it.

“Did... Did you just say greedy?” I questioned, seemed like quite a negative view to start off with... She seemed to seethe at the sheer mention of her parents, I thought it was best to, once again, back off.  “... Ok, so how did they make their money then?”

This seemed like quite a stupid question at first but I asked ‘How’, meaning I wanted to know the method of how they obtained that wealth. I knew they were entertainers, but not how they went about it. The answer would ironically tick me off entirely...

“My parents were a double act” Trixie began, sighing as she went on to explain, “My mother was a unicorn but was useless when it came to magic. As for my father he was an earth pony, they used anything but magic... Illusions, smoke and mirrors, sleight of hoof, quick reactions...” Trixie turned back to the window, she looked slightly irritated, “But they still called it ‘Magic’...”

Now folks, I’m going to explain something which I’ve only really touched upon very briefly. In the human world, we have these performers who entertain us and make us recoil in shock and awe, even make us cry with laughter. How they do it doesn’t bother me too much, I mean as long as they say what it is it’s ok right? The main thing that irritates me the most however is when they call it something that it isn’t, like calling an illusion ‘Magic’. I know damned well that it’s not magic, because in our world it’s not something that exists. Magic is a fictional work of genius, it opens up a new view on the world with wondrous eyes. It’s something that can’t be explained, its something we’ve all heard of before. If you have seen anything or read anything to do with magic you’ll get what I’m saying, It’s when someone says something is magic when clearly it isn’t, that’s when I get most irritated. So what if a tractor ran you over in front of a live stage? It wasn’t magic, it was a bloody forklift truck lifting it behind the curtain, it was technology! Oh, what’s this? You sawed someone in half? Magic you say!? No, No its not! Its a bloody illusion, get over yourself... A card trick? *gasp* My card?! B-But how!? NO! Sleight of hand you cursed fool! Stop calling it Magic when it clearly isn't!!!

...Wow, when I want to I guess I can rant just like an old man...

Well, as soon as Trixie said that ‘M’ word, I began to twitch with utter and complete aggravation. ‘Trixie used magic’ I thought to myself, ‘Yet they're the ones taking all the credit!’ However once I calmed down a tad I realised something which caused my irritation of this very pony who was sitting in front of me, It was so obvious at the time I felt like banging my head against the table.

“...Trix” I began, resting my head in an open hand. “I don’t suppose you boasted all that time to seem more spectacular than your parents did you? To try and take them down a notch?” Silence was the answer, that nail took a swift stroke to the head. It made sense, plus when I thought about it more it pieced together so perfectly. Doing that for so long made her forget how to act as herself, she was so busy trying to make herself more well known than her parents she forgot herself in the process! Then when Miss Sparkle completely showed her up she panicked, headed out of town...

“...What are you, a detective now?” Trixie eventually replied, sighing as she confirmed what I just figured out. “It’s true, during that time I almost forgot who I was... Got showed up in a town... Attempted to carry on with everyone looking down at me... And then I met you...”

“I see...” I said nonchalantly, though in my mind I was screaming, ‘I was right! Yes!’ My eyes were averted as I could hear Hoofsteps coming closer to our room, “Oh Snap!” I whispered as I saw a shadow approaching the door. As I quickly dived under the table, Trixie stared in confusion until she too looked at the doorway at the pony checking the room. It was a reporter of some kind, with one of those reporter style hats. It’s Cutie mark was an ink bottle, member of the press I guessed...

“Excuse me you two- Oh” The pony stopped mid sentence, looking around the room to see only one pony. “I’m sorry, I thought I heard two voices... Anyway, would you like to buy a newspaper? It’s Only one bit!”

“Oh, sure!” Trixie replied as she flick a coin into the air. The pony caught it and put it into his small side bag, he then took a newspaper out of his other side bag, slightly bigger than the other, and then passed it to Trixie. “Here ya go, thanks for the business!”

The reporter walked away and continued his business, I clambered out from underneath and sighed for relief. “Wow, that was close...” I uttered, still trying to keep my voice down to stop it from happening again. “Why did you buy that?”

Another short silence, those were getting quite old at the time. She looked rather intrigued and eventually passed it over to me, I soon realised I may have caused quite a stir for it to have happened...

“... Princess Celestia’s Surprise visit to Dodge Junction...” I said half heartedly, realising what was happening. I had to ask the obvious question, ” Huh... Do you think she’s-”

“Following us?” Trixie interrupted, knowing exactly what I was about to say. “I think you know the answer to that one...”

“Just thought I’d ask out loud...” I replied, slowly I turned the page to see what else was happening in the world. “He he, this is a lot better... Check this out”

I passed the paper back to Trixie and her face smiled just as mine did, “The town’s folk of Dodge Junction were visited by the mysterious creature which was recently spotted in Appleloosa. At first they fled to their homes, but surprisingly the creature was extremely friendly” Trixie stopped reading out loud as her eyes scanned down the page, “It seems you're becoming more than a mystery now at least...”

“At least they know I’m not a danger now, might make things a bit easier around here...” I stated, I looked out of the window into the distance and could see civilisation. This wasn’t a town, it was a city! It was humongous in size and stature, as we got ever closer I could see how neat and perfect the buildings were inline with each other. This place was in the middle of a desert and yet it looked amazing, I would have loved to look at it more at the time but I slowly realised I shouldn’t be on the train...

“Oh right... I’d better split...” I uttered out loud, I grabbed the newspaper from the table to read while I waited in the wagon. “See you in a few” I said to Trixie, waving as I left. As I walked past the rooms I placed the newspaper in my face, concealing it as best I could... I made it without any problems, I hopped in the back and laid on my sleeping bag for the next few moments.

The train whistled and began to slow down, I peeked out of the window and there must have been five times the amount of ponies than at Dodge Junction and Appleloosa put together! I honestly had no idea how big this place was, I had only heard of it because of Pipsqueak. Well, not from him exactly but he was from there right? We had stopped moving, moments later the wagon began to glow a shiny light shade of blue as Trixie began to lift it off the tracks, it felt pretty weird but when it landed I was glad to be on solid ground again.

I heard hoof-steps in the front and then we started moving, I continued to look out of the window and it seemed as if the ponies were watching the cart. This confused me slightly but then again, perhaps they knew where I was hiding? I checked the newspaper and scanned down the page for anything related to a wagon, low and behold there it was...

‘This strange creature appears to be travelling with a freelance show pony who has been identified as ‘Trixie’, helping this filly on their travels using a wagon which originated from Las Pegasus. Sources believe that they are offering ‘Free Entertainment’ as witnessing ponies didn’t have to pay anything for the show, we talked to some of the ponies and asked them their opinions of this creature...

“At first everypony was terrified of it! But after a while it appeared to be laughing and having fun...”

‘Anonymous’

“It didn’t seem that bad, it was chased by some fillies but it was laughing the entire time! I think it was enjoying itself...”

‘Anonymous’

“If anyone meets it, don’t panic. For the love of Celestia don’t panic, this human isn’t something to be afraid of, I’ve met him before and let me tell you, this kid is alright...”

S.T.

Kid... Yeah, guess who said that... “Huh, so they know what we’re travelling in...” I said to myself, I got up and walked over to the storage cupboard where my suit was and put it on. I didn’t have much choice, plus I needed to feel the weight of the thing and see how well I could move around in it. It wasn’t that bad actually, the headpiece felt slightly more weighted but I could deal with that. I was jumping around the place so much I hadn’t even realised we had stopped, I gave myself a break before I began sweating in the suit. It wasn’t very thick but it built a lot of heat up from all the movement, I took it off and sat on the floor.

“What are you doing?” Trixie asked, confused as to what I was attempting. “If you do that you won't have any energy for the show...”

“Yeah well... I needed to find out... What wearing it was like...” I said as I panted, “Besides, we have some time... Right?”

“Actually while you were, dancing around, I was preparing the stage and decorations...” Trixie informed me, I got up and carefully peeked outside and took a look around. Banners, lights, she had it all ready to go. “As soon as you catch your breath we can begin...”

“Thanks for the warning...” I said sarcastically, “So, what’s the routine this time? You want me to start dancing on the stage. I could probably pull off a handstand...”

“It will be the same as Dodge Junction” Trixie began, then looking at me with a smirk on her face. “Except we have a giant dancing chicken this time...”

“Oh how grand... Well at least they won't run away like scared children this time...” I remarked, “Hopefully...”

We both laughed and got to work, I was back to manning the levers which controlled everything light powered, as well as operating the rope pulley for the main curtain. I peeked outside and there were a lot of ponies stopping to see what was going on, there was at least one hundred of them. I wish I was kidding but this place was huge! I've not even been to Nottingham, the place it's based on, yet at the time I just knew it must have been around the same size. Everypony was wearing clothes, top hats, monocles, it had such a business style to the place it was captivating. I even saw a couple of bowler hats, heard a strangely familiar tone of voice which sounded strangely reminiscent to the ‘Cockney’ accent.

I chuckled and broke into song, “Maybe It’s because I’m a Londoner, That I love London taaaaaaaawn” Not caring who heard me or what I sounded like, it was worth the strange look I got from Trixie. ‘Huh, perhaps I should check Nottingham out one day...’ I thought to myself, as I got the signal from Trixie and I began moving the levers for the lights.

“Welcome to Trixie’s Free Travelling Entertainment!” Trixie shouted clearly and concisely, it was an introduction that I hadn’t heard before. It was catchy, T.F.T.E. “I have come here to entertain and mesmerise!”

Then the routine began, some of it I had seen before but there were some new tricks as well. At one point she tipped some sand on the the stage and made it come to life, it took on the shape of an earth pony and began to walk around. Ok it wasn’t really brought to life but it appeared to be, then she poured water next to this pile, and also brought it to life. She was straining, I think she had been practicing this for a while but it was still quite tricky to pull off. The water took on the form of a unicorn, it then suddenly turned into ice and froze in place. The sand turned to rock as well, it truly was an earth pony. I got the cue for the first wave of fireworks and launched them, shouting as I did it “Fox 1! Fox 2!”

The fireworks flew into the air, it was spectacular! It looked like a Pegasus! I’m not even kidding, it was flapping its wings and everything! Eventually they exploded in mid air, spreading many different colours into the sky. The crowd ‘Oohed’ and ‘Awed’ In amazement, at the time I wanted to remind myself how and where she got those from, but this thought would have to wait. I got the main signal and dived into the chicken suit, “I can’t believe I’m doing this...” I said to myself, I hated crowds. Especially ones this big, but to help out Trixie I just took a deep breath and did what I always did in stressful situations, act like a total fool...

Trixie set off a smoke bomb and I jumped onto the stage, assuming a position to my human like rituals. As soon as the smoke cleared I began, “Everyday I’m Shuffling!” I shouted as I began to dance like the crazy human I am, Trixie saw me and face-hoofed. I was in tears and couldn’t stop laughing, I looked at the ponies who were staring at me with confusion in their faces. They thought it was two ponies in a suit, if it was then it would be darned hard work to pull off what I was doing. I attempted juggling at one point, but I ended up with a ball to the face. It didn’t matter much as the crowd found this hilarious, then I moved onto something I hadn’t tried properly before, a hand stand.

I began by clapping my hands and kneeling down onto the ground, began to roll and stopped halfway and then extended my hands and hay presto! I managed to pull it off barely, my arms were shaking trying to hold my weight. I don’t know why I did this next or why I thought it was a good idea but I began to walk on my hands, it seemed however that earlier on, when putting the suit on, I had forgotten to secure the heavy head piece properly. It fell off onto the stage and the weight had completely put me off balance, I fell forwards onto my back and yelped as I winded myself. I tried to get up briskly and grab my head before it was too late, but alas, they had spotted what I was.

Those staring eyes struck me down once again, I froze in place. I didn’t know what to do, I tried talking but this time I found myself incapable of speech. I was a shaking wreck and couldn’t stop my eye from twitching, luckily Trixie jumped in to save the day! Kind of...

“It’s ok, he’s not dangerous. He’s just-” Trixie began to explain but was interrupted by a screaming pedestrian.

“A Monster! Run!” A colt shouted, the crowd stampeded away from the stage. You could feel the earth shaking beneath your feet, within moments I had witnessed the same scenario three times in a row.

Trixie stamped her hoof onto the stage, “Oh for the love of Celestia...” She began, suddenly her ears perked as she remembered something, “Oh yeah, seems like you lost the bet...”

“Good thing I didn’t bet anything then huh?” I said, after finally calming down enough to speak proper English and becoming capable of constructing a sentence. “Well, it’s not like I didn’t see it coming...”

We both looked at each other and started laughing out loud in this now silent and empty city center, this was turning out to be quite the experience for both of us...