The Standard and Normal Human: One : Meeting T.G.A.P. Trixie

The Standard and Normal Human5

Déjà vu is a mysterious thing no? I mean I’ve felt that before in the past, like something similar had happened which is happening at that very moment. To be quite frank however I should have seen it coming, at least the city was a marvellous spectacle. There was a clock tower which peered over the vast amount of buildings around us, I looked around at my immediate surroundings and noticed where we were parked. It looked like the city center, a water fountain was right in the middle of the ‘square’. That’s what people call it right? The city Square? I’m pretty sure it is... Anyway, market stalls lined the area. There were walkways and even roads for carriages, from the looks of it this place was pretty high class. My idea, unfortunately, was that they were all pompous snobbish ponies who looked down their noses at everypony else around them, I’ve seen people like that before and let me tell you, it irritates me so very very much...

The buildings were made of wood, western style, I’m sure I mentioned this before, but there’s a lot more to say actually. They were very neatly placed, by this I mean that they seem to fit perfectly next to each other, same spacing, same design. It was perfection, Death the Kid would be having a fit if he saw them. Well, until he saw the rest of it anyway. The market stalls weren't placed very efficiently, almost as if they were just dragged and dropped from one place to another. Untidy and randomly, but there was quite a lot for sale.

I turned to Trixie, wanting to do something that I had yet to do on my own... “Hey Trix” I began, “Do you mind if I just kind of ‘wander’ around for a bit?”

She turned to be, unsure of my motives. “Didn’t we discuss how you walking around in the open effects everypony?”

“Well yes, but could it get much worse?” I replied, trying to reason with her. “Besides, if I walk around inspecting shops, wouldn’t I look a little less suspicious and scary?”

My logic, at that moment, made no sense. It rarely does infact, but I think Trixie let me off, she looked at me, sighed and said “Fine...”

“Thanks Trix!” I chirped happily as I removed the rest of my suit and placed it in the cupboard, then made my way back to the stage and hopped down onto the dusty ground.

Then I began to observe everything with more clarity, the stalls sold a vast array of things. These varied from hand made goods like pottery, jewellery, pocket watches which looked ‘Amazing’ by the way. One stall sold monocles, very ‘spiffing’ if I do say so myself. I even found a stall with top hats, however I decided not to touch anything. If I was being watched, and I’m pretty sure I was by the way, then by showing respect to their things I would hopefully appear to not be a danger to any pony. That was the plan at the time, I passed by the stalls I had seen before and explored further. I walked down the road and could see far into the distance, there were shops, houses, saloons, hotels. They had everything that you would want for the hustle and bustle of city life, I looked around for a cake shop but I think it might have been in another part of town. The area was silent, a sudden breeze picked up and glided through the street kicking dust into my eyes. I recoiled and covered my eyes, trying to clear them and regain my vision.

Suddenly, Trixie shouted from the wagon. “Don’t go too far out! I wouldn’t want you getting lost!”

“It’s ok, I wouldn’t think of it” I shouted back, I’m unsure whether its a fear or not but I still can’t stand not knowing where I am. It can get to the point where I physically feel sick, being that this was a city I knew nothing about I knew would want to stay close to the square.

I wiped my eyes and ventured forth, making sure that I could remember the path I was taking. This city reminded me of Lincoln, how it slopes down a slow but steady inclining road. It wasn’t a sharp one, but it was noticeable. You would get to a certain point and you would be met with a crossroads, leading to more stores. I have to be honest, it was an amazing place and I’m absolutely ruining the setting with my lack of ‘Good’ description. It’s not an easy place to describe, I suppose if I had to compare it I would say think Appleloosa but city sized. Then add semi-detached houses and rows of buildings in very neat lines, I’m explaining myself more than once but it’s to paint the picture in your mind and, like I said, it’s not an easy place to describe...

As I headed down, I could hear the scurrying of hoofsteps behind me, I was being followed. I kept my wits about me and continued onward, another noise was in the distance and it wasn’t hoofsteps that time. I decided to keep a low profile, I could see an alleyway on my left and headed down it, listening keenly for what now sounded like music and machinery. There were doors leading to houses as I made my way down the alley, several metal bins were against the walls, there wasn’t any litter lying around so they were pretty well placed and doing their job. I almost bumped into several ponies, they saw me, gasped loudly and sharply, and bolted. I was seen in the square sure, but this was a city and that meant I wouldn’t be fully noticed until my presence was exposed to the entire population... And I’m not very keen on crowds or speeches. The music was crystal clear now, I got to the end of the alley and peeked around the corner. Two ponies were delivering something, as I observed I figured out that they were newspapers. They were being given to the passers by using some kind of conveyer belt, reminded me of a show I used to watch on TV. I can’t remember what it was about, at the end of the show you had to remember what items passed you by. It always had a cuddly toy, every single time...

“Step right up folks!” A familiar voice shouted clearly and concisely, “ Come and get you news papers right here!”

“Read all about the Princess’s visit to Dodge Junction right here folks!” The same voice said, but it sounded like it was coming from another direction.

And then I figured it out, with their candy cane coloured manes and their blue and white outfits, it was none other than the Flim and Flam brothers. The same duo which helped spark my love for steam punk, they were also the same duo who tried to get AJ to accept 25% of the joint profit. I’m glad they were run out of town, but I was more surprised than anything. Why on earth were they delivering papers? But then my mind clicked and I had a pretty good guess what was going on, if they were working with the pony-media, then there must be plenty of money in it for them. Not to mention they had the means to deliver these papers far and wide, using that nice shiny steam powered wagon they were driving. Attached to the back was the machine which passed the papers around, I thought it was unnecessary but didn’t think any further than that.

Suddenly, one of the bins behind me fell to the ground. I turned around briskly and leaned from side to side to see who it was, but it wasn’t as surprising as I first thought. “Trix?”

Her head popped up from behind the bin and she made her way towards me, “I was worried, I couldn’t just leave you wandering around on your own...” Trixie began to explain, she seemed rather nervous. “Especially if you’ve never been here before...”

I looked at her in the eyes, they were darting all over the place. I’m no expert but I figured something was up, “You uh, ok?” I started, slightly worried for her. “You seem... Troubled?”

“W-what? What would ‘Trixie’ Be worried about?!” She said, referring to herself in the third person.

Now, I got to know her pretty well and by that time I was on day 4. But I learnt this, whenever she really ‘Really’ didn’t want to talk about something, she reverted back to that persona of hers. It mostly happened when on the topic of her past... and parents, but for whatever reasons at the time I had no idea. I had several guesses though, she seemed to refer to them very little and I hadn’t heard a good word about them up to that point. To be honest it made me unnerved to see her so worried that she had to put on an act to avoid any questioning, I knew it was bad... So instead of bombarding her with questions, I did her a favour and changed the subject.

“What’s going on over there?” I asked, trying to change the conversation. “Look’s pretty busy...”

“Huh? Oh, Um...” Trixie replied, initially slightly confused with my question. “... It looks like there passing out newspapers...”

“Huh, so they are...” I replied, pretending to know nothing. “Perhaps I should go and say hi...”

“W-wait, what?!” Trixie spluttered as I strolled into the open and headed towards the brothers, she followed close behind me. “Nick! Stop!”

I put my hands in my pockets and casually made my way to where all the ponies were, when they saw me walking towards them, have a guess what they did? Some ran away as per usual, but others all did the same action as one another. They looked down at their papers, then up at me, they repeated this several times until they understood what I was. As they did this I looked in confusion, well, until Trixie picked one of the newspapers up from the floor and showed it to me. It was the same one we saw on the train, meaning that it mentioned my existence and friendly nature. That fact was a godsend as they then began looking at each other and just observed as I was now right behind the business obsessed brothers.

“So, uh... What’s this thing do?” I asked plainly, trying to get them to turn around asking such a basic question.

“Well let us tell you young colt!” They said together, ready to break into song... Still with their backs to me by the way...

“It’s a Paper-conveyer! Set to hand out papers to the fella’s!” ‘...And mares’

“It’s a basic machine! Doing simple tasks is just too easy you see?” ‘...Too easy you see?’

“It’s a turning point! Imagine what you could do with such a-” ‘...Dear Celestia! What is That!?”

One of them interrupted the other, as they had finally turned around and was witness to me, a tall creature walking on two feet, grinning with such enthusiasm that they had never seen before.

“No please! Carry on!” I said, trying to stop myself laughing as they just stared at me blankly. “I-I’m sorry but that ‘Was’ priceless!” I stumbled to the floor and began laugh out of control, the first song I had heard in this world and I had caused them to stop dead. While we’re on the subject, I have a small confession to make...

You see, when they start to sing on the show, my brain just turns off. It’s a natural instinct, it causes me to mute the song and walk away until it’s over. I should just swallow my pride and bear with it but no, I find it unbelievably uncomfortable and I have to bail immediately. Musicals and shows that burst into song instantaneously are shows that I try to avoid, I still do that now. I have other confessions but they will be explained in time.

I could see the bewilderment in their faces, they were twins and yet their expressions couldn’t have been any more different. I had no idea who was who, I had seen the show but at the time I couldn’t remember. Until they introduced themselves...

“Well, this was unexpected...” The moustache-less brother stated, looking at his brother he shrugged his shoulders and he tipped his hat towards me. “Let us introduce ourselves... My name is Flim!”

“And my name is Flam!” His brother replied, that thing on his face was way bigger in person. I just stared at it thinking, ‘Now, should I ask him how he -? No, no... Don’t be stupid, he’d never tell me... Or would he?’

“I have a question for you Flam, Answer as simply as possible...” I began, leaning forward to emphasise my curiosity. “How did you get that moustache ‘That’ long?!”

He recoiled in sheer shock and then, immediately afterwards, he began to laugh loudly. “Your first question and it’s about my moustache?!” He asked happily, I could see his sides were hurting from all the chucking. “Quite the way to break the ice there young human...”

“Well at least your not all fleeing in fear...” I replied, slowly looking around at the crowd of ponies just staring at me. “... I think I’ve had that happened enough times to me for a lifetime”

Trixie joined us and stood beside me, but what would happen next would be quite surprising. “What are you two doing out here?” Trixie asked the brothers, as if she knew them.

“Ah, if it isn’t ‘The Great and Powerful Trixie!” Flim began to say rather happily, “We go wherever business and bits takes us...”

“Are you looking for more part-time work?” Flam asked with a smile, “If you're short on money we could use some assistance...”

And Just like that my own question had been answered, a freelance entertainer who doesn’t work for money and gives ponies free entertainment, has a part time job to accommodate food and supplies for themselves... To some extent that actually made some sense...

“Huh, you guys know each other?” I asked, curious to how they met. “How’d you wind up crossing paths?”

“Well, I was doing a show in Manehattan...” Trixie began to explain, “When I finished I realised how much money I had left...”

“I’ll never understand why you don’t charge ponies for those shows you do” Flim remarked, “You could make a living doing that...”

“Nah” I uttered in response, “She believes in ‘Free Entertainment’, money isn’t everything... Even the world I’m from has people who think like that... It’s not uncommon...”

“True, but can it put food on the table? Or pay the bills?” Flam quipped, with his business like logic in play. “Money plays an important part in the world, which is why we’re business-mares”

“I can kinda see that...” I stated, eyeing the machine behind them. “Working with the media huh? I’m just glad I’ve not seen a reporter yet...”

I’m not a fan of the media or the newspaper companies, for several reasons in fact...

For starters, it’s not always ‘News’, the majority is just about celebrities and gossip. My point is this, that isn’t news. Things like that should be in a magazine, not in something we buy to know what’s going on in the world, it’s something that boggles my mind. Another reason is when they interview or even write about people, some have absolutely no respect and just twist the story to their will...

Anyway, less of my rambling. Trixie continued with her story, “It just so happened that these two were asking for assistance for a job they were doing...”

“That job involved making fireworks” Flam informed me, kind of surprising but it did explain why she had a large stock in the wagon. “We were preparing for ‘Nightmare Night’, quite a large tradition in this world...”

He went on to explain what this celebration was, I was nodding, pretending to listen to what I was being told. I knew all of this anyway, which is why I’m leaving that part out. Why explain things that we both know right? It’s pointless and it was quite a lengthy conversation anyway, during this time he explained how Trixie helped them out with their work. They needed a magic user for a start, they were assembling the fireworks by hand... Er, hoof. This was due to one of their machines failing and combusting on itself, this set them back and they required some assistance. It just so happened that Trixie was in need of some money, they accepted her help and explained what she had to do. They didn’t want to hire too many ponies, otherwise it would set them back substantially. Anyway, they did the work and paid her for the labour, it was during this time that they were also creating yet another machine. A juicing machine no less... They apparently called it ‘The Super Speedy Cider Squeezy 6000”... Go figure right? They created this machine, tested it out and even used it to sell juice to the ponies they encountered. They did however hit a slight hitch, they didn’t know where they could get a mass amount of fruit for this plan to work.

Now, this part is a going to get rather interesting to some of you. Trixie informed them of a ‘certain’ town which may have had the working material they needed to make it into a successful business, they headed there and... You know the rest... They got what was coming... Just like Trixie. But it wasn’t until I had a go at them that they learned an extremely vital lesson...

“We were so blind and sure of ourselves, we couldn’t even see that the machine wasn’t doing what it was supposed to...” Flam remarked, trying to get some sympathy. “We relied on it too much and worst of all, we eventually broke our machine...”

That ‘last’ part didn’t sit too well with me, “Excuse me?” I said, rather irritated by what had just been said. “You nearly took a family out of business and yet all ‘You’ cared about was your machine?!”

“We’re business mare’s!” Flim quipped at me, “We need to take care of ourselves!”

“Right, but you could have done what you did another way!” I argued, waving my hands around to etherise how much this annoyed me. “I’m no business man, but I did learn a lot about it at school. You could have gone halves and worked with them as a partnership, you could have offered them a better deal which would have been fairer and more reasonable, you could have even moved on to somewhere else, yet instead you tried to take down a small family business for your own personal gain! ... I’m sorry but I’ve got no sympathy for you on that one...”

“Nick!” Trixie barked at me, “Could you calm down just a bit?”

I wasn’t listening, “That’s not business... That’s just being greedy...” I stated plainly, shaking my head with a shameful look. Eventually I calmed down and tried to reason with them, “Instead of trying to take control, try working with others on these business endeavours. Use those machines to help others around you, I promise you it will go a lot smoother... For both you and your brother...”

They were left speechless, all they could do was look at each other and think back to their past years... It turned out that they wasn’t so different from what Trixie was like now...

“I remember when we began creating those machines... It was to help our town...” Flim conveyed, revealing things about his past I never knew at the time. “The economy was so low, there was nothing bringing ponies to our town. So there was no business, no money, it caused some of the townsfolk to move away...”

“I remember the first machine we built...” Flam joined in as this self reflection session was going on, “It was a steam powered mini-wagon, all we did was tricks and jumps. Passers by heard about this and ponies finally came to our town, eventually it became well known and even now it’s still a very successful and busy town...”

I didn’t realise at the time how much they were regretting their actions, I wasn’t even paying attention to the ponies around us. “Just do me and yourselves a favour ok?” I asked them, they looked at me and nodded. “Don’t forget why you started doing what you're doing, greed can blind you quite easily...”

Silence lingered around us, it was pretty awkward.

Trixie however broke this silence, with a simple question no less. “Since when were you such a public speaker?” Trixie asked me, truly surprised by my performance. “You can make a rather good point when you want to can’t you?”

“Well I try...” I replied smugly, I looked at the brothers and could see my words were sinking in, as well as their original goal coming back into their view. It bugged me so I snapped them out of it. “Ugh, just stop it the pair of you...”

They looked up at me, slightly confused as to what I was about to say. “Don’t forget you have a job to do, also don’t forget to help others around you” I began to say, slowly bringing them back to reality. “You could worry about the past but that’s pointless, focus on what’s happening now... What’s done is done, ‘Move On...”

“You’re a very strange creature aren't you?” Flim asked me, I laughed in response. “Why are you laughing?”

I was about to answer but Trixie beat me to it, “That’s exactly what I said...” She informed them, then looked at me with a smile. This of course made me embarrassed and I looked away briskly, scratching my head as I did it. I’m a modest person, I’d also prefer to have the least amount of attention as possible. “He’s not so bad when you get to know him...”

My attention was locked and I wandered off towards the machine that they were using, they had started talking about the last time they had met Trixie, I figured that they could use a group talk or something like that... Well that’s the excuse I used to take a look at what they were carting around, it was basically a conveyer. It looked remarkably similar to the wrapping machine I use at work, all it needed was a heated wire, some plastic wrap and roller bar, which allows the items to roll off the belt, then you would have the potential to make a food wrapping machine. Then again, plastic was a human creation right? Maybe it could carry food down it and then the ponies could wrap them in paper or something, the point I’m trying to get across is that they could have made machines to help businesses. Heck, if they sold a single machine to a business then perhaps word would spread. They could sell them for a fair price and as a result help others around them. They would be making an honest living by doing that, perhaps return to check the machine for maintenance every 3 months or something.

I’m starting to sound like a bad advertisement... Not to mention I’m rambling...

Flam noticed my interest in their machine and began to approach me, “Ah, curious about our gizmos are we?” He asked, acting a lot friendlier than before. “You’ve probably never seen anything like this before have you... You see, It runs off of Stea-”

“Steam?” I interrupted him, looking unsurprised and quite sure of myself. As I spoke, I used hand signals to explain parts I was talking about. “I’m not an engineer but I figured out how it works... Coal powers the engine which pulls the chain, the chain is connected to the belt, this turns and then this ‘doohickey’ knocks the papers onto the conveyer, sending them to the far end...”

“Are these kind of machines widely used in your world?!” Flim asked me with a serious tone, genuinely interested in the world I come from.

“Um, you could say that...” I replied, unsure as to where this was going.

“Tell you what, let’s get a bite to eat and you can explain everything there...” Flam proposed, I was rather happy with this plan for several reasons, the main one being that I could brag about myself and the world I’m from, all whilst getting free food to boot. It was truly the greatest day ever...

They led through the city to a restaurant, it was called The White Colt. Ironic because there's a pub in my town called The White Horse... And  there’s one called The Black Horse... And another called th- You know that? I think I’ll stop and just say that there’s at least five in my town. We were being followed by quite the number of curious ponies. But you know what they say right? Curiosity allowed the pony to meet an awesome human... Ok there isn’t a saying for that kind of situation but it ‘was’ rather different, I was used to being avoided, but at the time I was being followed. Completely the opposite and rather unnerving, I shrugged and carried on like it was nothing new.

As we entered, I could feel everypony's eyes focusing on me with curiosity. Flam turned and looked at me, he could see my concern as I looked around the room. He wasn’t stupid, so he uttered something to the staff at the reception and led us to a table in the corner of the room. It was slightly concealed and out of the way, I gave a sigh of relief and took the seat nearest to the wall. It was a nice place to eat, the atmosphere was amazing. As you entered you were greeted by a reception and then guided to a free table, passing many paintings, statues, plants and even a water fountain on the way. Light music was being played in the background, I recognised the instrument being used straight away, a violin. Before you even ask, No, I have absolutely no idea how ponies are capable of using them without fingers and/or thumbs. Unless it’s a unicorn of course... Then it makes sense...

The walls were painted red, which seemed to glow as the lights around them hit the smooth surface. The oak wood tables were polished and varnished to perfection, they weren't very big but they did the trick. The chairs weren't too bad, soft red cushions and a strong wooden support. Candle lights were set at the tables, best of all was the staff keeping this place going. They came to take our orders, didn’t even see me as unusual, then walked away like I was just one of their normal customers...

Eventually we began our preplanned conversation, Flim was the first to axe me. “So, where did you come from?”

“Wow... Such a polite way to put it...” I remarked, that could have sounded so wrong. Luckily I don’t think they understood the human understanding of ‘Why that sounded so bad’ in the first place. It’s a kids show, a kids world, certain details are avoided at all costs to maintain the child safe environment of which I was standing at that very moment... Or sitting in if I have to be precise. “Well, where do I begin... I come from a town called *Censored*, I’ve lived there my entire life. It’s quiet, calm and rather boring on a day to day basis...”

They listened with such keen ears, my life story isn’t that grand and I didn’t deserve that much attention. “I have a job in a bakery just out of town, it’s a 5 mile journey and takes around 12 minutes to get there-” I was interrupted by Flam, who seemed to think I said something rather off.

“Impossible!” He shouted, making me jump and recoil into my seat. “Such a journey should take much longer!”

“Ok, that was a bit loud...” I replied, signalling for him to keep his voice down. “You're assuming we’re using wagons... We don’t, we use cars...”

“Cars?” Flim questioned, his head reversed in shock. “What in the name of Celestia is a ‘Car’?

This, of course, lead to me, a human with zero understanding of engineering, having to explain what on earth cars were and how they worked. Have you ever been in this kind of position before? I know for a fact that, at that very moment, I was in this very predicament. When it came to certain details I had to ask for a quill and a sheet of paper to attempt to draw what I was talking about. Yet another thing I hadn’t done before was use a quill, how in the name of everything did Shakespeare use the darned thing to write plays?! He must have been a saint as I was struggling to hold it steady let alone write with it, then when it ran out I didn’t know what to do, until I finally realised I needed an ink well... This was the first time I had felt so out of place ‘physically’, I could handle the mental part but everything seemed to keep piling on...

“It’s just occurred to me” Flim began to wonder, scratching his head slightly in confusion. “How do you know how to speak like us?”

“I’m sorry?” I replied in a confused manner, literally having no idea what he meant. “Care to re-literate?”

“You can speak our language...” Flam re-explained, “How did you learn it so fast?”

“Actually...” Trixie spoke up, slowly understanding what was being explained. “He’s been talking like that since I brought him here...”

The brothers gasped for two reasons, One was that Trixie just admitted she brought me into this world and Two, that I had been speaking their language the very moment I stepped into their world. This, my friends, would turn out to be a very long conversation... It started with the initial reaction, you know, being shouted at by the brothers at roughly the same time...

“You brought him here?” Flim shouted ecstatically, “How in Equestria did you do that?!”

“How is that even possible?” Flam remarked sharply, “You can’t have learnt our language that fast!”

I looked at Trixie and shook my head and widened my eyes, trying to signal that this could take a while to explain. Then me and Trixie looked at the corresponding brothers to aim our answers towards, this was about to get confusing...

“I used some kind of magic scroll I... ‘Acquired” Trixie began to explain to Flim, leaving out certain details which would have looked and sounded really bad. “It was a summoning spell, specifically one aimed at another world...”

“It’s possible because I’m speaking English” I replied to Flam, his head tilted the very second I used that word. “”In fact ‘your’ speaking English right now... We ‘All’ are...”

The brothers slammed their hooves into the table and shouted in complete harmony, “That’s Preposterous! Impossible and Ridiculous!”

I took one look at Trixie and then looked back at the pair of them, I don’t even know how we managed but we gave the exact same response in perfect sync. “No, it’s True, Possible and Quite Believable...”

“But could we talk one at a time please!” I said as I buried my head into my hands, showing my gradual confusion as the conversation crisscrossed back and forth. “Trix, do you want to start?”

“Of course...” Trixie replied happily, understanding the situation completely. “I used a strange scroll in Appleloosa with specific instructions on summoning what it wrote as a ‘Human’, It created a large purple portal in the air and about five minutes after it opened, this strange creature before you appeared”.

“Before you ask, I’ll explain from my point of view...” I started, knowing full well that they would like to know how I managed to end up on this end. “I was preparing to see an old buddy of mine, I was grabbing my jacket out of the cupboard. As I removed it I could see a strange swirling purple circle on the wall, stupidly I touched it and it began to drag me in... I fell from a few meters from the air onto my back on a stage and found myself in this world...”

“... Amazing...” Flim said, completely flabbergasted by the events being told to him and his brother. “So when did she teach you to talk?”

I turned my head towards him and mime' d the phrase, ‘You what?’ I was slightly insulted, it sounded like I was her pet or something, which we established at the very beginning of this relationship/friendship that I wasn’t one.

“I didn’t...” Trixie uttered, confusing both herself and F&F. Yes, that’s my new terminology when talking about these two together. Saying the word ‘Brothers’ over and over again is quite tedious, so this shall suffice. “Wait, what did you say we were all speaking?”

“What? English?” I replied, saying it so casually sounded so wrong to them. “I’ve already said, it’s the language were all speaking now...”

“No, right now ‘We’re’ speaking the pony language” Flam informed me... Incorrectly by the way...

“Which is English“ I quipped back at him, “I’m not arguing, I know that what I’m speaking now is English, besides if ‘I’m’ speaking English and ‘You’re’ speaking pony, then surely that means that they are the same thing no?”

Our argument was interrupted as the waitress arrived and brought us our meals, Trixie got some kind of salad, F&F got a vegetable lasagna, as for me I got yet another vegetable curry. It’s something that I’ll eat in their world, ever tried eating hay or anything like that? I tried once and I nearly hurled, it’s disgusting and yet they seemed to love it... The waitress bowed and walked away, continuing her work as she was doing. We ate our meals, which kept us quiet by the way. It gave me a chance to go over a couple of things in my head. I couldn’t possibly tell them the reality of the situation could I? I couldn’t have said ‘Oh, and by the way guys, we created your world as fiction which is why you're speaking my language...’ Come to think of it, doesn’t that mean that I’m technically older than their world? I mean I’m 21 now but back when this happened I was around 20... The show is barely 2 years old I think... Then again does that mean I have to take the other MLP generations into account? I’ve lost my trail of thought, what I mean is that explaining that we created their world for entertainments sake would be impossible, for a start I’d have to begin by saying its a TV show, which leads to yet more questions like ‘What’s a TV?’ Then ‘How did you get that into the TV?’. Beginning and ending this conversation would have been impossible, period. Which is why I decided to keep quiet the entire time I was there... Up to a certain point anyway...

“I suppose it doesn’t matter that much...” Trixie concluded, slowly munching on a piece of lettuce. “Besides, Nick can’t stay here forever...”

“What do you mean?” Flam questioned Trixie, curious as to what she meant. “Do you even know how to get him back?”

“Not really, but our last stop is Canterlot” I interrupted, adding to the conversation. “I was hoping the Princess of these lands could help me out...”

“What do you mean ‘Help you out?” Flim questioned, “She’s of royal blood, why would the princess help you?”

I couldn’t really answer, I just kind of shrugged my shoulders. Eventually I spoke up... “Because I’m such a charming ‘fellah’, come on, what other choices do I have?”

“He has a point brother, if anyone could help him its the princess...” Flam added as he took a big mouthful of lasagna.

Then it happened, that moment I thought I would never had because I take all of the precautionary steps to avoid it at all costs. I was eating in a restaurant and I had no money... None... When I realised this I had to stop eating as I began to panic slightly...

“Um, Flam or Flim?” I began, quizzing both of them, hoping that I would get an answer from  either of them which would make me feel better. “... I... I don’t have any money, how am I supposed to pay for myself?”

“I needn't worry about that Nick” Flim reassured, taking out a small pouch from his shirt, then placing it on the table in front of us. “We’ll be more than happy to pay so don’t worry...”

I sighed with relief, I brought my hands together, bowed my head and prayed. “Thank you kind Sir!” I then resumed in eating like the human I am and I cleared my plate. It was delicious, it was the equivalent of a korma... And I love a good korma... Eventually we all finished our meals and we were well and truly stuffed, F&F paid for the meal and Trixie left some money for the tip. We got up, thanked the staff, and wandered outside. I observed the ponies around me and could still sense some uncertainty, that was until a young filly, who was hiding behind her carer, waved her hoof at me. I waved back with a smile but didn’t get an immediate response. Instead, the parent saw this and dragged the filly away. Just before they left, I saw the filly smile and wave back at me. This made me smile, it wasn’t like the fear I had witnessed a second earlier. In fact it disappeared in those short moments, I didn’t feel like a scary creature anymore... I felt normal...

This made me feel like a million bits! I looked up at the sky, it was past midday, I think it would have been around 2 or maybe 3pm at the time. We walked all the way back to Trixie’s wagon, Flam was talking to her about something but I wasn’t sure what it was about. Whatever it was it looked serious, I think Flim could see this as so decided to take the lead and show me something he thought I hadn’t seen before.

“I’ve got an idea, Flam, you head back with Trixie. I’m going to show Nick around the city...” Flim announced, it sounded like a good idea to me at the time. “C’mon, lets walk...”

“Um, sure” I replied, unknowing as to what he was planning. We began to walk back down the inclining hill, passing many different buildings as we ventured onwards. But Flim wasn’t saying anything, he said he was going to show me around and yet he hadn’t spoken a word. “So, where we heading?”

“Well, I figured you’d want a break from being the center of attention” Flim explained, we walked deeper into the outskirts until we came to a clearing. Now heading towards something in the distance. It looked like a circus tent, “So I thought I’d show you some pony world entertainment...”

“Uh huh...” I muttered in response, wishing I was now walking the other way. “I get the feeling that your brother knows Trixie a little better than you, what were they talking about?”

“I’ve got no idea, perhaps they have something in common...” Flim answered, unsure of the details himself. “All I know is that they talked quite a lot whilst they were working... I think she mentioned her parents at some point...”

As we got closer I slowly regretted not running away and screaming like a child on the way to the dentist, let me explain...

Me and Circuses don’t get along well, you see when I was a kid my parents took me to a circus when I was about 6 years old. We were sitting in the middle row and my parents were enjoying the show so far, as for me I was rather cautious. Clowns look like pretty sinister creatures, suddenly, one of the clowns came right up to my face and I swear on my life I was the most terrifying thing I have seen in my entire life thus far... Well, that and a certain character from the old windows 98 PC game, Lego island... But that doesn’t matter right now... It’s fuelled my fear of circuses, carnivals, performers, heck there's a list but mainly its just clowns... Male clowns to be precise, no idea why but female clowns seem rather cute to me...

Wait... Why am I even telling you any of this?!

“Here we are!” Flim announced, slowly turning around he could see the look on my face, one of uncertainty and worry. “”Are you ok?”

“... Peachy...” I replied, having terrifying thoughts of the last time I came so close to a circus. It sent shivers down my spine, but I decided to try and get past this problem by facing my own fears. “Ok, lets go...”

As we came closer to the tent, I noticed posters, flyers and signposts of a certain duo being right here in Trottingham. I took the poster off the wall it was stuck to and read it out aloud, at the time it didn’t mean anything much...

‘Come one and come all, see the magnificent Lunamoon Duo perform for your amusement and entertainment. Tickets cost 10 bits per pony, fillies get to watch for 3!’

‘Lunamoon?’ I thought to myself, ‘Why on earth is that last name familiar?’

I put the poster in my pocket and carried on walking... Suddenly, Flim started talking to himself, eventually it became an outside voice and then informed me of what he was thinking. “Darn, I forgot all about the wagon me and my brother use. I should get back and make sure everything is secure...” He began, then taking out his pouch and counting he passed me 10 bits. “Here, go and watch the show, I’ll be back later...”

He then ran off and left me there, alone...

For a moment I just kind of stood there, not moving, unsure as to how I should react... After several minutes I shrugged my shoulders and just started roaming around the area, it wasn’t just a circus tent as I eventually found out. There was an entire area set out like some kind of carnival, there were carnival folk ponies with their own stalls and games scattered around. Candied apples, cotton candy, sweets, cakes, a dunk bucket, they had the whole shebang.

“You look lost” A random voice said behind me, I turned around as was witness to quite a strange looking pony. It was a colt, he wore a top hat, a cape and what appeared to be half a mask. Pure white with a hole for the eye, it was rather creepy and yet strangely familiar... “C’mon, I’ll show you around...”

He started pushing me towards one of the larger tents, I wanted to decline his offer but he was persistent “W-what? Um, no that’s fine, I’m just browsing around...”

“I insist...” He said rather wickedly, whatever his intentions I wasn’t so sure I could trust him. We entered the tent, gigantic in size on the outside. On the inside it was pitch black, apart from the center of the room being lit up, with one chair standing in the light.

“I really should get going-” I tried to explain but he pushed me onwards.

“It’s ok, please take a seat...” He asked, pointing his hoof towards the empty chair. I reluctantly sat down as he circled and then stood opposite to me, “I’ve been hearing about your endeavours in this world ‘Human’, it sounds like you’ve been having quite the adventure...”

“You could say that...” I replied, trying to view my surroundings to view what was in the darkness. I couldn’t hear anything except the eerie sound of something tapping a metal surface. “I can’t stay forever though, I need to get back home...”

“You’ve been assisting a certain ‘Show Pony’ with their show haven’t you...” He began to say, his motives still completely unknown to me. “You could be doing so much more than helping a filly who works for free, you could make a fortune...”

“Like I said, I can’t stay forever... In fact, I’ve got to head home tomorrow.” I stated clearly, hoping that this guy would stop with the questions already.

“It’s such a shame, you could have been famous... Made a fortune... Just like me...” He stated, then he slowly walked away from where I was. “Instead, I guess you’ll have to be part of the show...”

“Excuse me?” I questioned, it sounded more like it was going to happen against my will. “What on earth do you mean by that?-”

I was interrupted by the sound of something falling and slamming down around me, it almost gave me a heart attack. I quickly walked towards the entrance I had come through but I walked face first into a metal bar. I quickly found out that these bars were surrounding me, this wasn’t good at all, it was a trap...

“And now you’re just another part of my collection...” He shouted, the lights came on and my horrors had been realised. I was in a cage, next to other cages with strange and wondrous creatures around me. They varied from Lions, bears, dogs, sea serpents... It wasn’t looking good...

“You can’t do this!” I shouted back at him, clinging onto the bars with fear and anger. “I don’t belong here! I need to get home!”

“I’m afraid you’re a little late deciding that aren't you?” He said, quite cock sure of himself. “You could have headed home the very second you arrived but instead stayed for your own selfish reasons, why else are you here?”

I didn’t answer... He was right after all... All I could do was sit in my chair as this strange colt exited the tent, I took out the poster that I stashed away in my pocket and looked at the picture of the ‘Duo’ again... The same colt who had just captured me was none other than Mr Lunamoon himself, the same pony who was making a killing as a performer.

I looked around me and directly to my left was a cage... With a lion in it... I was both irritated and worried, times like this I tend to try and bury it under the rug with stupidity. I turned to the lion, it was just sitting there watching me, “So... What are you in for?” I asked rhetorically, knowing full well that I wouldn’t get an answer...

“Same reason you're here” The lion said back to me... Yeah, I know right?

I immediately freaked out and recoiled in such a way that I fell backwards off my chair in complete and absolute shock. I pointed towards the lion with my shaking hand and shouted, “Holy Crap! You can Talk!?”

I can honestly say that I didn’t expect that...