But I don't wanna eat horse food!

The sky was dark when Teddy awoke from his 3 hour nap.  After getting some water from the bathroom sink, and relieving one's bladder.  He slowly opened the door and poked his head out into the hall way, he saw the backs of two guards outside his door, as well as the pony that guided him there to begin with

he lightly coughed "Excuse me, I was wondering if one of you could show me around the kitchen?  There are some things I need to know that it might answer"

The guard ponies looked a bit bewildered by his appearance and his unusual request while the guide simply answered "I am afraid I cannot do that at this time, you see they are currently preparing breakfast for Princess Luna.  Worry not, she is aware of your presence"

".....Fine... I'll wait, but why is Princess Luna having breakfast now?  I thought I was the only one who didn't care what time of day I had which meal"

"Because she is the Princess of the Night, she watches over the kingdom while it sleeps"

"Ah, so she got stuck with guard duty, I bet these guys can relate"

At that the guards stumbled in maintaining their posture for a brief moment while the servant simply looked at Teddy in shock.  After he recovered he scolded him "You would do well to mind your tongue when speaking of the Princesses"  To this Teddy rolled his eyes

"Look, I don't know Luna, and the other one seems really nice, but remember that they are not my Princesses.  Anyway," he paused as he stretched his arms up, making several popping sounds while he yawned "when will the kitchen be free?"

"Regardless you must treat them with the utmost respect!  And it should be free in twenty minutes or so"

"Great, in the meantime I'll go say 'hi' to Luna, don't worry I think I remember the way" with that he began walking away

"Wait!!!  You can't just barge in on the Princess in the middle of breakfast!" said the servant as he trotted to keep up with the long strides of the human

Stopping he looked down "Oh?  Why not?  I appeared out of thin air in the middle of whatever Celestia was doing without so much as knocking, how could this be worse?"  Still need to ask about that part

"Well, for starters that was at the end of her royal duties, whereas this is the beginning of her sister's"

"Bah, fine I'll just wait"

And so he waited, and waited "I'm bored!  How long has it been?"

"Five minutes"

"FIVE MINUTES?!  It feels like it's been five hours!"

"Kidding, it is time, I will show you to the kitchen now"

The kitchen was about what he expected, he was looking for a few things in particular however, he came to a stove top that appeared to be electric, but he had to be certain.

"What does this machine use as a source of power?"

At that question the servant gave him a curious look that said "You wanted to come here so badly to ask such a simple question?" "Magic of course, what else could it be?"

"So you are saying that I can't use this because I don't have magic?"

"Hm?  Oh no no no, it is enchanted, there is a large gemstone that sends power into the coils here, that causes them to heat up"

"Interesting... where are the ingredients used for cooking?  I need to do a quick check for what I need"

Another confused look from the servant before he pointed towards a closet with a refrigerator next to it

"Let's see... fridge first, eggs? Nice.  Butter?  Awesome.  Milk?  Obviously" He then moved over to the closet "Alright, the fridge looks good now for the other part.  Flour, sugar, salt, baking powder, and where is it.... YES vegetable oil!  Oooo potatoes, now that gives me an idea for later."  With that he turned around to a very perplexed horn pony "Thank you sir, now am I allowed to use the kitchen?"

This made the servant nervous "Err... well... I suppose you are... but are you sure that is a good idea?"

"Oh yes, and if it works, I think you are going to love this, but first let me see if I can find a pot, a potato peeler, a sharp knife, and a strainer"

"I shall procure the items for you" The kitchen staff is not going to be happy with me

"Excellent!" he said as he grabbed the whole container of oil and several large potatos

For some time now there was another observing the scene with great curiosity

"Here are the items you requested, but I must ask if you would be so kind as to inform me of what you are making?  Potatoes and vegetable oil seems like an awful idea"

"Thank you sir, and if I told you it would ruin the surprise!" with that set about peeling his potatoes.  When he finished he began slicing them into thin straw-like pieces and placing them on a paper towel, there easily a hundred of them.  Then to further confuse his observers he took another paper towel and started to dry them before placing them in the refrigerator.  "Alright, that part is done, while I wait for those to cool down I should begin the next part, and clean up this mess"

"What are you even... what are you preparing?"

"I told you already, it's a surprise!  Though these won't be as good as the ones back home, I have high hopes, don't worry I'm making enough to share.  Now do me a favor and put that burner on for whatever temperature is used to cook a cake"

Moving to do as requested the servant responded "I don't know if I want any of whatever madness you are cooking up" gesturing to the stove controls "you use this to adjust the temperature of the burner"

"Thank you good sir, now for the fun part" Teddy filled the pot with oil, leaving about 2 inches of space from the surface "OH! i need something to stir so I don't burn the oil"  He was then handed a stirring stick and began to stir until the oil started bubble a bit, then he turned down the burner a small amount before turning to the fridge again and pulling out his potato sticks, he dried them off some more and then put half of them into the strainer.  And then, dunked it into the oil.  It began to bubble violently.  "Right, gotta go get the salt and something to put them in, got a bowl?"  he asked as he ran to grab the salt

"Yes yes here, I don't care anymore" he was given the requested item

He laid a paper towel in the bowl, and by then he had timed roughly two minutes since dunk time, he pulled them out and gave it quick look before dunking them back in.  He waited about 20 more seconds before pulling them out again and then dumping the contents into the bowl, he quickly loaded the strainer with the other half and dunked it.  With a quick motion he dusted the pile with salt, waited a moment.

And then... with all eyes watching him... he took one and ate it...

"mmmm... it's not McDonald's, but it isn't bad.  I give it a 5/10, probably need to dry the potatoes better next time, maybe I can figure out how to freeze dry stuff"

The unicorn was just standing there stunned for the time that it took the second batch to finish and the stove to be turned off before he spoke "What... ARE those?"

it was at that time that their secret observer made herself known.  She was tall, dark blue, and had a flowing blue mane "Yes, we too would like to know what it is our guest has cooked up.  It smells unlike anything we have had before."

With that the unicorn turned around and started stuttering and sputtering "P-p-princess Luna!  I was told to help him and to try to accommodate his needs, and he insisted on cooking after he looked through our kitchen, please have mercy on me!"

"Fret not, for we are not upset with thee.  Had we been we would have stepped in and stopped this as it began, we were watching the entire time"

"So you are Princess Luna, I'm Teddy as I'm sure you've heard.  As for the food, from where I live these are called 'Fries,' though they aren't the best they will do in a pinch.  Of course you are free to try some"  he then started to eat a couple more

Luna trotted over with a small smile on her face before the unicorn made his protest "But Princess, are you sure you would like to try something so... so... alien?"

Luna merely laughed at his concern "Where art your sense of adventure young one?  We will be fine"  and with that she levitated up a fry, taking a good look at it and a sniff.  Then she popped it into her mouth.  And then her eyes bulged, and then in went another, and another, and another...

Seeing this, the unicorn trotted over and hesitantly tried one for himself, and had a very similar reaction.

Seeing this Teddy couldn't help but burst in to laughter

"Pray tell what you find so humorous?  You hath created the heavens using potatoes"

"If you keep eating those like that, you are probably going to get fat"

Luna gave him a flat sidelong glance "I can stop when I want to"