The Detective Who Likes To Watch Rainbows

“I don’t get it, Spike,” my pegasus companion says; “aren’t you hero types supposed to stick together?”

I laugh as I walk past him, taking a bite out of my apple. “Hero? Heck, I barely cover the detective field.”

“Still doesn’t explain why you aren’t down there.”

“Politics. Besides, seeing their happy from up here… that’s more than enough for me.”

“Eh,” he groans, “something still seems effy about it. I mean, you go through all this effort, deal with the Royal Guard pestering you, get into and fight, and then shot by canon from your own side, and you don’t get any reward at all?”

“The knowledge of this case may be useful for another, so it isn’t a waste. Plus, it was a good distraction.”

“Which reminds me,” he turns to look at me, “you down to smoke a blunt?”

I look into my apple and sigh into it. Taking a bite, I toss the apple over my shoulder. “Why not? Not like I got anything else to do.”

We leave the rooftop and head back to the hotel.

There’s a limp in my step, as we enter the elevator. We go up, and my companion takes off his hood, displaying his black mane. I swear he smoked on the way here because his eyes are already baked.

We reach our floor, and I can already tell the mates in room 709 are having sex. A bad breakup in 708, and a pony jerking it in 704. But most can come to that conclusion, as his dance moves shake the floor.

I pause in front of room 706. I know she’s not in there, but part me wishes Rainbow Dash was laying on that bed. Heh, mane covering her left eye as she lies there. That would be really cute.

I shake my head and unlock the door to my room, entering and tossing my coat to the bed. At least Celestia covered for the cost of my coat and shirt. Heck, mom looked ready to give an entire closets worth.

Heh. I guess I do wear the same stuff too much.

My ‘guest’ walks in and I’m reminded of why we’re here. So I head over to the kitchen and swoop down to the cubert.

I’ll montoir your drug use from here on out, kapeesh?

I open the cabinet and my companion is all too eager to grab a hooful. I grab the rest and we walk into the next room over.

I don’t even know where he got the bong from, but he’s lighting up like no tomorrow. The bong is unevenly tilted due to muscle damage in his left hoof. Which I imagine comes from an outrage or teaching some customers a lesson. Either way, he clears the bong like a pro, blowing the smoke out the window.

He passes me the bong. Should I really be doing this? What’s the point? My body's tired and I don’t feel like it. Yet I light the match and inhale the whole thing. I blow the smoke out from my lungs, and I feel lighter, but not good.

I pass the bong back over. “Say, B?”

“Hm?”

He looks away for a moment, tilting his head left and right. “Yeah, well, only my first name.”

“Ah.”

B starts to fill the bong.

“Hey,” I say again, “you ever like a girl before?”

He pauses his lips before the bong. “What kinda question is that?”

“A weird one, so you know it's from me.”

“Heh. Then, yeah. I mean, I haven’t loved a girl in a while, but diffently liked a girl before.” He clears the bong and passes it to me.

“What’s the difference between the two?” I start to load the bong.

“Well, when you like a girl, then you got a month before that stops. I’ve had tons of hoes around these blocks, and we hang and chill and smoke a blunt. Talk about ourselves and life, then we grow bored, and look for other ponies.”

“And love?” I light a fire.

“That’s the stuff the comes after the month. If you two are still together, then you got some good stuff going on. Them nice girls from outta town always stay with me longest, someone of them actually make my heart skip a beat. But alas! no one sticks with a druggie.”

“Hmm.” I inhale the smoke once again. Holding it, feeling it flow within my lungs, I exhale. Passing the bong once more.

“I get you. It’s kinda like… you care for each other. Once you get over the sexual stuff and learn more about each other, you kinda look forward to the stuff you’ll do. Having someone by your side to talk to, or even hug. Just not being alone, I guess.”

“You got a girl on your mind, Spike?”

“Mm,” I squint my eyes, “not really. I don’t have friends – but this girl on my mind, she came really close to being one.”

“Ah,” B says. “Dragon girl or pony girl?”

“Pony.”

“He-he-ey!” B cheers with a laugh. “My boy growing into a proper dragon?”

“Not at all,” I say, then nod to the bong. “Hurry up with that.”

“Right,” he says, and hits it like it were a block. He coughs, some smoke escaping, then exhales it all. He passes it back to me. “So, you going to go for it?”

“Nah,” I say. “You know me, and you know I like to be alone. Besides, I think she’s going to have an issue with me smoking.”

I go to fill the bong, but a black hoof stops me. “Which reminds me, Spike. I’m not sure you know this, but your customer that I hang with. Heck, you’re the only pony or dragon I do hang out with. Always paying your stuff back on time, real chill to talk to.”

He gives a little laugh, looking down on his hoof over my claw. “I’m kinda like you, a drifter. Everyone looks the same to me and doing the same stupid stuff. But you Spike, you’re different, that’s like ‘ya. Even if you have no friends, I still consider you one.”

I choke something back, as my chest feels weird. B is the only pony I hang out with often, not talking about a personal problems, but just chilling. He should be the type of pony you call an acquaintances, yet he’s the closest male that’s come to be my friend.

“You being a dragon has no affect on me, if anything, I gotta supply you with more to get you high! Heh, I guess the relates to my next question.” He looks up at me, with the slight tilt of the head, along with lips trying to smile, but fall close to becoming a frown. “But, I’ve got question to ask.”

“Shoot.”

“Why the heck are you messing with this stuff?” he asks.

“That’s a bad business question.”

“Spike,” he tries once more, a little more strain on his voice, “you’re mind is like no other. You remember almost everything you see, and you can tell who's served in the army by the look of their face alone. Solving cases, surviving on bare minimal. Your youth saves you from your mistakes, but don’t you ever think of the future my drag?”

“Not really. The past flows to me, the present happens. But the future is empty, nothing really to look forward to there.”

“So aren’t you wasting your life then?”

“I’ve never really value life. I just live to live, doing my best not to be bored.”

“What does that princess sister think of you? Or heck, you’re mom, Princess of all the land.”

“Decently I hope. Twilight and I used to be close. Reading stories under the sheets, trying to figure out who ate the last cookie. Heck, just talking about the world and what we wanted be so. I once truly consider her a sister, that was, until she came back one day,  telling me she was moving into some town.”

I give a little laugh, as the memory plays clearly from my mind’s eye. “She begged for me to go along. We had a bit of a dispute, arguing that you only need one close friend, not multiple ones. The idea of so many ponies has friends just frustrated the hell out of me!”

I sigh and continue on.

“It takes only one friend to discuss the world with, but she argued that it wasn’t possible. Multiple friends bring out the magic of friendship. Blah! Don’t make me hurl. So, that was it, her and I were destined to take different paths.”

“Sound rough,” he says. “How did it end?”

“With her leaving for good, and I vowing to live the rest of my life in solitude. It was a bet in a way, whoever lived the better life won.”

B chuckles. “Ah, so she won then?”

“No,” I fix him a brow, “my just life without fine without friends.”

“Riiight. So, you don’t like ponies having friends?”

“Ponies can have friends,” I say, “I just don’t get involved. Friendship doesn’t seem like my kind of thing, but solving cases is.” The problem is that they’re all so boring. This case was the biggest one I’ve tackled so far, and I hardly did a thing. Kinda hate Jim for that.

“As well as smoking, injecting, and kinds of harmful stuff. You know, Spike, that if I could even read, I would stop doing all of this.”

I remove his hoof and stuff the bong. “Then learn how to.” I take the hit, and the world feels lighter. The walls fading in and out.

“Look at me,” he says and I comply. Black pegasus wearing a white hoodie, a mane looking like he came out of a wind tunnel;  nothing too special to note, but a chill dude to chill with. “Who’d teach me?”

“I would,” I say. “And when the time comes for me to go, you can take my place. Solve mysteries and actually be praised for it, heck, you may even become a hero and get to go to special little parties.”

“Hurray!” he says. He takes the bong and takes a hit. We don’t talk much after that. We just smoke the world out from our heads.

Ah, buggers. I don’t recall passing out. The world became dim, until I couldn't see anything anymore. Since when did I become a light-weight?

Eh, the world’s slowly loading back to me. My eyes adjusting, I want to vomit. The ringing in my head does nothing to ail that feeling.

I had been walking through a frozen forest, relived some of my childhood, and then got murdered by my mother and thought about how she would hide the body.

I don’t even recall B leaving, though it looks like I’m alone in here.Looking at my wrist, my eyes shoot past it to the needle on the floor. Heck, so much for the lightway title; I must of used the entire dose. B would never had let that happen, so he must of left a little earlier. Feather… had I been a pony, I would’ve been dead by a heart attack.

I wonder if I have anymore of it in the cabinet?

As I go to get up, I realize I’m not alone.

“I see the call for bad habits as returned, brother mine.”

I sigh and rub my head. “Twilight, what are you doing here? How did you find– oh wait, I forgot! You pretty much run the government. And, that you know everything about everyone.”

“Not this time, Spike.” She gets off from her seat and sits before me. “Sisterly concern brought me to you, and for a good reason. Didn’t we discuss overdoses?”

“Find me a case or something that’ll stimulate the mind in the same way, and I’ll stop. But I’ve already solved that last case you sent me and now the whole world is a peace. “I lay down on the ground. “Yippy!”

“Sent you?” Twilight moves her lips left. “I did no such thing this time.”

“Why of course you did. You sent Dash a letter to come find me.”

Twilight squints her left eyes as her mind is as work. “I sent everyone a letter saying to keep calm, do you mean that one?”

“No,” I say, sitting back up, “the letter that asks Rainbow to come fetch me. It bore your exact hoof writing and seal.”

Twilight’s eyes widen. “What happen to the letter?”

“I burned it, as we always do.”

“Spike,” Twilight says, coming closer towards me. “I never sent a letter. I had no intention of you getting involved in this case, but were glad when you were here.”

I place a claw on my upper lip. “This doesn’t make sense…”

“Spike, please, do you remember what the letter said?”

Of course I did, and recited word for word. Twilight eyes grew and grew, until they were wide as could be. “No. No!” She stepped back. “There is a plot that we have missed.”

I sigh. “The case is solved, Sister mine. Surely I can leave this matter in your hoof as I take my time off?”

“Spike,” she says with the shake of the head, “you don’t understand: Rainbow Dash is missing.”

“Missing! For how long?”

“Two days,” Twilight says. “She was supposed to ride the train home that night with us, but she never showed. We assume she was staying another night with you, but yesterday we got no mail. No one has seen her for two days, Spike.”

I cover the right of my face with a claw; I understand now Twilight was watching over me. I’d overdose and been out for two days! Ahh, I gotta lay of this stuff. My left eye wanders to the writing on my window.

“Twilight, you’ve only been watching me sleep, right?”

“Only to make sure you don’t vomit in your sleep.”

And then everything made sense.

“This case, is wasn’t about the Elements or even the bearers. Not about the bits or even a piece of art. This entire case has been about me.”

“Spike, what are you…” she looks to where I’m looking, her jaw drops.

IOU1

Hope you enjoyed the extra ‘tip’

Please don’t make me wait.

At that place that makes Apples.

For a new apple is coming!

One that taste like the Rainbow.

with a Dash of salt!

–J.M.

“Looks like keeping me out of the papers didn’t do much good,” I say. “IT looks like I have a fan who wants to play.”

Twilight looks to me. “Spike. Whoever is doing this, has gone through extraordinary lengths to get to you, which suggest?”

“Criminal intent.”

“Which also suggests?”

I breath and close my eyes. “Murder.”

“Whoever is doing this knows of your existence, their access to the castle also means access to knowledge about you. Your cases and your being.”

“Which reminds me—”

“You know Princess Celestia doesn't have complete control over the land. Our system isn’t as clean as ponies think it is. You know better than this. But by finding out who this is, then we can purge him.”

“He may even be out for your power, Spike.”

I look away and groan. A frown creeps up on my lips. “I doubt it. If he wanted it, he could have had it easily. No, I think this gentlecolt is different, in that, he and I may be… alike, in a way.”

“What’s your reasoning?”

“He left the Elements in poor hooves and no attempts to take them back. Instead, he takes Dash, the one mare I’ve grown closer to next to you.” I cast Twilight a glare before she can comment. “So he wants me. But, if it was for power, he would already have me. No, he wants are a reason for me to come and sit down.”

“Someone really wants to meet you then,” Twilight says, looking away.

“Perhaps he’s as bored as I am,” I say as I get up. Throwing on the jacket, I give Twilight a smile. “Don’t worry, I’ll go get your friend back.”

Twilight raises up onto two hooves and comes towards me. I’m confused until two hooves circle around me. It’s been awhile since we’ve last hugged. “I want you to come back as well. No hero stuff, Spike.”

I attempt to look away, but she brings my face back. “Please Spike. Even if you don’t mind the pain, it still kills me to see you hurt. Your loss would break my heart.” Twilight begging at this point, and I’ve never seen her do that before.

I’m touched, and arms hug her without a command. I go to say something smart and heroic. “Thank you, Twilight.” I hug harder. Baff!

“And, if it worth and consolation, you right about our bet.”

So much for sounding smart and being right. I end the hug and stumble to the door, almost walking into it. My high isn’t quite over, as a magical aura unlocks the door. I flash Twilight a guilty smile as I proceed out and head into the elevator.

I mull over the events.

So Jim was there to see me eating an apple. Could he have also been at the party? Bah, irrelevant. For now, I gotta find Rainbow Dash. I’m just lucky that case about the poisoning in the apple factory is finally going to be of some assistance.

I leave the hotel in search of the missing mare.

It doesn’t take me long to get to the Apply Factory with the boarded up windows. I stop at the entrance and look around me, no signs of being followed. The place is coated with dust, so at a glance, you would assume no one has been here for quite some time.

I kick the door off the hinges, sending it flying. I duck under the doorway and enter the factory, where only the broken glass of the ceiling allows light to shine. I walk forward, everything looking as it should.

Then I came to the center of the stage. Looking around, I lick my lips and wait.

My eyes are blinded by a light, two of them in fact, as I step back and raise a claw.

“Thought you might’ve knocked, as it’s the polite thing to do,” a voice says, but the words sail from his lips, as if he were singing them. “Ohh well! I suppose I shouldn’t expect manners from a dragon.”

“I’m sorry,” I say, looking up at my host, “but griffons aren’t the nicest bunch either. I thought you and I could just be ourselves here.

A griffon with the whitest, most beautiful feathers, looks down at me. He smirks and closes his eyes. “I guess you and I are alike in that way, Spike. D.”

“I guess we are, Jim.”

“Please please please! The name is Jim...