The Perfect Job

It felt harder to move his paw than when he had been imprisoned in stone. Asking help from Princess - he sneered even as he thought the term - Twilight Sparkle? Was this really what his life had come to?

He snapped out of it instantly. I'm reformed now, remember? I have my freedom, and a lovely mare to share it with. Before he could delay it any longer, Discord's paw jutted out to ring the doorbell.

Twilight soon emerged from the Castle of Friendship, wearing an expression as aghast as when she had first seen him outside of the royal garden maze. "Uh, hey, Discord," she said awkwardly, clearly remembering the incident when Rainbow jumped to conclusions at the library. "What brings you here?"

"Hello, Twilight! If you don't mind, I was wondering if you could" - Discord gagged internally - "possibly help me with something?"

Twilight attempted to turn her bizarre expression into a look of professionalism, but the effort just made it all the more (for lack of a better word) chaotic. Discord chuckled.

"Um, sure! Come on in; let's go to the study."

Discord's cheesy grin of welcome widened, even though Twilight wasn't looking. Her reaction to this, he assured himself, would make it all worthwhile.

***

"So, what do you want me to do?" asked Twilight once they got to the study.

"Well," said Discord, pulling out of his ear a materializing glass.

She groaned. "Please don't tell me we're going where I think we're going with this."

"Glass of water? No. Musical number? Not yet." The draconequus' features twisted into a mockingly mischievous smile. "But anyways, I've been looking through a book I found at the library yesterday. I was reading it in my thinking tree - that's where I do all my really deep thinking - and I said to myself, I said, 'Discord, this book may do wonders to occupy the pony readers, but they never seem to get bored much anyway. What are they doing differently from the King of Chaos in order to pass the time?' Then it hit me: you guys have jobs!"

"Jobs?" echoed the princess.

"Careers, occupations, whatever you youngsters call them nowadays," responded Discord, as his goatee and hair turned gray and he fell back into a rocking chair. It was time to stop beating around the bush and cut to the chase. "The point is, I've decided to get one of my own, and I was wondering if you could be a reference for my resumé." A flash of light came to reveal a parchment almost half as long as one of Twilight's checklists. Twilight set it down on the table and began to read aloud:

Discord

42 Haphazard Way | Chaosville, E. Multiverse 10769 | 1 (800) 347-2673

EMPLOYMENT HISTORY

Mayor of Chaosville, January 2013 - present

Approval: Peach Harshwhinney

Everfree cleanup associate, November 2013 - December 2013

Approval: Zecora

Royal adviser to the Princess of Friendship, January 2016 - present

Approval:

"Discord, what are you playing at? You're not my royal adviser!"

"But Twilight -"

The princess cut him off, and turned to him, a silent request for understanding on her face. "No if's, and's, or but's! I'm fine with helping you, but lying is not the way!" Twilight neighed firmly.

All of a sudden, Discord was no longer looking at Twilight Sparkle, but a handsome figure with the head of a pony, an eagle claw, a lion paw, and a snake tail: himself, Discord the draconequus. He was briefly confused, but shook it off. Being a creature of chaos often led to small surprises of the sort.

"Twilight, please, be a good friend and sign the line," asked Discord a final time, seeing that there was no use in debating it any further.

He saw her horn glow with a menacing pink haze and resigned himself to her refusal. Another surprise came, breaking his concentration for a few seconds, and he felt as if he suddenly had lost a few pounds (a near impossible feat for an organism whose main diet consisted of popcorn and cotton candy, even with his arsenal of powers).

He bent down to pick up the scroll, and remembering a manner lesson from Fluttershy, thanked her as she escorted him to the door. He glanced at the scroll and saw that, to his astonishment, her name had been signed! He wasn't sure what had just happened, but he had all the time in the world to think about it when he got home to Chaosville.