The Perfect Job

As agreed, Discord woke up bright and early the next morning. (Yes, 7:45 is bright and early for a deep sleeper like the draconequus species.) He put on his most businesslike suit, and set off for the Ponyville Public Schoolhouse. Not wanting to cause a scene with his teleportation, he appeared in front of the opening doors as his pony counterpart, a handsome gray stallion (if he did say so himself) with a jagged, midnight black streak of a mane. Sparks flew from his horn, giving the illusion that he had used it for a teleportation spell.

Still, the young fillies and colts around him stopped their running to gawk at him. He shrugged his shoulders, feeling a delightful surge of ease at having them. "What?"

A pair of small earth ponies - one pink and one gray - at the head of the crowd snickered, but school life resumed as normal nonetheless. Discord sighed, and followed the last of the students into the building, where they were heading towards the gymnasium to wait for the bell to ring. Contrarily, however, he stealthily turned a corner into what a sign read was the "homeroom hallway." He found the largest room, belonging to Cherilee, and entered.

Hearing the clip-clop of Discord's new hooves, Cheerilee looked up from her paperwork. "Hello," she said, curiously but not unkindly. "Who might you be?"

"It's me, Cheerilee." She jumped at hearing the dark, smooth voice come out of this supposedly unidentified pony. "Discord. But in this form, you can call me 'Twister Drops.' I...I didn't want to give the children a fright, at least before I introduced myself. I do recall that the last and only time they saw me, I was 'a really interesting statue' representing...oh, what was it? Something like 'confusion,' 'evil,' and 'chaos.'"

She giggled. "I see. Well..." she looked out the door to make sure nopony was there before facing him. "Since you're a unicorn now, would you be able to create a sound bubble? I'd rather this be a, uh, private conversation."

"Oh, okay." He felt a spark inside of him, and his horn lit up. He felt some static. Then, with a burst of sound, the feeling was gone, and the two of them were surrounded in a bubble of pink.

"Alright, er, Twister Drops...first, you need to promise me that everything I tell you in this sound bubble stays between the two of us."

"Cross my heart..." Discord put a hoof to his chest. "...And hope to fly." He sprouted a pair of gray wings, which momentarily vanished. "Stick a cupcake in my eye." A strawberry cinnamon cilantro cupcake popped into his hoof, which he promptly put up to his pupil, ingeniously immune to ill effects.

After recovering from a slightly green hue upon catching a whiff of the cupcake, Cheerilee said, "Fine, then. Now that we've gone and done all that, this is going to seem a bit anticlimactic, but we're not considering you for the position, Disc - I mean, Twister Drops."

Discord fought to keep his eyes from turning into green flames, as had happened so many times at the Grand Galloping Gala several moons ago. Instead, he chose to distract himself with the power of curiosity. "Why did you call me in the first place, then?" He said, with a dangerously level voice.

She cleared her throat. "As I was saying," she said, clearly attempting to hide her annoyance, "assuming you want it, you are basically guaranteed the spot."

Twister Hooves blushed, then facehoofed himself for being so childish . "Ahem, yes, okay. But then why did you tell me otherwise?"

"Because of the ESA."

He rolled his eyes, forgetting his professional air. "Of course. It's always the Equestrian Security Agency, isn't it? Cherilee, where do I live?"

"Um, Chaosville. But I'm not sure I see your point."

"And is Chaosville a part of Equestria?"

Cheerilee stared at him, open-mouthed , before it was her turn to face-hoof . Repeatedly .

Twister Hooves permitted himself a hoot. "Yeah." When she was done at last, he added, "care to elaborate?"

"You mean on why I'm saying this?" He nodded. "Okay. Look, you have something that nopony else has."

"The song that you definitely shouldn't click here for?"

"Uh..." There was a long and awkward pause. "No, chaos."

"Oh, well, of course!" He chuckled. "That was going to be my second guess."

"Okay, then. Anyways, here's what I need you to do."