The Perfect Job

Attention! Attention. An emergency has been reported in this building. Please seize operations and utilize the nearest exit or fire exit. Do not use elevators. Repeat: do not use elevators.

Sleepily, Discord stretched and lay a talon on his alarm clock's SMOOZE button. He knew that he needed a bit of drama to wake up so early twice in a row, but the methods his sister was coming up with these days were ever so slightly extravagant in his opinion.

In a blinding flash of white light, Discord was up and dressed in a white turtleneck shirt with a red tie. "Fine!" he bellowed into her room.

Why had he granted her his powers again? He was starting to forget. But there was no use trying to get to sleep again now. He clicked his hooves, and teleported into Cheerilee's classroom, this time in his true form.

This time, she gave only a mild jolt of surprise as Discord appeared instead of Twister Hooves. "Are you sure you want to go through with this?" he asked.

"I - I...yes,I'm sure," replied Cheerilee solemnly, with a hesitant nod. "The bell should ring any second now."

"When's my Q?"

"The teacher's lounge is three rooms to the left. Make yourself comfortable there, and you should be able to hear when I call out for you. Now go; the bell will be ringing any moment now."

She was right. Discord closed the door to the staff lounge, and a chime passed through his ears an instant later. He heard the galloping of eager students for a minute, then all became silent.

"Apple Bloom?"

"Here!" came a filly's country-flared tone .

"Button?"

"I'm ready for school!" rasped a colt.

"Diamond Tiara?"

"Present!" replied a rich and snotty voice.

"Featherweight?"

"Here!" exclaimed a mild mutter.

And so it went, until the last student, a filly who Cheerilee had referred to as "Zipporwhill" replied.

"Alright, class," Cheerilee began enthusiastically yet cautiously, "today I have a very special announcement to make. Do all of you remember Miss Harshwhinny?"

An uneasy murmur passed through the classroom at the mention of the strict mare's name. Before it could get too loud, though, Cheerilee interjected, clearly choosing her words carefully, judging by her staccato pace. "Yes, yes, I know that some of you have a bit of a grudge against Mrs. Harshwhinny, but I have some news for you, so please settle down." There was a short pause as the room quieted. "Diamond Tiara's parents, Mr. and Mrs. Rich, have, um, alerted the school board as to your concerns, and we have decided to thank Mrs. Harshwhinny for her efforts and get a bit of new experience going."

"You mean you've fired her, Ms. Cheerilee?" came a gasp of withheld surprise with a lot of spitting .

"Yes, Twist, in a manner of speaking, we have fired her."

Discord sensed that his time was coming soon, and walked outside the classroom door.

A humongous gasp greeted this revelation, followed by an outburst of cheers, which Cheerilee seemed to be humoring. At last, she continued, "obviously, with Mrs. Harshwhinny gone, we need somepony to fill the position. So, everypony, I would like to introduce our newest counselor, Discord!"

As Discord walked into the room, every single mouth in the room dropped wide open (excluding Cheerilee's, of course), and their eyes grew the size of saucers. Discord ignored the stunned looks he was so used to, however, and focused on his next words.