When the Ponies Bother Me
Out of nowhere, a stallion was by my window, singing the children's nursery rhymes.
"Rain, rain, go away, come again another day..." IT WASN'T EVEN RAINING!
I face hoofed so hard that I fell over onto the floor, which fortunately had a random pillow exactly where my head landed. In the other side of the room, a figure giggled, her hair being flipped over. Then a groan was heard. Then she got up off of the small chair and headed off towards the bathroom to brush her mane.
Now that she was gone, I could get on with my plan. I wrote my Thing Plan on a piece of paper.
Later it was about time that I would evil.
I went to visit the stallion. He, of course, invited me in because he still admired me from when I got my cutie mark and set off a dazzling display.
It was time for step one, act normal.
No matter how much I hated it, I chatted with the stallion about various things.
"So uh, how are you?"
"Tired. Too many sports to do at school."
"Really? I have seen you at school, Awesome Blue! We are in the same math class, right?"
"Yep. I was hoping to talk to you about something."
"Yeah, what?"
"I'm failing math, language, AND science."
"Oh. Okay. What do you expect me to do about it?"
"Will you tutor me?"
"I expect payment."
"Okay... ten dollars per hour??"
"Fiiine..."
"K."
It was time for the second step of my thing plan, the turnaround, or the Sour Sweet.
"Hey. Should I make some toast?"
"Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes YEs YEs YES!"
He was quite excited because he had no idea how to use the toaster that sat in his kitchen unused. What he didn't know, however, was that I had a few tricks up my non existent sleeve. Seriously, where did that idiom come from in Equestria? Nopony has sleeves unless they are formally dressed or at the Grand Galloping Gala or, like me, in Humanestria.
First I put frozen bread in the toaster on warm setting. The ice melted and the bread was unbearably wet and soggy. I had Awesome Blue take the bread out of the toaster and taste it. He loved it so much that he floated despite being an earth pony and unable to float. Hmm. Some boys.
Next, I did the greatest thing. I put dry bread in the toaster along with a
thin, two millimeter, five inch long, four inch wide, wet, shiny, gray, sharp, scratched, reflective, cracked, bluish, ugly
metal sheet.
Gray smoke spewed from the kitchen. A disgusting stench came from the smoke. It became burning hot. The toaster started by catching fire, then exploding. The smoke detectors blared out. I broke open the ceiling and flew out.
The stallion Awesome Blue lived. Eh.
BONUS SCENE in third person
Sunrise' school day was as boring as ever. She was going to her math class. She disliked it because there was a boy who liked to move the desk.
No. Not move...
Shake.
That one day, she was REALLY irritated from gym, trying to find a tiny ounce of sympathy.
So she sat down. She saw the boy. Moving the table.
No! Not MOVING.
SHAKING!!!
She growled through clenched teeth, "You shake this desk ONE MORE TIME..."
And he shook it again.
Sunrise took two pencils out of her case and threw them.
Into each of his eyes.
Author's Note
Getting on Sunrise's bad side???
That is a really bad idea. You should consider not annoying Sunrise.
When the Ponies Bother Me
I was sitting on my lounge at home when I heard a thud. Somepony banged on my blue tinted window.
The pony was singing the worst song in Equestria, the Ninja Turtles theme song. It was annoying me so badly that I went over to the window to see who it was. It turned out to be a colt who had asked me to be his waifu one day before.
Hey, if he likes that terrible show, it is a good thing I didn't want to marry him. Especially considering the fact I already have somepony...
I went out and yelled "SHUT UP." He didn't listen. He just kept singing the obnoxious song. At one point, he trotted away, sticking his tongue out at me.
He sent me into a rage. I called my friends and said, "Hey. We have a plan to do."
I told them the supplies I needed and they brought them over. No biggie.
It was noon and I was just walking through the glistening purple road when the stupid stallion ran over, blue and yellow mane flowing in the wind, and I noticed that he was wearing a dumb orange mask and I made the #EpicRainbowwolfrageface.
And then that was it. This guy was going to pay for bothering me with the thing he knew I hate. Hey, that's my sisters' fault.
So I flew to Mount Flare and got some crystal lava. I would do this the awesome way.
I went to the colt's house and went all evil. I poured the shimmering lava into his chimney and heard a scream. Ha. SB would approve. I would call her soon.
Now that the stupid stallion was dealt with, I went back to my house to fly up and watch the detroyed house from a distance. Wait a second, crystals won't burn down. Oh well. I shall use a special magic bomb.
I got the MAGIA (the bomb's name) from Celestia's castle and set it near the colt's house. I flew away and it exploded with blue and purple. What a glorious sight.
When I returned a bit later, all that remained was the pony's table and door. Those are such strange things to not be bombed, but I guess that's the way it is.
I went home and called SB. She was proud of me for eliminating the stupid colt even though SB was only a filly. They had a huge rivalry for five years. I called my friends and they all laughed.
Then I sat back on my lounge for a bit and ate some food, thinking about the colt. I may have UNDER reacted! Oh well. At least he was gone.
The next day, I heard a thud on my window and a stallion with green hair sang children nursery rhymes outside my door. It was time for a little fun...
Author's Note
Don't get on my bad side. 
