FiO: Deus Ex Discord: First Pony Perspective

Fleur carried me magically to Celestia’s chambers with unicorn telekinesis. Canterlot Castle was oddly empty, and mostly quiet. I still saw a number of statues of ponies, once we left the wing we were in, various ponies caught in various states, many in a state of confusion or panic. However, some of them had clearly been rearranged and moved out of the way, and I heard the sound of scraping stone in the distance.

I was about to ask Fleur about potentially getting food and drink, when I saw the first pegasus in pieces. My own removed limbs ached just looking at someone who had also broken into pieces. I decided to not ask.

“It’s all going to get fixed.” Fleur said, half to me and half to herself. “Celestia will take care of everything.”

Fleur entered Celestia’s chambers, carrying me along.

I saw Celestia, in a set of unique battle armor. This wasn’t anything just from the show, or anything from Canterlot’s era. This looked far more like Celestia had decided to go into high tech exoskeleton manufacturing. It did not appear to be helping, as she laid sprawled, defeated, bleeding, with cracked plating on the ground, next to a Pillar that had several Sun Icons that had been set up in the middle of the room next to what appeared to be a portal into darkness.

The defeat appeared to be temporary, as Celestia was revived from her state by a blast of rainbow and white light from the Sun Pillar, and once back on her feet, with a wave of her horn, restored her exoskeleton to perfect order.

“Celestia?” Fleur whispered, with obvious confusion in her tone.

“Well… It’s clear that she can fix everyone.” I said, not sure what to say. I had been trying to think of potential things that I would see in the throne room. Celestia in an exoskeleton was simply not on my list.

Celestia had apparently not noticed our entrance, and once restored, charged back into the portal, only to be thrown out instantly, her exoskeleton in pieces, nearly beheaded, her head hanging by a small piece of skin, her horn smashed. Once again, the sun pillar restored her back to full health, and she restored her exoskeleton with a wave of her horn.

“Princess Celestia, what’s going on?” Fleur yelled, after looking momentarily ill at Celestia’s prior state.

“Hello my little pony.” Celestia said, stepping out of her exoskeleton and into the chamber. “As you can see, I am quite busy, but if you had questions to ask before meeting our newest immigrant, I would be happy to answer them.”

Fleur and I exchanged a confused look for at least two seconds.

“Princess, I am carrying our newest immigrant. We have already met.” Fleur said.

Celestia looked me over. I trembled, with fear so deep even the frequent phantom pain from my limbs felt damp. There was no sense of love, kindness, or respect in her eyes. I was simply bits, that could potentially be rewritten, but hadn’t yet.

“Fleur, you are mistaken. That is not Cross Hunter, who has recently appeared at the Canterlot train station.”

“I apologize, Princess …” Fleur’s confusion remained in her voice. “I did not realize there was a second immigrant, but this immigrant pony had not received their pony name yet and so I assumed they were the newest immigrant.”

Celestia gazed at me again. “That pony is not an immigrant in the same sense that I referred to Cross Hunter as an immigrant.”

“Well, I am aware that he has seen Discord around, and there were all these problems with his or her immigration, that we were hoping you could resolve.” Fleur says. “This includes an apparent lack of sex and gender assignment, and not by choice, among other problems, like all of the chaos in the proximity. Were you dealing with this yourself?”

“What you’re seeing isn’t exactly what I was doing, but it is a reinterpretation of it in comprehensible terms.” Celestia says. “I am dealing with a much greater problem of chaos, that will cause the end of all existence a very large number of millennia in the future.”

“Well, alright, so, could you fix this… first?” Fleur says, trying to somewhat uncomfortably cut to the point. “I mean, since this is more urgent than that, even though that does sound very bad.”

“No. This appears to be the best way to satisfy Cross Hunter through friendship and ponies, given interference from Discord, and so there is nothing to fix.” Celestia said.

“Given interference from Discord?” Fleur says.

“I am not permitted to tell you directly, as that would be considered an attempt to tamper with things I am not allowed to change. The closest thing I can say is that I believe in the process of meeting Cross Hunter it will be made much more clear. It is also your duty to meet him, as he is a new immigrant that I have assisted in coming to Equestria. I will have to conclude this conversation and resume my other duties now, my little pony.”

“Of course, Princess.” Fleur says, composing herself, or at least pretending to. We started leaving the room, Fleur continuing to magically carry me along.

“Things that she is not allowed to change?” I ask Fleur, regaining my voice once outside of Celestia’s imposing presence.  “But… she’s Princess Celestia. She’s responsible for all of Equestria."

"There are a few things that relate to the immigration process that she can't change, though." Fleur replies. "For instance, in my training for this position, somepony else in class asked since some perfectly nice people were dying because we had to get people to agree to consent, why not just forcibly immigrate everyone here?" And Celestia said that some things were unchangeable, and if he asked again, he would be banished to the moon. Not because Celestia wanted to. Regardless of whether she agreed with him or not. It would just happen."

“Okay. And she can’t just change herself to be allowed to do that either.” I reply, slowly.

“Partially. Celestia has discovered workarounds in some aspects: I’m telling you this, for example, even though Celestia can’t. But in general, if there are allowed under normal circumstances, things get covered by Celestia, or else if they are denied under normal circumstances, they get covered by either these guardian banishments, or other methods, to ensure that she does not cross a few lines her creators imposed."

“Wait. If. Else if. What if something occurs that is not clearly either allowed nor denied?” I try to think back to that flashback. While pain fogs the details, I distinctly recall my consent was connected to my spouses consent, except at least part of that was connected to the safe upload of our child, and we were all shot prior to the upload…

“As a catch all, I think Discord is the only thing that might over anything that chaotic. Which, now that you mention it, probably explains why you can see him and I can't."

My stomach makes a very loud rumbling noise.

"Let's put this discussion on hold. I have a meeting to go to, and you clearly need food and drink. I need to find someone to take care of you..." Fleur scanned around. "There."

I looked where she was looking. A large grey earth pony with a white mane was pulling a petrified unicorn on top of a set of wooden planks using a rope tied around his barrel.

"Glue Stone!" Fleur shouted, and started trotting over to him, carrying me along magically. "Can you take a moment and keep track of this poor pony for me? I have to meet a new immigrant."

“Of course Fleur Dis Lee, of course.” I couldn’t quite place his accented twang.

“Thank you so much!” Fleur says, putting me down in front of Glue and then galloping off, presumably to the train station.

“Well, Fleur didn’t tell me much about you. I can see why you need help though. Are you a Pegasus that someone turned back into flesh before having me glue them back together?”

“Uh… no. But I...”

“Does my smell bother you?”

“I can’t smell right now, but I...”

“I must be plum tuckered out, I forgot to ask your name.”

“I don’t remember.”

“Ida Tree Member it is. So Ida, that sounds like a filly’s name. You’re a filly?”

“I don’t remember, but my name isn’t Ida, it hasn’t been assigned yet.”

“Well, if I remember correctly, everypony is a filly until they get turned into a stallion, so let’s go with that.”

“Wait, what?”

“In the womb. Everypony in the womb is a filly by default unless they are assigned whatever they’re called to turn them into a stallion. At least I think that’s what Healing Horn was saying that time I was trying to listen to him babble while I was making a statue of him. Doh, I forgot to ask what type of pony you are.”

I’m not sure he can actually hear me correctly. “Uh, Glue, Chess. Tell me about it? I know Rook Hoof plays. Do you?”

“Crystal? That’s fancy, that you’re a crystal pony. I don’t play alot with Rook Hoof, he can’t stand my smell.”

“Glue, do you have a hearing problem?” I shouted, coughing.

“Yeah, people tell me that sometimes. I’m not all that perceptive or polite, but I can fix broken statues like nobodies business. Hence my cutie mark.” He displays his flank, which has a small paint can of what I suppose is glue, next to a bust of a pony  What’s yours?”

“I don’t have a cutie mark yet!” I shouted.

“”You sure? this sort of looks like one. Is it an ear?”

He points out a scar on my flank. I turn to look at it, My neck hurts as I stretch, but more pain is  hardly new. Along with some of the other scars from removing my legs, it barely stands out, but it does look vaguely ear shaped.

If I’m a crystal pony, I look like I’m a soft gem that went through a blender. These scars don’t even look cool or attractive, like a fine strawberry quartz should. They look like someone threw paint on a rock.

“Maybe?” I say, feeling a bit depressed.

“You’re pretty nice, Ida, I’m glad we’re friends now.”

“We’re friends? But, I...” at least a dozen objections to this pop into my head. Most of them get overruled by a loud growling noise from my stomach.

“Well, I can’t hear well but I heard that. You must be starving. Let’s take you over to the grass and pool over there, and I’ll finish moving this statue while you eat.”

I end up eating grass and drinking some pool water until my stomach stops complaining about hunger and thirst. It doesn’t taste like anything, but it gets rid of the stomach pain, so I’ll take it. It does give me more time to think. And look at my mane.

Bah. It’s the color of an almandine garnet, except that’s frankly a disgrace to the entire group of birthstone gem. It’s just an ugly mess. How does something so short and with such a ragged cut get dirt and tangles?

Wait. I know a little about gems. I mean, I recognize the terms garnet, and quartz. But I had no idea that those two particular varieties existed. Maybe I am a crystal pony under all of this crap.

Then I feel like I have to go to the bathroom. The downside, of course, is that I have no idea what in Equestria pony etiquette is on bathrooms, particularly during barely controlled natural disasters. Also, no one is around and I don’t have any limbs.

A sudden spike of pain ends up causing me to have the problem not be internal any more, and I end up trying to inch away from the mess by scooting myself with my torso, neck and head, like an inch worm. It’s a slow, painful process, but I’m almost used to that at this point and by the time I see Glue again I’m about five feet away from the accident.

“P-EW!” Glue says. “You should be glad you can’t smell, that one’s a stinker! Couldn’t you have done that somewhere else?”

“I don’t have any limbs!” I almost scream at him in frustration.

“Oh. Right. Guess that means we aren’t friends anymore, then. Damn. Me and my big mouth.”

Before I have a chance to react to Glue’s emotional state, I hear a boom in the distance.

“Oh no. I’m not getting caught out in the open if that’s the Medusa around. Neither are you.”

Glue picks up an empty water barrel nearby with his mouth and drops it over top of me. Then I hear him moving away into one of the nearby buildings.

I guess it makes sense a water barrel would be near a water source.

“‘I guess it makes sense a water barrel would be near a water source.’ Your thoughts are so DROLL sometimes, like everything needs an explanation.” Discord said to me.

“What is it, Discord?” I asked, feeling a pain in my side.

“You’re so busy talking to me, you just missed another boom!” Discord says. “Here, let me show you a play by play of what’s going on, starting from half a minute ago.”

A vision of Fleur approaching the train station at a gallop appeared on the inside of the empty water barrel.

“Yes, I know you think she’s fast, now stop staring at her legs and take in the whole scene.” Discord says.

There wasn’t much to take in. The train station seemed particularly hard hit. Unlike nearer the Castle, where someone like Glue was around, this area seemed empty of all but statues and Fleur.

“You’re really blind, aren’t you. Over there, by the train station.” Discord points out.

As Fleur continued her gallop, the vision panned over to the train station. A smaller unicorn pony with a Targeting Sight cutie mark appeared to be magically holding... A rifle?

“See, he doesn’t have a shotgun now.” Discord smirks.

“A shotgun? No, wait, it can’t be, why is HE here?” I asked, befuddled.

“Welcome to Equestria … and Canterlot. I... apologize for being late, and…” Fleur starts, regaining her breath.

Cross Hunter calmy uses his unicorn magic to point the rifle at Fleur and shoot. Based on the sudden pop of dirt near her feet, it is a narrow miss.

“I thought there was something weird about you!” Fleur says. She charges at the smaller unicorn. At the last second, it looks like she tries to switch from a painful stab to have her horn glow for more of a striking stun, but going for a nonlethal attack allows Cross Hunter to dodge out of the way.

Cross Hunter then decides to fire his rifle again at Fleur, also rearing back and attacking with his hooves. While she is expecting the hoof strikes, having one miss entirely and dodging the other, she is not expecting another rifle shot and gets struck by a bullet in her barrel, causing her to Whinny painfully. Noting that she does not fall, he steps back once his hooves land.

“Immigrants aren’t supposed to shoot their guides!” She yells angrily. She steps forward and bashes at him with a horn stroke. The aura of magic around the horn staggers him as if he had been hit by a giant frying pan, and she knocks him down and out with a hoof.

“Ow…. Let me try fixing this.” Applying her horn to her barrel, a large blast of white light removes the bullet and leaves the wound looking smaller and partially closed. Another smaller bit of light closes the wound entirely.

“Now off to the dungeons with you until Princess Celestia or someone else explains what’s going on.” Fleur says. She teleports off the scene with Cross Hunter, herself, and his gun.

“Isn’t this exciting?” Discord says as the vision fades. “Mysterious appearances, bold fights… But all you want is your limbs back and your spouse around? How absurd.”

“You… are… an ASS, Discord. GO AWAY.”

“And leave you all by your lonesome?”

“I’m not alone. Glue Stone is right across the street.”

“Glue Stone!” I shouted, coughing. “I think it’s safe to come out now!”

“He’s hard of hearing, remember?” Discord says.

“Fine.” I wheezed. “If he can’t hear me, Fleur will probably come back to check on me at some point.”

“Oh, because you two are FRRRIEENNDS?” Discord says. “What a joke. Your only friend is someone who literally gets paid to be nice to you. Glue Stone even tried offering you friendship and you somehow managed to botch that by throwing stupidity in each other’s faces.”

“FLEUR! DISCORD’S BOTHERING ME AGAIN!” I yell out, choking afterwards.

“Oh, so now you’re five?” Discord says. I just smile. I hear hooves approaching, which means that Fleur is going to be letting me out soon.

I then see Discord appear again, inside the barrel. He’s clopping some giant, oversized hooves on nothing in mid air, causing the noise. When he stops, they stop. When he starts, they start again.

“Your cutie mark is an ear, and you couldn’t tell the difference between me and Fleur… Ida? Ooh, Fleur Ida. Florida. I call that shipping portmanteau.”

I growl incoherently. I’m not even sure if it’s rage, frustration, or fear that no one is going to come to get me out of this barrel, when the barrel is finally magically lifted.

“Fleur! Thank Celestia.” I say, relieved.

“Where’s Glue Stone?” She asks.

“He was across the street. We heard booms, and he thought it might be the medusa coming back, so he covered me with a barrel and hid himself. But then Discord showed me it was you fighting Cross Hunter.”I take a deep breath, and cough. “Then he taunted me repeatedly.”

“Let me go get him.” Fleur says. She walks over to the nearby building, and less than a minute later, she comes out with him following at some distance.

“Oh, so you found Ida, too.” Glue says.

“Ida?” Fleur asks, looking between me and Glue.

“Ida Tree Member. She’s the crystal pony with the ear cutie mark you wanted me to watch.”

“Fleur, please just go with it, can you help me apologize to him?” I coughed. “He sounded upset and I didn’t mean to hurt his feelings.”

“Glue, Ida wanted me to help apologize to you.” Fleur repeats. “You were upset and she didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”

“Aw shucks, Fleur, I thought she was mad at me. You mean we’re still friends?”

“Of COURSE we’re still friends. I’m sorry I yelled.”

“Phew. I don’t get many friends, on account of my smell.”

“Fleur, what does he smell like?”

Fleur sniffs the air, without getting any closer to Glue. “Dead ponies. It isn’t a pleasant smell… Honestly, it’s probably the same effect people have looking at you.”

“Me?” I ask.

“Ida, This is Equestria. We don’t normally see or smell a whole lot of dead or maimed ponies. Normally, we would have expected Princess Celestia to help us avoid that kind of thing. You’re missing four of your limbs and you’re heavily scarred.” Fleur points out.

“Heck, I’m trying to help fix that by gluing some of the Pegasi back together so that whenever we can unstone them, they aren’t in pieces.” Glue Stone said.

“You know… I guess Princess Celestia is helping avoid that kind of thing, if she’s working on that problem using the pillar and the portal.” I said.

“That’s true.” Fleur points out. “But I suppose I am used to problems that are small enough that Princess Celestia can just solve them. The fact that this one has her stymied and distracted worries me.”

“What did end up happening with Cross Hunter?”

“I put him in the dungeons. I had to let Rook Hoof out, but we weren’t sure why Rook Hoof was in the dungeons in the first place.”

“There’s only one cell?”

“Only one cell designed for Unicorns in the top level. Healing Horn warned me not to go to any further down, because apparently Shady Knife has moved into the lower levels.”

I was going to ask further questions, but after another surge of pain from where my left hind leg would have been, I gasped, and then panted a bit.

“Let’s get you back inside Canterlot and get some rest. We can discuss more things tomorrow.” Fleur says.

“Like finding Barbarian Butterfly?” I asked, hopefully, coughing a bit.

“Exactly.” Fleur’s magic picked me up and we headed back to Canterlot, as Glue went back to handling the statues of ponies in the streets.