State of the Ship

What's Up, Doc?

"Ah yes, come in, come in- don't mind the mess. I'm somewhat in the middle of something."

Scootaloo hesitantly plodded into the chaotic lab/living space. Bits of bizarre technology were strewn across a few workbenches, and a bunch of beakers hung on a rack. "You know, Doctor, it's not often I make house calls. Though I guess that statement is a bit premature, what with how new my business is..."

"Indeed, and I hope you know I would never have imposed so if I wasn't incredibly busy. Here, hold this." He shoved a flask into the filly's hooves, nearly causing her to drop it, and in a flash was at a table stirring some concoction.

"Busy doing... what exactly?" She took a whiff of the murky liquid bubbling in the flask and immediately regretted it. The noxious fizz burned her nostrils, with the surviving smell-receptors urgently informing her brain of the overly foul stench that emanated from the substance. Scootaloo retched. Recovering, she continued, "If it's not too much to ask."

The Doctor waved her concerns away genially as he stopped stirring. "Not at all, my dear. With luck, and some tremendous science-ing on my part, these various oils and minerals will become Equestria's next great hair care solution." Crossing back, he recovered the flask from Scootaloo. Then he frowned. "Or an extremely efficient nerve agent. One can never really tell at this stage."

"Let's wish for the former..."

"Don't worry, Scootaloo. I do know basic chemistry. The only way that could happen is if they were combined in the wrong way, and this lab has been set up precisely to stop that from happening. Although, I have been noticing some loose screws..." A concerned look lingered on his features for a fleeting moment, before he shrugged and went on with his preparations.

A new apprehension washed over Scootaloo as she realized that, despite the Doctor's confidence, the lab seemed more unstable than she would've liked. It'd be best if she settled this quickly. "So, you wanted a consultation."

"Oh. Actually, no." He swished his tail, the tip of which brushed a jar of semi-translucent, purple liquid. It started to wobble. "Perhaps I should have been more clear in my message." The jar tipped over off the shelf. "I already have somepony I fancy." Scootaloo dove and caught it, mere inches from the floor. She sighed in relief as the Doctor turned back around. "Please don't mess around with that. It's very dangerous."

"So you'd like me to tell you how to ask her, or him, on a date?" Scootaloo gently placed the jar back where it belonged.

"Her. And yes."

"'Her'? Are you sure? I've got a few excellent pairings-"

The Doctor cut her off there. "Yes, I'm sure. No need to waste your time on that."

"Ew, het..."

"So can you help me?" he asked. "Will you?"

She patted him on the back reassuringly. "Of course, Doc. If anything, I am a professional. The client's satisfaction is my number one priority. Now, who is this dream mare?"

"It's Derpy."

"The Muffin Mare?!" Flashbacks of ravenous hunger lanced through Scootaloo's mind, the sounds of the beast still fresh.

"The very same."

Scootaloo scratched her head. This seemed like an easy problem to solve, so she didn't get why the Doctor would need her help to do so. But before she could say it, a loose shelf support gave way. The side it had been supporting dropped and knocked into a nearby bookcase. That should have been the end of it, and in most cases Scootaloo would have right in expecting so, but in this instance the Doctor had placed several knickknacks atop the bookcase- Knickknacks that toppled off at the impact. It was everything she could do to catch them all before they hit the floor, and nothing short of a mythical feat that she was able to place them on another nearby surface without the Doctor noticing.

Unfortunately, she still took too long for the Doctor's forbearance. "I knew it, this is too difficult for even your talents..."

"No, no, no- not at all! It is, in fact, the opposite. So simple a procedure that you don't even need me at all, Scootaloo proclaimed. "Though I will gladly accept the commission."

"Well then, how should I broach the subject?" the Doctor pressed as he set a full flask on a low-flame burner near the door.

"Have you ever just... said it?"

"'Said it'? You mean simply walk up to her and ask if she would like to accompany me on some sort of... date?"

"Yeah. She's clearly interested in you, what's the worst that could happen?" Scootaloo rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "Well... I guess she could say 'no', and point at you, and laugh, and then everypony else could point and laugh."

"How reassuring."

"Oh, come on! You spend most days mastering science itself. Something like this should be nothing compared to that!" She fixed him with her most earnest look, a technique that had never failed her before.

Once again, it worked like a charm. The Doctor sighed in resignation. "Very well, you've convinced me. I'll ask her."

Scootaloo smiled in what would seem to an outside observer to be a congratulatory manner, though what she was actually doing was some mental banking. She reached over to-

The door flew open and Trixie stormed in, eyes darting around as if she was a hunter searching for her quarry. She jabbed a hoof at the little pegasus and shouted, "There you are! Today is the day we settle this! Trixie demands a -"

BOOM!

Scootaloo coughed as the dust and smoke from the explosion settled, and as her vision cleared she could see Trixie again. The magician was covered from head to hoof in soot, her mane shocked to the side. "Umm... Trixie? Are you okay?"

"You- ahem- you may have won this round, but Trixie s-shall have her revenge!" With that pronouncement the unicorn staggered out of the lab.

"Oh dear, I forgot about that burner... I hope she's alright," the Doctor muttered. "What could she have wanted?"

Scootaloo shrugged. "No clue."