Chapters Ein Deutsher in das Land der Pony
Hans Fischer was born on 13 October, 1921, in Rostock, Germany. He was 11 years old when Hitler took power, and was instantly very loyal to him. 7 years later, just before the invasion of the USSR, he joined the Wehrmacht. He mostly served patrolling streets in occupied France. After Operation Barbarossa had begun later in the year, he was present during the battle of Kiev. He got 3 confirmed kills without a scratch on him. He was good at both of his jobs, and due to clear devotion to the reich, he was accepted into the Waffen-SS in August 1942. He saw little action before he was assigned a top-secret task. This, obviously, confused Hans. He was told to meet a Obergefreiter in a camp outside of Odessa. He obliged, ready to serve the reich, but was still unsure why he was pulled from the front. When he entered the Obergefreiter’s personal tent, the guards left.
“I’m sure you are wondering why you’re here,” said the Obergefreiter, “I assure you it is not without cause.”
“Yes, Obergefreiter. What is my duty?” Said Hans.
“Call me Herr Moller. I have a task that is not to leave this room unless you are told otherwise by me. Understand?”
“Yes, Herr Moller. What is this task, if I may ask?”
“Of course you can ask, Fischer. This task regards an unusual cave found 4 kilometres south of where we are standing now. When locals were asked, they warned us to stay away. This lead us to think that there was some sort of treasure or Slavic shire in there. We sent in an unarmed soldier who never returned. We sent in 3 locals by force, who also never returned. Putting lights into it didn’t help visibility, almost as if the cave absorbed light.”
“Are you sending me in there, Herr Moller?”
“Yes. We are. I’m surprised you guessed it so quickly. We are sending you in with weapons. We’d send in prisoners, but we do not trust them with weapons, We also will give you a flashlight in case it somehow works inside the cave. We want you to explore for and hour and come back. Go in a straight line and do not stop going in a straight line. If you cannot, turn around and end the journey early. Understood?”
“Herr Moller, this is very sudden. I’m also unsure why I must do this”
“You do not have a choice, Obersoldat. You are heading out in an hour. Get ready.”
With that, the Obergefreiter left. Hans was left to collect his thoughts and figure out what he was going to do. He was never one to go against orders, and he didn’t plan on changing that. He decided to write letters to his family in case he did not return like those before him, and packed plenty of food and water. When the hour arrived, he stopped and got on a jeep headed for the cave. Hans gave the letters to Herr Moller, who promised to give them to Hans’ family in case something happened. Hans felt security in that.
When Hans entered the cave, he felt a large sense of dread and loneliness hovering over him. Hans knew that there is an almost certain chance of him dying alone and in the dark in this cave. Within seconds he was bathed in complete darkness, and was out of earshot from the others. After a few hundred metres, Hans tripped over something large, and landed on another large object. He had stumbled over a few large, soft objects, which upon feeling them, he realised were the others sent in, impaled by stalagmites. This sent Hans into a panic, running in the opposite direction. Hans was lost almost immediately, but he could not care less. He screamed for help which he knew would never come. He soon felt the sensation of falling. He had fallen off of a ledge, and not a small one. He felt as if he was falling for ages. He soon felt very dizzy and passed out. Hans’ pulse slowed down, and the last thing he could see was a sudden flash of bright light.
Ein Deutsher in das Land der Pony
Hans’ head ached like mad. He felt sore all over, and his joints were creaking. Other than bruises and pain, however, he was completely fine physically. Mentally, he was even better. He felt strangely calm, albeit scared as well. When he looked around in his surroundings, his fear took over his calm state. Hans was in an unfamiliar, oddly bright coloured field in the middle of nowhere. Judging by what he could see, a mountain range, grassy hills, and what looked like a forest, he thought he must have died and gone to some sort of purgatory. That idea was quickly pushed out of his mind when he realised he was still able to feel pain and could not hold his breath because of the lack of air. He was still alive.
Hans decided to head to the forest, where he was most likely to find food. Upon taking his first few steps, he noticed a scar on his side. It looked about 15cm long. It stung a lot. Hans hoped he could find some people somewhere to give him some medicine. That hope turned out to be not that far-fetched, as when he got closer to the forest, he realised it was a large apple orchard rather than a simple forest. Hans screamed in delight. He ran as fast as he could to the trees, and took an apple down. It was a very good apple, plump and moist. Hans began to walk around the orchard, marveling at just how large it was. He also thought he could see a barn and a farmhouse on the horizon. It looked like American architecture. Hans payed that no mind however, as he started his trek towards the barn.
After about two minutes of walking, Hans heard trotting up ahead. “Good” he thought, “Someone must be working the horses. He can probably get me to the farmhouse and possibly a nearby town”. The trotting steadily getting louder, Hans turned around for one last apple. The trotting suddenly stopped, with someone in a Southern American accent saying “And who are you? What are you? Why are you in my farm?”. Hans sighed, he hated those accents. He was fluent in English, his parents made him learn it from a young age, and those American accents annoyed the crap out of him, as one of his English teachers had it, and he was not a smart or kind man. Hans, before turning around, said “I am sorry, my friend. I am lost and need medical help, may you assist me?”
“What even ARE you?” said the feminine voice behind Hans, confusing him.
“Ich bin...I am a German. I desperately need help. I have wounds”.
“We can get you help, Ajermaan. That’s a silly name, by the way. You talk funny too. Turn around and show your face”.
With a sigh, Hans turned around. He was not greeted with a human at all, much less an American. He was greeted with a 4-foot-tall orange horse, that only highlighted the bright colours of the world he was in. Hans noticed the large eyes, blond hair, and hat. Hans, dazed, asked “What the hell…” before the horse spoke.
It fucking spoke.
Hans didn’t even hear what it said, he just opened his eyes as far as they could go, and screamed. He screamed and did not stop. He could not stop. He would not stop. The horse was taken aback by this, and tried to calm Hans, to no avail, as Hans attempted to hit her off, the horse hit him in the head violently, knocking him out. Han’s helmet was just about the only thing that stopped the hit from giving him brain damage. The horse dragged him to the barn, and ran off to get help from her friends.
Hans woke up in a barn, all alone. He wasn’t wearing his uniform or helmet, and seemed to only be wearing bandages, covering his whole body other than his head. His body was still a little sore, but he was more so in shock. That had to have been a hallucination, right? Just as Hans thought that question, he was proven wrong. Hans whimpered when a bright yellow horse about 2 feet tall hopped into his line of sight. The horse seemed oddly happy, which only served to terrify Hans more. She also had the stupid fucking accent.
“Hey silly! You’re awake!” the horse said, continuing to hop.
“Where am I? What are you?” questioned Hans.
“Why, I’m a pony, silly! You should know that, considering we live here. Are you from…” the pony stopped.
“I am from Rostock, Germany. I’m not from here”.
“The everfree forest!?”.
“No. I just said I was from Rostock. It’s in Deutschland. Germany. Mightiest nation in all the land?”
“That’s ridiculous. We are the mightiest in the world. Applebloom, go to your room” said a purple pony walking through the door. Hans began to hyperventilate as he noticed the pony had wings and a horn. He managed to calm himself a few seconds later
“Awww!” said the yellow pony, apparently named “Applebloom”.
“Please tell me what’s going on” said Hans.
“I’d like to know your answer first, mister. Here’s the deal. I’ll answer a question for every question of mine you answer. I am able to detect lies, by the way. So don’t try anything” said the purple pony.
“Fine. What are they?”
“Here’s three to start. Who are you? Where are you from? Why are you here?”
“I told your friend where I’m from. Rostock, Germany. I am Obersoldat Hans Fischer, with the Waffen-SS. I don’t know why I’m here. I got lost in a cave and woke up outside the apfel orchard”
The purple pony got a confused look on her face, as she could tell that all of his answers were true. She had never heard of a place called Germany, much less the city of Rostock within it. She could understand then, why he was scared of the ponies. He must have never seen them before.
“Now answer my three,” Hans said, “Who are all of you? Where am I? Where are my clothes?”
The purple horse replied with “I’ll happily introduce you to my friends. I hope you can join their ranks someday! This is Applejack, I am Twilight Sparkle, and the young one you saw earlier was named Applebloom. I have more, we should go meet them!” said the purple horse, Twilight.
“I will do that when you answer my other questions”.
“Ugh, you’re in Sweet Apple Acres, just outside Ponyville. Your clothes are over there. Put them on and let’s go.”
Hans did as he was told, though the answer to where they were seemed unhelpful to him. He was going to figure it out soon anyways. Twilight took him to see her other friends while Applejack stayed behind to look after the orchard. They headed into town, which seemed dead. Twilight said it was because it was early, but it was 8:00 in the morning. They came across a few ponies, but the ignored them for the most part. Then Twilight pointed to a pink one, and they approached. Twilight introduced them, and after taking one look at Hans, the pink pony screamed and darted away. Hans, confused enough already, was on the verge of breaking down from his own madness that must be causing this. Twilight explained to Hans that she was named Pinkie Pie, and he’d get to know her better that night. She always had a surprise for newcomers. Hans really did not care for that at all.
They next headed for a field, but Twilight stopped and pointed a low, fluffy cloud right above them. Twilight told Hans that she didn’t expect to see her so early. Hans seriously considered pulling out his lüger and just shooting Twilight and himself. Twilight called up to the cloud, causing a bright blue pony pop out from the cloud, that said “Yeah?”. It’s mane was rainbow coloured. Hans had seen enough weird shit that day to make him simply shrug at this. The blue pony, who Twilight explained was named “Rainbow Dash”, took one look at Hans and darted towards him, seeing him as some sort of threat. As he saw her get closer to him, Hans attempted to pull out his MP40, but was far too slow. Rainbow dash tackled him, and was able to pin him down somehow. If Hans wasn’t weakened from his ordeal this far, he probably would have been able to break out. Rainbow Dash asked Twilight who Hans was, and Twilight explained. Rainbow Dash got off and apologised. This, of course, did not matter to Hans, as he quickly grabbed his rifle and aimed it at Rainbow. She was clearly frightened, but Twilight simply looked puzzled.
“What in Equestria is that?” she asked.
“It’s a Maschinenpistole 40 submachine gun. It will pierce your friend’s skin for daring to attack me” answered Hans.
Saying that was quite the mistake, as Twilight was able to use magic to knock the weapon out of Hans’ hands. She told him that for saying that, he’s have to see the princess.
“Over my dead body. I’m not going anywhere with du” said hans, as he tried to turn and run. Twilight sighed and used magic to restrain him, as Rainbow Dash flew into town, obtained rope, and tied Hans up. He constantly swore and threatened them in German, but both ponies ignored it. She called her friends to meet her at the train station, where they would board a train to the capital, Canterlot.
Hans was forced to sit down next to Twilight, under her constant supervision. His weapons were not with him anymore, but with Twilight. She was holding them until the princess could see them and confirm or deny that they are dangerous. Hans continued to swear under his breath, but everyone ignored him. An hour into the journey, Twilight said that Hans should meet the last two ponies she was going to introduce him to before his little episode. The white pony sitting across from him was unfamiliar, and she sounded oddly French and British put together. A mongrel of the two, if you will. Hans refused to speak to her, but he learned her name was Rarity and that she was sort of a bitch. The last one, every other pony had to comically push into the compartment Hans was sitting in. She was bright yellow with a pink mane. The yellow pony was eventually pushed in, and locked into the compartment, where she spent the first few seconds of the encounter pounding on the door. Twilight eventually told her to stop, and she did. She was still clearly on edge, something Hans would use to his advantage. He’d seen plenty of interrogations during his service, so he had an idea of how to break people with words. He wasn’t sure if it would have the same effect with him tied up, however.
The yellow pony was named Fluttershy, a name she very well deserved. She only spoke in timid and short sentences, Hans told her his name, and started talking her down, in a way that would not easily give hint to the other ponies in the car that he was threatening her. If anything, everybody was surprised he was speaking this much at all, much less to the pony that spoke the least.
“Fluttershy, eh? That is a good name. Do you want to know mine?”Hans said.
“S...sure” Fluttershy responded.
“Mien name is...My name is Hans Fischer. Do you want to know a secret?”
Applejack told others that she didn’t trust him at all. Hans told her that his name was Ajermaan, Obersoldat, and now Hansfisha. Twilight said the she agreed, that is weird.
“Even if you don’t want to know, here it is anyways. I am not from here. I am from a place called…” Hans had to think of something threatening, something he thought these ponies would hate. He recalled Applebloom’s fear of something called ‘Everfree’.
“I am from Everfree. Have you heard of it?”
“Y...yes…” Fluttershy said, clearly frightened.
“It is a marvelous city. Truly, it is. It gets a bad reputation around here, but I am not sure why”.
Twilight stepped in, ruining Hans’ plans. She seemed panicked, and asked where there was a city in the Everfree Forest. Hans realised his mistake, he meant to say that is where he was from, a forest, but it was too late now.
“It is in the exact centre of the forest, concealed by the many trees. Have you really never heard of it?” said Hans.
“You’ve never heard of us ponies, how could have heard of you?”
Fuck. That was one major plot hole that Hans had forgotten. Hans had brought himself into so much bullshit that now he just looked like an idiot. He couldn’t say he lied earlier, it was quite obvious that he wasn’t. He just decided to spout out random crap in German. This caused Twilight to realise his lies, so she gagged him, rendering Hans unable to speak. He rode the last few hours of the train ride in silence, very unhappy with his situation. When they arrived, the ponies forced him to walk over to the gates, where he saw several ponies, unlike Ponyville. Han noticed that they all looked fearful of him. He was brought to a hotel, where he was left in a locked hotel room. Twilight told him to stay put, she would be back soon with the princess to speak with him. Hans sighed, and laid down on the bed in the room to get some sleep.
Ein Deutsher in das Land der Pony
Hans woke to a knocking at the door, along with Twilight’s voice telling him to open up, the princess was here. Hans, of course, refused. This mattered not to the ponies, as they entered Hans’ room anyways. The princess was much, much taller than the other ponies he had met so far, so Hans felt fear for the first time since he woke up in the barn. He was able to muster up enough courage to say one sentence, however.
“I will only speak to a pony mit a white coat, blue eyes, und a blonde mane. Nobody else” Hans said. This made the princess and Twilight look at each other, but did nothing else. They questioned Hans anyways. After a few minutes of Hans not saying a word, the ponies sighed and left. This was to the relief of the Obersoldat. He went back to sleep, only to be rudely awakened once again by a pony he had not seen yet. She seemed more scared than he was. The Princess, who Hans learned through context that her name was Celestia (and that Twilight was also a princess), told him that they would monitor everything he said and did. His “Empty 40” and “Looger” would be returned to him if he co-operated. The white pony sat down and stared at Hans, before finally being able to speak up.
“W...who are you?” she asked
“As I have told all of you, I am Obersoldat Hans Fischer. I am with the Waffen-SS paramilitary group in Germany” said Hans, knowing the pony didn’t understand most of it, “But you can call me Herr Fischer”.
“O...okay. My name is Anneliese. Pleasure to m...meet you, Hair fisher.”
“Yes, anyways, I need to know where I am. What city and country, and is there any way I can get to Odessa, German Reich?”
“N...not that I know of, but you’re in C...Canterlot, Equest...t...ria”.
“I have one more question for you, okay Anneliese? You must listen carefully”.
“Yes, Hair fisher”.
“Do you feel appreciated?”
“W...what’s that supposed to mean?”
“I’m just wondering. You’re clearly above everybody else. You have the best colour coat, hair, and eyes. Quite beautiful, if I say so myself”.
“W...what are you getting at here? Are you h…”.
“I’m saying that you are better than all other ponies in the world, your kind. Blonde mane, blue eyes, white coat. All perfect. I’m asking you if you feel properly represented in the government und society”.
“The p...princess is perfectly fine. S...she and her sisters are benevolent to us”.
“So a filthy purple is more qualified to run than you? Tell me, do you have any complaints?”
“Well the roads near my home are not that good, but…”.
“Exactly! Something as basic and important as roads, neglected! Those like you would never pass that up!”
“Well pegasi can fly over them…”
“So they must ruin it for the rest of you? Aren’t you tired of shoveling scheisse for the flying ponies, while you with no say in your life? Aren’t you tired of being ruled by those who you know you are superior to? Aren’t you tired of t…”
“Stop. Now” said the princess, as she burst in the room. Twilight got Anneliese and brought her out. Her face told Hans that he had stirred something inside her. Twilight’s showed one of anger.
“What do you think you’re doing?” questioned the princess.
“What needs to be done in your god-forsaken country” replied Hans.
With a sigh, the princess said that she was one of her word, and gave him back his weapons, saying she couldn’t find a way to make it dangerous other than as a melee weapon, which would be useless when her soldiers can either fly or shoot.
Ein Deutsher in das Land der Pony
Hans woke up on the floor of the castle, with everyone he’d met, plus another large, blue pony, standing around looking at him. The Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash had clear looks of guilt on their faces. Hans asked where he was and what happened, and Pinkie explained that she and Dash were going to pretend to kidnap him, but Dash hit too hard, knocking him out cold and giving him quite the stomach injury.
“How could getting hit in the sotmach knock me out?” Hans asked.
“Well, I kicked you in the stomach. You fell backwards and hit your head on the wall and ground pretty hard” explained Rainbow Dash. Hans learned that Anneliese was there too, and that the tall blue pony was Luna, another princess (there were apparently four, but no king or queen). Hans was tired and said he wanted to sleep. Anneliese said she had medical training, that’s why she was there, so she’d share a room with him. Hans refused, but eventually realised he had no other choice, so reluctantly went along with it. At 21:30,they settled in bed. The same bed, because there was only one and Anneliese refused to sleep on the floor. Hans was in no shape to, so they shared the bed.
While Hans attempted to just fall asleep, Anneliese woke him up. Hans asked why she was waking him up at this ungodly hour, and Anneliese replied
“I want to know if what you said was true. Do you really think I am superior to everyone else?”. Of course Hans did not. These things weren’t people, they were ponies. Impossible to truly be Aryan. But, if he could this girl on his side, it would be better than nothing. So sure, she was the best. Hans went on to explain international jewry and communism, but replaced it with the monarchy and princesses. Anneliese swallowed every bit of it. Eventually, she spoke up.
“You...You have really helped me tonight, Hans. I want to talk about this more tomorrow. Please spend the day with me”.
“Ja, ja. That would be OK. For now we must sleep. Guten nacht.”
Frustrated with Hans’ quick reaction to end the conversation, Anneliese rolled her eyes and went to sleep with him.
As Hans and Anneliese exited the hotel again, they were confronted by Pinkie Pie, who bounced in front of them. She look at Hans.
“Hey,” Pinkie said “Me and Dash feel bad about hurting you, so we wanted to make it up to you. Can you guys stop by the Castle again? We want to have this party! We’d like it to be tonight. We can have so mu…”
“No,” Anneliese cut her off, “Me and Hans already had plans. I was going to take him up the mountain and show him… the ‘peak lodge’”.
“Hmmm, sounds like quite the evening. We can do it tomorrow then. Have fun!” Pinkie said as she bounced away.
“Was? Where are we going?” Hans asked.
“Up the mountain. I made reservations to go to the hotel on the peak. It’s just lovely”. Anneliese replied.
“OK, I guess. I’d really rather head back to Ponyville”.
“I know, we have tickets for two days from now.”
“We?”
“Yeah! You and I are heading down the day after tomorrow. The others will lag behind a day.”
“Why are du my personal overseer?”
“Because, they trust me with you, and I like you. Let’s just get to the gondola to the top of the mountain”
Hans was made quite uncomfortable by that statement, he definitely wasn’t looking for horse romance here. He pushed it out of his mind and followed Anneliese to the Gondola. The ride up was 3 damn hours long. By the time they got up, it would be 14:45. Hans tried to sleep, but Anneliese kept talking tom him. Their conversations ranged from petty small talk to talk of the conspiracy by the princesses to keep the white ponies down. Anneliese would insert several sexual innuendos into her speech, sometimes followed by giggling, but Hans was only able to pick upon a few, and he assumed they were mistakes, making him chuckle a little. Anneliese interpreted this as Hans throwing her words back at her. This only solidified Anneliese’s plan. She knew that Hans wouldn’t know what the Peak Lodge was, so this was the perfect surprise.
Once they got to the top of the mountain, Hans said “Der Berg ist wunderbar” in admiration of the German-like architecture and sheer size of the mountain. Anneliese was confused, but didn’t care that much. She gave Hans a tour of the area, bought him a small lunch (she didn’t want to “ruin his appetite”), and checked into the hotel with him. Anneliese told Hans to go out onto the town for an hour, and to meet her back at the hotel room at that time. Hans reluctantly obliged, not wanting to piss off his only suitable ally, but also not wanting to spend another hour outside in the tundra that was the top of the Mountain. He just sat down in a cafe for fifty-five minutes trying to decipher the strange text on their newspapers. He headed back into the hotel at 20:03, two minutes ahead of schedule, but he assumed that it would not matter. He was wrong, of course, as a note on their hotel door said “do not enter until 20:05, Hans”. So he sat there staring at the clock, while employees either gave him weird looks or said “good luck”. Hans really thought that they meant “good luck getting home”, maybe one of the ponies was a peice of shit and told the press. He didn’t know. When the clock hit 20:05, he entered the room, only to notice the many lit candles and rose petals leading into the bedroom. “Fuck no” Hans said, realising what was going on. Hans knocked on the door of the bedroom, only to hear Anneliese say “Come on in, Hansy” in a sexual-like voice. Hans made a cross on his heart and walked in, knowing exactly what he was about to see. Hans was greeting by Anneliese in a sexual pose on the bed, rubbing her crotch.
“Nien.” is all Hans could say.
“Come on…” Anneliese said, moving over and shutting the door before Hans could get out, “This may be our one time here. It’s very expensive, you see.”
“What? It’s a shitty lodge on a mountain, I’ve seen better ones.”
“Have you not figured it out? This is a place where you take your special somepony and...you know, “ Anneliese said, raising her eyebrows and lowering her voice.
“Mein Gott, Anneliese, I do not want to have sex with you. Du are a god damned horse. “
“Oh, sure Hans. I’ve picked up on the way you talk to me. I’ve actually listened. And listen, Hans, I want this. You wouldn’t deny a lady’s request, would you?”
“Jesus fucking Christ, I’m going to hell for even being in this room.”
Anneliese wasn’t paying any attention, she pushed Hans over onto the bed and got on top of him. She opened up a drawer, and said “You’ll love what’s in here...in me”. Anneliese got out a very large, phallic object.
Hans had fucking had it at this point. That was the tipping point.Hans got up and pushed Anneliese to the ground. He was getting back to Odessa, but not before killing every fucking horse he found. Anneliese asked why Hans was doing this, and Hans could only say “Shut up, degenerate whore”.
Ein Deutsher in das Land der Pony
Anneliese began to cry. Hans told her to shut up. When she refused, Hans kicked her in the teeth, sending teeth and blood flying. Anneliese had felt despair beyond anything she had felt before. She thought she had found something to love, but it was only cruel. Hans began to scream at Anneliese, and told her, in German, to get up. He repeated it in English and pulled the pony to her feet. She was sobbing at this point, barely able to walk. This was caused by both the physical and mental pain. Hans pulled out his Lüger and pointed it at Anneliese’s head. He dragged her out of the room, and threatened to kill Anneliese if anyone came near him. He forced his way onto a gondola, and while on the ride, Hans explained to Anneliese what lied in her future.
“When we get to the bottom, then we are getting on the next train to ponyville. Then we are going to capture a pegasus. We’re having said pegasus fly us up the the sky, and hope that I somehow get back home. If I don’t you die. If I do, we’ll see if you come through with me. If you do, then I’m handing you over to the military. I do not know what will happen to you from there, but I can make a guess. You will likely be experimented on or otherwise tortured. Imay be there, I may not be. Sound gut?”
“I thought you said I was special, Hans”.
“What?”
“From the moment I’ve met you, you’ve gone on and on about how special I am. That I am the master race, the monarchs are keeping me down, that I should be in control. What changed? Did I do something wrong?”
“Ja, you did. You attempted to have sex with me, you slut. Besides, I do not think you are special. You are nothing to me. You are a horse, an I bite my tongue for even suggesting that you could be of Aryan blood. Aryans are humans. You are below us. You are below all of us, maybe only one tier above the üntermensch. You can be used to work, I guess, and the Führer loves animals for some reason. Really cares about them. So you might be treated quite well, actually. You would’ve, anyway. But you turned out to be filth. So you will be treated like a lab rat, maybe worse. All in all, no. You are not special. You are not special at all. Now shut the fuck up”.
Anneliese did what she was told, and began to quietly cry for the rest of the trip down. The bleeding stopped for the most part, but she still felt light-headed.And had a massive headache. She slowly drifted off to sleep.
Hans picked up Anneliese, waking her. She noticed that security had arrived, and Hans’ MP40 was aimed at her head. Hans used the same threats he used in the hotel on the guards, who mostly obeyed, and tried to de-escalate the situation. Once Hans was able to to get to the train station, a train bound for ponyville was there. “Lucky”, Hans thought. He got on, the doors closed, and the train left the station.
Hans locked Anneliese in a train car by herself, only to turn around and see Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, and Twilight all standing, wearing necklaces. Twilight was wearing a crown, though, They denounced Hans, and said that with their “elements” they could defeat him. Hans laughed and denied it. Suddenly, the ponies began to yell out random words, and then light up. Hans, startled, just shot Twilight through the neck. This stopped everybody except Hans dead in their tracks. Twilight began to writhe from the pain, and everyone just watched her. Hans savored the moment, and as the others turned around in pure rage, Hans just shot and killed the rest. Anneliese lost what little hope she had at that moment.
Hans sat down and lighted a cigarette, and waited. He knew they couldn’t be the last ponies to stop him, but he was almost proven wrong. He arrived in Ponyville, dragged out a hopeless Anneliese, and dragged her to the hills. Guards eventually dispersed, seemingly giving up if he’s going to not harm anybody else. When he got to the hill he began his hellish adventure in, Hans felt a tremble behind him. This time, all the princesses (sans Twilight, for obvious reasons) arrived, with a look of anger on their faces.
“Obersoldat Hans Fischer,” said Celestia, “You are to be turned to stone for your horrific crimes against EquestriACH!”
Celestia had no time to finish her stupid monologue. Hans just shot and killed the princesses as nonchalantly he killed the others. A few guards tried to rush him, but he killed them to, and reloaded. Guards stayed back after that. That is, until Hans demanded that a pegasus lift him into the sky. A young, blue pegasus volunteered, and lifted him up. Hans hung on tight, warning the pegasus of what was to come if he attempted something funny. Hans saw a small discolouration in the sky, and it was directly above him. Hans was finally about to get home, until he heard a “Stop!”.
That yell came from down below. A large, male pony screamed at the pegasus to stop aiding Hans, and come down. Hans threatened to kill the pegasus if he did not continue upwards. Hans wished he had a grenade so he could kill them without letting go. The pegasus stopped going up, and weighed his options. Hans ended the argument early by firing into the air, startling those on the ground and causing the pegasus to go up faster than before, despite objections from the big white pony. Hans reached the discolouration, and poked his finger inside. He was instantly thrown through the discolouration, unfortunately losing a grip on Anneliese. She fell to her death, as nobody was able to catch her in time.
When Hans was back in the cave, he could strangely see the exit. He ran through, and saw the camp manned only by 5 men. They took him back to the main camp in Odessa, where he was discharged for injury.
Ein Deutsher in das Land der Pony
Hans sat on the street 4 years later, in 1946. He was lucky enough to flee to West Germany, in an area under French control. He just sat there smoking a cigarette, watching as people walked by. He had the day off today, and he had never told anybody about the events that went down in the cave in Odessa. He never forgot about it, but luckily the rest of the world did. He wouldn’t wish that fate on anybody.
He also didn’t forget about his time in the SS. He missed the people he fought with. The people he fought under. He was not ashamed of what he had done. HE put out his cigarette and walked home. In his apartment, he began to whistle his favourite song. When he got to the words, he sang.
