The life and times of Lafayette Ryder

“Oh, God it’s hot out today.” Twilight bitches as we walk into town. I just smile and nod, the heat doesn’t affect me anymore so nothing seems out of the ordinary… well besides Pinkie’s sudden visit and AJ sprinting up to use.

“Hurry…Now…Mah brother… Sumthing’s wrong… Follow meh.” Applejack gasps for air between each word and starts to head back to Sweet Apple Acres as soon as she spits out the last of her message. Thinking of how long it would take us to run or even drive to the farm I take the quicker option and just teleport us all to Mac’s homestead.

We land right outside the kitchen door and a sweat covered Big Mac runs out to greet us.

“Carmel passed out earlier while we were in the farm, Shy’s tryin’ but he won’t wake up. Can you help?” he explains the situation quickly and looks at me desperately.

“I’ll see what I can do.” I walk past Mac and into the kitchen where Fluttershy is sobbing and asking Caramel to wake up. I kneel down beside her and start taking the tan stallion’s vitals. “Calm down now everybody,” I say as Flutters hyperventilates next to me and Mac and AJ pray fervently by the table. “It’s just a case of heatstroke, not even a serious one at that. Twilight, come here.” She walks over and stands next to me. “You’re a doctor, right?”

“Well, I do have a PHD in medical sciences but I’ve never actually worked in a clinic or…”

“Do you know what needs to be done to treat heatstroke in a pony?”

“Yes, but I don’t think that I could actually do it,”

“Don’t worry about that part; just tell me step by step what to do and I can do it.”

“OK then,” Twilight proceeds to instruct me on what medications to push intravenously and how to lower Caramel’s body temperature back to normal. I follow her directions to the word and within ten minutes our patient is awake and well again.

“Oh thank Celestia!” Mac says triumphantly as he and Flutters both embrace Caramel. “An thank you two as well, I don know what we’d of done if ya weren’t here.” Mac kisses Caramel on the cheek and looks ecstatic as he thanks us, Caramel just looks tired.

“How come you’re so good at all that Lafe?” AJ asks me curiously. “Here I was thinkin you used ta be a writer, an now ya become a doctor at the flip of a hat.” She eyes me suspiciously.

“Chill out AJ, I was a paramedic when I was in college; it’s like one step under a doctor. I still remember how to start IV’s and push drugs and help people, or in this case ponies.”

“Well Ok then, just seemed odd to me… oh, I’m not feeling so well now.” Applejack falters but I catch her.

“Right now I want everyone in this room to drink a gallon of water, we’re all dehydrated from this damn heat and I don’t want anypony else getting heatstroke,” I look over at the door as it opens. “Perfect timing Dash, you drink up too and after you’ve gotten some water in you I need you to fly over to Ponyville and warn them about the risk of dehydration and heatstroke. Tell everypony to drink plenty of water whenever they feel even a little thirsty and to not stay outdoors or in direct sunlight for too long if they can help it. If anypony feels faint, dizzy, weak, or anything along those lines have them taken to the hospital immediately. Got it?”

“Uh, OK,” the multicolored Pegasus stares at me blankly. “I just came over because I saw Applejack running into town like something was wrong. What’s up?”

“Caramel passed out from the heat,” Fluttershy explains quietly.”Lafayette and Twilight came over as soon as Applejack found them and helped out.” The shy Pegasus resumes nursing her husband and passing out glasses of water to us all.

“Hmm, well it does seem to be really friggin hot out today, I’ll see if the weather factory knows anything.”

“After,” I remind her. “You warn the town about the heat.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” she waves me off as she walks out the door. “I’ll get it done alright!” she flies off into the sky and veers left to avoid Derpy Whooves who is making her rounds as mailpony. Derpy lands roughly outside and brings a mouthful of letters for Big Mac. Mac takes the mail, mostly bills, and Flutters offers Derpy a glass of water and warns her of the heat.

“Yep, I noticed it was a hot one when I went up to Cloudsdale this morning, boy was it warm up there! I wasn’t there for five full minutes and I was already sweating pretty badly. Well have a good day everypony, I got to finish my rounds.” She smiles while looking at Flutters and me simultaneously, left eye at Shy and right eye at I, and leaves.

“Make sure to drink plenty of water derpy!” Twilight calls out to the somewhat ditzy mare.

“Ok, will do!” she replies.

I look over and see Caramel trying to stand up. “Here, lemme help you up.” I say as I walk over to him. He grunts and manages to stand once I lift him by the chest.

“Do ya think ya could help me over to the sofa?” he asks me.

“Sure thing.” I tell him as I half walk; half carry him over to the couch. Damn, he may look lean but he must weigh two hundred pounds easily, maybe more. We reach the couch and I help him sit down.

“Much obliged.” He tells me.

I notice a thermometer on the wall and squint at its reading. “Twi, what is the record high around here on the summer?”

“Righ at one forty. Why do you ask?”

“Well according to this we just hit one sixty five and are still going up.”

“That’s not good.”

I remember Caramel’s gratitude and turn back to him.

“Think nothing of it; well we’d better get headed now. I think I know what’s going on with this weird heat. Bye guys.” I wave to Mac, Flutters, and AJ and pat Caramel on the shoulder. “You all make sure to drink plenty, make sure the kids do to.” They nod as Twi and I teleport back not to the library, but instead to the throne room of Canterlot castle.

“Twilight, go home and watch the boys for me while I deal with this mess.” I crouch down and look her in the yes for a second before kissing her softly. “If something should happen just call for the GreenWinds and a girl named Dulcie, if I fail to fix this they can. Understand me?” she nods and I kiss her again. “I love you Twilight, I love you and our boys so damn much, never forget that and never let them forget it. I’ll see you later… sort of.” I kiss her one last time, I fear it may really be my last time kissing her, and send her home before she can argue or even speak.

I stand up and turn to see Celestia on her throne, or should I say Soulless Sun?