The life and times of Lafayette Ryder

I pop out of existence in one universe and pop back into another one.

“God fuckin’ dammit,” I swear as I land on unsteady feet, “I never wanna do that again.”

I look around at my surroundings; the still dead and rotting orcs, feasting carrion, and deceased family, and I gauge my emotions and thoughts. I feel… normal I guess. All the rage I felt earlier along with the fear, doubt, lust, and chaotic urges are gone. Now all I feel as I gaze upon the fallen, friend and foe alike, is a deep seated depression.

I wipe away a stray tear and make my way through the scattered corpses until I reach the body of my baby girl. I kneel down next to her and wrap my arms around her shoulders.

“Dulcie,” I whisper, “please wake up. Baby girl… Please wake up.”

“Daddy?” she coughs and looks up at me. “Did you fix it daddy?”

“No.” I admit to her as I help her up. “But I will soon.”

“What’s left to do?” she asks. “Can I help at all?”

“Yeah,” I tell her, “I need to talk to you, but first let’s get out of this damn place.”

“Ok, I know of a good spot to talk.” She says, wrapping her arms around me and laying her head against my chest as she speaks. Before I can even blink my eyes we’re somewhere else entirely.

We seem to be in an abandoned park just after dusk. A soft breeze blows past us and makes the leaves on the trees rustle, the swings rock back and forth and the marry-go-round turn slowly.

“Where the fuck are we?” I ask.

“This is the playground where I always used to hang out at with mom after school.” Dulcie explains.

We both take a seat on the swings and Dulcie starts to swing and makes me laugh.

“I’m really sorry sweat heart.” I tell her somberly.

“What for?” she asks mid swing.

“Not being there for you,” I tell her, “I would have given anything to have been here back then and spent time with you. I wish I could’ve been there. I really do.” I bite my lip and try not to cry as a rush of guilt washes over me. “I’m sorry Dulcie… I’m so… Sorry.”

“Daddy,” I feel a small, soft hand rest on mine and close around it, “it’s Ok.”

“No,” I deny, “it’s not ok. I should have been there for you… I should have… I dunno but I should have done things better, done ’em right, done something.”

“Daddy, look at me.” I look at her. “It’s ok. Really it is. We ended up here and now everything’s going just-”

“Shitty.” I finish her sentence.

“Well, just lately anyway.” Dulcie argues.

“I guess.” I say.

“So what can I do to help fix all the shittyness?”

“You remember being in my mind right?” I ask.

“Yeah, it was from just after my time as an angel was up until after you got here. I was kinda like your personal guardian angel but more than that.”

“You were a guide for me but you also became a personality of mine.” I explain.

“Really?”

“Yeah. You were the part of my mind that encompassed kindness and compassion, love and tolerance, and all around goodness. When you came here as a real person you left my mind and it started to split up into different parts that ditched me. Now I have to find out what parts of those personalities are really mine.”

“How are you doing so far?” she asks concerned.

“Well I already talked to Dallas, /B/, Molly, and the ideal me and figured out what parts of them were originally mine. You’re number five of six or I guess seven.”

“Who’s left?”

“Jeff, but he’s dead and gone and to be honest I’d rather not even get that particular bit of me back.”

“Who else?”

“I don’t know. It’s some suicidal, depressed bastard, but I don’t know anyone like that. Any thoughts?”

“One, but it’s not about that.”

“What is it?”

“I know which parts of me are in you.” Dulcie hops off her swing and walks over in front of me. She holds her hand out and I place my worn, rough one on hers. “You’re almost always calm and courteous, you’re caring and loving, and you’re always willing to sacrifice anything in order to help others, especially your family.”

“Yeah.” I whisper. “I guess I am.” I stand up and hug my baby girl tight. “Let’s go home,” we’re already there, “and fix all of this.” Dulcie looks around and then up at me.

“What about J-”

“Jeffery is gone and I don’t care, Mr. Depressive is a minor nuisance that I can easily deal with once I have my family and friends back by my side.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, with you and Twi and the boys next to me… nothing could make me sad. Now let’s go fix this whole mess.”

“Ok daddy.” Dulcie says as she takes my hand and follows me over towards the bodies of those I care for.

I kneel down and place a hand on Celestia, murmuring as I do so, and then on Discord, and finally on my beloved Twilight. As I touch each of them they open their eyes and gasp for breath.

“What-” Celly starts.

“THE-” Discord continues.

“FUCK!?!?” Twilight finishes.

“Good to see you too.” I smile and snap my fingers. All the orcs disappear, all the people of Haven emerge from their shelter, and all is right with the world. I lean over and help Twilight to her hooves, kissing her just as soon as she’s up and standing.

“Let’s go home.” Dulcie suggests.

“Yes,” I agree, “let’s.”

I cross my fingers and we’re all transported back to the library. When we get there my boys and all of our friends are there as well. I look at the smiles on each of their faces, I feel the warmth of their love, and I have no problem ignoring the desperate cries from the suicidal mind within my own.

All is right with the world.

And I couldn’t be happier.