Author's Note

This is the designated clop chapter. May write some more later on if its any good. Feels a tiny bit rushed but meh. More dungeon antics soon to follow.

Chapter 3: Fast times

"This is all my fault" Twilight said as she paced back and forth back in the library. I watched her from the couch, bandages around my injured arm.

"I wish you'd stop saying that" I said, "I'm fine-"

She ceased her pacing and looked at me, "No. I didn't make sure you were settled in well enough. It's unacceptable."

"That's not your job" I told her, "I can work just fine, I just wasn't so lucky looking for jobs up in Canterlot. I tried warehouses, the mines, even the guard. They just looked at me like I was crazy. What else could I do, strip?!"

Twilight shot me a very serious look, "I promise you won't have to do that. I won't let that happen."

"I was kinda joking.."

"Come stay with me. We can find you a more appropriate job down here."

I scratched my chin thinking the offer over. It would eliminate a leg of the train ride I normally had to take when off to conduct business.

"I don't know, I'd feel like a big ole mooch" I said slowly.

"It's no trouble" Twilight assured, "I can clean up the basement and you can take my room-"

I grimaced, holding up my hands. "No, no. Stop, zip it and flip it. If I'm going to stay here then I'll take the basement. I was born in one after all."

"If you're sure," She said, a hopeful and damn adorable smile blooming on her face. "So you will stay with me?"

I nodded. "And I hate to start making requests off the bat but can we just tone down this overprotective stuff a bit? I really don't need a lot of catering to."

She nodded, "Okay. I'll clean a space out for you right away, then we can send a carriage for your stuff-"

I motioned to the backpack on the opposite end of the couch, "Already got my stuff."

"That's everything?" She asked, taking the pack up in her magic. I stood and grabbed one of the straps to keep her from running off.

"You're already doing it. Zzztop it. You haven't listened to a thing I've said have you?"

I noticed another of Twilight's friends watching us from a doorway. Rarity stood with a tight grin on her face.

"Sorry, Spike let me in. I'm not interrupting anything am I?" She asked Twilight with a teasing twinge to her voice.

Twilight dropped my bag, a slight blush on her cheeks, "Er, n-no not at all."

Twilight and Rarity sat in the library's kitchen, two cups of steaming tea between them as they watched the human outside. He worked on an old bookshelf that had been dredged up from the basement. Spike was assisting in the operation.

"Adam is rather feminine, isn't he?" Rarity remarked.

Twilight nodded her agreement. She watched the human scratch the beard that had sprouted on his chin in the week since he had moved in. He maneuvered another board into position, spare nails held in his teeth.

"Yes. But I'm just glad he's not out there dinking around in those old dungeons."

Outside, Spike shouted when a spider crawled out from some hidden recess of the bookshelf. Adam immediately moved to deal with it, hammer held in hand.

wham!

"Stay still you eight-legged freak!" He shouted.

"Well you certainly charmed him quickly" Rarity said, "Don't let Rainbow Dash get to you. He seems perfectly nice."

Twilight knew she was referencing Dash's assertions to anypony who would listen that she had seduced the lone human in the land. As she put it, he "Craved the V"

"That's not what this is" Twilight replied, annoyed. "We're just roommates. I'm keeping him away from having to steal old artifacts and associate with criminals. That's it. Stallions and mares don't have to be..you know, physical all the time."

wham!

"I didn't mean to insult you" Rarity said.

"I'm just helping him." Twilight repeated, sipping her tea.

"Spike!" Adam called, "I need a cremation over here- wait, don't hit the varnish! Oh god! Ah shit!"

He ran across the yard in the other direction holding a flaming can at arm's length.

"I suppose the dear needs it." Rarity said.

Life in Ponyville was peaceful enough and I found myself falling into the alluring harmony of a routine. Twilight had me watch the counter during business hours performing all the expected duties of a librarian- mostly keeping track of the books that our sparse customers came to check out. It was better than nothing but still felt a little too close to busywork for my taste. I attempted to balance it out by being on point with any miscellaneous chores or home improvement that needed doing.

Before I knew it, a couple weeks had passed and the arrival of another quiet friday found me posted up in my designated station at the counter. This was what I hated about routines- it seemed to put time into overdrive.

10:00 AM

I groaned inwardly as the first customer of the day trotted through the doorway. Reluctantly, I cleared away the napkins and other remnants from the bagel and iced coffee that bookhorse had dutifully provided.

I had already gained a fan of sorts among the patrons of the library. Peach Fuzz was her name and awkwardly staring at me over top of books that she pretended to read was her game. Unicorn type, tall among the ponies she was, with an unkempt reddish mane and a light pink coat that fit her name perfectly in texture.

I had mitigated the staring a bit by putting the money earned from the dagger of venom to use. I had ordered a nice new long-sleeved shirt from Rarity. The woolen garment was a pleasant deep blue and after snipping off the lacey bits it fit my strict utilitarian tastes perfectly. As a side benefit, it made my chest and arms less visible to prying pony eyes.

Peach Fuzz gave me a hearty good morning which I returned with a considerable amount of summoned enthusiasm. She seemed to be unaware of the volume of her voice more often than not.

I pretended to study the book ledger intensely while Peach Fuzz went to browse a shelf that she selected at random. Today, however, she dispensed with the half hour or so of aimless browsing and went straight for the approach after only a couple minutes.

With the grace of a rusty shopping cart she rolled up to me with an unblinking smiling face, bumping into a rack of paperbacks and nearly overturning it.

"Sorry" She calmed the swaying rack with her potato magic.

"It's fine" I put on my best public relations face, "How can I help y..." I trailed off as I caught sight of something.

Dangling from Peach Fuzz's mouth was what I could only identify as the string to a tea bag. The paper tab swayed in the air below her jaw.

"Hey you uh...I think you have something caught in your teeth" I pointed out, gesturing to a corner of my own mouth.

Her green eyes widened. "Oh yeah."

I watched as she withdrew from her mouth exactly what I suspected- a tea bag.

"I chew on these 'cause my dad won't let me have soda. I make my own tea as I go" She explained, beaming at me like she had just revealed the secrets of the universe.

"Ahh I see. Well that's a thing," I replied with feigned interest, "What can I help you with today?"

A solid two minutes of silent fidgeting was the response. I was feeling an eye twitch coming on.

"Umm. So, um. y-y-you're really pretty do you have a marefriend." Peach Fuzz choked out at last, phrased like a statement rather than question. It took me by surprise but she could not see the look of shock since she was occupied staring at the
floor. I felt a pang of sympathy for her.

fuck sympathy and lie your pants off My brain shouted.

"I actually do at the moment. I'm sorry."

"That's okay," She was still addressing the floor, "If she's ever mean to you come tell me and I'll smash her with katana pattern alpha-gamma!"

"I will certainly do that." I promised.

With a bellowing shout akin to a donkey braying, she absconded from the library swinging the tea bag around like a flail.

11:30 AM

Applejack swung in to check out a single book- "Citrus Fruit: Elimination and Prevention"

1:50 PM

I flipped through a glossy magazine- "True Baker Stories" featuring headline articles such as "Bake to Thrill" and "Eight Ponies, Seven Muffins- a harrowing tale" I was alone in the library, accompanied only by the constant ticking of the wall clock.

The door whined as it swung open and a familiar blue Pegasus hovered inside, a book tucked under an arm.

"Heyyy" Dash greeted.

"Good afternoon" I returned while she flopped the book on the counter.

"Daring Do and the Primal Caverns" I repeated the title as I marked it as returned in the ledger. The cover depicted the titular character in some deep cavern, swinging a torch to ward off what looked like crystalline scorpion type creatures. A stallion with long, flowing golden hair clutched her leg in fright.

"Heh. Are these books any good?" I asked.

"I like 'em" Dash said. She hovered up to eye-level, resting her forehooves on the counter. "You want to know what my favorite part was?"

"What's that?"

She leaned forward, "The part where the sexy librarian kisses the awesome pegasus."

I smiled and gave a laugh. "Hmm...mediocre"

"Ouch, dude. I made that up on the spot, c'mon." Dash leaned further forward and our mouths met. There was a brief but furious battle of the tongues and then she separated.

"Doing anything tonight?" She asked.

"Nah. Want to meet at the usual?"

She nodded, "See you there."

3:45 PM

Alone again with my thoughts, I found my fingers tapping the object in my pocket rhythmically. The compass. I kept it close out of habit but it felt like ages since I had touched it. My hand slithered into the pocket and I noticed not for the first time, how flawlessly smooth and round it was. It had to be a perfect shape, I just knew. No memories came to me at the moment but I had faith in the thing. The magic within it had to be perfect as well, to be worthy of inhabiting such a geometric wonder.

"Adam?"

I nearly jumped at Twilight's voice and found her suddenly standing next to the counter staring at me, a stack of books floating in her magic.

"Oh, hey boss" I smiled at her.

She chuckled, "You were really zoned out there. I don't blame you on days like this. Anyway, it's a quarter past four. You're off."

A quick look at the clock confirmed as much. That was actually pretty weird. I knew a half hour hadn't passed, it shouldn't have been even five minutes. I cleared the counter off and stowed the ledger in the appropriate cabinet in somewhat of a daze but the promise of the weekend swept the strange occurrence out of my mind.

A few hours after night swept over the land, I sat in the Ponyville park. I'd never be caught dead in a park at night back on earth but with the threat of rabid hobos removed from the equation, it was relaxing. The blanket of shadows was nice and cozy, a courteous shroud of anonymity to do kinky things without scrutiny.

Rainbow Dash sat atop me as we continued the oral wrestling match from earlier. She ran her hooves up underneath my shirt and her hooves kneaded my chest while I massaged her backside, each hand full of warm flank.

The moonlight mushroom made an appearance, sprouting angrily from my open zipper and pressing against dash's soft lower stomach. She lifted herself up and I aligned the docking as she lowered herself on me. The cool of the night air gave way to tight moist warmth.

"Ready?" She whispered in the darkness. I gave her buttocks a sharp slap and my fingers pressed into the mounds of flesh in response. She wrapped her legs around my torso anchoring herself as she began to thrust.

I grunted at the jackhammer-like assault. Dash increased her pace, intimate parts clutching at my own harder and faster.

"ooof!" I let the sound escape as she drove her knees into my sides, making it clear there were no brakes on this ride. I broke our kiss and panted for a few seconds before she placed a hoof on my cheek and turned my head back towards her and another smooch.

I shifted my hands to her hips when the yogurt catapult became ready to fire. She arched her back and raised her face to the sky. I darted one hand to her throat and held a firm, non-strangulating grip. Her eyes opened in surprise.

"Y-yeah!" She cried. And in one final thrust, I came within Rainbow Dash. Some out there across the multiverse would call me a subhuman degenerate. Others would applaud me for accomplishing a dream. I cared not a whit for either as I emptied into her in spurts of ecstasy. She gave a contented sigh, the iron grip around my torso slackening.

Dash slumped forward and planted a few kisses down my neck as we caught our breath. "Sweet....no-thing!" I whispered in her ear and she softly laughed.

"You're a goof" She told me.

I don't know how long we sat connected in the dark when something caught my eye.

Across the grassy soccer field in front of us, a street lamp illuminated a wash of the park, the far side obscured by the black silhouette of a tree line. Something stepped into the light.

"Hey Dash?" I asked.

"Yeah, babe?" She asked dreamily, raising her head.

"There aren't supposed to be timberwolves here, right?"

"Of course not. No way-" And then she turned around.

"We should probably go" I said as something stepped forward, glowing yellow eyes blazing.

The creature might have been a timberwolf at one point in time, but something had gone horribly wrong. A lump formed in my throat.