Author's Note

He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you.

Friedrich Nietzche, Beyond Good and Evil

Interview: Who Will Go For Us?

Z: Our friend is stable, but my concern is now for you. From your face, I think this tragedy is nothing new.

S: I’ve… I’ve seen things, yeah.

Z: I thought as much, when first we met.

S: I didn’t have a choice. That thing was going… It was sick. It was going to kill us.

Z: This of all things I do not doubt. I assume the ponies would have preferred a rout?

S: I think Twilight would have wanted me to just scare it off. I think what’s her name… Fluttershy. I think Fluttershy wanted us to talk to it? Christ on a bike.

Z: Ponies are not a warrior race, though they can still take the field with grace. Guards they have, strong and brave, but in the face of death they tend to… cave.

S: I felt like a monster, Zecora. I’ve never felt like that before. I guess… back home, it’s not like we just kill each other all the time for fun. Killing someone back home is awful, but you understand it. It makes sense in context. Here? The first thing I do after meeting Twilight and Fluttershy is pump a monster full of lead. That wouldn’t have been so bad. But then it just… it was bleeding out. Malthus took out the legs. And she just… I had to help it die. I couldn’t leave it there to suffer.

Z: I do not condemn this thing you’ve done. Virtue shines most after we’ve won. You did what was right, a hunter of the Gods.

The sound of Samantha reloading the Judge.

S: Do your people war, Zecora?

Z: Often yes, in times before. And even now, some play at war.

S: In my world, the country I live in is destroyed. All the other ones are the same, or will be soon. Everything fell apart. We’ve been so busy shooting each other… The machines I use are not new, Zecora. They’re old. You told me you kept track of lore.

Z: Yes, lore, the knowledge of the times preceding.

S: Well, we’re losing ours. In bits and pieces. We’ve forgotten. I don’t even know what all we forgot. I’m gonna tell you something because I trust you. You can’t tell the others. Malthus knows.

Z: I swear upon my mother’s face, my father’s eyes.

S: There are three of us here. Three different sides. Malthus and I aren't enemies, but we aren’t really friends. But the other one? The other one is a monster, Zecora. He’s awful. I’ve met him only once. He hurt that pony. He is a monster… and he’s human. He’s both, because they ain’t mutually exclusive. Get it?

Z: I believe so.

S:Okay. Well, I’m fixin’ to deal with him, or end it, one way or another. He can’t keep doing this. He’ll hurt and kill until he gets his way. People like him always do. There are always people like him. They use words like acceptable losses and collateral, and it’s all just paperwork when the tenements go up or there’s lead in the water or hand raisin’ innocents get shot in the open. Just paperwork and reports. Processin’.

Z: Samantha, you are upset. I do not understand some of what you say, but… is your home so terrible as this? Is that why you left?

S: I’m an explorer. I left to explore. They sent me here to do that, and then… then I don’t know. I didn’t really think about what came after.

Z: Well, you certainly have much left to explore.

S: Yeah. Think I scared Twilight when I put that manticore down. Manticore. Fuckin’... man.

Z: It is certainly possible. Twilight Sparkle is a pony most wise, yet sees the world still with wide child’s eyes. Her lore is steadfast and her heart is strong, but there are things about which she is wrong.

S: I take it you aren’t bothered.

Z: Suffering should be circumscribed, yes. In the deserts, they say: What kindness lies at the edge of a blade, but the world’s ending and the thirst to sate? It is a hard word I struggle to relate, for no zebra there bemoans their fate. They know what it is to live and die, and seldom is the one who asks why.

S: Sounds a little like home. So she’s younger, right? Young adult, I guess. Hasn’t seen much violence in her life, probably. Yeah, I guess that would all be pretty shocking… Damn. Poor girl. That pony is stable, you said. What does stable mean?

Z: He will live another day, but a heavy price he has paid. He will never walk, I fear, nor hold the one he may hold dear. He speaks and sees, and talked a bit; he requires one of us to sit. It is a sad thing to relate.

S: Shit.

Z: Vulgarity hides a troubled heart. Of your explorations, I regret the start.

S: It’s not been going well, no. Um… sorry. For the cursing. Habit.

Z: I have heard much.

S: Heh. I bet you have.

Z: I am a collector of sorts, you see. Perhaps we’ll trade stories, you and me--there’s naught else to pass the time, and it will be a chance to, ah, break my rhyme.

S: Heh, nice one.

Z: I try. Before you I lay my burden down, that I might speak unchained. I am allowed this grace when I take on my holy mission. Tell me of your homeworld, Samantha.

S: So you connected the dots. I live on a planet called Earth. We have one moon, like you have. It’s a lot like here, actually. It used to be green and now it’s… a lot less green in some places. I was born in a town called Amarillo, and when it was destroyed my father took us to a town called Little Rock, and we were only there long enough to see what happened, and then from there to Shreveport. There were a few years there, and then it fell. After that, we wandered.

Z: To foreign armies and terrible foes? The lores of all races have such tales. You seemed to suggest something else before.

S: Civil War. It ain’t even two sides now but four or five, all squabbling, shifting alliances. Bad men get into high offices, worse men do their work for them, and monsters rule the street. Idiots try to make things better and they botch it. Nothing works--go one way or go another, either way we’ll slip down the hole. It’s like quicksand. It couldn’t last, Z. They fucked it up forever and ever, and everybody who talks like one day they’ll be sunshine and rainbows is sellin’ somethin’.

Z: A grim perspective, to be sure. Your people are scattered and the tribe is perhaps no more. What have you done since your childhood? Are you a hunter? Do you have a new tribe, or do you serve only yourself.

S: I was a courier.

Z: A messenger--another archetype. The lone messenger on the lonely roads.

S: Jus’ me and my horse.

Z: What is this horse?

S: You know, it just occurred to me how fuckin’ weird this is. A horse is an animal on Earth. We ride them. I like horses--when I was a courier I would get a bonus every now and a then and I’d spend a bit in town to find apples or somethin’ to feed them. They look… well, actually they look kind of like that pony Malthus brought in. No horns or wings or nothin’. And way, way bigger.

Z: Already you have been a boon. Anteans! True Anteans! By the Eternal Fires of Kilmasa this is surely a legend worth bearing. When at last I return home, your name shall live forever, truly. Samantha who has ridden on the backs of the Anteans!

S: Heh, giants, I guess?

Z: Yes, thought long dead. They were gentle but feared by ignorant ponies. What a cruel lot they were given.

S: I liked horses. I still do. I thought about them wh--well, I think about them sometimes. I wish I had one with me. It’d be rough going in these woods though. But I was a Courier. I carried letters from town to town, keeping connections alive. Personal stuff, business deals, lovers’ letters… everything and anything. I’ve carried medicine and food and weapons. I got a job to carry the ugliest dog once--fifty miles with this spoiled thing half-hanging out my backpack. Couriers aren’t trusted--people think we’re dirty or suspicious, just cause we’re never around for long. Some couriers? They’re shitsacks. But most of us were good. We just wanted to help, and we knew we were good enough to make it. When you’re tough, you should use that strength.

Z: So you are a warrior, then. And your race seems to be one of warriors, fallen perhaps on hard times. But you have no hope that your honor will be restored?

S: Warriors? Makes us sound like we had honor in the first place.

Z: You certainly seem to possess at least a modicum.

S: Uh… thanks. Thank you, I guess.

Z: Tell me more of this place. Tell me of your battles and let me judge your worth then.

S: My… oh. I’ve… I mean, I haven’t really been anything I would call a battle. Not as a combatant. The closest I’ve come is quick shootouts and massacres. When I was young, my hometown was destroyed. I… my momma died there. It was horrible. The weapons we build are terrifying. Hundreds can die in seconds. Thousands, even. Do you see this? This is a gun. Have I shown you this before? Nevermind. It’s complicated but it shoots metal bits using gunpowder. It’s like a tiny explosion that propels the bullet out.

Z: Hmmm. Like saltpeter mixture. I know of this! Inefficient, but I suspect that your alchemists have perfected it. It seems your people fight like mine once did, with alchemical fire. Then I can better imagine what you speak of… that is troubling.I am sorry for your loss, Samantha. My heart grieves with you.

S: Thank you.

Z: I will concede that you do not see yourself as a warrior, but would you protect your tribe from foes? I still suspect that within your chest beats a warrior’s proud heart. That you do not delight in slaughter and atrocity only confirms it.

S: I… I don’t know. I’m just me. I have a gun. I’ve fought some. Mostly I run--because there’s no point in fighting if winning is impossible. I tried to help who I could, and I couldn’t help a lot of folks. I just did what I could.

Z: Such is the way of all things.

S: I guess you wanna know about Earth, though, so as long as you don’t mind me not talkin’ about all the dyin’, I could do that. West Texas is… well, Texas in general is big. Everything there is big…

T: Hello? Samantha? Zecora?

Z: Hello, Twilight, my friend. Come and join us. How does Fluttershy fare?

T: Better, now that the other human is gone. Er… sorry. That probably sounded mean.

S: Nah, I ain’t exactly comfortable with him either, so I get it. I… I mean, is she…

T: Hm?

S: Nevermind. Is she okay, otherwise? She wasn’t near enough to get hurt, but she seemed pretty flighty and I was a little concerned that it would be too much for her.

T: She’s alright.

S: Good.

Z: Now, Twilight Sparkle, while you are still with us: I know you too are a collector of lore. This is a fine fount of it. I have learned much this day.

T: Heh, well, I am a scholar first and last. I’m not exactly… I mean…

Sighs.

T: Sorry. Samantha, I was actually wondering if I could ask you some questions.

S: Shoot. Uh… I mean, go for it. Or… argh. Yes, ask away.

T: Haha, I knew the second one. This talisman is better than the other one, it can understand most idiomatic expressions! Isn’t it fascinating?

S: It’s pretty damn great, if you ask me.

T: I do love it when ponies can appreciate well-done enchantments! Right, anyway… Well, first, what is that?

S: The Judge? Ah. Well, you seem like a smart pony, so I guess you’ll have questions I can’t answer about the finer points. See, this is a bullet? Or, well, it’s a casing. See, inside of here, they put powder. This thing, with the little punched hole in it? That was a tiny explosive--

T: A WHAT?

S: Whoa, whoa, hold your horses. Uh…

T: The translator mangled that one.

Z: Anteans! She has ridden the mighty Antean and communed with the lost giants.

T: A-Anteans are a myth, Zecora…

S: Don’t know about those. Horses are animals on Earth. They kinda look like you, but all browns and blacks and whites instead of purple, and with no horns or wings. They’re about… I mean, usually, like this tall. Or taller.

T: Oh… oh Celestia, so you mean…

Z: Do you see what I mean?

T: Oh goodness, I do. Please, go on. You were talking about explosions but then I want to hear about where you come from! This is a huge find!

S: Well, the hammer, this thing? Hits the little charge and that ignites the powder, and that forces this bit through the gun barrel faster than a fat pig for slop. Okay, yeah, that’s not gonna translate. Really fast. Fast enough to do a lot of damage, basically. This gun is actually pretty old, from the 2010’s.

T: Goodness. Brute force, but also elegant in a way. May I see it?

Pause.

S: Sure. Be… Please be careful. Let me unload it… here.

T: Thank you! Oh gosh, real new technology without any magic, it’s… ugh. It smells awful.

S: Yup. After awhile you get to like the smell. at least, I did.

T: I could never like that smell.

S: Just… don’t drop it. Sorry, that magic is kind of making me feel all cold and anxious agin--no, no it’s fine! Don’t worry. I need to get over it. Any other questions?

T: W-well… Sorry. About my magic. I mean… I’ll find out what’s wrong, I promise! There’s no magic where you’re from? Where are you from, anyway? Zecora’s explanation confused me a little…

S: Well, on Earth, magic is just a story. Made-up stories, fiction, myths, legends… they have magic sometimes. But it’s usually poorly defined or obviously based on real-life things and it’s not something anyone believes is real. I’m from Earth. And by that I mean… okay. It’s like… I’m not a scientist, so don’t ask me to explain how it works. I’m just a drifter and a Courier. Earth is in one universe and we are in another one. I think. Probably? At least, that’s what I understood.

T: So you… crossed the Veil?

S: The what?

T: Sweet Celestia… Thaumus’ shaggy beard.

S: Uh… pardon?

T: That shouldn’t be possible, Samantha. Ponies have been trying to pierce the Veil for over a thousand years. Nopony even tries anymore because we assumed it was impossible! The Veil’s magic is wild, raw, unfiltered. It’s like wrestling with fire itself. It almost burned Starswirl the Bearded’s horn right off when he tried to cross over!

S: Well, I stepped through a glowy circle gate. It sucked.

T: You have to tell me what it was like! No, notes! UGH the one time I forget something to write on… no! No, in my saddblebags. Perfect. Now explain.

Samantha chuckles.

S: Ain’t you a cute little student. Sorry, I envy you. I never really got much schoolin’. What did it feel like? It sucked, mostly. I couldn’t even remember my name for probably an hour. Walking was really hard… I really wasted the whole first day just trying to feel like I wasn’t dying. I got to see the sun rise, though. It was… It was pretty breathtaking. I wonder if how emotional I got durin’ all that was part of crossing over and being all confused.

T: No, I think it was just Celestia! I used to love watching her raise the sun.

S: What?

T: Celestia! Princess Celestia raises the sun every morning, and now that she’s back, Luna rules over the moon and the night.

S: You… holy shit you’re serious. Like, it's not just a metaphor or some shit.

T: You look a little… uh, ill at ease?

S: That’s impossible.

T: No, it’s very possible! I could explain how it works, mostly, but I’m not sure you have the thaumaturgical knowledge to really--

S: No no no no. No that’s just not possible. Even I know planets go around suns. Not the other way around.

T: Oh gosh, like with gravity? I mean, other systems do that, but that would be terrifying. The idea of falling forever around a huge star burning like that… Gosh.

S: Let’s… let’s move on to the next question before I lose my grip on reality, if you kindly would.

T: Right, well, I was wondering about your species in general….

F: Um… hello.

S: Oh, uh… hi.

Silence.

S: Um… I was wondering… I was wondering if you were alright. And about him, I guess. Is he…?

F: O-Oh, he’s fine! He’s doing well. I mean… considering.

S: Yeah.

F: But I think he won’t be safe to move for a little longer. Even with Zecora’s Zebra magic and Twilight’s spells, he’ll have to stay here another day at least. I mean… I hope it’s not a bother but we can’t move him safely just yet…

S: No, no it’s fine. It’s a big castle! I’d make room for the little guy if it weren’t. Mind if I sit against the wall?

F: Not at all.

S: Ah. It’s good to be off my feet…

Silence.

S: You’re a quiet sort, aren’t you?

F: Oh my goodness, I’m sorry. I’m just…

Unintelligable.

S: Didn’t quite catch that, but I can guess. It’s alright. Nothin’ wrong with bein’ a little shy. Or just quiet in general. It’s been a long day and a hard one. I just wanted to make sure you were alright. I know you didn’t get hurt… I mean, you didn’t right?

F: Unintelligable. No.

S: Good… good, I’m glad. But even when you don’t get shot at or mauled or any of that, you can still get hurt in here, right?

Sam taps her temple.

S: A lot of people forget that, but I know it can be hard.

F: I’m… scared. I think you were right, that it was sick. Manticores are fierce, but they don’t like loud noises. It should have run away when you made that huge boom! But it didn’t, and I don’t know why… unless it was afraid of something else, and something that can scare a manticore is… gosh.

S: Yeah, I feel the same way.

F: I… I sort of heard what you were saying to Zecora. About having to put it down.

S: Ah.

F: I…

Unintelligable.

S: Sorry, if I need to go, I--

F: No, it’s alright. I’m always… I’ve always been anxious. I can’t help it. I think you were right. That was the right thing to do.

S: You think so? With how you reacted I expected you to be appalled.

F: I don’t enjoy it… I love animals, even scary ones, and I would never want one to suffer. But Twilight doesn’t really understand them, so she didn’t understand… I mean, sometimes an animal can’t understand its own pain. It can’t stop hurting, and you just have to do something very hard and very sad, because it’ll never be better. When I know that one of my animal friends is very, very sick and that there isn’t anyway to cure them… Well.

S: I understand.

F: I know. Twilight wouldn’t, at first. She is a very smart pony! I don’t mean she isn’t! Eventually, I think she would understand. But sometimes she’s… she doesn’t really get life sometimes. But it’s okay. I love her and she always tries so hard, and it’s not like I expect every pony ever to understand.

S: Thank you. She seemed really upset and freaked out. I didn’t want her first impression of me, and of humans in general, to be that we were monsters.

F: I was a little worried at first… Perique talked about one of you.

S: That his name? Perique. I like it.

F: Y-yes, that’s it. He talked about… well, it was very bad.

S: I know. I know who he’s talking about. And you’re right. He’s right. That guy is a monster. He scares me. He doesn’t care who he hurts. I don’t want him to hurt any of you. It isn’t fair--it’s not right. He’s only here because of me, and because I came here. I have to keep him from doing this again. This poor pony…

F: Do you have to… um…

S: Yes.

F: Oh.

S: I don’t want to, but I do. I’m afraid that I’m just enjoying being angry… but I don’t want this to happen again. What if next time he finds some poor little town of you guys? He’s got body armor and a machine gun and stealth fields and he’s nuts. None of this is right. I didn’t mean for this to happen. I just was supposed to explore.

F: I’m scared of him. I think I might be scared of you, too. But I think you’re a good pony. Good person, I mean. Sorry…

S: It’s okay. And… thanks.

F: Be careful, Samantha. I mean the normal kind, but also…

Unintelligable.

S: Sorry, again?

F: Sometimes ponies change. Be careful, okay? And you should talk to Mr. Malthus, because he’s your friend.

Short pause.

S: Right. I will.