Return to Sender

Return to Sender

AmyL

The House Guest

Humid, hot and hazy. The past few weeks were unbearable in Writing, Pennsylvania, cloudless skies sending the rays of the sun to scorch the earth around a one-storied house in the rural areas.

Another perfect day for Craig Rhodes to take a nap, snoring peacefully over a formless dream, waiting for his landlord and friend, Anna Butler to come back from her workout to get dinner ready.

“We have a purple unicorn as a house guest for dinner tonight, Craig. Do you mind?” asked the woman above the couch.

He opened his eyes from his nap, turning towards the sound of his landlord waking him up. When his eyes adjusted, they took in the blond-haired woman for a moment, then a purple pony with a fat little horn sticking out from the forehead leaning against his friend's waist.

At least, he hoped he was not being delusional to what he was seeing.

When Craig closed his eyes to make sure that he was not dreaming, the unicorn coughed nervously. “Ah, my name is Twilight Sparkle, sir? Your friend Anna found me unconscious alongside the road.” She twitched her tail, her purple eyes glancing briefly at the man's brown ones. “I told your friend about where I come from, what happened to myself and how I am unfamiliar with the customs of your lands.”

“Anna, how in the hell is she speaking? I mean-” Craig pointed down at Twilight, clenching his hands together. “And why the hell is she staying over here?”

“Because I am the landlord and I can invite anyone I want?” Anna smirked back, her blue eyes teasing him mercilessly. “Miss Twilight Sparkles is staying over for dinner and for the night. Oh, she will be sleeping on the couch, so you better spruce it up once you get up.”

Craig stared down at the unicorn in confusion, her comicallly large purple eyes silently pleading with him as she pawed anxiously at the ground with a hoof. “Pleased to meet you, Miss Twilight Sparkles,” he said in a mild voice.

He stood up and turned to pick up the strewn blanket to fold it; a stray thought running through his head of a large plush purple unicorn that he gave to his sister over two decades ago... before the fire...

“Thank you, Mr. Craig Rhodes, for allowing me to stay for dinner,” Twilight said behind him, glancing at the confused being fixing up the couch. “I promise I will tell my story over dinner tonight.”

Craig stared down at the purple unicorn, trying to find something to say as the smell of steamed broccoli drifted in the living room.

Weather. You can never go wrong with the weather, especially with a girl, er filly, whatever, he thought, then coughed. “So, um, how do you find the weather today, Miss Twilight Sparkles?”

The unicorn glanced around the living room, noticing the decor. A couch, some cushioned chairs, a poster of Anna wearing a red, white and blue uniform with epaulets on the shoulders on one side of the room. A huge oak desk spanning several feet rested against one corner of the room with several plastic bins and a trash bin right next to it. Up on the wall near the desk were a bunch of papers pinned to a bulletin board.

She opened her mouth to say something but was interrupted by Anna shouting from the kitchen, “Time for dinner you two! Come right in!"

The human and the unicorn stared at each other, then silently walked through the doorway leading to the kitchen.

“Twilight, you can sit there and Craig, you can sit over there,” Anna directed, pointing at each wooden chair with a mat on the seat. “Steamed broccoli and salad for the both of you.” Sighing in relief over the name of a familiar food, Twilight hopped on the chair and pulled it forward, looking down at the settings of the table.

“Broccoli, a plant of the cabbage family. Subspecies Brassica oleracea italica!” The unicorn immediately stopped rambling, seeing that both Craig and Anna were staring at her in disbelief. “Ahem,” she planted her hooves together and dropped her gaze to the round table before her, unsure of what else to say.

“Miss Twilight Sparkles told me that she is from the mystical, magical and wonderful land of Equestria that consists of unicorns, earth ponies and pegasuses,” Anna took control of the conversation, sitting down at the table and scooping out the steamed broccoli onto each plate.

“Actually, the plural of pegasus is pegasi, and my name is Twilight Sparkle,” Twilight interrupted Anna with a smile, lifting her hoof to pick up the fork. She stabbed the broccoli and brought it up to her mouth to start chewing on it.

“Actually, the English plural would be pegasuses since it is from the Greek word Pegasos, which does not properly form from an us to I plural,” Anna grinned back at Twilight, taking a bite of her own broccoli..

Oh God, save me from this conversation, Craig thought, praying fervently that dinner would end soon without his brain hurting.

“Now, as for Twilight Sparkles, well, your marks on your hind indicate multiple sparkles - hence, Sparkles, not Sparkle.” Anna continued. Her blue eyes darted merrily to her equine guest's, indicating that she was only kidding.

“First, pegasi is the plural where I come from. Second, my 'marks' are cutie marks which indicate a pony's special talent.” Twilight scowled back at Anna, both of them ignoring a glum Craig picking at his broccoli. “Anyway, you're quite correct. I am from the land of Equestria, ruled by Princess Celestia who raises the sun every morning.” she concluded.

“Every morning?” Anna blinked over Twilight's statement.

“Every morning for at least a millennium.” Twilight nodded proudly, hoping that the Princess would soon find her in this world and return her back to Equestria.

“From the east? Does she ever take a vacation? Did she ever get burnt by the sun?” Anna pressed on with her questioning. She started to take another bite to eat, then placed the fork on her plate.

Just how in the world was she able to place a fork in her hands, ah, hooves anyway? A horse, pony, whatever raising the sun while ruling over earth ponies, pegasuses and unicorns? Anna leaned back against her seat. There was plenty to think about even after several minutes of conversation from her guest.

“Of course from the east. No, she does not take a vacation, and of course she does not get burnt by the sun,” Twilight said a bit cross over her guest's flippancy. “She is the caretaker for everyone one of us, beloved by all, defender of the land, compassionate and tender-hearted.”

Craig sighed. This is how it is going to be for dinner, he figured.

“And that is how Equestria was made,” Twilight concluded, perfectly content and relaxed once all the plates were emptied.

“So how is she going to return home?” Craig asked bluntly, turning to face Anna while holding a hand to quiet Twilight's questions. “We need to talk. Anna and I. Alone.”

He stood up and pushed his chair back, glancing from the frowning Anna to the living room and back. Without saying a word, she stood up and followed him through to the other room, til they were out of earshot of their guest. They stood behind the couch, their hands resting on the back while staring at each other awkwardly for a minute.

“Ok, so how did you find this unicorn, who I’d like to point out is a bit of runt, has a fat little horn and is purple. Purple! Also, what made you decide that she needed to be brought over here so she can have a sleepover?” Craig demanded, waving his arm towards the direction of the kitchen.

Anna sighed deeply. “Alright, when I was driving home from work, I saw something lying down on the road. At first, I thought it was an expensive doll that someone accidentally threw out of their car. So I stopped the car, went over to it and noticed that it was breathing. Yes, I was surprised and even more surprised that she uttered a few words about where she was, who she was and who I am."

“I introduced myself, then I asked her where she was from. She was a bit hesitant to answer so I asked if she had any place to stay for the night and she said yes. Now, I am not going to turn her away since she is lost and probably has no one in the world to take care of her except for us,” Anna deeply sighed, gesturing towards the kitchen. “She is alone in the world, has no friends, I will not--”

“I swear on my life and our friendship that I will help Twilight Sparkle find a way home.” Craig saluted, saving Anna the embarrassment of explaining what lengths she would go to take care of the lost unicorn.

“Good,” Anna said with a grateful nod. “I hate to evict you from my house if you said screw it.”

Their wry grins matched one another.

“Twilight Sparkle, come in here please.” Anna turned her head, gesturing to the kitchen for Twilight to come over to the living room.

Anna and Craig stared at Twilight walking uncomfortably into the living room. The unicorn stared back at them both, eyeing their blank expressions with an air of trepidation.

“I promise that you will have a place to stay in my home, and to make sure that you will find a way to return you to your world. Anyway at all my dear, anyway at all,” Anna said, sweeping her eyes to study Twilight’s and Craig's reactions.

“I made a promise to Anna to help you, her guest out, I will make sure that you stay safe, and that you will find a way to get back home,” Craig said.

His eyes narrowed down at Twilight, softening over the memory of a girl just a few years older than him, laughing and smiling as she hugged the plush toy gift she had gotten.

He pushed the memory away. Twilight looked gratefully at the both of them.

“Anything at all Twilight, anything at all”

Anna flung several blankets and a pillow on the couch once Craig left the living room for the night “I apologize that you have to sleep in the living room but Craig needs his personal space,” she said kindly as she down on one end of the couch.

Poor thing, all alone in the world. When I found her along side the road, I thought that she was some sort of toy. Who was more surprised? Myself for seeing an adorable unicorn talk or her when I offered her a place to stay? She laughed aloud while Twilight hopped up on the other end of the couch, resting down on her flank on the cushion and flicking her tail back and forth on the armrest.

The unicorn glanced warily at her, then said “Miss Butler--”

“You may call me Anna. Actually, as my guest, you must call me Anna,” came the cheerful interruption.

“Yes, Miss, ah Anna,” Twilight corrected herself after a short pause.

“Relax Twilight, your princess will find a way to return you home. You told me that you were her faithful student.

Anna's eyes darted wickedly between the direction of Craig's room and Twilight. “You know, since you are going to be spending some time here, why not do a little sight-seeing? Of course, you cannot go outside looking like yourself but you should be able to disguise yourself. Just think of us as your tour guides. After all, we do have your best interests at heart for you to return back to Equestria.”

Twilight looked up at Anna, rising up on her haunches. “Really? You mean, you really would go to all this trouble for me?

“Well, for one, you would not be able to experience the wonderful libraries that are scattered all across the land. You told me that you were a librarian? Why not ask Craig if he can drive you over to the local library so that you can collect some data for a few theses for the advancement of organization and technology?”

Along with Craig getting the hell out of the house. My God, he is starting to get on my nerves just moping in self-pity, sleeping in when I get up at 3am to go to work and when I come back, he still sleeps!

Something clicked in Anna's mind.

You know, he did swear an oath to help her out and the little filly is just the type to go bonkers over the tiniest of things. Dot the I and cross the T sort of thing with the OCD to go along with it.

Twilight's eyes slowly widened. She felt her mood lifting from the gloominess she had sunk into earlier, and her heart was glad for it. None of what had happened to her in the past few hours made any sense. One moment she was sleeping after composing her daily letter to Princess Celestia, the next moment she was waking up near a strange road with two solid yellow lines running down the middle.

If it was not for Anna, I would not know what to do. I mean, cut open in the name of science? That is much horrifying that being exiled, then imprisoned or was it the other way around? A library? That does sound like fun but how large could it possibly be compared to the ones in Equestria?

Twilight's idiotic smile was just another piece of inspiration stirring in Anna's mind.

Craig needs some motivation to get out of the house. Twilight needs to keep her mind occupied so she won’t dwell on being in a strange land far from home and sink into depression. Since she is a librarian and he swore an oath, why not take advantage of them?

Plus the sight of a little unicorn sweetly driving Craig up the wall would be glorious.

Dear Princess Celestia,

Please forgive the horrible quality of the parchment called paper that this letter finds you on; and please also forgive my appalling writing. This writing implement I was given that they call a ballpoint pen is taking some getting used to.
If you are reading this, then it means that I have made it back safely to Equestria . Anna--who is actually called Anna Butler but she told me to call her just Anna--suggested that I should write to you about my experiences regarding the world I am currently stuck in, which is called Earth.

Anna is a human. I intend to study what the term means when Craig Rhodes takes me to the county library. Craig, as he insists on being called, is a tenant in Anna’s home; and what she calls a professional bum living in the past. I think that they are friends, through it’s difficult to tell.

This part of the world is called Writing, Pennsylvania. I am not sure about the population, what type of species and other information but I will endeavour to do quite a bit of research, that is if the libraries on this world are as sophisticated as the ones back in Equestria.
Anna and Craig seem to be nice people, which which is a positive sign regarding the world as a whole. As I mentioned before, it’s named “Earth”-- a bit plain and boring in my opinion. With that said, I was told very firmly that if anyone else found me, I would be turned over to the government authorities and be examined, questioned and possibly dissected for science! I suppose the planet’s name belies a bit of a colourful culture.

With that being the case, I’m all the more grateful for Anna finding me when she did; and deciding to take me in and look after me. I probably wouldn’t be writing this letter otherwise.

There is so much more I want to write down, but for now I need to sleep so I can prepare a disguise in the morning. I need to look like one of the humans if I want to go to the library... an illusion spell should do the trick! I’m glad I spent so much time in the Starswirl the Bearded wing at the Canterlot Library. I wonder if this library has anything like it? I guess I’ll see tomorrow.

Your faithful student,
Twilight Sparkles

P.S I really miss Ponyville, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Spike and you Princess. Good night.