Author's Note

Ok, first off, I'm horribly, horribly sorry for not uploading anything for a month. My laptop got stolen a few days after I uploaded the first chapter of this, so I was without it until I got a new one just a few days ago.
So, for the few of you who've been waiting, here's chapter 2, FINALLY.

(need to knows)
1 - This is based off of and uses the characters and setting from the Mentally Advanced series, if you don't know it go watch before reading . . . yada yada yada . . . ect.
2- Yes, there are intentional "misspellings" and "non-proper grammar" used to isolate and convey the accents and or speaking mannerisms of certain characters.

Other notes ~
I do plan on slowly shifting the story out of just comedy and getting to a point where really serious things are being portrayed alongside the laughs, or sometimes even in place of them. (oddly enough, kind of exactly how Greg progressed as he made the series that has allowed this story to exist). The story's not going to be on a week-by-week timeline, I'll be doing time skips/gaps of inconsistent size between each chapter, however the story will become cohesive with very clear continuity and slowly gain an over-arching storyline.

And don't forget, I do dedicate the larger portion of my writing time and effort to my own actual works of fiction, so any fanfic I produce, including this one, is not going be of any high-level writing quality, as I can't give them the same depth of effort as I give my own stuff.

That it mind, head on down and read away, and by all means tell me what you think. Enjoy :)

The Usual Crap

Twilight’s library was a small display of diversity that early Wednesday afternoon. A unicorn mare, a Pegasus stallion and a little purple dragon comprising its occupants; Twilight, Meteor, and Spike.

“Aye! Late breakfast.” Spike gave a half-efforted announcement as he brought forth two identical plates of pancakes.

Both ponies looked up to see him walking out from the library's narrow kitchen. Twilight was standing in front of some book shelves, reorganizing what she could find that was out of place. Meteor Streak sat at the library’s “reading” table, staring in thought at the manuscript he was working on. The table was supposedly meant for library patrons to sit and read at . . . but since the Ponyville library had no patrons, Twilight and Spike basically just used it as a dining table. Both broke from their near-silent activities when Spike came out however. Meteor gently slid his parchment sheets to the side with a wing and Twilight levitated the dozen or so books she had out down into neat piles before walking over to the table herself.

“So,” Spike broke the silence again as he set both plates down, “two ponies sittin in a library writin n readin? I’m no expert but I don’t think this what a date is supposed to look like.”

“Yeah?” Twilight responded, sitting down at the table. “And what exactly are you basing this off of? Cause I know it’s not personal experience.”

“Oo, burn.” Spike said back with a complete lack of enthusiasm before actually answering. “Lack of dragon-women aside, I was more under the impression that datin was supposed to be something along the lines of eating a fancy dinner, and then going n makin-out or something?”

Meteor looked half-incredulous, though it was still Twilight who responded. “No,” she said, “you might be HALF right about the dinner, but making out with somepony you JUST MET two days ago isn’t date, that’s called being a slut. And the last time I checked, my name wasn’t Rarity!”

“Aye, that makes a lot more sense now that you put it in that context.” Spike admitted. “She’s the only one of your friends who ever does any datin anyway, so she’s kind of all I have to go on for makin assumptions.”

“Well maybe you should try to factor in other things before you make them.” Twilight retorted. “It’s the same thing as using a case study of single patient to gauge a medical treatment. You need to look at a large statistical base of subjects before you can ever make any kind of reasonable judgment.”

“Right,” Spike kept right up, “and Aye don’t exactly have any of that now do I? Like Aye said, all I have to go on is Rarity’s claims and whatever condemning comments about the subject you happen to make. And even if I assume that your own commentary on romance is based on enough observation or whatever, you basically just remark on it like it’s exactly what I was already assumin it is.”

“That’s because that all anypony ever does with it!” Twilight protested it.

“Then doesn’t that mean that’s exactly what it is?” Spike tried to argue a point. “Aye thought the definition of somethin was supposed to be whatever society as a whole agreed it was.”

“What?” Twilight came right back with her part. “Where the hell’d you get a stupid idea like that? Popular opinion has no bearing on the actual reality of a concept. I mean sure, half the ponies in this town are probably dumb enough to believe they could walk through walls if you told them they could! That still doesn’t change the fact that they’re gonna bash their heads against the bricks when they actually decide to try it!”

“Aye know that much, but Aye thought after all the friendship-studying nonsense you said everything havin anything ta do with the social sciences was absurdly ambiguous?” Spike final point in the argument came.

“Well, yeah,” Twilight half-agreed, “but being ambiguous means that something’s hard to discern, not that it has no objective definition that can be discerned at all.”

“Egh,” Spike finally gave into a shrug and a single shake of the head, “whatever, Aye’m not gonna try n push it any further.”

“Good! I don’t even know what you were trying to push anyway.” Twilight said.

“Aye really wasn’t pushin anything,” Spike circled them back to the beginning, “all Aye did was tell you my assumption.”

“And your assumption was stupid!” Twilight declared without any hesitation. “I mean, I know you only that narrow range of data to go off of, but I also know that you know me. Why, would you ever think that I would behave anything like that? Do I really look that much like Rarity to you?”

“Agh, look Aye’m sorry alright? Seriously Twilight, just let it be.” Spike insisted. “Besides, aren’t you kind of ignorin your . . . I guess, not-coltfriend?”

Twilight’s eye shot open for a second at the sudden reminder of Meteor Streak’s physical presence. “Oh, aahhh . . .” She looked off to her side at the grey stallion sitting near her.

Meteor was lowering his fork back down to his plate, now feeling himself at the conjoined center of both Twilight and Spike’s attention. He had been slowly eating, hunger trading strength back and forth with awkwardness, but now the likely expectation for him to speak put a stop to that. He finished chewing and swallowed before he said anything. “Uhhh, I . . . didn’t really think I had any part in this.” He explained his previous silence.

“Nah that’s fine,” Twilight said, “sorry for kinda getting too into that, I guess. I should probably tell you that’s . . . kind of like the standard, usual interaction that goes here.”

“I kinda already figured something like that after the hospital.” Meteor told her.

“Wait,” Spike spoke again, to Meteor this time, “so you’ve already experienced her entire broad spectrum of analytical correctness and condescension, then?” He voiced his curiosity.

"Uh, yeah, kind of . . ." Meteor's answer half as much a guess as it was an actual answer.

Twilight however, clarified for them both with a much clearer certainty. "Yeah don't worry, I'm pretty sure he got the full range and display of everything the other day at the hospital." She said.

"Oh?" Spike remarked. "And what's this then? No retortful quip about me callin out your flaws? No correction?"

"Nah," she replied, "I'm a condescending know-it-all bitch and I know it." Twilight willingly conceded, something rare for Spike to see, but something had been growing more frequent over recent time.

"Aye know you're aware of your own demeanor, Aye'm just a little surprised you didn't snap at me about it like usually would. It used to be pretty normal for you get real edgy whenever Aye called you out on anything?" Spike spelled out the point of his surprise.

"Yeah, well," Twilight began saying, hesitating in consideration for a second before she went on, "maybe you were actually right about something for once."

"Right about what?" Spike asked. "You mellowing out noticeably since we moved here?"

"Mellowed out?" Meteor's voice surfaced into the conversation again.

"Oh yeah," Spike readily explained, "she used to go off the mental deep end on a regular basis. We're talkin full mental breakdowns."

Twilight immediately launched into an explanation when Spike brought up the past. "That's because back then I had literal mountains of reasons to be stressed out. I had an incomprehensible workload of study, practice, homework and assessments forced onto me every minute of my existence without any way out of it, and threatening consequences looming over if I ever failed. Down here I basically don't even have to do anything. The only responsibility I actually have is an aimlessly vague royal decree dictating that have to "study friendship." So apart from occasionally writing up some anecdotal B. S. about something I supposedly learned and sending it to Celestia, I don't necessarily HAVE to do anything. Not on a scheduled regular basis at least. I still have to take on all the responsibility of dealing with and saving Equestria from basically every large-scale problem that ever comes up."

Meteor needed a few seconds to honestly process some of what he'd just heard, mainly one part in particular. ". . . Celestia sends a 24-year-old student to deal with national threats?" His voice and blanked-out expression quite readily gave away his questioning of reality. ". . . She doesn't even . . . use the military for anything? Like, evacuations?"

"Nye," Spike answered, "just Twilight here and her little friendship circle."

"It's actually included in the decree," Twilight added, "but it's implied."

There really wasn't anything to say to that, on Meteor's part. There would have been, for somepony who didn't believe what they'd just been told, or anypony who got enough of an anger rise out of it. Granted, he was dumbfounded at the sheer absurdity of what their nation's supposedly wise leader was apparently doing, but it still wasn't anger, not a flaring kind at least, that wasn't who he was. That was one way stating why he'd never really had anyone grow close to him: he was too calm.

Across from him, Twilight was feeling a rising nervousness at the silence, and the question of whether or not the revelation of her relative life-structure to Meteor had just shattered any hope she had for an actual relationship began to surface. "Yeah," she made herself say, "so that's basically a summation of my life set-up. Ah--ha, ha, ahh . . . I'll uh . . . it's kind of understandable if you want to walk out the front door."

"Nye!" Spike piped up the instant after Twilight had spoken. "Don't you DARE make me have to deal with the breakdown THAT's going ta cause."

"Wait, wha--no," Meteor managed to panic some words up, "I'm literally in the same place as you are, relationship-wise. I'm not going to not even try with the only mare who's ever shown any remote interest in me just because she has problems." He told them both. ". . . I have a lot of problems of my own."

"Great." Spike said, expressing an obvious relief. "Thank the Nocturnal Princess."

"Hey, watch it Spike." Twilight warned.

"What?" The little dragon demanded in return. "Aye ain't about to thank Celestia! That bitch's had me interrogated eleven times already for no other reason than just ta screw with you. Aye ain't thankin her fer anything!"

"Um?" Meteor's confusion managed to escape in an audible form.

"Oh yeah," Spike turned to explain, "she had me dragged into a dark room and some guards threatened to hit my elbows with tiny hammers."

"Yeah," Twilight confirmed the story before berating Spike about it, "and I told you to suck it up because there was nothing threatening about that scenario." She paused just long enough to tap his shin with her hoof. "There, that's more than likely the equivocal force you would've felt from one of your supposedly-horrifying tiny hammers."

Spike's eyebrows fell just a little bit. "You know, despite the sheer amount of snide comments and B.S. attitudes that pass between the two of us, Aye've never actually made fun of any of your childhood traumas?"

"Well gee, Spike," Twilight tried to counter what Spike had said in some way, "I don't know, maybe there's a little bit of a difference between our two experiences. Like, how my traumatic experiences were ACTUALLY traumatic!"

"Um, it doesn't really matter," Meteor's voice suddenly returned to the conversation, "whatever somepony else thinks about what somepo--one went through doesn't retroactively go back and change anything about it. If someone's scared by something then they're scared by it."

Twilight was genuinely stuck, at least inside. Her mind fumbled with the concept of the only stallion who'd ever shown interest in her contradicting her on something . . . and being right about it. Long before she was ever able to settle over it though, awkwardness pulled a response out of her. "What? Well . . . yeah, but . . . wait, didn't you say you felt like you didn't have any part in this just a minute ago?"

"Everypony's a hypocrite." Meteor willingly admitted, much to Twilight's surprise.

"You know he's got a real point there?" Spike said to Twilight. "Aye've got a thirty-foot long list of all the times you were being hypocritical that felt like giving the effort to write down."

That drew looks from both Meteor and Twilight, the Twilight's clearly bore frustration as well. "What is it with you and lists?" She demanded to know. "You'd better not tell me you still keep that stupid list of reasons why you should've been allowed to sing in my school plays."

"Under my pillow with all the others." Spike confirmed exactly what she'd demanded he not. "And Aye'm still stickin by every reason Aye put down."

The level of frustration showing on Twilight's face fluctuated for a few seconds before she gave her head a single shake and lifted up a hoof. "Ok whatever," she attempted to dismiss the entire thing, "look, let's just change the subject or something . . . at least just so everything feels a little less awkward?"

"Eh," Spike shrugged, "it's only awkward if you make it awkward."

The little dragon's words caught Meteor by surprise, enough of a surprise to draw out words where he would have otherwise stayed silent. "I had a friend who used to say that." He said.

"You know that same argument you literally just used easily applies here too right?" Twilight pointed out.

Guilt did flood through the stallion, not that it could be seen through expression though. "Yeah . . . I know. Sorry . . . I get to feel enough of that myself." He briefly showed his lone prescription bottle.

"Oh yeah," Twilight's spark of memory managed to take away enough of the awkwardness she'd felt on its own, "I was meaning to ask you how managed to actually get someone to prescribe you a set of benzodiazepines." She said. "Whatta'ya got there? Alprazolam?" She asked.

"Lorazepam." He corrected with a single head shake. "My . . . stuff's a lot more situational."

"Panic attacks as opposed to generalized anxiety?" Twilight went ahead and made the assumption, recieving a simple, immediate confirmation from Meteor. "Yeah, I'm more one of those eternally-stressed-out ponies . . . for ha-ha, reasons that have already been explained. I've kinda been hoping to finally get on some alprazolam for a while, but I'd even settle for an SSRI at this point. Not that I can actually GET anything since Celestia's really stingy with tax money so my stupid royal insurance only covers therapy sessions with dirt-cheap cognitive therapists who've probably never touched a prescription slip in their life."

"You could just go see somepony at the hospital's walk-in clincic." Meteor suggested his own approach. "Most of the ponies you'd see are either Nurse Practitioners or Physician's Assistants, and usually the lower on the ladder you go the more willing to give you stuff."

"Oh don't get me wrong," Twilight said, "I considered that. But anything, and I mean ANYTHING done to me in a hospital qualifies as emergency treatment under my insurance's specification clauses, so their deductible comes in."

"So, is . . . is it just the money? Or . . . I mean, I could pay . . . if you want." Meteor asked, and tentatively offered.

"What? Ah . . . no, it-it's alright. It's not that I can't afford it, it more that I just don't want to out of spite." Twilight explained. "So, ah, who do you see there?"

"Nurse Redheart." Meteor answered.

"Wait, her? So, what, she's an N.P. then? I thought she was just an R.N?" Twilight asked, but never really stopped to wait for an answer. "Huh . . . yeah alright. I guess I'll have to try seeing her or one of the others sometime soon. Though since I've already gone to five sessions with Dr. Wolf, my insurance's stupid policy says I have to keep going to therapy sessions for a minimum of six months."

Spike raised up a question at that. "Isn't it also their policy that you have to go to five sessions in the first place before they'll start payin anything?" He asked.

"Wait, what?" Meteor asked, though it was more an expression of shock than an actual question.

"Yup!" Twilight confirmed the existence of the circular policy setup. "It's under Article Screw, Subsection Job." She said.

"Uhhh-you . . . really should get out of that coverage and switch to something else." Meteor could only speak the obvious at that point.

"Yeeaahh, normally I'd probably consider that a perfectly rational suggestion," Twilight began, "but you've gotta understand, I've learned more than enough lessons about the outcome of attempting to alter my life circumstances to something more favorable."

"Aye." Spike agreed. "It's the same as me learnin never to even bother tryin to question anything or propose solutions to problems, cause none of it ever gets us anywhere."

"Well I guess I almost fit in then." Meteor said.

"Huh? Almost?" Twilight prompted him to clarify what he was saying.

"Yeah, I feel like that a lot most of the time." He explained. "But I still try at stuff though."

"Aye. Definitely sounds good enough for the Mansion of Misery." Spike said.

Twilight actually laughed, at something Spike had said, but she got drawn into it too quickly to recognize the rareness of it. "Yeah," she said to Meteor, "welcome . . . to the Misery Mansion, I guess, if that's what we're gonna start calling it . . . the group, I mean, not the building."

***

"Alright! Six spaces!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed after seeing her result on the Monopoly dice. "That gets me right to Princess Celestia! And I buy it."

"Wait," Twilight stopped her, "Dash, don't you only have like five hundred left? Celestia costs four-fifty; you're literally going have next to nothing left."

"Yeah, I know," Rainbow said, "but it's worth it though. If one of you guys lands on it I get fifty bits!"

"Dash, you know that the statistical likelihood of any of us landing on that one space is-" Twilight began, but was pretty quickly cut off.

"Oh for," Rarity interrupted, "Twilight, will you please just stop making these pointless attempts to reason with her? You know it's never going to get anywhere."

"Agh, fine, whatever." Twilight conceded. "Hey, Farm-Apple, it's your turn.

At her being prompted, Applejack picked up the pair of dice and rolled, coming out to a six and moving her piece forward onto the Idol of Boreas, one of the two utility pieces. Both of which, Meteor held.

"Ten times the dice." The grey pegasus almost expressed some thrill at the profit he was finally gaining, though his voice still held the same calm as ever.

"Alright," Applejack said, "so sixty. Well that don't put me down too much. Ah still got about seven hundred."

Rarity had, over the last few seconds since the orange earth pony rolled, grew out her identifiable, pre-amusement grin. "I wonder if Twilight her new friend have managed to add nine more yet?" She spoke out what she'd planned to.

Meteor and Twilight instantly both shared the same expression of disgust at Rarity's forty-fifth innuendo of the night, though Meteor's slowly turned into a look of clear discomfort while Twilight's expression only grew more into on of a complete lack of amusement.

Spike responded verbally to Rarity before anyone else, and delivered something that left Twilight feeling something towards him that she honestly didn't believe she ever had, nor ever would: proud. "Nye," Spike said, "about as much as you've managed to have a stallion hold actual feelins fer you other than lust."

If anything Spike did were ever going to make Twilight proud of him, it was this. The look of embittered scorn on Rarity's face was too priceless. "Thankyou, Spike." Twilight said, with gratitude, though somewhat forcefully like she was having to stomp out the words. "Seriously, what is your problem?" She then started on Rarity. "Literally, every single sentence that ever comes out of your mouth has to pertain in some way to sex! I mean seriously, I don't even think ACTUAL prostitutes think about sex as muh as you do!"

"Yes," Pinkie suddenly jumped into the word fray, "the Rarity uses the pleasure between her butt cheeks to distract herself from her inevitable future as a lonely, depressed hag. Yes!"

Twilight looked over to the Pink pony for a second with uneasiness, and then she continued. "Yeah, when I'm actually in complete agreement with something Pinkie says, you should really be able to see that you're backing yourself into a corner." Twilight said to Rarity.

Even Applejack couldn't resist jumping in now. "Personally Ah've always kinda seen Rarity as an actual hooker." She said. "Ah mean, far as Ah know she never just with'em, she always ends up gettin some'a the stallion's money out of it. Either that or like, free stuff she would've had ta pay for otherwise."

Rarity had more than had enough at that point, and her face clearly showed it, along with tone of voice. "Well," she started, "EXCUSE ME, you two! But at least I'm satisfied with what I'm getting out of life, and not desperately trying and hoping toward some stupid goal that I'll NEVER be able to reach like the both of you!"

"What?" Twilight wasn't even sure where Rarity was coming from.

"Huh?" Applejack expressed just as much confusion. "Uh, honestly Ah don't what talkin bout darlin. My only real goal in life is ta take care of my family's farm. And in case y'all hadn't noticed, Ah kinda already do that on an every day basis."

"Yeah," Twilight took her turn responding, "and I'm not exactly sure what you're trying to jab at on my end. I mean, normally I'd assume you meant something about me never having a boyfriend, but, you know, just in case you hadn't noticed," she paused to point out Meteor to the other unicorn, "that's kind of not the case anymore. I mean seriously, he likes peace and quiet, is relatively intelligent, and thinks the whole world's stupid. That's . . . basically, like the entire package for me, if I were going around scanning stallions for criteria or something. What standards do they have to meet for you? Because the only quality you seemed concerned with is just whether or not they have a penis!"

Meteor was by all means staying out of this. Spike was as well, although unlike the stallion, Spike was decently amused by the whole thing. It was Pinkie Pie who seemed to be enjoying it most of all, however, consistently wracked with her hushed, sinister giggles.

"Well," Applejack began, "Ah do got somethin of a set'a criteria for a stallion myself, mostly just about how much he's willin ta help out around the farm. But for the sake of the moment Ah'm gonna go ahead and say the only real factor we should be considering is whether or not the guy agrees Rarity's a slut."

"Oh don't worry," Twilight agreed with Applejack, with more than a small grin, "that's always the top of the priority list." She said.

"Yes, hehehe," Pinkie suddenly spoke up again, "looking down on the marshmellow horse is the only thing that matters."

Rarity was done. Completely and absolutely. "Ugh! Oh that is it!" She fumed, rising up. "I've had it up to here with all of you! Enjoy your stupid little virgin circle-jerk!" She yelled at all them, and went on to stomp her way out of the library.

Everything was quiet for a moment, just a moment, and then Applejack broke the silence by speaking her mind, which happened to fall in line with Twilight's again. "Well," she said, "that takes care'a one problem."

"I don't get it guys," Rainbow Dash spoke for the first time since the entire thing began, "What just happened? Were you guys being mean to Rarity?"

"Dash," Twilight stopped her, "Dash . . . ju-just shut up. Please, don't even ask. It concern you, you wouldn't understand it, and you're probably never going to understand it. Let's just . . . get back to the game. Spike! Take over Rarity's spot." She ended by commanding her dragon.

"Oh yeah," Applejack started again, "speakin'a take-overs, Ah got an angry letter from Braeburn yesterday saying somethin about the government takin over a lotta the land near Appleoosa ta start up some big gold mine, er somethin.

"Eminent Domain . . ." Meteor commented quietly.

"Yeah," Applejack went on, "apparently the area they wanna open up the mine at is technically on Buffalo land, so the Buffalo are being forceably relocated."

"Wait," Twilight said," your cousins angry about the Buffalo getting kicked off their land? I thought they all hated each other?"

"Oh they do," Applejack clarified further, "and that's actually why he's angry. Apparently the government thought the best place to move the Buffalo tribe to . . . was right next ta Appleoosa."

"Oh," Twilight realized what the situation was then, "well, I guess that's a disaster just waiting to happen."

"Yeah," Applejack only confirmed Twilight's assumption, "Braeburn says they were only living next to each for all of half a day before they all started going at each others' throats. Ah'd though we taught them the magic of friendship or marginal tolerance or whatever back when we all went out there. But Ah guess it just goes ta show that friendship can only go so far."

"Yeah," Twilight picked up the subject, "tolerance can usually only go as far as personal space. Then, it's like . . . all bets are off."

"Ah figured that much myself." Applejack said. "Though that ain't exactly the end of it. He says he's gonna try ta contest the mines in court, on account'a the potential damage some'a the runoff might do to the orchard out there. Ah tried tellin him it's pretty much pointless, since there's no way the profit margin of a single apple orchard can possibly compete with a LITERAL gold mine, but he ain't listenin."

"Yeah," Meteor put in a few sentences again, "unless your apples are actually made out of gold themselves, your cousin's screwed." He said.

"Yeah Ah know," Applejack responded, "but y'all don't know Braeburn . . . he ain't gonna listen."

Twilight, of course, couldn't resist the urge to actually run some crude numbers in her head. "Well," she said, "I don't know how much your cousin's orchard pulls in every year, but assuming it's the same as yours then he'd literally have to yield a full-harvest of apples somewhere around 200 times PER DAY just to match the profit of an average full-sized mining operation."

"Well . . . that ain't happenin." Applejack agreed with the obvious reality. "So, who's turn is it?" She asked.

Twilight's eyebrows lowered at the question. "Pinkie's." She answered.

Sinister giggles came from the pink thing sitting across the board from them. "Heheheh, hehehe, yes!"

***

~ Elsewhere, in Ponyvile . . . ~

"By the Great Chaos from which all things stem!" Thrackerzod exclaimed. "You were right!"

"Ahhh," Applebloom had to express her confusion, "ok . . . bout what exactly?

It was Scootaloo, unfortunately, who answered first. "You were right when you knew that no matter how baaad she was grounded, Scootaloo would find her way back to you, baby! Hoo!"

"No!" Thrackerzod took back over. "She was right about the falsehood of Twilight Sparkle! The purple friendship pony is indeed NOT the enemy Hastur and I have been pursuing."

"Rejection's always hard, baby," Scootaloo spoke off of her own interpretation of what was being said, "but you just gotta, Hoo!, keep on movin!"

"Yeah, Ah kinda figured." Applebloom said. "So how'd y'all find out fer sure?"

"I performed an infaliable test yesterday morning upon encountering her in the streets," Thrackerzod explained in detail, "You see, the span of mythical territories I previously reffered to as The Broken Worlds, across which Hastur and I have led the forces of Azozoth against this mysterious being, is a conjuring of elements from many planes and many universes, including the world that is home to the Hairless Monkeys of Technological Advancement. From their world, have been born many evils, from knife-wielding dolls to cone-shaped packages containing the fury of the sun. Anypony who has spent significant time amidst The Broken Worlds, she would have were she actually the being in question, would be aware of these evils and many others from countless worlds. So, I selected one of these, and had Hastur procure it for me. Then, on yesterday's morning, I showed it to Twilight Sparkle to test her reaction."

". . . and what?" Applebloom asked. "She didn't recognize it?"

"Correct," Thrackerzod confirmed the assumption her/it's friend, "However, there is more. In order to be completely sure, I selected an object of such unspeakable evil, that any sane being aware of what it was would destroy it on sight!"

"Ahhh, don't y'all think running around Ponyville with somethin like that might be just a tad bit dangerous?" Applebloom raised up concern.

"Indeed," Thrackerzod agreed, "it was incredibly dangerous. I had to summon Hastur again in order to have him cast several speels on the vile object to temporarily hold back the floodgates of its evil." She explained.

"Don't y'all have ta tell one of Fluttershy's chickens that Santa Claus ain't real ta summon him? Or somethin?" Applebloom asked.

"Normally yes," Thrackerzod kept explaining, "that has been the go-to method I have used. However, Rarity has restricted my freedom to visit Fluttershy's cottage upon discovery of my behavior. So, this time I had to rely on an alternative method."

"Yeah?" Applebloom prompted her to go on. "So what'd y'all do this time?"

Thrackerzod's eyes narrowed, as if she were about to reveal something dark and unspeakably horrifying, but what she said to Applebloom was anything but. "I smothered a butterfly with a pillow!"

"Oh . . . it didn't belong ta nopony did it?" Applebloom asked.

"No." Was the simple response she received.

"Well, I guess that makes it morally condoneable then." She said. "So what all happened?"

"I approached Twilight Sparkle . . ." Thrackerzod began:

: Flashback :

Twilight walked casually along the street, out to buy a few things over the course of the morning. This particular morning, however, she found herself halted by the presence of Rarity's younger sister standing in her way.

"Greetings lavender adult role model and friend of my sister." Thrackerzod said to the now-inconvenienced unicorn. "I am filled with a perfectly normal degree of childish excitement upon encountering you this morning."

A single eyebrow raised on Twilight's face. "Ok. Well, I'm . . . gonna keep going now."

"No! Wait!" Thrackerzod stopped her. "I have a gift for you . . . a birthday present!"

Twilight became caught somewhere between confused and annoyed. "Ahh, kid, I don't really know you. And my birthday was in September, so you kinda missed it by like, half a year."

"Yes, as is normal." Thrackerzod just went on with her plan. "And to atone for this wrong, I bring you a gift now. I've acquired this book, and it bares your name!" She held up a black-cover book in front of Twilight, bearing the unicorn's name on the cover along with an image of two hairless monkey hands holding an apple.

Twilight was lost, at that point. By all means, she knew kids were dumb, and this one was relate to Rarity . . . but still. "Ok . . . what, do you think it must be about me or something just because the title happens to be the same word as my name?" She asked. "Look, kid, just because two things have the same name doesn't mean they're literally the same thing. You-you're really lacking some basic cognitive skills there . . . Seaty Belt or whatever name is."

Thrackerzod had her answer . . . and thus began her withdrawal. "I feel a natural level of embarrassment regarding my ill choice in gifts as would any ordinary pony."

"Yeah," Twilight said, ". . . ok, uh, I don't know . . . run along now . . . or something."

"Yes," Thrackerzod agreed to the suggestion, "I shall depart with the marking of the tenth hour's half."

: End Flashback :

"She did not recognize the object," Thrackerzod said, looking down with slightly narrowed eyes, a mixed look of anger and disappointment, "Hastur and I, are back to square one."

"In your search?" Applebloom stated what was actually obvious, though it could have been taken for an actual question. "Well, Ah don't exactly know anythin bout this extra-dimensional stuff, so Ah'm sure how much help Ah can be. Though if this pony's supposedly as bad you say they are, Ah guess Ah probably should try ta help y'all find'em."

"Thankyou," Thrackerzod said, to something of a delayed shock for Applebloom. The earth pony couldn't really remember ever hearing her possessed unicorn friend say the words: thankyou. "Any assistance you can lend may help us greatly." Thrackerzod said.

Applebloom sat and thought for a moment. "Hmm, well Ah guess we can just start with some basics and try ta narrow it down." She suggested.

Thrackerzod nodded in agreement. "Yes. We know for certain, that the being is indeed a pony from this world."

Applebloom rubbed her hoof along her chin a bit. "Alright," she said, "and you said they're magic, so if it's a pony then that means it's gotta be unicorn. That narrows it down ta a third of the population. Though if they're impersonating Twilight that might also mean changelings. They can look like anypony, though I'm pretty sure they don't really have any other powers."

Thrackerzod interjected with more specifics. "This being has FORMIDABLE powers."

"Formidable powers, huh?" Applebloom rethought things. "Well I guess changelings might be out then, along with probably most of the unicorns. The princesses are the most powerful ponies magic-wise, and aside from them, far as I know powerful unicorns usually end up going through Celestia's special school up in Canterlot at one point or another. From what little Ah've heard about from Twilight, it sounds like their graduating class size is pretty small, only like twenty, maybe twenty-five ponies, n most of em are usually pretty powerful with their magic."

Thrackerzod contemplated the information. It may still mean months of searching again, but at least she and Hastur may a new set of leads to start from. "This, may narrow things . . ." She concluded aloud.