Fallout Equestria: Wasteland knight

"Who's a silly pony?"

Snickering, I trot over to the bit trying to look like a pony who totally didn't just watch it sail through the air and land in the street.

     "Oh my goodness, a golden coin! This is the greatest thing I've ever seen!" I pander aloud wondering if the thrower was indeed where I thought they were.

"Oh my fucking God did he really just— I whip around, sword in mouth, and face a slightly out of place bit of shrubbery. "Sweet Celestia, This is like something out of a Atom Saddler movie."

The bush rustles a bit and another bit flies straight out of it and hits me in the head, causing me to laugh out loud at the sheer silliness of the entire scenario. "This is just too much!" I manage between fits of laughter, "Please tell me you're some kind of wasteland comedian or something, because this is funny as all hell!"

With this, the bush rustles violently as a bulky stallion with a rust colored coat cautiously rises to his hooves in confusion. "HEY!" The stallion said with all the fury of an annoyed colt. "THAT'S NOT FUNNY, IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A TRAP!"

I stifle my fit of laughter and look the stallion in the eyes, still fighting the urge to roll around laughing. "If it's a trap why didn't you rush me when I first saw the bit? Seriously, you have to follow up on things like that, otherwise it's just hilarious." I admit to him, watching as he broke eye contact and turn his gaze to an approaching group of zombie ponies Ghouls.

The decaying creatures moved with a energy that was both shockingly fast, and frighteningly ravenous, as the group of six quickly closed the gap between us and them. "Ferals!" The stallion shouts, bracing himself for the coming battle.

     "Excuse me, we aren't looking for any trouble. Please don't make us fight you, okay?" I call hopefully to the pack of rotting ponies.

The rust colored stallion turns and barks at me in a tone that was somewhere between mortal danger and concerned annoyance.      "Dumbass, you really think they care? They got holes in their brains like a gun target, all they want to do is eat us!" He barks at my face, before turning to face the first ghoul. "Fuck!" He yells as he rears up on his hind legs and punches it square in the left side of its head, caving it in slightly, causing a dark ooze to gush forth from the wound.

I wanted to vomit as soon as I heard the impact, but as I watched the ghoul fall over on its side, I was suddenly glad that he hadn't followed up on the trap.

     "If you insist." I quip as I swing my large sword in a downward swipe from right to left, cringing a bit as it passed clean through the ghoul closest to me.

I hear a howl of pain and watch as two of the feral creatures leap onto his back like evil saddles and sink  their jagged teeth into his flank. "SHIT A DICK!" The bulky stallion exclaims as they bite him repeatedly, blood painting them and the ground beneath them as they struggle.

I grip the handle of the large stone sword in my mouth, and charge right at them, the blade sweeping and catching a ghoul by surprise as it passed through its front hooves like a bullet through paper. Immediately, they turned their collective gaze on me and left the stallion alone, sensing a more dangerous target had stepped up to bat. My right eye twitching slightly, I realized that I might have an incident if I wasn't careful. "Please, stop attacking us!" I beg loud enough for another group of ghouls to hear, and cause the new group of five to join their feral brethren in the hunt.

     "I mean it! If you don't stop, He'll take control!" I warned them pleadingly, but with little actual hope.

The first of the group of ghouls lunges at me and I lop off its rotting head with a hard downward chop, the headless body sent sprawling into the dirt behind me.

My steel gray eyes stop twitching, and shut for five seconds, only to open and flaunt a bluegreen color bordered by cyan. My cutie mark warped and twisted, shifting from a bullet and a ruler, to a zero with blood dripping from the bottom. Mentally, I had basically just snapped and switched personalities. I wasn't NanoGram anymore, I was PikeWire.

      "Fucking disgusting." Pike spits distastefully at the ghouls as they charge as one to kill me where I stand.

I thrust my sword forward and impale it into the breast of the ghoul closest to me and quickly swung the blade tightly to the right, pulling the monster into a well timed buck to the head that sent the remaining teeth in its mouth to the back of its throat and snapping its neck.

Next, was a well dressed ghoul with no ears and one eye, it's suit vest ripped and stained red. "Finally! It's been ages since I've broken a pony!" Pike barked happily, ducking in and out of the reach of the remaining ghouls, hacking and chopping at them enthusiastically, for a solid ten minutes before I was able to gain control and put the mangled ponies out of their misery.

I turned to the injured stallion, and watched as he crawled to the bush he had been hiding in and retrieved a healing potion, drinking it with bloodied fervor. "What in the name of fucking Celestia was that shit just then?" He asked cautiously, earning a shiver from me.

     "For as long as I can remember, I've had a second pony in my head with separate thoughts and opinions. PikeWire, is quite a bit more inclined to violence than I am. On the other hoof, he's also quite a bit smarter than me." I explain to the stallion, not wanting to go into detail the things Pike did in the war. "The things I did in the war." I realized.

He sat up and looked at me bemusedly "Well, it got the job done, that's for sure." He paused, "Name's Rusted Bit, thanks for the help, sorry bout the ambush." He added with a soft laugh.