Morning came all too soon. With it came the feeling of cold. I’d gone to bed surrounded by bodies; I woke up to the feeling of being alone in a rather large bed. I stretched and got up then saw that I was alone in the room, as my sleepy mind had deduced when there was no warmth around me. I climbed to my feet yawning and walked into the bathroom to take a shower. I was surprised by how large the tub was. It was a small swimming pool. It could easily fit quite a few people, maybe even quite a few ponies since they weren’t really as big as people in most cases. It could most certainly fit Celestia and one or two others at least. I yawned as I turned on the shower and stripped down then stepped in and started scrubbing down.

After I was done with my shower, smelling slightly fruitier than before, I stretched and headed for the door, almost forgetting to get dressed till I saw my clothes out of the corner of my eye. I sighed and pulled on my clothes muttering “Not my house, no reason to walk around naked.” I walked out of the bedroom, fully clothed, and headed for the dining room. It took me about thirty minutes to find it, what with wrong turns and everything. Eventually I found it and stumbled in yawning. Luna, Arty, Cadance, and Celestia were there along with a white mare with blue mane and tail and a shield cutie mark with Twilight’s mark emblazoned on it. I blinked and said “Hello Arty, Candy ass, Tia, Lulu, and mysterious member of the sparkle clan.”

The mare growled at me while Cadance sighed and said “Candy ass, really?” I nodded yawning and sat at the table then poured myself a glass of orange juice and sipped it as Cadance studied me then waved me off and went back to conversing with Celestia. Meanwhile Luna and Arty were watching me like I was going to do something stupid…er, or crazy. I was probably going to do both before the day was out so I saluted them with my glass and face planted on the table almost falling asleep again. Cadance looked at me and asked “Not get enough sleep last night?”

I yawned and turned my head slightly to look at her then said “No it’s just too damn early for me. It’s what six or seven o’ clock?” She nodded and I said “Egad. That’s not a normal time to be awake for me unless I do my usual waking up and falling asleep again all night. Last night I slept straight through so I had no warning when I woke up. If my bed warmers weren’t here in the dining hall I could have slept on.” The four of them snorted and I yawned then noticed the mare with the shield cutie mark was staring at me with angry eyes. I looked at her and asked “What did I do to get your panties in a knot?”

She glared at me and said “Don’t be vulgar beast.” I shrugged and motioned for her to explain exactly what was wrong with me. She glared more and said “You don’t belong at the same table as the princesses, you or the nightmare whorse.” The way she said horse instantly made me think of the way others would say whore back home. I glared back at the mare my eyes flashing. She smirked and asked “Did I hit a nerve, monkey?” I stared into her eyes and made the ‘I’m watching you,’ motion. She snorted and said “Like you can do anything to cause me trouble. It’s bad enough that mare looks like Princess Luna did when she wasn’t herself, but now she has a creature like you defending her and the backing of the princesses just because of your word. I know you’re trying to control everyone and screw the country over.”

I growled and slammed my hands on the table causing an echoing crash throughout the room then climbed to my full five foot nine inches of height and yelled “LOSE THE FUCKING ATTITUDE FILLY!!!! IF I WANTED TO DESTROY YOUR COUNTRY I WOULDN’T BE HERE!!! IF ARTEMIS WAS AN ENEMY OF YOUR COUNTRY SHE WOULDN’T BE ACCEPTED BY THE PRINCESSES!!! I’M TIRED OF YOUR FUCKING ATTITUDE AND IF YOU DON’T SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH I’M GOING TO LOSE MY PATIENCE AND KICK YOUR ASS!!!”

She stared at me and said “Try me.” That was it. I lunged at her over the table, which was longer than I expected, and slammed into her with a lot of power built up behind me in the form of speed. I slammed her head into the floor cracking it and punched her in the face then kneed her in the chest my jeans moving slowly and my arm covered in a few drips of her blood. I punched her again snarling and growling like an animal tired of her insulting my friends and the decisions of those close to me. I started punching her over and over after that until her magic caught me and flung me across the room. I slammed into a pillar and slid down it coughing as my vision filled with spots. I felt something trickling down my neck and she said “That was a dirty cheap shot monkey.”

I snorted and said “What you going to do about it horsey?” She glared and rushed at me. I tried to get out of her magic only to feel it tighten around me and spread my arms. She rushed forward and speared me in the shoulder with her horn, only avoiding my chest because I forced my body to move to the left at the last second. I inhaled deeply breathing through my teeth then head butted her as she drew back and kicked her in the chin knocking her for a loop. Her telekinesis released me and I grabbed her horn causing her to suddenly let out a moan. I blinked and said “The hell?” Luna pointed at her horn then made a weird gesture that I tried to interpret tightening my grip and twisting it causing her to moan louder. I wondered if she’d cast a spell to make this effect not bother her when she charged me, and if so how I broke it.

I growled and squeezed the horn causing her to moan and realized it was the pressure; my body hadn’t applied any pressure when she’d pierced it and her horn reacted to the pressure like well, like a male’s shaft would to stimulation of any kind. I thought about it again and muttered “No pressure doesn’t make any sense, because it was be pressed upon by the blood. Maybe it’s just she turned off that part of her mind until I startled her. I dunno though.” I sighed scrapping my theory and squeezed again causing her to shudder. I growled softly and said “Not so great to be at another’s mercy is it?”

She managed to shake her head and I said “Sadly you’re turned on by this, so I think I’ll just knock you out and claim my prize.” She stared at me confusedly as I sent a blast of psychic force into her temple knocking her out then chanted softly and a ring formed around her cutie mark with a wolf’s head. I released her horn and let her head drop then walked back to the table and sat down breathing deeply. I said “Sorry Celestia, Luna. I had no right to antagonize one of your guards and attack her, but she was asking for it. I’ll pay for any damages to the room.” I felt my left shoulder lock up and muttered “Bucker.” They raised an eyebrow and I said “My arm is messed up pretty good.”
Luna smiled at me and said “I’m glad you took her down a peg. She was very accepting of me, but that was only because Tia vouched for me. She’s very loyal but she remembers nightmare moon’s attack only too well. I think she realized you were the only one she could take her anger out on because you weren’t royalty. I feel sorry for her, what did that chant do?”

I winced slightly as Cadance walked over and started healing my arm then replied “It allows me to keep tabs on her. Doesn’t do much else other than send a slight shock to her rump when she insults me or anyone else to their face, unless they’re her subordinates and she has a right to insult them. Spell’s very particular like that.” She nodded and Cadance drew back as I flexed my shoulder sighing in sweet relief. I smiled at Cadance in thanks then stretched and said “Any other questions Lulu?”

Luna studied me and asked “What are you going to do with her?” I shrugged and she said “Well she is my sister’s captain of the guard. I don’t see what you can possibly do to her that won’t cause political ramifications.” I snorted and sipped the glass of water that was placed next to me by the staff then studied Luna motioning for her to go on. She smiled and said “I think you could always give her a bit of fun and loosen the stick out of her ass.” I chuckled and shook my head. She sighed and said “You’re no fun.” I grinned at her and saluted her with my glass making her blow a raspberry at me.

Celestia sighed and said “Sister stop. It’s bad enough we just had a fight break out in front of us and didn’t do anything about it, but now you’re acting like a foal.” Luna stared at her then shrugged and blew more raspberries at me. I stared at the two of them and Celestia sighed then turned to me and said “Jake are you at least a little bit sorry for what you’ve done?” I shook my head and she sighed then said “At least it was in private, but you have to learn to control your anger.” I snorted at that not feeling like pointing out it seemed as if the mare in question should have controlled her mouth before I lost my temper. I did warn her after all. Celestia sighed and said “Since you came back it seems as if everything that can go wrong is.”

I smiled slightly and said “Well I fixed Nightmare Moon, I laid out…what’s her name…who is captain of your guard, got you to accept Artemis, and so far that’s it.” I rubbed my shoulder and muttered “Though I think I only laid her out because of a few cheap shots, and manipulation but hey do what you have to, to prove a point.” I stretched and noticed Cadance watching me. I raised an eyebrow and she blushed and looked away to start talking with Artemis who was watching Celestia. Luna was watching me with a big smile and I said “Lulu, you’re interesting and all, but I’m curious why you’re smiling at me after I laid out one of the guards.”

Luna smiled again and said “I had a small problem with her. She’s strong but she’s stubborn. She needs to realize that everything is not black and white.” I nodded in agreement and stretched then the servers brought in food and drinks for everyone. I had a fruit salad set in front of me with what looked like fried hay, a sandwich, and a bowl of soup. The others had similar set ups. I sipped my water as Luna said “Oh look lunch has arrived.” I snorted and flicked a piece of fruit at her catching her on the horn and causing her to shiver. She stared at me and said “Really? You’re really going to fling food? Should I retaliate?” Celestia shook her head and Artemis grinned nodding while Cadance looked back and forth between the two of us before ducking under the table since she was between us.

I smirked and said “Wise move Cady.” I picked up a spoon and loaded it with cream then flicked it at Luna who caught it in telekinesis. I growled and fired more fruit then ducked as she returned it all in a volley with even more added to it. I wasn’t thinking about using magic, hell I forgot for a bit I had magic, so I was forced to watch the food sail overhead then sat up and shot her in the face with a dollop of cream causing her to stare at me with one eye closed. I stuck out my tongue and said “I win.” She picked up the pitcher of water with her magic and I said “Now Luna, you know you don’t want to do that.” She stared at me as if to say ‘Oh really now?’ I nodded and said “That would take this game to far. Just accept defeat.”

She thought about it for all of five seconds then said “Verily, no.” I blinked and stared at her as she lifted the pitcher over my head and asked “Any last words?” I nodded then tackled her. She stared at me as the pitcher floated over us now caught in the black glow of my magic and she said “Now we can talk about this.” I shook my head. She said “Truce, please?” I shook my head again and jumped off her then dumped the pitcher on her and got back into my seat and started eating as if nothing happened. Luna looked at me through her bedraggled mess of a mane and said “THOU ART NOT A FAIR PLAYER!!! THOU ART A ROUGHIAN!!! THOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF THYSELF!!!”

I snorted and said “Nah I’m content.” She glared and I checked the mare who had started me into a fighting mood, who was starting to come around, then went back to my food humming in joy. It was a salad of watermelon, blueberries, strawberries, peaches, apples, and pears. I sighed wishing for some grapes but enjoying nonetheless. I picked up my water and took a drink as Luna finally got back into her chair at the table and said “So what’s miss captain of the guard’s name?”

Luna shrugged and Celestia said “Her name is Gleaming Shield. You would know this if you’d asked her name instead of assaulting her Jake.” I snorted and waved that off then continued eating as Celestia continued “Yes she was out of line, but you could have allowed me to handle it.” I shook my head swallowing some of the fried hay and stared at her as if asking ‘And let you fight all my battles henceforth?’ She sighed and said “Should have known you’d have taken it personally. Are you sure that you weren’t just looking to be offended?”

I snorted and said “Tia she didn’t insult me. She insulted you, Luna, Artemis, and even Cadance. I could care less that she called me a monkey. I don’t give a damn that she said I was the enemy of Equestria. I don’t care that she called me an abomination, if she did indeed call me that because I can’t remember anymore what she said exactly, what I care about is that she insulted my friends, implied her leaders were incompetent, and thought that I was using you. I don’t care what anyone says about me. My friends are all the important things in my life. If you have a problem with me defending those who matter to me more than my life, you don’t know me.”

Tia sighed and muttered “It’s caring to much about your friends that will get you turned to stone again. I don’t want that. You helped seal away Sombra, you helped stop Eris, and so much more. I can’t lose you again.” I sighed and got up then walked over and hugged her as Gleaming climbed to her feet shaking her head. I looked at her and she glared as Celestia said “Stand down Captain. He is my guest. As such you will treat him with respect henceforth.”

Gleaming glared at me then bowed and said “As you wish Princess. Should I assume that the other alicorn among you, Princess Luna, and Princess Cadance is also your guest and should be treated with respect?” Luna and Cadance nodded as Celestia inclined her head in a positive. I yawned and put my arms around Tia laying my head on top of hers, and Gleaming said “I feel as if something is amiss with my magic, do you know what happened princess?” Celestia inclined her head toward me and I yawned.

I said “I sealed your magic for the next seventy two hours. After that you’ll regain your magic and you can even start insulting whoever you want. I however don’t care what you say to me, but you won’t insult my friends. If I or they catch wind of you insulting them my mark will let me know and I’ll be reminding you of your place. Understand, miss shield?” She nodded and I smiled then sat back in my chair and leaned back munching on a piece of watermelon. She stared at me and I finished my watermelon then said “If you ever want a fair fight, challenge me in front of those who can monitor. I took you down unfairly, but I had to with the things you said and did.”

She nodded and left the room then I sighed and closed my eyes as I heard the servants whispering. I knew they’d seen the fight, servants see a lot more than ponies or people believed they did. I knew word of what I did would spread, I was fine with that. Maybe it would prevent others from fucking with my friends, maybe not, didn’t matter either way I was willing to fight if anyone insulted my friends in front of me. Luna said “I think you may have gotten through to her as no one else could.” I opened one eye and looked at her in curiosity. She smiled and said “Anyone other than my sister usually gets a remark when they tell her what to do. Instead you got her to accept your words without using your control.” I nodded and yawned then was suddenly tackled by Cadance.

I started to ask what was up when she covered my mouth and said “There’s something about you that attracts mares. I don’t know if it’s your exoticness, your masculinity, or your strength. Whatever it is I will figure it out and I will find out why you cause the feeling of love as well as lust in those who meet you. You are like a walking love creator, it’s weird. Sorry I’m rambling but the fact is this is unprecedented. Even my aunts feel love toward you. I can’t figure it out.” I looked at her blankly and she said “Just had to say that before I left.” She trotted out of the room and I stretched then glanced around seeing the servants cleaning up from our meal.

Celestia walked over next to me and said “So, what are your plans for the day?” I shrugged. Luna walked over next and nudged me. I raised an eyebrow. Celestia seemed to get her idea as she said “Excellent idea Lulu, I’ll take over the day court and you can show him around. Then tonight he can spend time with me while you watch over the night.” Luna nodded and I shrugged then stretched and motioned for her to lead on. She yawned and started for the door motioning for Artemis to fall in beside me. She did so and the three of us headed out the doors.

I looked at Luna as we walked and said “You know I’ve avoided explaining about Artemis and other things for quite a while, and you and Tia avoided talking about what happened in the past that led to me being turned to stone. Tonight we should really cover that.” She nodded and we continued walking. I glanced around at the ponies we passed as we walked and asked Luna “Why isn’t the staff reacting to the three of us?” I said three because Cadance had left some time before Luna, Artemis, and myself. Luna raised an eyebrow then shrugged. I looked at her questioningly and said “You act as if it’s normal for them to ignore a human, somepony who looks like nightmare moon, and the princess of the night. Dear heavens above for some odd reason that sounds like the beginning of a bad joke.”

Luna giggled and said “It does sound like a bad joke, doesn’t it. Anyway our sister probably has informed the staff of you over night, so that should be explained. As for Artemis and myself, we are not a worrying sight to the staff. After all the staff is used to seeing alicorns walking among them.” I nodded silently agreeing that this was the case as Luna led the two of us to her room. She opened the doors with her magic then collapsed on her bed and said “So Jake, what does thou wish to talk to us about?” I noticed she didn’t use the royal Canterlot voice this time and shrugged. She said “Come now, there must be something thou wishes to converse with us about.”

I shrugged and said “Not really. I honestly want to pass out more than anything despite how short a time I’ve been awake for. Sad, no?” She shook her head and I continued, “However you could help by telling me what’s currently going on in Equestria, since I’m kind of lost on current events, even events in ponyville are lost to me because it’s been a day or two since I was last there.”

She thought about it and said “Well here in Canterlot there is unrest over my retaking the throne by the nobles who believe me to still be nightmare moon. There have recently been riots in Trottingham, Manehatten, and Stalliongrad. Prance is causing trouble on the border, though that should be fixed in no time if we can get a hold of their diplomats, and Saddle Arabia is asking for more agricultural help. Anything else you’d like to know, oh wait you wanted to know about Ponyville, well they are currently suffering from a mild flu epidemic.” I blinked and stared at her surprised. She smiled slightly and said “Tia and I like to keep track of all parts of the country. Personally the minor problem in ponyville is the least of anyone’s worries. We fear for those opposing the rioters in Manehatten and Stalliongrad. The dandies in Trottingham are not dangerous in our own opinion.”

I slowly nodded and Artemis said “I think you surprised him Lulu.” Luna looked at her questioningly and she said “What everyone except Cadance calls you Lulu so I didn’t want to feel left out. Plus at you’re current size Lulu fits you better than Luna.” Luna grumbled and I chuckled then quickly shut up when she glared at me. I yawned and sat on a chair by her vanity as Artemis curled up beside her and started brushing her mane with her magic. I raised an eyebrow and summoned a globe of light without my matrixes and smiled as I realized I was starting to get magic down, though this was nothing compared to what the alicorns around me could do. I figured there would be magic I wouldn’t be able to complete with my mind the way it was. I was a creative thinker; structured things kind of flew past me at times even if I was rather logical. Artemis studied me from her place beside Luna then said “Get your sexy ass into this bed right now.” I blinked amazed by her and she smirked at me.

I tackled her and said “So my ass is sexy hmmm?” She nodded and Luna muttered about sumptuous stallion flanks that should be hugged tighter by their clothing or shouldn’t be covered at all. I stared at the two of them and said “I feel violated and sexualized. Damn now I know how girls must feel when the guys get to talking back home. This is so strange.” The two mares giggled at my expense and I said “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up. It’s so hilarious to see a disgruntled Jake.” Luna nipped my shoulder and Artemis nipped my back causing me to jump. They smirked and I sighed softly then said “So what would you two like to talk about?”

Luna giggled and said “Why don’t you tell us about you?” I raised an eyebrow and Artemis nodded in agreement. I sighed and Luna said “Ah dost thou feel self-conscious?” I shook my head in the negative and she said “Then thou should be willing to express thyself and tell us about thee.” I sighed realizing there was no way I was going to get out of this short of blowing up the wall and escaping, which was very tempting, then I got an idea and smirked at Luna. She stared and said “We do not like the look upon thy face, what is it thou has figured out that causes thee to look in such a way.”

I grinned and said “We’ll have to wait for Tia for me to tell you about myself because she’ll be heartbroken if we start learning more about me without her. Thereby we should talk about something else. So what else would you like to talk about? If you have no ideas, we could probably get you used to speaking the modern vernacular like the rest of us Lulu.” Luna sighed and muttered something. I smiled innocently in reply and Artemis glared at me as if pissed I’d managed to wiggle out of having to talk about myself for now, but I realized I’d only delayed the inevitable since the two of them wouldn’t let me escape once Tia showed up, and she most certainly would show up after she lowered the sun and raised the moon.

Artie watched me and said “I guess we can start Luna on the modern vernacular; however you are not getting away without revealing more of your story before the day is through.” I nodded and stretched then she turned to Luna and said “First and Foremost Luna even royals don’t use the royal we anymore.” Luna blinked and looked at her curiously. She looked at me for confirmation and I nodded. She sighed and Artie continued “Instead everyone uses I or me, if they’re talking about just their self. If you’re talking about yourself and a group you use we, us, or anything like that. Thou and Thee are no longer used. Thy has been replaced by your Thou and Thee by you or your.” I nodded again agreeing.

Luna said “So we should instead say I am Luna rather than we are Luna?” I nodded and she smiled then said “You are Jake, She is Artemis, and I am Luna.” I nodded again grinning and Luna smiled then said “This seems rather easy. What else have we…I mean I missed?”

I smiled and said “Well ponies don’t expect the use of the royal Canterlot voice.” She stared at me aghast and I said “Seriously, the royal Canterlot voice is reserved for if you really need it to get a point across or something. Tia hardly ever uses it.” I stretched and continued “There’s also slang now.” Luna mouthed ‘Slang?’ and I nodded saying “Slang. An example is clop; the sound a hoof makes when it hits the ground is used to describe one pleasuring him/herself.” She stared at me aghast and I nodded then said “Hay is used in place of Tartarus, Buck, which normally just means to kick a tree, pony, or object, is slang for having relations with another pony.”

She stared at me and said “That isn’t right.” I shrugged and Artemis muttered something about how nothing was right in the world in all reality. I chuckled at that and Luna sighed then said “So there is much to learn?” I nodded and she said “At least I have you to teach it to me for a while.” I nodded and yawned then leaned back in the bed Luna and Artie curling up around me and stroking my sides with their primaries soothing me. Luna started to say something but decided instead asking “How do you know so much when you haven’t been among our ponies all that much longer than we, I mean I, have?”

I coughed into my hand and said “Um back on earth there was a cartoon, about Equestria.” She stared at me and I said “Imagine a moving comic book. It was projected on small screens called televisions or on computers or other media devices. I was a fan, and I got into the fandom, and then found out the hard way that many things we used for slang were used by ponies in their own way. It was surprising. Of course I didn’t know how to tell my other friends that their lives were a cartoon, but it does give me a slight leeway in how the world works and allows me to know a bit before it happens, though my being here may have altered the time stream, and some things are different from the show back home, such as Eris instead of Discord. Artemis existing after she was banished from you, etc.”

Luna stared and said “Our world is a…car…cartoon?” I nodded and she asked “What does that mean for you?” I shrugged and she said “Do you believe any of this is real?” I nodded and she said “Good. I was worried that you were going to say that you didn’t believe we were real thinking individuals and were just a product of your world.” She smirked and said “So Jake, if we’re a cartoon, does that make you some sort of pervert for seeing into pony’s lives and what they do in their free time?” I shook my head blushing slightly and she said “Oh then do tell what you think watching us in our personal lives makes you?”

I smiled and said “A loveable stalker and actually it doesn’t show everything. The show only shows things that children could see. The fact the fan base is as much adult as it is children anymore is different. However they continue to only show things that children could see. So they don’t show ponies clopping, having sex, or their sexual bits period. That doesn’t’ stop the adults from making clopfics, and pairing up everyone with anyone in the show, and only certain ponies are really shown. The families of the mane six to a degree, the mane six, you and Celestia to a point after you regain your older form, and Discord, who’s been replaced by Eris in this world. They showed the defeat of Nightmare moon, and other spoilers I’m not giving away because if I gave them away you’d try to change things altering the time line and making me unable to intervene in any way.”

She slowly nodded and Artemis said “So you’re winging it?” She ruffled a wing as she said this and I face palmed at the bad pun. She smirked and continued “You deserved that because you’re keeping even more secrets from us. If you keep secrets to the point it will cause problems for everyone. I understand you don’t want to ruin the time stream, but you obviously have changed it just by coming to Equestria, so why are you determined to keep it a certain way?”

I replied “Because the closer it is to what I remember, the more likely I can keep things from going FUBAR aka Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition. If I can keep it from going fubar I can help my friends enjoy life and possibly stop certain things such as my friends getting hurt or taken in by the enemy. Is that enough reason to keep it as close as possible to the original timeline Artie?” She nodded and I sighted then said “Sorry for getting heated, but anything that can hurt my friends is something I have to stop. There are certain things I’ll be unable to stop, and there are parts that will be different for example something that won’t happen most likely is Gleaming and Cadance getting married unlike Gleaming’s show counterpart Shining Armor, if she’s the sister of who I think she is. Honestly I wouldn’t be surprised if the names of certain ponies are the same as in fanfiction.”

Artie said “I’m guessing Fanfiction is fiction based on the show and written by those who watch it.” I nodded and she sighed then said “Do I have a counterpart in fanfiction?” I thought about it then nodded, and she asked “Are they male?” I shook my head in the negative and she sighed in relief. She asked “Do Luna, Cadance, and Celestia, have male counterparts?” I nodded again. She grumbled and said “Am I hated by this fandom?” I again shook my head starting to get a cramp in my neck and she asked “Who’s my counterpart?”

I popped my neck and said “You’re counterpart is Nyx a black filly with your eyes. She’s raised by Twilight as her daughter in a few fics, or in others as her little sister. Luna’s male counterpart is Artemis, though that never sat right with me since Artemis is a goddess not a god, and Tia’s counterpart is Solaris. I’ve never looked for Cadance’s.” She nodded and I stretched then said “That all is from the fandom not the show so I’m more than willing to tell you as much. Then there are all the pairings.” Both of them mouthed ‘Pairings?’ I smirked and nodded saying “Yes Pairings. As in pairing two ponies together. My personal favorites involved Twilight Sparkle, though I liked Princest as well.”
I chuckled at the look on Luna’s face. She had her tongue stuck out and was cross-eyed as if she was gagging badly. I smirked and said “Yes you and Tia having hot steamy lesbian sister on sister action.” She whacked me with her wing and I chuckled then Artie started beating me with a pillow using her Telekinesis. I laughed the more I got hit unable to help myself and finally they let up when my laughing subsided to giggles.

Luna looked at me and said “The only way I would do anything with my sister is if we shared the same stallion. Seeing as this may be the case you may get your show.” I grinned then wondered who the stallion in question was, not realizing she meant me. If I had I would have grinned even bigger, especially with the bedroom eyes Artemis was making at my back at the time. I stretched and Luna said “So I’m going to take a nap, wake me when Tia arrives. You two may do as you wish, just please don’t disturb me.” I blinked realizing she hadn’t been saying we or anything like that since we’d told her not to and wondered why she had trouble with it in the show, not realizing she was trying to impress me and get my attention.

I yawned and said “I think I’ll join you in the land of dreams Luna. I’m bloody exhausted. Have fun staying up and doing whatever Artie. I wish you the best of luck with it.” Artemis waved a wing and watched the two of us pass into the realm of dreams. I stretched and popped my neck then slowly slipped into a deep sleep, my body getting heavier with every second and my mind more distant. I closed my eyes and found myself in my mindscape. I looked around and left my mindscape finding myself in the world of dreams; it was a field of stars. Limitless stars that represented everyone who was currently dreaming. I looked around me and whistled. I stared at the floating stars in the endless expanse of darkness and mumbled “This looks like how Robert Jordan described it.”

I stretched and looked around, seeing if any dreams called out to me. I doubted it since I knew almost no one in Equestria, and the few I did know other than Luna were probably awake. I started touching the occasional dream finding that Ponies dreamed of things similar to humans back on earth. I stretched and was suddenly pulled into a dream that was turning into a nightmare. Luna was lying on a table with nightmare moon standing over her laughing and monologuing. I appeared above the two as Luna said “You won’t destroy my mind and then take over Equestria. I’ll destroy us both if I have to.” I sighed softly thinking “Poor Lulu, still torn up. Even though she’s seen that Arty’s changed she thinks that nightmare moon lives on within her.”

I landed next to them and freed Luna then said “Why do you torture yourself so Lulu?” She stared at me surprised. I studied her and said “You’re hurting yourself because you think you hurt the world. Yes you killed, yes you led to the deaths of many, yet it is not your fault. If you take every death as a personal fault then you ignore what they fought for, you ignore what they believed in, and you make their deaths meaningless. I know the lunar rebellion was a part of your history, a part that you regret. Move on though or it will eat you alive. Stop tormenting yourself, same goes to Arty, I know she’s suffering the same as you she just hides it better. You both made something to tear you a new one over the fact that you were less than perfect. I’ll do everything in my power to show you both you’re not that mare anymore.”

She stared at me surprised and asked “Do you love me knowing what little you do about the lunar rebellion?” I nodded and she wrapped her hooves around my neck as I knelt down to her level then she whispered “Thank you so much.” I snorted gently pulling away and giving her a look that said ‘You don’t have to thank me silly filly.’ She smiled and kissed my cheek then snuggled with me and said “Stay till I awaken?” I nodded and formed a bed under us then a blanket over us and lay back with her head resting under my chin and her body on top of my own. I knew I’d have to tell them my past if they were going to truly accept that what they’d done wasn’t horrible, but how do you tell someone you remember committing atrocities that your body couldn’t have done?

I wondered as we lay there, how you tell your friends that you have memories of committing genocide, fighting with friends and family, and destroying more than one world. I knew they weren’t real, but the fact was I remembered them as if they were, and honestly the look into the multiverse my friends and I had had when we were younger through that stupid science project we made that no one else knew about let me see all of that and more. I sighed softly and nuzzled Luna trying to drag myself out of hell. I noticed the dream starting to warp with my thoughts and forced them onto happier things, like my friends and the mare lying in my arms.

I whispered softly “I don’t have a tragic back story, but sometimes I feel as if tragedy is all I know.” Luna looked at me after sitting up and I smiled at her saying “Sorry didn’t mean to disturb you. Just thinking to myself. Have a tendency to do that when I’m relaxed. I really don’t have a tragic story, only have a memory of seeing the multiverse and the atrocities I could commit if given the opportunity. Kind of scary when you think about it.” She nodded and lay back down then snuggled into my chest and closed her eyes her breathing softening but not entering the state of sleep, though I wouldn’t be surprised if one could sleep within a dream, though I was unsure about dreaming in a dream.

Luna sighed and said “It appears their waking us up.” I raised an eyebrow and started to ask if she was sure when Arty waved at me. I sighed and nodded then the two of us left the dream and woke up. Luna was looking around as I came to and seemed to be trying to find something. I however just stretched and popped my neck. I yawned tiredly then glanced at the door where Luna had finally focused her attention and saw Celestia standing there smiling. I waved and Luna said “Hello Tia, please join us.” Tia nodded and walked over then climbed up on the bed and curled up next to me.

I played with her ethereal mane and said “So guess I have to talk about my past.” They nodded and I sighed then said “Alright well first off everything I’m going to tell you needs to be taken with a grain of salt. I don’t know what’s real and what’s false in my memories. I’m going to give you everything; it’s up to you to decide what you believe. My memories start when I was five years old.” They nodded slowly in acceptance. I sighed and continued “Before that I was swapping between being watched by my grandparents and staying at home with my parents when they weren’t working.” As I spoke I started to weave my memories into my words with magic making the images I spoke of appear in the air before the four of us.

I continued “When I was five, my personality split.” At this the image of my other sides appeared and I said “Wolf, Horse, Dragon, Fox, Tiger or Lion depending on when you talk to it, and human. Each of us has a name.” The image formed back into a little boy as I continued “The human is the outside face, and the complete. I am that human. The rest are pieces of who I am, they each developed differently as time went on.” I stretched as the image changed to me at Twelve, slightly taller, more muscular, and hair a darker blonde than when I was five. I stated “At age twelve my memory splits down three roads. Down one I was taken in by an organization that turned me into a weapon and injected me with serums that turned me into a monster. Down the second I ran away from home and ended up at a place called the track. It was a place where people raced cars, lived by our own rules, and I met one of my first loves. The third I stayed home, and became a womanizer. I think the most likely was the womanizer since I have more than a few notches in my belt. However I always treated women with respect even if I jumped around from girl to girl.”

Each pathway lit up and circled around in front of the four of us as I sighed and breathed deeply. I swallowed slightly and said “After that I just started living my life. My memories get foggier the older I get, but eventually I saw the show My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. It helped me sort my life out. I started being an actual friend instead of an asshole. Eventually I moved away from everyone I called a friend and bought a house out in Arizona. Afterward I ended up here. Not much to say other than I wandered the woods, may or may not have been struck by lightning, then woke up in the ruins of the castle of the royal pony sisters as Twilight and her friends will come to call it. Then I turned Arty into the mare she is today, and I ended up here in Canterlot. Now it’s someone else’s turn to talk about their past because that’s all I can tell.”

Artemis sighed and said “Well I’ll go next. When Luna and I were separated by the elements I took on an ethereal form haunting the castle. I was alone for days maybe even weeks when Jake appeared. I tried to enter his mind and he eventually created a body for me with a few rules to my new form. Then we ended up in Ponyville where I worked for Pinkie Pie the bearer of laughter. It was…fun. After we came here I was expecting to be destroyed but the three of you have shown me nothing but kindness just like the town, though they knew me as Midnight Breeze the Unicorn not Nightmare Moon the alicorn. Thank you all for accepting me.”

Luna blinked and nuzzled Arty then kissed my cheek and curled up on top of me. I hadn’t noticed because she was rather light despite being an animal that should weigh hundreds of pounds. Well either she was really light or I was a lot stronger than back home. I stretched and said “Cadance, what about your time in Canterlot?” Cadance blinked and shrugged her wings then I said “Wait when did you get here anyway?”

Cadance smiled and said “Shortly before Aunt Tia. Aunty Artemis let me in and I just laid down next to you and Aunty Luna. As for my time in Canterlot, well it started out with nobles trying to get me to work for their houses. I brushed them off, but they kept pushing. Also I studied at Aunty Celestia’s school for gifted unicorns learning how to control my magic since I ascended. Aunty Celestia has been really good to me and I was excited when Aunty Luna was no longer Nightmare Moon. Didn’t expect the other half of nightmare moon to also become my aunt but I’m happy she has because she seems like a nice mare so far. While in school I met Gleaming Shield and she became one of my best friends. Then Aunty Celestia had me foalsit a special little filly. That’s a story for another time though.”

I nodded not pushing her and played with her mane noticing how silky it felt to the touch. I grinned and stretched then hugged the four mares to me and said “You four are all beautiful and wonderful. Though I think Tia and Luna refuse to tell me their past because they feel that if fate goes the way tis supposed to I’ll see it in person. Which I can’t disagree with. So now what do you lovely mares wish to speak about?” They started whispering conspiringly and I felt a shiver make its way down my spine. I muttered “Fuck I just opened Pandora’s box.” They giggled and Luna made a sound of disagreement, then Celestia offered a counter argument which they all seemed to like. I sighed and asked “What unholy can of worms have I just asked to be unleashed upon myself?”

Luna said “We want you to snuggle with us.” I thought that wasn’t so bad until she said “With nothing covering you.” I sighed knowing I shouldn’t have even thought that it wasn’t too bad, but realizing I was screwed because I couldn’t escape. I stood up and started to disrobe revealing my tan upper body with the occasional blemish, then slid off my pants. I rubbed the scar on my wrist nervously as the girls watched me patiently. I blinked as I thought “They’re so going to laugh at my size. I’m nowhere near as big as a stallion.” As if to prove me wrong I felt the magic in my body altering my physique as the girls watched. My shaft filled out my boxers, and my muscles became slightly more toned as I gained a few inches in height. I was now over six feet tall, and my shaft was bulging in my medium sized boxers while still being flaccid.

I swore aloud and yelled out “DAMN MAGIC STOP RESPONDING TO EVERY LITTLE THOUGHT I HAVE BEFORE YOU END UP KILING ME!!!” I could see the girls eyeing my bulge appreciatively and I sighed then dropped my boxers revealing my shaft was a solid eight inches long and three inches thick, soft. I feared what would happen when I was hard. I crawled into bed and curled up under the covers then the girls climbed in with me and curled up around me. Tia and Luna curled up on my chest, Cadance and Arty on my sides. I wrapped my arms around the four of them and said “Ignore my earlier comment.” I didn’t know why my magic was reacting to every insecurity I had, though I was pretty sure that whatever reason it was doing so, it was trying to make me fit in with equestria in every way. I had a feeling I wouldn’t be a human too much longer at this rate.

I fell asleep with the girls never noticing that their hooves were all reaching to give a tug on my shaft until it was too late and it woke me up. I yelped and said “Cold. Cold. Cold. Cold. Cold. Gods that was cold.” Then my mind shut down once again. As I slept the girls were talking quietly so as not to wake me. I only found out about their conversation later because they decided I deserved to know. How sweet of them, right? Not really since they were talking about how to get me to accept them all and how to present me to the nobility like a stallion at the market back home.

I woke up the following morning as Celestia raised the sun. She raised it from under the covers, which were covering all four of us up to our necks, then mumbled and laid back down on me. I thought she’d be an early riser, but nope, she was more a sleepy head than I was. Though that’s because I’ve always had trouble sleeping with light coming in. Luna lowered the curtains on her window with her horn and shut out the light allowing all four of us to go back to sleep.

When we finally got up it was eight o’ clock and Tia had to get breakfast before going to day court. She made me promise to see her for lunch, and then I headed out to work with the royal guard while the girls ate breakfast. What can I say, I wasn’t hungry. I walked out to the practice yard and started doing martial arts katas until I could pick up a staff and perform bo practice, then I sparred with a few of the guard who heard I’d beaten down Gleaming and weren’t too mad because of her attitude. I made a few friends that day and agreed to go out with them to a local bar that night.

After training I walked back up to eat what was left over from breakfast then took a shower and walked around the city. Cadance escorted me, and the two of us got to know each other a little better. Candy, as I had a habit of calling her, had a lot to say about the city. We went to Doughnut Joe’s and I met Pony Joe who was a good guy. He asked what I’d like and I ordered a dozen chocolate frosted chocolate donuts with sprinkles and a mug of black coffee. Cadance stared at me and I said “Fast Metabolism, Heavy Workout, very hungry.” She nodded and we sat down then Joe delivered my order and I thanked him paying him a nice tip before digging in. The donuts were the best I’d ever had.

After that Candy and I continued to walk the streets until we were stopped by a few locals who wanted to know where I got my clothing. I told them Carousel Boutique in ponyville from the lovely fashionista Rarity Belle. Candy studied me and said “Did you seriously just promote someone else because they made your clothes?” I nodded and she sighed then said “Ah well, at least it wasn’t a Canterlot noble.” I nodded again and we started arguing about politicians. She said the worst were born to it, I said it was the elected ones who let the power go to their heads. Eventually we agreed all politicians were corrupt no matter their upbringing or the way they got into office.

The rest of the day passed rather quickly, had lunch with Celestia, joined Luna in her room for a game of chess, where I was thoroughly trounced, and got my hair styled by Cadance to look even more wild than usual. That night I went to the bar, got drunk, got into a bar fight with a griffon, and spent the rest of the night in the drunk tank in the local precinct.

The next four or five weeks passed similarly with the only changes being the number of fights, number of times I lost to Luna, and amount of times I had to turn down tea from Celestia. Eventually I decided it was time for me to head back to Ponyville. I’d saved up quite a bit of bits, though I had unlimited access to the treasury as the princesses boy toy. It didn’t help I felt like I hadn’t earned it and planned on getting a job to pay them back first chance I got. I took the train to Ponyville, with a letter from Celestia to Twilight, and arrived at my scheduled time. I grinned enjoying being punctual now and then, and then I walked to Twilight’s library and knocked on the door. Twilight answered it looking frazzled and I pulled her into a hug then handed her the letter. She blinked at the hug and took the letter then read it. She smiled and yelled “SPIKE, PRINCESS CELESTIA WANTS US TO VISIT HER NEXT WEEK!!!”

I smiled at her and said “Good for you Twi. Know anywhere I can buy a house?” She stared at me amazed and I pulled out my bag of bits then said “I’m moving back to Ponyville, though I’ll be spending every two weeks in Canterlot, so I need a house.” She smiled and motioned for me to follow her then we walked to the housing department and I told them what I was looking for and what I could pay.

The realtor said “Well mister wolf we have just what you need on the border of the Everfree. Would you like to take a look?” I nodded and she led us out there then I whistled in appreciation. It was three stories tall, had a large kitchen, large dining room, a den, several bedrooms on each floor, and several bathrooms. It also came with a king sized bed in the master bedroom. It cost me almost every bit I had but it was mine. I thanked the agent then collapsed onto my bed dragging Twilight in with me causing her to eep and blush.

I mumbled “Sorry Twi but I’ve gotten used to sleeping with someone; you can sneak out before I wake up, but for now you’re my cuddle buddy.” She grumbled but smiled and hugged me around the neck before I fell asleep and she slipped away.

Author's Note

Whelp we see Jake's magic reacting to his thoughts this chapter. We also see Jake being a cuddle bug, will this trend continue, will he ever stop losing sleep, we'll see. We also learn more about the things that are wrong with him and a bit about the background of the world. I hope you like everything and will see you next time.