In the morning, Apple Bloom confided in Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle about who she should try and steal a feather from. They thought it ought to be one of their classmates.

“Who’s the least likely to feel anything?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Probably Rumble,” replied Sweetie Belle. “He stubs his hooves so often, he hardly even swears anymore.”

Later that morning however, their plans changed. Cheerilee announced a pop quiz. This gave Apple Bloom an idea. Once the students had one quiz paper each, Cheerilee began counting down from five to mark the start time.

“5, 4, 3, 2…”

“Ow!”

“1. Begin!”

Apple Bloom was sitting next to Nyx, and had plucked one of her feathers. Nyx had only looked around for a second before remembering she had a limited time to fill in her quiz paper like everypony else. No one heard her yelp, and the subject of the test was a difficult one. Apple Bloom hoped that Nyx would be so distracted by the tough questions that she’d forget all about that brief pain in her left wing. This wasn’t the case.

“Did you see somepony take one of my feathers?” Nyx asked Apple Bloom after quiz time was over.

Apple Bloom gulped. If Nyx found out it was her, she’d be off limits for the ritual instructions.

“That was me,” piped in Scootaloo. “Sorry, but I lost my quill and I was in a rush.”

“Oh. Well, it’s alright. It didn’t hurt too much,” said Nyx, rubbing her left wing.

Apple Bloom was relieved; not only because Scootaloo had stepped in and diverted Nyx’s suspicion, but because Nyx didn’t seem to realise that Scootaloo needn’t have harvested a feather from anyone accept herself.

When Apple Bloom got home that afternoon, she began the process. She took a basin, a bag of potting soil, one of the seeds that Twilight had given her, and the small black feather she’s obtained on class.

“Fill the basin with soil… place the seed on top…” she recited as she carried out the first few instructions. “And… push the seed into the soil with the feather you took. There. Now build a castle with the rest of the soil in the bag.”

The thing about living on a farm is that there is bound to be an immense supply of soil for planting. There was so much soil left in the bag Apple Bloom used that when Applejack arrived at the shed two hours later, she couldn’t even get to the door.

“Apple Bloom, what kinda nutball shenanigans have ya got goin here?!”

“This is for Twilight Time,” replied Apple Bloom from atop a turret.

“Granny!” Applejack turned her head. “Come look what your granddaughter did!”

Granny Smith sauntered over and inspected the castle.

“Well, you did a mighty fine job, Applejack.”

“Not me! Her!” Applejack pointed crossly at Apple Bloom.

“Well, you did a mighty fine job, Apple Bloom.”

“Thanks, Granny,” Apple Bloom grinned.

“You wasted all this potting soil!” complained Applejack.

“Not really. The book doesn’t say I have to keep this castle standing. I just have to make it,” said Apple Bloom.

“Well then, you can put all this soil back in its bag,” Applejack ordered. “It’s gonna rain tonight, so get a move on.”

Apple Bloom groaned. She was already worn out, and she knew she’d exhaust herself once she was done dismantling her castle. So she decided to carry out the next steps tomorrow.

“And so falls the kingdom of Apple Bloom,” sighed Granny Smith as she watched the castle being demolished.

After school the next day, Apple Bloom got herself a bag of peanuts and ventured into Whitetail Woods. Before long, she found a clearing, and she began tossing peanuts all around her. It was then that she realised she was going to be there for a long time. Hours. The squirrels in Whitetail were rather reserved. They were quick to eat the peanuts that were the furthest away from Apple Bloom, but as the circle shrank, it did so at a creeping slow pace. Apple Bloom sat as still as she could, wearing the warmest smile she could muster. She was glad to see that the squirrels kept coming back, but the time it was taking them to make their way to her was lengthening. The sky was red by the time half of the peanuts were eaten. Just when Apple Bloom’s patience was about to run out, more squirrels were coming and making quicker work of the circle of peanuts. Apple Bloom grew concerned because some of the squirrels weren’t eating the peanuts on site; they were taking them away to their boroughs. She was worried that the squirrel that claimed the peanut closest to her would scamper off with it. Thankfully, when it finally happened, Albert stuffed his face right there and left the empty shell on the ground at Apple Bloom’s hooves. It was dark when Apple Bloom returned home. She placed the empty peanut shell on the top of Nyx’s feather in the basin, and went straight to bed, wishing she’d eaten some of the peanuts herself.

She woke up in the morning to an awful racket outside. There were equine voices to be sure, but most of the noise was a sort of squeaking. Apple Bloom’s jaw dropped when she looked out of her window and saw what the trouble was.

“They followed me home!” she cried.

There were specks of black, red, grey, and brown all over Sweet Apple Acres, which Apple Bloom couldn’t mistake for anything other than squirrels. She raced down the stairs and out the front door. Applejack and Big McIntosh were standing close to the barn next to a stack of buckets they were going to use until they discovered that there were a lot of intruders in their apple trees.

“What do ya think of this, Apple Bloom?” Applejack groaned when she saw her little sister come outside.

“Uh… this might be my fault,” Apple Bloom confessed. “I was feeding squirrels in Whitetail Woods yesterday.”

“Did ya see them follow you home?” asked Applejack.

“No, I had no idea.”

“Well… Fluttershy should be coming to give us a status report soon,” said Applejack.

Apple Bloom was glad her siblings weren’t mad at her, but she felt silly for not seeing this coming.

Shortly, Fluttershy arrived from the field of golden delicious trees.

“None of them have made nests in any of your trees,” she told Applejack and Big McIntosh. “So Crosspatch, Lazybug, and I are leading them off your property now. You’ll be able to start applebucking before lunch time.”

“Thanks, Fluttershy,” said Applejack. “No harm done, Apple Bloom.”

“That’s good,” sighed Apple Bloom.

She didn’t stick around to watch Fluttershy, Crosspatch, and Lazybug send the squirrels packing because she had planned to spend the morning carrying out step 6. This one was bound to take a long time. The book said she was to shuffle a deck of cards, draw one, and keep doing this until she drew a six of clubs. So she fetched her go fish deck and began shuffling and drawing. Several unsuccessful draws later, someone knocked on her door. Apple Bloom said her door was open, and in walked Lazybug.

“Hey, I heard you’ve got some kinda planting project going,” he said.

“I’ve had this project going since before you and your sister got outta that composter,” said Apple Bloom. “I’m just trying a new method now.”

“I see. So do you need any water?” Lazybug held up his spritzing bottle.

“Uh…”

“Or did your plant get plenty in that rain we had two nights ago?”

Apple Bloom didn’t know how to respond. She set her deck down and looked in the book Twilight gave her to double-check the instructions. She found that there was nothing in there about watering the seed; and also there were no guidelines for how much sunlight to give it. Apple Bloom couldn’t see how a plant could come to be without water. The only one she could think of was a Viana.

“Uh, I’m fine, thanks,” she said at last.

“OK,” said Lazybug, spraying himself with his spritzing bottle. “Well, those squirrels are all gone now. Wanna hang out?”

“Sorry. I’m busy.”

Lazybug watched as Apple Bloom recommenced shuffling.

“Practising a card trick?” asked Lazybug. “I know a good one. Wanna see?”

Apple bloom was going to decline at first, but decided she’d take a break.

“Name a card,” said Lazybug as he took the deck from Apple Bloom.

“Uh, six of clubs,” said Apple Bloom.

She realised at that moment that she hadn’t actually checked the deck to make sure there was a six of clubs in there. Lazybug shuffled the deck a few times without looking at it, and then drew a card and showed it to Apple Bloom.

“Tada!”

“Wow! How’d you do that?” asked Apple Bloom.

Lazybug placed the card back on the top of the deck and passed it back to Apple Bloom.

“My mom taught me it. I just… uh… well, it’s hard to describe,” faltered Lazybug. “My mom explained it good. If you wanna learn it, you should probably ask her. Well, good luck with your trick.”

And he left.

Lazybug’s good luck wish was a jinx. Apple Bloom could not draw the card she needed no matter how many times she shuffled.

“I know it’s in here,” she kept grunting to herself.

For days, whenever Apple Bloom wasn’t at school, she was shut up in her room either shuffling and drawing, or sleeping.

“The sooner I draw that darn six of clubs, the sooner I can come out and move on,” she said to anypony who told her she was wasting her time.

By the time Apple Bloom found the card she desperately wanted to see, it had been a week since Twilight had given her Growing Rituals. And she didn’t find it in the deck. She found she was reaching the end of her tether, and flipped through the deck to confirm that the six of clubs was in it. She was enraged when it didn’t turn up. She turned her bedroom upside down in a vain attempt to find it, and then burst out into the hallway.

“Sorry,” she said after bumping into Big Mac. “But have you seen any six of clubs’ lying around?”

For a split second, she thought this was a stupid question.

“Eeeyup.”

“You have?! Where?!”

Big Mac led Apple Bloom to his bedroom and pulled a playing card off his bedside table.

“Where did you find this?!” demanded Apple Bloom as she swiped the card him.

Her big brother pointed out of his window to the entrance to the Apple family’s property.

“It was lying in the dirt,” he said.

Apple Bloom smacked her forehead. “Lazybug was all wet when he showed me that card trick. The card musta got stuck to his hoof.”

She left Big Mac’s room without another word, added the dirt specked card back to the deck, and recommenced shuffling. She went on shuffling and drawing for hours, brimming with frustration. In the hour leading up to Twilight Time, she smiled for the first time that day when she stopped shuffling for the umpteenth time and saw that the card on the top of the deck was dirty.

“Finally!”

Apple Bloom was so worked up, that instead of flicking the peanut shell off the feather with the card like the book instructed, she beat it off and upset the basin.

“Oh, great!” she roared. “How’s that gonna look when I show Twilight and Amber?”

She cleaned the dirt and replaced the seed and feather, and carried the basin angrily down the stairs. She stopped and seethed at the bottom when she realised she forgot the book. Winona bounded up to her and barked happily, quite oblivious to her bad mood.

“Hey Winona, can you go fetch my book from my bedroom floor?” asked Apple Bloom.

Winona rocketed up the stairs. Apple Bloom managed a smile again for a little while, until Winona returned with the item she was ordered to fetch.

Apple Bloom arrived at the castle before Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle did, and showed Twilight, Amber, and Starlight her basin.

“Oh,” Amber looked slightly disappointed.

“Yeah. I only got as far as step 6,” groaned Apple Bloom. “The worst step. In fact, all the steps are really stupid. I was starting to think you lied to me about this ritual.”

“Well, I never said it worked,” shrugged Amber. “I just said I didn’t have trouble with it.”

“You never had anything with it!” snapped Apple Bloom. “You made it up!”

“Not just me. Twilight and Starlight wrote it too.”

Twilight and Starlight flinched at the look Apple Bloom gave them.

“Did you look at the pages we closed off?” asked Starlight.

Apple Bloom told them that Winona carried the book to her with the bands in her mouth, and that she had bit down a little too hard.

“Blank!” she slapped the empty first few pages of Growing Rituals. “You erased all the pages and wrote your own instructions in it!”

“Apple Bloom,” said Twilight, “we didn’t want to you do any of the actual rituals in that book.”

“Then why didn’t you just tell me that?!” demanded Apple Bloom. “Couldn’t you have just said ‘Apple Bloom, you cannot perform any of the rituals in this book’?”

“We thought all you needed was some confidence,” said Twilight.

“Confidence?!”

Twilight ducked as Apple Bloom chucked the mostly blank book at her.

“I’ve never been so frustrated in all my life! I spent hours making a top soil castle and taking it down, waiting for squirrels to eat all my peanuts, and shuffling that stupid deck of cards for days! Days! I’ll never play go fish again! Oh and guess what. You morons forgot to include a step about watering the flippin seed! I shoulda known you were tricking me!”

And she kicked the basin, shattering it and upsetting soil all over the floor.

Apple Bloom collapsed onto the dirty floor after her rant. She didn’t feel as angry as she did seconds ago now, but she still resisted when Twilight reached out to help her up.

“I’m sorry we caused you so much grief,” said Twilight.

“So are we,” said Amber.

Starlight nodded.

“Like we said, we thought you could build your confidence if you thought the ritual we made up was working,” Twilight went on. “We didn’t think to include the only thing plants really need.”

“It was kinda fun making up those steps,” Amber chuckled.

“But we didn’t mean for them to be time consuming and frustrating,” put in Starlight.

Apple Bloom glanced at the three horned ponies for a second before looking sulkily back at the pile of potting soil.

Twilight sighed. “Do you want to know what kind of things you’d have to do if you were to perform a real growing ritual from that book?”

“Oh, you’re not gonna tell her any of that, are you?” Starlight squinted uncomfortably.

Apple Bloom sat up. Starlight covered her ears.

“I’ll whisper it,” said Twilight. “Just one of the stages in that ritual on page 34.”

“Uh, I think step 4 on page 17 is tamer,” said Amber.

“Hmm. Yeah, you’re right,” agreed Twilight.

And she whispered something into Apple Bloom’s ear.

“And farmers did that?!” cried Apple Bloom in horror.

“The ones who fell for it,” said Twilight. “Growing Rituals isn’t an instruction manual, Apple Bloom. It’s a historical account of a tissue of lies by one of the most sadistic figures in Equestrian history. He claimed he’d had success with many of these rituals when ponies asked him how he always grew the most and the best crops. He thought it was funny that so many of his competitors were struggling to either grow decent fruits and vegetables, or trying to keep up with them. He wrote down a list of evil deeds and encouraged ponies to try them, just so he could watch everyone perform the depraved acts he wanted to see happen as he lived out his retirement.”

Apple Bloom shuddered.

“I know this won’t mean much coming from me,” said Amber Aldis, “but I think this goes to prove you can’t always believe what you read.”

Apple Bloom stood up. “I’m sorry I snapped at you guys.”

“And I’m sorry I gave you those phony instructions,” said Twilight. “I shouldn’t have given you false information for your Twilight Time activity.”

“That’s alright, Twilight, I’m real grateful that you’re still willin to teach me, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle stuff even though we all have our cutie marks now,” said Apple Bloom.

“Oh, thank you,” smiled Twilight. “It’s a pleasure.”

“Speaking of Twilight Time activities,” Spike spoke from an open doorway, “how good has Sweetie Belle gotten lifting a broom with her magic? Cause I’m not cleaning that up.”

Author's Note

Twilight had been left out of my title cards lately, hadn't she?