Normally, Twilight Time consisted of either a recap of previous lessons and the observation of progression, or Twilight reciting things either from memory or direct from book. But today, things were different.

“Whoa! Is Pinkie Pie taking over today?” asked Scootaloo.

The door to the castle library was barred by a net, which was containing thousands and thousands of coloured balls.

Twilight entered the hallway. “Good afternoon, girls. Our Twilight Time activity will be a little different today. I’ve turned my library into a ball pit, and Spike, Nyx, and Owlowiscious are all hiding in it. I challenge you three to find them. When you find one of them, bring them to the surface. The first Crusader to find someone in the ball pit wins.”

The Cutie Mark Crusaders were so enthusiastic about this challenge that they overtook Twilight as they climbed the stairs to the upper hallway.

“Don’t start until I get up there!” she called to the fillies as they zipped upstairs ahead of her.

Apple Bloom made it to the inner balcony first.

“This is so much better than having to tell Twilight my sapling hasn’t grown one bit,” she said ambivalently.

On one hoof, she would have liked some more schooling on plant growing. On the other, this was sure to be a good change of pace.

Soon, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo were ready to dive from their respective book cases into the ball pit.

“On your marks!” called Twilight. “Get set! Go!”

They plunged in. Apple Bloom paddled downwards and shoved balls aside, her head darting this way and that. All she could hear was the sound of clunking plastic at first, but eventually she heard voices. At first she thought this might be her fellow CMCs.

“We’ll get there, Amber. Between what Twilight salvaged from the Blackout Shelter and what she appropriated from Pulp Puree’s lab, I know we’ll find a cure.”

As soon as Apple Bloom realised that it was Starlight’s voice she was hearing, her face hit a net. It wasn’t the same one she and her friends saw in the entrance hall. This one was keeping the balls out of the castle lab.

“Hey, Apple Bloom,” waved Amber Aldis.

“Find anyone yet?” asked Starlight Glimmer.

“I wouldn’t be down here if I had,” replied Apple Bloom.

“Better get a move on, then,” said Amber.

So Apple Bloom turned herself around and paddled towards the center of the library.

The next several minutes were uneventful, and Apple Bloom quickly felt that the novelty was wearing off. She heard no shouting from either Scootaloo or Sweetie Belle that indicated that they’d located someone in the pit. The next thing Apple Bloom found as a book about the properties of artificial flavours lying on the floor.

“Looks like Spike left one behind while he was cleaning,” she said.

Now that she’d gotten to the floor, she had an easier time manoeuvring forward as she pushed the plastic balls aside. She slipped at one point, and realised when she looked back that she’d tripped on another book. Ironically, it was entitled “A Guide to Preventing Domestic Accidents”. It seemed to her that there were several books on the floor. She didn’t think much of it as she carried on exploring the library full of colourful balls, but then the third one she found on the floor caught her eye.

“Planting Like a Pro?”

She decided to skim through it quickly to see if she could find anything useful, as she was still a bit disappointed in herself about her countless failed saplings.

Twilight was flying above the pool of balls, keeping her ears open.

“Marco!” she heard Sweetie Belle yell.

“No, Sweetie! You’re not allowed to do that!” Twilight called.

“Won’t help ya!” Scootaloo’s voice arose. “I found Spike!”

“Polo!” called Spike.

“Scootaloo wins!” declared Twilight. “Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, there are two hiders left!”

“Alright!” replied Sweetie Belle.

“Scootaloo, Spike, whereabouts in the room are you?!” asked Twilight.

“Don’t know!” Scootaloo responded.

“All I can see is balls!” added Spike. “And this book about battle fatigue!”

“I found a book about frostaceans!” said Scootaloo. “How come there are so many books lying around, Twilight?!”

“Oh. Well, I transformed all of the books in the library into little balls!” Twilight answered. “I guess I missed a few!”

She heard a surprised yelp that could only belong to her adopted daughter.

“I found Nyx!” called Sweetie Belle.

“Sweetie Belle gets second place!” declared Twilight. “Apple Bloom, you may be last place, but you can still try and find Owlowiscious if you like! … Apple Bloom, can you hear me?!”

Apple Bloom heard nothing. She’d found a page in Planting Like a Pro about growing rituals that greatly peaked her interest.

“For generations, earth ponies have performed a variety of rituals to great effect. Some have considered the use of growing rituals time consuming and difficult, which can already describe the planting and farming process and industry. But others have found that the effort is well worth it, as their crops have flourished and their hobbies and/or livelihoods thrived. Ritualistic methods turned out to be particularly beneficial to those who implemented them at a young age.”

Apple Bloom grew excited, but before she could read on, Starlight appeared from behind a wall of coloured balls.

“Found her!” she called upwards.

Then next thing Apple Bloom knew, she found herself teleported alongside Starlight to the top of a book case. The first thing she saw was Amber looking slightly bitter. No doubt she was thinking about her unique spell that she could no longer safely perform. Apple Bloom looked around, still holding Planting Like a Pro. Twilight was flying towards her, and Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, Spike, and Nyx were standing atop case tops just like she, Starlight, and Amber were doing. She quickly realised that she’d gotten side-tracked, and that Owlowiscious had yet to be found.

“How come you didn’t answer us, Apple Bloom?” asked Twilight. “We were worried there.”

“Sorry, Twilight. I found this on the floor, and… well, I thought it could help me,” said Apple Bloom.

“Oh. Is the seed you planted three weeks ago not doing well?”

“It’s just a little green stick poking outta the soil in the basin,” admitted Apple Bloom. “I haven’t been able to grow anything decent since that one time.”

“So did you find any methods you wanna try out?” asked Twilight, grinning at the book Apple Bloom was holding. “Like planting the seed in sand? Or leaving the plant in a dark room overnight?”

Apple Bloom glanced to her right and realised she wasn’t the only filly holding into a book that she found.

“That!” she pointed the book Sweetie Belle was holding.

Twilight turned around and jumped.

“Growing Rituals?! Oh, no! That’s a book from the restricted section.”

She magiced the book from Sweetie Belle.

“We have a restricted section?” asked Spike. “This library’s only one room.”

“The restricted shelf,” Twilight corrected herself.

“I wanna try one of those,” Apple Bloom reached out for the book.

But Twilight kept it out of her reach. “You don’t want anything to do with what’s in this book.”

“But this one…” Apple Bloom held up the book she’d found, “said that the really hard ones work well for young ponies like me.”

“Well I don’t think you’ve read the whole…”

“Please let me look at those, Twilight.”

“No! These rituals aren’t worth it,” insisted Twilight.

“But everything we do has an effect. Right, Starlight?”

Starlight shuffled.

“Twilight, come with me,” Amber jumped into the ball pit.

Twilight, a look of confusion and disdain on her face, dived into the pit after Amber; keeping Growing Rituals with her. Apple Bloom watched with disappointment as Starlight jumped into the pit as well.

“She ain’t gonna let me try anything just because of that Love Poison situation,” she groaned, remembering that mishap on Hearts & Hooves day.

“We did kinda mess that up, didn’t we?” sighed Scootaloo.

“Well, we didn’t mess up the concoction. We just didn’t know it was a poison,” said Sweetie Belle. “If Apple Bloom reads all the instructions and notes, she shouldn’t have any trouble with those rituals.”

“Twilight says those rituals are no good, and we should take her word,” Nyx insisted. “I think she was right to keep that book from you, Apple Bloom.”

“I don’t think she’s keeping it from her,” said Spike. “I think she’s proofreading it so see if there are any in there that are worth doing.”

Apple Bloom hoped Spike was right.

Twilight, Amber, and Starlight returned from within the ball pit several minutes later.

“Sorry to keep you all waiting,” said Twilight.

She passed Growing Rituals to Apple Bloom, who quickly grabbed it. She saw that there were two rubber bands binding pages to the front and back covers. Only a few pages in the middle of the book were free.

“Amber remembered a project she did in magic school that came from this book,” said Twilight.

“I didn’t have much trouble with it,” said Amber. “And I didn’t even have to use magic to carry out any of the instructions. So… nothing’s changed.”

She frowned a bit, and then perked up again.

“The point is, I think you can pull it off.”

“But you’re to stick to the pages that aren’t bound to the hardcover. And stick to the instructions exactly as they’re written,” warned Twilight. “Can you promise me that?”

“Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye,” promised Apple Bloom excitedly.

“Very well. You can start tomorrow and we’ll see how you do next week,” smiled Twilight. “Now then, where’s Owlowiscious hiding?”

Apple Bloom opened Growing Rituals to the band-free pages as soon as she, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle left the castle that evening.

“This collection of ancient practises can be used to grow any kind of plant, from flowers to trees. Step 1, fetch a bucket or basin and fill it with soil. Step 2, place the seed you intend to plant on top of the soil in the container. Step 3, push the seed into the soil with a feather stolen from a pony without his or her knowledge.”

“Oh, darn! I can’t take a feather from you now. You’ll know it was me,” grumbled Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo cringed. It didn’t happen often, but she hated when somepony plucked one of her feathers. They carried on reading.

“Keep the feather in the soil after you’ve pushed the seed in. Step 4, with the rest of the soil in the bag, make a castle. Like a sand castle, but with potting soil.”

“A castle?” Sweetie Belle tilted her head.

“Casa de Bloom,” chuckled Scootaloo.

“We’ve got plenty of potting soil at the farm,” Apple Bloom grinned. “So I’m all set there. Step 5, go to a forest clearing with a bag of nuts, throw the nuts all around, and wait for squirrels to work their way to you.”

“Fluttershy ought to have peanuts at her cottage,” said Scootaloo.

“Let’s just hope she doesn’t get mad that you’re gonna overfeed her squirrel friends,” said Sweetie Belle

They read on.

“Take the closest empty nut shell to you and place it on top of the feather like a hat. Step 6, take a deck of cards, shuffle them, and draw a card. Repeat this process until you draw a six of cubs.”

“I guess we know why this is step 6,” chuckled Sweetie Belle.

“Once you draw a six of clubs, use that card to flick the nut shell hat off of the feather.”

As they read on, they found the steps more and more bizzare and inexplicable, but not beyond Apple Bloom’s abilities.

Author's Note

Inspired by "The Primitive Sergeant" from George Carlin's book "Brain Droppings".