At this point, we were at a stage in the game where I felt it would end rather soon. However, once a winner was declared, it would be time for everyone to make a haiku, and given the ones who were playing, I was eager to see the ridiculousness that I knew would ensue.

I soon grabbed a new black card and began round nine. "War!" I yelled, slamming my fist on the dining room table. Everyone else, except Discord, stared at me with wide eyes as I remained silent for several seconds. "What is it good for?" I finished.

"Definitely not this," Celestia said, sliding what I assumed was a throwaway over to me.

"Well, I'm definitely not winning this game," Twilight said, "I just can't seem to get any decent cards." She then floated her card to where Celestia's was.

Soon, four more cards appeared in front of me, and I was more than ready to read all of them. "War!" I began again, "What is it good for? The eight gay warlocks who dictate the rules of fashion. Uhhh...I'm not sure that's possible, 'cause everyone pretty much wears the same thing. Anyway, doin' it in the butt. Nah, I don't think so. The systematic destruction of an entire people and their way of life. Wow..."

"Well, that was rather accurate..." Discord said.

"Well, yeah, if you think about it. Anyway, Battlefield amputations."

A few "Oooooh...'s" ensued.

"My soul. I mean, like...nah. Forget it. Agriculture. Nah, that doesn't work either. Who had the systematic destruction card?"

"That would be me, thank you," Luna said, noticeably happy to be a part of the now three-way-tie for first place, "I must say, Cadance, I though you were most certainly going to win during the last round, but now that there seems to be three of us in the lead, things may have just gotten a little more interesting," she finished with a moderately sly grin.

"I must say, I have to agree with you, Luna," the pink princess replied, giving her an equal expression.

"Alright, let's see what's up next," Rainbow Dash said as she took the next card from the pile. "After months of practice with _____," she began, "I think I'm finally ready for _____."

I then heard Twilight giggle. "This 'oughta sound interesting," she said while passing her two cards to Rainbow.

"No throwaway this time?" I asked the purple alicorn.

"Nope!" she happily replied.

After less than a minute, Rainbow Dash had twelve cards sitting in front of her. "Alright, let's do this," she said, "After months of practice with an unstoppable wave of fire ants, I think I'm ready for seeing my village burned and my family slaughtered before my eyes. Dang...Those are some pretty powerful fire ants. After months of practice with a sex goblin with a carnival penis, I think I'm finally ready for carnies. I mean, I guess... After months of practice with calculating every mannerism so as not to suggest homosexuality, I think I'm finally ready for cute boys. Ha! That was pretty clever!" All the others laughed a little. "After months of practice with the safe word, I think I'm finally ready for the gays. Nah. After months of practice with going to a high school reunion on ketamine, I think I'm finally ready for 90 miles per hour and no brakes."

Discord giggled slightly. "That 'ought to be an interesting show," he said with a coy smile.

"After months of practice with screaming like a maniac, I think I'm finally ready for the day the birds attacked. Hahaha!" This caused all of us to laugh at the humorous Alfred Hitchcock reference, even if the majority of us had no idea who he was. "That was pretty funny! I like it! Who had that combo?"

"Huzzah! We are victorious!" Luna exclaimed as she leapt out of her seat, flapping her enormous wings while throwing her forehooves in the air.

"Nice one, Luna!" I said to our winner.

"I must say, that last one was a job well done!" Discord said, congratulating the alicorn.

"Aw, come on!" Rainbow wailed in slight despair.

"Rainbow, calm down!" Twilight said, "All you wanted to do was to beat me, right?"

This got the pegasus' attention. "Uhhh...yeah. Why?" Rainbow asked.

"Well, how many cards do you have?"

"Let's see. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. I have eight cards."

"Well, I only have six, so even though you didn't win the whole thing, you still accomplished what you wanted to from the beginning!"

Rainbow smiled upon realizing that Twilight was correct. "Hey, you're right, Twilight!" she replied, "I did beat you! Ha! Yes!" All Twilight did in reply was lower her eyelids slightly while she continued smiling at the pegasus.

"Alright," I said, "Who's ready to make a haiku?"

"Ah, splendid!" Discord said, "My favorite part of the game!"

"Wait, really?" I asked in return.

"Well...other than winning of course. But that doesn't matter. Where's the card?"

"Right here," I replied, reaching into the lid of the box and pulling the black card out. I set it on the table before saying, "Alright, everyone, go ahead and draw 2."

"There's more?" Cadance asked.

"Yep," I replied, "This is how we close out each game. For this one, there's no Card Czar, so we'll each read out own responses. Once you draw 2, you have to pick 3 cards to make a haiku, as it says here on the card, but you don't have to literally make a haiku, if you know what I mean."

"Gotcha," Cadance replied before looking at her cards.

This, like I had expected, took a lot longer than normal. I had a really hard time finding three cards that would go together in some way, shape, or form. Eventually, I decided that I wasn't going to win this card and placed three random cards down on top of each other.

After about 2 minutes, all seven of us had a 'haiku' in front of ourselves. "Alright, I'll start," I said, picking my 3 cards up, "Rising from the grave, subduing a grizzly bear and making her your wife, my dad's dumb fucking face."

Rainbow read hers next. "Sudden penis loss, penis envy, giant sperm from outer space," she said. Everyone giggled at that.

Twilight then said, "Wearing glasses and sounding smart, growing a pair, tripping balls."

Cadance was up next. "Strong female characters, important news about Taylor Swift, mom," she read aloud.

Realizing it was her turn, Luna said, "A bitch slap, revenge fucking, my dead son's baseball glove."

"Ooooooooh..." came the voices of the rest of us.

Celestia then read hers out loud. "Whispering all sexy, a gentle caress of the inner thigh, one trillion dollars."

"Ha!" Rainbow laughed out loud.

"Well," Discord began, "I should warn you, mine gets progressively dark, and by progressively, I mean very fast."

"Let it out, man," I replied.

"Okay, then. A boo-boo, Auschwitz, the Apophis Asteroid."

Rainbow, Twilight, and I stared at Discord's cards with wide eyes. After a lengthy silence, I said, "Hey, Discord, can you make a bottle of cider appear?"

"Uhhh..." the draconequus began to reply, "...Sssssure?" He then snapped his fingers, and a bottle of Sweet Apple Acres brand cider appeared in my right hand.

I then leaned back in my chair, putting my legs up over the miniscule armrest to my right while I looked down at the table. "Boy..." I began, soon looking upwards at no one in particular, "That escalated quickly. I mean, that really got out of hand! Fast!"

"HAHAHA!!!" Discord laughed, banging his fist on the table, "That was perfect! I didn't realize you were this good at impressions!"

"Well, I try," I replied, sitting back up and setting the bottle of cider on the table.

"Hey, what's A-Au...whatever that second card was?" Rainbow asked.

"Okay," I began explaining, "So, about 83 years ago in my world, which, for you guys, would be..." I paused, doing some math in my head, "996 moons ago, this guy named Hitler was appointed Chancellor of a country far east from where I live. He was eventually considered a dictator, and he wanted to kill everyone who was part of a certain religion, so he sent his army out to forcibly take all of those people, regardless of age, out of their homes and shove them on trains that would take them away. Have you guys heard of concentration camps or works camps or anything of that nature?"

"Well, I believe that's sort of what King Sombra did to the Crystal Ponies before the Crystal Heart was found," Cadance said.

"Oh, yes, that's right," Celestia mentioned, "He had them chained up like prisoners and forced them to do whatever he ordered them to do."

"Well, that's what Hitler did with these people. He sent them all to these concentration camps where they would either be systematically killed on arrival or be forced to work until it was their turn to die. Auschwitz was one of these camps."

"Oh my..." Luna said, sympathetically, "How long did this go on for?"

"Well, even though the official beginning date is controversial, it lasted for about twelve years, or 144 moons, until the war that was happening at the time brought it to a halt, while the war itself ended. Unfortunately, the death toll for those people was around 11 million."

There was another brief silence. "So..." Twilight began, "Discord basically went from a small injury to 11 million deaths to mass extinction of every living thing?"

"I guess I did," Discord replied as he snapped his fingers again, making the bottle of cider disappear.

"So," I said, "Let's see who wins. I for one, don't really like what I played."

"I think Discord's is a little too dark at the moment," Luna began, "But I'll admit, it was a good effort."

"I think Twilight's and Cadance's should be put to the side at this point," Discord said.

"You know," Cadance began, "I really like Rainbow's! I mean, going from losing your penis to getting jealous to eventually summoning giant sperm from outer space to annoy whoever you got jealous over is pretty darn smart!"

"I must say," Celestia said, "That was rather clever."

"I liked it, too," I replied, "Think we should give Rainbow one last Awesome Point?"

"Yeah!" came the voices of Twilight, Cadance, Luna, Celestia, and Discord in unison.

"Well, you heard them, Rainbow. Nice job!"

"Awesome!" Rainbow exclaimed with glee.

As we each helped to clean up the area, I asked, "So, what did you guys think of the game?"

"Oh, you don't know how happy I am that you brought this with you!" Discord said, "Thank you!"

"I really needed this," Cadance said as she used her magic to manipulate a broom and dustpan to pick up any crumbs that were on the floor, "I just wish Shining was here. He'd get a real kick out of it!"

"I'd certainly like to play again sometime in the future," Celestia said, smiling.

"I would, as well," Luna followed up, "I've never seen anything like this before!"

"Well," I began again, "You're all welcome to either come to my world or bring me back here if you wanna play again!"

"Hey, I have an idea!" Twilight said, putting a feather duster down before running up in front of me.

"What's up, Twi?" I asked the alicorn.

"Would you mind staying for a little while longer? Maybe we can create a new version of this game, but with cards that everyone in Equestria would understand."

"Hey, that sounds like a great idea, Twilight!" Rainbow replied, "I'd totally like to see that when it's done!"

"Heh...Why not?" I finally said, "Maybe later, we can play another game with that set of cards."

"Exactly!" Twilight replied, "Here, let's go into the library and start working on it!"

"Great!" I replied.

For the rest of the day, after the others left, I stayed with Twilight and helped her develop a new edition of Cards Against Humanity that would only be available in Equestria. I told her not to ever bring it to my world, however, as I didn't want any suspicions of forgery or copyright infringement to linger, which meant she would have to come and get people from my world and bring them to Equestria, which I didn't think would be an issue - not for the longest time.

When we finally finished, it was late at night, so I stayed in one of Twilight's guest rooms for the night and then she saw me off the next morning. All I remember seeing was another bright flash of light before everything vanished.

Author's Note

Meanwhile, an argument over a disappearing, and eventually reappearing, bottle of apple cider was being had at a nearby farm. LOL

Anyway, the winner is Princess Luna!

Thank you all so much for reading the second (and most likely final) installment in this Cards Against Humanity series. I sincerely hope you enjoyed yourselves, and I really hope that lots of laughter ensued.

Here are the final scores:

Me: 9
RD: 8 (plus 'make a haiku')
TS: 6
Cadance: 9
Luna: 10
Celestia: 8
Discord: 8

Here are the cards remaining in everyone's hands:

Me:
The color "puce".
Genetically engineered super-soldiers.
Bio-engineered assault turtles with acid breath.
All the single ladies.
Being nine years old.
A crappy little hand.
Synergistic management solutions.
Amputees.
Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.

RD:
A box-shaped man.
Ambiguous sarcasm.
A gassy antelope.
The sweet sound of sword against sword and the braying of mighty war beasts.
Owls, the perfect predator.
Tasteful sideboob.
A micropig wearing a tiny raincoat and booties.
The J15 Patriot Assault Box.
A saxophone solo.

TS:
The profoundly handicapped.
Quivering jowls.
Chainsaws for hands.
An alternate universe in which boxes store things inside of people.
Dead babies.
Centaurs.
The female orgasm.
Queefing.
A mopey zoo lion.

Cadance:
Child beauty pageants.
A good sniff.
An interracial handshake.
Hospice care.
Classist undertones.
Geese.
Heartwarming orphans.
Soup that is too hot.
Savagely beating a mascot.

Luna:
Actual mutants with medical conditions and no superpowers.
Magnets.
Getting really high.
Jafar.
Jumping out at people.
When you fart and a little bit comes out.
Poor people.
Unlimited soup, salad, and breadsticks.
Goblins.

Celestia:
Repression.
An icepick lobotomy.
My manservant, Claude.
Sports.
Hot people.
The Three-Fifths Compromise.
All these decorative pillows.
The power of the Dark Side.
Sanding off a man's nose.

Discord:
A smiling black man, a latina businesswoman, a cool Asian, and some whites.
Statistically validated stereotypes.
A reason not to commit suicide.
A squadron of moles wearing aviator goggles.
Heteronormativity.
A spontaneous conga line.
Opposable thumbs.
A man so cool that he rides in on a motorcycle.
Becoming a blueberry.