Not wanting to waste any more time, I went for the next card in the stack. When I saw what it said, I knew the others were going go to let me have it...HARD. "How am I compensating for my tiny penis?" I asked with comical shame. Rainbow Dash laughed at me pretty hard.

"I suppose this would be adequate compensation," Luna said, passing me her card.

"Oh, I think this will be much better than whatever you have, Luna," Celestia said. It always made me laugh inside seeing the royal sisters getting competitive against each other like this.

"Everyone ready?" I eventually asked, to which I received six nods, "Alright. How am I compensating for my tiny penis? A shiny rock that proves I love you. Awww... That's sweet. Bill Nye the Science Guy."

I then looked questioningly at Twilight while retaining a smile. "What?" she asked, not expecting me to do so, despite the science-related card being played.

I giggled. "Nothing," I replied, "Anyway, nunchuck moves. I suppose... Unquestioning obedience. AKA living with a 24-hour dominatrix - no, thank you. Powerful thighs. Nah. Mad hacky sack skills. Not this time. I think I'll go with the rock card.

"Splendid!" Luna said, happily.

"I think that's probably the first time I've ever played this game where I actually chose the sweetest answer over all the others," I said to no one in particular as I slid Luna's Awesome Point over to her.

"Cool!" Rainbow replied. She then took the next card in the stack and asked, "Why am I broke?"

"Wonderbolts merchandise," I said, chuckling slightly. This got the others chuckling, too, but Rainbow just rolled her eyes.

"Mine's a throwaway, unfortunately," Discord said.

"So is mine," Cadance added. This made Rainbow smile, as she knew Cadance's chances of winning right here and now had just greatly diminished.

"Alright, let's do this," Rainbow soon said before picking up the first of six white cards in front of her, "Why am I broke? Former President George W. Bush. Well, I don't really know anything about him, but given the implications, I'll save him for later. A box of biscuits, a box of mixed biscuits, and a biscuit mixer. Geez, that's a pretty big box... Epically failing at life." All of us comically groaned. "WOW... That...that hurts. Changing a person's mind with logic and facts. Nah. A boxing match with a giant box."

"Did you bet all your money on the wrong box?" Cadance asked while chuckling.

"Hahaha...Who knows?" Rainbow continued, "Anyway, hip hop jewels. Are those usually expensive?"

"Well, they can involve quite a bit of gold," I explained, "Depending on exactly what you want. They're usually custom made, so that can cost extra."

"Interesting. I guess I'll go with that one."

"Whooo!" I cheered, snatching the black card from Rainbow's hoof.

"You seem excited," Twilight said.

"Why shouldn't I be?" I replied, "I'm closer to catching Cadance than any of you!"

Twilight remained silent for a few seconds. "Touche..." she replied, "Anyway, let's see what the next card is." As she spoke, the next black card became enveloped in the alicorn's aura and floated over to her. Twilight then sported a slightly annoyed look. "I despise people who don't know anything about _____!" she exclaimed while slamming her hoof on the table.

I looked at my hand and couldn't find anything worthwhile to play. I then picked a random card to toss in, but right before I did so, I looked at it one more time, quickly noticing that it had something to do with science, and given that the pony who some could consider to be the biggest science geek in Equestria was the Card Czar, I knew that I had a slightly better chance of winning.

Soon, Twilight had all our selections. "Okay," she began, "I despise people who don't know anything about Arnold Sch...Schwaaaaarrr..."

"Schwarzenegger," I said, correcting her.

"Thanks," the alicorn replied, "Who is he?"

"He's a politician and movie star."

"Cool! Anyway, I despise people who don't know anything about how awesome I am!"

"Hey!" Rainbow exclaimed, "That's my line!" Everyone else laughed at her sarcastic anger.

"I despise people who don't know anything about embryonic stem cells! Perfect! I despise people who don't know anything about having a penis!"

"So you despise yourself?" Discord asked, inquisitively.

Twilight smiled and rolled her eyes before continuing. "I despise people who don't know anything about Neil Patrick Harris!"

"HAHAHA!!!" Discord laughed, "Oh, Twilight, you sounded like the biggest 'How I Met Your Mother' fanatic of all time!"

"Huh?" the purple pony asked in confusion.

"It's just a TV show," I replied, "I didn't really care for it, but I didn't know Discord was such a big fan."

"Uhhh...okay? Anyway, I despise people who don't know anything about the day Luigi killed Mario. Nah. You know, as much as I love the stem cell card, I'm gonna go with how awesome I am. I really liked how that sounded."

"I'll take that, Twilight," Celestia said. She was now tied with me for second place.

"Alright, let's see what we've got here," Cadance said, taking the next card from the stack, "Member's of New York's social elite are paying thousands of dollars just to experience _____."

Discord laughed evilly. "Oh-ho-ho, this should be interesting..." he said, sliding his card over to Cadance.

"This is probably the best I've got, at the moment..." Luna said as she passed her choice in.

Cadance soon asked if we were ready, to which we all nodded. "Alright," she continued, "Members of New York's social elite are paying thousands of dollars just to experience a gender identity that can only be conveyed through slam poetry. Hmmm...Nah. They're paying thousands of dollars just to experience December 21st, 2012."

"Well, well, well..." Discord said, "It seems they're the only ones who want the world to end..."

"Just to experience spending a week with the Tourette's Guy."

"Wow, that 'oughta be interesting..." I said, giggling lightly.

"Just to experience Roland the Farter, flatulist to the king. Hahaha! That sounds pretty clever. Just to experience a world without boxes. Hehe...That's kinda funny. Just to experience sex with Patrick Stewart."

"Now that is something I'd like to see!" Discord said out loud.

"Wait, really??" I asked.

"Oh, wait, what am I saying?!?" the draonequus replied in despair, realizing what he had just said, "Never mind. Please continue."

"Alright," Cadance said, "I think I'll go with...spending a week with the Tourette's Guy."

"Oh, wonderful!" Discord said, using his chaotic magic to snag the black card away from the pink alicorn.

"Cadance, please tell me you know who the Tourette's Guy is," I said.

"Oh, of course!" she replied, "Discord told me about him a while back, and I must say, he's rather...strange, to say the least."

"Alright," I finished.

Just then, Luna picked up the next card from the stack. "Oh my," she said, looking at the text on the card, "It has been quite some time since Discord told me about this famous phrase."

"Which one?" I asked.

"This is madness!" she said in a rather loud tone. Then, in the Royal Canterlot Voice, Luna said, "No. THIS IS _____!" I couldn't help but laugh at the word 'blank' being spoken rather than the implied city name.

"So, Discord," I asked the draconequus, "Did you like '300'?"

"Actually, I didn't see the entire movie," he admitted, "I only know of that scene and the one where that leader-guy Leonidas says they'll be dining in Hell later that night."

"Oh, alright. I didn't realize you only knew of those scenes."

After all that was over, I looked at my cards and noticed one that only had a two-syllable word on it. Even though it wasn't 'Sparta', I figured it may still work.

"Is everyone ready?" Luna eventually asked. We all nodded, so she took the first card in her magic and began reading once again. I covered my ears this time, as I knew she would most likely be using the Royal Canterlot Voice once again. "This is madness! No. THIS IS FRICTION!" I giggled a little at the use of that card. "This is madness! No. THIS IS SOCIALLY AWKWARD PENGUIN!"

"Excuse me?" Celestia asked in confusion.

"It's just a meme series back where I'm from," I explained.

"This is madness! No. THIS IS KHAKIS!" I giggled again, and so did Discord. "THIS IS BARACK OBAMA!"

"That probably wasn't the best time to use that card," I said.

"THIS IS SWOOPING! Hmmm...I suppose. THIS IS CH-..." she paused for a few seconds. "...Child abuse." Most of us cringed at that.

"Ouch..." Rainbow said.

"Yeah," Twilight followed up, "That's a little harsh."

"You are both certainly right," Luna said, "I think the winner shall be Khakis."

"Yes!" Twilight exclaimed. She seemed rather relieved to finally be getting more points.

As soon as Twilight's Awesome Point was in her stack, Celestia took the next one from the center of the table. "Well, what do you have to say for yourself, Casey?" she began, "This is the third time you've been sent to the principal's office for _____."

"I believe this shall be a suitable answer," Luna said, passing her card to her elder sister.

"Mine's a throwaway, unfortunately," Discord said.

"Okay, let's go," Celestia continued, having received the last of the cards, "Well, what do you have to say for yourself, Casey? This is the third time you've been sent to the principal's office for holding a child down and farting all over him."

"Ewww! Gross!" Rainbow exclaimed in disgust.

"This is the third time you've been sent to the principal's office for almost giving money to a homeless person."

"Almost," Cadance mentioned, "He didn't actually do it."

"I see. This is the third time you've been sent to the principal's office for burning down a hospital."

"Woooowww..." I said.

"This is the third time you've been sent to the principal's office for a web of lies."

"HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!" Discord laughed, "That's so true!"

"Yes, I suppose so, Discord," Celestia said while smiling, "Anyway, this is the third time you've been sent to the principal's office for words, words, words. I'll just look at that as talking excessively. This is the third time you've been sent to the principal's office for..." she then started giggling. "...Wow, I feel really naughty saying this. Some really fucked-up shit." The rest of us lost it. I had already heard Luna say some dirty things today, but now Celestia of all ponies?? This was well worth the trip.

Once the laughing died down, Celestia selected a winner, even though she was chuckling a little while speaking. "I think I'll go with a web of lies. That makes the most sense in this context."

"Awesome!" Rainbow exclaimed, obviously glad to be back in the tie for second place.

Finally, it was time for Discord to be the Card Czar once again. I was really looking forward to whatever antics he had in store, but I knew quite quickly that nothing like that would be happening. "_____." he began, "CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!"

"Oooh...This should be nice..." Twilight said in a mischievous tone as she floated her card over to Discord.

"Oh, really?" Discord asked in reply.

"Yep," Twilight replied, confidently.

"Well, we shall see about that..." Discord replied, noticing the last cards being given to him, "The light of a billion suns." The draconequus then turned to face Celestia. "CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!" Celestia giggled lightly, and so did all the others. "Cheating in the Special Olympics. CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!"

"Woooowww..." I said for the second time this round, "That's a pretty tough challenge, if you ask me."

"Dropping a chandelier on your enemies and riding the rope up. Challenge...accepted? No. Necrophilia. Challenge accepted. I don't think so. Re-...pffft...HAHAHA!!! Republicans! CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!" I laughed at that. "Se-...What?? HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!" Discord laughed again, "Setting my balls on fire and cartwheeling to Ohio! CHALLENGE ACCEPTED! Now that was hilarious! I think I'll choose that one."

"Sweet!" I said out loud. At the same time, I couldn't help but feel dumbfounded at the fact that there was still no winner. "Hey, guys," I began, "I'm not really in the mood for a break right now, 'cause the next round is most likely gonna be the last, unless we each have 9 by the end of it, which, in my opinion, probably isn't gonna happen, even though it's still mathematically possible."

"You make a rather decent point, my friend," Luna said.

"I'm okay with finishing this off," Celestia said.

"Yeah! Let's do it!" Cadance said, excitedly.

"Alright!" I replied.

Author's Note

Yep. Still no winner. How this happened, I have no idea.

Here are the Awesome Point totals after round eight:

Me: 9
RD: 8
TS: 6
Cadance: 9
Luna: 8
Celestia: 8
Discord: 8