Angel had never been hungover before.

She’d drunk a few times when out with older friends who insisted on buying alcohol for her, but she’d never gotten more than pleasantly buzzed. The mornings after had left her a little groggy, but never with the headache or mental sluggishness her friends described.

Though her head felt fine, Angel awoke to a brain that was struggling to process what had just happened. Her mind was foggy. Clouded. And very slow to clear up.

What happened? Angel pondered, staring straight up at her ceiling. I… I remember Nightmare Night. Luna came to see me. We talked about… about… Angel sighed, her eyes beginning to well up with tears. That… that wasn’t a dream, was it? I’m… I’m really… She took a deap, shuddering breath before forcing herself to move on.

I just sort of lied here after that, she recalled. Cried myself to sleep. Woke up and… did nothing? No, wait. Angel’s eyebrows furrowed as her mind cleared up further. I didn’t do anything. I just lay here for hours after the sun had come up. I was… pretty out of it. And then… I dozed off. A few times. Got hungry and… Her eyes went wide with dawning horror. I… I just lay there.

Angel sat bolt upright. “I just lay there,” she muttered, trembling. “I just… let hours and hours pass. Days. What did Fluttershy say? Five days? A week? Did I seriously just… lie here and starve myself to death?” A ragged, terrified sob forced its way out of Angel’s throat. She pulled her knees to her chest, hugging them tightly as she fought down her tears.

NO! I can’t loose control again. I can’t go back to that… that darkness. That despair. I… I… Oh god! Angel’s head shot up towards the door. “Fluttershy! Dash!” She threw herself out of bed and rushed the door. She threw it open, her desperate eyes landing on the two startled pegasi and one dog standing just outside.

“A-Angel!” Fluttershy cried softly. “You’re up! Oh my goodness, are you-”

Angel threw herself at the two pegasi, falling to her knees as she wrapped her arms around them and pulled them close. “I’m sorry!” she cried, sobbing into their shoulders. “I’m so, so sorry you had to see that. That you had to… had to…”

Fluttershy, having stiffened at Angel’s sudden approach, relaxed and returned the embrace, rubbing a wing soothingly over her back. “There there,” she cooed, nuzzling the side of Angel’s head. “It’s okay. Everything’s okay now. Just let it all out.”

Rainbow, far less comfortable with such heavy emotions, patted Angel awkwardly on the back. “Um, yeah. There there. Um, what she said.”

Fluttereshy rolled her eyes, but Angel broke her sobs long enough to chuckle. “W-wow, Dash. You’re really bad at this, huh?”

Rainbow blushed and started trying to squirm out of Ange’s grip. “Yeah well, unf, I just, rgh, never really, agh! Could you let up the grip? Seriously, it’s like being hugged by Pinkie Pie!”

Angel gave another chuckle, releasing Rainbow and using her now-free hand to wipe her eyes. “Sorry, Dash. Overdrive is passive. I’m not even sure I can turn it off.”

Rainbow leapt into the air, quickly hovering up out of easy reach. “Yeah, well, just be careful with it. It was hard enough to convince Scrimp and Scam’s to include ‘hug insurance’ to cover Pinkie Pie; I don’t think they’d be too happy if they had to pay out because of you too.” She shook her head and her expression softened from embarrassment to concern. “Seriously though, what happened? Seeing you like that was…” She shuddered. “I mean, it’s one thing to see you die when I’m expecting it, but to just fly in and see you like that? What the heck?!”

Angel winced and privately thanked whatever force might now be looking out for her that Fluttershy was still offering her motherly embrace. “I… I’m sorry,” she repeated. “On Nightmare Night I… came to a certain realization.”

Rainbow cocked her head to the side while Fluttershy continued to stroke Angel’s back, apparently content to leave the questions to her more assertive friend. “Realization?” Rainbow asked. “About what?”

Angel opened her mouth to answer, but hesitated. Am I… am I really going to tell them. Her mouth closed and she tightened her hug with Fluttershy, being mindful of how much force she was using. Am I really going to burden them with this? There’s nothing they can do to help, so is it really right to make them worry for me? She shook her head. No. I’ll… I’ll talk to Luna later. She’s a goddess, right? If anyone has answers, it’ll be her. “I…” Angel hesitated again, deciding that a certain part of the truth would be better than an outright lie. “I just realized that I’ll never see my family again.” As the words left her mouth, Angel found it suddenly easy to pretend that that was the entirety of the issue. Her throat tightened up and tears began flowing once again. “I-I mean, I already knew before f-from Sora, b-but it just… it really hit me that night, you know? My parents. M-my friends. Everyone I’ve ever kn-known…”

“Oh.” Rainbow looked away, more uncomfortable than ever. “Oh jeez. That’s… yikes.”

Fluttershy sighed and Angel barely heard her mutter of “Honestly, Rainbow.” She leaned back and held Angel at arm’s length, smiling comfortingly as she used a wing to tilt Angel’s face up to meet her eyes. “Angel, I can’t imagine what you’re going through. I mean, it was hard for me when I left home for Ponyville, but it’s not the same since I know I can always go back to Cloudsdale to visit. If anything happened to my parents-” her breath hitched in a small, panicked hiccough at the prospect, “I… I don’t know what I’d do. But I do know who I would lean on.” She smiled up at Rainbow who blushed and looked away again. “That’s what friends are for, after all,” she continued, looking back to Angel. “If you ever need anypony, to talk to, or to vent to, or even just to give you a hug and tell you that things will be alright, we’ll be here for you.”

Angel sniffed a few times, reaching up again to wipe away her tears. “God, I’m pathetic,” she muttered.

“You are no such thing!” Angel blinked, surprised at the force in Fluttershy’s voice and the certainty in her eyes. “You’ve been through something absolutely horrible. Something no-one should have to go through. And with the eight times you’ve died so far, you’ve been through things that the rest of us can only imagine!”

More like eight hundred, but she doesn’t need to know about that.

Unaware of Angel’s thoughts, Fluttershy continued. “You are not pathetic just because everything overwhelmed you all at once. You are not pathetic for succumbing to your despair.” Her eyes softened again. “It just means that you need to learn how to deal with it better. Okay?”

Angel could only nod, staring at Fluttershy in utter amazement. Was latter-seasons Fluttershy even this confident? I don’t think I’ve ever seen this side of her in the show. Then again… Angel smiled and pulled Fluttershy back in for another hug, I guess the show never dealt with suicide. “Thank you, Fluttershy. I… I think I’ll be alright now.”

“Are you sure?”

Angel pulled back and nodded. “I… I’ve still got a lot of crying to do, I reckon, but I won’t do something like that again.” She shuddered at the memory of the hollow, painful, depressive spiral she’d fallen into. “I… I don’t like how it felt.”

Fluttershy frowned. “Are you sure?” she asked again. “There’s no shame in admitting it if you aren’t completely fine. There are a lot of ponies who struggle with… um,” she looked away, her nervousness finally returning to her, “d-d-darker things.”

Angel’s eyes went wide. Does she think… I hadn’t even considered that that might be a thing in Equestria! “Oh, Fluttershy, no!” Angel shook her head furiously. “No no no no no. I’m not depressed. I mean,” she groaned, “yeah, I’m freaking depressed right now, but it’s not, like, clinical depression.”

Fluttershy blushed in a mix of embarrassment and relief. “Oh! Oh, um, that’s good. N-not that there’s anything wrong with ponies who do have d-depression! But, um, it’s good that you, um, don’t.”

Angel giggled and ruffled Fluttershy’s mane. “Now there’s the adorably timid pegasus we all love so much. I was wondering when she’d gone and been replaced by big, bold, and motherly.”

Fluttershy’s face grew even redder as she began imitating Rainbow’s earlier attempts to escape Angel’s grasp, but with a lot less force and an equal amount of success. “I-I-I-I mean, i-it’s just, wh-when I see somep-pony who’s hurt, o-or sad, I just um, that is, eep.”

Angel and Rainbow both giggled as Angel finally had mercy and let the mortified pegasus go. “Thank you, Fluttershy,” she said, putting as much sincerity into her voice as possible. “Really. Thank you for the talk. It was really helpful.” She turned to Spot, who had been sitting aside and watching the affair in silence. “And I’m sorry to you too, Spot. You must have been worried sick about me, huh?”

Spot considered her for a moment before walking around Angel and into the hut. Angel snorted, rolling her eyes. “Or you just missed our bed,” she said, going along with the act. “Whichever.”

“I’m sure he was very worried,” Fluttershy said, catching Angel’s eye. “After all, creatures like him are much better than ponies at picking up on others’ emotions.”

“Yeah,” Angel muttered. “I can’t imagine what…” Her eyes went wide. “Wait. Creatures like him?”

“Oh yes,” Fluttershy said. “Animals are much more in tune with our emotions than most ponies realize. It’s almost like they have a sixth sense for it.” Her eyes darted quickly to Rainbow - who was obviously becoming bored of the conversation now that it had turned to animals - before she shot Angel a quick wink.

Angel blinked a few times in return. Hold on. Does she know that… She quickly shook her head. “R-right. Well, I’d better spend a bit of quality time with him then. I’ll go around and let the others know I’m fine later.”

“Sure, sure,” Rainbow said, waving her off. “But you might want to do it sooner rather than later. Twilight’s been really freaking out ever since Nightmare Night because she heard that Princess Luna chatted with you a bit.”

Angel’s eyes went wide. “Oh yeah! How’d that go?”

Rainbow scoffed and rolled her eyes. “We had a blast! Duh. Seriously, Angel, I think whoever made that show just wanted to pump in unnecessary drama. I mean, Princess Luna got along with everyone just fine. No ‘Royal Canterlot Voice’ or nothing. Heck, a few foals started screaming about Nightmare Moon and running around, and she just launched herself right into it.” She frowned and scratched her head. “Pinkie seemed really worried when they started it up, though.”

“Oh? I wonder why?” Angel asked, studiously avoiding eye-contact. “Anyway, better check up on Spot so I can head out and try to keep Twilight from going any more Twilinannas.”

Rainbow burst out laughing at the name. Even Fluttershy had to hide a giggle behind her hoof. “Twilinannas? Ha! Good one, Angel! Oh, just wait until Twilight hears that!”

*****

Angel moved the blinds slightly to the side, peeking out the front window of her cabin to make sure that the pegasi had departed. "And they're gone," she muttered, turning back to the room at large. "Sorry, Spot. Must've been-"

A loud buzzing was Angel's only warning before the chitten-clad emotivore slammed into Angel, wrapping his forelegs around her neck. Angel reached up in panic, ready to pry his arms off to keep him from strangling her.

She froze as the first sob reached her ears. Spot wasn't strangling her; he was hugging her. His whole body trembled, his wings buzzing furiously to keep his weight off of her. "S-Spot?" Angel asked, dumbfounded.

"I'm sorry." He buried his face into her shoulder, his tears soaking her shirt. "I'm so, so sorry."

"Wh-what?" Angel knelt down, letting Spot's hind legs touch down so his wings could rest. "Sorry about what?"

"I don't know. I can't imagine. But whatever it was that made you feel like… like THAT!!!" He shuddered. “When they smashed open the door, and I tasted that… that…” He gagged. “Ugh! Even thinking about those emotions makes me sick.”

Angel sighed and returned the hug. “Yeah. That was pretty bad, huh?”

“There is a time and place for understatement, Angel. This isn’t it.” Spot heaved a deep breath before leaning back and looking her in the eye, his face full of concern. “Seriously, Angel. What happened? Whatever you talked about with the Moon, it wasn’t something as simple as homesickness.”

Angel looked down and away. No hiding it from him. “I… found out that she’s a goddess. Like, actually divine, object of worship goddess. We got to talking, she asked me about my god, and… and…”

Spot recoiled out of Angel’s arms, shaking his head and shivering. “Hrgh! Blegh! Yeah, I can guess where that led you.” He backed up to the other side of the room and took a deep breath. “Okay. I can manage from here. So, you miss your god?”

Angel shook her head. “Worse. I… I think I’m completely cut off from Him. I tried praying that night, at Luna’s suggestion. It… it wasn’t the same. It felt like no-one was listening.” She wrapped her arms around herself. “That’s never happened before. Everything I know about God says that He would never ignore one of His children. Unless…”

Spot’s eyes widened in understanding. “Unless He couldn’t hear them.” Angel nodded and Spot cringed. “I… okay. Okay, I have no idea what to say to that. Do you think that the Moon…”

“I hope so,” Angel muttered. “If anyone knows what I should do now, it would be an actual goddess, right?” She pulled herself to her feet. “I guess I should ask Twilight to send her a letter.”

“And if she doesn’t have answers?”

Angel shook her head. “Then I’d better find someone who does. Before I think about it too hard again.”

Author's Note

Thus ends the Welcome Arc. Angel has been introduced to this strange yet familiar world, and must face the consequences. What new challenges and revelations must she face? How will she come to grips with her newfound isolation? What exactly is so off about the world beyond Equestria?

These questions and more when the story continues, in the Equestria Arc!

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