Author's Note

Trigger warning: depression and (non-comedic) suicide.

Welcome to Eternity

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"Daddy? Why don't you come to church with Mommy and me?"

"Hm? Why do you ask?"

"Well, my friend Jacob's daddy doesn't go to church either. He says his daddy doesn't believe in God. But you believe in God, don't you Daddy? You read the scriptures at night with me and Mommy. And you pray so pretty. So why don't you come to church?"

"Heh, you're a clever girl, Angel. That's a little complicated, but let's see if Daddy can explain.

"I believe in God. I believe in the Bible and the Book of Mormon and a lot of what your Mommy's prophets say. But I also believe in the Quran and the Talmud and other books that the Mormon church doesn't. And there are lots of questions I have that churches aren't very good at answering."

"...so, does that mean I shouldn't go to church either?"

"No, that's not it. Church is very good at teaching you about God, and I think that Mommy's church does a better job than most. But as you get older, you'll start having more questions. If you find that the Mormons or some other church answer them well enough, then you should join them. They just… don't hold quite enough answers for me."

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*scratch scratch*

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*scratch scratch*

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Something's at the door.

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"Angel? Angel, seriously! Let me in! I can't be seen like this for long! Angel!"

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Spot. Why isn't he coming in. Did I lock the door? I should take care of that.

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"Angel? If you're in there, in going to Fluttershy's. Come get me when you're done with… whatever's keeping you."

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Thirsty.

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"So, have you thought any more about being baptized?"

"Mom, come on."

"It's just that, you're fourteen already. I don't want you to put it off for too long."

"Mom, look. Joseph Smith didn't get baptised when he was young because he needed to know which church was true, right? Well, I think there are some things missing from the Mormon doctrine. Maybe they'll be revealed later. Maybe not. But I need to get those answers before I can make such a commitment."

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*knock knock knock*

"Um, Angel? You there? It's just, nopony's seen you in a couple of days, and Spot's been spending most of his time with Fluttershy."

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"Angel?"

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"Well, if you're there, and if something's wrong, just… come out and talk, okay? You can fly, and you have that loud voice thing. You can come and get me anytime, okay?"

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Dashie? I… I should answer her. Maybe once this headache is gone. I'll just… rest it off…

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"I don't know, Jacob. I mean, everything about it feels right, but it just feels like there's something missing."

"Ange, you aren't waiting for some First Vision repeat, are you?"

"Don't be like that! If she isn't ready, then she isn't ready."

"Thanks, Emm. I just… don't want to make promises to God that I'm not sure whether I'll keep or not."

"Ange, that's what repentance is for."

"That's not what I mean, you goof! And you know it. Anyway, you got your call, right Jacob? I saw on Facebook. Africa, huh?"

"Yeah. Got to tell you, it's gonna be weird, a white red-head roaming around all those blacks. At least I'm not Mike. Did you hear about that one?"

"Japan, right? Almost seven feet tall, and he's serving his mission in Japan! He'll come home with a permanent bump on his head from hitting it on their ceilings!"

"What about you, Ange? If you finally joined and decided to serve a mission, where would you want to go?"

"Honestly, the Fort Worth, Texas mission."

"Pht!"

"Angel, that's literally half an hour away."

"What can I say? I don't see any reason to want to spend more time than I have to away from good ol' Texas. All my friends and family are here; why would I want to leave?"

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tired… so… tired…

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"ANGEL JOHNSON!!!"

A shuddering breath forced its way past Angel's dry, cracked lips. Her eyelids painfully cracked as they opened slightly, her equally dry eyes singing from exposure to air. She tried to turn her head to look at the door, but found that she lacked the strength.

"YOU HAVE LEFT POOR SPOT WITH ME FOR LONG ENOUGH, MISSY! IT'S BEEN FIVE DAYS SINCE HE CAME TO ME! IF YOU DON'T OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW, THEN I WILL SERIOUSLY BEGIN TO QUESTION YOUR ABILITY TO TAKE CARE OF HIM PROPERLY!"

Fluttershy's… angry. Angel tried to take a deep breath to shout a reply, but her throat screamed in protest. A shallow cough ripped its way up her trachea, dragging daggers in its wake which tore her throat to ribbons. She tasted blood, thick and more potent than usual.

"THAT'S IT! RAINBOW DASH! BREAK DOWN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW!"

"Um, Fluttershy," Rainbow's voice carried more than a hint of fear, "maybe we shouldn't-"

"RIGHT! NOW!!!"

Angel heard the door shatter not a second later, but was still unable to turn her head to look. She didn't need to wait long before a furious Fluttershy was hovering over her, eyes narrowed in a Stare and mouth open to continue berating her.

Her wrath morphed quickly into horror.

Angel's face was gaunt and worn, her skin stretched over her skull. Her eyes were sunken into their sockets, deep bags beneath them. Her arms and legs looked thinner than usual, and her breath was rapid and shallow. The blood that marked her lips was thick and dark. She looked half-dead; Fluttershy knew that she was much further along than that.

"What the hay!" Rainbow flew into Angel's vision, her eyes wide as they took in her condition. "I-is she sick? What happened to her?!"

Fluttershy took a deep breath before landing on the bed next to Angel. She poked and prodded her, checking her muscles and responses. "Sh-she's starving," Fluttershy said, trying to maintain a clinical detachment even as tears filled her eyes. "B-but her thirst is worse. I… I don't think she's had anything to eat or drink since Nightmare Night."

"But that was a week ago!"

A week? No, that can't be right. I… I don't think I've slept that many times. That would be… six… seven? A week is seven, right?

"Is she hurt?" Rainbow demanded, daring around through the air over Angel's bed, chewing her hoof anxiously. "Is she paralysed? Is that why she's just been lying here?"

Fluttershy slowly shook her head, her tears flowing more and more freely. "N-n-no injuries. Sh-she just… hasn't moved."

Rainbow's ears folded back. She dropped from the air, landing at the foot of the bed. "You mean… she's been starving herself on purpose?!"

No. Not starving. Not even hungry anymore. Not thirsty. Just… hurts. Hurts so much…

"Should we, I don't know, get her some water?"

Fluttershy sniffed and wiped her eyes clear of tears. She shook her head. "Rainbow, this kind of starvation and dehydration is almost impossible to recover from. I've never even seen any creature lose this much water and still be alive. Th-the best option right now would be to… to k-kill her."

Kill me. No… no, Fluttershy. I'm sorry. Please, don't kill me. I… I have nowhere else to go. Nowhere waiting for me… just oblivion…

Rainbow swallowed nervously but trotted up to Angel's head nevertheless. "K-kill her, huh? Sure! No problem. I mean, I've seen her die a lot, right? K- Doing it myself sh-shouldn't be too hard."

Fluttershy reluctantly shook her head. "Rainbow, you wouldn't even know what to do to make it quick and painless. I've had to… to p-put d-down a few animals." She shuddered and stepped up on the other side of Angel's head. "I… I know how to… to m-make it quick."

Rainbow paled. "Wh-wh-what?! No! Fluttershy, you don't have to-"

But she was too late. Fluttershy's hooves reached out and grabbed either side of Angel's head. She smiled softly, her eyes filled with equal measures of pain and kindness. "It's okay," she whispered, stroking a lock of hair out of Angel's face before reasserting her grip. "It's okay. The pain will be gone soon just-"

*SNAP*

"-relax. It'll be fine…"

No, Angel thought, her vision fading to black as her body went numb and her mind sluggishly shut down. It's not fine. It'll never be fine again. He's gone. I'm gone. He can't reach me here. I'll never be able to return to Him.

Oh God, where art thou?