"Shit, fuck, damn, hell, crap...every swear word that's ever existed!"

It was the end of the school day, and Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy were walking to the former's house.

"Dash, it's not that bad. The paper isn't even out yet."

"Well, it's gonna be out, and then our lives will be ruined!" Rainbow kicked at a loose chunk of cloud.

The two were silent until they reached their fluffy destination.

"Hello, sweetie," Rainbow's mom, a purplish-blue mare with styled pink hair, nuzzled her daughter. Rainbow grumbled at the affection.

Pulling away, she rested a hoof on Fluttershy's shoulder. "This is Fittershrub."

"Fluttershy." The pastel filly gave Rainbow a pointed look.

"Right, right. Fluttershy. So we're gonna go upstairs don't bother us bye!"

And with that, the foals raced up the stairs, leaving Rainbow Dash's mother baffled in the foyer.

Rainbow slammed the bathroom door shut in her parents' room. "Enchiladas, quesadillas, tortillas...!"

"If you're swearing, you're doing it wrong."

"Dah!" Rainbow clasped her forehead with both hooves. "I'm out of profanity."

"Okay, look." Fluttershy got all up in Dash's face. "We can stop this. I don't know how, and I don't think we even can, since we're just dumb little fillies who don't make a difference in the world—"

"Great pep talk."

"—but if we just don't let anything stand in our way, and drink some of that energy shit my grandpa has in his basement, we'll pull through."

Rainbow grimaced. "Should be easy."

"And we can start right now!"

"Um, in a minute." Rainbow caught her reflection in the mirror. "There's...something...on my face?"

"Oh, yeah, that's a fantastic reason to not start right now." Fluttershy stared at the mysterious substance on Rainbow's muzzle. "...Actually, yeah, what is that?"

Rainbow's tongue darted out to taste her nose. "I think it's you."

"...The hell?"

"When I licked your snatch earlier."

Rainbow squirted a behemoth amount of whatever was in front of her onto her hooves and viciously scrubbed at her muzzle.

"Dash," Fluttershy spoke up, "that isn't a face wash..."

"Damn!" Rainbow cursed when getting the crap off her nose went unsuccessfully. "What is it, then?"

"Lube."

"...Oh."

Rainbow drenched her face in cold tap water. "Celestia! Ugh! Blargh!!"

Fluttershy looked unimpressed. "So back to that saving-our-flanks thing..."

--- insert fancy line break thingy here ---

Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy skidded into a certain classroom, breathing hard. Well, Fluttershy was, anyway. She acted like her damn lungs shriveled up.

"Stop right there!" Rainbow yelled, puffing out her chest in an attempt to look bigger. And not giving a shit about Fluttershy, who passed out behind her.

It took the shocked looks of teachers and poker chips and cards strewn over a table for Rainbow to realize she was in the wrong room.

"Um...which way to the newsroom?"

Rainbow Dash repeated her previous "Stop right there!" performance upon entering the newsroom, plus the possession of an unconscious Fluttershy.

The colt who had taken the photo of them froze, along with the other foals holding multiple copies of the school newspaper.

"Guys, I got this."

The small group of newsponies parted to reveal a magenta earth filly with a golden mane and tail and treasure chest cutie mark.

"Name's Hidden Treasure."

Rainbow looked ready to smack this bitch.

"I got the picture of you sucking on your friend's clit."

Rainbow was about to smack this bitch.

"You're kinda hot."

The urge to smack the bitch subsided.

Then Rainbow felt a pair of lips pressed against her own.

This random slut was making out with her.

And she was totally okay with it.

But she couldn't move. The shock and surprise of the kiss had left her frozen in place. The newsponies took this opportunity to leave with the evidence. Unbeknownst to Rainbow, Hidden Treasure flashed her a glance that read "We both know I did that to distract you, you're ugly as shit." Or something like that.

Rainbow Dash remained standing there for the longest time until Fluttershy pummeled her to the floor.

"What the hell happened?! They're not here. You let them get away!"

"Fucking hot skank."

"What?"

"Nothing. Let's get out of here."

Author's Note

I had way too much fun writing this chapter.
By the way, Hidden Treasure isn't an OC. She's from some G3 pony with the same name.