"We're dead. We're dead. We'redeadwe'redeadwe'redead."

"Dash. Relax."

"I can't relax! If our parents see that paper, they're going to eviscerate us!" Despite everything, Rainbow Dash felt somewhat proud of her correct use of that word.

"You're overreacting. They'll get over it in a week or two. Parents always do."

By the time the fillies returned to Rainbow's house, it was dark, and the moon was peeking out over the clouds.

"Honey!" Rainbow's mom crushed her daughter (and Fluttershy, who unfortunately was forced into the situation) in a hug. "Oh, we're so glad you're home."

Rainbow's father motioned to Fluttershy with a deep blue hoof. "And who's your friend?"

"Fluffershine," Rainbow said.

Rainbow's mother was confused. "I thought her name was Fittershrub."

"Fluttershy," Fluttershy corrected, elbowing Rainbow in the side. "My name is Fluttershy."

"Hey, can Fluttershy sleep over?" Rainbow queried, wings buzzing excitedly. She hadn't had a friend sleep over before. A hobo did once, but never a friend.

"Sure," Rainbow's dad looked at Fluttershy, "if it's all right with her parents."

One uneventful phone call later, Fluttershy was sleeping over at Rainbow Dash's house.

"No talking about colts up there, you hear?" Rainbow's father yelled up from downstairs. "You're still too young to date!"

Rainbow rolled her eyes. "Okay, Dad!" She leaned in close to Fluttershy. "So let's talk about the colt that took the photo."

"Right. He's fucking ugly as hell."

"That's not what I meant."

Rainbow paced around her compact bedroom. "Do we have any more chances of getting back that photo and pretending like this never happened?"

"Well, yeah, but they're pretty slim."

"How slim?"

"About 1 in a billion."

"Fuck."

"Dinner!" Rainbow's mother's voice drifted up from the kitchen.

Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash seated themselves at the tiny dining room table. Rainbow's parents brought in heaping dishes of salad, fruit, and mashed potatoes.

"Champagne, my dear?" Rainbow's dad popped the cork off a fresh bottle.

Rainbow's mom pushed her glass closer to him, and he filled it up to the brim with sparkling wine. Rainbow pushed her dinky little plastic cup closer to him, but he said no.

The ponies ate in silence until Rainbow's mother cleared her throat. "So, fillies, how was school today?"

"It sucked." Rainbow stabbed a piece of cantaloupe with her fork. "Next question?"

"We took a quiz," Fluttershy offered as a conversation starter.

"Oh! Did you get it back yet?" Rainbow's dad addressed Fluttershy but looked directly at Rainbow Dash.

"Not yet," the carnation-maned filly replied.

More silence ensued.

"Some dyke made out with me."

Rainbow's dad's fork fell from his grip and clattered on his plate. Fluttershy clamped a hoof over her mouth and muttered a curse word under her breath. Everyone looked at Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow shrugged. "She asked."

Author's Note

Lel