Vengeance, Card Games and Magic

Deep beneath the ocean’s surface… {Just play the first 20 seconds}

Dartz’s summerhouse, Atlantis… I think?

“Hellow evwyboy! I have called you all here fwom yohur expensive vacations fohr a verwy important anowncement!” Dartz called out to his gang of villains.

"Some call him a heart bweaker, others just call him a douchebag; say hellow to Pwince Blooooo-blouwd!"

"It is nice to be here with this exquisite, oceanic facade." Prince Blueblood welcomed himself to the group.

"Howly Dooley!" Valon cried out in his usual Aussie accent. "A talking horse!"

"I don't see what is so evil about a unicorn." Alistair complained.

"I don't see what's so evil about a whiney teenager." Zombie Boy added on.

"Hey!"

"Commoners," Blueblood went on, "I am of Royal Canterlot descent. My wealth shall help finance your quest for world domination through stock investment plans."

"Johnny Steps thinks that you sound like an absolute dick!" Johnny Steps referred to himself in third person.

"And I think that you are some uneducated buffoon that does not know the meaning of dancing, or a taste in socially acceptable attire." The Equestrian destroyed any of the passionate dancer's ego that supposedly existed.

"Oooh! Looks like you got burned bad, Jhoony Steps!"

Raphael was indifferent with their current situation. "New member, great. Now can I leave? I have a Magic tournament to attend."

"Man, what the *eff* is Magic?" Dartz asked, confused as to what in the name of Atlantis Magic was.

"Hace you ever heard of Magic the Gathering?"

"What in the name of *eff* is this piece of *eff*ing bullshit doin' here!"

"It's the new Yu-Gi-Oh, Dartz. In my opinion, Magic is infinitely better in every way possible."

"Is it a childwen's card game?"

"No, it targets adolescents and adults. You know, the avid gamers with no social lives stereotype. Mainly teenagers."

"Like a sexuwal pweadatoh."

"What?"

"Nevahmind. Continue with your lies, liahor!"

"The card game we play is so shit. Just look at what we have: Synchro Summon? What is this? And XYZ cards, I don't want to even want to look at. Long story short, Magic is awesome."

"Now you look here, you are a douche-faced liahor. Case clowsed."

"Huh? What you're saying doesn't make sense. Your argument is clearly invali–"

"You are a douchebag!"

[Does anyone want to know how my life's been? (Nobody cares, here's what you came for.) Whah! Whah! Morgie wants screen time! Somebody fetch me my lawyers! (That does not make any sense... You can't afford any lawyers you lying son of a b-)]

Vengeance, Card Games and Magic:

We are about half as popular as My Little Marik. And it's just like it, ONLY MUCH WORSE! And also Discord.

The Writer, The Producer, And The Brony: Morgie93

The Tolerant One, The guy who tried to throw Morgie93 into a bush and the 'Is this a good idea?' Guy: obsidianreaper

The guy who acts like Tristan IRL and Editor of The Daily Bugle: RustyBucket (or Spider-Man. Take your pick.)

Chapter 3.14159265358973…… (mmmm, π):

Encounters of the Pony Kind

[I have no idea how to do this so I'm going straight into things. (Just like the simpleton you are with next to everything.) Buck you hard! Why do you have to be so rough? (It's always hard for you newbies, if you know what I mean! Ha ha! Virgins.) ...You are such a dirty minded mind, brain.]

≤And now for the cameo of obsidianreaper!≥

≤Of course they love me! I am a god!≥

[Chris, get the frig out of my story!]

≤Cowboys & Aliens was not directed by Michael Bay. It was too good to be his work.≥

[I SAID GTFO, BITCH!!! (I finally get to speak! No one can stop my undisrupted reign of terr–)]

[You too, Saker! (Dammit! So close!)]

<*Bleep*ing *Bleep*hole!>

The next day, under a random tree in the outskirts Ponyville, Equestria...

"Man, what happened last night?", Joey involuntarily spoke as he woke up with cramps in his neck. "All I can remember from last night was pushing Kaiba into that portal thing. It must have been a drug induced hallucination, that or something really cliché. One or the other."

"I'm glad you're okay, you took a pretty nasty fall by your condition. What were you doing falling late last night anyways?", a quite raspy, slightly feminine voice said.

He retaliated before setting his eyes on where the voice came from "Look, I don't know what happened so do you mind not hassling me... Gagh!"

In front of Joey was a rainbow haired, tiny winged horse thing talking to him! It slightly cocked its head to see what the matter was with the blonde man.

"Are you okay?" Dash asked the creature she could hardly see in the early morning light.

It hid behind the tree and started talking out loud in a very strong Manehatten accent. "Oh man, I must be having the weirdest furry dream right now. Why aren't I in a dog suit and where the hell is that douchebag anyway? When I get my hands on him, he better prepare for my Brooklyn Rage and the power of my creepy chin!"

'Time to shut him up.' Rainbow thought to herself, "What's your problem? Are you some crazy pony from the mental institution?"

Joey really started to get worried about his mental health. "I might need to be in one after I'm done here! Wait a minute, what do ya mean, 'crazy pony'? I ain't no pony!"

'This stallion is really starting to scare me.' "What the hay are you talking about? You speak too well to be a diamond dog but you're smaller than a griffin."

"So there are griffins in this place? What's next?" He tried desperately to joke around with the situation. "Dragons and unicorns prancing about the place?"

'This guy is retarded.' Her patience was growing thin with the creature. "Uh, duh! There are unicorns all over Equestria! And you can see dragons passing by every month or so."

Both peering from the same side of the tree, they met face to face. Rainbow Dash now saw what was the dreaded five-lettered word that Lyra was always on about. A human. Time for a Pegasus Rage!

"I can't believe she was right! Great! Another fifty bits down the drain! I could just not tell her that I saw a human. But then another pony might tell her. Unless..." She now glared at Joey with caution, fearing the piece of jagged metal affixed to it's left arm. "Alright, changeling! What is Queen Chrysalis up to now!"

This was all way too much for one Joey Wheeler to handle. "Listen, rainbow-haired, winged horse thing..."

"Pony, I am a pony!" She barked at him for his mistake.

"Jeez, you mind not trying to kill me! I didn't know that horses had that time of the month as well..."

"I. AM NOT. A HORSE! I am a pony! P-O-N-Y. Pony! And for your information, I am not having my perio-."

"Whoa! Too much information, lady!" Joey was slightly disturbed with how open this mare was with her body. It reminded him of Mai Valentine, only much more flat and not human.

'There's no way anything from Equestria can be that stupid. Maybe it is real...' "Alright then. You don't seem like any major threat an–"

Rainbow stopped talking for a moment, processing all the information… “Oh great.”

The blonde man from Broolyn, I mean Japan, I mean… [Gagh!] was further bamboozled by the pegasus “Nyeh? What’s so bad about that?”

“It’s not you,” She tried to explain, “It’s just that every time something crazy happens, my friends and I have to save the world.”

“I know how you feel… That happens to us as well, but it involves playing a children’s card game.” Joey added on.

“Pfft, A card game? We have to use ‘the Magic of Friendship’ to save our world.”

“At least I know that it isn’t our show that involves all the friendship stuff. Guess I owe Téa an apology, and fifty bucks. So tell me er…”

“Rainbow Dash, the fastest thing alive! And you are?”

“Joey Wheeler, Ace Attorney …I think they belong to someone else.”

“I guess so.”

“As I was saying before,” Joey picked up the conversation again. “What major villain are we going to face?”

Rainbow Dash was about to answer the spoiler when the clouds began forming words in the sky. It read: ‘Dash, geit to Twylight’s Hose’

“Derpy…” Dash said, growing angrier by the second, “What does she want now?”

More clouds formed another message: ‘Im ona mishon form Guod. E pormsied me muffins.’

“Man, I didn’t know you had retards here.” Joey commented crudely on the work of one, wall-eyed pegasus.

“Maybe we should go to Twilight’s place.” Dash said to the blonde. “There, the leader of your friends will come up with a plan to avoid all this crazy stuff.”

“Agreed.”

And as the two, newly paired characters walked towards town. The very same wall-eyed pegasus, which wrote the cloud message, appeared from the foliage of the tree.

“I did it!” Ditzy ‘Derpy’ Doo cried out in the un-re-dubbed voice that everyone loved and cared for.

[You have done well, little one. I shall reward you for your efforts.]

A tray of freshly made muffins then fell from the sky into Derpy’s hooves.

“Thank you, mistur voice!” She thanked the mysterious voice.

[Your actions are more important than you think. The fate of the very universe is still at risk. If was not for your cloud message, Joey Wheeler and Rainbow Dash would spend the rest of the chapter being shipped. There are some things that even I cannot stop, like Téa’s annoying voice, or him…]

“Muffins!”

[Why…]

The Great Wilderness [(Or the land that was made up for Trixie to be hiding in.)]…

In the middle of the dirt path road laid the still breathing body of Seto Kaiba. He awoke to a sharp pain in his neck as he was jabbed by something pointy; being prodded over and over again.

"Unh..." He moaned. "My head hurts. If I wasn't so filthy rich, I wouldn't be able to insure myself for that fall. Now where am I?"

"Halt, lowly creature!" A voice suddenly filled the space of the dense jungle. "You are in the presence of the Great and Powerful Trixie!"

Staring blatantly at the pony, Kaiba had other plans that did not involve paying any interest. Money-wise or else. "Look, weird... unicorn thing? I don't have time for novices so kindly step aside whilst I use my GPS to get me out of here."

Trixie, outraged with Kaiba's comment, decided to take action. "Trixie is no foal, overgrown monkey. Watch as Trixie uses her ultimate magic trick on a live subject."

Kaiba smirked at the regard. "Oh wow, magic, like I haven't heard about that before. Yugi must have planned all off this just to piss me off."

"Trixie will NOT be made a mockery of!"

And in her anger, she casted the spell that she had perfected for two years. Her horn glowed with a blue aura and enveloped Kaiba.

Once the spell was complete, Trixie stared at him in pure shock to what happened.

"Y-y-y-ou. H-h-ow could?" She stuttered.

"I am Seto Motherfucking Kaiba! Your magic bullcrap doesn't work!" Kaiba proudly boasted.

"No... It worked alright... Are you... comfortable with... green hair?" She said, raising a hoof towards the top of his head.

Kaiba pulled out a pocket mirror from hammer space and investigated his new appearance.

[Pause for dramatic effect.]

[ (Getting back to the story before the next update of My Little Marik?) Fine, meanie.]

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME?!!" He shouted at the blue unicorn.

She merely straightened her magician's hat and said, "Trixie has discovered a spell that makes its victim's worst nightmare become a reality."

"Then tell me, Trixie." Kaiba commented smugly. "Did you try it out on yourself or are you just born a loser and have a desperate need for attention?"

"Trixie merely seeks payback after she was humiliated by that Twilight Sparkle. We shall see who will get the last laugh then! Soon Trixie's great power shall be witnessed by all!"

The billionaire thought on what the unicorn said, 'Power huh, that seems strong enough to arouse me. But her plan seems familiar... just like mine. We both have something in common; something that relates to a feeling for getting back at someone for doing something bad to us. I can't seem to remember the name of it...'

"Even though you violated my perfectly natural hair, we need to work together. You see, I too have some asshole I want to get back at also. Let's agree that we won't become friends after this, because I can't stand that mushy friendship crap that happens at the end."

Trixie gave herself time to think over this proposal, 'The upright monkey has the same inhibitions as I do. Also, who knows how long it would take me to get out of this jungle alone?'

"Trixie accepts this proposal, Khai-Buh."

"It's pronounced Kaiba." He corrected Trixie.

"Whatever, Trixie would like the way out of here sooner rather than later."

"This day keeps on getting better."

Over to where we last saw Melvin...

"Food... Water... Atmosphere... Five star accommodation... And a jacuzzi... With water jets... And free mints on the bed... Along with some bath robes..."

Melvin, after minutes of walking soon collapsed to his knees, crying from the agonising pain of moving one foot. In the far off distance, he saw a shadowy creature lurking towards him through the terrible sandstorm. When the figure approached Mevin, it was too late to resist.

"Mister?" The little colt asked Melvin, putting on a face that would equal the DAWW factor of all the kitten videos on the Internet tenfold. "What are you doing in our sandbox?"

The sandstorm subsided, revealing the grand city of Canterlot to Melvin. Vice versa, it revealed to the city a grown man, wading in a foal's sandbox.

"I love you!" Melvin cried to the colt. "May I get a hug? You're just so adorable!"

{Now it's time for where you, yes you, decide what happens to the irresistible colt.

If you want to see Melvin kill the colt, comment: 'I am a sadistic monster'

If you want to see Melvin adopt the colt, comment: 'Resistance is futile'

Please leave a comment and the result will be revealed next chapter. Thank you for your time}

One walk to The Royal Castle later...

"Ahh, now that was a good hug. Now... time to sneak past the guards and *checking a written message on his arm* 'Renew car insurance', yes. Wait, other arm. 'Get anniversary present'. I'll stop by Kmart once I have stolen 'The... Elements... of... Harmony'."

Simply walking to the newly installed treasure vault, Melvin's old nemesis stood there waiting for him:

The Bitchy Security Door!

"Hello," The door said, "Please enter the password"

"Oh crap, it's you again. Whatever shall I do?" Melvin sarcastically trembled in fear.

"Nine-Nine-Nine-Nine." He typed and spoke to himself so the audience knows.

"Enter secondary password." The Bitchy Door replied.

"Curses! Now I have to scroll down to the bottom of this chapter and watch the new episode! Damn you, Morgie!"

[Why did you tell him!]

"Many thanks, Tristan of the real world." Melvin continued with his mission. "It's amazing that there was no security apart from this door here."

On the moon...

"This is why you never, EVER ask for a 'vacation' from Celestia, you dolt!"

"Sorry guys."

"Man, I had important things to do this week."

"I needed to get my armour shined this Thursday."

"Where's the toilet?"

"My wife is going to hang me if I don't make it to my daughter's ballet recital!"

"At least there are zero-gravity lesbian moon parties here."

"Shut up! Everypony knows that is a lie, just like the cake!"

"I'm just going to go over there and do some sea salt *ahem* I mean finish off some really important paperwork."

"Could I help?"

"No you can't Jerry!"

Back to Canterlot...

"So that's why no one stopped me from going into your room." Luna thought out loud.

Celestia, not really caring about her sister, only heard the 'going into your room' part. "What?"

"Nothing, but I have the weirdest feeling that we are going to be attacked."

"Lulu, what in Equestria are you talking abo—"

Breaking down the door into the throne room, holding onto the statue of Discord, Melvin interrupted their conversations. "Whassup, whore biscuits?" He called out to the princesses.

"I'm sorry," Celestia began to troll him, "The gay stripper bar is two doors down from here."

"Who doesn't know where it is?" Melvin responded.

"Here in Canterlot, we don't allow minor villains into the city. Otherwise, how else would the general population take a real threat easily?"

"Well prepare for trouble!" Melvin shouted, dropping the statue on the carpet. From the broken remains of Discord's stony prison, it unleashed the deity of chaos at last.

"And make it double!" He added on to intimidate the princesses.

"Hey!" Luna protested. "I wanted it to be doubled first!"

"Luna," The white alicorn said to her sister, "Shut. Up. What is it you want, Discord? And who is your servant?"

"Oh, where are my manners?" The draconequus went on. "This is my partner in crime and my boyfriend, Melvin. Honey? Could you give us a wave?" Melvin raised a hand to greet the princesses. "Now," He continued to talk to Celestia. "We will be imprisoning you in the Shadow Realm whist we proceed to take over Equestria. Are you down with this shin-dig happening or are you going to be all square about it?"

Celestia smirked at the foolish demands. "Do you seriously think that I am going to do what you tell me to?"

Melvin took hold of the darker alicorn and placed a banana to her head. "If you don't obey our commands, we will be forced to kill your sister."

The sun alicorn shrugged her shoulders. "Meh, do what you want. I don't care about Luna that much."

"But Celly!" Luna whined.

Discord then cunningly thought of another way to force Celestia to step down. "Put us in charge or we will kill the production team." He threatened her, showing no mercy in his different shaped eyes.

To her, this nothing but a shallow threat."Ha!" Celestia laughed, "You shall never find them!"

"Is that so?" The deity of chaos questioned her. "You see, we have Facebook stalked them and know all of their secrets! Chris has a 'twin' brother! Saker hangs out in his family's basement! There was nothing on the writer, (damn sociopaths!) but we will find them."

"There is no way one can find all three of them at once."

"Fine, we shall send you to the darkest part of the Shadow Realm Estate and drop off your precious production team with you."

"What is this ancient evil?" Luna pondered in fear of a repeat moon banishment-like scenario.

"You will see..." Melvin spoke before the alicorn sank deeper into the black pit, engulfing her whole.

"I want to ride on the hole Celly!" Luna cried out as she jumped in after her sister.

Once they had both gone through, Discord began discussing his new plan for the kidnapping of the production crew.

"Here is the deal.You take the unimportant members and leave me with the boy." Discord said in his most evil voice. "There is something I want him to experience before being taken away."

"Awww!" Melvin whined. "How come I have to deal with the retards?"

"Because afterwards, we shall make sweet hatred over and over again."

Without any delay, both villains disappeared in a white flash of light, removing themselves from this dimension into another. A lone tumbleweed rolls across the throne room as the wind slowly picks up.

In the Shadow Realms...

As Celestia began to stand up once more, the sudden force Luna put on her back forced her down again.

"Do you mind getting off me?" She asked with a hint of anger in her voice.

"Sorry." Luna quickly apologised and moved off the white alicorn to avoid further scalding. As Celestia regained her hoofing, Luna went into panic mode. "It's Space Camp all over again!" She wailed. "Ten days, you said! It will be fun, you said!"

They stood in the middle of what was considered a reasonable accommodation: newly painted walls and some modern and quite exotic décor. Along with brand new carpet, a wide TV set and plenty of furniture, Celestia could not see how this was worse than the moon.

"Luna, you're overreacting." Celestia comforted her sister. "So I left you on the moon for a while; I get that. What is so bad about this place?"

Over on the PA system, a deep, digitally altered voice of evil spoke. "Welcome contestants," It said. "This, is Big Brother."

"I TOLD YOU THIS WOULD HAPPEN!" Luna shouted in her Royal Canterlot voice.

"Luna please, there are more terrible ways to be tortured..."

"Oh yeah? Then tell me, big sister: What could be worse than this?"

Kaiba’s pad…

“And that’s why friendship is so important to the world!” Téa finished her talk on friendship.

“My ears…" Mokuba whined as he picked his blood-soaked ears free of any scabs.

Looking over at the inactive Dimensional Gateway System™, Téa's naïve and curious nature as the fanfic writer she is (albeit she only writes ship-fics) asked the question, "Grandpa, what's that thing?" She said pointing towards the metal arc.

"Téa, I'm right here!" Mokuba complained that no one was paying attention to him.

"Silence you harlot! Now help me inside this cardboard box so I can utilise the power of imagination!"

Just then, slumped in the out of fashion bean bag, Grandpa woke up. "Where am I?"

Twilight's Library...

"Spike, I'm just quickly ducking out for a few groceries. I won't be long." Twilight called out to her assistant as she departed.

"Whatever you say boss." Spike replied with very little enthusiasm. 'Man,' Spike thought, 'All this time I could spend on trying to hit on Rarity is just being wasted on doing nothing. But nothing interesting has happened around here for ages! I wish there was something new around.'

Out of nowhere, Yugi fell on the wooden surface of the library after what seemed like three weeks of falling. "I swear to god, Joey's going to owe me big time once I find him. Now where am I..."

"Um... hi!" Spike walked up to Yugi and offered a claw shake to him. "I'm Sp–"

"Oh my god it's a dragon and it's going to eat me!" Yugi freaked out, "I can't die! I'm the main character! Where's Tristan when we need him for a sacrifice?"

In the heat of the moment, Spike moved closer to Yugi. "Don't be afraid. I'm not going to hurt you little fella."

"And you're calling me small. I mean, look at you. You're a freaking midget dragon!"

"Hey! I'm just a baby dragon. And besides, I can breathe fire." Spike boasted, giving a demonstration.

Not being used to the idea of fire breathing dragons, Yugi did the most logical thing to do: Panic. "Gagh! Get away from me!"

"But I'm not gonna hu–"

"You just want to eat me!"

"I– Wait, what?"

And in that moment of madness, Yugi and Spike engaged in a usual comedic chase scene. As Yugi ran, he knocked over piles of books that had not been placed back. Unfortunately, he landed face first into a copy of 'Fifty Shades of Grey'.

"MY EYES!!! THEY BURN!!!" He cried in pain over the terrible, published fan fiction.

A swallow's flight away... That's an un-laden swallow's flight away! It's at least two laden swallow flights away; four really if they had a coconut on a line between them. I mean, if the birds were walking– [(GET ON WITH IT!)] Okay, it was a crippled swallow's flight away...

"Are we there yet?" Joey complained as he and Dash walked through the streets of Ponyville.

"Quit whining!" Rainbow Dash replied. "Don't you realise if anyone finds out you're here, they are going to–"

"Hi Dash!" Twilight chimed into their conversation. "Who's your friend here?"

"Uh..."

"I'm a disfigured friend of Rainbow Dash's." Joey lied quickly. "After a flight accident, it left me heavily scarred for the rest of my life. The doctor said I was lucky to survive the fall."

"Oh my," Twilight gasped, "You must come over to my place so I can try a healing spell on you!"

"That would be great!" Dash added on. "But can you hurry it up? We don't want to scare every pony else."

"I forgot our town is full of xenophobic conservatives. Right this wa–"

A loud voice suddenly came out of Twilight's house. "Oh god, IT BURNS!"

This was soon followed by another slightly higher voice. "It must have been lying around after all the mess that was made."

"It's burning my corneas out even as we speak!"

"I said I was sorry!"

"You're too late for that!"

"I wonder what's going on inside the library?" Twilight asked herself out of curiosity.

"What are we waiting for? Let's go!" Rainbow Dash cried out.

"Oh no!" Joey complained, "The chapter is ending soon!"

"What are you on abo–"

[And that's a rap!

Sorry if this seems rushed but I was busy deciding my future with subject choices for the Australian equivalent of STATs. Plus, my science teacher set off a smoke alarm which resulted in procrastination for the rest of first period and a visit from the fire department. No damage was done... Except the ceiling got slightly burnt. Chemistry is fun! (The story, num nuts!) Oh yes, *ahem*...

NEW EPISODE!!!!!!!!

Now leave me be while I think of more original material.

TTFN, Morgie

PS: Otaku1995exe