Friggen' Mondays

Your ears perk up hearing a bird outside chirping as you are doing your thing, which is writing your novel. You take the spare book and throw it out the window, hitting the bird and making him fall down.

"Mondays..." You murmured in slight horror. A knock comes at the door, grabbing your attention. You walk over to the door and open it to see the orange pony you know and love. Applejack is tapping her hoof giving you an impression of a ticked off pony. "It's Monday," you said. She nods.

"Yeah, it's Monday, get to work," she said.

"It's Monday," you said again, looking into the distance. "Mondays bad," you said. Applejack rolls her eyes and grabs your arm. With great reluctance comes great dedication, you always said. You were standing by that statement as Applejack is dragging you down the dirt road.

"You are gonna have to help us today Anon, no bull crap," AJ said.

"It's Monday! Mondays are bad and full of unrelenting terror and abominationism!!!" You yell in terror as Applejack just stared at you, dead panned.

"I'm sure it's just some superstition you have," she said in response.

"Yeah, it's totally like the superstition of you thinking princess Cadance wasn't Chrysalis, and prey tell, how did that turn out?" You said back. Applejack shook her head.

"How're Mondays bad?" She asked. You started shaking. You knew something's gonna happen.

"Duck!" You yelled, diving into the dirt. Applejack doesn't follow, and gets smacked in the head with a shovel.

"What in Tarnation's?" She asked, getting up only to be smacked with another shovel.

"Stay down, they won't see you!" You whisper. Applejack obeys and stays down as shovels fly above your heads. You waited a minute before the shovels stopped.

"Where did those shovels come from?" Applejack asked. You shrug.

"Now, off to Sugarcube Corner!" You yell. You grab Applejack by the rump and ran towards Sugarcube with all your might.

"Let go of my butt!" Applejack said.

"No! They'll attack! This time with sinks!" You yelled. Applejack sighs. Surely her cousin shall sort this out to you.

Applejack just stares with no expression as Pinkie barricades the door and you are in a clad armor of pots and pans. "Why did I think Pinkie will sort this out again?" Applejack wondered out loud.

"Sort this out!? I've tried everything with those creeps! They don't care what I give them, they still throw stuff at Nonny!" Pinkie exclaims. You nod in agreement with the pink horse.

"Mondays bad, pastries good and safe!" You exclaim as well.

"Ugh, it's just some bunch of hoolagans messing with you, don't you see that?" Applejack asks you. You shake your head.

"Alright then, you go out there and sort it out! I bet they won't listen!" You reply. Applejack sighs.

"Fine, don't leave a mare's work to a stallion," she mumbled to herself. When she walked outside, the first thing she did was yell," Come out here you cowards! I oughta teach a lesson to you for messing with my favorite employee!"

"I'm the only employee you have!" You yelled in protest. Applejack groans.

"He is also the worst employee!" She continued.

"Again, your only employee!" You yelled.

"Will you shut up please?" Applejack asks a little frustrated. You nodded. "Anyway, please stop messing with him on Mondays please, it's gonna cost me valuable time!" Applejack continued.

"What about my life!?" You ask in shock.

"Eh," AJ responds. A hammer flies and smashes against Applejack. She falls to the floor dizzy and stunned.

"I told you they won't listen!" You said. Applejack holds up her hoof in your direction.

"Two words Anon, screw you," Applejack says in the dirt. She gets up dizzily andr walks inside.

"Alright, now we just have to stay until it's about two o'clock!" You said.

Two o'clock rolls around and you walked outside, shaking like a leaf. Applejack sighs again, beside you. "Are we done yet?" She asked. You hold up a hand.

"Wait, I hear something," you said quietly. Applejack listens closely. You and her started hearing chicken dance music.

"Okay, music, so what?" Applejack asks again. You sighed and stepped back. Applejack doesn't follow your lead, and gets ran over by a scooter with an orange filly holding a radio.

"Sorry Applejack!" Scootaloo said, scooting off. Applejack gets up with aching pains all over her body. Then, Ms Cake runs her over with a giant cake that was freshly baked. Applejack got up again. This time she took a step back. Instead of getting ran over, she got hit with two flower pots. As she falls to the floor, you look up and wave at Derpy as she was just passing by with flowers. Applejack gets up yet again and groans in pain.

"Applejack, now we must go back to my house where it is safe," you said, grabbing Applejack in your arms. As Applejack and you were running back to your house, you were terrified about your own house. You set your boss down and went to get an ice pack. You came back to see Applejack fighting a raccoon over her hat.

"Anon, you have filthy Varmit in your house!" She yells.

"Hey! Don't insult George like that! He's sensitive!" You yell back.

"Sensitive?! The only thing this varmit could be sensitive about is a shiny object!" She replies. You break up the fight, giving Applejack her hat back. George hissed at her and walked away.

"Usually George comes out on Tuesdays, but I guess he was stretching his legs," you said. You gave your boss an ice pack and sat beside her.

"It's a good thing it's not five o'clock yet," you said. Applejack stares at you wide eyed.

"It gets worse!?" She asks. You nodded.

"The hooligans come back with pipes this time," you said.

"You know, I just remembered, you always have had Mondays off!" Applejack quickly said with nervousness. "I'll just leave you to your day off and go on my own kind of day with the um, apples!" Applejack said, smiling like a liar. You sighed and nodded. Applejack left as quick as lightning and sped back to Sweet Apple Acres. As soon as you confirmed she's gone you laughed.

"I think I made the best prank in history!" You said. Pinkie and derpy hop out the cabinet in your bathroom.

"She gave up already? Wow, I didn't know my cousin even did that!" Pinkie said. You chuckled.

"You just have to push the right buttons. Thanks for playing along Pinkie, and thanks for the flowers derpy! They smelled nice by the way," you said. Derpy smiles warmly and Pinkie gives you a hug. Derpy joins in the group hug and we all let go. "Now, in all honesty, I do hate Mondays and I need to sleep tonight," you said. Pinkie and Derpy nod and leave you be. You lie in bed, smiling like the devil himself. You just got so many days off by one prank. You high fived yourself and went to sleep, knowing you won't have to work on a Monday ever again.