Delaying the Inevitable

Chapter 9

Months have passed with me being able to keep the secret to myself. It did feel wrong and weird to do so, especially to Comet Shade, but it was actually not that hard to keep it away at first. Where I did have problems with was explaining where Navorse went to because he wasn’t spotted in Canterlot anymore, so I made up another lie that he said it would be better to cancel the journey to the Everfree Forest and that he left towards eastern Equestria again. It didn’t make much sense, most certainly not for Bourgon as he knew Navorse better than I did.

During the lessons, I was never able to stop thinking that everything we are learning, is part of that big lie. And to make it even worse, professor Veral knows about it being fake as well. The lessons were the only moments you could see me behave very strange indeed. I never said anything even though I used to do so in the past, neither did I make a whole lot of fun with Shade during the lessons.

‘Is everything alright?’ Comet Shade told me and he woke me up from my trance. I had been blindly staring in front of me, not following the lessons.

‘You haven’t written down anything during the whole lessons?’ He said. The only thing I did was looking at him, at my paper and then back at him.

‘And this has been going on for quite some weeks hasn’t it?’ He continued: ‘you never want to hang out at my home anymore as you said you prefer to study on your own. There is nothing wrong with that, but it just feels weird. Why have you never told me that before?’

I kept on being quiet, but then I whispered something barely hearable: ‘my study methods just changed, that’s all.’

Naturally, he responded with: ‘say that again?’

But professor Veral noticed this and tried to interfere our conversation: ‘Comet Shade, please let Omega follow the lessons in peace,’ he simply said that as he was aware of me knowing the truth and tried to make sure Shade wouldn’t start asking too many questions.

Comet Shade listened to Veral and stopped talking to me, he did give me a weird look.

When the lessons ended, I didn’t follow Comet Shade back to his home anymore as I used to do months ago. I stopped doing it because I was afraid I would make a slip of the tongue.

Professor Verall stopped me and asked a question: ‘he isn’t suspecting anything, does he?’

‘No,’ I said honestly.

‘Are you sure about that? Even the littlest information might make him wonder.’

‘No, I am very certain he doesn’t know anything about it.’

Veral came a bit closer to me and whispered: ‘I know it’s tough to live on like this, but I can assure you that letting other ponies know about the truth will only make it worse.’

‘Of course,’ I responded and tried to walk away.

‘No no, this is serious business Omega, and I believe you can trust me, can’t you?’

I nodded my head and walked out of the room with my head bowed down and my tail dragging on the floor. I didn’t like living this way at all, but it was probably my own fault: I should have never gone to the Everfree to begin with.

With nothing to do, I went to my own house and started cooking some oats and ate them, they didn’t taste me well. After that, I just climbed into my bed and looked at the ceiling. My stomach felt sick and I was shivering. I felt lonely, so lonely.

And all of this continued to happen day after day, and it only got worse.

One month passed and it was morning. I wasn’t awaiting Comet Shade no longer which he didn’t really like at all, yet he didn’t want our friendship to stop. He continued to ask me what was going on almost every day and that made me feel weak again, only during Veral’s lessons, he shut up completely as every time he tried to start a chat with me, Veral would interrupt us. So if he couldn’t talk with me, Comet Shade would copy over his notes and give it to me to help me as I wasn’t writing anything down anymore. I kept them, but never looked at them.

But today, when the lessons ended and I was walking my way back home, Comet Shade shouted behind me: ‘Omega, can I talk to you for a moment please?’

I turned myself around to watch him getting closer to me, but I walked away from him.

‘Come on Omega, at least give me a chance then.’

I walked faster and faster, turned myself around to him and said: ‘please, don’t take this too personally.’

I turned my head around just in time to see there was a street lantern in front of me and to evade it. I walked to my home, but Comet Shade was running after me. I tried to open the door to my house as quickly as possible, however, Shade was already standing behind me.

‘I want to know what in the hay is going with you, Omega.’

I tried to control myself again and then responded: ‘It’s… it’s going to be all fine, Shade. I just need my personal space for now.’

Comet Shade looked at me and took a few steps away: ‘I’m really starting to worry about you, Omega. Don’t forget that I’m your friend. If you need me, I’ll be there. Just ask me.’

Chills flew through my body and I answered: ‘I know that, and I will.’

But I wasn’t sure if I would really do so, I needed more time to think about all of this. Comet Shade is a friend of mine, but I could not risk to break my promise with Princess Celestia.

I slammed the door behind me when I got inside and felt very dizzy, so I got in my bed. I didn’t care about eating anything as I was way too exhausted for that and my thoughts were flowing through my mind.

It is impossible for me to remain like this. Would it be really that bad if I would just say the truth against Shade. And only against him? Yes, yes it will be. I do trust him, but the only thing I would do is infecting him with the same problem I have right now and that is keeping your mouth shut about it.

But maybe if I would just tell him, I wouldn’t feel so alone as I am right now. But no, I couldn’t, I shouldn’t. But I should.

I closed my eyes and tried to put the thought away from my mind, but it didn’t help. I was biting on my bed sheet in the hope it would do something against it.

Okay, I cannot live like this any longer. Can it really be that bad to just tell him? No, it can’t be.

It was already late in the evening, but Comet Shade must still be available. I ran to his house, trying to evade guards. And when I got there, I knocked on his door. It took a while before he opened and his face turned from a sleepy one to a surprised one.

‘Omega, what is it?’ He said almost shouting.

‘Keep it down a bit,’ I said while entering, ‘this is something I would prefer nopony else would hear.’

Shade looked all the more surprised to me: ‘I will listen.’

I sat down on the couch and took a deep breath: ‘I know this will sound strange to you as much as it did to me, but you have to trust me, this is the truth.’

He came to sit next to me.

‘I did in fact go into the Everfree Forest with Navorse. Together, we found a ruined castle deep in the woods and it was once home to Princess Celestia and her sister.’

‘Her sister?’ Shade asked.

I nodded: ‘Princess Luna, the controller of the Moon, now known as the Mare in the Moon.’

I told the whole story from everything I had found there in that castle. Comet Shade seemed like not taking it all too serious, but his mind changed during my monologue with him.

‘So, we live under some kind of propaganda then, huh?’ He asked.

‘I unfortunately think so, yes. But I was prohibited by Celestia herself to talk about my finds to anypony else. However, I couldn’t hold it any longer and you are the only pony I can trust in keeping it a secret.’

But Comet Shade didn’t seem to listen to me that well, he had a frown on his face.

‘How could she?’

‘She was afraid her subjects would lose faith in her,’ I answered.

Shade looked at me: ‘so what? Isn’t telling the truth more important?’

‘Well, there is an explainable reason for…,’ Shade interrupted me.

‘She tries to keep her reputation by keeping us fooled? That is not a world I would like to live in.’

I tried to say something about it, but he was too fast: ‘and that is why all those ponies threatened you? Why professor Veral always tries to interrupt our conversations?’

‘Well,’ I said.

‘But I want to hear an answer!’

‘Yes, professor Veral knows about it as well.’

Comet Shade didn’t say anything anymore. He looked upset.

‘But please don’t tell this further to anypony, not even Veral. Please.’

He looked at me: ‘we will see, but I hope you do realize that there has to be something done against this?’

‘Well, I’m not sure about this,’ I said almost whispering.

‘Don’t worry, I understand in what kind of situation you are in at. But do not fear, everything will get alright at the end.’

But it just depends on what kind of perspective you see things as ‘alright’, and it seems he has a complete different perspective about it than I have.