-Honest Suspicion-

"So who talks first? I talk first?" Rein's eyes locked onto the snarky waiter that Celestia had appointed to taking her personal orders. The other ponies in the room looked slightly annoyed or minorly amused. The long table, fixed with shining silverware and well woven cloth, held Harmony's Elements as well as the royal family and cherry picked members of Canterlot's high society.

"Monsieur, may I recommend the blue Eiffel, it is very exquisite. It is light, just perfect for lunch." The waiter growled.

"I." Rein hummed. "Will have a quesadilla. Double grilled."

"It will be my pleasure, sir."

"Oh, the pleasure will be mine." Rein chuckled and met Cadance's amused stare. She rolled her eyes and continued to look at the menu as the waiter made his way around.

"Must you play with everyone?" Luna chided.

"Yes." Rein answered. He sighed before spacing out, eyes fixed on a porcelain gravy bowl. His eyes unfocused and his vision hazed over, with two blinks, time lurched forward, the food had arrived and the thirty minutes it took to make it passed unbeknownst to him, with only an earsplitting whine ringing in his mind. The other guests were in uproarious conversation while Celestia sat quietly, observing his long, sullen silence.

The dull whine faded, allowing Rein to breathe deep and regain his senses.

"What do you think, Gallant?" A unicorn named fancy pants asked in a pompous accent.

"About?"

"Oh-" Fancy Pants held his hoof to his chest proudly. "-about the new shops square in Canterlot's Rein district? I commissioned them and their grand opening is in a week? Surely you've seen the advertisements."

"A casino would look better. Shopping centers are just useless collections of unneeded shops that can't float on their own." Rein grumbled before a light chill fell over the room. He reached over and grabbed the gravy bowl he had stared at for much of the night and leaned back in his chair in view of all before him, pouring the sauce onto his crotch, sighing as if he felt a release.

"Rein!" Luna scolded.

"Oh no, I've made a mess." Rein mumbled as the gravy dish clattered to the table. He shifted to his hooves before sauntering out, letting brown globs fall to the floor as he walked. He glanced to Fancy Pants and chuckled. "Enjoy your soup."

"I will." Fancy pants lifted his spoon with magic, but his blue tint grew unstable. The spoon grew red hot in his grasp and flecks of molten metal flicked off which began to burn him and the table cloth, causing sudden panicked screaming until golden magic snapped the spoon and small embers from existence.

"Wha-" Fancy Pants gasped out as he looked around.

"What was that?" Twilight asked.

"Black magic." Luna sighed, looking to Celestia who was once again placating her with a hoof.

"Black magic? Who?" Twilight looked to the magic casters of the room and then to her mentor.

"Gallant most likely." Celestia said. She waved a hoof and the food disappeared from the room, as did all tableware and anything meant to make contact with the skin.

"How, he doesn't have a horn?" Applejack asked.

"Tia, I think it's time for you to tell our friends a little about your pet."

Celesia rose to her hooves and dismissed her guests, all but Twilight, Applejack, Rainbow, and Cadance. As the room emptied of frightened guests, Celestia teleported everyone to her private study.

As they laid down, Twilight looked to Celestia. "Princess, can Gallant really cast magic without a horn?"

Celestia deflated at the question. Twilight's sharp mind already worked the answer out, it was clear from her expression that she now only needed confirmation and how it was done.

"Yes." Celestia said.

"How?" Twilight asked. "That should be impossible."

"Oh, it's not." Celestia let out a half-hearted chuckle. "But any knowledge suggesting its use was removed from the public mind hundreds of years ago."

"Why? For many Unicorns it could solve issues like birth defects or eliminate the use of magical prosthetics altogether." Twilight paused and sputtered at her inquisitive thoughts. "If he can use magic without his horn, then that means Earthponies and Pegasi can use magic without horns as well. This is big."

"Dark magic." Celestia said curtly and tried to continue, but Luna continued after becoming annoyed.

"The kind of magic that Rein wields is dark by nature; unstable and dangerous. The magic that Unicorns practice is learned and requires study and needs intricate spells, his magic only needs knowledge and will. Even the sources from which they draw are different."

"A different source?" Rainbow asked. "Like a life force instead of the magical lay lines?"

"Kind of." Celestia said. "The magical source he draws from is difficult to describe. It's kind of like the way Discord's magic works in comparison to the rest of the pony races."

"You rang, Princess?" Discord appeared.

"Hello, Discord." Celestia smiled. "I take it you've been eavesdropping?"

Discord feigned insult but shrugged halfway into the gasp. "Guilty. I knew you would call me when getting to the point."

Twilight looked between her mentor and former enemy. "So rein's magic is like Discords?"

"No, Sparkly." Discord turned into a floating globe with a goatee and highlighted the laylines of the planet in blue. "I have to get back to watching our little mutant, so I will try and make this short."

Celestia glared at Luna, catching Discord's reference to spying on Rein.

"Magic moves through the planet in two sets of lay lines." Discord highlighted the red lines that offset the blue lines. "If it makes it easier, think of your magic as a negative charge and the one that Rein practices is a positive charge."

"Wouldn't it be the other way 'round?" Applejack asked. "If his is dark magic then it should be negative?"

"In a fantasy novel you would be right, however his magic is almost sentient, that's why it's dangerous. Your magic requires thought, spells, and emotions to cast." Discord changed into his mismatched self and held out his hands and summoned two liquid metal balls; one was still as if solid while the other moved, undulating as the seconds ticked on. "With equal application, your magic will produce the same thing every time, his magic can fluctuate with his mood. Where your emotion affects your magic negatively, his amplifies it dramatically. If he is angry, a simple heating of an iron spoon may become highly magnetized, or it could break down on a molecular level and cause it to turn into other metals."

"Or melt, like at dinner?"

"Yes." Discord said. "Every now and again throughout history, civilizations discover and then outlaw this type of magic because of its instability. In the end, the user can grow unstable themselves and become a problem. This era has the downside of having little to no Spirits to keep cases like this in check, so should he become a real problem, then I would have to be the one to trap him."

"Spirits?"

"Discord..." Celestia scolded.

"Well, look at that time, gotta go and watch over Rein's conversation with Flurry Heart."

"What!" The room erupted with Discord's poof of smoke disappearing from sight.

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"So you're why my mom dragged me to Canterlot?"

"Yep." Gallent mumbled into his coffee, looking at the filly that raised a brow at him. "Thanks for the coffee, but uh. Why are you in my room?"

"Welcome." She said curtly, glaring a hole into his soul without answering his question. "I see two sets of eyes inside you. You're sick, aren't you?"

Rein looked into his coffee to see swirling mixtures of dark coffee and tan cream. "More or less."

"Why don't you get better?"

Rein paused mid sip and redirected his eyes downward to the blunt princess. Her honest question didn't startle him, only put off by the matter of fact statement.

"Well?"

"Are all Princesses still this nosy?" Rein asked and threw up a hoof. "Don't answer that... just go."

After a few minutes, the side of his head heated up, once again dragging his attention away from his coffee. The two eyes of Flurry Heart bore up at him from the armrest of the couch, waiting for attention.

"I peed the bed until I was three."

"What the fuck?" Rein choked on his coffee. "Go away and keep those secrets to yourself."

"Why?"

"Because. I don't want to know your dirty secrets." Rein stepped up from the couch to go to his kitchen and walked at a pace considerably faster than Flurry's.

"Why would me wetting the bed be a dirty secret? It's just urine."

"Ask your mother, she knows all about dirty laundry." Rein mumbled and heard the small patter of hooves stop, he slowed himself and looked over his shoulder to the filly who looked at him blankly, trying to understand what he just said.

"Is dirty laundry why daddy doesn't live with us anymore?"

'Oh come on, seriously?' Rein thought to himself, annoyed that a princess under the hunt of an assassin was being allowed to roam free. "Your parents marital situation is their issue, I'm here for a different reason."

A realization sank in as Rein examined Flurry Heart.

"Flurry, how long have you been walking around the castle by yourself?"

"Since we got here." Flurry said and looked around the room. "Mom told me not to, but I got curious."

Rein chewed his lip and then gestured forward of him. "And the guards? How do they act around you?"

"Indifferently."

"Big word for a prom night oops baby."

"A what?" Flurry turned her head.

"Nothing, we're finding your mother. Now." Rein turned and dropped his cup of coffee before Flurry, only for it to be captured in her magic. "Hold my coffee."

"Okay." Flurry Heart trotted next to the stallion as his stride shorten so she wouldn't tire. "Can I talk to you while we look for her?"

Rein grumbled in response as his angry grew, allowing his body to drag near his quarry. He felt four princesses and a herd of ponies moving around the castle looking for them, the more magically tuned mares shivered as he neared. Having been in earshot, Rein heard one talk about a chill in the air as he and Flurry rounded the corner.

"Of course there's a chill, you're here." Rarity grumbled at seeing Rein. Her blue scarf still on, confirming the rest of the group traveled to Canterlot.

Rein didn't acknowledge Rarity as he passed her and a few other well spaced out ponies.

"Hey, I'm talking to you!" Rarity called.

"You're of no consequence." Rein glared back, stopping her oncoming shower of insults at shortened gasp. He turned his head and met the gaze of everyone until he leveled it at Cadance. "You."

"Y-Yes?" Cadance said, shying away like a foal caught drawing on the walls in crayon. She looked passed Rein to see her daughter waving at her just behind a cup of coffee.

"Take this." Rein said, levitating Flurry up and over his head and down into Cadance's waiting arms. "You shouldn't let such an innocent foal run around at this age without proper adult supervision."

Luna scoffed. "There is nothing in this castle that could get passed our guards, she is completely safe."

"I slipped passed your guards." Rein said, turning his gaze to Celestia. "If I was the killer, my job would already be done."

"You are a killer?" Luna scoffed.

"I said the, not a." Rein continued to look at Celestia as he expression didn't change. He paused and let a silent conversation pass between them. "Though, from what I gather, Flurry was never in danger."

"Very astute."

"What's going on?" Twilight asked. "Who's in danger?"

"No one." Rein squinted at Celestia one hard second and turned away.

As he disappeared around another corner, the mares present took a deep breath. They looked to one another and each unwilling to start, then left it up to Celestia.

"I hate it when he does that."

"The whole quiet brooding thing?" Applejack asked.

"Yes, he's already figured me out." Celestia said. "Not even an hour after being on the case and he solved it. Though, not the way I intended for him to solve it. That means I have to fire the actors I set up for later." A loud crash of glass was heard, causing Celestia to hold up a hoof to stop the ones around her from rushing to the sound. "And now he is mad at me."

"So he smashes your windows?" Fluttershy said, slightly shocked. "That's not very nice."

"No. Watch." Celestia pointed down the hall to rushing guards and a wonderbolt responding to the window. "He's testing the guard's response times."

The sound of frustrated grumbling drew the group's attention to Twilight. "He did that to my house for three nights in a row."

Applejack huffed. "Well, I'm gonna go talk to him."

Celestia shook her head. "I'm afraid he won't talk to you."

"Well, ya never know until ya try." She patted her hat down onto her head and stomped off around the corner. She paused at she looked down the hall and glanced back with uncertainty before finding courage and continuing toward Rein.

"Princess?" Twilight called. "Why does Rein avoid Applejack? The real reason."

"If I had the real answer, I would tell you." Celestia smiled down at Twilight. "I believe it hurts him to see her. Applejack is born with her family's matriarchal traits, the same traits her great grandmother had. As a result she looks, sounds, and acts the same. Even on a magical level, she feels the same."

"So, he was in love with her?" Rarity asked. "Applejack's great grandmother, I mean."

"Yes, in ever way someone can be in love." Celestia said. "Rein only escaped All-Hope once, on the day she died. After that his magic began to lash out. We had to seclude him in his own cell and place intricate wards around it so he wouldn't destroy the minds of those around him. One guard tried to discipline him, but Gallant forced his mind into ten individual personalities. The guard had to be retired and sedated from the violent outbursts."

"That's terrible." Rarity guffawed. "That's not true, is it?"

"Sadly it is. It was much worse, but I won't sour everyone's stomach with the details."

"Do you think we should go and help Applejack?" Fluttershy asked.

Celestia paused and then aggressively speed-walked around the corner after Applejack.

"I'll take that as a yes."

Meanwhile, rough cantering echoed through the halls from Applejack and her prey; the vulnerable, most handsome, and best at underwater basket-weaving stallion this side of the equator, Gallant Mind.

"Wait up there, big fella!" Applejack called as she stomped after Rein.

'Ay bby yu wnt sum gud fuk?' Rein's thoughts moved in his mind, flashing lewd images of Applejack over his couch with her hat pushed down over her eyes and a light blush peeking out from underneath.

"Hey, I'm talking to you!"

"I see that." Rein breathed out as he quickened his pace.

"Hey, just stop so we can talk!" Applejack yelled before a door slammed, separating her from Rein.

"I swear, I need to go back to All-Hope." Rein mumbled, ignoring the knocking at his door. Cold sweat rolled down his brow as he tried to focus on various aspects of investigations, a boring pastime.

A fearful chill rolled through his chest as the magical field that existed over the land rippled. He gripped his chest as his heart fluttered harder and harder, sending him falling back into the door. Applejack's knocking and his heart grew in sync, uneven and rapid. The walls rumbled between her knocks and a distant boom echoed through the castle as sight and sound left Rein.

'What is this?' Rein coughed harder and harder in an attempt to clear his heart through strain. "Well shit."

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One Week Later

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Light beeping blasted through Rein's ears as his eyes opened slowly, the crust of his sleep pulling his lids shut. He looked down to see the small line of an intravenous saline drip, the popular way to hydrate an unconscious pony in place of forcefully hydrating one through magic.

With groggy movements, Rein moved to the chart by his bed and snatched it up before dropping it onto his lap. He mumbled with every flip of the page, pausing particularly long on the readout of his heart.

"Heart attack." Rein chuckled, knowing that his heart was perfectly fine. He moved his hoof to the bandage on his side and jolted in pain. Observing the work, he found brown splotches of dried blood, meaning that they had to jump his heart manually. No defibrillator, no magic, no adrenaline, and no other option but to cut him open.

Frantic running passed the frosted door to the room before Rein glanced at the date on his charts. With a strained sigh, he stood up from his bed. "I better get licked all over like a piece of cake on Celestia's dinner plate for all the work I'm doing-" He moved and snatched the coat from the chair and put it on slowly. "-Saliva dripping and asking for more."

A passing nurse skidded to a halt as Rein's door flew open, nearly colliding with him as he stepped in her path.

"Nurse, why are you running?"

"We've just been put in a state of emergency!" She shook in fear. "The Feline Kingdom just declared that we'll be at war soon if their demands aren't met!"

"Why?" Rein asked calmly.

"Two of the delegates from the Feline Kingdom died a few hours ago after being in-" She breathed deep, trying to regain her composure. "-after being in the Intensive Care Unit for the past week. An explosion happened at the castle, killing two felines and injuring two more; the two that just died. Everyone is calling it a murder."

"How do they know it was a murder?"

"Because they caught the pony who did it, he was the only one unscathed after the blast."

"That's weird." Rein shrugged and began to leave.

"Why is it weird?" She asked.

"Cats are supposed to have nine lives." Rein chuckled, hearing the scoff of disgust behind him.

The mare turned and grumbled before hurrying into a trot. She slowed when she looked into the room the stallion had come from, knowing it as the high profile patient room. She whipped to stop the stallion, but found no one.

"I'm gonna get fired for this..."

Meanwhile, Rein strode through the streets of Canterlot as panic washed through the streets like rainwater in a storm. Town criers yelled of the coming fire as newspaper stands sold tabloids of the end. The sound of an alarm rang from the hospital, meaning that they noticed his absence. Knowing he was making his way into crowded streets, He chuckled before stuffing a cigar into his mouth, lighting it up with a happy puff.

Silently, the nearby alley welcomed him into its darkness. The bustle of the street flooded the alley mouth as the alley itself was dead, save its use of trashcans and assorted utility valves. With another long take from his cigar, he blew the smoke into the area around him, trying to piece together where he was since the layout of Canterlot had changed so dramatically.

"Those things will kill you, you know." A familiar voice said.

"My grandmother lived into her nineties." Rein said, taking another puff.

"Smoking?"

"Minding her own damn business." Rein leveled his eyes at Rainbow Dash.

"Are you always a jerk?"

"I try." Rein sat against the wall, moving to avoid the squeezing of his bandage. "Why are you here?"

"I came to check on you."

"Why?" Rein chuckled.

"Because you scared my best friend half to death and she asked me to check on you to see if you were up." Rainbow approached so she was a mere arm's length away.

"Just like her Great Grandmother." Rein smirked, ignoring the eye contact Rainbow was baring down on him.

"Right, sure. What are you doing out of the hospital?" Rainbow asked.

Rein perked his brows and walked past Rainbow Dash and around the corner into the large, secluded section of the alley system that ran through Canterlot.

"Hey!" Rainbow growled as she shot up and down to put herself between Rein and the rest of the alley. "You're not going anywhere until I have answers."

After a tense moment, Rein took another long puff and glanced over lazily. "Is there any reason you're bumper humping me right now? ...Or do you have a thing for getting it on in alleys?"

"Wanna repeat that, pal!?" Rainbow challenged, obviously angered.

"Injured stallions, huh?" Rein asked and shrugged, opting to begin the removal of his coat. "Just take it easy on me, Dashie, It's my first time."

"What is the matter with-whow!" Rainbow's eye drifted downward as something fell from his coat, a tinge of pain entered her mind. She sputtered and covered her eyes. "P-P-Put that back in your shealth, dude!"

Rein fell to the floor, letting his body go limp. "I can't Rainbow, our love is too strong! You must suck out the venom!"

"What venom!"

"The venom of love! The venom that has infected my penile region!" Rein pulled a shoulder from his coat, letting it fall down under him, giving him a blanket to roll around on. "Only the cleaning of the womb tomb with my sacred broom will satiate the need for this disease!"

Rainbow's body quivered as it moved in its own, her power to resist now gone. Breathing, labored and hot, echoed in her mind. Hooves giving out under her and wings beating irregularly, she moved onto her belly, crawling for a dark shaded column that rested on Rein's leg.

"We can't." Rainbow continued against her own inhibitions as she reached her target. Her hooves rested on either side of Rein's thighs as her mouth grew wet. "We're in public."

"Yes, but it's what you want." Rein cooed as the hot breath of Rainbow's breathing kindled his own will, giving rise to his own body.

Rainbow eyed Rein's "interest" as he looked down at her, waiting for her answer. In the meantime, she looked over his body and saw that it was blurry as if her eyes were glazed over.

She opened her mouth wide, letting her tongue lull out lazily, but paused as Rein grabbed a piece of dark chocolate from his coat. He unraveled it before tossing the piece into his mouth and sighed, grabbing a hoof full of Rainbow's mane before wrenching her head back away from his Rein Jr., forcing her up and into a deep, sloppy kiss.

After a moment, Rainbow fell sideways onto his leg, letting her head rest in his belly.

"Sorry." Rein said.

Almost exhausted, Rainbow regained her senses. "What was that? What did you do to me?"

"Dark magic." Rein picked his cigar back up and stuck it into his mouth.

"Y-You cursed me?" Rainbow asked in shock.

"No, your proximity to me let you intercept some dark magic and my suggestion of "wanting to get it on in the alley" let your desires run wild." Rein said. "Dark magic amplifies the desires of those that aren't used to it. A shy pony may be more open. An angry pony may be enraged. And a sexually repressed tomboy may lose her virginity."

"I'm not a tomboy!"

"But you are sexually repressed." Rein said, looking down at Rainbow and gesturing to his half-chubbed stack of meat. "What's wrong, Dashie? Can't get any stallion to accept the challenge and take you on your kitchen table like you want?"

"T-That's private!" Rainbow tried to not look at Rein's penis as she stood, averting her eyes toward the sky. "I'm going to the castle to tell everyone that you're awake."

"I'll see you there." Rein slowly stood, grabbing his coat as he rose. He watched Rainbow shoot her wings out before taking flight. "Oh, and Rainbow."

She paused, confused at the lackadaisical tone.

"If you ever want some "no strings attached" sex. You know where to find me." Rein blew smoke that wafted up as Rainbow erupted out of the alley.

"I should have you executed."

"Luna! The fun never ends." Rein chuckled as his surrounding shimmered into shadows of a dark room, the telltale signs of a powerful teleportation. "And bringing me to your room, I'm honored."

"I saw everything."

"Voyerist!" Rein feigned insult then was hit square in the chest with a blast of magic, sending him back through a table and into the wall before falling to the floor amidst the shards of wood. He lay limply for a moment and began to groan.

Luna stood from her pillow and sauntered through her large room before arriving to Rein's beaten form. She chuckled and shook her head, smiling at her victory.

"Maybe now you won't have such blatant disrespect for royalty." Luna proclaimed and stood proud, but when Rein sat limply on the ground, she jostled him with a hoof. "You may rise, Peasant."

Worry rose in her heart. "Prisoner six one six?" Luna tried to use magic on Rein, but the beams curved around him, forcing her to place a hoof on his throat. "No."

With a violent bang, Luna teleported from the room, followed immediately by Rein chuckling to himself and sloshing to his hooves, using a nightstand as a crutch. "I probably have ten seconds before that psycho returns." He mumbled and moved to her banister. "Just enough time to get into trouble."

After ten seconds and a quick drawer check, Rein hung from the banister and hung like an ornament six months out of season. He looked around and saw a waterway down below, but not directly under him. Even if he had a running start, he wouldn't make it. Just as he tried to concoct a way around the problem, another violent bang erupted in the room bringing back the loud voice of Luna.

"-and then I checked his pusle and I believe he had another... Rein!" Luna's voice was frantically moving into enraged when she saw a distinct lack of death on her floor.

Rein smirked then realized he still had a lit cigar in his mouth. "Shit."

"Um, do you need help?"

"What?" Rein craned his neck backwards to see Fluttershy floating by him and a crowd of ponies hanging out on Celestia's balcony on another floor off to his right. Celestia was there, of course, giving him the most displeased look she could muster.

"I asked if you-"

"Go away, Buttersworth!" Rein groaned and tried to move from rung to rung along the balcony before part of the railed blasted away with blue magic.

"Rein! I'm going to make you wish you were dead!"

"Too late, Hunnybuns!" Rein glanced and saw many of the castle staff hanging out the windows out of concern along with many visiting news reporters. He wiggled in delight before firing back with his own banter. "I'm sorry the pregnancy test read "Super pregnant" but you knew this when you bedded me!"

"Y-You cur! You lie!" Luna stalked toward the banister, her horn giving off a violent, haunting glow. She noticed the eyes staring at her and knew Rein's baiting and fired back with retorts of his flavor. "Well, you will have visiting rights for our foal."

"What!" Rein nearly dropped his cigar.

"Yes, but alas you were not the best I've ever had."

Rein laughed out loud. "I bet you take it like a dead fish." He flopped weakly against the banister to imitate a dying fish. "And I've heard better sex-talk from an auctioneer with a lisp!"

Luna's face looked awestruck before a flash of blue light zapped toward Rein and then down into the balcony, sheering off an enormous stone piece, sending Rein flying with the flooring and Fluttershy off and away from danger.

Blood pumped into Rein's mind, slowing down everything for a moment so he could drink in the situation. He saw Luna's enraged look melting into panic and the Elements of Harmony slowly moving to him, but the most telling expression was Celestia's. Celestia's look had no panic, no worry, nothing; just calm onlooking, meaning she knew it was a ruse and likely wanted to have a word.

Life sprang into its regular pace and Rein evaporated into nothing but embers among the falling rocks, reappearing in Celestia's chambers, just on the other side of the doorway where the others sat. The sound of the damaged balcony crashing into the waterway below echoed up and into the higher rooms of the royal wings.

"We have to help him!" Twilight said before taking flight with those the could fly and levitating those that couldn't.

The castle erupted into fright as Pegasus guards flew down with members of hospital staff, everyone moving to help. Everyone except Celestia.

"That is very cruel, Gallant."

"So is blasting your guest from a high balcony."

"You seemed to have started it." Celestia looked over her shoulder and motioned Rein to her side, a silent order which he obeyed.

"Well, technically, she started it." Rein said. "I didn't ask to be forcibly taken in her bed chambers, before being made to take her love beam to the face. And so soon after a heart attack."

"I wanted to ask you about that."

"Don't bother, I have no idea." Rein said. "I just felt numbness and doubled over."

"I believe I know a possible cause." Celestia grabbed a rolled up newspaper and levitated it to her companion. Bold headlines reading 'Attacker Kills Two and Injures Two in Royal Castle Attack' along the top. "This stallion appeared the same time you had your heart attack.

Rein raised a brow and looked at the stallion, a green coat and grey mane with the dumbest expression painted across his face. "You think this colt gave me a heart attack?"

"It's worth the time to investigate." Celestia reasoned. "He babbled incoherently the entire time and after a moment with him, I don't believe he is from here."

Rein picked up on the allusion. "Not from Equestria or?"

"That's for you to discover, Gallant." Celestia stood and watched as Luna looked around the wreckage skeptically. "I think you should let everyone know you aren't dead before going to question him."

After a quiet moment, Celestia looked back and chuckled at Rein's transfixed look on her butt. "G-Gallant?"

"Sorry." Rein shook his head, blinking his eyes to clear his head.

"Ah, you spaced out. That happens to me very often." Celestia smiled, misunderstanding the situation.

"No, I was staring at your butt." Rein moved to stand by Celestia as she deadpanned into nothingness. "The past eighty years have left you with some weight gain."

"Thanks..."

"Don't be offended." Rein chuckled, looking down at the rescue teams. "It went to all the right places."

"Sometimes I can't stand you." Celestia smiled. "You would look good as cinder."

Rein deflated. "I guess I'll get to work." He climbed up onto the banister and looked over the side. "Oh, where are you holding the new colt?"

"Holding cells, same place the rainwater reservoir in the Fish District used to be." Celestia watched as Rein leaned forward, but held out a hoof. "And Gallant?"

"It's Rein. And yes?"

"When you get time, I want you to stop by my chambers later. There is a matter I need to discuss with you."

Rein opened his mouth to ask something lewd, but a chair levitated up and collided with him, sending him off to fall in an uneven tumble from the balcony. The chair breaking upon impact with his body alerted the crews down below, turning their gaze upward.

"Rein!" Luna Roared at discovering she had been fooled again.

"Luna!" Rein yelled back before mentally cycling through his repertoire of teleportation spells as he neared the angry night princess.

"How dare-" Luna stopped when Rein disappeared into a pile of tomatoes that landed promptly at her hooves, bursting and exploding all over her.

"Princess, are you okay?" Twilight asked Luna, fearing her response.

"Find that villain, he must be up to something dark."

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"Sir, please stop gyrating your pelvis, we see you." The guard receptionist turned on the wall speaker from the other side of the thick glass wall.

"About time, I've been waiting to get service for like five whole minutes." Rein said.

"Yes, but first, Sir. This is a no-smoking area."

"Says who?" Rein asked.

"The no smoking sign behind you?" The guard asked rhetorically.

Rein rolled his eyes and stumbled passed the guard who opened the door before being let through multiple iron, spell enchanted doors. He made his way into the observation room, a circular room that looked down on a hole in the earth lined with cells. The guard didn't bother to stop Rein as now everyone knew not only who he was and who he worked for, but what he went to All-Hope for, Equestria's one time heartland of nope. The news also paid special attention to the fact he was a former time-honored detective turned villain.

Talking echoed in the chasm from below amidst the sporadic crying and screaming, different creatures churned below, awaiting hearings for various serious crimes throughout Equestria. He hummed to himself for a long moment, knowing that the hole was somewhat of a strainer for All-Hope. Having been built decades after his incarceration, many bragged about being in the "Hole" but that was shortly before they found out how horrifying All-Hope was after dark.

"You here for the Earth pony that attacked the castle?" A guard sergeant asked.

"More or less." Rein noticed his nasty look. To ignore this, he favored a particularly thick puff of smoke to blot out the stallion's face. "Let's get this over with."

As they traveled through the halls, the sergeant mumbled about receiving word from the Princess and placing the stallion in one of the interrogation rooms. All the while, Rein merely tuned out the stallion and let his thoughts drift to the past as the smells of police hallways didn't change, always coffee mixed with various cleaning solutions, maybe a tinge of sweat.

"And here we are, holding cell bravo." The Sergeant moved and left, mumbling "monster" as he passed to lay insult.

"Charming young colt, I might have to let him take me to dinner." Rein tapped his cigar on his hoof, letting the ash fall into a pile on the floor. He slowly entered the room to see a still, green stallion.

"Good Morning." Rein said as he turned and moved toward the wall camera, unhooking a cord in the back allowing the red light to dim and die. "I see you're still in one piece."

After a pause, the stallion came to life. "G-Good morning. I'm... um, Mount Gummy."

"Mount Gummy?" Rein asked. "Are you serious with that?"

"No-I mean yes." The stallion's mouth gaped like a fish before he forced it shut.

Having remembered enough from being an accomplished detective, it was still easy to tell when someone was telling a lie even without magic. "Try again."

"Try what?"

"That name." Rein took a long drag and blew it into the air, letting the smoke pool around his head to give off a more foreboding look in the shadows. "You've probably been beaten with questions and as a result you've molded your answers. I want you to tell me what's really going on. You do that, I'll get you out of here."

"Y-You're lying."

"Oh, trust me colt, you'll find out soon if I'm lying." Rein said, eyeing down the stallion with the stripped, grey mane. "So, name?"

He squinted and tapped his hooves. "Mount Gummy."

"We're done, enjoy the rest of your life in maximum "pound me in the ass" prison." Rein giggled as he opened to leave, but heard the sudden clatter of chains on the table. He looked back to see the stallion on the table face down. "Ready to tell me the truth?"

"You won't believe me."

"Then start with your name. Depending on your answer, it's all I'll need." Rein glared. "My name is Rein 616."

"My name is ...Fish."

As the stallion admitted to another false name, his cuff grew hotter and hotter, nearly to the point of making him scream before the metal burst into small flecks of molten slag on the table, leaving blisters to rise over his fine fur.

"W-What was that?"

"Let's go, Fish." Rein turned and walked, making it a good way down the hall before Fish caught up to him.

"Hey, you! Where are you going with that prisoner!" The sergeant yelled.

"Hey, Fish. You run at all?"

"I used to be in Cross Country, but not like this." Fish said. "Why?"

"Run." Rein said, disappearing and stepping to the side. He stood by and leaned into a nearby doorway, watching what the young stallion would do next. He leisurely watched as the colt made his way around the guards, all the while being in an extremely panicked state. As he neared the doors, Rein melted the locks and opened the doors for him.

Typically, the guard fortresses of Rein's day were more secure, having both physical and magical locks. However, it is clear to him that the generation of guards that existed in this age were, for lack of a better term, stupid.

Hearing that one broke out of a guard station was usually a big feat, but in actuality it wasn't when the doors were all open. If you aren't in chains, regular guards think you're a normal pony or an inspector. Again, stupid.

Fish ran hard away from the guard house and into the district's lower street and slums. He ducked into an alley, breathing deep and hard before the distant alarms rang through the valley.

"So."

Fish jumped at Rein's voice and turned to see him sitting on a trash can behind him, smoking. "Y-You. I shouldn't have listened, do you hear those alarms? I'm in so much trouble."

"You are." Rein tapped his hooves together and smirked. "But you were in trouble long before I prompted you into leaving. And with absolutely no training and no plan whatsoever, you escaped an Equestrian prison. I mean you were just waiting to go to All-Hope, but wow, impressive."

"You damn jerk!" The pony growled and launched at Rein, only to be launched backward into a dumpster. He flailed his legs, trying to get right-side up.

Dropping the eccentric facade, Rein squinted at the reared back stallion prepared to charge. "What are you doing here?"

"I don't want to be here!"

"Then I'll ask in a different way." Rein's magic turned the pavement into gooey rubber as the stallion tried running again, causing him to be trapped like a fly in a web. A small, worn magnifying glass floated out of the trashcan beside Rein and sat itself in Rein's lion-like tail. "What is your purpose, and don't bullshit me."

"I don't have one." The stallion growled. "I just woke up and then I was arrested."

"And before that?"

"I... I was trying to bike home."

"Bike?" Rein asked.

"It's a metal thing with two wheels I used to use to get home from school." Fish tried to fight the muck but failed. "I took a shortcut home and poof, I'm here."

"Interesting." Rein mumbled.

"So what happens now?" Fish asked. "Are you gonna take me back?"

"Why would I do that? You just got out."

"But, don't you work for those ponies?"

"Could you be anymore obvious?" Rein chuckled, spitting a green wad of paper into the goo, dispelling the enchantment and turning it into dust. "I'm not returning you. I'm taking you to the Princess, I believe you've met already?"

"The big blue pony?" Fish asked.

"That's Luna. If you're going to pretend to be a local, at least learn the name." Rein scolded.

"I wanna go home." The stallion said, burying his face in the dust. He sat limply, banging his head against the ground lightly.

"You done?" Rein levitated a stick and prodded the limp stallion.

"Fuck you."

In turn, Rein just rolled his eyes. 'Well, that's another case down. Now I can escape after bringing the colt to Celestia' He looked to the sky to see the orange hues fading to blue, signalling night had come. Fish's struggle to stand drew his attention downward.

"Who are you?"

"My name is Rein 616. I was told to come and find you." Rein said, eliciting a reaction from the colt as his name sank in, proving to Rein that news of his renewed public interest reached his ears. "It's overly clear you're not from here, so work on that. Bury it deep down where no one can know it and let emotions build up on it."

"W-What?"

Rein giggled and rolled to his hooves. "Once you're the Princesses' problem, I get to go back to staring blankly at the ceiling, pretending I'm a house plant."

Author's Note

A little twist on the norm. If it isn't clear, yes, Fish is human. A human that isn't EQG and the story isn't about him, I just like the dimension elements that HIE stories bring to writing plots. Why not EQG? EQG is canon, but that'd be too easy.

Sexual content will appear in this story, it won't be over unrealistic (cause c'mon how realistic can you be with technicolor ponies) but it will be in situations that could unfold naturally.

I love feedback and need it, if you dislike something, love something, or just have input please tell me. I'm not the kind of author to get over butthurt at stuff.

Rein stole something of Luna's