Dead on Arrival

The time flew by. Catching up on Netflix, reading the latest news, listening to music, watching the latest pony episode, doing laundry, etcetera. Maud was hilarious as always, of course. All in all it was a very relaxing Saturday. You know, besides the alien corpse in my bathtub of whom looks exactly like a cartoon character and may in fact be that cartoon character, it was a pretty okay day. I glanced at the clock. 5:15 PM. It's almost time to get going.

I shut my laptop, turned off the TV, and got up and out of the bed to get ready. I glanced at the red ring of stained blood on my floor, dismissing it as something to do later. Overall I was excited for the party, but I was way more excited to show everyone my new pony.

I stepped out of the bedroom and into the hallway, the pungent sweet reek of vanilla assaulting my nostrils. I speed walked down the hall, past the bathroom, and into the kitchen. I cantered to the cupboard under the sink. I swung it open and grabbed some air freshener. The constant pungency of vanilla was starting to make me sick.

I flipped my shirt over my nose and walked back down to the bathroom. I have to make sure the intense stench of pony-death doesn't drive them away before I go. I creaked open the teal painted bathroom door and entered. The vanilla penetrated my defences almost immediately and charged at my nostrils anyway.

I approached the bathtub and shot the can of air freshener in front of me, my arm fully extended and index finger primed on the trigger. I came up to Fluttershy and yanked it, spraying wildly at the corpse. I ran the spray of freshness across all corners of her face and shoulders, including her evil-eye. I sprayed it in her messy mane like hairspray as well, just to be thorough. The rest of her was submerged in murky bloody water, so I didn't worry about that. The stench of horse-death was finally overpowered by the fake smells of spring. I stared at her for a while. And when I satisfied with my work, I pulled my shirt down from my nose.

Staring at her lifeless corpse, specifically her gaping maw, I remembered the chipped tooth in my pocket and became curious of her dental condition. I bent down over best pony and looked my gift of a horse in the mouth. They were surprisingly human looking teeth, and sure enough, her front tooth was chipped at the halfway point. The top left one, to be exact.

While I was there I might as well test a fan theory, so I moved to pinch the top right corner of her lips at both ends. The inside of her lip felt slightly moist and fleshy, while the other was furry and slightly sticky from the air freshener. The lips themselves felt dry and cracked as I ran my index finger over them to pinch both sides, inside and out. The teeth bumped over my finger as I got a grip. I lifted her lip up, uncovering her gums, too-human teeth, and, yep. Fangs. The top two canines were extended slightly, running a little over the bottom two and ending in a point.

"Ah, fangs. Should I start calling you 'Flutterbat' instead?" I joked to her morbidly. "How's your bath? I ran it just for you," I continued. "Listen, I'm going to have some company over later, does that work with your schedule?" I asked the corpse. "Well, I don't care what you think! They're my friends and I can have them over if I want!" Okay. This is getting weird. I left the can of freshener on the counter, I have a hunch I'll have to spray her again when I get home.

I walked to the door out of the room, peeking back at my uninvited house-guest as I left. The sun was shining through the window that was above head-level on the wall left of the sink and mirror. It was shining on her face, the light brightening all her features. Her tangled mane, radiating butter coat, flaccid ears flopped to the back of her head, dry as a bone dead eye staring at the ceiling, damp red mouth glistening, and pure white teeth shining. The crimson tide shimmered, she being still as stone within it as expected.

I stared the sight for a while. I saw the same repulsive thing all morning and afternoon, but the way the sunlight just radiated off her was so incredibly photogenic, especially for a corpse as gross as this. A surreal harmony of beauty and the gruesome. Wait, photogenic!

I whipped out my smartphone and clicked it on. I swiped the camera symbol to the top of the screen, turning on the camera function. I tilted the phone horizontally so I could get more of her in the shot. I raised it up to eye level, steadied myself, and snapped a picture, immortalizing her repugnant form. It was a surreal experience. Fluttershy herself was disgusting and deformed, but the way the light just bounced off her almost made her beautiful again in a weird, gross, corpse-y way. I made sure to take plenty of shots as proof of her existence. Digital photos never lie! When I show them these, they'll definitely be curious.

I realized what I was photographing and cringed at the depravity of my actions. It's good to have photographic evidence, but this was way too morbid. I'm no serial killer, so I clicked off the phone and slid it back in my pocket. I shut the bathroom door and walked back to the bedroom and took a gander at my current getup.

"I can't go dressed like this," I said to myself, commenting on my pyjama attire. I guess I just never bothered to change out of them, so I opened up the ancient dresser to find something more presentable.

I found the perfect set: blue jeans, yellow t-shirt, and red zip up hoodie. I put them on. After that, I walked to the bathroom to freshen up before I go. The scent of air freshener overpowered me, but in a better way than before as I walked into Fluttershy's makeshift tomb. She was still having her bath, but I couldn't spare time to chat. I rubbed deodorant on my armpits, brushed my teeth, and washed my face. They might be off-put if I smell like a walking bakery. I left the bathroom, making a passing glance at her as I exited. I whipped out my phone again, 5:40. I needed to get moving if I wanted to make it on time.

I strode to my front door and put on my runners, grabbed my helmet, and left the house. I checked my pockets to ensure that the proof of my outlandish situation was still there. They were.

I hopped down the porch stairs and to the side of the house where my bike was chained up. It was a good bike. A little old, but still of a high quality. It was a mountain bike with thick wide tires, light and sturdy aluminum frame, and bumpy rubber handlebars. I slipped the helmet on my head and clicked its straps together, firmly grasping my skull. It was a cool spring day, a slight wind blew past me and sunlight seeped through the canopy of trees and elated me with the lively, joyful tone of spring. A stark contrast to what I dealt with all day.

The pleasant beams of sunshine radiated off my path as I rode down the worn in streets, the wind rushing past my face with vigour. It's like the world itself was oblivious to what I had in the tub and just continued with its happy tune, but beneath the disguise it knew what I was harbouring.

I stopped at the red light, making two satisfying bump bumps as my tires passed over the LRT tracks. I rode across the intersection, signalling with my left arm to make sure not to get hit by any cars, and turned left up the road. Making sure to keep to the right side of my lane, I rode past the glass and brick "University of Alberta" sign, followed by a wide open yet fenced in field. I watched the setting change from residential zoning to campus grounds, the aforementioned sign officially marking that transition. I kept riding and passed under the glass walkway connecting the hospital to the ECHA. I got off my bike an walked up the concrete ramp to the bike racks and locked it up to the spiral of steel among its own kind. I speed-walked into the school through the double glass doors.

The interior was of a very modern architecture. I checked the time on my phone, 6:03. I have to get to 2-100, or they'd surely start without me.

I turned into a pair of steel doors and pushed push bar to enter the concrete stairwell. I climbed to the second floor and pushed past another set of steel doors to be bathed in red tinged light. It's from the coloured glass windows. Personally I think they give the place a nice touch. I continued down the line of doors. 2-045, 2-67, and finally to 2-100. The door had a paper printout of Pinkie Pie on it, saying "MLP Viewing Party: 6-10 PM. Please Knock" in black comic sans. I did as the sign commanded.

I waited a few moments until someone answered the door. "Hey! You must be here for the party, right?" A tall young man greeted. He had dark skin, short curly hair, and deep brown eyes. He wore a white t-shirt with black shorts. He was roughly 6'3 with a lanky build with a deep, warm voice.

"Yes, I am! Glad to meet you ... " I greeted him back, prompting him to reveal his name with a smile on my face.

"Marcus, and you?" He answered and gestured me inside, exuding an air of welcoming with a wide smile. There was a surprising lack of attendees, even less than I expected. There were two other people in the room, they looked fairly similar to each other. They were sitting on a couch in the middle of the room, staring at a screen in front of them. A white glossy projector hung from the ceiling, playing the title screen to the first season of My Little Pony on mute. The lights were on, so the image was pretty faded. The two on the couch turned their heads towards me, so I shot them a welcoming smile. There was a plastic fold out table carrying various treats. A bag of chips, two 2L bottles of soda, Coke and Diet Coke, a bowl of trail mix, and red solo cups.

I turned my head back at Marcus. "Matthew, Matthew Crier," I shook his hand. "Did you organize this?" I asked him, trying to make small talk.

"I did, I was scared nobody else was coming, actually," He said with relief.

"Nice," I said, complimenting his party. "Who are these two?" I asked as I entered the room. The one on the left stood up and turned around. He was fair skinned with dark brown hair and blue eyes gleaming with excitement. He was roughly 5 foot 10 and was wearing a pink t-shirt with Pinkie Pie's cutie mark on the top right.

"I'm Danny, pleasure to meet you!" He shot out his arm, "What's your name? Oh, right, you're Matt! Excited for the show to start? This is my brother, Andy. Say hi, Andy," He spoke with incredible enthusiasm, shaking my hand likewise. He reminded me of Pinkie in a lot of ways.

"Hey," Andrew said in a deep, many voice. He stared at his phone, not looking up to greet me.

"So what are you studying here?" I asked Danny.

"I'm going to be a pediatrician, I just love kids, you know? But not in that way, believe me. Tell 'em what you're studying, Andy,"

"Forensics," Andy replied flatly.

"I told him about the party and he just had to come, so he did! He was so excited! You should've seen his face!" Danny elaborated gleefully.

"Yup," Andy nodded.

"I'm training to be a surgeon, myself" I shared. "What are you training for, Mark?" I turned my head back at Marcus who was just shutting the door.

"I'm training be a oncologist at the hospital, In fact I'm finishing up my last year now. I'm a temp there," Mark said. It's like the stars aligned for me. Someone who knows the hospital and a forensics guy? Holy shit I'm lucky. I bet I can count on Danny to encourage everyone to come to my place after the party, too. He seems like the energetic type. "You can put your helmet on the table, if you want," Marcus suggested. I noticed I still had it on.

"Sure, thanks," I said, unclipping the straps and slipping it off my head. I walked over to the table and dropped it next to the cups. I approached an empty spot on the couch and sat down next to Danny who sat hunched forward, excited for the show to begin. Marcus picked up a remote.

"It doesn't look like anyone else is coming," Mark said with mild disappointment. "Oh well, I'm starting it anyway," he announced and clicked the play button. After a few moments, the theme song had begun to play.

Everyone was quiet for a while, but Danny really got everyone to open up. We had loads of fun. Cracking jokes, sharing stories, and just generally having a good time. Danny just hoovered down the snacks, but nobody really seemed to mind. He said that he worked part time as a party planner, which was cool. Andy mostly stayed quiet and watched the show, but he'd answer all the questions you'd ask. He was a lot like Maud, fittingly enough. We shared our favourite ponies. Danny's was Pinkie, of course. He said he could relate to her on a spiritual level. Andrew's was Maud, and Mark's was Applejack. I shared my affection for Flutter Butter, as well. Nobody but Andrew was really watching the show, but we couldn't imagine it off. Eventually the conversation shifted to how we first got into pony.

"It's just so happy, you know? The colours, the aesthetic, the setting, it's just all so pleasant. Andy's the same," Danny said.

"Yeah, that," Andy commented. I chimed into the conversation.

"Yeah, I'm the same. I only got into the show last month, actually. It came at a good time, too. I was in a pretty dark place at the time and its happy tone just helped me cope. Even after I'm out of that I still watch it 'cause it's just good," I shared my thoughts.

"It's good, right? I got a lot of flak from my roommates about it, though, so I just kept it to myself, mostly. Bringing it up when it comes up," Mark added.

The discussion continued, until a funny story about Danny and how he tripped and fell down the stairs when he was a kid, broke both his arms. The way he said it made it sound funnier, though. That got us talking about our living arrangements, anyway.

"Andy and I still live with mom and dad. We live out in Red Deer, so we drive here," Danny shared.

"I live in a dorm on campus. It's okay, I just wish they'd be more quiet sometimes," said Mark.

"I actually live in my own house," I bragged.

"Like, a house? Not apartment? How much is rent?" Mark asked in disbelief. We were already pretty tight friends already. I'm elated. I never really had friends like this for a while. I mostly shut out the world to study in my high school years. I forgot how good friends can be.

"Well, that's just kind of the thing. My grandma died recently, last month, actually. She didn't have any mortgage on the house and it was in biking distance from the school, so I moved in," I shared.

"Wow, sorry about that," Mark replied with sympathy. The room went quiet for a while, but Danny was there to cheer it back up with a joke about how he fell off a tree.

The chat lost energy at around the last few episodes. We mostly just watched them until the last one ended and the credits rolled. Butterflies of excitement rose in my gut. It was finally time for the proposition. A grin crept across my face. How would I even ask them? A few seconds passed when I decided to play coy.

"Any of you got a car?" I asked casually.

"Yeah, Andy and I drove here, why?" Danny answered curiously.

"I gotta show you guys something you can't believe," I said with awe in my tone.

"What is it?" Mark asked.

My breathing accelerated and a rush of adrenaline shot through me. I reached in my pockets and grabbed the flutterproof. I held both the yellow feather and the chipped tooth in the same hand and presented it to them.

"Is that a feather?" Mark inquired.

"Yup," I answered.

"What the other thing?" Danny asked.

"It's a chipped tooth," I tried to ease them into the big reveal.

"Uh, okay? Why are you showing us this?" Mark asked.

My smile grew. "They're Fluttershy's," I revealed.

"... What?" Mark asked again, looking at me like I was crazy. I had to show the photos to get them to believe.

"Are you drinking enough water?" Danny asked curiously.

"Are any of you scared of blood?" I said trying to be as non-creepy as possible. It was a stupid question, of course they're not. I whipped out my phone and loaded up the Photos app.

"Oh shit, no," Mark said, super creeped out.

I loaded up the photos of Fluttershy in my bathtub. They were nice shots, though. I showed the pint-sized pegasus to my colleagues. "You know who that is?" I said giddily.

"Holy fuck," Said Mark with a hint of surprise, but mostly disgust.

"Is that? Is that?" Danny asked, at a loss for words. Andy was speechless at the macabre sight.

"Yup. It's Fluttershy. How do think I got the feather and tooth? I found her lying dead in my bed this morning," I explained. I swiped to a close up of her mouth. The chipped tooth seemed to be a perfect match for the broken one I brought. There was a long silence as I swiped through the photos I took of her. When I finished, Mark asked something after eons of silence.

"Why is she in the bathtub, why is the water bloody?" I answered his question with "I tried to move her body to look more at peace, but I accidentally broke her leg and squeezed out some blood. I put her in cold water so she wouldn't decay," I answered.

"I'm still having some trouble believing this, how do we know you're just not really really good at Photoshop?" Danny asked skeptically. I challenged him with an invitation.

"Why don't we all drive over to my place and see for ourselves?" I asked the group tauntingly.

"You're on!" Danny accepted the challenge.

"Wait, guys. He could be tricking us or something," Mark added in a cautious tone. I refuted his accusation.

"Come on, that's crazy! And besides it's three of you versus one of me. I promise I'm not a serial killer. When did I ever give the impression that I was a serial killer?"

Mark sighed, "Just a few seconds ago, and nobody accused you of being a serial killer, so that makes you even more suspicious." After a few moments of contemplation, he sighed and made his decision, "I'll go too. If only to even our odds. It's not like I have anything else going on tonight. Sure," Mark hesitantly accepted the invitation. Alright! I got everyone on board! Now just to convince them to help me dissect her, but that can wait for later.

We turned off the projector and lights and exited the building. It was totally dark outside, but the city was well lit. Danny led us to his car and we all piled in. Danny drove, Andy was shotgun, and Mark and I were in the back. I told Danny where to go and we drove back to my place. We all walked in and just as I predicted, the air freshener wore off, the scent of vanilla was strong again.

"It smells like a bakery in here," Danny commented.

"It's the smell of pony-death," I explained. I led them all to the bathroom and introduced Fluttershy to everyone. I was expecting a bombardment of questions, but they all just stared for what seemed like hours with wide eyes. Mark reached down and touched her face, confirming to himself that she was real. They were all visibly repulsed. Danny broke the silence and asked,

"What were you going to do with her?" I made my final proposition. I had to get them all to come. I needed to make this sound as sympathetic and sane as possible.

"I was going to take her to the hospital. Find out how she died," I answered. Danny looked at the corpse, and back at me.

"Can we help?"