If anybody had told me that I would be having an off-the-books parent/teacher meeting for a kid who isn’t even mine, I would probably tell them they’re full of shit. My life is full of a lot of queer and unfortunate happenstances, but this is pretty out there, even for me. That said, I can understand why this has to happen. Without this meeting, there’s no real way to get myself in as a chaperone at this dance, and there’s no way Celestia and Luna can be convinced that Sunset and her friends need the week off to prepare for the possibility that there will be trouble.

That brings me to my current quandary; Sunset insists Celestia and Luna aren’t going to judge me if I show up in jeans and a t-shirt—and believe me, I’d love to wear those denim capris that show off my arse—but at the same time, this world’s Cadance will be appearing in a semi-official capacity representing a no-nonsense academy. I don’t expect her to be a hard-ass, but at the same time I need her to see that I want to, as much as possible, be professional about all this.

I swear, it’s not like I intended to get weirded out halfway to the coffee-shop we’re to meet them in so that I could get changed in a gas station bathroom. Isn’t it bad enough I’m getting self-conscious about the eyepatch without worrying about my clothes as well? I have to remind myself that as long as I’m without magic, my eye is as mundane as my fingers. It’s for that reason that, when I exit the bathroom, I’m dressed not in jeans and a tee, but the plaid skirt I bought yesterday, a smart white blouse with a black ribbon threaded through the collar, white knee-highs and a pair of nice flats.

With my bangs tucked away with some bobby pins, Sunset barely recognizes me. At first, I think she’s going to laugh, or make some sort of comment about how silly I look. Instead, she gives an approving nod and says, “You know, if you had glasses and lost the streaks, you would have the teacher look down pat.”

That gets a laugh out of me. “Here I was thinking you were going to say I looked like one of those fetish costumes,” I reply, idly applying some lip gloss as we continue on our way to the shop. “Not that I’d necessarily mind; I’ve always wanted to try out cosplay, but it’s something I’d probably freak out about again and have to change again. Even if you say it’ll be casual, you have to remember I’m meeting this world’s equivalent of my old mentor, my not-my-boss-even-though-she-technically-is, and the one who could easily destroy the world if she so chose.”

Sunset lets out a sigh and looks away. “I guess I know how that is,” she says as we reach the entrance to the shop. “I got so used to Princess Celestia that I started off calling the principal that. She thought I was doing it to be a sarcastic brat, so I received a lot of detentions for it.”

“Indeed.” The voice comes from behind us and a cold chill goes down my back. “I’m proud to say that you’ve really turned yourself around, Sunset Shimmer.”

Holy fuck, if that isn’t the most uncanny likeness in the world, I don’t know what is, I think to myself as my hand freezes on the door handle. In the reflection on the glass door, I can make out two tall women, both unmistakable in spite of their human forms. She doesn’t have the same regal tone or the crown and regalia, and she still has an aura of ‘I am not to be fucked with.’

I turn on the spot to face them, and give them a calm smile. Hooking my left thumb through the belt holding up my bag, I offer her my right hand. People here shake hands, right? “I’m certain your counterpart on the other side of the mirror would be elated to hear such praise for her former pupil,” I say with sincerity as I take in their attire: Celestia in a mellow yellow sundress and Luna in blue-jeans and a purple polo with a horseshoe emblem on the left breast. “Principal Celestia, Vice Principal Luna, it is a pleasure to meet you.”

Luna glares at me, but Celestia accepts my handshake without hesitation. Even so, having worn enough of them in my own life, I can spot a fake smile a mile away. They don’t like me already, and it certainly isn’t hard to guess why. I did kinda-sorta technically attack one of her students, even if I was completely justified, and if she’s anything like her Equestrian counterpart, she’s likely very protective of her wards.

“I have to admit, you aren’t at all what I first expected,” she says, after the handshake lingers a bit too long. She releases my hand and produces a printout from a pocket in her dress. Plain as day, even if the shot is a bit blurry, I can be seen just as my foot slams into Flash Sentry’s flesh marbles. I won’t even ask how anyone got such a shot to begin with. “Based on this image, I expected...”

“A maniac?” I offer, my smile becoming one of apology. Opening the door for the women, I usher them into the cafe. “I don’t deny that I may have used a bit more force than was necessary, but considering the circumstances, I simply could not stand by. Where I come from, three men don’t corner and rough up a young woman like they were unless they were up to something... unsavory.”

Neither administrator responds as they enter, and Sunset gives me a look of discomfort. I follow behind them, and am left doing a double-take as I spot a face that, though it is my first time seeing it, is also eerily familiar. A pink-skinned woman in a casual blouse and skirt—Cadance, I have to remind myself—waves to our group from a large booth in the back corner, and Celestia and Luna make a bee-line over to her.

As Celestia and Luna greet their friend and catch up, quickly, Sunset and I take a seat on the opposite side of the booth from them. An attendant quickly comes by and asks if she can get us anything, and then it’s back to awkward silence as she buggers off to get us our drinks. Really, the woman can’t come quickly enough with my iced coffee, because I’m still pretty bushed from yesterday’s events.

“Sunset Shimmer,” Luna finally says, over her mug of coffee. “Perhaps you can explain to us why we are all gathered here. Not that I mind an opportunity to catch up with Cadance, but some of us do have things that their time could be better spent on.”

I catch Sunset’s eye and nod gently. No point in holding back. “When I took Friday morning off after this pony came through the portal—” This draws a strange look from Cadance, who, despite being at least somewhat aware of magical happenings surrounding Canterlot High, doesn’t seem to know about Equestria. “—I promised myself that I would keep you appraised of the situation as it developed, despite my assurance that this wouldn’t be like what happened with the Dazzlings or at the Friendship Games...”

As Sunset summarizes what has happened over the last few days, as well as going over the basics of this time loop, I’m casually flaunting the vaguely implied Interschool Statute of Secrecy to reinforce that I am a magical lady. For starters, I show off my larger-on-the-inside bag by pulling out a record sleeve—a copy of my performance at Canterlot University so long ago—and then hinting at the record player that might also be in my bag. Then, I drop one of my numerous Cornucopia Stones into my iced coffee and pouring some into Sunset’s empty cocoa mug, noting that my glass never diminishes despite having poured out more than the original contents of half-full glass.

It occurs to me as Cadance’s eyes light up that the display that she’s probably thinking that a few of these stones could easily end world hunger and drought, which leads to my little sidebar half-way through Sunset’s recitation of yesterday evening’s events to explain the limitations of the stone. After all, the magical cost of using it is proportional to both the composition and quantity of the cloned material—though I don’t point out that I can cheat through technicalities with a stone and a mana potion—and the stone doesn’t keep things fresh. An unending soup-kitchen would still have to regularly prepare soup, and rely on someone with a lot of magic.

“That brings me to why I asked you to bring Dean Cadance in on this,” she says, with a tired breath. “The next time this otherworldly force attacks, it’s at the Friendship Formal.”

“Then it would be in both school’s interests if we were to cancel it,” Luna and Cadance reply in unison, eliciting an exchange of half-amused looks and a playful, “Jinx,” from the pink admin.

Hearing this, I can’t help but snort. “That actually won’t help as much as you think,” I say, my voice laden with dry humor. “Oh sure, it’ll theoretically keep the students out of danger, but then we have no idea what might happen.” I glance at Sunset. “Did anyone die or get injured in the attack during the previous timeline?”

“No,” she answers in a determined tone. “The girls and I made sure of that last time, and we’ll make sure of it again this time.”

Principal Celestia makes to speak, but I interject before she can raise an objection. “It’s all well and good to cancel the event, where we can say with some certainty that nobody is injured, but if the event is canceled, it doesn’t prevent the enemy from attacking. All we’d be doing is forcing its efforts elsewhere, where we cannot predict it, meaning that we’re going from no injuries to the possibility of people being injured, spirited away, or outright slain.”

That puts a damper on their protests for a few moments. Leaning close to each other, the begin to confer among themselves in whispers, seemingly debating whether any of this is true, and why we bothered coming to them. More than a few suspicious glances are thrown my way before they finally compose themselves.

“Let us pretend for a moment that we believe you,” says Luna, having elected to speak for the group. “It sounds as though it would have been in your best interests to keep us in the dark, knowing that we might cancel the Friendship Formal, yet still you came to us. That would mean that you have some other motive coming here.”

I nod.

“Might you share with us the motive?”

“Firstly, the girls need practice,” I say. “By Sunset’s own accounts, they’re all largely inexperienced controlling their abilities, and control is exactly the sort of thing they need if they are going to defeat this world-eating entity this time around.” Placing my hands on the table, I give them a pleading look. “I’d be asking for the week to train them so that they might be better equipped to protect everything they hold dear.”

Celestia offers up the photo of me sacking Flash again. “You speak as though these girls are soldiers, when you seem better equipped to deal with this threat,” she says with a cool edge in her voice. “These girls are living beings, not weapons.”

“Truth be told, ma’am, I’m just a woman in her forties in way over her head; I can say I’m not a solder, but this old mare plans on being on the front lines with them,” I say clasping my right hand over my chest. “Even if it kills me, which it very well might, given how much Ponying Up puts a strain on my heart. That said, I have other uses other than working with them and fighting dirty.”

“Silver Script is an alchemist with a speciality in restoratives,” Sunset continues for me. “She can help those who might become injured, which is why I’d like to ask that she chaperone at the event. She wants to help, but she can’t help anyone at the event if she can’t be there. Silver can help keep an eye on the students, and in turn, if you don’t trust her, you can keep an eye on her.”

~ 08 ~

The rest of the day was rather hectic for Sunset. Much of it was spent briefing the girls, ensuring they’d bring clothes they didn’t mind working out in or possibly having ruined, and soon after that, making arrangements for their training trip. Applejack’s family was more than willing to offer up the hills beyond their orchard, but Granny Smith was more than a bit curious what was taking them out of class for an entire week. Likewise, parents weren’t going to buy any old spiel Sunset could come up with on her own.

Luckily, Silver Script had no such compunction with coming up with a lie. She’d successfully come up with a convincing story—one that could be altered on the individual basis if need be—that was able to convince all parents or guardians relevant to the situation that Vice Principal Luna was willing to back up.

“Hello, is this Twilight Velvet?” she asked, pausing to await a response. “My name is Silver Script, I’m a parent volunteer with Canterlot High, and I see here that your daughter has applied to take part in a youth camping retreat.” Again, she paused as Twilight’s mother responded. “Yes, that’s correct ma’am. It’s in the hills near Sweet Apple Acres, and the Apples will check in from time to time to make sure all is well.” Another question. “Yes, I am chaperoning the event, and I can assure you that there will be no underage drinking.” ... and some more. “My ward, Sunset, tells me that Twilight needn’t worry about her grades anyway, but Principal Celestia is waiving any missed tests or assignments.” A smile spreads across her face. “Thank you, ma’am; that would be lovely.”

Sunset raised her eyebrow. “How do you manage to do that every time?” she asked, crossing her arms as she reclined on the sofa. “After hearing about what I used to be like, everyone’s parents took a lot of work getting them to trust me, and yet this is the first any of them have heard of you and they’re buying into it just like that.”

Silver Script’s smile evolved into a full on smirk.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were using a charisma potion or a glamor spell to influence them,” she continued, narrowing her eyes at the bag on Silver’s hip. “But I know for a fact that both of those require the influenced to be physically present.”

“Putting things into geeky terms, you could say that their difficulty class for bluff was low enough that regardless of my roll, I would always beat the skill check,” Silver replied, idly reaching her hand into her bag. “Sunset, I’m a mother of two. I’ve dealt with my girls enough both to be able to bluff really well, and I know what a parent does or doesn’t want to hear in regards to what equates to a camping trip in the woods.”

Still mulling over what she was sure to be a reference to Oubliettes and Ogres, Sunset barely noticed the potion Silver Script had fished out of her bag and knocked it back. “So basically, you’re saying that you’re very good at lying to get what you want?” she intoned carefully, so as not to sound accusing. How much of anything you’ve said is true?

The smile on Silver Script’s face faded slightly, but if she was otherwise bothered by the question. “You’re probably asking yourself how much of any of what I’ve said is true,” she ran her fingers through her hair, which was growing out at a surprising pace, quickly revealing that the streaks in her hair weren’t natural like those many ponies had. “The only lies I recall telling since we met are lies of omission, and even then, the only one comes to mind is regarding your parents, because, honestly, it seemed more tactful to let whatever memories you have of your father to remain untarnished.”

Sunset recoiled as though physically slapped. The mention of her father, whom she found out yesterday was deceased, stung hard. It also brought back something else Silver had mentioned. Your parents were the ones who had that feud with the Bluebloods after your disappearance... the ones who tried to fake my death almost twenty years ago. That’s what she’d said, and hadn’t she said that someone had conspired to set house Blueblood up by kidnapping her and hiding her in prison? Then...

“It sucks, doesn’t it—realizing something you’d held on a pedestal for so long wasn’t as flawless as you remembered?” Silver asked, cutting her hair down with a pair of scissors and placing the clippings into a shopping bag. “It’s like a gut-punch that you feel in your heart, shaking you to your core. I felt the same way when Princesses Luna and Celestia let me down that day.” Once it was short enough, she evened her hair out and pulled it into a bun. “But you know what? Focus that anger constructively. Let it give you purpose. You’re the true heir of House Shimmer. If we defeat this thing, and you so desire, you can go back, take control, and restore honor to your family’s name.”

Silver Script rose from her spot on the sofa, crossed the room, and placed her hand on Sunset’s shoulder. “I’m going to go get the tents for the trip. You gonna be alright by yourself, or should I call up one of your friends?”

“I’ll be fine. Go do your thing.”

~ 08 ~

I spend much of Monday morning setting up the tents mostly by myself while Sunset meets up with the rest of the girls down at the farm. Applejack’s brother, Big Macintosh stands back watching, and I can tell that he’s dying to offer a hand, but he’s already helped just by showing me the way up here. I’m responsible for the girls right now, so I may as well make sure they have as much time as possible to enjoy themselves before I start testing them.

While I refuse to let him help with the work, I do keep a relatively steady conversation going with him. With a bit of prodding, he tells me a bit of the local layout, the wildlife, and things to look out for. There’s a nearby lake fed by a waterfall, and though it’s mostly deer and smaller predators such as foxes and coyotes, there’s supposedly bears and cougars—and he probably doesn’t mean me—that prowl the area from time to time. No poison ivy or oak though, which is good, because I didn’t bring anything to treat those.

By the time Sunset leads the rest of her party up to the site, I’ve got all the tents set up and a fire pit dug. Reclining against a log by the fire pit, I call out as I hear the girls making their way up the path. “Thanks for keeping me company, Mac,” I holler after him, even as he starts off back towards the farm. “I’ll keep them out of trouble.”

“Eeeyup,” he calls over his shoulder, never once looking back.

Shortly after, I get my first glimpse of the rest of this world’s Elements of Harmony. No kidding, I spent this whole time having avoided seeing any pictures of the rest of them. Still, I’m not really all that surprised. First up is Applejack in her trademark stetson, a flannel shirt, jeans and cowboy boots, spurs and all, and a rucksack over her shoulder. Next it’s Rainbow, who for whatever reason is wearing a white martial arts gi with a black belt, but no shoes. No bullshit. Rarity’s up next in a plain tee and hiking shorts, but all of it is put into shadow by a ridiculously wide-brimmed straw hat. Similarly, Fluttershy is wearing a plain tank top, what looks like Japanese gym shorts, and tennis shoes. Pinkie is just... No. Let’s pretend she’s not dressed like she doesn’t know what you’re supposed to wear in the woods.

I’m a bit taken aback by the sight of Twilight, who is at the back of the pack with Sunset, burdened by a large backpack that looks to be full of her own camping equipment. I honestly expected her to look like a geek, and I’m not disappointed, but at the same time, I’m still surprised. When I think Twilight, I don’t usually think glasses, yet this world’s Twilight has glasses that definitely look to be prescription. They also look kinda funny paired with the pith helmet and khakis.

Still, I can’t complain about anyone’s attire, given the layered black tee, white longsleeve shirt, and jeans setup I’ve got going. Hell, the red neckerchief just makes me look like something out of an anime I watched as a child. Hmm, maybe I can start shooting laser beams out of my finger tips? Nah.

“Hello girls,” I call out, not rising to greet them. “Welcome to your home for the next week. I’m Silver Script, and I’m here to make your lives hell before the enemy has a chance to.”

Unsurprisingly, Rainbow Dash lets out a derisive snort. “Pffft, this is the pony who beat up Flash?” she comments to Applejack as she drops her bag by one of the tents. “She doesn’t look so tough. Look at her! She’s like Celestia’s age, and that eyepatch doesn’t make her look the least bit tough.”

Applejack gives me an appraising look, to which I respond with a raised eyebrow. “I dunno sugar,” AJ replies in an even tone. “I reckon she could take you. Not sayin’ the fight would be fair, but if she came to help, I reckon she can hold her own.”

The scoff from Rainbow is all the hint I need that this would be a great learning opportunity for everybody. “Y’know, I think AJ’s right on the money, Skittles,” I say in a teasing voice. “Pretty sure this old lady would have no problem knocking you down a peg.” I hop to my feet and brush myself off. “How about it?”

To my surprise, there’s a gentle touch to my elbow, followed by a concerned Fluttershy being at my side. “That wouldn’t be such a good idea, miss,” she says, casting a glance at Rainbow. “She’s a black belt in Karate and she’s never lost in a tournament...”

Before I can answer, Sunset steps in. “It’s alright Fluttershy.” I smirk at her and nod. “If she breaks her, I’m sure there’s enough in Silver’s bag to put her back together again.”

Pinkie Pie pulls a bag of popcorn out of nowhere and sits down on a camp chair I don’t recall setting up, while Twilight gives Rainbow an alarmed look. “You really think Rainbow would hurt her that bad?”

“Nah, I was talking about Silver,” Sunset replies, giving Rainbow a playful smile. “No fighting in camp though. There’s a clearing over there you can play in.”

I nod and make my way across camp and through the treeline. Sure enough, the clearing here is plenty big enough for me to spar with the cocky rainbow chick, as well as for all of the girls to practice magic later on. Rainbow Dash is right behind me, adjusting her gi and looking pretty arrogant about this all.

At the far side of the clearing, I turn to face Rainbow. “I hope by the end of this week, you all will have learned something,” I say, angling my body, and bending my knees in such a way that my feet would make an L if there were imaginary lines extending from their backs. I raise my own hands. My open left hand is closer to Rainbow, held loosely at shoulder level, while my other is held closer to my breast.

Rainbow Dash’s eyes narrow as she sinks into her own fighting stance. If my guess is right, she’s probably thinking that I have some sort of training, or wondering how a supposed pony would know such a stance. I grin at her and incline my head in such a way as to expose my throat. In other words, come at me.

Her approach is a cautious one, which means she’s trying her best not to underestimate me. Good, maybe this will actually be some fun. That said, I’d never let an opponent I don’t have a measure of dictate the terms if I could help it. In response to her cautious approach, I begin circling her in a counterclockwise manner watching not her hands and face, but her feet.

Much like her pony counterpart, when she makes her move, her strikes are fast and hard. It would seem that I am right in assuming she has taken the wrong measure of me; she’s a far more experienced fighter, but she’s telegraphing her moves in the way she shifts her weight between her feet, making it easy to redirect the first punch and then catch her follow-up kick on my forearms.

This, unfortunately clues her in that I’m reading her feet and she clams up, as it were. She backs off a measure and begins circling clockwise around me. It’s obvious that she’s going to try to strike from the blindspot of the eye-patch, but it’s cute that she thinks I don’t want exactly that.

Smiling inwardly, I begin focusing on balancing body and magic, while not Ponying Up completely. It’s much easier to do, having done it a couple of times now, and a day to relax between uses. Magic begins flowing freely through my body—something I still need to learn to control myself, so not to hemorrhage magic and tire out so quickly—and I can tell my cockatrice eye is back.

“Hey Rainbow,” I call out just as she crosses into my blind spot. In one swift motion, I pull off my eye patch and look in Rainbow’s direction. “Think fast!”

Her eyes widen, even as she inadvertently locks gazes with me. It’s almost comical how quickly she turns to stone. Rainbow barely even recognizes what is happening before it’s too late, and she’s stuck in a slack-jawed pose, one of her hands wide open. The others let out an alarmed cry from the far side of the clearing.

I quickly shift the balance so that my magic goes back to being inert, and then stretch. “Eeesh, that’s hell on my knees,” I comment, even as I begin walking up to Rainbow. “Just goes to show I’m getting old.

“Lesson one, girls,” I call out, as I reach into my bag. I withdraw a can of whipped cream and begin liberally applying it to Rainbow Dash’s hand. “Our enemy has no interest in playing fair. It’s not going to fight honorably, so you need to be ready for anything.”

Convinced I’ve got enough whipped cream on her hand, I re-apply my eye patch once more, and begin reaching into myself for my magic. Once I’m sure my eye is active again, I lean in and give Rainbow an open-mouth kiss, making sure to gently close my teeth on her bottom lip. Once the stone begins flaking off of her and I’m certain she’s cognizant of what’s going on, I shutter my magic once more, and quickly withdraw to a safe distance, giggling.

Rainbow quickly begins to blush and brings up her open hand to wipe her mouth before she becomes aware of the cream. “Eugh, what the—” Everyone except Fluttershy and Rainbow begins laughing as Rainbow gives herself a whipped cream facial. “Oh come on! Really?”

“Lesson two,” I say, sliding the whipped cream canister back into the bag. “Don’t fuck with a person’s ice cubes.” This is going to be fun.

Author's Note

AKA: the chapter in which the ice cubes are avenged.