We now return to "The Daily Life of a Villain"...

"As I said, nothing is going to stop me now."

Jack's body froze in place. His eyes sealed themselves tight together. He awaited his fate at the tip of Twilight's horn.

Superbeam to the face, the same way Black Sun, his master, died.

BOOSH

The floor behind Twilight's hooves burst from below and launched into the air. The floor then immediately crashed into the ceiling and stuck there, crushing Twilight inside.

Silence enveloped the room. Jack's ears perked up upon hearing the gentle whooshing of the wind. He slowly opened his eyes and instantly took in the sights before him.

"What the fuck..." Jack uttered below his breath. Looking up, he saw Twilight's tail sticking out from the ceiling. Looking down into the hole, Jack saw Aurora, looking back up at him.

"Jack!" She yelled to him. "Are you okay?"

"First off, titles." Jack replied. "I'm Black Dawn, you're Aria of Doves!"

"Sorry."

"Second off... What the fuck was that?!" Jack screamed.

"Is Berserkersteel okay?"

"What, oh, he's fine. But-NO! How did you do that? Actually, how did you even get in here? Where are the other villains?"

"Is this really the best time for questions? Just get Berserkersteel and let's get out of-"

THUD

In the blink of an eye, Jack's view of Aurora was gone, instead replaced with the floor from the ceiling, back to where it was. Slowly, his eyes moved up to meet the fiery glare of Twilight, standing right in front of him.

"...Hi..." Jack said with a nervous laugh.

"..." Twilight growled from her throat.

"So, that was a quick recovery."

"..."

"So, what's the deal with airline foo-" Twilight grabbed Jack by the throat with her hoof and slowly lifted him up. Gagging, Jack struggled to relieve himself, but it was no use. Her grip was iron, and fire in her eyes was more furious than before. "Re-reconsider!"

"Tell the King of Tartarus I'm coming for him next."

SPLAT

A wave of fresh blood poured over Twilight. Grossed out, Twilight dropped Jack and clambered to the other end of the observatory.

"Ew! Ew! Ew!" She squealed. "What is this?!"

"Tis the semi-corporeal substances of the souls that forever remain tortured in the Infernal Realms!" A voice loudly declared from the center of what is now a ring of blood and organs. Jack and Twilight looked over to see Dr. Opium, proudly standing with a strong look on his face.

"Dr. Opium!" Jack cheered.

"Young lord!" Opium commanded Jack. "The barrier that encases this fortress has shattered within the Infernal Realms! I will see to it that the Level 9 villain is safely escorted through the Infernal Realms and taken to the EVIL headquarters! Cyberdame and Doctor W. will be here shortly to obtain you!"

"Wait, can't you escort me through the-"

"No! The eyes of an innocent pony like yourself should never take sight to the Infernal Realms!"

"What am I supposed to with Twilight then?"

"...You'll figure it out. Ta-ta!"

Dr. Opium then quickly ran up to Berserkersteel and ignited his horn. Another portal formed below the two. Claws emerged from the new portal once more and dragged the two through the portal, taking the pillar with them.

Twilight eventually recovered from the shock and locked her sights onto Jack.

"Get over here!" She roared.

"Nope!" Jack retorted and instantly charged for the door. Twilight quickly followed in pursuit, and the two dashed down the tower.

As Jack was running down the stairs, Aurora burst down from the ceiling and joined Jack. Stone and debris pelt Twilight, giving the two villains a lead.

"Berserkersteel's being taken to the EVIL as we speak." Jack informed Aurora. "Our mission is over."

"Doesn't look like it!" Aurora exclaimed, looking back and seeing Twilight gaining on her and Jack.

"Alright, I know this is really inappropriate to ask now, but I need to know-"

"I am single if that's what you're asking. No, I am not open to dating as of now."

"No, not that. How did you blow up the floor in the observatory?"

"Back to that?"

"You're an Earth pony and you just blew up a floor several metres above you, it is a very reasonable question. Why are you avoiding the question?"

"Look out!" The stairs above the two exploded, launching stones at the two. Aurora leaped onto Jack's head, causing him to duck and the two barely missed the debris.

"Gah! I can't see! Your hoof's in my face! At least, I hope that's your hoof..."

"Just keep running!" Aurora climbed up onto Jack's back and clutches tightly to his mane. Another section of the above stairs was blasted apart by Twilight's magic. "Left!"

Quickly reacting, Aurora pulled Jack's mane to the left, veering him to the left and around the collapse.

"Ow!" Jack squealed.

"Sorry, but deal with it! Right!"

"For fuck's sake-OW!"

The castle vibrated violently as Cyberdame and Wyly walked down the long halls of the castle. They were lost, and the lack of light didn't help their condition.

"So, who'd win in a fight? Hero Sunset Shimmer or Hero Starlight Glimmer?" Wyly asked his partner, continuing their conversation.

"Starlight Glimmer, of course." Cyberdame answered.

"What? Sunset could turn into a demon and kick her ass."

"Starlight can travel through time."

"So what? It's not like she can do anything. Time is written in stone. If Sunset beats her up, she beats her up."

"Time isn't written in stone."

"What is it?"

"It's a big ball of wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff."

"That's horse-shit."

"Why are you arguing with somepony fourteen years younger than you?"

"I'm bored."

"There would be more villains in here besides us and Dr. Opium if your shield disruptor lasted more than five seconds."

"It would've if it had a better matching frequency, one that your virus should've picked up instead of being caught."

"How was I supposed to know Twilight had an anti-virus program put into a shield disperser that would be too risqué for even the EVIL black market?"

"Whatever. Let's just find the dispenser and destroy it. If it's now too unstable to work in the 'Infernal Realms', just imagine how easy it will be up close and personal."

"Stop right there, criminal scum!" A guard yelled at them down the hall.

He is quickly joined by three others, each armed with a spear and shield.

Cyberdame and Dr. W. posed into combat stances and awaited them to make the first move.

"Do you know martial arts?" Dr. W. whispered to his partner.

"No, you?" Cyberdame replied.

"No."

The front guard then charged at them alone. Wyly immediately squealed and curled into a standing ball. Cyberdame stayed firm. She raised a hoof into the air. The guard quickly reached Cyberdame and raised his spear. Cyberdame swung downwards below the guard.

POW

With Cyberdame's clenched hoof smashed into the groin of the guard, a small moan could be heard echoing across the hall. The guard soon collapsed onto the floor, moaning as he held onto his crotch.

Cyberdame turned the guard onto his back and examined his clenched face. Slowly, she slid her hoof down his chest, causing the guard's eyes to burst open. Her eyes lit up upon seeing them.

"Holy shit!" She exclaimed. "He's tripping balls."

"What?" Wyly replied, uncurling from his defensive position. He looked over Cyberdame's shoulder, seeing the guard's eyes changing colours. "That's not tripping balls. That's mind control."

"Mind control?"

"Mind control. Dr. Opium showed me this parlor trick where he made a stallion do the same thing with a small light, a red cloth, and a gram of gunpowder. Poor guy was made to drink his own piss and everything. Next morning, boom, forgot everything."

"Forget everything..." The guard moaned.

"See?" Wyly pointed out. "Absolutely wasted."

"Charge!" The three other guards screamed. The trio stampeded down the hall after the two.

"Incoming!" Cyberdame exclaimed.

"Relax," Wyly shooed her. "The good old doctor also taught me how to break the control."

The three guards were only seconds away from stabbing the two villains.

Dr. W. stepped forward and proclaimed, "Hey! Your fly is open!"

"What?!" The trio exclaimed, instantly grinding to a stop. Cyberdame watches in awe as their eyes return to normal after several blinks.

"The only thing that can break outside influence; self-awareness," Wyly explained.

"What happened?" The guards collectively groaned.

"Wait," Cyberdame added. "If this is Twilight's work, did she knock these guys up with the mind control trick? I know she's an insane bitch, but she isn't an idiot or a downright enemy of the other princess. Why would she even hold the Level 9 villain here when, if I recall correctly, she had her own castle? Actually, regarding the shield device, where'd she even get one if they're so illegal?"

"It would appear this is not just Twilight's work." Wyly remarked.

"A third party?"

"AHH!!!" A pair of voices shilled down the dark hall.

"What was that?" Wyly asked.

The sounds of explosions and and crumbling stone echo throughout the room. A bright light flashed from around the corner.

"...We should go-"

Jack and Aurora smashed through the wall and dashed towards the guards, Cyberdame, and Dr. Wyly.

"Jack?!" Cyberdame asked.

"Run!" Jack yelled back as he and Aurora darted around the five and continued down the hall.

"What?"

"Get back here!" A voice screamed from the hole in the wall. Another figure burst out from the wall next to the first hole. It was Twilight, radiating in a powerful magic aura. Her mad glare snapped to Cyberdame and Wyly.

"RUN!" The two screamed.

Back on Lord Orangutan's head, the two snipers are tracking the events going on in the castle halls through the windows.

"Holy crap," the left one remarked. "Now there's four of them!"

"Four?!" The right sniper asked. "How do these villains get in when we can't even break down a door?"

"No idea, but whatever they are doing, it's working. Well, not 'working', more 'staying alive'."

An explosion went off in one of the windowed rooms, tearing down several walls in the process and revealing more of the interior. The two then noticed a large spherical device at the back of the castle, emitting both magical and electrical sparks.

"You see that?"

"Yeah. Looks like a shield projector, probably magic."

"Isn't that kind of thing illegal?"

"Does it matter when you're already planning on murdering a Level 9 villain?"

"I guess not. Wanna take the shot?"

"Sure, what's the worst that can happen?"

"Don't tempt fate bro."

"It isn't tempting fate, it's a positive outlook."

"What?"

"Alright, so I ask, 'What's the worst that can happen?'. You shortsightedly reply, 'We could die.' Now, since it is apparently the 'worst', chances of it happening are substantially low. Therefore, chances are in our favour that whatever happens next will not be as bad as us dying."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, just take the shot."

"Fine..."

With a quick steadying of his rifle, the sniper fired a bullet at the device. The bullet pierced through the glass, through the magic barrier, and hits the device right in the middle. The machine sputtered for a second before exploding in a small fireball.

The barrier that once protected the castle revealed itself before shattering into millions of bits of magic dust.

"Holy crap..." The right sniper's jaw dropped.

"Hey guys!" The left one screamed. "Try one more time, this is it!"

"Didn't you two hear?" One of the villains yelled back. "Hydroon called, apparently Berserkersteel was returned to HQ. We no longer have any business here."

"Oh, I guess we didn't see that. What do we do about the four villains inside?"

"Wait, there are villains inside?"

"Yeah."

"They're low-level villains," Count Scorch responded. "We always lose a few during rescue missions. It's no use wasting our time with them. If they are worth more than their number, they'll be fine."

"...Okay, I guess take makes sense. Not really."

"Wait!" The right sniper exclaimed.

"What?!" His partner asked.

"There's another one!"

"Another one?!"

"Yeah. How are these guys sneaking into the castle without us knowing?!"

"Where is the villain?"

"He's on the base floor. The others and Twilight are approaching him fast."

"Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope, NOPE!" Wyly chanted as he, Jack, Aurora, and Cyberdame are fleeing down the foyer stairs away from Twilight. As they reach the bottom, a beam of magic barely scaved Aurora by the ear.

"Agh!" She screamed.

Jack quickly asked, "Are you okay?!"

"I'm fine."

"Not for long!" Twilight screamed from behind.

"We're almost at door!" Cyberdame exclaimed.

Just as they entered reaching distance of the front door of the castle, Twilight fired a bolt above them, collapsing the ceiling in between them and the door.

"Never mind!" Cyberdame said.

The four turned around to see Twilight flying right at them, charging another magic attack. They immediately scattered to the right, screaming at the top of their lungs. One by one, they bolted through one of the side doors into the kitchen, with Jack at the lead. Jack tripped over a rolling pin on the floor. The others quickly followed as they all collapsed into an unmovable pile.

"We're fucked!" Wyly cried.

As Twilight soared into the room, her horn immediately locked onto the pile of ponies and dragon. She squinted an eye. She began to pull the mental trigger.

BWONG

Twilight's vision immediately turned gold before turning black. With a loud thud, Twilight fell onto the floor, knocked out.

"...Are we dead?" Jack asked, forced to be facing away from the door.

"Celestia Solaris, can not one of you take care of a fucking princess?" A familiar stallion's voice chastised the four.

"Wait... I think recognize that voice." Jack remarked. He strained his neck to look around the pile and saw he was right. The greenish villain from the theatre was right there next to Twilight's body, holding a golden cookie tray in hoof. "It is you! I thought you said that you weren't interesting in helping in the rescue."

"I wasn't. I just came here for the free shit while the princesses and you guys were measuring dicks. Do you see this tray? Solid gold. Everything is gold. Guess how much golden silverware is on me?"

"A lo-"

"No, wait, goldware! Yeah! Ha, ha, ha," The stallion weakly chuckled, "he, he, he... I'm sorry, that pun was worth it though. Shut up."

"Can you help untangle us?" Aurora asked.

"Fine." The stallion agreed.

"Thank you, um... What was your name again?"

"Bullit."

"Is that your real name or..."

"Look, I don't do the whole title thing. I only made one up to keep the bureaucrats' panties from twisting. Speaking of bureaucrats, the EVIL just left, looks like they got that Level 9 villain or whatever. I'm looking out of the window right now, they are just marching back."

"We should catch up!" Wyly demanded. "The EVIL is going to throw a returning party, and I want to be first in line for the good stuff they're offering."

Bullit rolled his eyes. "Alright. Hey, is it cool if I, you know, help myself to Twilight while she's out or..."

"Could you not?" Cyberdame hissed, being slowly crushed below Dr. Wyly.

"What? You don't swing like that?" Bullit asked.

Wyly called out, "Can you at least help us out first? This mare is getting too close to my private sectors."

"...Fine."

"Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots!" A constant chant roared throughout the bar. Villains left and right were chugging down barrel-loads of beer and surrounded by their fellow minions or villains. Drunken slurs and smoke-filled coughs became the language of the returning party.

At the corner of the bar, Dr. Wyly was huffing down a small mountain of mixed drugs next to Dr. Opium, who is lightly indulging himself with a miniature bong. Cyberdame was standing at the wall and overlooking the party with a glass of water in hoof.

At the main counter of the bar, Jack quietly watched over the party, taking in the insane atmosphere. A mug slid across the bar and into's Jack leg on the counter. His glance turned to it. It was bubbling to the brim with beer. His eyes traveled up to see the barmaid who gave it to him, who simply winked in response.

After taking another look at his surroundings, Jack decided to take up the offer. But as his hoof reached the mug, another hoof swooped in and snatched up the mug. Jack turned to see the stallion who stole it, Bullit Blaze, half asleep on the counter.

"Fuck you, I deserve it..." Bullit drunkenly slurred. "After untangling you asses, the guards just had to stop jerking each other off and chase us out. I wanted that puss, you fuckin' asshole."

Jack rolled his eyes in self-humour.

After spewing some non-sequiturs and drinking down the entire mug, Bullit collected himself and continued, "Don't let that last bit dig deep in ya'. I'm just pissed off. Hopefully I'll hangover and forget..."

With that said, Bullit's head slammed onto the table and his limp body slumped onto the floor. Drunken snoring could quickly be heard from his body.

Feeling that this would be a great time to write in his memoirs, Jack grabbed his journal from beneath his cape, turned it to a fresh page, pulled out the pen tied to the cover, and began to write.

Every great pony's story always begins in the most unusual of ways. Shortly after becoming a villain of the EVIL, I was brought into the rescue of a Level 9 villain, Berserkersteel Chainaxemane, from the clutches of my master's killer, Hero Twilight Sparkle. With some help from, who I consider, friends, we did it. Now, as I am writing this, the EVIL is celebrating the return of one of its key members, and may shortly award those who have saved him.

"What's that?" Aurora asked, revealing herself from behind Jack's hunched shoulders.

"Oh," Jack stuttered. "My, uh, memoirs."

"Oh, that's neat."

"Lord Jack!" Dr. Opium called out to him. He was dragging the semi-unconscious body of Dr. W. towards him and Aurora. "Do you possess a means in which to ail this dragon of his black-sight?!"

"Sorry." Jack shrugged. "Side note; it's 'black-out', not 'black-sight'."

"Very well then!" Opium declared. "Hey, we made a pretty good team today, didn't we?"

"I... guess we did." Jack nodded.

"Perhaps we can do this more often, to formulate a team-up and perform acts of villainy upon the masses!"

"Sounds fucking awesome!" Wyly screamed, coked out of his mind.

"I like that idea." Aurora added.

"I guess I can tag along for a few of these group missions." Cyberdame said, now at Jack's other shoulder.

Jack found himself surrounded by villains, all eager to be his friends and team-up. This was not what he expected at all for his first day. Overcome with joy, Jack began to nod his head frantically, unable to say a word.

"Hey, BC!" One of the other villains yelled out. "Who got you out of the castle?"

"Myself, of course!" The robotic voice of Chainaxemane roared throughout the building. "I just let her capture me for shits and giggles, and a bit of banter of course! Heck, I even rescued a few villains that were trapped inside. HAHAHAHAHA!"

Actually, fuck it. This day was a total bomb. A few badass moments in between, but for the most part, utter piss in the face. Black Dawn, signing out.

Pilot - Black Dawn

Writer

Mario Hyulia

Cast

Jack Ripper - Mario Hyrulia
Aurora - Mario Hyrulia
Bullit - Haphazred
Dr. Opium - Mario Hyrulia
Dr. W. - Mario Hyrulia
Cyberdame - Mario Hyrulia
Venus Treaser - Mario Hyrulia
Robo-Dash - Mario Hyrulia
Berserkersteel Chainaxemane - Decanus_Alexus
Count Scorch - Atlantis Productions
Twilight Sparkle - Hasbro

My Little Pony, its characters, settings, and content, are all owned by Hasbro. All participants who contributed in either character creation or writing are to be credited for their part.

"Absoluter,"

"Paladin,"

"Something has come up in the rescue of Berserkersteel."

"What?"

"The mare has recently revealed her powers to the stallion, but it would appear that neither he, or anypony knows of her power."

"She has been showing signs that she is aware of these powers. Could her memories-"

"More than likely."

"And the stallion?"

"He doesn't know anything yet. Ms. Treaser will keep that in check."

"Is this secrecy really needed? If they just knew their powers, they could make defending themselves a lot easier."

"All the more important to keep them clueless. If they reveal their true capabilities to everypony, they become targets for the bigwigs, both ours and theirs. They'll throw rocks at them, only to be given boulders in return. They will of course escalate, forcing needless lives onto the battlefield and into the slaughter."

"I see. Very well then."

"On a final note; It would appear that Twilight is not alone."

"Could it be?"

"I've seen it myself, Absoluter. It is them."

"..."

"..."

"Paladin, are you sure this will work?"

"I have no doubt about it."

"Your abilities of analysis always amused me."

"Then why do you dirty our names?"

"And you don't? That mask you parade yourself in will only last for so long before the world discovers the secret."

"At least by then, a new generation will take our place."

"Then how about we start early? Let us begin our first mission..."

Author's Note

Well, those were the pilot episodes. I hope you enjoyed them. If you didn't, that's fine.

This isn't really the start per se, rather a concept. The first episode is really when this show "takes off".

If you want to contribute in either writing, character creation, or something to make the show better, sign a form given to you in the description.