Black Tail Life

You have that moment in your life you just want to say fuck you to a good guy. Oh and that is not a question, I am telling you, you -will- have that moment. You know it was an accident, it was not intentional, but you are still pissed. Leth is a cool guy and all, but the motherfucker hit my head, with his big hand, in my doorway, with a lot of force.

As my brain restarted after being nearly bashed in, I felt a slight pull from my nerves. It was like, all of my body was telling my something. I am not really sure what it is, it is like I am both feeling and seeing with my mind's eye. I know it seems a little crazy but it really is. Close by, but still far away, I could feel a presence. It was heavy and dark. This presence is- now I feel someone shaking me.

The one time I have a deep mental period, trying to be in touch with my spirit, I get shaken like a can of spray. I take a mental sigh and start to awaken. And in movies where the light is blinding? It really isn't, it is just your eyes readjusting. So shut it, you babies that over exaggerate. I see the ceiling of the nurse's office, stark white, as tradition. I feel my ears ping as they pick up someone yelling. "Another thing, why the hell would you hit the door that hard in the first place? Do you like banging doors? You some kind of door banger?"

Door banger, really? Now who is says door banger? "I should burn your tail off!" And now I know it is Blaze, good old Blaze. He is always looking for a good excuse to burn something to the ground. I start to lean my body forward slowly, making sure not to rush the blood to my head.

"Well look who has arrived back the waking realm." I heard a female say. I rolled my eyes to the left and saw Nurse Bline Kine sitting in a chair next to me. "You took a heavy hit there. Leth as one big fucking hand."

I slowly touch my head, feeling around for any blood. Luckily no wounds were left, allowing my to sigh in relief. I turn to the older Homonculi. "Yes well, I'm here for three days and been in this room twice."

Bline Kine nodded with a chuckle. "To be more accurate, three days and soon to be three nights." The cat woman pointed out the window. "It's almost night, took you all day to recover from that blow to your head." All day? All of my Saturday! Gone, just like that. Damn it man, well at least I got some sleep. Or was it a coma? Fuck the terms, I am a Fox-boy who is family with Pinkie Pie. All arguments are invalid, bitches.

I slowly left the sheets of me and hang my feet off the side of my bed. I push myself off and stand up. "Well I got all of tonight and tomorrow. I guess I'll live."

"Not if you keep getting hit in the head." Nurse Bline Kines aid in that, matter of fact tone. "Keep it up and you will get an injury you will never recover from."

"Good to know." Fucking horrible to know this. Should I wear a helmet? No, that is silly, just watch it. That's all, be careful with the world around me. I stretch my back and yawn. "Well I am going now. Thanks, Bline."

"Black tail, wait a moment." Bline Kine said, just as I take my first step. I turn around and see her taking out an eight pack of smokes. "I was looking over the health records. I found yours last and I was, stunned, as to what I read." She lit a match and lit the cigarette. "I saw you were born an only child, soon accompanied by Blaze a few years later by marriage. Also I know you have that little problem down below."

My ears twitched as the reminder of my 'little problem' irritated me. I turned to the nurse and looked at her dead in the eye. "Look here, Kine, I don't need someone to remind me of my issues. Yes I am a bastard son, but that bastard dad of mine is none of my concern. Further more, I have a great step-dad, even if he is a pony." I turn around and walk to the exit. "Good day Bline."

As I touch the door, Bline called back to me. "But Black Tail, I-"

I slam the door open and turn around. I step back into the hall and raise my chin up and bark back to the cat woman. "I said good day!" I expel a long sigh and turn around to see Blaze with a ruler. I look down to see Lethroldus and Pink Fade sitting on the ground with their heads down. "Well now this is unexpected."

Blaze nodded and handed me the ruler. "Sorry bro, might have flown off the handle with the punishment." The stallion hugged me with one of those famous bear hugs. "You good bro?" He asked as he squeezed the life out of me. I struggled to push him off me and free one hand. Yet I managed to escape and bonk the pony on his head. He winced and held his skull with his hooves. "I'll take that as a yes."

I looked down at Leth and sighed. He stuck his hand out for me to shake. "I'm sorry Jero." I can't stay mad at dogs. Fuck it! I shook his hand and pulled him up to his feet. "I didn't mean to hit you. I was just coming bye to say hi. I didn't see you around so I thought to check your room."

"So you normally knock on doors like the police?" I asked, obviously trying to relax the situation. Leth grinned nervously and nodded. I sighed and patted his back. "We'll get through this my friend."

Pink Faded though, dear Goddess, let me strangle this mare! I just want to place my firm hands around her neck and take the life out of her! Just squeeze till the devil himself feels sorry for her. Then when she is dead, I'll use black magic to turn her into a zombie and then keep killing her till I'm dead! Then, when I am in hell, I will find her and strangle her till the end of time.

Pink Fade's lip quivered as she looks at me with big puppy eyes. "Jero I am so sorry for what happened." She then gave me a hug.

"All is forgiven!" I hugged her back. And yes, I know what you may be thinking and fuck you Sir. I just need to vent out or I might just do it. I am forgiving, but I need payment. "As long as I take half your porn."

Pink Fade sighed and nodded. "Fine, but I pick which."

"Deal." I smirked, knowing I was about to get some good issues. I let the mare go and start to walk toward the exit till Blaze caught he by the leg. I look down at the stallion and asked him, "Just what the cold hell?"

"Since you are up, I need to ask you a favor." Blaze said with a smile. "Pinkie called in for some entertainers but most didn't show up." You son of a bitch, you want me to do it. "And I need you to do it."

I shook the pony off my leg and looked down at him. "Why would I do this that you speak of? Why?" I tapped my foot as I waited for an answer.

Sadly I got a good one. Blaze smiled and whispered in my ear. "It's your best song."

My eyes shot open and I placed my hand on his head. I then jumped on his back and kicked his sides. "To the stage, minion!" As normal, I was kicked off him and landed on my ass. As I stood back up from landing on the schools tile floor, I glared at him. "One of these days, I will get my ride and you well not bitch."

Blaze huffed in the air and trotted toward the doors. "Only on my dead body." He held open the doors for me and the other two. Note to self, get a dead Blaze for transportation.

As Blaze led me away from the school buildings, I say bright lights by the dorms and recreation building. Most is not the student body was there. I saw everyone form class scattered out among the crowd. I saw strobe lights and dance floors. Some how, I don't know how it happened, a disco ball was in the air. It was just spinning around...Moving on we had refreshments out and still warm.

To me, it seemed like everyone was having a great time. That was till I got to the stage and saw Pinkie Pie with a white mare with an electric blue mane. "Vinyl, I know this is bad but please wait just a tiny bit longer."

Vinyl shook her head sadly. "Sorry Pinkie, I know you wanted this, but I just can't do this one without someone else. I mean, I know I'm the best and all." She said with almost no modesty. "This wasn't really part of the deal though. I can get your money back though." Vinyl said sympathetically.

I walked up to the two of them and confront Pinkie Pie. "Pinkie, I heard there was an issue."

"Jero!" Pinkie shouted happily. "Thank Celestia you're here. I need you to perform a song. I know it is-" I interrupted her and placed my hand in my pocket.

I sighed and patted her on the head. "Blaze told me. I'm ready and hyped up." I turned to Vinyl and kneel down to her level. "I'm Jero, hope we can still put on a show."

The mare looked at the crowd, Pinkie, and back at me. He smiled and nodded her head. "DJ Pony. That is with a three when you write it. Or Vinyl Scratch if that is easier."

"Alright Vinyl, well lets start this power house." I smiled and started to walk to backstage. I see fog machines, lights, and a very disturbing sight. In the center of back, I see a stick of TNT hanging from a string. I think turned back and shouted as loud as I can. "Who the fuck put dynamite back here?"

Craze Blaze popped up with a smile and rushed to the back. "My stick!" He leaps up and pulls it down. "I got it for fun."

I narrowed my brow and yelled at Blaze for his idiocy. "You got a stick of death for kicks?" The stallion nodded violently and smiled. "I love you, but I also want to kick you."

"That is animal abuse!" Blaze argued.

"We're all animals." I rebutted.

Blaze's darted around as he tried to think of something to comeback at me with. "Well you're stuck a virgin." He then smiled and trotted off. Dick move brother, dick move. The stallion trotted off with his dynamite like he won.

Alright he won, but I got the next one. I try to think for a moment for a comeback, but can't seem to grab hold of one. I then notice Vinyl at her DJ booth and conclude it was almost time. "Oh shit." I quickly look and pick up an electric guitar. I plug it into an amp and tone it. I look over to Vinyl and call over to her. "Yo DJ, you know what to do?" I ask, slightly worried.

She nodded. "Don't worry bro, I got this down pact. The only instrument not included was the electric. Also three minutes." The mare reminded me of the time left.

I sighed as I went over the lyrics in my head again and again. "Alright, I got this!" I picked up a guitar pick and finalized the adjustments. I hear Pinkie Pie walk in front of the curtain and get on the microphone. As she gets everyone ready, I looked over at Vinyl one last time. "Yo DJ. If I fail, make it a clean kill please." Vinyl chuckled, thinking it was a joke. It wasn't a joke. I see the curtain open and the microphone placed back on the stand. I slowly walk out to the stage and move the mic up a little and clear my throat. Well time to grow a tail.

Play Here

There is a short period before I start the lyrics. "This is for all the fluffy tails!"

Pick up my sword it's time to do business
Strap on my cloak I'm 'bout to roll with this
When you're this swag this world just bows at your knees

Call me the chef cause I'll make your blood boil
(Hora Hora) Gimme some of dat coil
Snake oil 'cause you know I aim to please

Tickle my fancy, tickle my prostate!
Don't get me off cause I'll just get irate
Put in my place but I'll break out once again

All these encounters may just leave me scarred
And when I'm rock hard, I fucking rock hard
Like Alice, we're down the rabbit hole my friend

I don't give a damn, not an iota
Motherfucker, I'm the Straightest Shota!

I'm on a quest of which I know that I can never fail
I will prevail
Even though there may be many foes stalking my trail
I'm in love!
Weak at the knees and yeah I'm growing pale
Only one thing left to do
Touch Fluffy Tail!

Lately I know I'm going so crazy
Never thought goodness would be so hazy
Once you wrap me up yeah you know I'm caught

But sorry, baby, I just can't get with this
Gotta get out and get back to business
Tofu or Tail? Oh, it's food for thought

I don't give a damn, not an iota
Motherfucker, I'm the Straightest Shota!

I'm on a quest of which I know that I can never fail
I will prevail
Even though there may be many foes stalking my trail
I'm in love!
Weak at the knees and yeah I'm growing pale
Only one thing left to do
Touch Fluffy Tail!

We'll see the light of day again my dear
Let's go on an adventure!
The heavens frown upon us on this day
But I've still got my quota
Motherfucker, I'm the straightest shota!

I'm on a quest of which I know that I can never fail
I will prevail
Even though there may be many foes stalking my trail
I'm in love!
Weak at the knees and yeah I'm growing pale
Only one thing left to do
Touch Fluffy Tail!
(Oooooo)
I'm in love!
Weak at the knees and yeah I'm growing pale
Only one thing left to do
Touch Fluffy Tail

After I hit the finally note and let the sound fade, I look out into the crowds to see and hear cheering. He nodded and throw the pick into the crowd. I walk over to the DJ and pound fist to hoof. "That is what it's all about."

"Damn straight it is!" Vinyl seemed to agree strongly. "We need to do that again."

"You sure?" I asked with a smile. Of course she agreed and I ran back to the mic. "You guys want another dose?" The crowd cheered for me, but I need to fire em' up. "I said, do you want more?" The roared louder then before, so I just have to oblige. "Alright!"

As I looked for another pick to play with, I hear loud bursts off in the distance. My head jerks as I saw small flashes in the distance. I turned my head to the corner as I saw Leth, bruised and bleeding from his arm. My eyes widened an I ran to the mic. "That encore is delayed, sorry!"

I ran to Leth as I heard groans and boos from the crowd. The curtain closed and I slid on my knees to him. "Leth, what happened?"

Leth growled as he began to explain. "Some punk heard us talking about you. I'm thinking it was that bull you messed up before. He and some others jumped us."

"Leth!" I yelled in urgency. "Who is we?"

He sucked his teeth and dropped his head. "Rin, Pink and Blaze." I dash down out the back and run towards the bangs. "Jero! They have cherry bombs!" The bruised dog boy warned.

I turn around and look at him. A silent fury hidden in my eyes and whisper to him. I pull out a lighter and grin madly. "I have a torch." He turn around and sprint past the crowds. As I pick up speed, I get lower to the ground and let my hands drop back. You know how ninjas run in the dead of night? Yeah, that shit works if you know how to do it. In a matter of moments, I come into view of my friends.

They were surrounded by four punks, oh an I see that bull motherfucker being the fifth. I get my lighter ready as I pick up speed. I take a powerful leap onto a table and jump into the air. I soar for a moment before kick thee Everfree shit out of his head. With that swift kick, I knock him out and threw his body into another punk. I land and take his spot. "Alright you fuckers." I take out Omani's Touch and lite it. The flame put some fear into the runts, making one run off.

"Jero." Pink Fade called me. I look at her and gave her a small smile to tell her she'll be fine. She smiled back at me but the bang from a cherry bomb frightened her.

"Oi, so you're Black Tail." A punk said. He was a Homunculi, a bird type by the feathers on his arms. He looked at my chain and his expression turned to a wide smile. "So those things are actually floating around out there. Or is that a fake?" My eyes widen as I hear him. My reaction only fueled the fire has it served as a confirmation. "So that is real. This is a fun day."

"What is it Kyle?" A pony asked as he held Blaze down.

Kyle replied without taking his eyes off my chain. "That there is called a Rook. It's nothing too significant, but I was in my old mans study one day and say a picture of them. Said that long ago, when the Homunculi-" I heard enough of this joker. I punched him in the side of his face, knocking him to the floor.

I turn to Rin and Pink and tell them to escape. "Run ladies! Run!" I took a hoof to the face. I staggered back and kicked the stallion who hit me for two reasons. The first was payback, but also he got off of Blaze. That was stupid, so very stupid. I instantly bring the moron to the ground and punch his temple. As i get up, I see blaze knock the remaining two's heads together.

I look at the carnage that had bent dealt and look at Blaze. "Why the hell was this so easy, yet Lethroldus is hurt?" I have a really bad feeling.

"Oh that?" Blaze started. "That is because the others were getting food to eat or something." Blaze looked behind me and pointed. "See, they're right there." As slowly turn around to see seven more students. They were large and actually pretty menacing.

They started to run after us as they dropped their cups of drinks. I was not staying for this shit. "Run Craze!" I only use his first name in case of a death situation. Not life and death, we won't live if they get us. I turn around with Blaze and start to run as fast as I can. Yet those guys were running just as fast. I start to hear the flapping of wings behind us and conclude that they have a Pegasus. Most likely not about to drop off my new baby either! "Blaze, we need to get out of this!"

"But Jero, I am sure we can beat them!" Blaze argued.

"Celestia damn you Blaze! Why did you drag me into this? Throw the damn dynamite!" I passed him the lighter, knowing he would still have the stick.

Blaze caught the lighter and took the dynamite from Celestia knows."Yes! Finally! Dy-nami-tay!" He lit the explosive and prepared to throw it at the mob. To his sadness, it seemed they had ran at the sight of the TNT. "Oh, man I wanted to throw it." The stallion looked at the stick and watched the fuse cook. "What now?"

"We die." I answer bluntly. I lick my fingers and turnout the fuse. "Problem solved." The fuse lit once more by itself. I turn out the spark once more. "There." The spark was once again refused. "Fuck!"

"Lets just throw it!" Blaze suggested. I gave him an evil glare and he reconsidered. "Or we can launch it into the air."

I asked him, "How do we do that?"

My brother pointed toward the park, a large array of fireworks were scattered around and ready for use. "That'll work!" I snatch the TNT and dash for the park. I look around and found a large rocket designed firework that was perfect. "I need duck tape!"

"I got it!" Blaze rushed to a tree and reached inside. Celestia behold he pulled out tape. "Pinkie keeps stashes everywhere she goes."

"Cool, give me!" I snatch the tape and tie down the dynamite. By the looks of the fuse, I didn't have long. I jump back and shout, "Light this candle!" Blaze took his lighter and did so in a split second. He lit the fuse close to the base, accelerating the firing process. "Now run!" I yelled once more.

Blaze and I cut through the trees in the park and ran back to the staging area. Most of the crowd was still standing there. As Blaze and myself made our way through it and to backstage, I sweat like a pig. The screeching of a firework echos throughout the campus and we all look up. While everyone expected a small crack, me and Blaze, now safe smiled and watched as a large fire ball expanded in the sky. It caught everyone off guard, to be honest, it was a bit funny. I sighed and made my way backstage and took up my guitar and walked across the stage to the mic.

As I tap it, attention is attracted towards me. I clear my throat and look back up at the sky. "Whoa, now that was something. Sorry for making you wait, I think we should get this party restarted!" The crowd roared with excitement as I strummed the guitar. "Oh, lets go DJ!"

So there you have how my first year at Tandem started. The first few days were so packed of events I can barely believe it. But who am I to say anything? I'm the one who is going to either enjoy it or think it were hell.