Ah, what a comfortable bed. That is, a bed that would be comfortable, Donovan assumed, if he was about a foot and a half shorter. After an extensive conversation with Princess Celestia and Princess Twilight Sparkle about Donovan’s origin, in which Twilight was extremely enthusiastic in participating, the three of them decided it would be for the best if Donovan stayed with Twilight in the library’s spare room for the time being. Though he was thankful for a place to rest and complementary food, Donovan never was one to leech off of others’ hospitality. With an almost embarrassed acceptance, Donovan thanked the princesses for the room, and promised he’d be out of Twilight’s house as quick as he could find employment.

For now, though, the bed made for midgets that Donovan was laying in had served its purpose for the night, and as soon as he realized the sun was up, Donovan gladly hopped out from under the covers and headed towards the bathroom. Time for a morning deuce and then a shower. That’s it, he just needed to open up the door and then he could…

Shit.

“Of course… if the bed was small, why wouldn’t the crapper and shower be made for elves, too?” Donovan mused aloud in an annoyed sigh before shrugging and halfheartedly dropping his drawers and popping down into a ridiculously low squat, grunting as his ass touched the cold porcelain. He quickly dropped of the Cosby kids before flushing and stepping into the shower, his face dropping more as he realized that the showerhead was level with his abs.

“Fuck this, man…”

Several squats and a handful of shampoo and conditioner later, Donovan was ready to face the day in this bastardized equine universe. Except for the fact that he was only equipped with one outfit: his boxers and an undershirt. He hung his head for a moment before remembering something that Twilight had mentioned to him yesterday. She had a friend in town - Rarity, he recalled her name to be - that happened to be a seamstress and the “Element of Generosity,” whatever the fuck that means. All he knew is that Twilight told him she’d more than likely be happy to make him an outfit for free. He flinched inwardly at the word, but quickly pushed it to the back of his mind; he’d pay her back later.

Donovan made his way to Twilight’s bedroom door, knocking softly before speaking. “Hey, Twilight, d’ya think that seamstress is available right now?” He waited several seconds for a response, and he strained his ears as he heard slight shuffling, perhaps movement against a bedsheet.

“H-Hmm..?” He heard a dry voice respond weakly in what seemed to be an inquiring tone.

“I said, is that seamstress pony available right now?” Donovan posed the question again. 'God, it's like waking up Mallory for school.' He thought to himself. He just simply never understood how it was so difficult for some people, and ponies, he reflected, to wake up in the morning. He didn't even need coffee, a shower was for than enough to get him ready to face the day. At least, when there was something to do. If he was off work and the kids didn't have school, he could sleep all day.

A groan of either annoyance, weariness, or both sounded off in response before that little magic-using-sound started vibrating in Donovan’s ears. He looked down to find his entire body surrounded by purple plasma. “Twilight, what are you-” He was interrupted by a sudden flash of light and a change of scenery. Everywhere he looked, Donovan saw pony mannequins, except for where a desk sat, with a white furred, purple-maned pony standing behind it. The pony quickly turned its head from something on the desk and met Donovan’s gaze with a polite smile.

“Oh, why hello, dear! I’m Rarity, and you must be Donovan! I’m assuming Twilight sent you, yes?” Donovan opened his mouth to respond, but was quickly silenced as Rarity continued talking in her God-awful ‘prim and proper’ accent. “Oh, I was so excited when she informed me that I’d have the opportunity to make garments for a new species!” Donovan once again found himself enveloped in a unicorn magic plasma, and carried behind Rarity to a drawer overflowing with measuring tapes. He was promptly set down and Rarity began to speak once again. Donovan barely resisted the urge to cover his ears at her shrill voice. “Well, first things first; we need to get your measurements, or your new outfits won’t fit very well at all.” She seemed to be talking to herself more than to Donovan, quickly noting the dimensions of his bipedal frame. “Hmm… you only stand on two legs…”

Obvious eardrum-murdering pony is obvious.

“I suppose this won’t be much different than when I made those outfits for Spike!” Rarity said with a decided nod of her head. She promptly used her magic to put away the measuring instruments, simultaneously writing down the last of Donovan’s numbers on a sheet of paper that was already covered with what seemed to be scribbled-out dress designs. “Wonderful!” Rarity said before turning her attention back to Donovan. “Now, tell me what you would like your new garments to look like.”

After about an hour of explaining to Rarity what jeans, flannel shirts, slacks and button-downs were supposed to look like on humans, Donovan was ready to get away from the never-ending headache that was Rarity’s vocal chords. Rarity had so generously decided to tailor for Donovan four pairs of black jeans, a pair of pajama pants, a pair of black slacks, two white button-downs, three t-shirts, two flannel shirts, a black tie, five pairs of underwear, and three pairs of crew socks. She even offered to recreate Donovan’s work boots for him, which he was extremely grateful for. After she’d finish drafting the designs, she quickly outfitted Donovan with a flannel shirt and a pair of jeans to wear for the time being.

“Wow, these feel great, Rarity.” Donovan said with a small smile on his face as he stretched slowly in his new garments, willing to forgive her mouth for the torture it put his ears through because of the quality of the fabrics. “Thank you so much!” He stopped stretching to give Rarity an apologetic look. “I can’t pay you at the moment, but-”

“Oh, that won’t be necessary, dear! Having the opportunity to design clothes for a human is payment enough!” Rarity interjected with a beaming smile. Donovan just gave a sighing smile and a shake of his head.

“Heh… Thanks, I guess. Anyways, I’m headed back to Twilight’s for breakfast and then I’m off to look for work. I can’t wait for those boots to be ready, I know my feet are gonna be sore before too long.” He said in a half joking tone as he headed towards the door. “Thanks again for all this Rarity, I appreciate it.”

Rarity waved to the human as he exited Carousel Boutique. “Anytime, dear! Be sure to swing by tonight, I should have everything just about finished up!” As soon as Donovan shut the door behind him, the seamstress giddily set to work on creating the rest of his garments, her magic splayed out all across her workshop. She managed to contain her excitement for about fifteen minutes before she exploded with eager positivity. “Oh this is going to be so much fun! Twilight is so lucky to be housing Equestria’s first human!”

“Oh, Celestia! What do they feed you humans back on Earth?!” Twilight groaned, her voice muffled as she covered her snout, preventing any more of the stench wafting from the guest bathroom from invading her nostrils.

“What do you mean?” Donovan retorted, slightly annoyed. “Humans feed themselves, we don’t get ‘fed’ like animals!” he explained before huffing angrily.

“It smells like your diet consists strictly rotten eggs! It’s disgusting! You’re disgusting!”

“And you’re supposed to be Equestria’s humanitarian? Well, I sure am screwed, huh?” Donovan fired back, his face slightly red with anger. Sure, Donovan wouldn’t have a place to sleep last night if it weren’t for Twilight offering him a room, but he was already peeved at her. She teleported him across town, with now directions of how to get back. The past fifteen minutes or so had consisted of Donovan trying to find his way back to the library without any idea of how to get there, stubbing his toes on a few rocks along the way. Needless to say, Twilight wasn’t his favorite pony in the world right now.

“Yeah, well… Urrrgh!” Twilight groaned before heading downstairs to the kitchen. “Whatever, I put a fragrance spell in the bathroom, so there shouldn’t be any more problems from now on… what do you want for breakfast?”

At that moment, Donovan decided he wanted a breakfast that he was sure Twilight didn’t want. Just out of petty spite. “Hm… I feel like a breakfast burrito with sausage, hashbrowns and scrambled eggs. I’d cook it myself, but, y’know,” Donovan started, unaware of the look of fear on Twilight’s meat. “It’s kinda hard to cook over a stove while squatting.”

Twilight slowly turned to Donovan and quietly posed a question, her voice wavering slightly. “Do… Do humans eat… p-pony meat…?”

Donovan instantly realized what Twilight looked so scared for and quickly waved his hand dismissively. “Naw, horse is gross.”

Twilight’s face fell into a relieved expression, a breath slowly escaping her. “Phew… okay, good…” Quickly, though, Twilight’s mouth contorted into an angry snarl. “Hey, what do you mean, gross?! I’m not gross! And I’m not a horse, either!”

Donovan chuckled softly before responding. “Well, you called me disgusting earlier, it’s only fair; I meant your meat, anyway. And, sorry about that horse thing, It’ll take a while to learn all the obscenities around here. Like I told you yesterday, horse isn’t a slur where I come from, it’ll take a few days for me to adjust.”

Twilight quickly responded, her voice thick with sass and sarcasm. “Sure, it’ll take you a few days to adjust your language, but you seem awfully adjusted to the fact that a species that can’t talk in your world is suddenly sentient in another.”

Donovan sighed inwardly before replying to the princess apologetically. “Okay, Twilight, look. It’s obvious that neither of us want me to be staying here-”

“Yeah, you’ve got that right.” Twilight retorted as she set to work on making food for Spike, Donovan, and herself.

Donovan tensed up in annoyance, but held his tongue. “Right… Anyways, as I was saying, if you want me to be out of your home as soon as possible, then I need to at least act like I’m adjusted enough to function properly in society so that I can get a job.”

Twilight nodded in agreement, but stayed silent, deciding that the eggs she was currently scrambling required more attention than their conversation.

“Now trust me, I appreciate your hospitality, Twilight; but I really hate living at the expense of others, I always feel like I’m leeching off people when they help me. That’s why I want to get out of here, more than anything else.” Donovan explained as he sat at the kitchen’s serving counter.

“...Fair enough.” Twilight said after a few minutes of silence, laying a neatly folded breakfast burrito in front of her human housemate. “Sorry, I didn’t have any meat, I usually only keep enough around for Spike, and he ate the last of what I had yesterday… I’ll get some more next time I go to the market.”

Donovan nodded and offered his thanks before quickly downing his breakfast in a few bites. He then headed back towards the front door, throwing a quick explanation over his shoulder. “Thanks for the meal. I’m going job hunting, I’ll be back whenever.”

Twilight quickly washed off his plate, a barely-visible smile adorning her face. “Okay, I’ll leave the door unlocked for you.”

“Mhmm.” The slender human hummed in response before shutting the door behind him, only two thoughts on his mind...

‘Alright, time to look for work…’

‘God, I really fucking wish I had shoes…’

Author's Note

I'm genuinely surprised that I was able to crank out this chapter so fast. I hope you all enjoyed it, and if you haven't already, be sure to show your support by giving this story a thumbs up!

Deuces, guys!