Last chants for the slow dance

The sun rises on yet another morning.

As she chews her breakfast with her siblings, Applejack is conflicted.

The corn is coming in glow-in-the-dark. Despite her best efforts Pinkie Pie’s words sunk into her head yesterday. The time for waiting and seeing seems over, but there is also much to do to be ready for cider season and she’s still falling behind. A whole field has already been lost. But if she doesn’t find out what’s corrupting the environment, she won’t have a farm for long to worry about. Unless the right thing is then to just work extra hard so they can weather it out.

There’s so many possibilities and as head of the family it is up to her to make these decisions. Applejack needs to be a strong role model. She needs to be brave and push through with a course of action. She needs to choose quickly because if she’s going to buck the northeast field she’ll have to get started now.

Applejack plays with her porridge but only eats half. While she’s still at the table thinking, Applebloom is getting ready for school and Big Mac is just about to head out. She grabs the big one before he gets through the door.

“Hey, Big Mac, getting your chores done is pretty important, I reckon?”

He stares at her steadily. “Eeyup.”

“And so is saving the farm from ruin, ain’t it?”

“...Eeeyup.”

“Yeah, that’s what I was thinking… So then, maybe if’n you only do some of your chores and then use the rest of your time off saving the farm, then maybe that’s okay? Don’t you think that’s a fair trade, that it all balances out?” She says, mostly to work it all out in her head. She isn’t asking for approval, she is head of the family and makes these decisions for herself.

“If that’s what you gotta do,” Big Macintosh gives his approval.

Applejack nods her head. “Right… That’s what I gotta do. That’s what I decided is best for us, so don’t you give me any lip about it. You know I don’t take to my leadership being questioned.”

Macintosh goes out the door to start his own work, giving a final, “Eeyup.”

It’s decided and she feels a little better. Applejack puts on her hat and trots out the kitchen. Bad elements beware, she thinks. She is going to find out what is messing with her farm.

Spike told her a lot. She wishes he hadn’t. There are a lot of things Fluttershy wishes she didn’t know.

A villainous invention and manic plots. Twilight is apparently also not happy with the way things have gone. What does Fluttershy know about dealing with magical prodigies and particles?

She remembers what Rainbow Dash told her and wonders what her good things are. Little lives depend on her. She is good at getting lint deep in her ear canal. Anything she wants to do she can get up and do right now.

Spike has a fever. That’s enough to pull Fluttershy out of bed despite herself, because she would rather not be culpable for his death if the decision is up to her.

As she checks him she notices for the first time an inflamed bite mark on the back of his arm. Seeing that he must have been poisoned, Fluttershy panics and makes him drink several different antivenoms. That puts him out for hours. Fluttershy knits something that is meant to be a tea cozy.

Later that evening he wakes up again. As she tends to him with wet wash clothes, Spike groans as if to prove he is sick. He groggily says to her, “Fluttershy, please. You have to do something about Twilight, she is a danger to everypony. She will kill us all.”

Fluttershy doesn’t answer anything committing when he says things like this to her. She only pats his head and says, “There, there.”

But when Fluttershy is not caring for Spike or her animals, she is forced to think about it. Her guts become icier than usual and Fluttershy doesn’t see anything she can do. She feels something inside her say, ‘I really don’t think you’re strong enough.’

Today, she decides the world is too big for a small pony like her to alter its course.

Applejack starts by visiting Golden Harvest’s neighboring carrot farm. She is surprised not to see anyone working in the fields, so trots on up to the house. Applejack disapproves of that. Carrots are easier to grow than apples so carrot farmers are lazier.

When the door opens she spares not a moment. “I have questions.”

“Oh. Hello Applejack,” Golden Harvest says just enough to be courteous.

They have never had more than passing politeness for each other. Maybe if they were both fruit farmers, Applejack thinks, they would get along better. They both grow multiple crops but Applejack has always found more integrity in those who choose a fruit as their primary produce.

“So, say then, what’s your impression of the weather?”

Golden Harvest shrugs. “It has been raining a lot lately. Good for the carrots.”

“Not as you might think. You been noticing anything weird with your fields?” she asks vaguely. She figures it is important not to lead Golden Harvest on.

“Like what?”

“You know... freaky things. The unnatural. Infernal weeds? You know it when you see it.”

They hear a loud clang followed by the laughter of small children. Golden Harvest peeks her head back inside. “Can this wait? I am trying to feed my foals.”

“Nope. This is official Sweet Apple Acres business.”

“Then there is nothing supernatural going on at my farm.” Her tone of voice sounds like talking to a foal.

“I did not say supernatural, I said unnatural,” Applejack insists. “Like any troubles with your crops you don’t usually have?”

“No, I told you the rain is doing good for my carrots.”

“And the weeds and other pests?”

From somewhere in the house echoes the sound of shattering glass. Golden Harvest flinches at the sound. “Not much of anything,” she says impatiently.

Applejack isn’t buying it. The other mare does not seem to understand, and Applejack is sure she can’t be the only one experiencing this because she takes better care of her fields. Applejack says too loudly, “Okay, are you growing any glow-in-the-dark vegetables? Because I am.”

Golden Harvest is not impressed. “None of my vegetables glow in the dark. There are no demon weeds or ghost pumpkins. Now I really need to go,” she says and begins backing into the house.

Applejack steps forward, taking an urgent tone. “But are you sure? Your crops don’t look very healthy, is that just you not taking care of them? Or something more?”

Golden Harvest frowns at her. “Goodbye, Applejack.” The door shuts.

“You’ll regret that when you’re so lazy you don’t even notice you got mutant carrots!”

Noon light spills into her royal office. Soon it will not have to be shared with mediocrity.

Celestia sighs into her hoof. Never in her eternal life has waiting been so difficult. All this running a kingdom is pointless but she must keep up appearances for everything to play smoothly.

She looks down at the form she is filling out. The spaces are covered in Twilight, Twilight, Twilight. It’s been too long since she’s last seen Twilight. She wonders what Twilight is doing.

Every week, sometimes more, she sends Twilight a letter using her little dragon, and the replies have been getting sparser and sparser. Now she is not getting anything back.

She hopes Twilight has not been too busy. Celestia has been very busy lately and still makes time for Twilight. She is getting many complaints and petitioners and reports from ponies saying strange things are happening. Just this morning, a mare had entered her court hysterical that her foal had been born with no neck and six legs.

It had taken a lot of effort not to gloat in satisfaction. The mare was sent to a mental institute. It’s becoming difficult to prevent the petitioners from realizing other ponies are reporting the same problems and she has to keep the larger population unaware until it is too late. She thinks that is a job Twilight would be good at; Twilight is good at handling lots of tedious things for her and they make a perfect team.

There is a knock on her door. “Your Majesty, it is time to leave if you wish to arrive at the Wonderbolts show on time.”

Like that. A whole performance filling a stadium merely to impress her. Celestia does not see the point in a rabble of pegasi showing off for her when she is faster than anything alive and probably already knows all their tricks. But they do it anyway. The poor things, it’ll be over soon.

She recalls that one of Twilight’s friends is a Wonderbolt. Celestia will be there for Twilight to cry on her shoulder after they’re gone.

Foals cheer around her as Pinkie Pie pulls off her blindfold. Her aim was true and on the ground before her lies a broken pinata. The children rush in for the candy but she’s sure to get the lion’s share.

This time she is at Berry Pinch’s half birthday party. The foal’s parents said that was kind of silly but Pinkie said silly is good. She had to get in her party quota anyway. Featherweight’s party was canceled yesterday because he woke up with four ears and had to be taken to the hospital.

As they move on to the next game, she hangs back and starts in on her candy. She crams a chocolate bar in her mouth and before she knows it she’s eaten three. After friendship, there’s nothing better in all Equestria than candy.

Pinkie feels really thirsty and cotton-tongued lately. Drinking doesn’t seem to help. She won’t tell anypony. They’ll just tell her, Have a glass of water you dry-mouthed weirdo. But she’s tried that and it doesn’t seem to help and she doesn’t really want to go through the routine of explaining all this. Candy is worth it. Sometimes she isn’t sure if she means that.

Applejack has little luck. She spoke to all the agrarian ponies in town and no one else has bad crops. But she is sure it isn’t just her farm that is the problem. It’s pissing her off and making their apples look bad.

It isn’t until later at the town bar that her suspicions are confirmed. Sipping a beer, she is in what passes for deep thought when she overhears two mares at a table.

“Oh the poor mare, I just would not know what to do in that situation.”

“Awful thing. Terribly awful thing.”

“And so sudden - without warning!”

“Yes, that’s the meaning of sudden. Terribly awful thing.”

“I just do not know what I would do if my little Berry Pinch woke up with four ears.”

“Awful thing to have four ears. Terribly awful thing.”

Her head perks at that. Finishing her beer, Applejack makes her way over to the table. “Hey there, Berryshine?”

The mulberry mare smiles at her. “Oh, why if it is not Applejack! It’s been a while since we’ve gotten together! You should visit for scones,” she says strangely, as she says to all ponies outside her normal social circle.

“I am fine. I’m on the hunt. Now, did you say there’s a foal running about with two extra ears?”

“Yes, that is right. Poor little Featherweight.” Berryshine nods sympathetically.

“On his birthday too,” her companion chimes in. “Terribly awful thing for a birthday.”

Applejack thinks this might be a break. She asks, “Well how did it happen? Was he out rolling in fields, messing around with other ponies’ crop? I think somepony has been stealing my wheat too.”

“Nopony knows! He just got out of bed yesterday morning, and there they were. Four ears wiggling like the day he was born.”

“He is always trailing around with that Pinkie Pie and her little circus. I keep telling you gals she isn’t quite right.”

“I don’t know, she gives us more free time. She insisted on throwing a party today for Berry Pinch and if that gets the other children to be my filly’s friend then who am I to complain.”

“Awful thing, a mare not having enough time to herself.”

Applejack taps the table to get their attention back. “About Featherweight... have you heard of things like this happening to anypony else?”

“Well! This is the first I’ve heard about a colt with extra ears!”

The other mare remembers something. She says, “Now that I think about it, my sister said something about trouble at her birthing clinic. She went to petition Princess Celestia a week ago and hasn’t returned.”

“What was the trouble?”

“I can’t recall, but it was terribly awful.”

“I just would not know what to do if I had a birthing clinic undergoing trouble.”

Applejack's alert ears take it all in. So it is not just unnatural changes happening to farms. This is a greater occurrence spread all throughout town. She nods farewell to the mares and talks to a few other townsponies to be safe.

“Hey, that was a neat inverted corkscrew you did today. I’ve never seen one like it, you’ll have to teach me that sometime,” Soarin says with a grin.

Rainbow Dash grins back at the compliment. They’ve just left from dinner at a fancy restaurant, and the glow of a well done show still remains. They are all laughing and saying stupid things.

The only bit of trouble was when they wanted her to remove her ascot for the performance and she almost lost her cool. Other than that everything went perfectly. Dash is feeling greater than usual at a job well done and everyone agrees she has brought honor to the Wonderbolt name.

“I don’t know,” she teases, “that move requires a lot of finesse and with all those pies you’ve been eating...”

They are walking down a block, Rainbow Dash and Soarin hanging in the back. She rounds a corner and passes under a radio enchantment antenna.

So I said to him, get off my porch or pow! Right in the kisser!

“Hey, I may eat a lot but it gets worked off. I do routines.” Soarin sticks out his chest to show as he walks.

Rainbow Dash moves closer to him even though the crowds are sparse here and their group mostly has the sidewalk to themselves.

"Yeah,” she laughs. She thinks the way Soarin is looking at her is really cute. Persephone, I declare my love. Something has been building between them for a while. She’s feeling good and maybe—Persephone, I declare my love. She thinks she might have had too much to drink.

Tongs! Use them to cook your meals! Buy tongs at Don’s Warehouse! She stops. Why did she think that? Rainbow Dash really wants to buy tongs and isn’t sure why. Dinner was a lot of fun. She tries to remember how many drinks she had.

Soarin sees her look. “Hey, RD, everything alright? Your look is a bit too serious over there.”

Buy tongs! 10% off!

“Yeah,” she mutters. “Just... why are they 10% off?”

“What’s that?”

Not enough? 15% off!

Rainbow Dash feels several urges storming her. “Why are they 10% off? No, now they’re 15!”

Rainbow Dash doesn’t remember seeing any tongs at the restaurant. 20%! Tongs! Buy tongs! At the warehouse, buy tongs! Did that restaurant have enough tongs?Soarin puts a hoof on her shoulder. They’re getting farther behind the other Wonderbolts.

“What are you talking about?” He looks at her with concern.

He’s worried about her and Dash thinks that’s really nice. Pick up stuff! Pick up stuff with tongs! She tries to think but—Pow! Right in the kisser! Use tongs!

“Gaah!” Rainbow Dash socks him in the face. While he’s still reeling, she grabs him and kicks him in the gut. Persephone? Rainbow Dash pounces on the downed pegasus and squeezes his head. Tongs! Forgotten in the underworld—

She raises a hoof. “I declare my love!”