Last chants for the slow dance

Twilight spends the morning in the library again, but can’t get her thoughts focused. She tells Hard Time she is investigating, and spends her time reading paleontology books. She daydreams about bringing back the dinosaurs to roam the land and raising huge trees that blot out the sun.

She figures later in the afternoon she will check on Rainbow Dash and work out some lame two year sentence or something. Nopony is eager to question Twilight. If it all goes well, she might be able to wrap this up and go home tomorrow.

Twilight eats lunch and wanders back to her room. Lying in the center of her bed she finds a picture. It is Celestia on the beach in a blue bikini, with a caption that says ‘Wish For Sunny Days!’ There’s a bow on the top of the frame.

She puts it face down in the drawer of her nightstand. Twilight is not sure what kind of joke this is but it makes her guts twist. She wonders if she is being taunted. And when is the last time she was at the beach? There is something the other alicorn is conscious of that she is not.

She puts it out of mind with a cackle. She needs to get back to Ponyville or she will go crazy. She needs to get away from this room and Celestia and all the old things. Just break free and soar like an omnipotent eagle.

She decides she should just go see Rainbow Dash now.

Turning about, Twilight flinches to find Celestia outside her door. “Twilight! Do you think we should go shopping?”

She thinks Hard Time blabbed.

‘You’re such a wonderful person, but you got problems.’ That is one of the things that has stuck in Fluttershy’s head through the years. Her counselor had told her that when she was still in high school. She seems to make problems out of things that are not problems for other ponies. But this is a problem for everypony.

She can’t just leave everything up to Spike.

Fluttershy tends to the deformed fish and the sight hurts her. The poor things are another symbol of the corruption of this world. Maybe she cannot bear the weight of the world but she can at least do her small part. She feeds them and works herself up to it.

Fluttershy decides she will check on Spike, and while she is there, try to talk to Twilight. They will have some tea and talk together about it and she will convince Twilight not to kill everypony. Maybe what she just needs is for a friend to be there for her. That is what Fluttershy feels she needs.

She goes to the library. On the door is a hastily written note saying the library is closed while Twilight has gone to Canterlot. Despite her plans, Fluttershy thinks that is a good sign and the door is not locked so she goes in.

Spike’s electrocuted corpse lies there on the floor.

Fluttershy is too empty for tears.

She goes down to the basement and for the first time sees Twilight’s machine, buzzing and emanating strange blue swirls at the point. She sits down and just watches it. The waves are entrancing. The controls look confusing.

Fluttershy goes home. The bed is too good for her so she crawls into a corner. All she can think is that she should have been better.

At the biggest mall in Canterlot they go to almost every store. The alicorns both buy a lot of stuff. Twilight doesn’t want to buy much of anything, but that does not seem to impact her decisions.

“Twilight, you should buy that purple saddlebag. It would suit you.”

“Thanks, but I do not really want a saddlebag.”

“Are you sure? I think you should.”

“I would have no use for it.”

“But it matches your coat.”

“I see that it does. That is not really a benefit because if I were to buy a new saddlebag, I would want one in blue.”

“It is on sale. I am pretty sure you will have no trouble affording it. You should buy it.”

“I do not really think it is something I need.”

“Who can be sure?”

“There are probably better things to buy.”

“Right now, you are not wearing a saddlebag and I think you will be unhappy if you miss this opportunity to obtain one. This is a very nice saddlebag and it has gold clasps. I would know because I am the Princess of Equestria, but do not let that affect your judgement.”

“...Will they take a check?”

“I think they do! It will look so cute on you.”

Applejack waits outside the weather building. She’d hit a bit of a dead end. Yesterday’s attempt had not gone well and she learned the perils of big administration. They had tossed her out and filed an incident report.

But she’ll be damned if some snooty pegasi get in the way of her saving her farm and if anything, their behavior proved to her that the weather team is up to something. Why else would they need such security? They have the answers, she just needs to get to one of them away from the others.

So she has been hiding in the bushes all day because she does not know the first thing about a weatherpony’s shift. Applejack munches on apples meant for cider as she waits. They don’t want to tell her nothing? Fine, then she will just have to make one talk. She brought her rope.

She waits and waits yet nopony comes or goes. The sky is darkening when somepony finally exits the building—the same weathermare from yesterday. She walks down the path obliviously humming some trendy pop tune.

As she passes near the bush, Applejack leaps out with a raised hoof, striking the side of her skull.

The mare goes out like a light.

Applejack leans over looking down at the unconscious mare. Her heart beats rapidly in her chest and she cannot help but smile proudly. It feels good to have a righteous cause.

When they get back, Twilight is barely able to hide her frown. Her room is now filled with today’s purchases and she looks at them thinking she will now somehow have to bring all this on the return trip home.

She takes a bath to wash off the stink of the sun, but only gets a brief hour before she finds herself again summoned.

A guard knocks outside her door and announces, “Her Majesty requests your presence at dinner.”

Twilight sighs to herself because she thought they were done for the day. Celestia had never seen fit to say anything about dinner. Just dinner, she tells herself. She repeats her mantra. Just a few more days before ultimate power is hers. That sounds kind of like a villain thing to say, but Twilight knows better. She is princess of books and friendship, which are good things.

With trudging feet, Twilight is escorted to the dining room. The air is scented lavender and there are candles burning around the room. Tapestries are situated around the room depicting Twilight’s triumphs. A sculpture of her rests in a corner. The sun princess awaits radiantly, seated at the far end of a long dining table.

She gazes around the room at the tapestries. It does make her feel better about the day. Like she deserves this. Finding more of a smile on her face than she expected, Twilight takes the place set for her on the end opposite a smiling Princess Celestia.

Once seated, she pulls the chair forward and instantly regrets it, wincing at the screech of metal against the floor.

“... Chairs, huh?” she says.

Princess Celestia still smiles. She makes no comment until Twilight reaches for her water glass.

“Make sure to push in your chair all the way.”

“...Of course.” Obediently Twilight pulls her chair in further, ears prepared this time. They are sat far enough away that she has to speak up louder than comfortable.

“I am glad you could make it, Twilight,” Celestia grins. “Tonight we will be dining on artichoke hearts and spinach casserole.” On cue servants arrive and bring out their food, serving generous helpings to their plates.

Twilight does not believe she’s ever given Celestia the impression she enjoys artichokes. She stares at the green-yellow chunks in disdain. “That is very wonderful.” The tapestries do not seem so great anymore.

“That is a good word for it! Today has been a wonderful day, don’t you think?”

“We went shopping and bought a lot of stuff.”

“We did!” gushes the princess. “It was so much fun. I’m so glad to spend time with my faithful protege once more!”

If only she could zip the princess’s mouth like she did Spike’s. She can’t believe she used to fall for such things. But there’s no growing up, not under celestia. Ponies only grow apart. “Yeah, too bad we will not be able to tomorrow,” she is sure to say.

“I hope you aren’t stressing yourself over your friend’s investigation,” Celestia says knowingly.

She is not going to admit to anything. “Oh, just trying to get work done.”

“Yes, being a princess is difficult. Only we would understand each other. Ponies just can’t get anything done without our help.”

Twilight doesn’t say anything, instead going to take a bite of her casserole.

“Twilight, be sure to eat all your vegetables. Chew slower.” Her smile is overly large and repulsive and perfect.

Twilight spears her artichokes, following it with water so she does not have to taste. Twilight does not see a reason for anypony to be smiling so large. Except her, because of what she has coming.

“But you should not worry about anything, Twilight. I have utmost confidence in you. You are a mare of many talents.”

“That is true.”

“...Perhaps some of which can be explored tonight.”

“Like a test? ...If you want to give me a test I will need time to study.”

“You don’t need to study,” Celestia assures her. “I just think your mane looks really great tonight. Did you style it?”

“No. It’s pretty much the same I have had my entire life.”

Twilight silently listens to Celestia babble on about her mane as she finishes her dinner. Really she should tell the princess she hardly ever washes the thing, it is not so fascinating. She finishes her plate and stares at it and waits for an appropriate point to interject.

“Yes, I have a mane that is blue. Would you notice this, well, it appears that dinner is done. Thanks for the artichokes.” She rises from her seat, slowly distancing from the table. “Then I guess I will see you tomorrow, or not.”

“Twilight, I think you should come to my room with me.”

That is the last thing she wants to do and her nose wrinkles. “Oh, no, uh you know I’m pretty tired and should probably get ready for an early sleep... lots to do tomorrow.”

Celestia looks at her with doe eyes. “Would you not rather retire to my room? I think you would rather do that.”

Twilight tries to think of a way out. “Uh... uh, yeah,” her voice is a higher pitch than she would like. “Not really... we went shopping... bags to sort...”

“Come on,” Celestia nods toward the door. “We can go to my room and I will put on some light Phil Collins.”

Apparently she is not yet dead. Hours later Fluttershy wakes up to a stiff neck and sore back. It comes to her attention she does not remember the last time she had a shower. Probably smells and has corner crumbs in her fur. Probably is hideous.

If she is an illusion it is time to fade away. She wishes she could wake up. Fluttershy pretends Spike is still at her house and is smiling. He says to her, “I forgive you. You only did what you thought was best.”

She left him with Twilight. And Twilight killed him. There is nothing she knows and she is not best at anything. It should have been her who confronted Twilight. Now Twilight is in Canterlot and time is running out. They need a hero and that is not her.

But she can tell someone else… Rarity.

The more Fluttershy thinks about that, the more appealing it is. There’s little heroic about Rarity, but she does not like Twilight. Tell her about Twilight’s terrible plan and she will have no problem stopping it and saving everypony.

Burnt lavender pervades the air. A clipped concerto is playing, occasionally skipping, the record obviously worn. But this does not seem to bother the mare in the room.

In her existence, she had anticipated a greater amount of joy. It had never come to be. There is nothing left but her work. Not even. Rarity checks the time. She’s worked late into the night and now she can shove her dresses aside and get to her favorite part of the day. The part that makes her smile.

Rarity goes to her special rack and selects an intricate white victorian gown. She magically slides it onto herself and carefully does the laces. In her haste some are uneven, so she undoes and reties them. She chides herself. Everything must be perfect. Now is the time for the immaculate.

Suited, she elegantly steps her way to the bathroom. Here she washes off her makeup, her normal stylings, and using her most expensive products specially acquired for this purpose, applies it in a manner befitting royalty. In the manner of Celestia herself.

Crows feet are blotted out, wrinkles near her lips paved over and certain blemishes carefully erased.

She restyles her mane, which she has been brushing all day, lower and flowing and does her best to conceal split ends.

Rarity checks herself in the mirror and is pleased with her visage.

From the shrine in her closet is retrieved the center piece. Her crown, carefully forged from scrap metal and her finest jewels, glorious in its splendor. She ceremoniously places it on her scalp, wary not to unduly mess her mane.

There in the full length mirror stands an avatar of refinement and grace, Princess Rarity, prettiest princess in all the land.

For a while she simply does different poses, soaking in the sight. For the scrapbook she takes pictures of the best, each time looking better than the last. Near every night she does this and the scrapbook is long since filled, but it’s never enough for her.

When her film is used up, Rarity proceeds to the next part.

Entering the open floor of the boutique, where she has several more mirrors strategically placed, she gives her performance. Rarity trots a circle around the room in her most regal gait. Mare of dreams and idol to the masses, she gazes with contempt at imaginary onlookers. Filthy peasants desperate to bask in her presence throw themselves down before her. They kiss the ground she treads and for a while Rarity is young forever.

Her illusion is broken with the ring of her doorbell.

She thought she had the damn thing removed. Thankfully her curtains are drawn. Adopting her natural scowl, Rarity hides the tiara but keeps on the dress.

She opens the door and is met with Fluttershy.

Rarity stands there in a strange white dress. She looks very pretty. Fluttershy momentarily forgets what she had intended to say. She worries her mane isn’t how Rarity likes it and then she will be refused.

“Oh, Fluttershy, you’ve stopped by. Still going with your animal den?”

“Yes. I take care of them. I’m not doing a very good job with the fish.” Her hooves reek of heartache and she keeps them to herself.

“I don’t know if you can tell, but I am a bit busy at the moment. Why are you here?”

“Please, I need your help. There’s trouble.” She looks up pleadingly.

Rarity stands with mouth pursed, obviously contemplating what she will say. And Fluttershy momentarily remembers the trouble with talking to the unicorn. Rarity typically has lots of words, few of them any good. But it’s for the best. She will fix things.

“You had better be off then, you bring trouble wherever you go. I don’t want any on my doorstep.”

“Rarity, I’m sorry but this is serious,” she insists. “Equestria is in danger!”

“I didn’t think we still did that.”

Fluttershy knows it has been a long time since the last crisis, and they stopped the whole saving thing since losing the elements of harmony. She says, “This is important but doesn’t involve fighting anypony. I think. It’s just something really bad about to happen and you have to put a stop to it, you have to do the right thing! Everypony needs you.”

Rarity is disinterested. “I have the ability to enact justice but I decide not to.”

“But there’s an evil machine and it’s built by Twilight!”

“Twilight... this is something you are certain of? Not another of your little fantasies?”

“...I think so...”

Her head snaps and Fluttershy immediately knows Rarity’s been sold on it. The unicorn draws herself upright, stomping hoof with dramatic purpose. “The pretender-princess! After so long... Now is the time I come face to face with ruin.”

Fluttershy wilts. “Please don’t ruin me,” she says.

Rarity sees her distressed look. “I mean Twilight. Don’t worry darling, I’ve only mused about betraying you. Little more.”

“Oh.” She isn’t sure that is reassuring, but it must be. Rarity is going to fix things now.

Rarity gazes off to a distant point, cold smile crawling up her face. “Yes, Twilight Sparkle is going to get what has been coming to her.”

“Actually she’s in Canterlot. We need to save everypony before she gets back.”

“Of course. Well then, you had better show me right where this monstrosity of hers is at.”

After ambushing the weathermare, she managed to drag her to a storage unit the family rents in town. Nopony questioned her pushing a cart loaded with what appeared to be a sack of apples.

Applejack really knocked her out good. It is only hours later that the mare wakes up. She begins stirring in the chair that Applejack tied her to.

Applejack rubs her hooves, eager to get the show started.

“Finally ready? It is about time for you to wake up, you lazy pegasus.” Positioning the interrogation lamp for maximum discomfort, Applejack yanks the sack off her head.

“Huh, wha?” She slowly opens her eyes, squinting into the light. “The farmer?”

Applejack shifts into interrogation mode. She has to be subtle, she has to be a smooth operator if she’s going to intimidate this weathermare and get the goods.

Applejack circles her once, stopping in front of her. She gives her the famous Apple Stonewall. “We both know something around town is different than it usually is, and you’re going to tell me what it is.”

The pegasus glances down at her binds, struggling to move her wings but finding no give. She does not seem too distressed.

“Whatever.” She scoffs. “Well, over the weekend a new horseshoe stall moved into the market and that’s pretty different. Can I go home now?”

Applejack knows what stall she is talking about and they are third rate. She shakes her head. “No, no, you know that ain’t what I meant.”

“Could you be a little more specific?”

She frowns. No one seems to get her subtlety. Looks like she will have to try a different track, try to speak this city hooligan’s language. “Ya know, ya know... Now if you want to, uh... lay on me the skivvy and get some cheese off your boss’s back, well now, who’s to say I wouldn’t give you some of that back?” She watches the other mare’s reaction hopefully.

“...If you want an accomplice for something illegal, you should kidnap somepony else.”

Applejack squints her eyes, taking a small step back. “What? I don’t want nothing illegal,” she says in total disregard of her conduct for the past several hours.

The other mare leans back in her seat and looks back accusingly. “Then what are you trying to do here? Why did you jump me and tie me up? Did not you learn about the ‘Hooves off employees’ rule yesterday, the hard way?”

She furiously shakes her head. “I didn’t—Don’t think you can pull a fast one on me!” She stomps a hoof. “You’re the criminal and I’m asking the questions here. This is an interrogation.”

“You aren’t much of an interrogator.”

Applejack tries not to let the words get to her but it’s starting to dim her mood. It isn’t so fun anymore. Applejack knocks the lamp aside. “Forget it. This is stupid. Just tell me who put you up to pouring all that rain on Ponyville.”

“The rain,” the captive pegasus repeats, eyes bulging noticeably. “All this Dirty Harry crap is because you’re upset about the rain?” The mare shouts, rocking furiously in her chair.

“There’s something wrong with it! It’s mutating ponies and shit!” Applejack defends. This isn’t the reaction she was expecting. She pulls out one of her mutant apples and waves it around. “How do you explain this? That apple is messed up!”

“Get your weird crop out of my face!”

“Tell me about that rain!”

“I don’t even know! That’s my boss’s job, the chief forecaster. He said something about orders from high up. Made it sound like one of the princesses. Is that enough for you?”

Applejack jerks her head back. “The princesses?” She did not expect this to be a conspiracy from the top, but it makes sense. The city corrupts all.

“That’s what it sounded like. Now let me go so I can report your ass to the police.”

“Oh shoot… you’re not gonna involve the police, are ya?”

The mare stares at her. “You knocked me out cold, then kidnapped and bound me in a hidden location.”

Applejack quickly unties her so she does not get in further trouble with the law. Sending off the pissed weathermare, she says, “Now you just remember, I didn’t molest ya. I had the chance and I didn’t molest ya.”

Shaking her head, the mare rolls opens the storage door and flies out.

Applejack watches her go and thinks about this new information. The mutating crops, foals with extra ears, ponies going to Canterlot and not coming back. What could the princesses be planning? She needs to watch where she steps now. There is only one thing left to do.

If the lavender aroma was obnoxious in the dining room, here it is obscene. The whole room is stuffy and light glares off the framed pictures around the room. Twilight awkwardly squints and sits by the bed as Celestia goes to put on a record.

“Do you like this one, Twilight? It is one of my favorites.” The moody beats of In the Air Tonight wind through the air.

...I can feel it coming...

Twilight shifts nervously. Twilight is getting the distinct feeling things are getting out of control.

“Yes. That is alright,” she says. She tries to swallow her discomfort. Push it down deep in her darkest recesses and be cool, be anything, just don’t blow it. She’s put up with Celestia’s eccentricities many times.

“I knew you would like it. You are an alicorn of great taste.”

“So here we are listening to music. A great start to twenty minutes of quiet contemplation, followed by bed time.”

“Contemplation is good, Twilight,” Celestia laughs, “but there is more to life than that. So much more. I was thinking of a night a little more intensive and I am sure you have great stamina. You are the full package.”

“While that is true, I can think of someone better. Rainbow Dash. Maybe we could let her out of her cell and—”

The princess smirks, slinking towards her. “Just you and me tonight, Twilight. We have the world to ourselves.”

Twilight sees nothing good in that gait. Backing a step, she says, “Oh, but the world is not enough for me.”

“Of course. It takes much more than that to fill an alicorn’s insatiable appetite... but we can try anyway.”

...coming in the air tonight, oh lord...

“Well, like they say, you should not tempt fate,” she titters.

“Fate? The universe is empty and without fate. There is no grand plan, only ponies,” Celestia says taking a place by Twilight’s side.

Twilight stiffens as she is wrapped in a swanlike wing.

“And soon... it will be only the two of us,” Celestia’s voice huskily whispers with artichoke breath. She softly begins nibbling on Twilight’s ear.

Revulsion curls within her. Her body itches. She’s greatly miscalculated. When Celestia asked her into her room, Twilight did not anticipate things getting so intimate.

“Twilight Sparkle, you are so incredibly soft.”

“Goddess before the end of the week,” she mutters.

“What do you mean?”

Twilight tries to keep mind on the drill, working even now in her basement. “Uh, nothing. Don’t worry, let’s move on.”

“Oh,” Celestia coos. “Tell me.”

“Eh, just, no troubles soon.”

Celestia sighs into Twilight’s mane, chest pressed against the smaller mare. “No troubles at all...”

“Maybe we could go back to separate chairs and—“

...I know where you’ve been…

…It’s all been a pack of lies…

“Um, Pr—Celestia, about this song… any reason you chose a song with these lyrics?”

“Lyrics…” Celestia nuzzles, swept away in her infatuation. “Just enjoy the beat. It’s a love song.”

She feels Celestia’s raised heartbeat pressed against her. Her own heart is pounding for an entirely different reason. All she can smell is fucking artichokes.

She feels a pelvis grinding into her.

Twilight looks down to find Celestia sensually humping her side. Panic overtakes her face. She needs to defuse this thing now. Complain about a headache, maybe. She squirms and tries to wiggle out of the embrace.

The sun princess tightens her grip. “Twilight, don’t ruin the mood.”

Oh goddess, she’s pulled in even closer. Her face scrunches up. Don’t blow i—Those awful hips hump into her. Smothering. Being domineered by the other alicorn again and it doesn’t feel like being a princess at all.

A growl she can’t subdue rises deep in Twilight. Twilight forces out of Celestia’s hold and whips around.

“Aagh, never again!” She jabs Celestia with a hoof and shrieks, “I’ll drill right through you!”

“Drill? Is that a euphemism?”

She screeches. “Ugh, you perverse cretin! No! It’s a threat!” Twilight freezes.

Celestia stares at her. “Threat,” she repeats.

Her apex mind rapidly processes this latest turn. She’s brilliant, she can work through this. Talk her way out, that is what she will have to do. Celestia’ll believe any half-plausible story she feeds.

“...Why are you threatening me with a drill?”

Twilight dives out the balcony.

Applejack makes it back home. Before she does anything rash, goes accusing anypony of mass poisoning, it is always best to return to home base. In the living room she sees Applebloom up late and speaks to her.

“Quick. Applebloom, tell me, you know the ponies in town pretty well, right?” It isn’t that she needs help deciding, she just has to make sure the family is on the same page.

“Yeah, I mean I guess so.”

“You know anypony in town with a horn and a love of science, maybe purple, who could have ordered the weather team to cover ponyville in radioactive water?”

Applebloom stares at her, probably wondering why she had bothered asking but used to it by now. “Well, sister, with the description you gave, the only pony who fits that is Twilight Sparkle.”

“Yep, yep, Twilight Sparkle, that’s just what I was thinking. Glad you agree.” Applejack winks. “Guess great minds think alike, huh?”

Applebloom goes back to her cartoons. “If you say so.”

Just what she thought. Twilight under all their noses scheming against Ponyville, sabotaging the town’s hardworking agriculturalists. Contaminating their precious crops. Applejack has to protect the farm from Twilight.