To the sun and beyond:
It was a magical night.
Things may have progressed a little too fast, even for your tastes, but everything had worked out well in the end regardless.
“Damn, I wonder where she is?” you asked aloud, sitting on an expensive gamer chair while playing Dead Space 3 on your Xbox 360. It was currently on pause as you saw the great and expansive outer space with gleaming stars around the Aegis 7 planet. The scene reminded you of her…those sparkling teal orbs that formed the most beautiful pair of eyes you've ever seen in your life… the translucent mane with tiny stars that flowed in a nonexistent breeze… those majestic wings…
You sighed, “Well, the past is in the past. Let’s focus on here now. Where’s-“
*CLANKCLANKCLANK*
“Hot damn! Bobby, is that you?!” No response from your pet. You called for him again and received only the sounds of a breaking dish and a grunt for an answer. You rose from your seat, gun in hand, to discover what the hell that noise was and find who made it.
“C’mon, show yourself! I have a gun and I’m not afraid to use it!” you yelled at the door leading to your kitchen area. You stood alert for whoever might have invaded your house until you heard a small whimper and a squeak. It sounded girlish, so your best guess was that it was a woman.
'Wait a minute. This situation seems too familiar…could she have come back?' you thought as you turned the light on, revealing…
Yep. She’s back.
“Samantha! For the love of… just what in the damn hell are you doing?” you asked, relieved but annoyed.
Said girl stood up, offering you a sheepish smile. She was wearing a very small maid outfit. The outfit would have fit her nicely if it wasn’t backwards.
“Just…um…cleaning!”
“Cleaning.” You gave her a deadpan look as you lowered your gun. It’s WAY too late to deal with this shit now.
“Yeah! I mean look!” She pulled a used dish from the sink. “See this?”
“Yes, I ate chili there yesterday. Why’d-“
You couldn’t finish your sentence as she grabbed the dish with two hands and licked it from top to bottom a few times. She smacked her lips and hummed.
“Mmhmm. Delicious!”
She put the ‘clean’ dish with the others before smiling at you again.
“How long you’d been doing this?” you ask, mouth agape.
“Just a few months! Try not to change your alarm password, it wouldn’t be fun anymore!” She continued to smile at you as if nothing was wrong.
You think you’re going to puke.
<0><0><0><0><0><0>
You literally kicked her out of your home. She wobbled as she regained her composure on your grassy lawn.
“Love you!” she yelled with a wide smile.
“Go and eat shit you goddamn psycho! And leave me alone for god’s sake!”
“I’ve already done that! Try eating more fruit and less pizza!” You didn’t understand what she meant at first, but then you realized…
So that’s why your toilet seat always looked so clean yet felt so sticky. You feel that sick feeling rising up again.
“It’ll be healthier!” She cried, not caring about the weird looks from your neighbors next door.
You slammed the door shut and locked it afterwards.
“Heehee! No matter where you go, I’ll find you!” she yelled, making that irritating laugh of hers before leaving a moment later.
“Hot damn…” you walked back to your living room “I'll never go out with crazy chicks like her again. Why can't they all be more like-“ your words died in your throat as you took in the sight before you.
A large and powerful dark blue horn, a pair of beautiful but strong wings, a mane that looked like space itself ever flowing in a nonexistent breeze, a firmly shaped equine form, and of course, two crescent moon shaped cutie marks on her flanks. It was Princess Luna. The very Princess of the Night and Mistress of the Moon was sitting in your chair and staring at your hi-definition TV, her wings firmly planted around her sides. Everything about her was just as beautiful as you remembered.
“L-Luna?” you asked, nearly breathless. At the sound of your voice, she turned to you. Her face, full of concern, turned into one filled with happiness.
“Anon!” she practically screamed in a high pitched voice. Her wings unfurled in excitement and her horn glowed with a faint blue aura. A second later, her magic aura hoisted you in the air and into her awaiting forelegs.
“Oh, I’ve missed you so much!” She nuzzled your cheek, hugging you tightly. Her tail, wings and hindlegs joined her forelegs in locking you in her tender embrace. You were close enough to tell that her scent was the same, too. You couldn’t believe that this was really happening.
“Are you Luna? Like, the real one?” You separated from her for a moment to look at her face, her smile never faltering.
“Of course it’s me, my dear friend,” she said in her usual, regal voice, booping your nose with her hoof.
“Oh god, you’re really back…” You hugged her back, and she rested her chin on your head, humming softly.
“It fills my heart with happiness that you missed me as much I’ve missed you, my dear Anon.” You separated from her warm embrace and she fluttered her wings cutely.
“I did miss you, but why didn’t you come sooner? How long has it been? Nine months? Ten?”
“I’m afraid so. The night court has been…troublesome, so to speak, and I’ve been working nonstop to fix everypony’s problems.” She lost her happy mood and looked at the ground. Now you feel terrible to ask such a thing.
“Really? That sucks. So, um…”
“But things have turned out well these last few weeks. After your…‘donation,’ we registered an increase in the birth rate of the male population by 8%, according to the C.C.I.R.” she said, regaining her former cheerfulness.
“The C.C.I.R?” you asked.
“Canterlot Center of Investigation about Reproduction” Luna explained.
“Oooohhh,” you nodded.
“In fact, they were so happy about the news that they asked me to bring them more samples to work with,” she said, offering you a wink and a big smile.
“Oh. So I’m just a disposable sperm container? That hurts…” you replied with fake sadness, looking at the floor while wiping nonexistent tears from your eyes. Luna gasped covering her mouth with her hoof.
“Oh no, my dear human! I-I didn’t mean it like that! I, um…I’m truly sorry!” She reached out to you, hugging you hard with her forelegs and wings.
“It’s okay Luna! I was only joking!” you laughed, patting her back reassuringly.
“Why you!” She hit you on your side several times. “Don’t ever jest like that!”
“Hehe, alright. Again, I apologize for that joke.” You rubbed her shoulders and gave her an ear scratch; she relaxed visibly, leaning more into your touch.
“Hmmm~, you are forgiven,” Luna cooed.
“Glad to hear.”
You stopped your ministrations and Luna looked at you with glee. Everything about this mare made you feel kind of…
Special…
“I wish to ask you a question, dear Anon” she asked, eventually breaking the silence.
“Yes?”
“Where did you get this painting?” the Lunar Princess asked, pointing at your TV screen with a wing. “It’s very beautiful.” She turned to stare at the screen again.
“It’s not a painting Luna, it’s a videogame.”
“A videogame, you say?” She arched an eyebrow.
“Look,” you grasped the control in your hands and pressed the Start button, unpausing the game and putting the frozen images back in motion.
“See what I mean? Do you have these where you are from?”
“Indeed we do, but they’re made for the entertainment of little foals. But I have to say that this is way better than anything we have back home. I think the newest game out was about some kind of circle eating little balls and trying to escape from some colorful ghosts in a blue maze,” Luna said, tapping her hoof on her chin.
“Oh, you guys have Pac-man? Yeah, that’s a classic. But we’ve advanced quite far in the field of video games and entertainment since it first came out here. This," you casually motioned to the screen, "is called Dead Space 3. Care to give it a try?” You held out the controller to her.
“Um…it is safe?” She cautiously grasped it with her magic.
“Oh yeah, it's completely harmless. Now look, see that little grey lever? It’s multidirectional, try to move it forward.” She did as you directed and watched with amazement how the character on the screen walked forward in response.
“Good. Now try again, but this time in reverse.” She did, and the character walked backwards. She moved up and down repeatedly and squeed in excitement as Isaac went back and forth.
“Oh my! This is most fun!” She keeps it for some time until you cut her off.
“Okay Luna, you just got started, and these are just the basics. Now try pressing the RT button here.”
You couldn’t see how she managed to press the back button but it shows in the monitor how the character aimed his gun.
“Oooh~ pretty!” You loved how her eyes seemed to sparkle in awe with everything you teach her.
“Good. Now we’re going to go through the hard techniques, you up for this?”
“I’m as ready as I’ll ever be! This is so exciting!” she exclaimed with glee, and you couldn’t be happier for her.
*One hour later*
“Your Princess commands you to die!” Luna practically screamed at the screen as she shot several enemies down. She was a fast learner, that’s for sure. She managed to handle the controller with ease, pressing buttons back and forth, doing quite well for someone without any fingers. You’d admit that she is almost good as you are in this game.
Almost.
“Who is the one that cast a Necromancy spell upon them!? What’s do you want, you vile monster!?” Luna growled as she saw a legless necromorph crawling his way to her.
“There’s no magic in outer space Luna. They’re brought to life with the help of an alien virus,” you sipped at your soda and offered one to her as she snarled while killing more enemies “and their mission is to kill any living being so they can spread the virus and make more of them.”
“Whatever their mission is, I’ll destroy every single one of them!” She lifted the soda with her magic and sipped at it without taking her eyes of the screen. “What a pleasant tasting beverage. Please, tell me more about this this ‘coke’ juice and from what fruit it is extracted.” The Princess took a few more swigs and returned her focus to playing the game. You chuckled.
“It’s not juice, and it doesn’t come from a fruit either. It’s an artificial drink made with many ingredients and stuff,” your reply.
“Hmm...” She paused the game and made contemplative expression, like she’s lost in thought, just staring at the nearby wall.
“Something wrong, Luna?”
“I feel like I've forgotten something, but I cannot remember what it is. Something important…”
“Well, just think random thoughts until you find-“
“Goodness, Anon!” Her eyes went wide and her pupils dilated in shock. “We were supposed to meet with my sister more than an hour ago!” Her wings opened in full span, hitting you in the chin.
“Ow! Careful with those!” you cried as you nursed your chin where she hit you.
“No time for that! Come on, let’s go!” The agitated Princess tugged on your shirt with her magic, dragging you out of your living room as she conjured a portal in the wall.
“Go inside, quickly!” She ushered you forward, but part of you was a little unsure about this…
“Hey! Stop for just a second! How about-“
“No time!” Luna placed you in front of the portal, then turned around and bucked the living hell out of your butt with both hindlegs, sending you flying into the portal.
“My Buuuuuuuuuuuutt!!! $&-#ª!)@*\?+,º>!)@**\?$&-#ª!"
Author's Note
Edited, all thanks to Starblade.
You landed face first on a cold tile floor on the other side of the portal.
“Ugh...my head, my ass…got to remember not to get on her bad side…”
“Oh my, are you alright?” a soft voice asked.
‘Wait, that isn’t Luna,’ you thought. Startled, you looked upwards towards the source of the voice.
There, standing above you, was a tall, white alicorn wearing golden regalia and looking at you with concern. You noticed that everything about her seemed bigger in size than Luna: her wings, her horn, her height, even her mane. Speaking of which, her mane seemed to flow in a nonexistent breeze, just like Luna's. However, unlike the Princess of the Night, this alicorn's mane resembled that of a shimmering aurora. You tried to stand and introduce yourself to this beauty standing before you, but a great pain in your left buttocks prevents you from doing so.
“Um… Hello, my name is Anon from planet Earth. I would love to introduce myself more appropriately, but I seem to be having trouble getting up at the moment…”
“Oh! I’m truly sorry, my dear. Here, let me help you up,” she said in a motherly tone. After lifting you off the floor with her golden magic aura, she set you gently on your feet again. As an added bonus, the great pain on your butt disappeared instantly, too.
“Oh, um, thank you?” You dusted your pants to look more presentable before offering a mock bow.
“You're very welcome, and I apologize for not introducing myself earlier. Ahem, my name is Princess Celestia, co-ruler of Equestria. It is my duty to raise and lower the sun, as is my sister's with the moon. I believe you two have already met. Speaking of whom, have you seen her?”
“Isn’t she with you?”
“No, my dear guest, I’m afraid she has not returned just yet. Knowing her, she’ll have found something interesting and attempt to bring it back with her, like a puppy or a young foal," she replied with a giggle. Man, she has such a lovely laugh.
“In any case, If she's not here now, then she should be along any moment now.” She glanced at the portal behind you, and in less than a minute, Luna finally emerged from it carrying a small bag in her magical grasp.
“Greetings, sister!” The dark princess cried after closing the portal behind her and placing the bag on the floor.
“Good evening, Luna. Your re-encounter with Anon was eventful, I take it?” She glanced knowingly at you as she spoke, offering a warm, playful smile that put you at ease.
“Indeed it was.” Luna replied, turning toward you. “I took some things from your cooling unit. I hope you do not mind, Anon.
“Nah, it's cool. What’d you bring?” you asked, looking at her bag.
“Not much.” She opened the bag, peering at its contents. “Just six packs of that Coke beverage, something called ‘instant pizza’ and a jar of peanut butter. This is the preferred human food you spoke of, correct?”
“Yeah,” you sighed, placing your hands on your hips as you looked toward the ceiling, “...the ‘For Singles Only’ food. *heh heh*” Curiously, both Princesses looked at the ceiling like you for a moment, then at each other with raised eyebrows.
“So you’re single?” Luna asked.
“Pretty much,” you replied.
“Hmmm?” For some reason, the lunar princess seemed quite confused by this latest revelation. “But there was a female human in your living room who said she knew you, and spoke of you quite fondly from what I could tell. I met her after you went through the portal whilst perusing the contents of your cooling unit.” Now it was your turn to raise your eyebrows. Although that would explain her confusion.
“Really? That crazy ass girl…nevermind. Did she do anything to you?” You're no longer surprised how easily and often your crazy ex keeps invading your house. You're more concerned with how she would have reacted to Princess Luna.
“For someone encountering an alien being from another universe for the first time, she seemed surprisingly calm in my presence. She was wearing some sort of nurse outfit, holding a vial of some sort and tiny objects which I can only assume have some medical purpose. If she is not your lover, than who is she? What is she to you?”
"Her name is Samantha, and she's my ex-girlfriend," you replied, emphasizing the "ex" with a hint of disgust. The princesses don't say anything, but the curious, anticipating looks they give you gets the message across loud and clear.
You sighed. You didn't really like talking about...her, but given how close you had gotten with Princess Luna, you feel like you owe her and her sister an explanation. You told them to get comfortable, as you had a fairly long tale to tell.
"A few years ago, back when I had just graduated high school, my best friend hosted this huge party. It was a sort of last chance for him to party with all of his school friends, since he would be going to a university in a soon. It was there that I met her. She was quite a pretty girl, very calm and collected, too. I approached her and we got to talking. You know, the usual 'ice-breaking' small talk? Anyways, I finally worked up the nerve to ask her out on a date, and she accepted. We ended up being a couple for...how long was it again? I think it was three or four months, at least.
"In the beginning, things were going great between us. She was a lively girl, very funny and quite enjoyable to be around. But then she changed, so to speak, and not for the better. She became very clingy and territorial over me. She'd call me on my cell phone every minute I wasn't with her, say awful things to any girl that got near me, make a huge fuss if I didn't show up to meet her at exactly the right time, etc. In short, she became a total control freak.
"One day, I realized that maybe staying with her wasn't such a good idea and that we should see other people. Well apparently, she must have seen the writing on the wall, because things quickly grew from bad to crazy. For starters, she wanted to have lots and lots of sex. More than the usual amount, I mean. Admittedly, I wouldn't have had too much of a problem with that, but she kept insisting that I always use her condoms and never my own. I grew suspicious since there was nothing wring with mine, so I stole one from her when she wasn't looking. On a hunch, I filled it up with water only to find, much to my horror, that there was a tiny hole in the tip. She was trying to get herself pregnant with my baby so that I wouldn't break up with her. That was the last straw!
“The very next day, I told her it was over between us and threw her out of my house. I thought things would go back to normal after that, but didn't realize just how crazy she had become. She keeps coming back, breaking into my house either to convince me to take her back or to steal some of my stuff. I don't know what she uses them for, and honestly, I'd rather not think about it. What's worse is that she keeps stalking me and scaring off any girls that get near me so that I can't find another girlfriend to replace her. And no matter how many times I refuse her, she never takes no for an answer. That’s why I’m single now.”
With your story finished, the two alicorn sisters look at each other with matching expressions of shock and awe. Princess Celestia turns back to speak to you.
“My, I had know idea that things were so...troubling for you. Surely somepony like you could handle such an issue and move on?” Celesta asked, her once warm smile now replaced with a sad little frown.
“Yeah, I can deal with it, though she doesn't make it easy for me. It's bad enough I have her stalking me around all the time, but since I can't get a date, the only chance for relief I get is from my hand if you know what I mean…” you said as you wag your eyebrows.
“You don’t say…” Luna piped in. “Well worry not, my friend. You are safe and sound now, right here in Equestria”.
“Yeah, I could be if…well, you know...If I lived here, right?”
“You’re welcome to stay here for as long as you want,” Princess Celestia said as she wrapped a wing around your body, her feathers tickling your nose. The gesture was strange, but welcomed nonetheless.
“I’m sorry, but-” You interrupted yourself as a tiny, but very distinct, memory flew through your mind.
“Heehee! No matter where you go, I’ll find you!”
“On second thought,” you smiled, draping one arm over Celestia’s shoulder, “...where do I sleep?”
“Huzzah! Anon is staying! Oh this is glorious!” Luna cried, moving in close to nuzzle your cheek and give you a firm hug.
“Ack…yay…” you whispered, almost breathless.
“Sister please, you’re suffocating him,” Celestia calmly warmed, taking a hold of you with her magic and prying off from the cute blue menace. Luna pouted adorably.
“But sisteeer! I’m not done hugging him! He’s perfect for hugs!” She smiled widely fluttering her wings.
“Thanks…” you gasped, regaining your composure.
“Now Luna, he’s not a teddy bear for your to play with. Are you feeling alright?” she asked you, patting your back reassuringly.
“Oh, umm…” you coughed, “yeah, I’m fine.” Your voice still sounded a little raspy.
“Oh, my little human!” Luna rushed to you and embraced you yet again, though this time far more softly. “I’m sorry I brought harm upon you! Sometimes I do not know my own strength…”
“It’s okay, Luna. I’m fine, no harm done.” Actually, you think you have a few broken ribs, but there was no way you were telling her that. Seeing Luna sad would be the greatest pain ever.
You both stayed like that for a few minutes, Luna rocking you back and forth while humming a little tune. You could get used to this…
“So~” Luna cooed, “Are you ready for my special hug?” she breathed into your ear. A shiver of excitement ran down your spine.
“Luna!!” The white alicorn blushed. Her wings rose in full span. “Please have some decency! Our guest literally just arrived from another world, and you want to jump him already?” she huffed, lowering her wings to her sides, her blush never leaving her face.
“I, uhhh…” You didn’t know what to say as Luna hugged you a little tighter, smiling at her older sibling.
“And why not sister? It has been nine long months since that night we shared. My body aches for him,” her eyes turned half lidded “...and if I’m feeling generous, I’ll happily lend him to you…”
“What!? How dare you-“ She didn't get very far in her response before she was cut off by Luna.
“Ah, ah, ah, dear sister. I knew you were listening outside my door the last time I brought him here.” Luna pressed you face against her chest. It felt nice, though a part of you were sad that her teats weren't on her chest like human girls. Oh well. “I could hear moans from the other room. Were you clopping to us, dear sister?”
“I-I, umm, I...” Princess Celestia was at a loss for words as the smaller alicorn teased her. A lovely shade of red adorned her white muzzle. You couldn’t help but smile at the little scene.
“Yes, you were pleasuring yourself, Tia. It's written all over your face. The very thought of your little sister rutted by an inter-dimensional being turned you on, didn’t it?” she purred.
Celestia blushed harder before turning her head away, unable to look her sister in the eye anymore.
“Mmmm...oh yes, Tia. He made me scream so loud, and I came so hard.~” Her voice was gradually changing as she spoke, growing huskier and more sensual. She shivered visibly. “I think I’m getting moist now…”
‘Holy shit! Is she getting wet?’ You could feel a small, damp stain on your pants.
“And I think I’m not the only one…” Luna turned your head towards Celestia, whom was trembling lightly and had a tiny puddle of clear liquid on the floor between her legs.
“Well just look at that…it seems you are really excited sister. What do we do, fair Anon?” Luna asked you, her mischievous smile mirroring your own.
“Hmmm...given the circumstances, I think we should take her over to your bedroom and have a little fun.” Celesta let out an excited whimper at that last part, her ethereal tail whipping left-to-right.
“Mmmhmm. That’s sounds lovely, Anon. Why I'd-”
“Hellooooo!!” a voice bellowed from the hallways, causing both princesses to turn their heads toward the sound. Moments later, soft knocks could be heard against the door leading into the hall.
“Your highness…you have a visitor,” a royal guard said through the door.
“I wonder who that could be at this hour…”
Author's Note
Edited, all thanks for Starblade.
