My Sweet Dashie: I'm Not Lovesick

by Bronyparasite

1. I Won't Say It...

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It was a beautiful day in Ponyville. The sun was shining brightly in the afternoon sky, where not one cloud was seen. It was spring, so the weather was just a bit nippy. Most of the townsfolk were outside, enjoying Celestia's gorgeous day. Well, almost everyone.

Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie were inside a closed Sugarcube Corner, having themselves a milkshake race. Pinkie was in the lead, but Rainbow was closing in on her. Mrs. Cake smiled at the two, finding their antics amusing to watch, especially when her and her husband placed bets on who would win.

Rainbow’s face suddenly contorted as she received a brainfreeze from her large blueberry milkshake. While Pinkie’s eyes bugged out as she sucked on the straw of her extra large chocolate mountain raspberry explosion one. Soon after Dash’s brainfreeze, Pinkie finished by swallowing the last bit down the wrong pipe, causing her to hack in victory.

Behind the counter, Mr. Cake gave Mrs. Cake ten bits.

“Dang it! How is it that I keep losing!?” Rainbow Dash cried out in defeat.

Pinkie Pie snorted. "Isn't it obvious silly!? I walk, talk and breathe candy," Pinkie demonstrated by shoving a cupcake from nowhere into her mouth. "So ah'm bwettew equliped!" Pinkie added with a mouthful.

"Heh, okay. You got me there." Rainbow said, leaning back while recovering from her brainfreeze.

"So Dashie, wanna go do something superly-megalifically-scrumptiously-amazingingly fun!?" Pinkie asked excitedly, bouncing in her the booth she was sitting in.

Rainbow Dash looked at her watch and sighed, "Sorry Pinks, I got Wonderbolt practise in the next thirty-nine minutes." The pegasus apologised solemnly. Pinkie's hair flattened a bit. This was devastating to her. Rainbow Dash hadn't hung out with Pinkie in months, and even then it was scarcely. She'd be around for a week, hang out with her one day, then leave for the next week or so. Pinkie had only been hanging out with Dash for an hour, too. Pinkie's heart was shattered, but she put up a fake smile.

"Th-that's okay, it's not like we can't hang out later. Next week...?" Rainbow nodded.

"Yeah, and in a few more months I'll get my first vacation! I told you this summer they've decided to give each member the summer off. See ya later!" Rainbow said before flying off. Mrs. Cake watched sadly as Pinkie Pie slouched onto the table in front of her.

For the past year and three quarters Pinkie had been developing feeling for Rainbow Dash. At first she didn't understand it. A touch here, clinging on longer and longer there, until she finally figured it out. She was in love. But she kept it a secret from even her imaginary friends. Even from Mr. and Mrs. Cake. Even from the twins! She was in love, and it was driving her super-duper crazy!

Pinkie stood up from the booth, swatting her flat hair out of her face. The Cakes asked if Pinkie was okay, to which she replied with, “Yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t I be? I’m just tired.”

“You seem sad, that’s all.” Mrs. Cake said.

“I’ve got nothing to do. Surprisingly there’s been a decline in parties. I don’t like it, but what am I gonna do? Closest thing I’ve gotten to throwing an actual party was last night’s rave with Scratch.” Pinkie said. “I’ve got nothing to do today. Rainbow was about the funnest thing to do.” And the most desirable.

“You could ask one of your other friends. I know Twilight’s out doing Princessy things with Celestia in Canterlot, but what about the others?” Mr. Cake asked. Pinkie smiled bitterly. If only they knew…

“Fluttershy’s off taking care of some animals in the Griffin Kingdom. Something to do with a poacher attacking critters. Rarity’s working on her first suit for Fancy Pants. Applejack’s working on the farm. And Vinyl’s out of town.” Pinkie stated. ‘Not to mention everyone else thinks of me as the town's party planner only. They only want me to plan birthdays and anniversaries and such.’

“Oh… Well okay, if you need anything, just tell us.” Mrs. Cake said, to which Mr. Cake nodded happily in agreement. Pinkie’s smile grew.

“Thanks guys.” The Element of Laughter said, before heading to her room. Once in her room, the pink haired woman went in the bathroom and pulled a couple bottles of pills out of the medicine cabinet, one labeled ‘Easy Sleep’, while the other had magical symbols on the front. She quickly downed them with water from the sink, before Pinkie sauntered and plopped onto her bed.

Pinkie decided to sleep the day away.


Unfortunately, she ended up waking up around evening time. Thankfully, her hair had gone up in her sleep.

“You should follow her…” A familiar voice said. It was like her voice, but altered with a Prench accent. To Pinkie, this was Madame Le Flour’s voice.

Pinkie nodded, “Yeah, you’re right.” The pink woman got off of her bed with a fluid motion. “Alright Pinkie… Don’t make a habit of this. Dashie wouldn’t talk to you if you’re caught.” She said to herself as she got a backpack, and afterwards she locked the door to her room, and opened a window. She looked around and saw that no one was around, to which she jumped out and set herself into a crouched stance, her hands in front of her and pointed down. Sugarcube Corner was only a two story building, so doing a parkour roll would help reduce the hurt to her. After getting onto her feet, unharmed, Pinkie headed towards Rainbow’s workplace.

As she went, something was nagging her that what she’d find wouldn’t be to her liking.

And it wasn’t…

It wasn’t even when she arrived.

Pinkie froze. On a small lone cloud in the distance, Rainbow Dash was with a dark stallion Pinkie recognised as Thunderlane. The two of them were laughing and holding hands. Pinkie sprinted into an alleyway in order to get closer to the cloud, dread filling her lungs. Once she was close enough, she stopped and hid.

“Hahah! That’s hilarious! Did you ever tell him?” Rainbow asked the laid back pegasus.

“Nah, I never had the heart to tell him. And I don’t go around telling everyone that story.” Thunderlane said, smirking. Pinkie’s eyes narrowed as she watched.

“Well then, I feel privileged that you’d tell me.” Rainbow stated coyly. Thunderlane laughed at that.

“Well, I never said I don’t tell people.” He added, receiving a playful punch to his shoulder.

“Way to ruin the moment!” Rainbow chuckled. “Anyways, I had a great time on the date, Thundy.”

Pinkie stiffened up. Her eyes went wide as a pang of pain entered her chest. ‘A date? No… No, it has to be a playdate. Scootaloo and Rumble have been hanging out recently… Why do I know that?’

“I did too. To think that an actual Wonderbolt has time to spend with me.” Thunderlane joked, getting closer to her. It then hit Pinkie.

‘Wait… Didn’t she say she was going to work, not on a playdate, or even hanging out with Scootaloo!? No, no Pinkie… Don’t panic, she didn’t lie so she could sneak off to a date with this guy… Did she?’ Pinkie was having difficulty keeping herself from having a panic attack.

Rainbow and him blushed. ‘No.’

He took her in his arms. ‘Don’t let it be so…’

She leaned in closer to his face, and he did the same. Their eyes closed. And their lips met in a tender, passionate kiss. Pinkie’s heart shattered, and her hair flopped to it’s side. Tears escaped her eyes as she attempted to hold back her sobs.

They ended the kiss after a minute, once they required air. Rainbow and Thunderlane panted, smiling.

“Best day ever.” Thunderlane stated happily. Oh how Pinkie wished to be in his place.

“At least now I can say I’ve had my first kiss.” Rainbow said, a grin forming on her lips. Pinkie squeaked, but thankfully neither heard.

‘Her… Her first kiss? That was… No...’ Pinkie thought, feeling like her heart has a building fallen on it. ‘I couldn’t have been her first… Kiss… Could it?’

“That was… Amazing…” Thunderlane said.

Rainbow looked at her watch and swore. “Shit, I gotta go. I promised Scootaloo I’d help teach her how to fly today. See you later next Saturday?”

Thunderlane nodded. “Y-yeah, sure. See ya Dash.” Rainbow smiled giddily, before flying off.

Pinkie was unable to process this turn of events. She stayed hidden as she tried thinking about what to do.

‘She… She’s not mine… I don’t own her. It’s my fault that I didn’t act on my feelings sooner… And it seems she’s more into guys anyways. I… I need to let her go.’ Pinkie thought to herself. But a part of her didn’t agree.

‘What are youse talkin ‘bout!? She can still be yours!’ The voice of Rocky, one of her imaginary friends said in his Manehatten accent.

“H-how?” Pinkie asked.

‘You just need to get rid of the competition…’ Sir Lintsalot stated coldly in his sophisticated voice.


Thunderlane was humming to himself as he carried the groceries home. He didn’t care that his brothers babysitter charged by the hour, and that the date lasted three hours longer than expected. He was in pure bliss that his date with Rainbow Dash finished with a kiss. He’d do it all over again twice as long if it meant spending a bit longer with her. He took even longer to get the food for the next two weeks.

As he walked through a back alley, he heard the rustling of trash bags. “Who’s there?” Thunderlane asked. He wasn’t scared, there hadn’t been a crime in twenty years, and even then nobody was ever hurt.

A minute passed, before he continued on his merry way. Until…

Pinkie burst out of the garbage, a kitchen knife gripped in her hand. Thunderlane barely had time to react, but it was enough. He swung the bag with a carton of milk into Pinkie’s face, sending her flying into the wall.

“P-Pinkie!? What are you doing!? You could’ve killed me!” Thunderlane shouted, dropping his groceries and ran towards her to assist. When he got close though, she swiped the knife at him, cutting his shirt and drawing blood. “Fuck! What the hell’s wrong with you Pinkie!?”

Pinkie ignored his words and tackled him. “Just die, bastard!”

The pink haired woman brought her blade down, but not fast enough. Thunderlane left hooked her, knocking her off of him.

“Pinkie, what’s wrong!? I thought we were friends!” Thunderlane tried to reason with the crazed woman, but she just kept at it. Until Thunderlane grabbed her hand with the knife and stopped her right in her tracks. Then kneed her in the gut. There was a crunching sound, and Pinkie toppled to the ground.

Pinkie yelped in pain. She couldn’t move from her spot.

“Oh my Celestia! I’m so sorry! Let me go get help!” Thunderlane shouted in distress, turning around and started to go for help.

‘He’ll take you away from Dashie… He’ll ruin your life… He wants you to suffer… Kill him… Kill him… Kill him! KILL HIM!!!’ Mr. Turnip said in her head. Before Thunderlane could get anywhere, Pinkie leaped onto Thunderlane’s back and jammed the knife into the side of his neck. Thunderlane gave out a blood curdling scream of pain as she drove the knife deeper and deeper. Thunderlane, in his last ditch attempt to save himself, jumped backwards and put all of his weight into himself. A sod was sticking out of the garbage, which cut into Pinkie’s side. Thunderlane was dead before he hit the ground.

His body laid on her for the longest time. Pinkie was frozen, not believing what she’d done. Images of all the people who he loved, and who loved him in return. His friends, Blossomforth, Sassaflash, Flitter, Cloudchaser… Rainbow Dash. His brother, Rumble. And his parents. A mother, losing her child as she recovered from the death of her husband.

“What have I done…?” Pinkie asked herself, tearing up. She hugged the body of Thunderlane, whispering, “I’m so sorry… You’ll be missed…”

Pinkie pushed his body off of her, before pulling the knife out of him. But something overcame her. The woman stabbed Thunderlane again. And again. And again. Until she was too tired to continue. She stood up, covered with blood.

“But Rainbow’s mine… Even if she doesn’t know it...” Pinkamena said coldly.


Author's Note

Please, tell me what you think. I'm not that good with checking my story for problems, and my usual proofreader refuses to do anything with sex. I messed up during the chapter and started using the pony puns when this is a humanized story.

If you have any questions, please ask. I'd love to hear your comments and adjust my story to any criticism.

One of the reasons I made this is that I think there isn't enough Yandere Pinkie Pie. I think she and Fluttershy would be a yandere, so... Yeah. Another reason is that I wanted to start a clop story. I mean, a lot of awesome stories have stopped and aren't on hiatus.

Last words: That bottle with the symbol will be important later on! And don't worry about the up coming sex scenes. They'll be coming soon.

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