My Sweet Dashie: I'm Not Lovesick

by Bronyparasite

More To Do, Many To Kill

Previous Chapter

Pinkie stood in shock at what she’d done. Thunderlane’s corpse was stuffed into a garbage bag, still in that back alley. Pinkie gagged at Thunderlane’s pained expression. An image of Rumble, Thunderlane’s brother looking at her with a hateful expression flashed before her, causing the Pinkette to throw up in the nearest trashcan. Pinkie was thankful the only thing she had today was a milkshake, because anything else would be revolting.

“What have I done!? There had to be a better way, Thunderlane was my friend!” Pinkie cried once she was done vomiting. Tears welled up in her eyes. “What will Rumble think of me…? What will Ponyville think of me…? Wh-what would Dash think of me!?”

The image of Rainbow appeared in Pinkie’s mind. Rainbow’s face was filled with anger and disgust, and a hint of contempt. “What the hell’s wrong with you, Pinkie!? You killed my boyfriend!”

Pinkie gasped and curled up. “I’m sorry! He was going to take you away from me!” She sobbed aloud. “I love you!”

Rainbow sneered. “How could I ever love a murderer? Especially one who was my friend? You betrayed me, you betrayed yourself. I hope you rot in jail.”

“No! Please! I beg yo-” Pinkie froze when Rainbow disappeared. The realization of what was happening finally hit. Pinkie stood up, and gazed at the body of her fallen rival. An evil grin, far worse than any villain the Elements had ever faced were capable of, formed itself on the heroine. A smile of sick love and a demented happiness. “You won’t have my Dashie…” She knelt over Thunderlane’s body, and whispered to him. “And you’re only the first.”

Pinkie got back up and walked away, picking up the knife and hiding it under her shirt. She needed to pick up some things.

Other than a few weird/concerned looks from about five ponies, Pinkie was able to get to Sugarcube corner with relative ease. She swiftly entered her Party Cave and opened a secret compartment behind one of the file cabinet via pushing it to the side. Inside was a chest of… Curious items. A black trashbag, several spray cans, and fuses to her party cannon, but the first two were the things she wanted.

She grabbed one trash bag and the red spray can and ran back to Thunderlane’s body. When she got back, she opened the trash bag, and dragged her ex-friend into it. She then pulled out a red spray can out, shook it up, before painting over the blood stains. She made it look good, even though she was hurting. Multiple balloons covered the walls and floors.

Pinkie beamed at her work, before tossing the spray can to the ground and picking up the garbage bag. She then made her way back home slowly, making sure this time that no one saw her…


Rainbow Dash sighed as she finished taking a shower and throwing on a clean black bra and underwear. She walked out of the bathroom and flopped onto her bed. She enjoyed being free like this on her weeks off. Rainbow thought of Thunderlane as she sunk into the bed, wings spread. Her drifting off was interrupted however when her phone rang.

“Ugh… Who’d call at a time like this…?” Rainbow grabbed her iPone from her nightstand and looked at the time first, noticing it was half past noon. “Oh.” She then looked at the caller ID. Unknown. Rainbow narrowed her eyes, wondering who was calling her, hitting the green button and placed the phone to her ear. “Who’s this?”

“You remember me, Dash?” A familiar male voice said, chuckling darkly.

“Dumb Bell… What do you want?” Rainbow growled.

“What’s the matter Crash, I thought we were cool…” Dumb Bell sneered from his end. Rainbow gripped the phone tighter, but didn’t end the call on acount for wanting to know how he’d gotten her phone number.

“How did you get my number?” Dash snarled, glaring at the wall in front of her.

“Heh, same way I learned about your mother's overdose…” Rainbow froze at that. How did he know? She hadn’t even told Fluttershy. Dumb Bell continued, “Now, if you don’t want this information getting out, I suggest you come over to Cloudsdale and meet with me at the gang’s old hangout.”

“What do you want from me?” Rainbow growled. Dumb Bell laughed.

“What every stallion wants from a pretty mare.” He laughed, and Rainbow paled.

“Why sh-should I do this? I can manage with people knowing something of my past.” Dash stated, feeling more confident of herself.

But Dumb Bell only laughed. “Yeah, I’m sure you won’t get discredited by the Wonderbolts. They won’t think you use steroids since your mother was a druggy.” He added sarcastically. Before Rainbow could even process it, he hung the phone up.

As Rainbow sobbed on her bed in turmoil, she had no idea that Pinkie Pie had been watching and listening in from just outside of the athletes bedroom, hiding in a small black hot air balloon.

“So, he’s threatening my Dashie… I think it’s time I visited my cousin in Cloudsdale and see this bastard…” Pinkie placed a hand on the window she was looking into. “Don’t worry sweetums, I’ll make sure he’ll never bother you again~” The pink haired woman sighed contentedly, pulling her stethoscope away.

As she descended, a voice in the back of her head screamed for her to stop, but Pinkamena Diane Pie was too busy thinking to care.

“My sweet angel needs a valiant knight to save her from this fiend…” Pinkie cooed to herself, giggling to herself.


Dumb Bell laughed as he exited the Fillyhouse Stripclub with his friend, Hoops.

“Damn it, Dumb Bell, I’ll never be able to show my face in there again…” Hoops sighed. He was wearing a white tank top with shorts.

“Eh, that place was a dump anyways.” Dumb Bell said. He was wearing a black dress shirt and white khakis. He looked around until he saw a, in his words ‘hot’ pink haired woman standing on the street corner across the road, wearing a cyan blue dress. He smirked. “Hey Hoops, I’ll see ya later. I have something to do.”

Hoops looked at the woman, then smirked. “Heheh. Go get ‘er, man!” The two split up, and Dumb Bell walked towards his “prey”.

Once at her side, Dumb Bell smirked and placed his hands in his pockets. “So, what’s a gorgeous girl like you doing out here alone?”

The woman looked up from her watch and smiled. “Oh, my date showed me up. He was supposed to meet me here a half hour ago…”

“Oh? Well, maybe I can take his place?” Dumb Bell added, his smile brightening.

“I don’t know…” She said, looking away.

“How about a name?” Dumb Bell asked. “I’m Dumb Bell.”

“Pinkie Pie…”


Dumb Bell burst into a hotel room, making out with Pinkie in a heated passion. Pinkie’s legs were wrapped around his waist as she returned in kind.

Kicking the door closed, Dumb Bell hopped onto the bed, laying Pinkie Pie underneath him. He broke the kiss, and began to undo his pants.

Meanwhile, Pinkie undid her dress until she was nude. Dumb Bell began moving towards her, already erect. The woman smirked and halted him with a hand.

“Let’s do some warm ups~” She said seductively, licking her lips. “Lay down on the pillow and get ready to be rocked~”

Dumb Bell nodded, and laid down, but not before groping one of her average sized breasts. Once he laid down, Pinkie opened a drawer… And pulled out a knife and a rope.

Before Dumb Bell noticed, Pinkie Pie hogtied his hands and legs to the bed’s posts on either side.

He was trapped, and at her mercy.


Author's Note

Next chapter: Fun Time~!

Holy molly, that took longer than expected! Sorry for the wait, the next chapter will come out sooner.

It's shorter than I'd like it, but I felt y'all waited long enough.