Radiotrophic

Know what pisses me off? Everyone thinks this whole stupid county just cleans itself. Nobody stops and thinks “Wow, this place is really clean, I bet someone’s out there keeping it that way.” No, they just think it’s because of how special and pure they are. The ended up getting magic, too, so I bet they’re going to keep blabbing about how awesome the school is until their little mortal mouths fall off. This is how cults start.

No, the reason there’s no crime around here is that we make it that way. It’s almost like the horrible darkness-eating Sirens are actually good for something. Huh, imagine that.

It’s not even filling.

This time I was on a night bus making laps around the city, where that Crystal Prep school is. Those people are at least a little bearable. In fact, I always thought the city was pretty liveable. People grew up vicious and knew how to put up a fight, there. I was waiting on the bus to go to Sharp Sticker’s little street-kingdom, when I saw him get on in front of me. If I hadn’t kept my hoodie on he would’ve squealed and ran, but it hides me just like it did thirty years ago. (Unlike most assholes, I actually take care of my things. I know, shocker.)

This wasn’t official business, we weren’t getting gas money out of it, but they left the drug dealers to me. Probably because they thought it’s not good enough for them. They didn’t get that the market’s shooting up with new, nastier substances all the time, probably because I was the only person in the world who bothered to watch the news. It used to be that people like Sharp Sticker had to set up dens and compete with all the losers who burn plants, but they’re getting better, especially here. I might have a small hand in that, just in case I’m ever absolutely starving or everything else in this boring world turns out hunky-dory.

But Sticker killed someone, and I’d decided it was over for him. I’ll take a few ruined marriages and broken friendships, but when someone spits up their soul they’re useless. I make sure there are legends about me whenever we come back near the portal, so all the violents behave themselves.

And we always do find ourselves back here, no matter how much I wish we didn’t because Adagio never wants to leave. It’s the rift Beardo banished us through, he let a little bit of magic drip through to tease us. I hope he’s dead by now.

This was one of those times Adagio wasn’t letting us move on. She’s always dragging her feet around the portal, even though the environment sucks as hard as any other town. And there’s not even any good poison or rotten fruit, but hey, it has burgers, and weaksauce greasy heart-clogging food’s everything a Siren needs in her diet, right? Right. It’s been so long since I had a meal, some days I swallow a few bottles of snake oil pills so their lies’ll take the edge off.

This time her excuse was that we had to make sure the rest of the students weren’t immortal too. The second-easiest way to tell would’ve been to put our car in a lot and take a dip in the ocean for twenty years, but that would make too much sense for her. I’m lucky the city’s nearby, or else I wouldn’t even be able to work on my gem and I’d have to spend years worrying about shit like curfews and bills.

I’d never lost my gemstone before. When we got banished, all the magic we built up in a lifetime turned into a handful of rocks. I asked myself why forever, until I decided it was a joke. It put us somewhere we could walk around, half-starving, with powers that would rend the water turned into novelty necklaces. It set up our ascent, where we could’ve transcended magic and made this world the way it was supposed to be -- and then we were brushed off by a princess we never even knew existed. It let us think we could make this place home after so long, and then it took that hope away from us. That mirror was the most evil thing in this world, and it was the one thing we didn’t have enough power to break, and I couldn’t even sing the feelings out to make it all okay again.

We’ve all been through lean times, all three of us and a lot of the time not in the same place, but this was getting worse and worse, and Adagio wouldn’t budge, and Sonata wouldn’t go anywhere without her, so if I relocated it would’ve just been me in the middle of nowhere, and no way to find them again.

I never wanted to feel that way. I’d promised myself I’d never lose it, so I’d never feel that way. Sonata lost hers all the time, as often as we lost her. That was never supposed to be me. That was what I had left.

Whenever the bus stopped it jerked forward, and I had to keep myself from hitting the seat in front of me. They were all pointy. I could’ve just jumped forward a little, ripped Sticker’s head back by the ponytail and ripped it out in a moment. I could’ve eaten everybody there, even the ones who’d try fighting or running away. Everyone’s done something wrong before. It might even have snapped Adagio out of it and got her to start moving again. But even if I were just that heartless, it wouldn’t have mattered much anyway. These people were losers, not tainted, there’s a huge difference no one in this world can get in their head.

That’s the other thing that pisses me off - we call it “evil”, but almost none of the negative energy in this place is even close. No one who wants to take over the world makes an honest try, most of the arguments happen over misunderstandings, noble wars replaced all the good kind, none of the monsters are classy, and the number of tyrants sinks every day.

It’s the same for Equestria, apparently - somehow they beat Sombra and Discord. If we’d known there were still ponies in Equestria we would’ve tried harder to go back. Everything’s probably just as lame there as it always was, so going back would be like trading starvation for thirst. At least here I’m not going to die and sink a trillion spans so my sleeping monster daddy can eat me.

Eventually, on one of the stops, Sharp shoved himself to his feet and I followed him. No one looked at me, even the driver, and no one called after him to say hey, watch out, someone in a hood’s coming after you! I keep waiting for someone to do that, but I never do.

Walking after him, I saw a ton of tiny catches, little alleyways I was cultivating, letting it be their decision to maximize the effect. At least, most of them. I went back for a couple of the ripe ones afterwards, but I let them live.

Sticker wasn’t paying attention to his back. He was walking straight ahead, ignoring me when he turned corners, not listening for footsteps. He didn’t want to look suspicious, because looking suspicious is just so abysmal compared to getting killed.

Heh. I remember feeling that way, back when we thought we could get hurt here. We didn’t notice that the emptiness in the air was because the magic was missing, and we thought we’d live a few dozen moons on our own.

Then Sonata made her shitty paintings, we climbed a mountain to find Adagio after her husband King Something tried poisoning her, we picked through the plague cities, I ruled a country from the shadows, we all became duchesses, the other two started a coup, and I faked my death for the eleventh time and everyone still bought it even though I left clues that time - and we figured out that this place is going to melt around us no matter what we do. Good or bad, nothing we do lasts a trip to the ocean here.

Sharp finally looked over his shoulder when we were in an alley, a shortcut to a safehouse he liked. The look on his face was delicious.

Know what I like? Anglerfish. They’re a little piece of home that doesn’t suck.