Friendship Materia

Chapters

Chapter 1: The Mare in the Moon
Chapter 2: The Ticket Master
Chapter 3: Applebuck Season
Chapter 4: Griffon the Brush Off
Chapter 5: Boast Busters
Chapter 6: Dragonshy
Chapter 7: Look Before You Sleep
Chapter 9: Bridle Gossip
Chapter 10: Swarm of the Century
Chapter 11: Poison Joke
Chapter 12: Fall Weather Friends
Chapter 13: Winter is Coming
Chapter 14: Call of the Cutie
Chapter 15: Winter SOLDIER
Chapter 16: Element of Jealousy
Chapter 17: A Midwinter's Night Dream
Chapter 18: Hearth's Cooling Eve
Chapter 19: Winter Wrap Up
Chapter 20: Suited for Success
Chapter 21: Feeling Pinkie Keen
Chapter 22: Sonic Rainboom
Chapter 24: Heart of the Everfree
Interlude 1: The Longest Day
Chapter 25: Stare Master
Chapter 26: Show Stoppers
Chapter 27: A Dog and Pony Show
Chapter 28: Green Isn't Your Color
Chapter 29: When Yaks Attack
Chapter 30: Siege Broken
Chapter 31: Over a Barrel
Chapter 32: Nanaki
Chapter 33: Railroaded
Chapter 34: A Bird in the Hoof
Chapter 36: Secret of My Excess
Chapter 37: Meteorain
Interlude 2: Owl's Well That Ends Well
Chapter 38: Ticket Remastered
Chapter 39: Four's a Crowd
Chapter 40: Party of One
Chapter 41: The Best Night Ever
Chapter 42: The Happiest Ending
Interlude 3: Interluded By Fireworks
Chapter 43: For Want of Harmony
Chapter 44: Return of Harmony
Chapter 45: Lesson Zero
Chapter 46: Twilight Eclipsed
Chapter 47: Luna Eclipsed
Interlude 4: A Changeling Perspective
Chapter 50: Sisterhooves Junction
Chapter 51: Sisterhooves Social
Chapter 52: Sisterhooves Rematch
Prelude: Getting dressed for the occasion.
Chapter 8: Truths and dares
Chapter 23: Plunder Seeds
Chapter 35: Cutie Mark Chronicles
Chapter 49: Awkward Dinner Conversations

Chapter 1: The Mare in the Moon

"Oh my. Um, stop please, everyone, umm. Excuse me, sir? I mean, no offense, but your rhythm is just a teeny-tiny bit off. Now, follow me, please. A-one, a-two, a-one two three-" the butter colored pegasus spoke quietly until she cut herself off, as the birds she had been trying to coordinate suddenly scattered into the air. "Oh no! Come back!"

"Sorry, I must have scared them off," I said, apologizing with an embarrassed look. "I didn't mean to." All I had done was approach, but that was often enough for birds. I heard a voice of a woman speaking, soft though it was, and had come to investigate, only to find a talking pony. A talking winged pony. With a butterfly brand. "They sounded pretty good. I'm Cloud Strife, by the way. What's your name?"

I couldn't hear her the first time, but with my legendary SOLDIER attention to detail I managed to barely make out her name the second time. "Nice to meet you, Butterfly," I said.

"What are you, if you don't mind me asking," she inquired very softly. It was a good thing there wasn't any other noises, or I wouldn't have caught it. The birds were slowly returning, so I might really have my hearing abilities tested soon with this one.

"Me? Oh, I'm a mercenary. I do whatever needs doing, whatever someone's willing to pay to have done, anyways. Oh! Did you mean race? I'm a human," I said. It hadn't occurred to me at first that she wouldn't know what a human was. I didn't know what she was either, but I hadn't wanted to be rude about it. Fortunately for her, mercenaries aren't easy to offend unless you skimp on their payment. And that goes double for ex-SOLDIERs like myself.

"Oh, that sounds nice," she said a little louder. I didn't often hear mercenaries referred to as nice, but I didn't care to correct her. Besides, I could be nice. Especially since her voice reminded me a bit of Aeris'. "Tell me all about yourself? Perhaps over some tea?"

We spent a few hours in her little cottage, having a pleasant conversation. It bothered me a bit, as I knew Tifa was in a dangerous situation. But I didn't have any way to get there and do anything about it. I would have to have faith in my childhood friend to get herself out of it, perhaps with a bit of help from Aeris. As protective as I was of the flowergirl, I knew she was used to danger and tougher than she looked. Honestly, that Don Corneo character was probably fucked, and not in the way he wanted to be.

By the end, she knew a lot of things about humans I rarely even thought about, and I had a basic understanding of the varieties of colorful ponies that made up the local population.

"You'd better get back to your birds," I suggested. "Weren't you trying to conduct them or something?"

"Oh, yes! We need to rehearse for the Summer Sun Celebration," Butterfly said, starting to head back out.

"Sounds good. By any chance could you recommend a seamstress for me? This dress is not fitting quite right," I inquired.

"Oh yes, of course. Rarity at the Carousal Boutique will make it perfect, I'm sure," Butterfly suggested. She gave me directions, and sent me on my way. As I started on my way, I noticed a purple unicorn trotting away, a floating quill checking something off a floating scroll as she walked. But she didn't seem important at the time.

Travelling through the town full of ponies I got a lot of curious looks, but most ponies just kept walking. One in particular pointed at me and gasped the loudest, deepest gasp I had ever heard from anyone before running away. Funny, she didn't look scared. I wondered what that was about, but she was already out of sight. I would have to wait to see what became of it later.

Finally, I had my eye on the prize, so to speak; I saw a building that looked very much like a giant carousel, almost certainly my destination. As I approached though, a blur of motion caught my peripheral vision. Acting fast, I started to dodge backward. Seeing it wouldn't be quite enough to avoid the multicolored projectile, I reached out my arms, deflecting its course just enough for it to shoot past me, leaving a multicolored streak in its wake. It came to a stop, revealing a blue pegasus with a rainbow colored mane.

"Woah! You have some serious moves!" she complimented, darting in close in a controlled manner this time, and offering a hoof.

After a moment's uncertained, I closed a fist and bumped it lightly against her hoof. "Cloud Strife," I introduced. "exSOLDIER. Hands for hire."

"Rainbow Dash," she replied. "Future Wonderbolt. And all-around awesome mare. We should hang out sometime, Cloud. Oh, shoot! That reminds me, I've got a job to do!" She blurred up into the sky, bouncing around from cloud to cloud and scattering my namesake out of view leaving a perfectly clear sunny day. Butterfly had mentioned that pegasi managed the weather, but seeing it in action was something else.

While Rainbow caught her breath after a job well done, I headed into the boutique, idly noting the same purple unicorn passing by with her checklist.

"Oh, darling, that simply will not do," a voice said as I strolled in. Turning, I found another unicorn, this one white furred with a violet mane. She was quite pretty, I could tell, despite the species difference.

"Rarity, I presume? Butterfly recommended you as a seamstress. You see, I wasn't able to get this dress quite properly fitted, as I'm sure you see," I explained.

"I can see. I can't say I've worked on anyone of your... body type before, but this is a simple enough matter. Though you really ought to liven it up a bit, add a few sapphires to match your eyes," she began.

"That sounds great, but I must admit I don't have any money with me. I was brought here rather suddenly against my will, and didn't manage to grab my wallet. I'm happy to work to repay you, whether directly or earning what I owe you," I offered.

"What? Oh, you poor dear, I didn't realize. Well, here, let me at least adjust your dress for you, it's the least I can do," Rarity offered.

"That's quite generous of you," I pointed out. "But I don't forget my debts. I owe you one."

"Nonsense, darling," she insisted, as her magic lifted my clothes from me and she got to work, letting out some seams and taking in others.

I got her chatting as she worked, talking about fashion. I guessed it wouldn't distract her too much from her work, and it didn't. I studied her every word like it would be on a test. I wasn't used to being a woman, but I knew women needed to know these things, and so I did my best to cram for it, getting at least a start. I was sure it would be easy to get Rarity on the subject again in the future as often as I needed.

"Excuse me," came a voice from the entrance. "Just here to check on the decorations."

"They're on the table, darling," Rarity called back.

"Okay," the voice answered, followed shortly by a checkmark being added to a scroll. I had a guess as to who it was, though we hadn't been introduced yet. "Let's go, Spike."

They were long gone by the time I walked out, enjoying the much improved comfort of the better fitting silk dress. Rarity had added a few stylistic flourishes as well, adding to the debt she insisted I didn't owe her.

"Even if the dress is free, I still need some work. Do you have something I could help you with for the time being?" I inquired.

"Sorry, darling, I'll keep you in mind. But you should try Sweet Apple Acres. They always have plenty of work on their farm. Hard work, and I'm sure it will simply murder that lovely dress of yours. So perhaps take it off when you're working?" she suggested.

I blushed. I had noticed the ponies didn't usually wear clothes, but humans usually did. "I could use something a bit sturdier for working in. Once I can afford it," I said.

"We'll talk later, dear. Now it's getting late. Perhaps you should stop by Sugarcube Corner for a snack?" she suggested.

"No bits," I lamented.

"Oh, I'm quite sure that won't be a problem this time. Now get along, darling," she insisted. She knew something, but it probably wasn't bad, so I let it go.

Sugarcube Corner wasn't hard to find, and there was a pony with a cowboy hat and an apple brand heading that way.

"Excuse me," I asked. "Do you work at the Sweet Apple Acres?" It seemed a reasonable guess.

"Sure do," the mare replied. "What can I do for you? Looking to buy some apples? Sorry, I don't have my cart on me at the moment."

"No, no. Actually, I was looking for work. Rarity suggested your farm can always use a hand or two," I answered.

"A hand? Oh, like a hoof. Got it. Well, if you're willing to work hard, we're glad to have you. Now, tomorrow's a holiday, but after that just follow that road out of town and you can't miss it," she explained. "Just ask for me, Applejack," she added, offering a hoof.

With a firm bump, I agreed. "Cloud Strife. I'll see you there." Picking apples wasn't a dream job, but it would get me paid, and I desperately needed an income.

We both headed into the bakery, and both jumped in surprise as a cannon went off right next to me, dropping confetti over the two of us.

"SURPRISE!" yelled the pink mare who had run off earlier. "Welcome to Ponyville!" she welcomed, repeating the text of the banner that hung overhead.

"Phew! I didn't think I could hold in that secret much longer, Pinkie," Applejack said. "I was just lucky she was already heading this way without any prompting."

"I knew she would get here. It was in the script," Pinkie said, ignoring my questioning look. "Anyways, have some cake, everypony. That means you too, Cloud!"

Looking around, I noticed Butterfly sitting in a corner, quietly enjoying a slice of cake. Rainbow Dash was near her, mixing with guests I didn't recognize. Rarity joined us, not long after, admitting to knowledge of Pinkie's intent to surprise me.

I couldn't keep track of all the other ponies' names as I learned them, but all were friendly, and I could hardly say no to the free food. Still, I didn't stay that long, slipping outside and resting against the wall as the party carried on.

"Is something the matter?" Butterfly asked me quietly after a few minutes. I hadn't heard her come out.

"My friend, Tifa, was in a dangerous spot when I was magically whisked away here. It just doesn't feel right partying right now, when I don't know if she got out of it okay. I'm sure she did. She's tough. But I don't actually know. I wasn't there to help," I said.

She nuzzled up against me, and I reached down to lay a hand on her head, both of us appreciating the gentle touch.

"Well, if you say she's tough, then I'm sure she'll be okay," Rainbow Dash added as she zoomed out to hover before us. The few other ponies whose names I knew were out with us soon thereafter.

"Well, I'm sure somepony can find a way to send you back," Applejack said. "Don't you worry none."

"In the meantime, let's enjoy some wacky hijinks!" Pinkie exclaimed.

"We'll make you feel right at home as long as you're here, darling," Rarity offered.

"Oh thank goodness! I finally found somepony!" the purple unicorn said, catching her breath from her run.

"What's the matter?" I asked seriously, approaching swiftly. I could tell by her expression that this was something serious.

"Nightmare Moon is going to escape at dawn!" she declared. "If she gets loose, she'll bring in an era of eternal night, unless somepony can get the Elements of Harmony and activate them to stop her!" She lifted a book from her saddlebag in that weird way unicorns did, and opened it to a page showing a number of round stones with symbols carved on them.

"Kindness, Laughter, Generosity, Honesty, and Loyalty," I read aloud. "And the sixth element is unknown? Any idea where to find them?"

"They're in an old castle, deep in what is now the Everfree Forest," the unicorn said. "But I'm new in town and don't even know where that is."

Pinkie gasped another of her extremely exaggerated gasps.

"It's not that strange. I'm new here too, though... is it the forest next to Butterfly's cottage?" I asked. "If so, I do know the way there."

"It's Fluttershy, Cloud," Rainbow Dash pointed out. "Get it straight."

"Oh, sorry. She said it so quietly when we were introduced, I misheard," I apologized. "Why didn't you say anything sooner, Fluttershy?"

She mumbled something too quietly to make out.

"Well, that's better," Rainbow said, satisfied.

"Alright then, I'm going. I don't suppose anyone has a sword I can borrow though," I said.

"Woah there, partner. I can't let my newest farmhoof head out there without backup. We're coming with you," Applejack said. "We're stickin' to you like caramel on a candy apple." Every pony but Twilight nodded and hmph'd in agreement.

"Especially if there're candy apples in there," added Pinkie. "What? Those things are good."

"Alright! I'll be at the library. Just bring the Elements there when you return, and hurry! It's already sundown, you only have until sunrise tomorrow! I'll be researching anything I can find on the Elements to help you activate them," Twilight said. Agreed, we parted ways. One thing I knew from my time in SOLDIER; a good researcher was a critical ally, just not on the front lines.

"So, have any of you been in here before?" I asked as we started into the forest.

"Of course not," Rainbow Dash. "Because nopony who has ever come in here..."

"Cut it out, Rainbow Dash," Applejack said firmly.

"...has ever come out!" the pegasus concluded.

"I've been in more dangerous spots," I boasted. "Even recently. Though I admit I wasn't unarmed at the time."

"You don't think we'll need weapons do you?" Fluttershy inquired. "Oh, I really hope not..."

"Don't worry, I'll protect you from anything scary," Rainbow and I said simultaneously. We glared at each other for a moment and then broke out in shared laughter as Pinkie interrupted us by calling out "Jinx!"

The tension broken for the moment, we continued forward. The cliff face shifted a bit under our combined weight, giving us pause. "Lookout, everypony!" Applejack said, as the pegasi took flight. Their launch, however, made the situation less stable for the rest of us, causing chunks of rock to break off. However, we were far enough back that we didn't lose our footing. "Whew, that was close. A little too close for comfort. Let's head down to lower ground. Carefully," she suggested.

With a bit of effort, we found a way around to lower ground and continued onward, deeper into the forest. A deep growling noise made its way to our ears from the distance ahead.

"Sounds like a fearsome beast," Rainbow said, looking for a target to charge. "You ready, Cloud?"

"I was born ready," I said, balling my fists and looking for the oncoming threat.

Fluttershy said something quietly, barely tickling at my perception.

"Well... come on then. Where is this creature?" Rarity questioned, getting a little impatient. "Are we under attack or aren't we?"

Fluttershy said something a bit longer and slightly louder.

"What's that, Fluttershy?" I asked, still scanning the woods around us.

"I said, I think some poor creature is hurt. Let me take a look. I'll be okay, I promise," she said.

"We've got your flank," Rainbow promised, as she and I trailed after her at a distance, letting her put her talent to work. Shortly, she had found a dangerous looking creature, a lion-like body sporting massive wings and a deadly scorpion-like tail. It roared out a warning, but rather than heed it, Fluttershy waved us back.

"There now, widdle kitty, no need to be afraid. Fluttershy will help you right out," the pegasus said sweetly as she approached. I had been tensed to charge in, but I realized that was making the creature tense. I was more of a danger to my new friend being ready to protect her than if I wasn't. So I forced myself to relax, forced a casual smile. Rainbow looked at me questioningly before trying to do the same. Despite the failure in sincerity, it seemed to put the creature at ease enough to show Fluttershy its paw, where a massive thorn was stuck. Gripping it with her teeth, the pegasus pulled it free, releasing the creature from its pain.

Continuing on, we reach a shadow copse of trees which surprisingly set Pinkie off giggling. "What's so funny, sugarcube?" Applejack questioned.

"Just look at all these spookie faces!" Pinkie said, bounding from tree to tree. In the dim light of the moon and stars, the shadows did make for some amusing caricatures of tooth-filled maws and massive claws.

"Yer right," Applejack giggled. "I'm sure some of these would be perfect for our Nightmare Night maze."

The laughter proved infectious, spreading from pony to pony. I managed to keep it to a grin, myself, which was already dangerously infringing upon my cool, tough gal motif.

We came next to a river. It seemed nice and calm, but as we approached, a massive serpent rose up from within. "Halt! Who trespasses upon the domain of Steven Magnet?" he demanded.

Finally, my element. A fight. One I was terribly underprepared for. But I was determined to win anyways. There were six of us, twice the size of any squad I had ever fought in. And with her innate magical powers, I was sure Rarity would have something great up her... well she wasn't wearing sleeves at the moment, but that horn of hers could surely do something. She stepped up...

"This is the domain of the fabulous Steven Magnet?" she inquired. "Oh, I feel so ashamed to have come without my camera. Those beautiful scales, the perfectly coifed mane. The incredible mustache!"

"Oh, you're too kind, too kind. You really are a fan, are you?" Steven inquired.

"How could I not be, faced with such beauty?" Rarity continued.

"Oh brother," Rainbow commented, nearly giving away the game as she and Fluttershy flew Applejack and Pinkie Pie over the river while he was distracted.

Rarity kept the compliments going for a few minutes while the pegasi returned. Fluttershy carried me across in her hooves while Rainbow Dash waited impatiently. "Now then, I really must go, but we must meet again!" Rarity said, before letting Rainbow Dash dart her across before the serpent could react. "Goodbye now," her final words drifted back to him before he sank beneath the waves, subdued.

At last we came in view of the ancient castle. Naturally it was on the far side of a chasm, spanned by a rickety old bridge. WIth a probing touch of my foot, I sent the bridge tumbling down into the chasm. "Alright... are you two ready to carry us across one more obstacle?" I inquired.

"No need, I got this," Rainbow Dash said, before blurring off with a rainbow contrail. She returned seconds later with the end of the bridge which had followed. Applejack secured it with some rope I hadn't realized she was carrying, and I tested it again.

"Alright... it seems secure this time, but let's not take chances. One at a time. Rainbow, be ready to dive in if you're needed," I commanded.

"Roger that," Rainbow saluted reflexively. We made our way across, one by one, safely. Despite the lack of further incident, everyone was quite glad for Rainbow's vigilant overwatch.

"Does anypony feel like this was all too easy?" Pinkie Pie questioned.

"I bet it would be a lot harder if we had waited until that Nightmare Moon character had already broken free," I pointed out. I know we were already racing against time, quite late into the night, but it would have been much harder with someone trying to actively stop us."

"That's true, darling," Rarity agreed. "Now let's just get this over with so we can get back to civilization. I'm desperately in need of a spa day as it is. And your poor, poor dress."

"This looks like the elements from the book," I commented as we entered a side chamber with something vaguely resembling a stone planetarium. "Let's grab them and go."

Each pony took one of the stones, leaving me empty handed. "There's only five of 'em," Applejack said. "Aren't there supposed to be six?"

"Well, what about this?" I said, reaching for the larger sphere in the center, where the sun should be. When my hand touched it, I froze in shock. I knew this feeling. This power. It wasn't shiny, or a convenient size. Perhaps it wasn't refined. But it was materia. I could tell.

I struggled to lift it free. It was massive, and seemed set into the stone more strongly than the others. My pony friends came to help me, all five laying hooves on it to push it free. When they did, it started to resonate, glowing and spreading its glow into us. I could feel the power, and the knowledge of the power, flowing into my heart, mind and soul. It was materia all right.

Well, okay. It was different than any materia I was used to. As I accessed it with my mind, it taught me how to activate it, and the others... they were a set, and all worked together. I focused my will, my eyes glowing as the mako within me reacted, and beams of light lanced out to each of the other element stones, dissolving the stone and revealing crystal shards within. Those closed on my friends before transmuting, becoming necklaces with central icons matching their brands.

And lastly, my element landed on my head, taking the form of a tiara. Of course. The one I left behind in my own world's dressing room simply had to be replaced.

"What an odd shape," Rarity said, commenting as she pointed a hoof toward it. "Ours all match our cutie marks, but yours. What is that even supposed to be?"

I took the tiara off and turned it to look at it. It was my buster sword. I laughed, before putting it back on my head. It fit me, already, despite being horrible aesthetically. If it cut down my foes, I could forgive it for that.

"In just a few moments, our town will witness the magic of the sunrise, and celebrate this, the longest day of the year!" the mayor began. "And now, it is my great honor to introduce to you the ruler of our land, the very pony who gives us the sun and the moon each and every day, the good, the wise, the bringer of harmony to all of Equestria..."

"Ready?" I asked the mares beside me quietly. They nodded with determination in their eyes and a glow in their new jewelry.

"...Princess Celestia!" the mayor called out expectantly.

There was a pregnant pause, as everypony awaited their sovereign's arrival.

"This will be good," the librarian commented with a conspiratorial grin.

"Remain calm, everypony, there must be a reasonable explanation!" the mayor insisted.

"Ooh, ooh, I love guessing games! Is she hiding?" Pinkie guessed.

"Pinkie darling, you know what's coming," Rarity pointed out.

All around us ponies gasped as a dark figure appeared, a massive horse with wings and a long, pointed horn. She was covered in imposing armor, annoying me with the reminder I lacked my own. But now at least I had one weapon.

"Oh, my beloved subjects," Nightmare Moon began sarcastically. "It's been so long since I've seen your precious, little sun-loving faces."

And then we blasted her with a rainbow of devastating magic. She became much smaller, lighter in fur tone, and her armor vanished, but she was still there.

"Watch out, she's entered her second form!" I warned. Boss monsters were usually harder in their later forms, I knew, so I began charging up a second blast.

"No, wait!" another winged, horned, horse demanded as she floated in on a beam of light, as daylight suddenly, blindingly, filled the sky. "Nightmare Moon is no more. This is Luna, my sister!"

Pinkie Pie played out a celebratory ditty on a kazoo. I fidgeted uncontrollably, wanting so badly to spin my sword around before dramatically sheathing it. But the only sword I had was a tiny emblem on my tiara, far too small for the maneuver.

Pinkie's Welcome Back to the Light Side Party for Luna was well received by all the residents of Ponyville but one. Their new librarian, whose name I learned to be Twilight Sparkle, seemed to be having a bad time. Finally, I approached her.

"What's wrong, Twilight? With your dedication and rapid research, we were able to save the day. You deserve as much credit for this win as any other member of the team," I said.

"I know that, and I'm glad we saved the day. But I'm a bit torn. All of my friends are back in Canterlot. But there's a whole new library here full of books, several of which I haven't read," Twilight explained. "And if I go back, who will run the library?"

"For a few bits, I can keep the library safe until a new librarian can be appointed," I offered jokingly.

"Thanks for the offer, Cloud, but somehow you don't seem like the type to be able to properly file the reference section, much less the rest of the shelves," Twilight said. "Thanks though, you've really helped put things in perspective. Anypony can make friends, but only a select few can keep a library like this one in tip-top shape."

"Glad I could help, Twilight. Still, you shouldn't dismiss the power of friendship. I miss the friends I left behind, sorely, but I'm still glad to have made a few new ones here. Look around, and I'm sure you'll find some good ponies that you enjoy spending time with," I encouraged. Sadly, the words fell on deaf ears. She was already reading a book and tuning me out.

"It's not you, it's her," said the little reptilian creature I hadn't noticed by her side.

Chapter 2: The Ticket Master

I stared into the mirror at her naked body. It was strange. The female form was quite appealing to me, after years of secretly lusting after various women around me like any young man, just past puberty. But now those hormones were gone, replaced by a whole other set, one which didn't see the appeal of a female form. I had yet to see how my body responded to an attractive man, of course, but unless I developed a thing for quadrupeds that was unlikely to be a problem anytime soon.

A hand mirror, sorry 'hoofmirror', helped me get a look at myself from a few other angles, exploring parts of myself no woman had bared for me before. I gave only the lightest, briefest of touches before deciding against exploring myself too much, just yet. Especially when the steam from the shower fogged up the mirror, and reminded me that I was wasting water just to cover my activities. I set the hoofmirror aside and stepped into the shower at last, putting the water to the use it had been provided for.

When I had finished cleaning myself and dried, I slipped on my dress, dirty and torn as it was from the adventure, and headed out. I really would need to rely on Rarity quite a bit in the days ahead. Hopefully the mare would get a hold of some stronger material soon.

"Morning, sugarcube," Applejack greeted, as I made it into the kitchen. "How'd the guest bed treat you?"

"Not bad, I've certainly slept in much worse," I pointed out. "It's a bit short for my height though," I admitted. "Thanks again for the hospitality."

"No problem, sugarcube. We're happy to help you get on your hooves, especially since you'll be working with us for the time bein'," Applejack stated.

"Eeyup," her older brother, Big Macintosh, confirmed simply.

"Now then, let's have some breakfast and get to work," the mare said enthusiastically.

Picking apples was hard work, and rather boring. Fortunately, I was quite prepared for this. My SOLDIER days had included plenty of abject boredom for weeks on end, and in a lot of ways this was always more engaging than guard duty tended to be. Guard duty was mostly about deterrence: because a guard was present, most people wouldn't do anything that would require the guard to respond. So being bored was often a result of success.

And while the transformation had made me a bit weaker, I was still a strong, athletic woman. I could climb the trees to pick off the last few stragglers that managed to survive one of Applejack's bucks, or carry the barrels into the barn when they were full. I tried, once, to see if one of my punches could match the effects of Applejack's kicks, but only managed to bloody my knuckles a bit. I bet Tifa could do it. I bet I myself could do it with the flat of my buster sword. Or with some more practice fighting unarmed.

"Hay!" Rainbow Dash shouted, as she fell out of a tree along with the expected rush of apples, some of them landing on the winged mare. "I was trying to nap there!"

"Why don't you get off your flank and do an honest days work, instead?" Applejack suggested.

"I did do an honest day's work already," Rainbow Dash said. "Yesterday," she added more quietly after we glanced up at the sky, noting the clouds getting out of formation. It was strange to think of such normal looking weather as clearly wrong, but I knew it was out of place for a pony town.

"Git along now, RD", Applejack insisted. "We need our weather in tip top shape while it's growing season."

"If it's growing season, why are we harvesting already?" I asked, not afraid to admit I knew less about farming than the my host.

"These here are the early harvest," Applejack explained. "They keep ponies fed with fresh fruits while the bulk of the harvest finishes ripening out past yonder hill," she said, pointing a hoof. I nodded along, accepting the explanation, and got back to work.

"Cloud, Cloud, Cloud, here!" Pinkie Pie said urgently as she hoofed me a sealed envelope before rushing off, seeking other ponies to give similar objects to. I watched her go for a moment, stopped in my tracks, before opening the envelope and reading the contents. It was an invitation, a simple one, to a party. "Please attend Twilight Sparkle's Belated Welcome-To-Ponyville-Party Party," the card read, giving the location in the library and the time as that night. I laughed, realizing that with all the parties going on since I had arrived, the new librarian had been left out. I kind of wondered if she preferred it that way, though. She seemed about the least friendly pony in Ponyville, from what I had seen.

Which wasn't saying much. The ponies were hard not to make friends with. I waved to a few of the ones I recognized by sight but not by name as I finished my trek to the Carousel Boutique.

"Come in, darling," came the answer as I knocked, and soon I was within. Rarity recognized me instantly, of course. "Oh, it's you. Welcome back, Cloud. Oh dear, your dress really isn't holding up. Are you sure I can't convince you to leave it off at work?"

"You could convince me to wear something sturdier," I answered. With a jingle I brought attention to my new bit bag. "I need your services rather urgently. I know this probably isn't enough, but I've got more coming and I can lend a hand to help you, if you'll accept that for part of the cost." It wasn't as glorious as being a mercenary in the sense I was used to, but Ponyville was a rather safe place most of the time. I wasn't going to make enough bits deploying violence, even if I was properly equipped for that.

"Hmm, well I'll have to see what you can do, darling. Much of my work is very delicate, and takes a steadier hoof than most have," she pointed out. Despite her doubts, though, Rarity began to show me the ropes, and found I was quite adept at accurately cutting fabric with her scissors. The tools were quite difficult for earth ponies and pegasi to wield, often requiring standing on two hooves while wielding the tool in the other two. Unicorns such as herself had a massive advantage with their horns, of course, but I managed quite well with my hands. Besides, I had something of a talent when it came to blades, if I do say so myself.

A knock reached her door while we were working. Seeing we were busy, Rarity's little sister, Sweetie Belle, called out "I'll get it," before trotting down to make good on her offer. "Hello?"

"Pretty..." came a young male voice from beyond, making Sweetie Belle blush awkwardly, before continuing on awkwardly. "Here, a gift."

The filly took the offering, something small and golden, and looked it over. "Oh, wow. Are you inviting me to... with you?" she asked.

After a brief delay, the male spoke up. "No, wait. I only have the one... still, you go. You can tell me all about it when you get back? I'm sure you'd have a better time there than I would."

"That's so nice of you," Sweetie said, offering a light kiss before thinking things through. "Actually, do you mind if I give it to my sister? I bet she'd have an even better time there."

"Oh, uh, sure," the male said, sounding a bit put out.

"Don't worry, I'm still very happy you gave it to me. Maybe while Rarity's out we can hang out?" the filly offered, before turning. "See you then?"

"Yeah... see you," he said before the door was closed between them.

"Who was that, Sweetie?" Rarity called down from where we were working.

"Oh, it was the little dragon that lives with the new librarian," she said as she trotted up the stairs. "I think he was entranced by my beauty," she added with a giggle. I found it odd how clearly she could speak with her mouth full like that. The younger unicorn couldn't lift things with her horn, I had come to realize, and was carrying a little golden ticket in her mouth. "Here you go sis!"

"Is that? It cannot be!" Rarity declared, rearing up on her hind legs, only to faint away dramatically. Without thinking, I caught her, lowering her the last few inches to the ground gently.

"What is it?" I questioned, looking at the offending ticket, now set on the work table.

"It's an invitation to the Grand Galloping Gala," Sweetie said.

"Only the premier fashion event of the entire year!" the fashionista said, proving she wasn't unconscious, despite appearances. "Only the one place in space and time where everypony who is anypony will be, all at once. Cloud! Sweetie Belle! We haven't a moment to lose," she declared as she lost several moments getting to her hooves. "We must create... the perfect dress!"

We quickly set aside what we were working on, and immediately got to work on what Rarity would wear to the ball, the three of us working tirelessly at the elder unicorn's direction. Mentally I made a note: my debt to Rarity, the one she refused to acknowledge in the first place, was now cleared.

"Oh! Even better," Rarity thought aloud as we worked, the idea seeming to force her to change gears on her design. "This is where I will meet him."

"Him?" I dared to question. I wasn't surprised by the direction of her answer, though.

"Him," she confirmed. "I would stroll through the gala, and everypony would wonder, 'Who is that mysterious mare?' They would never guess that I was just a simple pony from little old Ponyville. Why, I would cause such a sensation that I would be invited for an audience with Princess Celestia herself, and the princess would be so taken with the style and elegance that she would introduce me to him, her nephew: the most handsome, eligible unicorn stallion in Canterlot. Our eyes would meet, our hearts would melt. Our courtship would be magnificent. He would ask for my hoof in marriage, and of course I would say, 'Yes!' We would have a royal wedding, befitting a princess, which is," she giggled, "what I would become upon marrying him, the stallion of my dreams."

I couldn't resist giggling myself, despite the awkward introspection in its wake. "You certainly dream big, Rarity," I pointed out. "If there's one thing I know about dreams, its that you need to give your all to accomplish them. So let's finish this perfect dress." It meant my own wardrobe would remain limited a little longer to the single, silk dress I had brought with me, desperate for repairs as it was, but I wasn't going to a ball.

I awoke in the early hours of the morning, confused at first about my surroundings. My training kicked in, and as motionlessly as possible, I took in my situation, evaluating for the presence of enemies. There were none, of course. There was, however, a blanket draped over my sleeping form, itself lain upon a stylish couch. In some ways, it was more comfortable than the guest bed at the Apples' home, particularly that I had enough length to stretch out my legs all the way.

On the low table before me was the opposite of an enemy. The source of a debt, perhaps. A simple note lying atop a small pile of clothing. I blushed as I realized the top item was my own silk dress, cleaned, repaired and neatly folded. Rarity had taken liberties, to be sure, but I wasn't going to complain, especially with how common outright nudity was in their society. The next item was a new dress, one made of a thicker material, cotton perhaps. It looked like it would endure a bit better than the silk, while still looking attractive in a more casual way. The last looked to be overalls, far sturdier and well suited to farm work, though they would benefit from a shirt to go under them.

Cloud darling,

I simply must apologize for carrying on so last night. With the weeks to come before the gala, I cannot in good conscience set aside the needs of my customers nor my dear friends. Please accept this promotion to the front of the line as my apology to you.
And since I know you like repaying your debts, you owe me 78 bits for the labor and materials, after factoring in your help today. No rush to repay me, darling, I know you're good for it.
-Rarity

Chapter 3: Applebuck Season

I was running a bit late by the time I arrived at Sweet Apple Acres. I didn't see Applejack, but I did see Big Mac. "Have you seen AJ?" I asked him, to which he gave his customary "Eeyup," while gesturing up a trail with his head. I thanked him as I ran off, not wanting to waste any more time.

When I crested the hill, the sound of tree-bucking reached my ears, and I was able to find the mare in question fairly quickly among the trees. "Sorry, I'm late. Need some help?" I asked.

"Nope. Like I told Big Mac, I've got this," Applejack said. There was an obvious tone of stubbornness in her voice that surprised me. I wondered what had transpired to get her riled up about this.

"You're sure? Because I'm here now, and I could certainly use the bits, and I know you could use the help," I pointed out. Plus I was wearing my nice new overalls. If I was going to dress like a farm girl, I was going to farm, damn it.

"I'm sure, but thanks for the offer, sugarcube," she said. "I'm sure somepony back in town will need your help with something though."

I nodded, and started to head back toward town. I paused when the earth began to shake under me.

"STAMPEDE!" Rainbow Dash shouted from her vantage point in the sky. Without thinking, I began to sprint toward the noise. Ponies were starting to panic as a herd of cows thundered into their village. The cows towered over the ponies, much as I did, the difference being that they were massive quadrupeds, while I merely had a more upright shape. The cows were even a bit taller than me. I was able to outrun them, for the moment, but I knew I couldn't keep up the pace for long.

"Hya, hya!" I shouted at them, closing in toward the leaders as we approached a river. There was a bridge crossing the water, but it wasn't wide enough for the herd, and would never have allowed them all to cross safely. Seeing me got them to start to turn, the whole group following them into a grassy clearing. My job wasn't done yet, though, and I had to push myself harder, circling the group.

When the front runners caught up to the back of the group, they began following them, their herding instinct kicking in. The stampede became a spinning maelstrom, safely contained for the moment as I finally slowed to a stop, catching my breath. Standing near the river at the time, I caught my reflection, my 'mako eyes', glowing much brighter than usual, but slowly fading. Strange. The glow had been notably absent in the mirror since I came to this world, part of the change wrought by the magical brassier, I had assumed. But here it was plain as day, plainer perhaps, as it was bright enough to make out even in full sunlight.

Looking up, I noticed the cows had finally come to a stop, and the leader slowly approached me now.

"Thank you, stranger. If you hadn't turned me, we would have all tumbled into the river!" the cow said.

I blinked a few times, forcing my mind to simply accept the fact that cows spoke here. Ponies did, so why not cows too? Why not bunny rabbits? Really, why not? Angel bunny was clearly as intelligent as some ponies, and communicated well enough in his way, but couldn't speak a word. The only way to survive this world, mentally at least, was to roll with the punches.

"You're welcome. Just did what I saw needed to be done. Now what started all of this?" I asked the cows' representative.

"Begging your pardon, stranger, but Mooriella here saw one of those nasty snakes," she said, the herd jumping a bit at the mere mention of it. "And it just gave us all the willies, don'tcha know."

"The name's Cloud Strife," I introduced, standing up straighter as I proudly pointed myself out with a thumb. "And I'm glad to help, but maybe next time try to steer clear of the town?"

"Daisy Jo, glad to meet you," she returned, offering a hoof for me to fistbump. "We'll be more careful next time, promise! Come on gals!" They headed back out of town at a more sedate pace, trading friendly greetings with the townsponies as they went.

"Sweet moves!" Rainbow said, suddenly beside me. "How'd you run so fast? And what's with the glowing eyes thing?"

I struggled to come up with an answer, but I was drowned out by the sound of cheering ponies anyways.

"Cloud was just, just..." Mayor Mare began.

"Just awesome!" Rainbow Dash supplied.

"Exactly. We must do something to thank Cloud Strife for single-hoofedly saving the town," the mayor decreed.

"I know," Pinkie Pie declared. "A party!"

I would have happily accepted a bag of bits instead, even a small one.

I knocked firmly on the door to the strange building built into a tree. It was a public building, I knew, so I could probably just let myself in, but it was also someone's home, so I didn't want to be rude. "Come in," the librarian's somewhat familiar voice called out, and so I did.

"Oh, hi Cloud," Twilight Sparkle said, as she saw me enter. Her horn was aglow, and books were floating in and out of the shelves, being reordered for some reason. "What brings you here? Coming to check out a book? Need some research done?"

"Actually, I was wondering if you needed any help? Applejack's insisting on doing the harvest on her own for some reason, so I need to find another way to earn bits for now," I pointed out.

"Oh, umm. I actually have my own assistant. Spike! Come say hi to Cloud," Twilight said.

"Hi," a small draconic looking creature said as he entered the room. I got on one knee to share a handshake with him, grinning a bit at the newfound nostalgia of the simple gesture. "'Sup?" he added.

"Not much. Not enough," I answered. "'Sup with you?"

"You know, this and that. Helping Twilight. Trying to figure out what to do for my big date," he said.

Finally recognizing his voice, I nodded, hiding an amused grin behind a hand. "Your big date, huh?"

"Yeah. You wouldn't have any ideas, would you? Twilight's useless for this kind of thing," Spike said.

"Hay, now, I've provided you with a variety of relevant reference materials," the librarian objected.

"I'm afraid I'm not that experienced myself, especially when it comes to dating mares," I admitted. "But I would suggest you take it slow. Be yourself, have a good time, and show her a good time. Ask her about herself and let her know about you. No need to rush headlong into anything." It felt right to me, doubly so because he looked so young, and I knew his crush was still a child herself. Filly, that was the word.

"Are you sure? Because I'm not sure 'myself' is really her type," Spike said, a bit worried.

"If that's true, you don't want it to go anywhere," I pointed out. "If you're going to keep dating, it should be someone who wants to be with you, as you are. It's okay to improve yourself to impress the ladies: work out, hone some new skills, shine your scales and such, but never change who you are for them."

"But several of the books I have on the subject suggest otherwise," Twilight pointed out, floating a few tomes off the shelves.

I gave them a quick perusal, before laughing. "Twilight, these are romantic comedies. I'm betting half the plots are about one or both people pretending to be someone they aren't so that hilarious hijinks can ensue, rather than a healthy relationship."

"But... they all seem to work out in the end?" she said timidly.

Turning to Spike I offered a suggestion. "You can follow that model, if you like the idea of your relationship being a joke. I don't really think you want your life to be comedic relief though, do you?"

"No!" he said emphatically.

"Well, good luck to you. I've got to keep looking for work," I said, bidding them farewell.

I had no idea if Sweetie Belle would actually fall for the little guy, but at least she deserved an honest courting. Or more realistically, an honest friendship.

"Are you sure you don't need any help? It seems like you're super busy," I asked.

"Well of course I'm super busy!" Pinkie countered. "But it's your party! I can't hire you to cater your own party, silly billy!"

"Now Pinkie, don't be ridiculous. This mare's just trying to help. And besides, it's my bakery," a nearby stallion pointed out. "Carrot Cake," he introduced. "Nice to finally meet the Cloud Strife. Even if you can't help with your own party, maybe you can help cover the regular business while Pinkie works on it. Can you bake?"

"I can learn?" I offered.

By the end of the day, I had taken a place behind the counter, collecting bits and handing baked goods to customers, while Carrot helped with the baking. I did the math in my head every hour or so, counting down the time before my wages caught up to what I owed them for the ruined ingredients from my failed attempt to master the kitchen.

"Welcome, everypony!" Mayor Mare began. "Today we are here to honor a pony--"

"Who's not actually a pony!" Pinkie Pie interjected.

"... we can always count on to help in matters great and small. A pony whose contributions to--" the Mayor continued between interruptions.

Rainbow Dash seized the mic for a moment. "Did you see Cloud's slick moves out there? What an athlete! This week she's gonna help me with my new flying trick, and I know it's gonna be so awesome!"

"Exactly. And..." the mayor resumed.

"This week, I get to run Sugarcube Corner for the first time!" Pinkie added.

"What does that have to do with Cloud Strife?" the mayor dared to inquire.

"Oh. Cloud, one of the best bakers ever, is gonna help me. Cloud makes everything great, so free samples for everypony!" Pinkie declared.

I groaned inwardly. Pinkie had dutifully disposed of each of my culinary failures, apparently disagreeing with Mr Cake and I about the quality of the results. I suspected the other ponies would side with Carrot, but for now they were cheering for the free goods.

"Oh-kay, that's great. Now if I could just make a point without being inter--" Mayor Mare attempted.

"Miss Mayor?" Fluttershy requested.

The mayor ignored her. "--rupted. "Ah-ahem. And so, with no further ado, it is my privilege to give the prize, Pony of Ponyville Award, to our beloved guest of honor, a pony of the utmost trustworthiness, reliability, and integrity."

"Who's not actually a pony!" Pinkie interrupted again.

"Ponyville's most capable and dependable friend: Cloud Strife!" the mayor finally finished. The crowd cheered as I took the stage, smiling and waving at the adulation. This was pretty great. Standing up in front of a crowd, being cheered on for my heroics. I gratefully accepted the massive gold trophy they offered me, not letting my disappointment show through. If they would just hand me the bits directly instead of spending them on this garish thing then I could pay back my debts, maybe even have enough left over to start renting a home so I would have a place to put things like this.

Maybe Applejack would at least be gracious enough to let me store it at her place. Come to think of it, where was Applejack?

"Ready Cloud?" Rainbow Dash called up to me.

Looking down from atop the wooden scaffolding, something about this situation felt... upside down to me. Like I should be on the bottom, flying up onto this tower. Of course, that was nonsense. Gravity was quite clear which way I should go. Maybe it was just that the pegasus was so far below me, a distinct change of directions from the norm.

"Ready Dash?" I called back. I was a little worried her wooden contraption might snap when I landed on it.

We exchanged nods, and I jumped, dropping from the scaffolding with considerable speed. I landed with all of the skill my SOLDIER training could muster, going from toes extended to a full crouch as I landed, bringing one fist down into a ground pound as I spread the shock from the landing throughout my body as best I could.

"Alright, yes! Just like that! Only, on the platform," Rainbow pointed out. I had fallen short of the platform by a few yards.

"Right. Just, uh... practicing," I excused. Rainbow gave a knowing look but accepted the excuse as I climbed back to the top.

The next try overshot the landing pad, landing alongside the lever arm connecting our two platforms. "Just finding my range," I excused.

But the third try was just right, and as the force of my landing pushed my side to the ground, it launched Rainbow's side up, allowing her to kick off at incredible speed, even by her standards. I watched as she careened into pretzel loops, tracing out an incomprehensible knot with her rainbow contrails. Ponies stopped in their tracks throughout the street to applause and cheer her own, before she finally zoomed past me, meeting my outstretch hand with a hoof in a resounding high-five.

Even though the applause wasn't for me this time, I could still enjoy basking in the glow of it, not just for my own part in it but also feeling good for my friend.

"Now Pinkie Pie, are you sure you're up for baking the muffins and running the store this afternoon?" Cup Cake, Carrot's wife, confirmed.

"Yes siree bob, Mrs. Cake. Plus, I have Ponyville's prized pony to help me out. Why, she's the best baker ever. Right, Cloud?" Pinkie Pie bragged.

Carrot looked at me skeptically, remembering my earlier attempts differently than Pinkie did. "I'll do much better, this time," I assured.

"Even better?!" Pinkie gasped in disbelief.

"All right. Well, see you later, girls!" Cup said, before the Cakes took their leave. I shuddered a bit in nervousness at what was to come. I just knew I was going to end up even deeper in debt at the end of this. At least I could survive off some of the free muffins, if any of them proved edible.

"Stop with the shakin', it's time to get bakin'," Pinkie Pie declared enthusiastically. I couldn't help but giggle at her antics, my concerns soon lost to the moment.

Mixing the ingredients went well enough, as far as I could tell. I mostly just grabbed things from the shelves as Pinkie listed them off, letting her measure and pour them into the bowl, before I stirred them together. It wasn't until it was time to put them into the oven that things went really wrong.

I placed the first tray of muffins into the oven, closed the door and reached for the dial that controlled the device. When my hand touched, I felt a spark, and everything seemed to dim a bit, except two points of light on the oven's shiny surface, where my face was vaguely reflected. Before I could wonder what this portended, smoke began to pour out of the oven. I opened it quickly, only to find the muffins were on fire.

The fire extinguisher's spray did its job well, but would be a poor substitute for proper frosting.

"Okay, now let's try that again, only this time try not to get them quite so hot," Pinkie advised.

"Not so hot, got it," I repeated, nerves shot as I shakily dared to put the second tray of muffins in where the first had perished. I was focusing on that thought when I reached for the controls a second time, and felt that shift in brightness once again. "Did you see that?"

"See what?" Pinkie said, her face immediately pressed against the glass of the oven. "I can't see anything with all this frost in the way," she pointed out.

"Frost?!" I baked away from the cursed oven, as Pinkie opened it up, revealing the muffins to be not merely uncooked but actually coated with a thin layer of ice.

"Wow, you really know how to keep it cool," she said. "I didn't know our oven could even do that!" She happily snapped into a chocolate chip popsicle, loudly expressing her joy at the treat.

"Maybe you should do the actual baking part," I suggested.

"Oh Cloud!" Fluttershy greeted. "Thank you so much for offering your herding skills for the annual rabbit roundup."

"No problem, Fluttershy," I offered. "You know, I'll take any job at this point. So what are we doing here?"

Fluttershy nodded before explaining. "Well, lots of new baby bunnies have been born, so it's my job to get a count of all the new families. Just remember, these are bunnies we're dealing with, not cows. They're a timid bunch and need to be treated gently."

"Gently, right. Let's get started," I said, moving toward the bunnies. Every time I approached though, they fled, scattering in all directions of course.

"Okay, little bunnies! I need you to all gather here in the middle," she requested sweetly, eliciting at least some cooperation.

"That's right! Let's go, bunnies. In the center. Hop to it," I cajoled, doing my best to imitate a drill sergeant.

"Cloud! Stop! You're scaring them," Fluttershy objected, more loudly then I think I had heard her get up to that point.

"Sorry," I said, sighing and taking a seat. I closed my eyes, feeling the grass and the wind as I calmed myself. It reminded me of Aeris a bit. Fluttershy did as well. Those memories stirred more memories. A date? Had I gone out with Aeris already? No, she'd had some other boyfriend before me, but we had just met...

"That will do very nicely, Mister Strife," Fluttershy commended. Daring to open my eyes, I realized I was in the epicenter of a tightly packed crush of bunnies, quite a few of them atop my legs, hands and shoulders. There was even a couple little ones nestled amongst the spikes of my hair. I sighed anew.

When I got back to the Apple's home that evening, Applejack was nowhere to be seen. I even got a simple "nope" from her brother when I asked if he'd seen her since breakfast. This got me worried, and her family was as well, but Big Mac was injured from an accident still. He couldn't work the fields in his state, though he could still accompany me to look for his sister.

We got out to the fields to find Applejack sprawled on the ground before a basket full of apples.

"AJ are you okay?" I called out as I closed the distance.

"Fine, fine... a bit bushed, but otherwise," she struggled to her feet before posing. "I finished! See, I told you I could do it all by myself. How do you like them apples?" she said, taunting Big Mac.

"How do you like them apples," he countered, pointing behind her as he used more words in one sentence than I was accustomed to.

Applejack was crestfallen as she turned to look behind her, seeing acres of trees left to be harvested. "Ugh..." she sunk to the ground in defeat.

"You did good," I commended. "But for a boss battle like this, you need the help of other party members. Can we help you now?"

"Alright... you win. But what do you mean we?" Applejack questioned. "Big Mac's still injured."

"True, but I do have some other friends," I pointed out. "And so do you."

We traded smiles before I headed back to town to gather the help we needed.

Chapter 4: Griffon the Brush Off

I was relieved.

I lay back, finally, pulling my right hand up to inspect the sticky substance now coating my fingers. I sniffed at them a bit, then gave them a lick, before finally wiping them off on my sheets. My left arm though... I grimaced as I looked, seeing what my other senses had already told me. I had managed to break the skin, biting down too hard in an effort to keep my voice down and avoid drawing the Apples' attention to what I was doing. I needed to treat the wound, but it was far too embarrassing to bring up with the ponies, and I didn't know where their first aid supplies were.

It was early, still. Early enough the farming family hadn't risen yet, and wouldn't for a short time. I could search for it, quietly, and did so. I would have preferred to have the wound covered from view as I did, but that would just get blood soaked into whichever piece of Rarity's handiwork I put on, making it that much harder to clean up my mess. So I decided to forego clothing for now, at least until I had gotten myself bandaged.

After several careful cabinet checks, I saw something promising underneath the sink. I was bent over, finally in a position with enough grip and leverage to pull the case with the nice big red cross symbol on it out when I froze, feeling faintest of warm breath wash across my bare ass cheeks. In retrospect, I could have at least put on my bra and underwear without concern for getting them bloody.

"There's somepony right behind me, isn't there?" I said softly.

"Eeyup," came the answer.

Blushing hard, I shifted my position, looking under myself to see Big Mac's elevated undercarriage. It felt fair that I could see his intimate parts from here, given the view I was providing. I was a bit insulted that he was quite thoroughly sheathed, setting off a war of thoughts in my mind. Did I really want that huge stallion being aroused by me?! Obviously some part of me did, if only as validation. He caught me naked, tail end lifted no less, and he didn't even have the decency to get a nose bleed or a boner? Was I that unattractive? To a pony, perhaps.

"I guess I'm caught," I said, finishing what I was doing and putting the case on the table. I opened it up, and found what I was looking for. Antiseptic, bandages, the works. I wasn't a doctor, but I could field dress a wound, in case there wasn't anyone with a Cure Materia available to help. Infantrymen could save or lose comrades based on their skills in such things, to say nothing of bigshot SOLDIER members.

Actually, shouldn't a SOLDIER team always have a Cure Materia handy? They had a lot bigger budget than the common troops after all. I aborted that line of thinking, as it was obviously stupid and would only lead to madness. Better to concentrate on the matter at hand.

Or at hoof, as the case might be. The pony of few words nudged his way in, wrapping the bandage for me after I had rinsed out the wound. He didn't ask how I came to be injured. I knew he was intelligent, and that it didn't take much intelligence to figure out what had injured me. For Bahamut's sake, I hadn't even had time to rinse out my own mouth! The blood was probably still on my breath, along with other scents those huge nostrils couldn't miss. But he didn't say a word. Not even another 'eeyup' or 'nope'.

"Thanks," I said when he finished, giving him a light kiss on the cheek that at last garnered a reaction: a deep blush, followed by him looking a little unsteady. I giggled a bit before heading back into the guest room to dress for the day.

"You okay, sugarcube?" Applejack asked, breaking me out of my reverie. "You look a little... distracted."

"Yeah, sorry. Just thinking," I said. I took a quick mental inventory, glancing around. I'd been doing a decent job it seemed, despite my thoughts. Hooray for simple manual labor. The apples had been harvested, but now they all had to be inspected for quality, sorted by size and type, and stored in their separate containers to be brought to market.

"About what, if you don't mind my asking?" the farmpony inquired.

I blushed deeply. "I do mind, actually," I admitted. After a moment of hurt look from AJ, I added "For now at least. Let me sort through my thought a bit before I'm ready to talk about it."

"Gotcha," she said. "Well when you're ready to talk it through with a marefriend, you'll know where to find me. And judging from your blush, you're going to want to talk it through with a marefriend or five eventually."

Would I? Probably. But not yet. The whole morning had been rather jarring for me. Now that I was female, did I still favor females, or would males be more appealing? And though nothing had happened between us, my run in with Big Mac had caused me to at least consider the possibility of getting involved with a pony. Crossing the two thoughts had led me to considering the ponies I knew best. At this point I had no answers, just a big jumble of questions and confusion.

We parted ways with a wave once we reached Applejack's spot in the marketplace in town. She didn't need any help actually selling the apples, it was enough that I had pulled a second cart, even if it wasn't quite as full as the powerful mare's. It'd been all I could do to keep any signs of pain off my face as I refused to acknowledge the self inflicted wound hidden under my white cotton dress' sleeve.

I made her way through the streets toward Carousel Boutique to continue working off my debt to the stylish fashionista when a downpour suddenly began, accompanied by muffled snickering. A quick glance around confirmed my suspicion without even needing to look up. It was only raining directly on me, in a three foot radius. In a town where the weather was carefully managed by flying people, rain wasn't just a random accident you had to live with.

I decided to treat it like it was though, continuing on my way unabashed, even as ponies scattered before me to avoid getting wet, the raincloud following my every step.

"Here, Cloud!" Pinkie Pie said, offering me an umbrella by the handle. It was bright pink with red and white polkadots, something I might have found emasculating except that being in a female body made such concerns moot.

"Thanks," I thanked with a smile before lifting the umbrella and opening it. The rain stopped falling upon me, replaced instead with a deluge of confetti, the little paper bits sticking to my wet clothing and skin and turning me from a mix of yellow, white and offwhite to a full spectrum rainbow of confusion. My smile disappeared as I glared at the laughing pink mare.

"Hey, look, now we match!" Rainbow said, as she zoomed in near me, just outside the rain column, laughing herself. I glared at her too a moment, then sighed, letting it go, and then finally started to laugh myself, stepping back far enough to enjoy the prank as if I were in on it instead of the victim.

"Good one," I said at length, offering a fistbump to Rainbow, and then Pinkie before finishing her trek.

"Hi Rarity. Would you happen to have a spell for drying someone out who's been rained on?" I questioned, as I stood just inside the boutique, adding Pinkie's umbrella to the cute little umbrella holder by the door.

"It's called a 'towel', dear," Rarity said, levitating a bathtowel over to me, as she trotted down the stairs. "Oh my! Whatever happened to you dear?!"

"Just a little prank by Dash and Pinkie," I said, as I toweled off, knocking the confetti loose into a scattering on the floor, which the mare quickly began to sweep up with a cute little broom into a cute little dustpan.

"Not that, dear, that," Rarity said, pointing at where the rain had caused my bandage and sleeve to soak, resulting in a large red spot. "Priorities, dear."

"I... the bandages must have soaked through because of the rain..." I explained weakly, avoiding what she really wanted to know. I realized too late, my embarrassment had redoubled her interest, and I was now doomed. Worse yet, she insisted on removing my wet clothes, all of them, leaving me to sit on her couch, naked except for a towel, with a cup of tea to warm me up while she cleaned and eventually dried the clothes. Somewhere in the process she got me a fresh bandage, as well, the second pony to bandage my same wound that day.

"I was, well... exploring myself," I admitted, finally.

"By biting?" the mare said, skeptically.

"No. I was just trying to muffle myself, to keep the Apples from overhearing and catching me in the act," I explained.

"The act of what? Oh... like with your hoof? Sorry, hand?" Rarity could judge a lot from a blush, it seemed. Or at least assume. But she was right this time and I told her with a nod. "Everypony clops, dear, don't let anypony fool you on that," she reassured. "Still, you were right that it isn't polite to wake everypony up while you're doing it. I didn't realize you were such a screamer?"

"Neither did I. That was my first time," I said. It was true enough. I didn't really want to get into the detail of my gender change right now. I'd already told Fluttershy, but hadn't brought it up to any other pony, not even my close friends like Rarity.

"Oh? At your age? Actually, just how old are you, if I might ask? I have no idea with humans, I was just assuming you were an adult," Rarity inquired.

"I'm 21," I told her, "and yes I'm an adult. I had a brief career working for Shinra as a member of SOLDIER, their elite fighting force, before becoming a mercenary."

"You were a warrior? I had no idea. Though I suppose it does make sense of some things," she said. "Like your lack of fashion sense," she added in a quieter aside that I let her get away with.

"Sex and military discipline don't really mix, and I wasn't interested in men... human stallions... that way when I had free time," I excused. While every word was true, of course the reality was that I had been a man, and simply hadn't had any luck with the ladies. Which seemed strange now that I thought of it. A brave, confident, well-respected SOLDIER member usually had all the opportunity they cared to take advantage of, didn't they?

Trying to remember only managed to bring back memories of Tifa. We had been too young back then to really make anything sexual of it, but we had been friends when... she had gotten hurt, out on mount Nibel. Her parents blamed me, and forbid us from playing together. I only saw her one more time before leaving, calling her out to the water tower to bid her farewell.

I tuned back in to realize Rarity was looking at me expectantly. What had she just been saying? "Sorry, can you repeat that?"

"I was just saying, we should get you a proper spa day to get you in tip top form and then find you a nice stallion to go on a date with. Unless you prefer mares?" Rarity said.

"I... this is a fainting couch, isn't it?" I inquired.

"Yes, of course, darling, why do you think I have it?" Rarity said puzzled, before I faked a faint to get myself out of the conversation.

"Big Mac saw me naked," I admitted while cutting fabric for Rarity.

"So?" she said, genuinely confused. "You weren't mid-clop, were you?"

"No, though it was just after. I was trying to get the bandages without waking anyone," I said. "I caught sight of 'him' in the process as well, though there wasn't much to see."

"Of course not dear. Most ponies don't wear much unless it's a special occasion. You actually stand out quite a lot wearing as much as you do. Not that there's anything wrong with that. After all, standing out is what fashion is all about, darling," she offered.

"I guess you're right. But to be honest, I hadn't thought about ponies like that at all before just then," I told her. "I really don't think I'm ready to go on a date with anypony, just yet."

"I understand darling," Rarity said. "But we should still get you that spa day. You'll love it, trust me."

It did have my curiosity piqued, but at the same time it was one more money sink.

Heading back through town in my freshly cleaned cotton dress, I gave a little smile when I saw Fluttershy up ahead. She was walking backward, slowly, guiding a family of ducks through the town carefully. I waved, but she didn't notice, so I figured I would approach her and greet her properly.

Before I could close the distance, however, she backed into a passing griffon by mistake. They got into a one-sided argument as I was still closing the distance. I couldn't make out the words, but it was clear Flutter was apologizing and the griffon was having none of it.

I was walking briskly, since it didn't seem like violence was in the works, but before I could reach them to try to break it up, the griffon drew in a deep breath and roared as loud as she could, driving Fluttershy and the ducks into a panicked run. Before the griffon could recover her breath, I had knocked her head into the pavement, chin first, with a leaping downward punch.

"Ow! What the fish do you think you're doing?!" the griffon demanded as she recovered from the blow.

"Oh, is there a person in there somewhere?" I asked. "I heard a monster roar, so I moved to take care of it. I don't let monsters scare my friends."

"You want a fight, you furless freak?" she asked, adopting a pose I assumed was meant to be intimidating.

She had claws, a sharp beak, and enough toughness to avoid being knocked out by my first solid blow. She also had wings, and I had no ranged attacks. Or even a sword, for that matter. Honestly, I was probably on the losing end of this confrontation if it went to a full out fight. But the first part of fighting is making sure the other party is the only one that believes that. My eyes glowed brightly as I called on the power I had felt so many times recently. I didn't have any materia to guide it right now, so I wasn't sure if it would do anything other than make a bit of light, but it was worth a go. I grinned in a way that showed off my teeth, including the bits of dried blood from this morning. I really needed to buy a toothbrush.

"Sure, I was looking for something easy to do," I said, full of bravado. "Were you looking to die?"

Her confidence cracked, but only cracked. "As if. You're not going to kill me," she said, without true conviction. She was looking into my eyes, and I made sure they weren't just glowing. They were predatory, in a way the predator's eyes were not.

"Deal," I said. "Since you are a person, not a monster... I'll just make you wish you were dead." The cruel grin really sold it, along with the knuckle crack for good measure.

"Forget it, you're not worth my time," she said, trying pathetically to save face before using those wings of hers to escape.

"Wow, Cloud, don't you think you overdid it?" Pinkie asked as she came out of hiding. "I mean she was all *roar* but then you were all *bam!* and she was all *wanna fight* and you were all *you'll wish you were dead*! You know she's not really a monster, right? Just a regular mean meanie-pants. And she's like Rainbow Dash's oldest friend ever."

"Do you have a better idea?" I asked, cringing a bit about that last revelation. I really didn't want to lose Rainbow Dash's friendship over something like this.

"Of course... come with me," Pinkie said. "This calls for extreme measures."

In the end, I was glad Pinkie had suggested I stay out of the party myself. Maybe after this 'Gilda' made amends with the ponies, we could get to know each other on non-violent terms. I certainly wasn't holding out hope for friendship at this point. But I helped Pinkie put together everything she needed for the party, and even managed to get paid for my time, making a dent in what I owed the Cakes for their oven repair bill.

When I reached the Apple's farmhouse, Applejack was gone, Applebloom and Granny Smith had already gone to bed. Big Mac had a late snack while I had a late dinner. We sat side by side, eating quietly for a time.

"Today was a really awkward day," I said.

"Eeyup."

He definitely had a way with words.

Chapter 5: Boast Busters

I stood in the back of the massive crowd of ponies. It seemed like the whole town had turned out, just to see a one mare show upon a rickety portable stage. I had begun thinking about it derisively until I realized how lacking the town was in formal entertainment. It wasn't bad... the ponies made their own fun, in plenty of ways. But actually seeing a show here in Ponyville was a rare treat. It wasn't like Midgar with its television numbed masses. I didn't recall a travelling troupe like this ever showing up in Nibelheim, where Tifa and I grew up, but I was sure we would have given them a similar turnout, now that I thought of it.

The showmare was entertaining enough, but she was arrogant, and her boastfulness started to get under the skin of my friends. I didn't notice at first, as they were in the front row, and I in the back to keep my height from blocking any ponies' views. But as their voices started to reach me, their tone alerted me that something was amiss, and I began slowly making my way around the outskirts of the herd.

Rainbow Dash hovered over the stage, confronting the mare verbally. This resulted in an illusory depiction of the showmare defeating some kind of bear-shaped constellation. I didn't know what it was supposed to symbolize, exactly, but it was enough for Rainbow to back off for the moment.

As I got close enough to make out words, I heard the showmare issue a challenge. "Anything you can do, I can do better. Any takers? Anyone? Hmm? Or is Trixie destined to be the greatest equine who has ever lived!?"

Applejack got up onto stage with the showmare, and put on an impressive show with her rope skills. I had never realized her tail had that kind of strength in it. Wasn't it pure hair? I guessed maybe this was just a form of pony magic. The unicorn countered by performing similar stunts with her telekinesis, ending up hogtying AJ. Honestly, with telekinesis being such a common unicorn trick, I was more impressed with the earth mare, despite the result.

Still, I was annoyed at the treatment of my friend. After the incident with Gilda, though, I didn't want to make my reputation among the ponies worse if I could avoid it.

Rainbow was next to challenge her. The mare flew into the sky, passing through a cloud before zooming back down. She deployed the moisture from her mane, making a little rainbow appear in the air above her. Cute, though hardly the most impressive display I had scene from her. The showmare somehow grabbed the rainbow in her magic and used it to spin Dash around, toppling her off the stage. Ouch. That had been humiliating, but when this 'Trixie' followed up by conjuring a lightning bolt, that was a line too far.

"Oh, and what are you going to do?" the unicorn asked, causing me to realize I had hopped up on stage.

I froze. I had no idea what I was going to do. Punch her? Make an oven malfunction? She deserved an upstaging, not a violent beating, and I was unprepared to deliver either. Embarrassed, I slipped off the stage, and went to help Dash up instead.

"What we need is a unicorn, someone with magic of their own," Spike said. He seemed to be trying to encourage Twilight to go up there, but the modest librarian refused. Rarity stepped up to the occasion instead. Stepping hoof on the stage, she showed off her body a bit. I knew she was considered beautiful by the other ponies, though I wasn't great at seeing it myself.

When she magically wrapped herself in her hair a moment, before popping out in a dress I recognized from her ponyquinns in her shop, her hair settling into a whole other style... well, that I actually was a bit impressed with. Trixie's counter, merely transforming Rarity's mane into a green mess was less impressive as well as mean spirited.

"Are you okay, Dash?" I asked. When she nodded I added "then let's go!"

Dash, sensing what I was thinking, charged toward the stage in a rainbow blur, ready to follow up on my deployment of violence with one of her own. It took her a moment to realize she had misread me, and streak after me, catching up with me despite my mako-enhanced speed just as I was finally catching up with the fleeing Rarity.

"No! Don't look at me! I'm hideous!" Rarity cried out as she tried to evade me.

"Dash, lead the way," I said as I managed to grab Rarity around the barrel and lift her bodily off her hooves.

"Where to?" the pegasus questioned.

"Isn't it obvious. Emergency Spa day!"

"Thank you so much for saving me, Cloud," Rarity said as we relaxed in the lounge chairs, while the twins worked on the two mare's hooves. They were still quietly consulting over whether and how to attempt to deal with my own nails. Regardless, we were all quite relaxed after the massages and hot tub soak.

"You're welcome, though there is a simple way you could repay me," I offered.

"Oh my, I didn't think you would be so bold, so soon after our last discussion," Rarity said, obviously feigning shock.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Rainbow asked her.

"I just meant you could pay for the spa treatment for both of us," I stammered out, blushing like a beet.

"Oh, of course darling," Rarity said with a giggle. "How could I not. To answer your question though, Dashie, our friend here just confessed to me that she isn't sure whether she prefers stallions or mares. And that she has experience with neither, for that matter."

At the moment, I realized the benefits to talking behind someone's back, for the sake of the someone being talked about.

"Really? An awesome pony like you has never? Wait, are we just talking ponies here, or like, your own kind too?" Dash questioned.

My face tried to find a redder shade to turn, but the spectrum failed me there. "There were a couple ladies of my own kind I was interested in dating, before I came here unexpectedly, but never had a chance to do so."

"Sounds to me like you have your preference," Rainbow commented.

"Well, I was... a guy at the time," I confessed.

Rarity gasped, while Rainbow answered with a "wait, what?"

I took a deep breath and steady myself, before taking the time to explain the circumstances of my arrival here in Equestria. "...I told Fluttershy about the change when I first arrived. We were discussing the differences between human and pony biology, so it just felt... safe to tell her about the differences between how I was and how I was used to being."

"To think that someone would sell such dangerously enchanted clothing! The scandal of it all!" Rarity pointed out. "I'm sorry dear, I never realized what you were going through this whole time. I can't imagine what it would be like to be suddenly made into a stallion against my will... not that either is worse than the other, but, you know what I mean."

"All too well," I agreed.

"Well, I think you're awesome, stallion or mare," Rainbow said, offering me a hoofbump. "I really did think you were going to beat up that Trixie back there, though. Why didn't you? I mean, you beat up Gilda..."

"And what did that accomplish?" I asked. "Trixie was obnoxious and mean, but she's not a monster that needs to be put down. What she needs is to be shown up, but I really can't do that. Without materia to focus my power, I can't do anything much with magic, and I don't even have any fancy rope skills like Applejack. Give me a sword and I'll take on any monster, any day. But a fight of stagecraft?"

"Don't sell yourself short, darling," Rarity said. "I've seen you take on an amazing variety of challenges since you've been in Ponyville. Surely you can..."

"Can I outdo you in making clothing? Or Pinkie in baking? Or Applejack in harvesting apples?" I countered. "Stagecraft is her specialty. I can't outdo her in her greatest strength."

"But she challenged us all in our greatest strengths," Rainbow countered. "Beat her in what you're best at."

"What I'm best at is violence," I pointed out. "Are you honestly suggesting I challenge her to a fight? Without any of my equipment, especially materia, she'll just hold me up with her magic and I won't be able to do anything."

"No, you're right, she doesn't deserve to be beaten up," Rarity said, sounding a bit sad about it. "Even after what she did to my mane."

"It looks much better now," I said, indirectly complimenting the twins who were now working on my own nails.

"It's still green," she pouted in response.

I put in some time working at Sugarcube Corner after the spa, helping Pinkie clean up after the day's baking. "How did Gilda's party go?" I inquired as I did the dishes and she wiped down the counters.

"It was okay," she said. "Rainbow tried to liven things up with some sweet pranks, but they all ended up going off on Gilda, and she got mad and left. It was kind of a downer, but then we turned our frowners upside-downers and had a good time the rest of the night."

I nodded, "you were a lot nicer about the whole thing than I was. Too bad it sounds like your way didn't really work either."

Pinkie shrugged, refusing to stay down. "How was your spa day? Oh, hay! Are your fingernails pink now?! Wow!" She hopped over to me, checking out my nails as I blushed. "The toes too?! Thank you!" she hugged me fiercely, making me glad I had gone through such intense training in SOLDIER. I don't know if an infantryman could have survived her hugs.

"For what?" I asked, confused.

"For going with my color, silly billy! That means you're going to take me out when you get to the Golden Saucer, right?" the mare asked.

"What are you even talking about?" I asked, even more confused. "Wait, what? No. Pink is just a very standard color for women to paint their nails..."

"Aww," she said disappointed for a fraction of a moment before bouncing back. "Okie dokie loki! Still, if you ever want a private party just let me know!"

My mind reeled, trying to make sense of the party pony, and second guessing my guesses.

Thankfully, an earth shaking roar interrupted us.

I ran outside, followed closely by Pinkie, and looked for the source of the sound. It was hard to miss. I no longer thought the images Trixie had displayed were quite so metaphorical now. I constellation, shaped like a bear, was tearing up the town near where Trixie's show had been. I braced to run toward it, then thought better of that idea, and ran the other way instead. First, anyways.

The bear was stalking toward a cowering Trixie when they came into view. I was running at them as fast as I could, eyes glowing with mako energy, my movements greatly inhibited by the load I was carrying before me. It was a ridiculous gambit, but it was what I had to work with.

"Hey! Big, fat and ugly!" I taunted. Trixie remained frozen in my path while the bear paused a moment to look past her to me. Perfect. Everyone was lined up just right.

"Take this!" I shouted as I reached the showmare, taking perverse satisfaction as I ran up her back, knowing the force of my steps would be like powerful kicks, a bit of subtle vengeance arguably justified by the maneuver that might just save her. I kicked off her head, leaping up toward the massive bear.

As I guessed, it wasn't content to let me come to it, but instead lashed out with one clawed paw, swinging to hit me mid-air. Perfect. Twisting to face it, I opened the door of the oven I was carrying, aiming it to catch one of the claws in its interior. The bear didn't know to worry. Even with the claw striking the back of the metal contraption instead of my thin clothing, I was in for a world of hurt: the claw slammed the oven into my torso, nearly managing to wind me, and succeeding in changing my direction of movement toward a nearby wall. But before we separated, I slammed my hand onto the control to the oven.

It was like a Fire Materia, I realized, making sense of the sensations with the mako flowing and the adrenaline heightening my awareness. Flames raced up the bear's spectral fur, making it roar out in pain. I saw it turn to flee, back towards the woods, even as physics took its course, and I made my way inexorably into a wall.

I was instantly surrounded with flashing lights of various colors, rhythmic pulsing sounds, and a thin fog. I thought at first they must all be concussion based hallucinations, until they stopped suddenly, a white unicorn stepping from behind a control panel to approach me, considering me through opaque round glasses, her ears still covered by a pair of massive headphones.

She surveyed the damage, noting I was well enough to start to sit up, and saw the distant tail of the beast. "Did you just chase off that Ursa Minor?" she asked.

I nodded, brushing the rubble off of myself as best I could.

"Wicked!" she declared, earning a dazed grin from me.

A couple of colts ran up to me as I approached Trixie. I had a piece of the destroyed oven in my left hand, a crystal shard that made the whole thing work. It wasn't technically materia, but it was close enough for me to make a bit of fire with.

"That was awesome! You're awesome! You're the awesomest, Cloud Strife! Can we have your autograph?!"

I ignored them for now, making my way to the showmare.

"Coming to gloat at the humbled and humiliated Trixie?" she asked me, accusingly.

Something in the back of my mind told me to reach out to her, to lift her up. But the front of my mind told me this was a victory, time to celebrate it as such. It was what someone like Sepheroth would do, surely. I crossed my arms, looking down at her with a triumphant smirk. "You can do a lot, Trixie, but you aren't in my league when it comes to combat. Know your limits."

"You may have vanquished an ursa minor, but you will never have the amazing, show-stopping ability of the Great and Powerful Trixie!" the unicorn declared. A burst of power created a pyrotechnic display and a cloud of smoke, hiding her from view as she retreated past the crowd of ponies that had gathered.

"Why, that little..." Rainbow Dash muttered, taking flight to pursue her.

"Rainbow!" I called her back. "What do you even plan to do if you catch her?"

"Make her pay for all this!" she said, gesturing at the damaged buildings.

The two colts from earlier approached me sheepishly. "Well, you see... it's not really her fault," the one with the scissors brand admitted. "Uh, we're sorry that we woke up the ursa minor."

"We just wanted to see some awesome magic," the one with a snail marking added.

"Yeah! And the way you vanquished that ursa minor was awesome!" scissors pointed out.

"We deserve whatever punishment you give us," snail flank conceded.

"Well, she was still a jerk!" Rainbow pointed out. That voice at the back of my head nagged me some more, as I looked, catching sight of the blue mare still receding into the distance.

"Alright, come on. Follow my lead," I said to Rainbow as I started after her, eyes glowing as I broke into a sprint once I was past the crowd.

I skidded to a stop just past Trixie, cutting off her retreat, Rainbow dropping to the ground next to me.

"What do you want from the great and powerful Trixie now?!" Trixie demanded, quickly wiping away some tears.

"I challenge you to a contest of might and skill," I said.

"Yeah," Rainbow said, before looking at me, "wait, what?"

"You wish to humiliate Trixie further? As you said, Trixie is no warrior," she admitted.

"And I am not construction worker, and neither are you I take it? So it's even ground. We'll each pick teams to help us, and split the repair work that's needed between the two. The town can vote on who did a better job fixing everything," I challenged. "Your stage counts too, even if it isn't permanently part of the town, it was here and caught up in the same rampage."

Rainbow recovered from her surprise, and nodded along. "That's right, unless you're too wussy to take on a challenge like that," she dug.

"Trixie will show you. Trixie will show you up close and personal. Trixie choses you for her team," the showmare declared.

"What, hay!" Rainbow objected.

"That's fine. I issued the challenge, so Trixie can chose first. But one thing: each of us gets one of those colts that caused the mess as a member of our team," I insisted.

As we approached the scene of the destruction, however, a massive roar shook the earth. Looking up, we saw a purple monstrosity towering over the buildings, sparkling with stars. It was roughly bear shaped, the resemblance to the ursa minor quite obvious. But this one dwarfed the one I had driven off. Along with the buildings it was now savagely destroying, and even more so the ponies now threatening to trample us in their escape.

"Come on!" I shouted, rushing toward the creature, gripping the makeshift Fire materia in my hand hard enough to draw a bit of blood.

"Trixie will just be going now!" the showmare said as she turned and fled.

"I get the feeling she's the smart one here," Rainbow pointed out, though she kept pace with me.

The ursa minor had been destructive, but now we got to see not only real power, but also real malevolence. The difference in its will to destroy was palpable in its actions. I didn't know what we would be able to do against it. I was fairly certain I was running toward my death, but I just couldn't help but feel like I needed to be the one to deal with this threat.

But in the end, I wasn't. Rounding the final corner I saw the most unexpected thing. A little butter-furred pegasus flitting up directly in front of the bear-shaped constellation. The mare who I had seen cringe fearfully from a fly stared the beast in the eye with such ferocity that the beast cringed fearfully from her. The sweet gal who couldn't speak loud enough for me to hear her name straight the first time, nor gather the courage to correct me on mispronouncing it, opened her mouth wide and shouted down the bear, berating it into submission until it finally fled with a pathetic whimper in its voice.

Rainbow and I slowed our approach, walking slowly the last few yards to catch up to Fluttershy as she landed. When she turned on me, I nearly had a heartattack as she hit me with a faint echo of what she had turned loose on the bear. "You shouldn't have attacked that little baby bear cub," Fluttershy accused, speaking firmly but not shouting.

My mind reeled. Baby?! Then that last one was its mom? That made some kind of sense. "Sorry..." I had said before my mind caught up. "I didn't know what else to do, it was destroying the town and threatening to hurt Trixie."

"It's okay," she forgave instantly, speaking much quieter now. "You did your best. But now there's so much damage to Ponyville..."

"I know, and I'll help fix it. Along with those two colts, Trixie if she hasn't run off too far, and any other ponies who are willing to lend a hand. Sorry, hoof," I said, looking back to see if I could see Trixie anywhere.

"I'd be happy to help," Fluttershy said before yawning, "if it can wait till morning?"

"Sure, but there's something you could help with tonight," I said.

At my request, Fluttershy was kind enough to give Trixie a place to stay until the damage could be repaired, while other ponies took in the locals whose homes had been damaged. In the morning, we were able to get quite a few volunteers to help with the repairs, most of the town in fact, and while a number of them took on supporting roles, such as Pinkie and the Cakes catering for their respective teams, rather than lifting hammer and nail, we were able to fix the town completely within three days.

Trixie left triumphantly, having earned the victory in our little contest. I had my own stupidly big trophy re-engraved to award her. While her teammates complained for weeks about her rude, condescending and overbearing way as a foremare, her attention to detail and insistence on a flair for style had left many of the homes looking better after the repairs than before they had been destroyed, while my own team had gone for a simpler, more casual job that left everything sturdy and functional, but not always elegant.

But the events had highlighted something for me; I was woefully underequipped. For someone who claimed to be best at deploying violence, I didn't even have a weapon, much less quality arms and armor. I needed to change that, and I needed to change it soon. Fluttershy might be good at diffusing situations, but I needed to be prepared to protect her if that ever failed, to say nothing of the rest of Ponyville. I still had debts, sure, but the ponies I owed were in no rush to collect, and I had a fair number of bits to my name. It was time to see a blacksmith about a sword.

Chapter 6: Dragonshy

"Here you go. Give it a swing," Hammer Time said. I had identified the earth pony blacksmith by his flank mark, lucky in my guess at the meaning of his hammer. An anvil would have been a surer thing, I supposed, but I hadn't seen one like that around.

I took the sword he offered me into hand, looking it over first. The cutting edge was sharp, the back edge blunt but smooth. The length was just as I had requested, a good four feet. It was much lighter than my buster sword, but I was a bit lighter myself these days. Wordlessly, I took Hammer Time's advice and gave it a few testing swings, getting a feel for the grip in my hands. It was a bit alien feeling; both my hands and the handle they gripped notably more slender than I was used to. But the latter was sized perfectly for the former, and the blade well balanced.

"It swings nicely, at least without anything to strike. And it has a good heft and a keen blade... I think it will do just fine. Now to try out the special feature," I said, reaching into one of my pouches.

"I made it like you described, but honestly I don't know what you were really going for with that. I can't promise it will work like you hoped," Hammer said.

I nodded in understanding, as I got out my makeshift fire materia. I had gotten it encased in green tinted glass, like a sort of marble, and already confirmed it still worked for me if I held it as such. Pushing it into one of the three open slots in the handle of my new blade, I closed the latch to hold it secured and gripped the blade again. It was there. I could feel it in my mind, the awareness. The knowledge of the arcane patterns. Energy began to flow through me, then flow out of me in green rippling waves. I spun my sword around, attaching it to the pair of magnets Rarity has sewn into the back of my bra, and let the power flow. Pushing my hands forward, I focused on the cooling coals within Hammer Time's forge and watched with satisfaction as they erupted with new heat, flames wafting out a moment before settling into a dim red glow.

"It works perfectly," I said, before handing over nearly every bit I had managed to save up thus far.

His hoof brushed my hand as he took the coins, causing me to blush reflexively, losing my cool. I started to make a hasty retreat but he called out to me. "Stop."

"Hammer Time?" I questioned with bated breath. I hated what was happening to me just then, my emotions going on overdrive over what was clearly nothing. Did all women have to deal with this nonsense? Maybe it got easier when you had your whole life to get used to it.

"You gave me too much. Here's your change," he said, proving just how nothing it was as he lifted a handful of coins in his teeth with dexterity that seemed impossible and dropped them in my hand. I flinched in anticipation of the slobber that must surely be on them, but there was none. How did ponies manage that?

"Thanks. I should get going," I said, before rushing out. I was across the street and behind another building before my head cleared enough to put the bits away. My heart was still pounding, beating more heavily than it did in the life or death struggle of combat. My mind railed against the wayward, nonsensical emotions. The stallion hadn't even so much as flirted, I was pretty sure. Neither had I, I hoped. We just conducted some perfectly normal business in a perfectly professional manner, and now it was done. DONE!

"That is a handsome looking sword, darling, but it doesn't go with your outfit at all," Rarity objected. "I'll need to make you a whole new wardrobe to go with it," she insisted.

"I can't afford that," I complained, "I just spent all my bits getting this made. Well, most of them," I conceded, blushing once again at the memory of his hoof, sliding gently across mine.

"You're blushing, dear, is it that embarrassing to be short a few bits? In any case, it's on the house, this time. My muse will not be denied," the unicorn insisted. "Besides, I've been wanting to make you something more suitable to your, ahem, lifestyle choices for some time."

"Alright," I conceded. "I can't really say no, especially if it's something sturdy that can stand up to a proper adventure. But I'll owe you."

"If you insist darling. Actually, I do have an idea of how you might repay me, later," she said as she headed to her drawing board to start sketching some designs. "In the meantime, I think we're done for today. Thank you ever so much for your help, darling."

"Stay classy, Rarity," I said, before heading out into the streets.

"There you are!" called a pegasus, before the mare in question descended upon me. It was a wonder she could see me even now, with how her eyes refused to focus in any particular direction. "Letter for Cloud Strife," she explained, offering up a scroll.

"Thanks," I thanked, tossing her a bit as a tip, which nearly toppled her over in surprise. She grinned before making her way to the nearby Sugarcube Corner, possibly intent on spending it before I changed my mind. I unrolled the scroll, looking it over. The handwriting, or whatever, was immaculate.

Dear Cloud Strife,

Thanks again for all your help saving the world from eternal night! You've really proven yourself to be a great ally in times of darkness. Speaking of which, have you seen the sky lately?

I paused in my reading to look up, frowning at the blanket of smoke overhead. How did I not notice that? How much else was I missing by not looking up? I continued reading.

If you could, I would like you and the other Element Bearers to join me at the Golden Oaks Library as soon as possible to discuss how you can remedy this troubling situation.
Thanks in advance,
-Twilight Sparkle, Librarian, Golden Oaks Library, Ponyville, Equestria

Opening up the door, I called in. "Rarity, I need your help with something a bit more pressing than my wardrobe."

The six of us arrayed ourselves in a semicircle in the main room of the library, each of my pony friends wearing the necklace that bore their flank mark, while I wore the tiara with my buster sword symbolized in the center. Rarity was looking at me thoughtfully, eyes roving up and down, no doubt trying to factor in the tiara to her next dress design for me. I tried to remember I'd need to insist on pants this time.

Twilight was front and center with a chalkboard, practically vibrating with excitement. "Alright, listen up!" she said, acquiring our attention, and then directing it with a levitating stick toward the chalk board where she had laid out bullet points for her presentation.

"At 0800 this morning," she began, before pausing to answer a raised hoof from Fluttershy. "That's eight in the morning. Ahem. Element Bearer Fluttershy observed copious quantities of smoke emanating from 317 degrees, to the northwest. She expressed concern regarding arboreal combustion, however, I have confirmed with Princess Celestia that the origin of the substance is draconic in nature instead."

"In Equine, egghead?" Rainbow Dash requested with considerably less tact than the rest of us would have.

"There's a dragon, around here," she said, pointed to a mountain to the northwest of Ponyville on a nearby map. "He's making smoke, but the forest is not currently on fire." A round of "Oh!"s signalled our newfound understanding.

"Your mission, should you chose to accept it, is to go to the mountain and remove the dragon," Twilight explained.

"A dragon?" Fluttershy's voice asked from someplace out of view. "A full grown dragon? I don't accept, no no no no."

"So what's the game plan? We go in and blast it with rainbows like we did to Nightmare Moon?" Rainbow Dash asked, much more eagerly.

"I don't think the Elements work that way," I pointed out. "Not unless the dragon was corrupted by some outside force or something. Did this princess mention anything like that?"

"No, nothing like that," Twilight said.

"Then you won't need me this time, right?" Fluttershy's voice asked. I think she was under the couch, but I couldn't be sure, and didn't want to compromise her hiding spot.

"You can stay home, Flutters," Dash said. "We'll take care of this ourselves."

"So who is this princess, anyways, and did she mention what the mission pays?" I queried.

"Pay? You mean saving Equestria from an ever growing cloud of smoke that threatens to block out the sunlight, choke off plant life, destroy the entire ecosystem and cause us all to starve to death isn't payment enough?" Twilight asked incredulously. "Anyways, you've met Princess Celestia, remember? She was the one with the wings and the horn."

"How do you expect us to pay for wear and tear on our equipment, as well as upgrades to be prepared for future emergencies, if we don't get paid, especially on vital missions like this? To say nothing of hazard pay. I've helped take out a dragon before, they're no joke," I pointed out seriously. "Wings and a horn... you don't mean Nightmare Moon's second form, do you?!"

"What? No. That was Princess Luna. Technically she is the co-ruler of the country now, and she's Princess Celestia's sister. No, Celestia is the white one, with the sun cutie mark," Twilight explained, sounding a little exasperated.

"Oh, the one with the magical hair? I hadn't noticed she had a horn or wings," I admitted, causing a round of face clopping. "Anyways, please request that her highness prepare a payment of one thousand bits per element bearer, so six thousand for the mission, due upon our successful return. Fluttershy, since you aren't coming on this mission, you'll only get half of your share, to support your readiness in the future, while the rest will be divided between us for taking up your slack. Don't make a habit of this though, or we'll have to have words about your role in the team."

"Do you really think the princess will pay all that?!" Applejack asked in shock.

"Do you think she'll let Equestria remain covered in smoke, killing everything just to avoid paying the mercenaries she explicitly reached out to hire?" I countered. I turned back to Twilight. "She might try to haggle. If she tries to go below half, she can deal with the dragon herself. If she's a cheapskate about it, we'll start working in line item fees into our contracts. Anyways, this is a pretty low price for something like this, but we need to build up our reputation, along with our equipment and personal readiness, so that we can earn a more suitable price."

"Are you going to be charging the crown every time there's a crisis?" Twilight asked, sounding a little worried at the idea.

"If the princess prefers, we can negotiate a retainer fee, so she doesn't have to pay per-crisis. I'm sure her regular guards receive a regular salary, we can work that way too. But she can't expect us to step in to deal with things her regular guards can't or won't without any pay," I said firmly. "Since we aren't already on the payroll, though, she's going to have to pay for this mission as is."

Twilight sighed. "Alright, I'll have Spike send your demands along. In the meantime, can I finish my mission briefing? I've mapped out a path to get you to the dragon's lair as quickly as possible..."

"Thank you Twilight... actually, let's make it 7000. You do a lot yourself to make this team work, and deserve to be paid for your own efforts as well," I said.

"What? No, I couldn't. All I did was look in some books, find a map, plot a course, prepare this presentation..." A checklist, mostly checked off, appeared in the air beside her as she went over all the things she had done.

"And that's all quite valuable. Plus, if you had a budget for equipment or maybe support staff, I bet you could do even better in your role," I pointed out.

"I already have an assistant. Spike," she pointed out.

"And you should pay him from your share. I'll let you be the judge of how much he deserves," I replied. "Now then. That path?"

We met at the start of the trail up the mountain, each of the ponies sporting a pair of saddle bags heavy with gear. We set out with grim determination, knowing our task before us. I thought back to when Sephiroth and I had fought the dragon near the mako reactor in Mount Nibel. It had taken only three blows, two from him and one from my buster sword, to take the beast down. I didn't know what to expect from my allies in terms of combat performance, but I figured I could at least land three blows myself and win this if it came down to it.

Sadly, my fire materia was likely to be worse than useless.

"This is soo cool. We're like total badass big-shots now," the pegasus said, as she puffed along riding a dark storm cloud.

"Y'all don't get careless now," Applejack cautioned. "We haven't won the day, yet."

"Oh, I do hope this doesn't come to violence," Rarity pointed out as we walked. Her camouflage hat seemed like it made her stand out even more, but I wasn't one to criticize the fashionista's fashion choices. And this wasn't really a stealth mission.

For my own part, I made a note to spend some of my earnings on a pair of boots. I'd gotten used to going about barefoot all this time, but the rugged terrain out here made that all the more uncomfortable. Still, I was certainly not going to be defeated by rocks.

Pinkie Pie bounced along beside us, lightly buoyed by the balloons she had tied to her, her identity obscured from the unbelievably unobservant by lensless glasses and a fake mustache. I would ask if that was all a joke, but she was the bearer of the Element of Laughter. If she anyone could weaponize cheap gags it was her.

The ground rumbled as we walked, like a cross between an earthquake and a snore. I briefly doubted whether three hits would prove enough, but I wouldn't allow myself to doubt for long. We had this. We had to.

Still... "If any of you can think of a way to get rid of the dragon without a fight, I'm all ears. Twilight only said we have to remove it, not kill it per se."

They nodded, but nopony had any suggestions just yet.

The trek up the mountain was a good warm up for what was to come. The shaking came at pretty regular intervals, so we were able to time the more treacherous parts around the rhythm, making dangerous leaps well between the snores. A rock slide half way up gave a bit of excitement and perhaps even danger to the trek, but we made it through uninjured. Rarity was quite taken aback at the amount of dirt that deposited itself on her in the process, but managed to remove it from herself with a bit of magic.

We finally reached the top of the mountain, the smoke billowing out from the cave a sure sign that we were at our destination. We took a moment to recover from the trek, while Applejack deployed snacks for us. Trust an Apple to have apples on hand at a time like this.

"So, any ideas on how we approach this nonviolently?" I asked.

"I brought props!" Pinkie Pie said, deploying her array of silly objects. "If we can just make him laugh, I'm sure we can convince him to leave peacefully!" she said.

"Okay... any better ideas?" I asked hopefully.

"I can use my feminine charms on him," Rarity said seductively. I blushed a little as she managed to get a reaction out of me. And here I thought my new body didn't respond to females... Not the time for this!

"Okay... any others?" I asked, but Rainbow and Applejack shook their heads, each preparing their weapons of choice. Rainbow's thundercloud looked promising, while Applejack's apples looked... frankly, silly. But if she could throw as hard as she could buck trees, maybe they would serve some purpose.

Also, maybe we were doomed.

Nope. Just three hits. One, two, three. As long as my party members could even distract him enough to give openings, we had this.

"Rarity, you're first. If he laughs you off then Pinkie, you follow up with the clown routine. If that fails, the rest of us will be ready," I said. "Don't take chances though: if he moves aggressively, get out of there."

I struggled to maintain my patience while Rarity called on the trick she had used on stage before, magically twirling her hair around her while she quickly changed her outfit, redid her manestyle and gave herself an instant makeover with makeup I never caught sight of. Seeing it much closer stirred something within me, buried deep within. My body wasn't reacting, I realized, but I was. I could still appreciate a beautiful woman, or mare in this case. She caught my look and gave me a wink as she trotted past, making me worry about what exactly she would be planning for me now.

The rest of us crept after her, taking up positions out of sight of the dragon, but where we could see Rarity and move to assist if we were needed. The dragon was quite thoroughly asleep, and from here I could see the front of his snout, where there smoke billowed free from massive nostrils. I couldn't help but comment quietly. "I don't think it would fit."

Rarity glanced at me in confusion a moment, before looking back at the huge red reptile, realizing what I was referring to and blushing madly. Fortunately she had time to recover her poise before proceeding forward.

She stopped, distracted by something, and soon a couple of new necklaces were around her neck. Then a crown on her head. Other accessories floating over to her. Oh Bahamut, was she robbing a fucking dragon?! "Rainbow!" I shouted just in time, giving Dash the go ahead to dash in, barreling into Rarity and knocking her out of the way just before a claw swept through the space she had just occupied.

Before I knew it, my sword was in hand, my feet pounding across the stone, coins, and gems as I closed the distance with the massive dragon. His eyes were still locked on Rarity, tracing her motion to one side, while I rushed in from the other. He barely saw me coming in time to blink, the massive eyelid sweeping down just in time to trap my blade within the massive but delicate orb rather than keep it out. His roar of pain shook the cave, causing rocks to rain down toward us all.

He tried to smack me with a massive claw, but I hefted myself up with the sword handle, ducking onto his face while his limb slammed into where I had just been, driving my sword even deeper into his eye. As he recoiled, I slipped back down, grabbing the handle and tugging the weapon free with all the might my mako-fueled muscles could muster. One hit. Two to go.

Despite her theft, Rarity was no longer the dragon's prime target. I was, and that meant I had to be on the move, dodging flames, claws and teeth.

"Call out your attacks for extra power!" Rainbow advised. Where in Bahamut's name did she get a stupid idea like that from? "Rainbow Bash!" she shouted, demonstrating her nonsense, before shoulder checking the dragon in a blurring streak of rainbow colors. It clearly did not have nearly the impact on the dragon that it did on her own shoulder.

"Party Cannon!" Pinkie said, before pulling out a massive cannon. Where had she hidden that thing? Did it matter. That was just the kind of firepower we needed right now. Or so I thought, until I saw confetti and balloons scatter uselessly out of the thing. The dragon was not even so much as distracted.

"Thousand Needles!" Rarity shouted, getting into the spirit of things. A pair of large knitting needles flew forth from her pack and began stabbing the dragon repeatedly, working their way down his sides. While they seemed to be rather accurately landing blows between the scales, no blood was forthcoming. But then the dragon wobbled anyways, collapsing to the ground with a contented sigh.

"Rainbow, get your cloud ready to strike on my mark," I shouted, moving to take advantage of the opening. I managed to shove my blade in under one of his scales toward the back of his head before he regained his feet, pulling my sword out of reach with him. Two.

"Applejack! Your lasso!" I shouted, as I was back on the defensive.

The earth mare nodded and, without calling out an attack, got her rope wrapped around my handle, giving it a sharp tug that brought the blade to her while dislodging the scale. Before she could toss me the blade, though, a massive wave of flames washed over her. She passed out in a cry of pain, still smoldering.

"Hay, you big meanie! Eat this!" Pinkie yelled before throwing a large cream pie at his one good eye. The dragon complied with her directions, snatching the snack out of mid air, only to start writhing and trying to scrape it off of his tongue desperately. Whatever was in that pie, Pinkie had pranked him good.

My blade reached my hands in Rarity's telekinetic aura, while the mare started acquiring more loot, making plenty of noise in the process. The mare was a bit too busy with what she was doing to properly evade the backhand that launched her into the nearby wall.

Seeing two of my friends go down, I reached my limit. No. I broke it. Power surged through me, pulsing out from me in red waves as I began to run toward the dragon. Leaping high into the air, I made it up above his head before coming down, blade first, driving my blade into his head where the scale had been knocked loose. Had his eye worked on this side, he probably could have dodged, but as it was?

"Rainbow, now!" I shouted as I leaped off like a frog. A sharp kick from the pegasus knocked a lightning bolt loose from her cloud, the energy arcing down into the nearest conductor: my blade. And through it, directly into the dragon's skull. Power arced out from lower parts of his body into the gold coins around him, and from there into the ground. Three.

His death cry peeled out, making his earlier snores and roars seem like whispers in comparison. The cavern rumbled and shook, more rocks falling free. In his death throes, his body jerk up, head slamming powerfully into the ceiling, making the ceiling shatter even faster.

One of the rocks must have struck me. The next thing I remembered was waking up in the hospital.

"Twilight, she's awake!" Fluttershy called out quietly. Barely audible over the beeping monitors tracking a half dozen heart beats around the room. But somehow the librarian got the message and came to my other side.

"Cloud, are you okay? No, of course you're not okay, but you're still alive!" Twilight pointed out.

"The others?" I said, rather alarmed by her choice of words.

"All made it out alive. You're all here in this room, actually. Oh, and good news! I have Celestia's acceptance letter!" Twilight declared, pulling out a scroll.

I looked at her blankly, wondering why she would think now of all times was the time for this. But she did have me curious now. "What's it say?"

Dear Cloud Strife,
In light of your recent success, the crown has decided to pay your requested fee for service of seven thousand bits. Enclosed is a royally sealed voucher which will allow you to acquire the funds from any bank in Equestria. In addition, the medical expenses of you and your group will be covered in full.
The crown would also like to thank you not only for removing the dragon menace from Equestria, but also through your actions providing the location of a rich new source of funds for the national treasury. We look forward to more lucrative business ventures with you in the future.
Get well soon!

-Princess Celestia

Chapter 7: Look Before You Sleep

I fell back asleep before any of my roommates awoke. It was hard not to. With those kinds of injuries, the body just had to sleep. And apparently none of the ponies had anything resembling a simple Cure materia.

As I slept, my mind brought back memories. They must of have been distorted by my dreams, though. It started with the first time I had fought a dragon. I had a weird sort of disembodied view for it, at this point watching from behind Sephiroth and myself, like about where I knew the truck we had been riding in must be.

Rewatching the events from this view, something became apparent to me. Sephiroth and I didn't take down the dragon in three hits, like I had thought. My sword bounced uselessly off the dragon between the two hits it took Sephiroth to slay the dragon on his own. I had known there was a difference in power between us, but I hadn't realized how great. Or maybe the dream exaggerated it. The dream had some weird nonsense to it, as dreams do, like the frowning horse face at the edge of my peripheral vision as I watched the dragon fall.

I realized something else though. I had put myself and every pony with me in great danger with my confidence. My arrogance. It was a miracle we had survived, much less taken out such a massive and powerful dragon. We were lucky to be in the hospital, rather than the morgue, or more likely the dragon's belly.

We arrived at my home town, where Tifa and I had grown up. I was so excited, I was acting a bit spastic, talking excitedly to Sephiroth, to the neighbors who didn't seem like they recognized me, even to the 'camera', so to speak, the point I viewed the dream from. That was odd but... somehow familiar. The words... I vaguely remembered having some kind of buddy along, some loser infantryman who was kind of fun to hang around. I can't remember him that well though. At least I didn't talk to the pony.

I saw my mom. It filled me with sadness, remembering my pathetic excuse for a last meeting with her. She was so worried for me, and I wasn't worried in the slightest for her. Neither of us knew what was coming... how could we? It was weird that this was the only part of the dream that seemed to be from my own perspective. The pony laid a wing gently on my shoulder as I left, a sympathetic look in her eyes.

Tifa finally showed up, getting her picture taken with Sephiroth and I, before leading us to the mako reactor we had been sent to check up on. Back in those days, we tried to protect mako reactors, not blow them up. After what happened though... is it any surprise my views on mako reactors would change?

The pony was alarmed when the bridge on Mount Nibel broke, snapping out from under us. Her horn lit as if to lift us, but then she settled down, as we managed to get to safety on our own. She glided down to us, joining us as we entered the cavern where we found natural materia growing, and listening to Sephiroth's lecture on the matter with great interest.

When we reached the reactor, I watched Sephiroth and myself go into the inner chamber, while my view, strangely, stayed outside, watching Tifa. It filled me with a weird sort of nervousness. The pony stepped passed me, looking within and gasping in horror. I knew what she was seeing, the monster falling out of the pod, I remembered it but in my dream I couldn't see it. Strange. I knew I was in there, with Sephiroth.

The dream lept forward, a few days I think. The town was on fire. Sephiroth was burning my home down. I gave chase, the pony following after, enraged along with me. It jumped forward again. This time my view was just coming on the scene as I ran into the inner reactor, leaving Tifa's injured body behind. I was a bit thankful the view didn't include the up close view of her wounds.

I saw myself being tossed, bodily, from the inner chamber. I hadn't imagined I would have won that fight, but to see it end so ignomiously. I was furious. My viewpoint surged forward, slowing a bit as I felt the heft of the buster sword coming along with me. There was Sephiroth, his back turned, oblivious to my rage, obsessing over some gross half-decayed abomination...

I awoke, suddenly, staring up at the ceiling, surrounded by the rhythmic beeping of heart monitors.

"Element of Generosity, huh?" I asked Rarity, when she had awakened enough.

"I can't exactly be generous, if I don't have anything to be generous with, now can I?" she asked sheepishly. "Alright, I admit, seeing all of those gorgeous gems, I got a little greedy. But it all worked out in the end, didn't it?"

"Not for the dragon, I reckon," Applejack pointed out. "And not all that well for us, honestly."

"Are you kidding? We were all bam, pow, zappo! And did you see it? I killed a dragon! Me! I mean, you guys all helped, especially you Cloud. You were amazing! But I was so awesome!" Rainbow Dash said, her enthusiasm derailing only when her movements caused something to pop ominously and the mare to settle back, wincing in pain.

"What ever did become of his hoard, anyways?" Rarity inquired.

"Based on her letter, it sounds like Princess Celestia has claimed it for the crown. At least she paid for our hospital stay and agreed to our fee. All 7000 bits," I explained. I suppose I could have felt cheated, but honestly there had never been a moment where I had actually planned on keeping the hoard. By the time I knew it existed, there were far more urgent things going on, and by the time things settled down again the hoard was out of our reach.

"That's gotta be like, over a hundred bits each!" Rainbow Dash said.

"Five hundred for Fluttershy, a thousand for Twilight Sparkle, and eleven hundred for each of us. That was the deal," I pointed out. "You all certainly earned it. Though we need to have a discussion about how we're going to do better next time."

"Agreed! When we win we need to be able to celebrate our victory, and you can't do that very well in a hospital," Pinkie Pie pointed out. "Though I can certainly try!" with that she got out her kazoo and started playing a familiar tune, only for it to die out on her lips as everyone looked at her in disapproving disbelief. "See..." she said, her point proven, much to her dismay.

"Does there really have to be a next time, darling?" Rarity asked. "I mean, the bits are certainly good, don't get me wrong, but I don't think any of us but you, Cloud, are really cut out for this sort of life."

"Like it or not, we have the Elements of Harmony, so we are going to be called upon to deal with things only they can handle," I began. "In those cases we will all need to be involved, even Fluttershy. But beyond that... you say you aren't suited for this, but you all just defeated a full grown, fire breathing, dragon. And before that, we beat Nightmare Moon so fast she didn't even have time to give a villainous monologue. I'm not asking you to give up your day jobs. We're not full time guards. We're elite mercenaries, but we're a lot more than that. And above all, we're friends. Not only with each other, but with the other ponies of Ponyville who will suffer if we don't step up and deal with the dangers that come. So... are you cut out for not only being a friend, but the friend they need, when they need it?"

"Yes!" they all said, not in proper unison, but with a good deal of determination. Fluttershy was the last to speak, and I worried she might have been dragged by peer pressure rather than being genuine about it. By contrast, Rainbow seemed almost too eager, and I hoped finishing off that dragon hadn't gone to her head.

That settled, we got into details for a while, discussing what we could do to prepare ourselves better for the troubles to come. Rainbow Dash suggested we start sparring on a weekly basis. Rarity pledged to work on armor for us, something light and fashionable, of course, but better protection than we had before, certainly. Pinkie surprised me by offering to train us in stealthy movements, something she had apparently mastered solely for the purpose of visual gags. And Applejack promised to set up an obstacle course for us at her farm, for some good old fashioned training.

For my own part, I had two plans. One was teamwork drills, to practice reacting quickly as a unit to different situations. The other was for myself; to see what other magical devices I could get a hold of to take apart, and see if I could make some more makeshift materia. Fire was one thing, but it was useless against a dragon and honestly a lot of other situations as well. Having more options would make a huge difference.

We were exhausted by the end of the conversation, despite our good cheer, and ultimately fell back to sleep.

The dream came back to me, this time from my own perspective. It started simply enough. The dragon, the townsfolk, Tifa, the reactor. I remembered a different part, this time. A library back in town, where Sephiroth was going crazy digging through all kinds of old books.

The pony distracted me this time, by speaking. I was sure that wasn't a true memory. It broke me out of getting caught up in the dream, made me realize it wasn't really real. Not this time, at least.

"You have the memories of another within you. That must be terribly confusing for you," she said.

"Nightmare Moon!" I accused, finally recognizing her.

"My name is Luna," she failed to deny. "And I do not come here as an enemy. I wish to understand the one who helped free me from my own long nightmare."

I was skeptical, but on the other hand, I was only so guarded. Now that I knew this to be a dream, I doubted she could do any lasting harm here if she tried. Information was the thing to guard, and she had already had free reign to so much. "You were here last time, too. So then I'm guessing you already understand a fair bit more than you had."

"I am wondering why you were hiding," she said. "From the beginning, I mean, before all the fire and everything."

"What are you talking about? I don't hide from anything," I countered.

"You hide from yourself," she objected, and with a wave of her feathers I was a woman suddenly, and naked before her.

I blushed and fumed, fists balled and ready to strike, but I held back. It was pointless, anyways. This was a dream. What good would lashing out do in a dream? "I defeated you once, Nightmare, at the height of your power. Don't think I can't defeat you again."

"And I've already thanked you for that," the pony reiterated. "I was about to do something truly terrible, and you saved me from myself. Maybe in time I will be able to do the same for you. But for now... you are agitated, and I am being no help to anypony." With that, she turned and left, walking in a direction that wasn't a direction, and exiting the reality of the dream, just in time for Sephiroth to start laughing hysterically, and start into some speech about the evils of mankind.

Thunder pealed out, heralding the start of the storm. Heavy rains pounded down relentlessly.

"If pegasi control the weather here, why such a heavy storm?" I asked Rainbow Dash.

"All that smoke last week prevented us from having our usual rains, so we have to get caught up," Rainbow explained.

"The plants need the water, even more so after all of that, I reckon," Applejack added.

I nodded, accepting their explanation. Even dead, the dragon was still giving us troubles. But where I had grown up, storms just happened, often without forewarning, and we generally survived just fine. I was sure a pony controlled storm would be that much safer.

Our conversations were subdued, though, the storm worsening all of our moods. Even Pinkie was looking a bit 'under the weather', her mane loosing much of its normal curl. But things really took a turn for the worse when the medical staff came in, bringing two more ponies to join our already fairly crowded ward. We recognized them instantly from their fur colors, before even catching a better view of them. Fluttershy and Twilight Sparkle.

"What happened?" I demanded to know, but my demands were unheeded. It was probably for the best: the nurses and doctor focused on their work, stabilizing their patients and seeing they were recovering properly before heading off to other duties.

Fluttershy awoke not long after they left. I tried to find out what happened but she got really shy about it, and none of us could make out her words. It wasn't until Twilight awoke that I finally got an answer.

"We were walking back to my place when the storm started. We heard a loud snap from above, and then something came down hard on our heads," Twilight said.

"I was afraid something like that might happen," Applejack said. "I usually help prune the trees before any big storm like this, to keep things like that from happening to anypony. Dead or weakened branches aren't usually any trouble, but in a storm they can come down unexpectedly."

"What were you doing going to the library, anyways?" Rainbow asked, curiously, but Fluttershy cringed as if accused.

"Oh, my. Are you two secretly an item?" Rarity inquired with a giggle.

"What? No! Nothing like that," Twilight assured. "Spike was out of town, so I asked Fluttershy if she would come over and have a slumber party with me. Princess Celestia has been on my case about needing to make more friends, so I thought I would try doing one of the common friendship activities described in several of my books." A scroll unfurled beside her, noticeable for the fact that not a single box had been checked. "See, I even made a list of salient points."

"Then what are you so embarrassed about, darling?" Rarity inquired of the shy pegasus.

"Well, I just didn't want you to be mad that I would go have a fun little sleepover while you are all stuck here in the hospital," she admitted, loud enough at last to be heard. "Especially you, Pinkie, I know you would hate to miss a party."

"Aww, thanks Fluttershy! Hey, why don't we have the slumber party right here?" Pinkie asked. "It's not like any of us have anywhere better to be!"

The idea seemed gratingly dumb to me for a fraction of a second, before I realized she was right. Besides, as I guy, slumber parties had always been this bizarre, secret ritual forbidden to mankind; now I was invited in, one of the girls... If I had to be a girl, I might as well give this a try and see what all the fuss was about. "Let's do it," I said. "What's first on your list, Twilight?"

"Let's see... makeovers! Hmm, that might be a little hard in our current condition," Twilight confessed.

"Nonsense, darling. Trust your Rarity to always be prepared for a makeover," the fashionista declared. One advantage of being a unicorn was that you could apply makeup from across the room. Ultimately, I think Pinkie was the most satisfied with the results, however. The mare liked humor in all its forms.

Rarity was the last to be made over, with Twilight wielding the makeup at the directions of the rest of us. I tried to take it seriously, but I had the feeling that Applejack and Rainbow Dash were going for revenge for some perceived slight rather than actual beauty, and Pinkie may have been going for a clown motif. I sincerely hoped my friend would be spared from seeing a mirror before it could be somehow washed away.

"Group hug photo!" Pinkie Pie shouted out, before I stumbled into the pile of ponies sudden in the middle of the room, blinking off the flash as a camera began printing off an image. What had even just happened? How had I gotten out of bed? How had any of us? For that matter, how did Pinkie's forelimbs stretch wide enough to hug all six of her friends at once? Was this another dream?

I escaped my reverie when I noticed the game of keep away, with Rainbow and Applejack trying to make sure Rarity couldn't get a hold of the picture. Pinkie managed to snag the photo in her teeth and proudly displayed it to Rarity.

I was surprised the windows didn't shatter at the pitch and volume of the shriek.

The doctor stormed in, unamused, and sentenced us all back to our beds, the nurses coming back to reattach our vital sign monitors. I wondered, personally, how much one of those devices cost and whether I could make some form of materia out of it, and if so, what would it even do?

When things had settled down, Twilight quietly drew out her scroll. "Makeovers. Check. Now it's time for ghost stories."

The ponies' stories were more cute than horrifying, no matter how much they tried to spin them up. At least to me. Fluttershy's story, especially, about the ghost of a mischievous squirrel who liked to steal everypony's tea bags from their cupboards, resulting in unsuspecting hosts failing at the main part of throwing tea parties. The funniest part, that all of us did an admirable job avoiding laughing at, was the Fluttershy herself seemed genuinely terrified of the prospect. The mare could stare down an ursa major but shivered at the prospect of being unable to provide a guest some tea.

Twilight's tale was by far the most serious of the lot, and I had to wonder whether it had been memorized from a book or somehow amalgamated from a few such tales. But once the shrieks of fright had subsided, the ponies all turned to me.

"Your turn, Cloud," Twilight said. "I'm sure you must have some really scary ghost stories, especially since you don't seem to have been the least bit scared by any of ours."

I thought a moment, before my recent dreams gave me an idea. A bad idea, perhaps. "I'm not sure if I should be telling you all this one."

"Ooo," Rarity said with a shiver. "I'm getting goosebumps already. Don't leave us waiting, darling."

"Yeah, this one's gotta be good," Rainbow insisted.

"Maybe I should listen from under the bed?" Fluttershy asked, but made do hiding under her blanket.

Twilight got out a quill and a fresh scroll, though I was uncertain whether she would be writing down my story, or simply recording observations of my companions.

"It all started the day I met my first dragon," I began.

"... but I wasn't even nearly a match for Sephiroth. He knocked my blade aside easily, and with a deadly slash of his own, he sent me flying through the air to my death," I finished.

There was a heady silence for a few minutes before Fluttershy finally voiced what they were all thinking.

"W-wait... does that mean y-you're a-a-a... ghost?!" she asked, terrified.

"You tell me," I said, grinning viciously in a way that showed off my canines and drawing forth my power enough to bring out the glow in my eyes. The butter colored pegasus eeped and hid completely under her covers.

"It's alright Flutters, she's still alive. See, she you can hear her heart monitor," Rainbow pointed out.

"Besides, I reckon if she is a ghost, she's clearly a friendly one," Applejack added.

"Not friendly to dragons," Fluttershy pointed out, making me recoil as if struck. "Nor ursas," she added more quietly, but I heard perfectly clearly.

"Besides, dear, it's a ghost story, right? They're all just made up... right Cloud?" Rarity inquired.

I hesitated, thinking about it. After two nights of dreaming about it, the memories were starting to get mixed up with my dreams into a jumbled mess. "It's... there's some truth to it, but I embellished more than a little to make a good ghost story," I offered. "And, no I didn't die there, Fluttershy," I said with more conviction than I felt at that moment. "I got injured and knocked out, sure, but I survived. And so did Tifa. I met her again in Midgar, so I know she's doing alright." Well, assuming she was able to get free of that Don Corneo creep on her own, but there was little reason to doubt that.

"Alright, girls. Ghost stories... check. Next is... s'mores. Any chance we can get those here in the hospital?" Twilight said, trying to get everything back on track.

"On it!" Pinkie declared, before escaping.

"What's after that?" Rarity inquired.

"Truth or dare," Twilight read off the list.

"Oh! This will be fun," Rarity said, clopping her hooves together. Finally, a chill ran down my spine.

Chapter 9: Bridle Gossip

The night after I was discharged, after a brief stop at the bank to sort out our pay, I went 'home' to Sweet Apple Acres and pretty much just slept. Applejack was recovering well from her burns but she was the last one left in the hospital. Fluttershy and Twilight had been discharged the day after they joined us, and Pinkie had recovered quickly as well.

I knew my date with Rainbow Dash would be the next day, and the memories of our game of truth or dare colored my dreams that night. I relived the end of our game, only this time the doctor joined us rather than putting a stop to things. Nightmare Moon appeared, which was kind of weird. Her presence brought my mind out of the moment, making me recognize the dream for what it was. She didn't seem phased in the slightest; to the contrary in fact. "It's good to see you have at least some normal dreams," she commented before taking her leave. I guess it was comforting to know ponies had wet dreams too.

After she left, the cast of my dream shifted a few times. For a time it was Rarity I was eating out, and the blacksmith, Hammer Time, who was hammering me. At another point, it was Tifa before me, and I think some Shinra infantryman behind me, perhaps my old war buddy? The last I remembered was being between Applejack and Big Mac.

When I awoke, I was terribly aroused, but I was afraid to try anything. I had to make do with a cold shower, letting the frigid fluids wash away my desires, for the time being. I hoped things went well with Rainbow and she was as eager for a physical relationship as she had hinted, but even thinking about that brought up a distinct logistical challenge. I had nowhere to take her back to, and her home was literally a cloud. Only pegasi could even stand on their structures, using some form of magic that came along with the wings. So with her place and mine both so poorly suited, we needed a third option.

Of course, I wasn't broke now. It was time to find my own place.

I spent the morning helping out the Apples. With Applejack out of commission, they needed all the help they could get. Big Mac was a powerful pony, perhaps better described as a 'horse', but he could only do so much by himself. Besides, the farm work did a lot to help keep me fit.

I showered again at noon, changed into my cotton dress and headed for town. As I approached the Carousal Boutique to check in with Rarity, and see if she would need my help, the door burst open and Rainbow Dash came out, coming to a stop before me. "Cloud!" she said in surprise, shifting to an embarrassed look.

"What are you wearing?" I asked, giving an appraising look. Casual clothing seemed an odd thing for ponies. Casual usually meant naked, but here was a clear exception. A light, sleeveless white shirt covered her barrel, followed by a rainbow striped skirt over her flanks. Her hind hooves had what appeared to be sneakers on them. The whole outfit looked adorably ridiculous.

"Oh, well, uh... Rarity insisted," she excused, rubbing the back of her head with a hoof. "If you don't like it, I can ditch it once we're out of sight."

"No, no. It looks cute on you," I assured. More quietly I added, "but I won't mind taking you out of it, privately."

Rather than blush, she grinned excitedly, before starting down the road. "Come on, let's go get that hayburger I promised you," she said, leading the way. Like the hare in the classic tale, she made her way in fits of speed, pausing here and there to let me catch up, rather than keep a steady pace with me. But soon we were at our destination, ready for a lunch date.

I had to pause at the door, a painful cramp making me grimace as I braced myself on the doorframe. "What's wrong?" Rainbow asked, seeing my look. "Just hungrier than I realized," I excused. I wasn't sure what that was, really, but I had had nothing but hospital food for over a week, aside from the breakfast I had thoroughly burned off this morning.

"Just let me order for us, okay?" Rainbow offered, flitting ahead and approaching the cashier. I was a bit leary of actually eating a hay-based food, but I decided to give it a try. All of the other foods I had eaten in Equestria had been fantastic, or at worst dull, I could risk one truly unpleasant meal with a beautiful mare to distract me.

So I found us a booth and waited for Dash to join me. "It'll just be a minute," she assured after blurring her way into the seat across from me, setting a massive chocolate milkshake between us. I had half expected two straws, but instead she took a quick sip from the one straw before turning it toward me. "Milkshake?"

I tried some, enjoying the taste. It seemed to take a bit of the edge off the distress I was feeling in my gut. So hunger it was? "It's really good," I pointed out, a bit awkwardly. It occurred to me, I really had no idea how to date, much less go on a lesbian date with a pegasus.

"Yeah," RD answered about as awkwardly, letting silence have a few seconds before finding something to fill it with. "You know... winter is coming. I'm going to be really busy helping distribute all the snow. It's a big job, but somepony has to do it."

"I bet you're great at it," I said. "Though how well does snow stand up to your amazing speed? Do you have to slow down to keep it from being melted?"

"I do," she said proudly, "but I get to go top speed on the runs back to the factory. So that part is fun."

We made some more small talk until our meal was ready. She kept the focus on herself, bringing all new meaning to 'talking about the weather'. But I enjoyed myself well enough. I liked seeing her smile, and nothing got RD smiling like talking about how awesome she was.

She flitted away as our order came up, promptly delivering a tray before me and a similarly loaded tray to her own side. "Here you go, you're going to love it," she assured. "You should try this sauce with your fries. It's my own special awesome sauce." She had slipped a small paper cup onto each of our trays with a rainbow swirl of something. Ketchup, mustard, relish, barbecue sauce, and mayonnaise was my guess. Watching her dip her own fries I could see that, because it wasn't really mixed together, each fry would get a somewhat different mix of flavors.

"Thanks," I said, hoping it wouldn't clash too weirdly in my mouth. I started with the fries myself. My fears that they might also be hay-based proved unfounded, as the taste of fried potato was instantly recognizable. I 'mmm'd happily, easily appreciating the difference in quality between Equestrian fried potatos and what they managed to get in Midgar. Still, Rainbow's 'special awesome sauce' proved more special than awesome to my taste buds, and I used less and less of it as I went, hoping she didn't notice.

"So, I know you're just going out with me because of the dare, but this is actually pretty nice," Rainbow commented just before starting into her actual hayburger.

"You're the one that was dared," I pointed out. "I could have just said no."

She froze at that, halfway through a bite, eyes going a bit wide as if in fear before swallowing slowly. She blushed and couldn't quite meet my eyes for the moment as the implications ran through her head. "Well, of course, who wouldn't want a date with somepony as awesome as I am," she asked rhetorically.

"I could ask the same," I said with a bit of a smirk. "I am the leader of a pretty elite mercenary group, after all. A hero as well, by any measure, and I look damn cute in this dress," I pointed out. I had been avoiding focusing on my own qualities, but it had slowly grated on me how much Dash focused on herself. She was awesome, sure, but so was her date.

"Well, yeah, any group with me in it has got to be elite," Rainbow pointed out.

I rolled my eyes and bit into the hayburger. The taste was decent, a lot better than I had expected. Beef would have been much better, but the amount of grease they used gave it an almost beef-like taste. Then again, I had actually traded words with the local cows, after saving them from their own stampede... I wasn't so sure I could eat beef with that thought in mind.

"What, you doubt it?" Dash asked. "You were there. I killed a dragon the size of a house! How awesome is that?! And not even a small house, like a massive mansion like my house. But you wouldn't know about that, would you? Aren't you still homeless? Living in Applejack's basement?"

I leaned back, giving her an annoyed look. "You sure know how to make your date feel special," I said sarcastically. Well, this date was going down the drain.

That took the wind out of her sails for now, making her sit back and look embarrassed herself as we quietly ate, not meeting each other's eyes. I tried to think of a way to salvage the situation, but nothing was coming to me. So we left in silence at the end of our meals, making our way out into the quiet, abandoned streets.

"Where is everypony?" I asked, realizing how alone we were.

"Huh? Oh no, what day is it?" she asked me, suddenly tense.

I told her the date and she got nervous. "Go! Hide. I'll make a run for the clouds. Maybe Pinkie will let you hide in Sugarcube Corner with her... it's right over there. Hurry, before she sees you!"

"Before who sees me, Dash?" I asked, confused.

"The forest witch! She comes into town once a month, looking for victims to curse!" Rainbow explained.

Reaching back, I gripped the handle of my sword in one hand, reassured by its presence and the feel of the materia touching my mind. "What do her curses do? How many victims has she claimed?" I questioned.

"Umm, well, none that I know of..." admitted Rainbow. "But that's just because we always get away and lock all the doors first. Come on, you've got to hurry."

"You can hide if you want, but this is what I signed up to do," I said firmly.

"Fine. If you can face her, so can I," Rainbow said, determined not to abandon me. Element of Loyalty, right.

"Let's go then," I said. We started searching the town, together, and before long we caught sight of her.

She was a pony of some kind, I guessed from her shape, but her features were hidden under a dull brown cloak, covering her head and body. What I could see of her legs were a mix of grays in irregular stripes, with one covered in golden loops. Her eyes seemed to glow from beneath the hood as she slowly approached me, her grim grey muzzle poking out into the light.

"That's far enough," I said when a building's length was all that divided us.

"Your hope to stop me is unjust, what must I do to earn your trust?" she asked, though she at least didn't close the gap any farther.

I opened my mouth to speak again but all that came out was a cry of agony as I doubled over in pain, my gut wrenching in indescribable ways. I fell over, clutching my gut tightly. Rainbow Dash panicked at the sight of that, and fled with awesome speed, lest she become the witch's next victim.

I heard the witch approach me, and asked me something. I was in too much pain to make out words, but the tone seemed... friendly than Rainbow had led me to expect. Concerned. I managed something of a nod. Oh Bahamut, what was happening to me?!

She brought her head close, sniffing at me and looking me over before she seemed to come to a decision. She stood up to look around for a moment, before pulling me onto her back. I was only vaguely aware of events as she made haste, fleeing with me out of the town. Scenery flitted past me in a blur, first buildings, then fields, then trees. At last we came to a stop within a small wooden hut, somewhere deep in the woods. She let me down and I rested, still clutching my gut in agony although the worst had passed, for now.

"What did you do to me?" I asked.

"I have brought you to my home this day, to help your pain to go away," she said. She started a fire in the middle of her tent, before beginning to add ingredients to the water held within. Most I didn't recognize in the slightest. However, the obvious smell of cocoa filled the room as she worked.

"The hayburger?" I guessed. It certainly wasn't hunger this time.

"Tis truly not fit for you to eat, your gut is more attuned to meat," the pony allowed. As she worked, she cast off her cloak, revealing more of her striped fur and mane, as well as the golden jewelry that covered her throat and hung from her ears. "But food is not what troubles you, tis simply that your time is due."

"What's that supposed to mean," I asked, struggling to sit up. The movement brought my attention to an odd stickiness under my dress.

"You suffer as the red baboon, tis wonder it has spared your mood," she said cryptically before offering me a simple wooden bowl filled with her chocolaty concoction.

I sipped at the drink a moment before downing it. As impossible as the mare was to get straight answers from, she seemed to at least have an idea what was wrong with me, and maybe she was just trying to help. Indeed, my cramps began to slowly ease up.

While I drank, she took a cloth to her own hide, cleaning up a few spots of blood. More was on her cloak, I saw.

"You're injured?" I questioned.

"The blood you see comes not from me, nor injury born, it comes from thee," she explained.

I frowned at her for a minute until I finally caught on, slapping my forehead in shame. It wasn't bad enough I was transformed into a woman. I had to be transformed into a woman with excruciatingly painful menstrual periods.

Our conversation was rudely interrupted by Rainbow Dash, bursting through the front door, which bounced off of my knees where I was seated crosslegged against the wall, and carrying straight to the back wall, knocking over Zecora's pot in the process. The zebra and I had been discussing our very different receptions in Ponyville, but now she was rising in alarm and anger at the sudden intrusion, our conversation abandoned.

"Hold it right there, enchantress! Don't move a muscle!" Pinkie Pie demanded, more seriously than I had ever heard her, while leveling her canon at the zebra's head. I wasn't sure whether to expect another burst of confetti or if she had actually armed it with something dangerous this time. Either way it looked to be serving the purpose of intimidating my newest friend quite well.

Rarity's outfit fit the description I had given her of Tifa's typical wardrobe, the black shorts hugging her ass and somehow highlighting it more than being naked, while the white tank top blended a bit with her fur, giving it a bit different texture and just enough protection to keep the dirt off her and little else. The leather boots on her forehooves resembled gloves as best they could, while her hind boots looked more serious. A pair of large needles hovered at her side, firelight gleaming off the deadly sharp points. "Where's our human? Speak quickly before we have to get unfriendly."

Fluttershy drifted in behind them without a word, looking around worriedly. She spotted me almost right away and approached me with obvious relief. "Oh, Cloud! Thank goodness you're okay. You are okay, aren't you?" I nodded to her. It didn't seem like the others heard her though.

"You dare to threaten in my home, e'en deep within this wild biome? This friendliness of which you speak, your case for it is awfully weak! Cloud did ail, and I did aid, even-" Zecora began, before being interrupted by a loud burst of confetti.

"Quick, stop her before she entrances us all!" Pinkie shouted, as Rarity and Rainbow Dash moved to attack.

"Stand down!" I shouted, stopping them with a phrase. "Atten-tion!" Soon all four mares were sitting stifly, Pinkie and Rainbow soluting, though only Rainbow and Fluttershy were actually facing in my direction.

"Cloud!" Rainbow said, tackling me into the wall with a flying hug. "You're okay? Or are you?" she said, looking at Zecora suspiciously. "When did you get here?"

"She was sitting behind the door," Fluttershy pointed out, now that it was quiet enough to hear her.

"Zecora, the zebra here, brought me back here to help me," I explained. "We were just having a conversation when you all rudely interrupted. How did you even find this place?"

"We just followed the trail of blood," Rainbow said. "I thought for sure you were in deep trouble, between that and watching the witch take you out with just a glance. Sorry I ditched you back there... I couldn't risk her taking me down before we could get backup."

"It's alright," I said, petting her mane. "Zecora didn't take me down, it was just menstrual cramps."

"Oh, you poor thing," Fluttershy said, "you didn't mention that women have that problem when we first spoke."

"What are you talking about now?" Rainbow questioned.

"Men don't usually discuss those things, so I didn't remember them. Mares don't have that problem?" I asked.

"No, we have an estrus cycle instead," Fluttershy pointed out.

"Why are we talking about that, now?" Rarity asked, confused. "Is it Cloud's time? What does that have to do with doubling over in pain?"

"It's a whole other awkward discussion we can have later," I suggested. "For now let's just say it was a bad time of month to have a date. For now, we have a few injustices we need to address, starting with your destruction of Zecora's home. And ending with fixing her unearned reputation."

"Well what can you expect darling, with her always dressed like, that," Rarity said.

"And it probably doesn't help that the whole town saw her take you down with just a glance," Rainbow added. "Even if it wasn't technically her doing."

"Then we'll just have to 'defeat' her," I said. "It worked for Nightmare Moon."

"I know not what it is you plan, but if it will remove my ban," Zecora began. "I'll trust you to do what you think right, and repay all your debts this night."

The town gathered before us, as Mayor Mare led off the public announcement.

"... and thanks to our amazing heroes, the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony, the evil witch has been purified, and is now happy to join us as a good and trustworthy member of society, much like Princess Luna before her!"

There was a bit of uncertain cheering, before Zecora and I went up to the podium. The girls and I were wearing our Elements for the event, making it that much more official.

"I thank you all, for welcoming me, to come here from my home among the trees. I want no harm for any of you, not injury nor even flu. If any aid I can provide, call for me and I'll rush to your side," she offered. The cheers were a bit louder and more sincere this time.

"Are there any questions?" I asked, not really having anything to add.

After a delay, a pony with a small card saying 'Press' on his hat spoke up. "Miss Strife, I note that the Bearer of the Element of Honesty was still in the hospital. How were you able to purify the witch with only five elements."

"We were able to defeat the dragon without Kindness," I pointed out. "We don't always need all six for every mission. And I think my friends here would all agree, we were able to deal with this issue well enough without Honesty."

Chapter 10: Swarm of the Century

It turned out there wasn't anyplace I could just buy or rent in Ponyville. Twilight had been fortunate that the previous librarian had left town, leaving the living space within the library open. Some other ponies were doubled up throughout town, and I certainly could have sought out a roommate to get out of the Apples' home, but that seemed like a lateral move. I'd rather simply pay the Apples a bit of rent, to compensate them for staying there so long.

I tried that, actually, but they refused, pointing out the guest room was often used for guest workers, and that I had fulfilled that role since I had been there. Aside from Applejack's little fit of pride a while back, that was true, so I let it go. But that still didn't solve my problem of needing a place to live where I could relieve myself freely, or better yet have a date come in and join me. Things hadn't gone smoothly with Rainbow Dash and I, but that didn't mean I was resigned to being celibate. I was, however, uncomfortable trying anything surrounded by my host family.

Even getting land to build on seemed to be pretty much a dead end. Apparently, I could claim a chunk of the Everfree if I were so inclined, but it would be up to me to fight back the incursions of nature in order to actually build there. Between my SOLDIER background, and knowing two ponies who lived in or near the Everfree, I wasn't too worried. Maybe I could clear something near Fluttershy's cottage, and hire some help to build something there.

Heck, any random monster attacks would probably be more of a feature than a problem.

On my way out from town hall, armed with the knowledge and forms I would need to make my claim official once I had cleared it and begun construction, I ran into Pinkie Pie, wandering around in search of something. She had a large brass horn of some kind held in her mouth for some reason; part of a prank, perhaps? Seeing me, she brightened up and hurried over, speaking clearly despite the metal tube in her mouth. "Cloud! I'm so glad I found you! I need help! I need to find some more musical instruments, stat!"

"What's the prank?" I asked, assuming she was inviting me to help, just as Rainbow Dash had helped her prank me in the past. If RD was the victim, it'd settle that debt at least. Well, one part. Perhaps Dash and I could then settle it completely with a suitable prank on Pinkie.

"No prank!" Pinkie insisted. "Ponyville is being invaded! By parasprites," she said, abject disgust filling the last word.

"And... they're vulnerable to musical instruments?" I asked. It sounded dubious, but there were monsters in my world with strange weaknesses. Heck, undead could be killed with healing magic. Was a weakness to music that much stranger?

"No, no. They love it," she explained as I followed her, physically if not mentally. "We need to lure them back out to the Everfree before they eat everything in Ponyville!" Ah! Now it made sense.

"Got it. I think the Apples have a few instruments. I'll start there. And I think Octavia and Vinyl Scratch probably have something that can help," I suggested. "Split up and meet back at Sugarcube Corner?"

She met my fist with a hoof as we nodded in agreement, before splitting up. This seemed easy enough so far. I took off running, still not fully understanding the threat we were facing. But I had been given a plan by someone who did understand it, and if there's one thing the military taught you to do it was execute on a plan that was never fully explained. The mako coursing through my muscles gave a bit of light euphoria as I ran, clearing the distance to Sweet Apple Acres rather quickly.

Applejack was in the orchards, fortunately close to the road when I passed, and I slowed to a stop as I came to check on her. She was bucking the last straggling apples free of her trees before winter was scheduled to arrive, and looked pained doing it. "Cloud!" she said, looking relieved at the excuse for a break. "What's got you all in a tizzy?"

"I need to help Pinkie Pie with a parasprite problem. Got any musical instruments we can borrow?" I said, jogging in place near her to keep the muscles warmed up.

"What's a parasprite?" she asked, only to receive a shrug. "I've got a harmonica and I think Big Mac has a banjo somewhere. Just bring them back in one piece," she requested. "Good luck with those para-whatsits."

Thanking her, I took my leave, soon to arrive at the place I had called home since arriving in this realm. It was strange to think that I might be leaving it behind sometime soon. Though perhaps not all that soon. I let myself into Applejack's room, mindful of the trust that implied, and began looking around. I had hoped the harmonica would be obvious, out on a table somewhere, but sadly it wasn't. That meant looking through drawers. I was briefly afraid of stumbling upon the mare's panty drawer before laughing to myself about all the ways that fear was currently absurd.

Finally, I found it in a drawer in her night stand, filled with a wide variety of miscellany. I stopped by the bathroom to wash it off a bit, as a matter of basic hygiene before the thought occurred to me of not washing it. Reminded of my lust fueled dream, I briefly imagined sharing the harmonica like a sort of indirect kiss. Then I realized that was stupid; if I wanted a kiss from Applejack I should request a real one. If she wasn't inclined to say 'yes', what good was a bullshit 'indirect kiss'? Besides, it might well be Pinkie that actually ended up playing the instrument.

That still left me to find the banjo. Big Mac hadn't actually invited me into his room, nor given permission to use the instrument. But if this was as big of an emergency as Pinkie's tone had suggested, I could afford to ask forgiveness after the fact. I opened the door to the stallion's room and then froze.

He froze as well, mid-stroke, and within seconds I was certain my skin had matched his fur color. "Hi, Big Mac, can I borrow your banjo?" I asked, voice cracking a bit as I tried to stay on task and ignore the elephant in the room.

"Eeyup," he answered simply, remaining frozen until I had claimed my prize and closed the door behind me. Welp. On the plus side, I no longer had any lust for the stallion. Mako infused super soldier or not, I was quite certain that 'weapon' would rip me in half on the first thrust.

On the down side, I tripped more than once on my way back to town, too distracted by the image now burned irrevocably in my mind, and running the mental calculations on what the proportions should look like on some of the smaller stallions in town.

I still managed to find my way to Vinyl and Octavia's home without incident, and knocked on the door. The pulsing sounds within halted after the third knock, and a few moments later the white unicorn opened the door, looking up at me from behind her shades.

"Hi, Vinyl. We've got a parasprite problem. Got any instruments you can lend us to lure them out?" I asked.

"Got someone who knows the jam?" she questioned.

"Pinkie Pie," I replied, only for her to close the door in my face. I blinked in surprise, trying to decide whether to knock again, give up, or try some other tack, before she opened the door again, dragging a pile of equipment with her on a little wheeled cart.

"Let's rock," she said.

Sugarcube Corner was a devastated by the time we arrived. Finally seeing the monsters face to face, I had to admit they were actually kind of cute looking, aside from when the little fluffballs gave birth by puking out a new one. The Cakes were trying desperately to shoo them off from the baked goods, but it was a losing battle. Most of their inventory was gone already, and the kitchen was overrun. They would need to replace not only the day's baked goods but even the ingredients for the days ahead.

Looking around at the other buildings I was terrified to see that some of the other parts of the swarm had moved on from eating conventional edibles and started eating the buildings themselves, and everything else.

"Ready?" Pinkie asked, decked out in an eclectic mix of instruments.

"Ready," Vinyl said as she turned on her amplifier, pointing the microphone toward the party mare.

"Let's rock," I said, repeating Vinyl's line as I drew my sword, ready to protect our vital equipment.

Pinkie started in on a song that was at once alien, and at the same time eerily familiar. It was like those commercials for the Golden Saucer, only remixed onto a bizarre set of instruments.

"This seems oddly familiar," I commented.

"Well, you being here changes music a lot," Pinkie replied cryptically. I tried to get her to clarify, but she was too busy playing the harmonica. And soon I was too busy fighting off overeager fluffballs. Most I was able to bat away with the flat of my blade, but a few I had to quickly light on fire with my materia to keep them from eating the speakers. It was a tough battle, but above all it was a weird battle.

We backed our way through town, our pace increasing as the mob following us grew in size, happily hopping along after us with terrifying manic grins on their faces.

As we approached the Everfree, we passed by Fluttershy's cottage, only for a fresh swarm to bust down her door, flowing out and surrounding us. I was running out of magical energy, without an ether to my name, and my sword could only do so much against a swarm like this. What I wouldn't give for an All materia about then! The situation was looking grim, but we were so close.

Vinyl's equipment shorted out as one of the parasprites found a new way to light itself on fire. Specifically by chewing on the cords that made her rig work. The unicorn switched to using telekinesis to swat the fuzzballs away from Pinkie as the mare continued her song, bringing as many of the creatures as she could down the path out into the woods.

With Vinyl covering Pinkie, I switched to taking out stragglers, assaulting the few that had lost interest in Pinkie's music. One in particular seemed to be hovering about Fluttershy's door frame, seeming like it might rush back in at any moment.

Tapping into my mako, I sprinted for it, cutting through a field of blue flowers in my haste. Reaching out a hand, I grabbed it before it could escape. It screamed at me from within my hand, and I screamed back, alarmed by the pulse of power that started to arc between us, unbidden.

The world seemed to rip away from us, feeling all to similar to when I first put on the bra. But this time I remained conscious, aware as I slipped into the world between worlds, the indescribable, chaotic nothingness. But I couldn't pay attention to my surroundings; they refused. Instead I focused on the creature in my hand as it seemed to compress, to become smoother. Threads of connection arced out from it into an ever expanding web, tying it to the swarm somehow. I didn't really understand. Not consciously. But I did in some, deep, sense. The same sense that granted magic when I held materia. Like the red orb now resting on my palm.

The world reasserted itself around me, quietly. So quietly I managed to hear Fluttershy as she whispered. "Um, what is that, miss Cloud?"

"A summon materia," I explained, though I had no idea how I had manage to acquire, or perhaps make, one. I did easily recognize the red orb for what it was though, as I took a moment to slot it into the hilt of my sword.

"Oh," she said. "And what happened to the parasprite?" she asked.

After a minute of not coming up with an answer, Vinyl and Pinkie approached and reiterated her question. "What happened to all the parasprites?"

I didn't have a real answer. "We accomplished our mission," I declared. "Ponyville is no longer in danger."

Fluttershy surprised me by cringing, hiding herself behind her mane and apologizing softly.

Over tea, we learned of Fluttershy's involvement in the crisis, how she had encountered a single, lone parasprite during her morning chores the day before and adopted it, unaware of the threat the creatures posed. They apparently reproduced with terrifying speed if given access to food, leaving more and more hungry mouths desperate for nourishment. Nopony present knew how or why they had acquired a taste for architecture, but that was just one more reason to worry about them. We still had the mystery of just how they had vanished, as well. Had they all been dragged into the Summon Materia somehow? It would certainly make for a more dangerous weapon than merely summoning one of the little fluffballs if they had. But I also had to worry about my apparent ability to stuff creatures into little red balls. What if I accidentally did it to a pony?

Did I have to be afraid to lay my hands on anypony? Wouldn't that make any kind of sexual or even romantic relationship a lot more difficult? I already had enough to worry about in that department!

A knocking on the door interrupted us. Fluttershy went to check, only to call me to the door.

"Oh, so you are here, Cloud," said the pegasus mail mare. Bubble-butt, I had named her internally, knowing her only by cutie mark. "Princess Celestia is at the Golden Oak Library and would like you to come and meet with her as soon as possible. Shall I tell her you're on your way?"

"Yes," I said, gathering my things a final sip of tea. "Should I bring the other Element Bearers?"

"She didn't say," Bubble-butt replied with a shrug. "See you around!" she excused herself, giving me a last wall-eyed smile before taking flight.

"I'm in trouble, aren't I," Fluttershy said from under her table.

"Come on," I said. "I'll protect you if I have to. But I don't think the Princess is here to arrest you. Especially since she only summoned me specifically."

Despite accompanying me as far as town, my companions soon fled when they saw the state of Ponyville. Pinkie Pie was especially concerned about the Cakes, and Fluttershy claimed she couldn't stand to stand by while somepony needed help like this. I suspected she was still worried about the Princess punishing her, but she did have a point. I, on the other hand, had a royal summons.

When I reached the library, alone, I approached the doors, only to be stopped briefly by a pair of pegasus guards in shining, golden armor. Glancing at their spears, I doubted they could take me in a fight, but I wasn't here to make trouble. I didn't much like their attitude, though, as they sniggered while confirming my name. If this was the level of discipline among the royal guard? It didn't bode well for the kingdom.

Celestia was sitting behind a table, enjoying some tea and cakes. "Ah, Cloud. So good to finally see you in person again. I admit, you are a lot different than I remembered, but then there was a lot going on the night we first met. Come, have a seat."

Twilight trotted out of the kitchen only to gasp ominously at me, ducking back into the kitchen.

"What was that about?" I questioned as I took a seat. With no answer forthcoming, I turned my attention to the ruler of Equestria. "It's good to see you again, as well. I trust your sister is behaving herself?"

"That seems a rude way to put it regarding a grown mare, but yes. I can't tell you what a joy it is to have my sister back after her long banishment. I must thank you for your part in that, though it was surprising to me. I had expected Twilight and her friends to handle the matter, truthfully," she said.

"Twilight doesn't have any friends. Or at least she didn't... I suppose her sleepover with us in the hospital counts for something," I said. "She does need to spend a bit more time away from the books, despite the great value of what she does here."

"Of that, you and I can agree," the princess conceded. "I hope we can come to some other agreements as well."

"We have much to discuss. Where did you want to start," I invited.

Her magic poured me a cup of tea and set a small slice of cake on a dainty little cup before me. I sipped carefully, nervously. High stakes didn't bother me, dealing with a ruler was out of the norm for me but nothing an ex-SOLDIER leading an elite mercenary group armed with powerful artifacts ought to be daunted by. But the teaparty aspect just shoved me so far out of my element, it left me unbalanced. Wasn't I supposed to extend one of my fingers while I grip the handle? Which one?! Ponies don't have fingers, so maybe she wouldn't notice. Or maybe it would make it even weirder. I pushed thoughts about extended fingers out of my mind and focused on the princess and our negotiations.

"The issue with the dead dragon is rather a complicated one, geopolitically, you know. As a foreign national, simply putting him to death without trial is a rather bad precedent. However, he was endangering others rather recklessly, and dragons do tend to take these sort of things better than most races. It doesn't hurt that their absolute dictator is susceptible to bribes. That's where most of the deceased's seized assets ended up, you know," Celestia explained.

"I apologize, on behalf of my team. He did attack first, but due to a... discipline issue within our ranks, we bear some responsibility for provoking him," I chose my words carefully. "We will be more careful to avoid putting the crown in such a situation in the future." Inwardly, though, I was quite troubled. The dragon had been a person, not merely a monster? That put the situation in a very different light. Of course... I knew Spike, even if not well. Did I really have any excuse for not recognizing the one as every bit the person the other was?

"Thank you, Cloud," she said with a small, brief smile. "Then we should, perhaps move to other topics. Your pay, for example. Your fee for that mission was rather steep, could we negotiate a more agreeable going rate?"

"That depends," I said, feeling a bit more comfortable with this topic. "If you only want to pay when there's a crisis, we need enough pay to cover our bills between crises, including purchase and maintenance of our equipment, and paying for the time we spend training and preparing, not just the time we actually spend handling the crisis. And since we don't know how often things will crop up, we need to charge enough during the busy times to cover the slow times."

The large mare sipped her tea while I spoke, nodding slightly. "You said 'if'. You have an alternative to propose?"

"We could, instead, negotiate a salary. I imagine that is how your regular guards work?" I was reminded of the undisciplined response from the guards outside. Was a human really that funny looking to them? "Or we could combine the two, with a portion of our pay covering training time and maintenance while a portion is earned each time we step in to deal with a problem."

"I will, of course, need to discuss any such arrangements with my ministers, you understand," she said, "but I prefer the pure salary approach."

I nodded even as I groaned quietly. She had steered things that way too quickly. While it would be nice to have a dependable income, that told me she anticipated a lot of crises to come.

"We'll do half and half," I said. "3500 bits per crisis, to be split between those active in the mission, and 3500 bits per month, 500 for each of us to cover ongoing concerns."

"And who decides what's a crisis?" she countered. "You and your friends seem to step in unbidden rather frequently. For that matter, what if one of you creates the crisis in the first place?"

I tried not to flinch... I'm not sure if I succeeded. Did she already know about Fluttershy's involvement in the parasprite incident? "7000 if you send a missive directing us to intervene. 3500 per crisis we intercept on our own initiative, subject to your review. And 3500 a month."

"Half that, on all counts," the princess countered. "And any issue you seek to be paid for will require a full report, including accounts from each member of your team involved. You will have to allow two weeks after delivery for the pay to be approved, and a third for it to be funded to your bank account. Remember also, when you are acting under my orders you have some protection from the law, but when you act on your own accord you will be fully responsible for your choices. Choose wisely."

"If you want cut-rate mercenaries, I'm sure you can find somepony else," I suggested. "But I thought you were interested in hiring Ponyville's elites."

"I was hoping for somepony with a bit more interest in the common good," she countered, using a sip of tea as a pause. "Of course if all you care about is money?"

'Honestly. Freedom sure is pricey,' I heard. Or rather remembered. It was all out of context, needlessly distracting. Who had even said that? "Freedom can be pricey," I told Celestia. "You can't expect to keep your ponies safe if you aren't even willing to put up the bits. Besides, our last mission was quite a boon for the treasury, was it not?"

She perked her ears a bit, I guess maybe she noticed my distraction? That wasn't good. "I suppose it was. Still, those 'busy' times could get quite expensive. Half the fees you mentioned, but double the salary. That should cover your bills and training time well enough, should it not?"

"Agreed," I said at last, reaching out a hand to shake her hoof. When her hoof bumped mine rather than entering my grasp, I looked down in curiosity that quickly turned to shock. It was no wonder I hadn't grasped her hoof: I had no fingers! My entire hand had become some strange cube-like abstraction. Looking up my arm, I saw the blockish shape continue up my bicep before tapering back down to a freakishly thin elbow. My upper arm was much the same, a handful of polygons making up the limb.

"I... forgive me, I need to use the restroom," I excused hastily, somehow managing to get to my feet despite my bizarre blockish legs seeming to pass impossibly through one another. I fled to the restroom, as promised, closing the door behind me before moving to stand before the door.

"I'll have the contracts written up and sent to Twilight," Princess Celestia called through the door, a tinge of humor seeping into her voice. I was a bit relieve to hear her footsteps clopping away.

I stared at the mirror, not recognizing what I saw before me. The eyes were simple ovals of pure blue, and I felt lucky to have a mouth, even if it looked painted on, and seemed incapable of actually opening. I had no nose, and my face as a whole looked like a sphere, while everything else about me seemed to be made of mashed together blocks. My hair gave me some comfort simply for being slightly harder to describe geometrically, but it to had been fused into a mishmash of yellow triangles.

A light knocking reached me from the bathroom door. "Are you okay, Cloud?" Twilight questioned.

"No, I'm not okay. What's happening to me?!" I asked, freaking out. Being whisked from my world and turned into a woman had been far less traumatic. At least I understood what a woman was.

Twilight came in and looked me over. "You appear to have been rendered in an abstractionist fashion, artistically speaking," she offered unhelpfully.

"How do I fix it?" I asked more practically.

"I don't know!" she said, before remembering she was in a library. She left me alone and started scouring her books, looking for anything in any way relevant.

I sunk to the floor, amazed I could even do that much, and tried to cry. But failed.

Chapter 11: Poison Joke

Twilight searched her library for hours to no avail, finding nothing on the strange curse that now afflicted me. "There's nothing in any of these books about magic or monsters that can turn somepony blocky like that. Maybe it was something in the Everfree forest that got to you?" she suggested.

"Maybe. We should check with Pinkie and Vinyl," I said. "They were with me when we lead the parasprites into the woods. They were fine when we parted ways, but it may have taken some time to kick in." I sighed before saying what I was afraid to say. "Gather the girls. Check on Vinyl, but only bring her if she's having trouble as well. They should all know what's happened to me. I don't want to make this public though, and risk a scare. You know how badly Ponyville's ponies reacted to Zecora, and all she's ever done wrong is combine poor fashion sense with an insistence on rhyming everything she says."

Twilight giggled lightly at my summary of our new Zebrican friend. "I'll go get them, you just stay here. Spike will keep you company."

"Are you sure it's safe to leave me with her?" Spike asked Twilight.

"Of course, Spike! Cloud is our friend, she wouldn't hurt you. And I'm pretty sure it's not contagious," Twilight said.

"Yeah, but... dragonslayer," he said quietly enough he might have thought I couldn't hear him. Of course, Fluttershy had been training my ears better than he had been training his tongue.

"Technically Rainbow Dash is credited with the final blow," Twilight began before realizing that wasn't what was needed and laying a hoof on her adopted son. She gave him a light kiss on the head. "Anyways, Cloud is sworn to protect all the citizens of Ponyville, aren't you Cloud? Even my little Spike here?"

"It's in my contract with Celestia," I said. I wasn't sure if he was a citizen, but he was Twilight's assistant, and that made him part of our team. "No rampage, no problem. Deal?"

Spike considered me thoughtfully before finally nodding in agreement. He approached me and reached out a clawed hand. "Alright. Put err there," he said. I narrowed my eyes at him, and after a moment he looked at my blockish hands, rubbed his own hand behind his head and laughed sheepishly.

"Well, now that that's settled, I'd better get going. Stay safe, you two." And with that she was gone. Simply pulsing out of existence in a flash of purple light, rather than walking out the door like a normal pony.

"Could she always teleport like that?" I asked.

"As long as I can remember," Spike admitted. "Sorry about the handshake thing... can you believe I forgot?"

"Can you believe it's not about the blockishness?" I countered. I drew my sword to look at the hilt, but the individual materia were lost in the rectangle that was the hilt. I could still feel their power, though. Sighing I put it back. "When we were finishing up, I grabbed hold of the last of the parasprites, a straggler that was resisting the music. When I grabbed it, something strange happened. It... turned into a summon materia. I can call it back now, with a bit of magic. But I don't know how I did that, why it worked. If I had the same effect on you, just from shaking your hand... Well, Twilight would never forgive me for one. But I don't think I would forgive myself, either."

"Wow... that's pretty heavy," Spike said, defying his apparent youth by seeming to grasp the gravity of it. "Thanks, then. For not taking that risk, I mean. Are you sure it won't work on ponies?"

"I don't think it will, but I didn't expect it to happen with the parasprites either," I admitted. We were quiet for a few minutes before I thought of something else to ask about. "So, anything exciting in your life?"

"Not really," he started before admitting. "I have a date with Sweetie Belle coming up. It's not until spring... the Grand Galloping Gala," he clarified. "But I really hope it goes well."

"The trees haven't even shed their leaves, and you're waiting until spring for your first date?" I questioned.

"The leaves will be down the day after tomorrow," he pointed out with the bizarre certainty that weather ponies allowed. "You think that's a mistake? I just want it to be special..." he said shyly.

"I'm sure it still will be if it's not your first date," I said. "Have you two spent any time together?"

"Yes," he answered quickly before more slowly elaborating. "No, not really. I mean, a few minutes here or there, usually when I bump into her on errands. Honestly, I usually get too nervous and tongue tied whenever I'm near her."

"And you think that will go over well at the Gala?" I teased. "You two are kids. Invite her out to do some kid stuff together."

"Kids?" he asked questioningly.

"Um..." what did ponies call them? "Foals. Children. Just have a fun time together. Don't let too much ride on it. Just make sure she has a fun time spending time with you. There'll be plenty of time to get heavy and dramatic when you're grown."

"I'm not that young," he huffed with all the defiance of a child, earning a giggle from me in return. "Well, okay, but I'm awfully mature for my age."

"Older women- mares like to be shown a good time too," I explained. I closed my eyes thinking back to my date with Rainbow Dash. "And don't forget to pay attention to her. I know you're going to want to try to impress her with how awesome you are, but take some time to acknowledge what makes her someone you want to spend more time with."

"Well, I am pretty awesome, but that shouldn't be too hard. Have you seen Sweetie Belle?" Spike said. He clearly saw more to her than I did, which would serve him well under the circumstances.

"Only in passing, but I've seen what she's likely to grow up into. By the time she does, if you're what she thinks of when she thinks about having a good time, every stallion in Ponyville is going to be jealous of you. I guarantee it," I said.

"You'd stake your life on it?" he asked, teasingly.

"Let's not joke about things like that," I said. "Some of them might be gay," I added jokingly.

"What's that mean?" he asked.

Luckily, the door burst open, saving me from that discussion. Rainbow Dash and Applejack burst through as one, before declaring themselves winners in unison and then breaking into a growling match. Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy and Twilight followed in more civilly.

"Will you two settle down and behave yourselves?" Rarity demanded.

"Yeah, you're in a library," Spike mentioned. "Try to keep it down."

"Why? There isn't anypony trying to read or nothin'," Applejack pointed out.

"Not unless you want to settle this with a speedreading contest?" Rainbow Dash challenged.

"Do you even know how to read?" Applejack countered.

"Do you?" Rainbow shot back.

"Girls! Girls! Settle down," Twilight said.

That didn't get their attention, though, as well as Pinkie's massive gasp as she caught sight of me. The pink mare was, at least, seemingly unafflicted. And for that matter, Vinyl hadn't joined them, so perhaps I was the only victim after all.

"Oh my goodness, what happened to you, Cloud?!" Fluttershy inquired as she came to look me over sympathetically. "You look just awful."

"That's an understatement, Fluttershy," Rarity concurred. "Why I don't think there's any way I could make this look good if I tried."

"We're still not sure," I admitted. "It happened sometime on my way from the parasprite incident to the library. I didn't notice anything strange along the way, so it could be a delayed reaction from something in the Everfree, or even the parasprites themselves. I thought you should all see for yourselves so you know what's going on. Twilight's library didn't come up with anything, any of you have any ideas?"

"Oh, I know! What about your monthly visitor?" Pinkie Pie inquired.

The common euphemism made me think of that agonizing period I had had, which in turn reminded me of the zebra she meant to refer to. I really hoped that nickname didn't stick. "That's a good idea. Zecora lives in the Everfree, and she knows her way around some rare medicines. Once the sun goes down, I can make my way there to see if she has any help to offer."

"Are you all sure she's trustworthy?" Applejack questioned. "I mean, I know y'all purified her with the Elements and whatnot, but I wasn't there with mine, so... maybe the jobs only, you know, most of the way done?"

"Zecora's fine," I attested. "She's helped me before, I'm sure she'll help again if she can."

"Help you with what?" Applejack asked, curiously.

I blushed, opening my mouth a moment before closing it. I traded a look with Fluttershy, who tried to step in to save me. "Well, you see, when a woman gets to be a certain age and her body starts to prepare itself for joining with a special somepony..."

"Weird human stuff, got it," Applejack said, clearly not wanting more details.

"It's not that weird," Fluttershy countered, "several species of primates undergo the same pro-"

"Cool it Flutters," Rainbow Dash said sticking her tongue out. "I'm dating that mare, I don't want to know things like that." She didn't seem to notice my glare or slight, annoyed growl.

Still, it was time to step in. "Alright. So, I'm heading to Zecora's hut to seek help. Anypony coming with me? If she can't help, I'll probably stay in the Everfree until we can find a solution."

"I'm going with you. I'll judge this 'zebra' for myself," Applejack insisted.

"I'll go along, if it's okay with you. It's not that far from my home," Fluttershy offered.

"Just don't be late for our competition tomorrow," Rainbow Dash said, mostly to Applejack.

I was annoyed as we set out. Rainbow hadn't won any points with me by claiming we were dating without bothering to do anything to back that up. Coming with us might have helped, but even a few kind words my way would have counted for something. And for that matter: "what's going on between you and Rainbow Dash?" I asked, once we had gotten on our way.

"Oh, you know Rainbow. She can be just so darn competitive. She tried to outdo me in repairing the damage from the parasprite attack, but when it was clear all her fancy flying couldn't make up for good ole' hard work, she went and challenged me to an 'iron pony' competition instead. We'll be competin' tomorrow. But don't you worry your spikey little head about it none, it's all in good fun," Applejack assured. "Now what's all this about you datin' her? I thought that was just a dare."

"That's what I thought too," I said. "If she wants another chance, she'll have to try a lot harder than last time. Dating isn't just about telling the other person how awesome you are..."

"I reckon you're right there," Applejack said. "Heck, I've seen enough of you in action to know any mare, or stallion, would be lucky to have you as their special somepony."

"Thanks, AJ," I said. "Now if Dash could see fit to slip lines like that into our dates, things might be going a lot smoother for us right now."

The cowpony nuzzled my blocky hand lightly as we walked, making me wish I could stroke her mane properly in response. The same heat spread through me as when Hammer Time had touched my hand, leaving me to second guess Applejack's intentions as we walked. I did my best to shove such thoughts aside. My dating life was complicated enough without thinking about my host family like that.

I knocked on the door to Zecora's hut, even as Applejack looked around warily.

"This sure ain't the most inviting looking place to live," she pointed out.

"Not everywhere can be an apple orchard," I countered.

"Enter now, peacefully, please. Moving gently as a breeze," Zecora bid. As if on cue, a faint, chilly breeze swept by us, unseasonably cold for fall.

"That's a mighty long-winded way of saying 'hello'," Applejack said as she entered. She wasn't quite as gentle as a breeze, but nothing broke on her way in, so it was a clear improvement from Rainbow's previous entry.

"My entryway remains intact, I thank you humbly for that fact," Zecora rhymed. "What brings you to my humble home," she began before catching sight of me and breaking beat. "Cloud, you are clearly unwell, do you know with what you swell?"

"I was hoping you would know, Zecora," I said. "Something did this to me earlier tonight, after we brought the parasprites out to the woods."

The zebra considered me for a bit, sniffing at me, including uncomfortable close to my face. "I feel I should have warned you before, though perhaps you would ignore. Leaves of blue, flower like oak, you've been touching Poison Joke. Let go your fear and stay your wrath, the cure comes in the form of bath. Herbs mixed right within the water, heated well and stirred one hour, most I have the rest you will purchase within Ponyville."

"Thank you for your help, Zecora," Fluttershy offered, earning a smile from the zebra.

After a knock on the spa's door, Aloe opened the way with a brief yawn, before looking up. "Quake..." she called out.

When the summoned stallion came into view, he gave me one look. "I know I 'say' my massages are magical," he stated. "But even I can't be expected to work miracles."

Zecora pushed her way lightly inside. "Those services are not required, which is not to say they aren't desired. A bath we need; full body soaking to end the flowers' poisonous joking."

"I need to use your bath," I simplified. "Zecora has some herbs I need to soak in to clear this up."

"Oh! Well, why didn't she say so. We're normally closed by now, but we can make an exception," the pink mare pointed out. "I'll go start preparing it. Zecora, was it? Can you bring the herbs?"

"Massages, you say?" I inquired of the stallion as we were left alone. It might not have been relevant to the cure, but it was a perfectly tempting use for my bits, once my situation was resolved.

My friends and I all enjoyed a good long soak in the hot tub; while I was the only one in actual need of the herbal remedy, it was also apparently quite good for the skin and fur, and relaxing as well.

“Miss Zecora, I would love to get the recipe for this bath. It's simply luxurious!” Lotus Blossom mentioned with a light splash as she enjoyed the soak with us.

"Maybe you should become their supplier," I suggested, as I lifted my hand before my face and took a moment to appreciate each separate, distinct finger. "Now that the shops in town are actually open to you, I'm sure you could use a few bits."

"If more visits you'll have from me, I will bring my recipe," Zecora told Lotus. A light clop signaled their agreement.

After the soak, the others went home but I stayed behind, offering Quake a bit extra for his services so late into the night. After the day I had, I really needed the services of a talented masseur.

It turned out to also be a chance to help train myself to stop overreacting to everything. I laid myself down on the massage table, naked aside from the towel I was laying upon. I repeated to myself over and over that I was living in a society of mostly nudists, where, if anything, wearing clothes tended to have sexually suggestive overtones.

Be that as it may, being touched on my naked skin was a whole other level of intimacy, one I had gotten very little of during my time here. Fortunately, his touches were both hard and fast, hooves striking down on my sore muscles with speed and precision. It felt like a stampede running over my back, which fortunately felt exactly unlike a lover's caress. The unsensuality of it all helped me to relax a bit, finally fully accepting that there was nothing untoward going on.

"Can you do that a little harder?" I asked. One trouble of being toughened by mako exposure was that it was harder for a massage to break through that tension.

"I'll try, but you might need Bulk Biceps to give you a deep tissue massage," Quake said before kicking it up a notch. His hoof strikes started to come less quickly, putting more force into each. Aah, there it was.

My relaxation vanished in an instant when he reached my butt. I tried to keep in mind that this was just a massage, and he was just being thorough, but my mind still wandered to alternatives. I started to relax as he made his way down my legs, working out far more tension than I had realized I had. My feet, especially, took a good deal of work, especially as I had been forced to go around barefoot for the weeks since my arrival. Ponies didn't really know how to make shoes for human feet, and the callouses that had naturally formed served well enough.

"Alright, flip over so I can do the front," Quake instructed. I hesitated. It was one thing for him to look at and even touch my back side, but my front? I doubted he even understood the significance of breasts. Would he avoid them? Mishandle them uncomfortably? Or make them feel way too good? And what of lower parts? I knew he was just a professional being professional about everything, and that somehow made it worse. Like a tease I wasn't ready to deal with right now.

"No," I said at length.

There was a pause as he looked at me in curious surprised before nodding. "Very well then. I do hope you are satisfied with my service."

I nodded and paid the stallion, dressing myself before taking my leave, awkward and alone. A cold breeze washed over my skin as I walked back toward Sweet Apple Acres, caressing me like a lover and doing little to cool my flushed heat. Great. Now even the wind was turning me on. I picked up the pace, rushing home for some privacy and relief.

Chapter 12: Fall Weather Friends

Our entire crew, Twilight and Spike included, gathered outside of town, where Applejack and Rainbow Dash had made preparations for their little competition. I wondered if this was what they had put all their extra bits toward. I was tempted a moment to think of it as frivolous, but then I started getting an idea.

"Twilight, would you give me some writing materials? I want to take some notes," I requested.

"Really?" she asked, giggling to herself lightly as she summoned quill, ink and parchment. "Usually I'm the only one taking notes, though I'll be too busy being the judge. At least Fluttershy offered to help keep the official tally."

"I'll explain later, just keep them honest," I said, settling in to watch from the sidelines.

The first event, the barrel weave, was incredibly close, and impressive on both counts. Applejack made great time, slolaming past the barrels, but earned a penalty for nudging one in passing. Rainbow was a second slower, surprising me, but with no penalties she earned a victory. This was perfect though, and I added it to my notes. Speed, dexterity, evasive maneuvering. As well as the general stamina gains from such aerobic activities, when extended beyond mere sprints.

The second event looked to be borrowed from a carnival: a weight was launched up a scale to a bell at the top, but unlike the human version that would use a hammer, the pony version was designed to be bucked. Applejack's victory here seemed obvious to me. Rainbow went first, ringing the bell and proving she had a descent amount of strength behind her bucks, but even as she came my way to celebrate, Applejack struck the target so hard the weight smashed through the bell, destroying it. If we were to add something like this to our training regimen, it'd need to be much stronger. And honestly, there was little stronger than the Apple family's apple trees.

The third event just seemed unnecessarily cruel: bucking as hard as they could to dislodge Spike from their back, while the little dragon loudly complained about his inclusion in the event. I wondered whether we were likely to face any adversaries that would need to be bucked free, and what other forms of grapples they should be prepared to break out of. I could be a much better opponent than Spike, and push them to higher levels of skill. I took longer writing out my notes than the mares took dislodging Spike.

The hog tying event seemed like a questionable alley for us. Applejack's skills with the rope were a clear asset, and we might need to work on developing training techniques that would help her push it farther into combat effectiveness, Rainbow was more of a danger to herself than her target, and I doubted the rest of our team would have fared that much better. Perhaps it'd be a good form of sparring between Applejack and I? I made a note. We also needed to look into more non-lethal takedowns for our whole team. If rope was a poor choice for some of us, what would work better? Would Rarity's acupuncture scale down to pony-sized combatants? And what of Fluttershy's technique that turned away the ursa major? I could probably use something other than the flat of my blade, for that matter.

As the events continued, I did my best to analyse each event as the basis for potential training methods. Some seemed better suited for certain tribes or ponies, some would clearly need some adaptation, and some were simply poor choices. But the whole process did a lot to help me understand how the differences between human and pony affected their training needs, as well as even the differences between the tribes. Not a single event was designed for flight, but Rainbow used her wings throughout in a variety of ways that pushed her well into the lead.

Applejack didn't take it kindly. Things came to a head when Rainbow Dash took flight during the final event, a game of tug-of-war. As a contest of brute force, the farmer had the clear advantage, but rather than be dragged into the mud, Rainbow took to the skies, lifting Applejack off the ground and over the mud. With neither pony actually in the mud, and neither having lost their grip, Twilight refrained from calling a winner. Applejack tried to speak through a mouthful of rope, and when that failed to convey her message, she opened her mouth and fell, losing the contest.

"Woo-hoo! I win by a landslide, or a mudslide in your case," Rainbow Dash gloated. I wasn't looking forward to her hamfisted, err... hamhooved attempts to woo me by talking up her victory. Still, she had won three-quarters of the events. "I am the iron pony!"

"Only because you cheated!" accused Applejack.

"What?!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed.

"You used your wingpower to win over half of those events," Applejack alleged as I set my notes aside and started toward them.

"Sounds like sour apples to me," Rainbow Dash said. She had a point, even if her way of making it wasn't making me happy about taking her side.

"Are you saying you didn't use your wings?" Applejack questioned.

"She's a pegasus," I pointed out. "Are you suggesting you didn't use your earth pony strength to win any of your events?"

"What, no, how would I even?" Applejack replied flustered.

"We each have our strengths. Hers include her wings," I said. "I took some notes. Starting next week, we'll be training together for a full day, once a week, to improve those strengths and shore up our weaknesses. I'll be using some of these events as a basis for your training."

"Say what now?" Applejack responded first.

"Maybe you'll be ready to be a real competitor next time," Rainbow Dash said before blowing Applejack a raspberry.

"Umm, can I be excused from any iron-pony-like training," Fluttershy inquired softly.

"No. You need it more than anypony. Don't worry about beating the athletes here; you need to improve your own ability and with it your confidence," I answered.

"We'll make it fun! Can I cater our weekly training parties? Oh, and the celebratory after-training parties?" Pinkie Pie inquired.

"Yes, but catering doesn't get you out of training," I replied.

"I see what you're trying to do, darling, but I simply cannot take that much time away from my shop so often," Rarity tried to excuse.

"Same with me and the farm," Applejack added.

"You're each being paid a thousand bits a month for preparedness. Make time. If it means you have to hire somepony to pick up the slack, or turn customers away, you can afford the loss of bits," I pointed out.

"What about me and Spike?" Twilight asked.

"You should join us when you can, but you're our researchers, so you'll have other things you can be doing to help the team," I explained.

"I'll come to the next one, at least. Maybe I can research improvements in your training process?" she suggested.

"Great, so now the egghead is going to tell us how to be better athletes?" Rainbow Dash complained. "Do I tell you how to read?"

"Dash, you need to cool that attitude of yours," I said, voicing my annoyance. "Twilight's job description in our team is to read up on how we can be better at what we do. You will give her the respect she deserves, just as she respects your athleticism. Got it?"

Dash balked at the rebuke. "Some marefriend you are," she muttered under her breath. It was a good reminder of how much trouble commanding officers could cause trying to date their subordinates. It was a difficult pair of roles to do well together, some claimed impossible. But we weren't a military unit, not technically.

As she sulked off, Applejack moved to intercept her. I didn't catch what they were discussing, but I wasn't hopeful for the results.

The next day was the annual 'Running of the Leaves'. Since the harvest had come and gone, the leaves on the trees had gradually changed colors, as I expected for autumn. But unlike my home, here the leaves clung to the trees until they were knocked free. Apparently this was done by a well organized stampede; nearly all the town's ponies raced down a trail all around the town, the thundering of their hooves shaking the leaves free. I supposed it was more fun than bucking the leaves off each tree. I wasn't sure how well my own footsteps would contribute, but I was happy to join the run. It'd be a good chance to practice suppressing my mako, while pushing my pure physical limits. Doing so was a good way to help my body get more out of training, as well as improve my restraint for when I needed to take someone down non-lethally.

Looking around, I was a bit surprised at one of the participants, but Applejack voiced her surprise before I could. "Twilight? What in tarnation are you doin' here?"

"I'm racing," the librarian responded with simple confidence.

"What? You're not an athlete, you're a... well... you're an egghead," Rainbow Dash objected. She was bound in rope about her midsection, pinning her wings to her sides. Applejack's doing, I guessed. That was a bad sign. She was still sore about the iron pony competition, and that meant they'd be turning this into another competition as well. Competition didn't have to be bad, but I had a bad feeling about how things were playing out.

"Lay off, Rainbow," I interjected. "The Running of the Leaves isn't just for athletes. Most of the town is here."

"That's right, Rainbow," Twilight agreed. "The Running of the Leaves is a Ponyville tradition, and since I'm here to learn, I've decided I should experience it myself."

"Well, I think that's just dandy, Twilight. Good luck," Applejack said. It would have come across as supportive, except that she ruined it with a snicker.

"Yeah, see you at the finish line... tomorrow," Rainbow Dash piled on, before looking up at me. "At least I'll have some good company while I wait. Come on, Cloud, let's show 'em what real athletes can do."

"I won't be using any mako as I run, so I'm a bit handicapped myself," I told her.

"Like I'm not using my wings? We're still both badass, hardcore athletes," Rainbow Dash said. "I'll bet you come in second, right after me," she said with a pose I couldn't quite make sense of.

"All right ponies, are you ready?" Pinkie Pie called down from a hot air balloon.

"Get set," Spike followed up from beside her, leading the ponies on the ground and I to brace to start our run.

A bell rang out, and hooves and feet began to pound the ground as we all got into motion. Applejack and Rainbow Dash took the lead right out of the gate, with the announcers commenting on their evershifting positions. I tuned out the commentary and focused instead on what I was doing. Most of the ponies passed me: without Mako boosting me, it was hard to keep up with the quadrupeds whose bodies were designed for such forward motion. I wasn't worried. I hadn't pinned my pride on placing well. I was just enjoying a nice brisk run among the trees. Besides, I was pacing myself a bit.

I decided to pace myself just a little less when Twilight Sparkle nearly passed me, instead matching her pace. "Isn't it amazing?" she asked, as she looked around at the scenery, trotting along at a nice steady speed.

"I can't believe it," Applejack answered, as we came upon her prone form.

"What are you doing way back here?" I asked her.

She snorted fiercely as she got to her feet. "Rainbow Dash tripped me!"

I looked down, seeing the furrow where Applejack had face-planted, pointing back at a large rock in the road. "Looks like you tripped yourself on that rock," I stated.

"Did not, your marefriend tripped me!" she insisted. "Oh, hayseed, now I've got a lot of ground to make up to catch her." The farm-mare sprinted off, leaving Twilight and I behind.

"This does not bode well," I told the librarian.

"You're dating Rainbow Dash?" Twilight inquired curiously.

"That's what she's telling everypony," I said. "We went on one date, after our little truth or dare session. I didn't go that well, and she hasn't so much as asked me out on a second."

"Would you, if she asked?" she questioned.

"I honestly don't know right now," I admitted. "It'd probably depend how she asks. If she-" I shut up as I saw we were coming up upon the mare in question. She was lying prone, a few yards past a telltale tree stump.

"Guh! I don't believe it, Applejack tripped me!" the pegasus accused.

"Don't you ponies ever look where you're going? You tripped on a stump. See?" Twilight pointed out the culprit.

"Oh, I see. A big cheater is what I see. And what are you doing way back here with the egghead?" Dash demanded. "We'd both better hurry if we're going to beat Applejack!"

"Applejack isn't a cheater," I asserted. "Just watch where you're going."

"Sure she isn't," Rainbow said sarcastically. "She better just watch out, 'cause here I come." And with that she was gone, a rainbow blur left in her wake.

"This isn't going to end well," I told Twilight as we continued.

"The race or your relationship?" Twilight teased.

"Probably both," I worried.

"Whitetail Wood is just lovely, don't you think so, Cloud?" Twilight asked me as we entered a different segment of track, with notably different bark on the trees but not much else to differentiate it. Still, at this pace I could enjoy the scenery as much as any pony.

"It really is, though I'm not so sure about the loiterers. Hey, Rainbow, shouldn't you be up ahead?" I asked as we approached the mare. I frowned when I noticed she was leaning back against a sign post. That's not suspicious at all...

"I'm sure I'll win now," Rainbow said with a disturbing chuckle.

"Except that the other racers just passed you," Twilight countered.

"Oh horse apples... See ya!" Dash exclaimed, bracing to dash off. In her wake I could see the sign pointing the wrong way.

"Rainbow Dash! Attention!" I barked out, calling on my best drill sergeant voice.

"Eep!" The mare nearly fell over before getting to her hooves and saluting nervously. "Little busy with the race, boss."

"Not anymore you aren't," I said, pointing to the sign. "One of our team members has been sent off into unknown, potentially dangerous territory due to bad intelligence," I said. "An immediate rescue mission takes precedence over the competition. You will accompany me on this, immediately." I undid the rope from around her wings, and took off both her competition number and my own. "Let's go!"

"What?! You! You can't do that!" Rainbow Dash cried out. "I was just about to win!"

"What were you about to win?" I asked her with obvious condescension.

"The race, of course... and bragging rights?" she asked uncertainly, sensing something was wrong with her answer but not quite getting it yet.

"And what were you about to lose?" I asked pointedly.

"I wasn't about to lose anything! I never lose," she started before looking up the path Applejack had gone up.

"How many friends do you have?" I asked her. That got her thinking.

"Right... so. Immediate rescue mission," she finally conceded.

"Do you need my help?" Twilight asked.

"No, but thanks for asking. If you don't hear from us by sundown, organize a search party though. It shouldn't come to that, but let's have a plan for it. Now get going, you're still in the race," I said.

"Right, and it's getting toward the end. I've been pacing myself like the books said, now it's time to sprint for the finish while the others are tired," Twilight explained before getting her hooves in motion, moving much faster than she had up until that point.

"Wow, egghead actually has some hooves," Rainbow admitted. "But let's worry about another set of hooves first. Let's go find Applejack and apologize. Even if she did trip me..."

"You know, she thinks you tripped her," I told her. "Now let's go. Full speed, search and rescue. I'll trace her path on the ground, you take the high road and scout ahead." The world dimmed from my eyes as mako flowed freely, but not so much I couldn't easily make out the brilliant rainbow contrail.

"Couldn't help but cheat, could you?" Applejack accused as I came into hearing range. She had come to a stop near a cliff edge, well beyond the end of the treeline. "Where's mah rope? Maybe a proper hog-tie'll keep you honest."

"Cloud has it," Dash said. "She untied me when she took me out of the race to come find you! You went off the wrong way at the fork... which is... my fault. I'm sorry."

"If Cloud's involved, then where is she," AJ asked suspiciously before turning at the sound of my rapidly approaching feet. "Well, alright then..."

I shivered a bit as I came to a stop, glancing around as I felt like something was watching us. But there was nothing to be seen but a chill breeze rustling the fallen leaves. With nothing to act on I held my tongue, turning my attention back to my friends.

"Look, Applejack... I'm sorry. I got carried away with this whole competition, and I spun that sign around to keep you from winning. I thought you tripped me, and..." Dash began before shaking off the excuse. "I should have just played fair. But I don't want to win this lousy race if it means losing a good friend."

Applejack looked about to say something angry before her face softened. "Aw, shucks, I can't stay angry after an apology like that. Dash, I'm sorry too. I got every bit as carried away, and I was this close to doing something we would have both regretted. Friends?" She offered a hoof to the pegasus.

"Friends forever," Rainbow said, clopping her own hoof against it.

"Hey! What are you three doing way out here?!" Pinkie Pie asked as she floated by on her balloon.

"Yeah, there aren't even any trees," Spike pointed out.

"Cloud and I dropped out of the race, to come find Applejack," Rainbow said with a hint of pride before admitting more sheepishly "because I flipped the sign to send her off course.

"Can we have a ride back to town?" I asked.

We descended upon the finish line, disembarking to find that the race was over. Twilight approached with a medal hanging from her neck.

"You won?!" Applejack and Rainbow Dash asked her in utter disbelief.

"Oh no, but I did get fifth place, which is rather good considering I've never run a race before," Twilight admitted.

"Wow, your technique really paid off then, didn't it?" Rainbow asked. "Maybe you can find something useful in those books of yours," she said.

"I'm surprised the three of you, of all ponies, dropped out of the race," Princess Celestia remarked as she approached us.

"We had to deal with another discipline issue," I said. "But it's been taken care of, and we'll be better for having learned the lesson, won't we?"

"Ma'am, yes, ma'am!" Rainbow said, saluting me. Applejack awkwardly followed suit, at least with the gesture.

"I'm glad to hear it," the Princess assured. "And you're looking a lot more... detailed, today, Cloud."

"I've been successfully cured of poison joke poisoning. You didn't think I normally looked like that, did you? Anyways, what are you doing in town, Princess?" I said.

"Honestly, I wasn't certain, though I'm glad for your good health," Celestia said. "Fall is one of my favorite seasons, so I came to celebrate the Running of the Leaves. Sad to learn that a 'discipline' issue has disrupted it. Look, many of the lovely trees of Equestria are still covered with leaves."

"Why, Princess, I bet we can knock those leaves down for you lickety-split," Applejack offered. "Whaddya say, friend? Wanna go for another run?"

"I'd love to stretch my legs," Rainbow confirmed. "Cloud, will you join us? We could use another awesome runner. Especially if Applejack gets a little ahead of us," she said with a wink.

Okay, that was damn cheesy, but she was trying and that was a big improvement already. But just as I was getting into the idea of giving Rainbow a shot at another chance a fourth voice cut in.

"Great! I'll come join you," Princess Celestia invited herself.

Princess Celestia was undeniably powerful. With every hoof-fall, magic radiated out from her, making ripples pulse through the mako within me. Trees shed their leaves in a huge radius around her, rendering the rest of our presence moot. At least for the stated objectives.

"So I hear you two are dating!" she said to Rainbow Dash with all the giddiness of a schoolgirl. "What is that even like? She's so exotic."

"Yeah, well, that's why she could only possibly fall for somepony awesome like me," Rainbow responded. "I'll admit it hasn't gone as smoothly as I would have liked. Last time we went out, she had her 'monthly visitor' show up and ruin the whole thing with something awful called menstruation."

"Oh? I've heard of that. Like the red baboons get? Awful people, worst table manners in the world, but they can really spice up a diplomatic summit with their antics," Celestia responded. "Bad timing for a date, to be sure. But don't give up."

"Oh, I'm not," Rainbow Dash said, talking rather freely with the ruler and benefactor that had all the power in the world over us. "Though I do have a bit of a problem. She's not a pegasus, so she can't come over to my cloud-house, but she's living at the Sweet Apple Acres right now, so there's no real privacy at her place."

"Oh, that ain't no problem, sugarcube," Applejack helpfully volunteered. "Just take her out to the barn, and make sure to hang yer hat on the outside, so nopony will disturb you." Of course it was that simple.

"Dang, I don't have a hat. I'll have to get Rarity to help me pick one out," my self-described marefriend decided.

"Well, if you don't care for the hay, I imagine with your new salaries you can afford to take out a room at the local inn on date nights," Celestia offered. I was trying to decide whether it would be worse for them to continue talking about my sex life like I wasn't here, or direct such questions toward me. Celestia decided to help me decide with a new data point: "What do you think, Cloud? Barn or inn?"

"I think I'm going to build myself a house, with real privacy," I said with a deep crimson blush.

"Splendid!" the princess said with a happy stomp that sent shockwaves of leaf-falls into the distance. "Oh, but do make sure to review the latest building codes before you start. I've heard some complaints about your last construction efforts. Not that we don't appreciate the work you've done around Ponyville. The repair contest with that wayward showpony? Brilliant! I just don't want your house falling on you during a particularly loud tumble in the hay."

"There isn't going to be any hay in my house," I said.

"I'm sure Applejack would lend you some. It's one of the best parts about barns," Princess Celestia said.

"Have you ever even been in a barn?" I questioned.

"I have, though not in quite some time. Still, the more things change, the more barns stay the same," she joked.

"That's true," Applejack agreed. "The Apple family has had pretty much identical barns for hundreds of years."

"Thousands," Celestia confirmed. "I remember." The reminder that their ruler was orders of magnitude older than anyone else I had ever met jarred with how immature she was acting. After a certain age did you just loop back around? If Granny Smith was any indication, it seemed plausible.

I wasn't comfortable with all this barn speak, but I realized I wasn't comfortable saying why. In Gaia, the main thing that made barns unpalatable was the animals that stayed there, such as chocobos or horses. Or ponies. Who didn't talk, and weren't all that well regarded for their intelligence. The idea of a tussle with a pony in a barn just reeked of bestiality in a way that eating out my friend in a hospital bed during a round of truth or dare didn't. So: no hay. Also, hay was forever associated in my mind with the worst cramps of my life, even if the hay was ultimately innocent. The hay was guilty, I was certain, of giving me the most massive shit of my life later that night, however. So once again: no hay.

"So where are you going to build this house of yours?" Rainbow finally asked me.

"Yeah, it's not like Ponyville has a lot of open space in town, and most of the free space short of the farm acreage is reserved for parks and such," Applejack said.

"Isn't it obvious?" Princess Celestia asked. "She's going to homestead. Pushing back the Everfree."

I nodded. It was the only real option, and one I was uniquely qualified for. It had worked well enough for Fluttershy, but Fluttershy was Fluttershy. Her special talent gave her rare advantages in such a situation. "I'll probably pick an area close to Fluttershy, but not too close."

"What? Are you crazy, Cloud? Don't you remember what it's like out there? The weather! The weather forms on its own!" Rainbow Dash warned, sounding worried.

"It'll be just like home then," I pointed out. Rainbow reacted like I'd punched her in the gut. Damn. I knew she was a weathermare, but still I didn't think my comment would bother her like that.

"In any case, if anypony can manage it, you can, Cloud. I have faith in you," Applejack said. "And if you need a little help with your barn-raising, you know you can count on the Apples. It's been fun having you stay with us, but I understand it's time to start standing on your own four hooves. Or two feet in your case."

"Don't forget to invite my sister and I to your housewarming party," Celestia invited herself to yet another thing. "Pinkie will be very cross if you don't have one," she said, warning me off from my own reasonable out.

"I'm sure you two will be the life of the party," I said, wondering if I was going to even invite anypony else. Perhaps I should design the house to not have room for any more than that.

"Did somepony say party?!" Pinkie Pie asked, ambushing us with her cannon and nearly killing me with a spray of confetti.

Chapter 13: Winter is Coming

As soon as I faded back into this world from the ether, I collapsed to one knee, holding myself up with one hand on the ground as I caught my breath. Without the adrenaline from a fight or other urgent situation to dull my senses, I could really feel the drain from using that summon. But more than that, looking at the wake of destruction made me a bit nauseous. To say nothing of the sight of those things doing what they do. It was bad enough watching tens of thousands of them swarm through the area devouring everything in sight, I also got to witness them puking up more of their own kind before the whole lot of them fading back into the ether themselves.

Would the summon be more destructive the next time, bringing even more parasprites to bear? It was hard to imagine. I was glad I had moved toward the center of the patch of Everfree I planned to claim, as the area around me was now completely clearcut, not even so much as a stump left behind of the numerous trees and other plants. Whatever animals had hoped to hide among the foliage were gone now, one way or another. I liked to think they had escaped. There were no bones left behind to prove me wrong.

On the plus side, the cleared area was enough to build my house in. I grabbed my heavy work gloves and pulled them on, wondering at how well Rarity had done in their construction. Ponies didn't even have hands, or anything remotely similar, and the fashionista rarely worked in heavy leather, yet she had made these full leather gloves not only comfortable and effective, but still had attention left over for details like making sure the color complimented my overalls, and stitching the pattern of the buster sword into the backs of the gloves. Since the Element of Magic had taken on that image, the sword's likeness had come to represent me in much the way a cutie mark represented a pony.

The Apples had lent me some tools, as many as I could fit in my new backpack, and I started putting them to use, glad I had gloves now to keep my hands off of handles I knew ponies had used by mouth. They were remarkably dexterous with the things, and surprisingly good at keeping slobber off of things, and had probably washed the tools since, but I still preferred having gloves. Even without considering where the tools had been, good leather gloves were always a good choice for heavy manual labor.

I got to work with a shovel first, digging out a large square of earth where I would lay my foundation. It was a hard day's work, even with mako. Construction equipment, or even help, would make a huge difference. But I was fit, mako enhanced, and determined. I stopped only to eat and drink, before finally dragging myself away.

Exhausted, I stopped at Fluttershy's cottage and knocked on the door, leaning against the door frame until the pegasus answered.

"Hello?" she asked before looking up at me. "Oh, Cloud! What brings you here? Pew... what have you been up to?" she said, wrinkling her nose, but looking away, as though ashamed to have admitted my odor was distasteful.

"It's okay, Fluttershy, I know I reek. I was wondering if I could use your shower before heading back to Sweet Apple Acres. For that matter, a bit of rest here would be quite welcome," I said.

"Oh, of course! Please do," she said, inviting me in. "I'd like it if you stayed for tea with me."

"That would be great," I said, looking about the cottage for a bit.

"The bathroom is upstairs," she reminded me.

"Ah, right, thank you," I said as I started toward the staircase. A rabbit blocked my path, looking cross at me, so I stepped over it and kept going. The small animal might not appreciate an intruder into its domain, but I wasn't going to be deterred by a bunny. This seemed to annoy it so it darted ahead of me and blocked my path, standing on a stair with forelimbs spread wide. Again, my long legs carried me over it easily. If I'd been in a dress, it might have been some kind of issue, but my overalls hugged my legs well enough, and I cleared it easily. The third time he tried to bar me, looking like he was getting ready to attack, I finally spoke up. "Um, Fluttershy, is there something wrong with your rabbit friend?"

"Angel bunny, that's no way to treat a guest," Fluttershy scolded gently. "Cloud is just going to use the shower to freshen up."

As I stepped over the bunny once again, it started gesturing to the mare, looking like it was conveying some pretty advanced thoughts for an animal. And Fluttershy seemed to understand it, filling the air with 'oh my's and 'goodness'es while I locked myself into the bathroom, started the water and began to strip. Whatever the creature had to say about me would wait until I was clean, as far as I was concerned.

Once I was clean, I slipped into the cotton dress I had stuffed into the bottom of my back, frowning a bit at how wrinkly it had become, but at least it wasn't soaked in sweat. It would have to be good enough for the tea party. I giggled at the thought, then giggled again at the fact that I had actually giggled. How much of a girl was I now, enjoying slumber parties and tea parties with my marefriends? Life was strange. But it was good, wasn't it? I felt like the worst I had to worry about in life was whether my marefriend would shape and turn our one, aborted date into a real relationship or I would need to dump her even after she went and involved a princess, however tangentially, in our so called love life.

'What happened to dreams and honor?'

"I have those, don't I? I'm the leader of the Elements of Harmony," I told the mirror, looking into those dimly glowing blue eyes.

'Embrace your dreams. If you want to be a hero, you need to have dreams.'

"Building a house... dating a mare who's more into herself than me... are these all I can manage for dreams these days?" I asked. The hair in the mirror begged to be styled, so I did what I could. I was never very good with it, but the effort made a clear difference.

"Coming, Cloud?" Fluttershy's voice drifted up to me, shaking me from my reverie. I was good enough from a simple tea party. I just hoped Celestia didn't find a way to invite herself in. I chuckled to myself as I made the way down the stairs. Maybe I should date her. Was that an ambitious enough dream? I worried briefly that my wayward mind might actually dream that tonight. Would Nightmare Moon dismiss that as 'normal'?

I took a seat at the table, across from Fluttershy, thanking her for the tea before taking a light sip. Angel Bunny glared at me from another seat as it munched on a cucumber sandwich.

"So, Cloud. I hate to bring up uncomfortable topics at a tea party," Fluttershy began, I looked at her expectantly and she wilted, unable to continue.

"Sounds like it must be important if you even got that far," I said. "Don't worry, I'm tough enough to survive an uncomfortable conversation. What's on your mind."

"Oh, well, Angel Bunny here was just concerned that you might be, well, doing a lot of damage to the woodlands. Lots of creatures call that place home, you know?" Fluttershy said. "I know you're trying to make a home for yourself too, but maybe you could be just a teensie bit more careful?"

I nodded, setting my teacup down. "I used the parasprites to help clear some land. They were a lot more effective than I expected... you know how the parasprites can get? I don't think I'll be using them again."

She let out a sigh of relief. "Oh, thank you Cloud. So you won't be harming any more trees or other plants then?"

"I can't quite promise that," I said. "I'll need a clear path to town, and enough lumber to build the building itself. Is it the plants you're worried about?"

"Well, no, but I am worried about the animals who live there. Maybe I could help you work around the ones with creatures living in them? Or at least get them to move first?" she inquired.

"That'd be great. We should spend more time together, outside of training. You make the best tea," I complimented.

"Why, thank you!" she said sweetly.

As we exchanged smiles, I quietly wished I had a marefriend who could appreciate nice, quiet, pleasant times together. Though at least I had no desire to date Fluttershy. She was a good friend, and I enjoyed her company as such, but she was too timid. She reminded me of Aeris, but at least the young woman had been tough enough to be confident by my side. The slums will do that to a person. Still, I knew Fluttershy had strength within her, when she needed to draw on it.

I shook my head. I really needed to stop thinking about everypony I knew in terms of dating potential.

"Is something the matter, Cloud?" Fluttershy asked, sounds of concern clear in her voice. That wasn't helping.

"Sorry, I was just thinking about Rainbow Dash and me," I said. "Our last date didn't go so smoothly, but she seems to want to try for another. You know her better than I do, what do you think of her?"

"Oh, yes, I've known her since I was a little filly, just learning how to fly," she said. "Some colts were teasing me, and she swooped in to protect me, even though we didn't really know each other yet. She can be very kind, but she doesn't always like to show it."

"That's a big part of the problem," I said. "She likes to only show her bluster and bravado. I can appreciate a bit of self confidence at times, but it's too much, too often with her. I want to get to know the rest of her."

"I bet she's just nervous," Fluttershy suggested.

"Really?" I asked. "She doesn't seem like it."

Fluttershy giggled a bit. "Everypony is afraid of something. Rainbow is afraid of anypony knowing she's afraid." She took a moment to eat a cucumber sandwich while I considered that. "She's also afraid of losing you, I think. She respects you, more than almost anypony. But I don't think she knows if you respect her the same way."

"So, she's just trying too hard to earn my approval?" I asked. "She just wants to know I think she's awesome."

"Right," Fluttershy nodded. "I hope that helps! You both deserve to have a special somepony in your lives."

"I think it just might," I said hopefully.

The next morning, I brought a wheelbarrow with me, several heavy bags of cement mix inside, and a couple of empty barrels stacked precariously on top. Making a good foundation was, after all, the key to making a good solid structure that would stand up to heavy weather, especially wild weather.

It was all coated with a light dusting of snow by the time I left town and entered the Everfree, where it was still sunny and a little on the warm side. Ponyville had snow scheduled every day for the next few months; much of it the first week to get the ground cover started, but they liked to ease into it on the first day to give ponies a gentle reminder that winter was starting. The Everfree, however, obeyed no such schedule, and would snow when it damn well felt like it. It was actually kind of ironic. For all the cool breezes I felt wafting by as I worked the land, the snow seemed to be positively kept at bay.

Bumping unsteadily across the uncleared terrain, I made my way somewhat blindly, only really able to make out tree trunks above my tall load. But brute force and mechanical advantage worked together to get me through it until I got out into the clearing, no tree trunks looming ahead at all. I turned the wheelbarrow off to the side to give myself a clear view, and froze, staring at the sight before me.

Grass covered the entire clearing, even the hole I had dug, though it was still clearly a depression. Vines wound along the ground. A few small bushes dotted the area, and a few tall sticks that I guessed were day old saplings. I caught hints of movement, small animals exploring the modified terrain.

Fluttershy made the most adorably ridiculous security guard of all time. She even wore a little orange vest and a cute little blue hat as she patrolled the clearing, gently shooing animals out of the area. Plants, however, had no such mobility, despite all evidence to the contrary. I went at them with axe and shovel, clearing them all out of the hole so that I could start mixing and pouring concrete. I was glad the weather was cooperating at least.

Until it didn't.

"Look Cloud, I know you're my marefriend, but I'm a bit busy rolling out winter to be spending time on special favors like this," Rainbow complained.

"You were napping when I found you," I pointed out.

"A very important power-nap between bouts of... okay, fine, I can help out," Rainbow said. "But you owe me," she said before darting into the sky and shoving all of the rain clouds out of the way, clearing the sky over the clearing and a good distance out in all directions.

I rolled my eyes. "And how would you like to be repaid, Dash?" I asked.

"Oh, that's a surprise," she said before darting down and offering me a slip of paper. "Be at this address as quickly after sunset as you can manage. And dress like you mean it."

"'Dress like I mean it'?" I questioned, but she was already out of earshot. Did she just ask me out on another date?

Once the concrete had dried enough to leave it unattended, I left. I had to tap into my mako a bit to clear the distance to Sweet Apple Acres in time to shower there and get into my nice, silk dress. It brought back a whole other set of memories as I looked at myself in the mirror. Tifa... I hope you made it out okay.

Well, 'miss Cloud', at least you have a whole lot better of a date to look forward to than Don Corneo.

It was difficult to leave my sword behind, knowing that trouble could spring up at the worst of times, but until Rarity figured out how to make me look fabulous while properly armed I would just have to make do with mako-backed punches and kicks if anything came up on my date.

I made it into town just after the jarring transition that was the Equestrian sunset, stumbling a moment in the sudden dark as the sun dove under the horizon, before my eyes adjusted to the dimmer light from the moon. It would be harder to read street signs in the dim light, but I knew where this particular street was, even if I didn't quite remember why until I arrived. The address lead me to Vinyl Scratch's home. It was hard to forget a building you put a hole in with your head, even if I didn't know the mare who lived within all that well. Mares: that's right, she had a roommate I knew even less well.

I arrived before the door, but as I lifted my hand to knock a spotlight suddenly turned on from directly overhead. It was hard to make out the source but after a while I realized the light was somehow embedded into a cloud. This should have surprised me less, given my date.

While I was trying to figure that out, music began to play. There was a speaker system up on the roof, Vinyl barely visible behind it, especially with the light arranged the way it was. She wasn't hiding, per se, but she wasn't meant to be seen.

Rainbow Dash's voice drifted down from the cloud, even as the pegasus herself did. She was clad in a deep blue silk dress, Rarity's workmanship quite evident in the multicolored highlights that shimmered and flowed with the beating of her wings. Her singing voice was beautiful, even if the lyrics struck me as a bit cheesy. The up-tempo beat Vinyl was providing didn't lend itself the best to a romantic atmosphere, but it did seem to fit Dash rather well. And I certainly couldn't say she wasn't trying.

When the song ended, she let her hind hooves touch ground, her wings helping to keep her nearly upright as she offered me her front hooves. "Can I have this dance?" she inquired, as a deeper, stringed instrument began to play a slower, gentler melody. Nodding, I hugged her to me, as we began to dance more than a little awkwardly. I let Dash lead, doing my best to follow, simply letting the music guide our bodies.

"So, what do you think?" she asked quietly once we had slipped into the rhythm.

"It's quite the gesture," I said. "I can see you put some real thought and effort into it, and the music is quite nice. I was particularly impressed to hear your singing voice; much better than my own, I'm sure." I liked the look of her smile, but thought I could maybe get it a bit bigger. "It's awesome. You're awesome."

Perhaps it was overkill, as she blushed hard and looked away at the last bit of praise. "You know, you're pretty awesome yourself, Cloud. I mean, actually taking on the Everfree like that? You've got guts. And I've seen you run."

It was my turn to blush, though I didn't look away. I drew her close and met her in a kiss, instead. This was Rainbow at her finest as a marefriend. This was the potential I wanted to believe in. There, in that cone of light, every misstep was cast aside and left behind.

It was a beautiful moment, but it soon ended with the song fading out. "So... I got us a room at the inn," Rainbow said with a nervous grin.

Rainbow's body felt nice, the large, warm, furry torso pressed against my own bare skin, legs entwined with my own limbs. My own afterglow was keeping me in a pleasantly tranquil state, even if it hadn't knocked me out like hers had. The snoring, on the other hand, would take some getting used to.

Unfortunately, it made sleep impossible for me, at least for a time, and gave me plenty of time to think as I watched the frost spread slowly across the window. Tonight had been great. Trixie would have approved of the level of stagecraft in that serenade. Her singing voice really was beautiful, to say nothing of what else she could accomplish with her tongue. Maybe things were finally turning around for us?

I smiled gently as I stroked the sleeping pegasus' multicolored mane, reflecting further on the past hours' activities. A year ago, if I'd been asked to describe how I would lose my virginity, I don't think I would have gotten a single detail right. Not a single damn one.

Chapter 14: Call of the Cutie

Rainbow was in a rush to eat breakfast in the morning, before heading off to help with the beginning of the heavy snows to roll in winter. She looked happy and well rested, I tried to give the impression of being the same, though I couldn't avoid a few yawns. After she left, though, I had a nice leisurely shower before bracing myself for the cold.

I didn't have fur of my own, at least nothing worth mentioning, and the silk dress was a horrible choice in the snow. So I hurried to Rarity's boutique to get some winter wear, letting the activity keep me from freezing entirely. I should have been better prepared, but the seasons changed so swiftly here. The fashionista already had my order and the materials were in, but she hadn't been able to complete them before the snows came.

I knocked on the door as a courtesy, but didn't wait for an answer, letting myself into the little shop, and closing the door swiftly to keep out the snow. "Hey, Rarity? Do you have my coat ready yet?"

"Cloud? I've finished the cuts, but I'm still stitching it, darling," she called down from the second floor. "Do stay inside while you wait. It will only be an hour, two at the most. Sweetie, dear, will you see to our guest?"

"Of course, sis!" the younger unicorn agreed before making her way down the stairs. "Hi, Cloud! Would you like some tea?"

"Please," I accepted. "I've gotten quite a taste for tea parties lately." I laughed a bit.

"How could you not?" she said as she lead the way, starting the water to boil and bringing everything else into position. I was surprised for a moment to see her doing so like an earth pony would with hooves and mouth, before remembering that she was too young to use her horn yet. "Oh, that's right. I forgot. You used to be a colt, right?"

"Close enough," I allowed, taking a seat. "Are you out of school while the snow falls?"

"Mmmhmm," she confirmed. "Which is great, because now my new club can have plenty of time to meet. Well, if our caretakers will let us." She glanced up at Rarity's approximate location as a gesture.

"New club? What's all this then?" I inquired, glad for the small talk to keep things moving. I didn't want to work out in my silk dress, which was about my only other idea to pass the time without distracting Rarity.

"Well, it all started at Diamond Tiara's cute-ceañera," she began. Before I could ask the obvious she clarified. "It's a party to celebrate a colt or filly discovering their special talent and earning their cutie mark. I umm... well, Spike was looking for a chance to hang out, so I invited him along to it."

"Dragons don't get cutie marks, do they? It seems like an awkward event for him, unless everyone had dates," I mused.

"Not everypony," Sweetie Belle admitted. "Okay, I was the only one. Honestly, though? I was just hoping he would distract everypony from my umm... blank flank."

"Blank flank?" I asked. "Aren't those really common in your age group?"

"Well, kind of. So many of our classmates have already gotten their cutie marks. I was starting to think I was the only one who hadn't! But at least I had a date!" she explained. "Was it... wrong to use Spike like that?"

"Yes. But did he at least have a good time?" I asked as I poured the tea for us. "Anyways, Apple Bloom doesn't have her cutie mark either, last I saw. Isn't she in your class?"

"You already know Apple Bloom?" she asked before facehoofing. "Of course you do, you've been living with the Apples. I didn't notice her at first. Spike actually proved to be quite the attention getter. Nopony else there had actually ever met a dragon before, not up close at any rate. They all wanted to get to know him, but he was sweet enough to fend them off and try to keep his attention on me. But then Diamond Tiara got upset."

"I don't believe I've met her. You said it was her party?" I prompted.

"Yeah... she and her friend just got their cutie marks recently. Their parents are quite rich, so they invited everypony to come celebrate, rather than just a few friends and family," she said. "But when they saw Spike and I were getting a lot of attention, they came and started teasing us, saying my flank would be blank just as long as his, things like that. Spike was moving to defend me when Scootaloo leapt to my defense instead. She's a pegasus filly from my class, who's a blank flank just like me. She said we were just full of potential, and we could be anything! Then Apple Bloom joined in, along with Spike. Everypony cheered us on."

She paused a moment, remembering her triumph happily. I let her savor it a minute or so before I prompted her further. "And then what happened?"

"Oh, the spoiled rich foals kicked us out," Sweetie said with a shrug. "We decided to make ourselves a club to go develop our potential together, just the four of us. We're going to try all kinds of things and see what we like, and what we're good at. And then work hard to become the best ponies in all of Ponyville. Actually we named ourselves after your group."

"Really?" I asked. Did our group even have a name?

"The 'Elements of Greatness'," Sweetie Belle announced triumphantly.

I couldn't help but smile. I reached in and ruffled her mane a bit, laughing. "I'm sure you'll live up to that in no time."

"Thanks-" she began before Rarity's voice interrupted.

"Oh, Cloud,~" she requested. "Can you come up here for your final fitting? We'll have this looking perfect on you in a second!"

Tromping through the snow in my new boots, I wondered why I hadn't thought to have Rarity make shoes for me before this point. I'd need to work with her on more practical designs in general though, as these were well suited to handling the cold snow, but would be awful in a fight. Even in the snow, I'd probably kick them off and go barefoot. On the other hand, they went beautifully with my heavy fur coat, itself a light blue that matched my eyes, highlighted with fluffy cloud-white lining. That it resembled my marefriend's fur was probably not a coincidence, even if it was a noticeably different shade.

I considered stopping by the library to check in with Spike, but I felt a need to make more progress on my house, so I left it alone for now. It took long enough swinging by Sweet Apple Acres for a change of clothing and to pick up my tools.

When I had left it, the house consisted of a large square of concrete with four large wooden poles in the corners, the main supports around which the rest would be built. When I arrived, vines had crept all over both, the rest of the clearing was considerably shrunken, and there was a mess of wood in the middle of my foundation.

As I reached the edge of the concrete, a fierce breeze made me suddenly upwind and the mass of wood began to stir, rising and separating into a half dozen four-legged forms that began to snarl at me, spreading out to encircle me. My sword was quick to enter my hand, despite the fleeting thought that the axe might be a better choice. In combat, familiarity counted for a lot, and I was much more familiar with the heft of a sword in my hands.

The wooden creatures charged at me, starting from the two in front of me. My first swing smashed the first one to bits, but the second was able to close enough to bite into my arm, doing little harm but hanging onto it in a spot that made it troublesome to engage. I ignored it for the moment, favoring easier targets.

With a surge of magic, I lit the next one on my left on fire, hoping wooden monsters would be quite vulnerable to fire. It was, in a sense, but being bitten on the leg by a wooden creature that was on fire hurt more, rather than less. Whatever sense of pain it might have had was not enough to deter it.

With a roundhouse kick, I wielded the flaming predator as a weapon, slamming it into the two beasts approaching me from behind, shattering both and leaving some of their component sticks aflame. That was enough to dislodge the first burning beast, but another of the creatures leaped onto my back, biting at the back of my head and giving me a nasty headache to go with my wounds.

I rushed a nearby tree, swinging my arm to smash the one wolf-like creature into it, and spinning to slam the one on my back into it. The former splintered into pieces, while the second was merely painfully dislodged. I paused to cast another spell, pouring more fire on the flaming creature charging toward me, finally burning it badly enough for it to collapse into a pile of ashes.

I turned back to the larger creature I had knocked off my back, only to see I had to look up at it now. The loose branches and sticks from those I had smashed apart were gathering into it, combining into a massive beast, even more distinctly wolf like in shape than before. I had to do something fast, something dramatic to turn the fight.

The mako began to stir within me. The magic. I knew what to do. Pushing myself to the limit, I rushed the beast, magic flowing through me, through my arms, through my blade. With a quick sequence of slashes, I carved air and wood, marking the sigil. 凶 Misfortune. The curse bled into the monster's body, freezing it up, leaving it unable to fight, at least for a short time. But a short time was all I would need.

Even as I was finishing the job, the wind went decidedly still, and a feeling of being watched became noticeably only from its sudden absence. I looked around when I could afford the moment to do so, but there were no tracks but my own in the lightly snow-dusted ground.

"Cloud? Cloud! Are you okay?" Fluttershy called out, much louder than she normally spoke. She rushed forward when she saw me, sitting by my firepit.

"I'm fine, 'Shy. A few scratches and burns, nothing that won't heal easily enough," I said. I turned the spits with the few rodents I had caught, self consciously. The animal lover didn't seem to notice.

"I saw the smoke coming from where you were building, and I just got worried," she said. "But I guess it was just your firepit. Are you going to eat all those?"

"I was planning on it. I didn't think ponies liked meat," I replied.

"Oh, we don't," she said, but seemed satisfied with my answer. "You really should let somepony check your injuries though. How did you get them?"

"Same way I got the firewood," I said. "Some wood monsters attacked me."

"Timberwolves!" she named. "You should be careful, they can be really dangerous..." she let the thought fade as she looked at the firepit with new understanding. "I guess... I forget sometimes how strong you are."

The fire crackled on for a few moments of silence as the wind moaned through the surrounding trees.

"I'm stronger with friends. I wish somepony had been there to help me," I admitted. "I'm still going to need Rarity's help," I said, pointing out my ill fated coat hanging from a branch nearby.

She frowned at the damaged clothing before nuzzling my arm. I started gently petting her head, enjoying the softness of her fur, the closeness of her company. It felt like a hug, but without the pain that a hug would likely entail at that moment.

"You better not be cheating on me!" a familiar voice rang out before Rainbow Dash swooped down, threatening to put out the fire with the gush of wind from her rapid descent, nearly starting a fire with the embers she blew free. Fluttershy pulled away, looking cowed, while Dash came and gave me a hug, earning a grunt of pain from me.

"Hi Rainbow Dash," Fluttershy said quietly. "I was just checking on Cloud because of the smoke. She was attacked by timberwolves!"

"I thought you were supposed to be fast, but you missed the fight entirely," I teased as I rescued my meal from the fire.

"Are you okay? Do you need anything?" Rainbow asked, finally checking me over.

"I'm fine, though I could use some barbecue sauce," I said.

"Why?" she said, looking confused and glancing at my skewers of cooked flesh. I doubt she knew what she was looking at, but she gave a nod and flew away.

"Well, maybe I should get going," Fluttershy said, turning to leave.

"Thanks for checking on me," I said. "Things can get rough out here. You know that better than most ponies."

Fluttershy nodded, pointing at the skewers. "You're not my only friend who eats meat," she pointed out. "I know how it is out here. Be safe, Cloud."

She barely made it out of the clearing before Rainbow returned, the speedster earning the respect she demanded in that regards at least. "Here you go, babe. Mind if I have one?"

I applied the packets of sauce to my meal. "No, but are you sure you want to? This isn't exactly pony cuisine," I said.

"Why wouldn't I want to try my marefriends' cooking?" she challenged, taking one and biting into it. "This is... this is really, what's the word? Savory? What's in this, anyways? Tastes a little like a hayburger."

"Pure muscle," I said before starting into my own.

"Hahah, I can see how this would help you build muscle, but seriously, what's it made of?" she asked again.

"Cooked rat muscles," I clarified. "'Meat', for short."

To her credit, she swallowed what was left in her mouth before setting the rest down and looking away. "Well... that's kind of a mood killer."

I waved dismissively. "It's a bad time anyways. My 'monthly visitor' is coming," I said unhappily. The cramps had already started, though I knew it would just get worse.

"Oh yeah. How's Zecora doing?" Rainbow asked.

I blinked at the change of subject. "I haven't spoken to her in some time, but I should see her tomorrow. I promised to help her bring her supplies to sell to the spa ponies. You should come with us, we can have a spa day together while we're there."

"No thanks, it's always awkward being around you when you have your monthly visitor," Rainbow pointed out. "Look, I- I'll see you around, okay?" And as was her way, she was gone in a rainbow blur before I could respond.

"It's awfully bitter," I commented between sips of the dark concoction my host had given me. It wasn't stopping me though. The sharp, dark chocolate flavor was pretty overwhelming, but there were other, less identifiable flavors underneath in what was essentially a chocolaty tea. "Some cream or milk would probably help the flavor."

"Medicine can be bitter, true, but still you know it's good for you," Zecora replied as she continued packing her things. "Unless you'd rather take your chances, with painful cramps and bloody prances."

"Humans don't prance," I teased. The insistence on always rhyming could make for some limited word choices, I knew. Steeling myself I downed the rest of the beverage in one swig. It was a bit much, and left me in a bit of a coughing fit for a moment, but at least it was done. I could already feel the cramps easing up.

"But humans do burn and humans do bleed. This human can call me upon any need," she said pointing a hoof toward my injuries.

"The timberwolves didn't give me time to wait for backup," I said. "They don't bother you?"

She shrugged. "My hooves are strong, my scent is weak. When trouble comes, I am far from meek."

I nodded, taking a moment to finish recovering before getting to my feet, and taking up the package she had put together. "Well, that pack won't be bothering anyone again. Actually, the Everfree's kind of a nice place to live for someone like me. Free training."

"Battle is in your heart, 'tis true. But I warn you now, winter comes for you," she said ominously.

But I wasn't worried. "I'll be fine, Zecora. I'm putting up the walls now, and I'll be getting a wood burning stove within the week." I gestured with the empty mug. "Thanks again for the medicine. I should get going though."

My words seemed to calm her a bit. "If that is all you need to do, then let my prayers go with you," she said as I parted.

The battles and other obstacles the Everfree threw my way became routine in a way, despite the variety to them. I found that letting some of them escape with their lives left a kind of buffer, monsters who kept others at bay with their own territorial behavior while staying out of my way, and eventually things settled down enough for me to get some real progress on my construction.

Crossbeams connecting the four corners of my house. Walls came up, slat by slat, and a nice sloped wooden roof. It was weeks of hard labor, but the weather cooperated well enough. It was winter already in Ponyville, but the Everfree felt more like late fall. Chilly and occasionally rainy, keeping me cool as I worked hard and fast.

By the time I finished hinging my door, winter had come to the Everfree as well. It was a small house, about four hundred square feet, and I still needed to divide it up with interior walls. I had managed to bring in a wood burning stove from Ponyville, and a nice leather sofa. My bed was still being constructed, custom ordered to account for how much longer I was than an average pony. For a bathroom I had to make do with an outhouse nearby. I had plenty more work to do before I was truly satisfied, but at least I had a place to call home.

Woe unto any monster that dared interrupt me on the way to the outhouse.

Fortunately the next interruption came on the way back from gathering firewood, and was far more welcome than any monster. "Yo, Cloud! Got us a couple hayburgers to break in your new house right," Rainbow greeted as she descended, grease stained bag in hoof.

"Dash! Thanks for coming over," I said, trying to ignore the trepidation I felt at the little bundles of fiber within. I knew now they weren't the cause of my cramps, but they would ultimately make for a rather urgent run to the outhouse, for me at least. Humans didn't process hay like ponies did. But I didn't want to hurt her feelings, or seem afraid of a meal. "Come in, come in."

Stepping inside, I took a seat on the end of my couch, as Dash joined me. "I know it's pretty modest. I still need to get some decent flooring in here. What do you think? Carpet or wood floors?" My fingers wove through the hairs of her mane, stroking down her neck as she looked up at me from my lap.

"Carpet, definitely. Nice and fluffy," she said. "Of course it won't be as soft as my cloud house, but you do what you can. I really wish I could take you there sometime. You know, without you just falling through the floor."

"Maybe our researcher can figure out some magic to help," I said with a shrug.

"Egghead? Well, if she can figure out how to race from a book, maybe she can figure that out too," she admitted. "It's kind of cold in here though. Don't you have any heat?"

"Give me a minute," I said, getting some wood into the stove and calling on my fire materia to light it. Once it got going, I returned to the couch, accepting her head back into my lap. "Of course, I need some better insulation in here. If you're going to stay long we'll probably have to cuddle up for warmth," I suggested

"Mmm, I bet I can get you nice and warm," Dash said, nuzzling my thighs. "We should eat first, though, before the food gets cold." She pulled away far enough to distribute fast food and start to eat. I started in on the fried potatoes. If I was going to get too full to finish, I wanted it to be the hay I didn't get through. Dash was the opposite, starting with her burger.

We ate in silence for a bit, which I rather enjoyed. The file crackled warmly. My hand strayed to Dash's back, enjoying the soft feel of her fur. The couch was quite comfortable. I was able to just let all my stress melt away and simply enjoy the moment.

"I guess this means you're here for good, huh?" the pegasus said, breaking the silence. I hadn't really thought about it, but she was right. Shinra, AVALANCHE, Tifa, Aeris. Gaia itself. I'd left it all behind. And other than the occasional nagging concern about the girls' well being, I didn't really regret it. The ponies' world was so much nicer than the one I left behind. A lot less monsters, for one. The only thing I really missed was being male, but I'd come to accept that change, with Rainbow's rather aggressive help. "Living in the Everfree, even deeper than Fluttershy," she clarified after a long draw on her milkshake.

I snapped my focus back to this world, and smiled at her. "It's not bad here. It'll be better when I've had time to do more work on the house, especially once my bed is finished. But the monsters are starting to leave me alone, the weather's been pleasantly mild, and Fluttershy and Zecora both live nearby."

I must have said something wrong, because Rainbow tensed a bit. I might have missed it if my hand hadn't been on her back. "I could move my house, you know. Not too close, as the wild weather could damage it, but about as close as Fluttershy."

"That'd be nice. I like having you close," I said, smiling.

"How close?" she asked, with a playful growl, pushing the remains of her meal away from us.

"As close as possible," I said, kissing her, and pushing her onto her back. But as much as she obvious enjoyed the attention, it wasn't long before she rolled us over, getting herself on top. Oh, Rainbow Dash.

Not everything has to be a competition.

Chapter 15: Winter SOLDIER

It was a uncomfortably warm when I woke up the next morning. The snoring pegasus lying atop me probably had something to do with that, though I would never say something like that out loud. Her ego could be a bit sensitive, I knew. But even my bare limbs, exposed to the air of the small building, registered it a bit warmer than I would like.

It was dark in here. No light coming in from outside, and no light from the stove, whose fires had long since died out. There was only the faintest of illumination from-

"Wow, your eyes are extra freaky in the dark like that," my marefriend pointed out, tactlessly.

"So much for round two," I replied teasingly.

"Round- what? Don't be like that!" she complained. I gasped as she used her feathers to try to convince me otherwise. I wasn't that hard to convince, with nowhere we really needed to be that morning.

But when we had had our fun, the need to leave did start to grow in urgency. We would both need breakfast. And before that, I needed the outhouse. I went to the door, and tried to open it, but it resisted. I gave a sharper tug, but still it resisted. Bracing my foot against the door jamb, I poured some mako into my muscles and ripped the door loose. I was immediately overrun with something cold, burying me. Snow.

"Cloud? Cloud! Where are you, I can't see your eyes anywhere?" Rainbow said, starting to panic in the dark. "Snow?!" Of course the weathermare could easily recognize the stuff by touch. She calmed a little when I pulled myself free, stepping back and starting to shiver.

"Let me... get the fire going again," I said, blindly groping around until I had some fresh firewood in the stove. The surge of magic was blinding for a moment, before the room settled into a dim red illumination. I let the fire warm me from the frozen deluge as I looked back to the door. No light came from above; the snowfall had to have been a dozen feet overnight, or more.

"See, this is why I don't like wild weather," Rainbow complained.

I considered dressing, but realized if my clothes got wet things could get much worse for me, so I instead set my clothes on the couch, where they'd be less at risk of melting snow. Grabbing my sword, I went to the doorway and began poking upward as far as I could.

"What are you doing, you're going to make more snow fall in on us," Rainbow worried.

"Making sure we have a path for fresh air to reach us so we don't suffocate," I pointed out, even as Rainbow's prediction came true. Much of the floor was coated before a little daylight finally peeked through. The stove got a bit of wind going, as the hot air flowing up its chimney demanded fresh, cold air come in through the new hole to take its place, keeping us supplied with ice-cold oxygen. As soon as I was satisfied with our continued ability to breath I rushed back to the stove to warm up again, shivering fiercely.

"Okay... you warm up, I'll take a turn at digging us out," Rainbow offered, rushing the packed doorway. "Oh, come on!" she said a moment later as her hooves reached harder packed snow, perhaps even ice, after only a foot or so of digging.

"Do you really think this is wild weather?" I asked. "I could see you and your crew being able to pull off something like this, but not it happening naturally."

"Are you accusing my team of trapping us in here?" Rainbow asked incredulously. "They would never do something like that!"

I shook my head. "I know they wouldn't, but they could. So that tells me others could as well. I don't think any pegasi would, but what about something else. Any monsters that can manipulate weather?"

"What, like a windigo?" she asked. "N-no way, those things have been gone since the first hearth's warming," she said, fear creeping into her voice at the thought.

"Let's start there, what do you know about windigos?" I asked, settling onto the bed and pulling my clothes over me.

"Well, I'm no egghead," the pegasus excused before settling next to me, pulling close for warmth. I was surprised she wasn't wet, after her attempted escape, but as I ran my hand through her fur and feathers I noticed how oily they were. Perhaps pegasi had a natural defense against getting wet; it would certainly be helpful with weather work. "But everypony knows the story of hearthswarming..."

I wasn't a pony, but it didn't take the pony with me long to get me up to speed. I wasn't sure how much of it to take as legend, and how much fact. "... so that's why the 'fires of friendship' are so important, and why it's important to avoid strife, especially in winter."

"And yet here you are huddled alone with me," I laughed.

"Um, yeah, you're my marefriend. What's so funny?" she asked.

"My name."

"Cloud?"

"Cloud Strife," I pointed out.

"You have a last name?" she asked, sounding genuinely surprised.

"We've known each other how long and you're just finding that out?" I asked "That's not exactly a 'third date' kind of surprise."

"We've been dating how long and you just now thought to tell me your full name?" she countered. "So just what kind of surprises did you have waiting for the third date?!"

"This may sound strange but... I think I'm secretly a male trapped in a female's body," I said, teasingly.

I laughed as she smacked me in the face with the feathery part of her wing. "I knew that, dork," she said. "Surely you of all ponies has a deeper, darker secret than that."

"You first," I said, looking at her curiously.

She looked away for a time, leaving my mind to worry about our situation again. We needed to find a way out. I could try burning our way through the ice with fire magic, perhaps, but that would leave me drained if it proved inadequate.

"I don't know what I'm doing here," she said at length.

"Visiting your marefriend?" I said. "I know we didn't expect to be trapped here, but..."

"I mean, having a marefriend. I kinda always assumed some stallion would see how awesome I was. Probably one of the Wonderbolts, you know, somepony who can almost keep up with me. But here I am, wooing a mare. Only I don't know what I'm doing. You always make it seem like you know so much about how to be a good marefriend, when you've only just become a mare. I've tried asking all my friends for advice. Rarity. Applejack." She shifted positions, dropping her back hard against the back of the sofa. A feather popped up from the sudden motion. Butter yellow, it drifted down slowly toward the middle of the room. "Fluttershy? Hey, Cloud... why do you have one of Fluttershy's feathers on your couch?"

"That's not-" I began, but the mare was already up in my face, hoof on my chest.

"Don't lie to me! I came over the moment you finished, but I'm not even the first mare you've gotten on your couch, huh?" she accused.

"She hasn't-" I began again.

"Then what do you call this?!" she asked, holding the feather out toward me in a hoof.

I looked closely. "A quill," I pointed out, pointing at the tip which was carefully carved to take up ink and deploy it smoothly. "The ponies at Sofas and Quills threw in a free quill when I bought my sofa and ordered my bed."

"A likely story," she said, speaking more truth than she meant.

"Fluttershy and I just have tea together at her cottage every week or so," I explained. "Are you jealous? She's your friend too, I'm sure she'd love for you to join us."

"Join you? What, so she can be the stallion of your little herd? Why don't you invite her to join us?" Rainbow asked aggressively.

"Because we don't have teaparties?" I said, confused. What was she talking about, herds and stallions? I blushed as I guessed. "I'm not talking about anything intimate! Just friends drinking tea together and talking."

Rainbow Dash just growled, rubbing her hooves on her head and looking like she was trying to implode to escape the embarrassment. "Yeah, well... maybe Fluttershy and I will have our own tea parties," she said, still sounding a bit bitter.

Not sure what else to do, I wrapped her in a fierce hug and sat down on the couch, holding her pinned against me. She tried to squirm free for a bit, but with my mako she didn't stand a chance. Finally she settled down on my lap.

"Nightmare Moon has been in a few of my dreams," I told her, starting in on my 'deep dark secret' time.

"What, like your wet dreams?" Dash asked.

"No," I said. "Wait, actually there was that one, but she just commented how normal it was and left. That was all kinds of awkward."

"So, what... your wet dreams are just really vanilla and she got bored and wandered off? You really need to spice up your imagination if you want to keep up with me, Cloud," she teased.

"Maybe Twilight can recommend some reading," I teased back.

"Don't you dare come to her for that!" Rainbow said back, a lot more angry than she should be. "Wait, the quill. It was for her wasn't it?"

"What? No! I told you, it was just a freebie," I snapped back. "Anyways, Luna was just contrasting it with all my other dreams."

Rainbow glared at me a moment before finally accepting my answer and moving on. "So what were the dreams even Luna thought were odd?"

"Memories... from before I came here. They're kind of... jumbled. She said I had someone else's memories, somehow," I told her. "I don't know what to make of that. At first I thought she was just messing with me. Vengeance for what we did to her, you know?"

"I don't think she's like that," Dash said. "Maybe you should get her to help you sort it out? Like, head up to Canterlot in person?"

"Maybe... not right now though," I said.

"Well, duh, right now you have to get us out of this deathtrap of a house you built," she pointed out.

"Right," I said, nodding. I let her go and took my sword into hand, approaching the blockade of snow and ice.

"Alright! Wait, what are you going to do?" she asked.

"I'm getting us out of here," I said. I drew out my magic, summoning fire to melt the ice. Again. And again. In between I hacked at it with my sword, using the partial melting to make more headway. Digging past snow with my hands. Trying to expand the little air hole into something big enough to climb out of. Dash was at my side, hooves lashing at the troublesome frozen water to tear more of it asunder. It seemed to be going well, until something wooshed in past us, knocking us both on our backs and putting out the fire in the stove.

"What is it? A monster?" Dash asked as she pulled herself out of the pool of water that had filled the floor of my home.

"Cloud... you haven't told her about me? About us?" a whispy, effeminate voice said seductively from the darkness. "I don't mind sharing, but you should at least tell your other marefriends."

"She's mine!" the pegasus declared. As she did, our uninvited guest became visible for a moment, a ghostly pale blue visage of a pony glowing briefly with power.

"Yours? You barely spend a moment with her outside of sex. And even then, I've been up her skirt more times than you have," the ghost alleged. She faded from view again, even as an all too familiar breeze caressed my thighs.

"That's... that's a total lie! Right, Cloud?" Rainbow demanded.

I hesitated a moment. "I've never seen her before in my life," I said truthfully, cheeks burning at the realization that I had felt her quite a few times, taking liberties she'd had no right to take. Or had that really just been the wind? I couldn't know for sure. But I could see her flare back into existence, pulsing with a bit more power.

"Don't... don't lie to me, Cloud!" she demanded once again. In the pale blue ghostly light I could see the faint shimmer of tears in her eyes. I'd hurt her.

"Rainbow Dash! Loyalty! Listen to me," I said, voice loaded with authority as I leveled my sword at the apparition. "This creature isn't my lover, you are. She's trying to manipulate us, get us to fight one another. Don't let her beat you."

Rainbow hesitated before growling fiercely at the monster. "Right! You're mine, bitch!"

Before she could charge, though, the ghost blew out a frigid gust, freezing the water around our ankles. Rainbow struggled to free herself, but she was stuck for the moment. I was stuck, too, but I had other options. Calling on my magic, I pointed at the dim spectre and conjured flames.

She shrieked in pain, fading from view as she hid from us for the moment. We used that moment to break free, and Dash pulled herself up into a hover to prevent that trick from working on her again.

I felt the breeze caress my skin again, this time teasing my chest. "She lies, Rainbow. Look how her teats respond to my touch," she began, fading into view nearby. Dash hesitated, eyeing my nipples instead of focusing on the enemy. But I wasn't that easily stopped. Pushing mako through my body and into my blade, I slashed right through her head, a blow that would be fatal on a more corporeal foe.

It wasn't deadly to her, but it was clearly harmful, and she turned to flee, heading for the doorway. She stopped to turn and give one last taunt. "I'll be back when we can be alone together, Cloud Strife." But even as she was talking I was closing on her. I grabbed her, gripping her about the waist even as I tried to recall that feeling when I had captured the parasprite. Magic flared brightly as she imploded with a fearful shriek, shrinking down into a small red sphere of crystal gripped tightly in my hand.

"What... what just happened?" Rainbow asked, breaking the silence in the dark.

"I captured her, once and for all. Trapped her in a summon materia, like I did with the parasprites.

"Summon materia, huh?" she asked, thinking a few seconds. "I better not find out you've been summoning her alone."

"Well, Cloud. You got that tea-party you wanted," Rainbow said between shivers. "Can we get another pot?" she asked Fluttershy. The three of us sat around Fluttershy's table, Rainbow and I wrapped thoroughly in blankets even after sharing a hot shower, and still feeling cold deep within.

"I'm glad you were able to beat the monster," Fluttershy said as she put on the water. "But still, I can't help but feel a little sorry for her. All she wanted was a special somepony."

Before I could object to her theory, Rainbow Dash offered her own objection. "She wanted my special somepony. That's not cool."

"Right, I'm already taken," I concurred, backing up Dash.

"I guess so," Fluttershy admitted. "But you're not even engaged yet, are you?" As blood filled our cheeks, Dash and I suddenly felt a lot warmer.

Lying in my bed in the guest room at Sweet Apple Acres, I finally managed to get warm enough to fall asleep. I dreamed of Midgar... lying in a field of flowers within the splintered remains of a church in the slums as I looked up at the little ray of sunshine that managed to find its way down from above the upper city.

I remembered waking up here, the cute little flower girl looking curiously into my face. She said... conflicting memories surged through me, talking over one another. One date. I had offered her one date, or she had offered me one date? I remembered it both ways.

My thoughts broke off abruptly as snow landed on my cheek. Looking up, it wasn't Aeris I saw looking down at me, but a pale blue equine. She looked a fair bit more solid here, but still ghostly.

"What are you doing here?" I asked as I sat up.

"It's your dream... where else do you think your summons go?" she asked. She pointed a hoof, and I saw one of the parasprites munching on the broken timbers of the church.

A dream. I looked around, expecting to see Nightmare Moon, but the alicorn was nowhere to be found.

"You look different in your dreams. Better.~ The clothes go good on you but..." the mare inquired, not able to put her hoof on what was different.

"I'm male, like I was before I was cursed," I pointed out. This clearly pleased her, as she wrapped around me, giving me a hug and a grin. "And, I still have a marefriend."

She pouted a bit but at least she unraveled herself from me. "She can't see what goes on in here.~ I was... mostly just trying to make her jealous, earlier," she admitted. "But I'm not hungry anymore... and you are even sexier as a male..."

"I'm not looking to cheat on my marefriend, even in my dreams," I countered. "What are you, anyways? A windigo?"

"I am. One of the last great winter spirits, since those ponies drove us to extinction. I've been trapped in a bauble in a dragon's horde long enough to forget most things. Include the joy of a stallion's touch. Are you sure you don't want to correct that? Can your marefriend really fault you for your dreams?" she tempted.

"She can and has," I said, trying to suppress my annoyance. "What's your name then, windigo?"

"I'm afraid I've forgotten that as well," she confessed. "Why don't you name me, stud?"

"Don't call me that. In fact, no first names either; you can call me 'Mister Strife'," I said. She giggled and nodded, apparently liking it better than my first name anyways. "As for you. Let's see."

I considered her thoughtfully. A creature of frost and ice, available for me to summon as I needed. "I'll call you 'Shiva'," I said.

"Mmm, that doesn't sound right. Still, you can call me anytime, master Strife,~" she said with a wink. I was starting to worry she'd be a more troublesome summon than the parasprites.

As I trod through town, passing from Sweet Apple Acres to the Everfree, things had changed. The wind no longer caressed me lecherously as I walked. Instead, Shiva's spectral form wound around me, visible but impossible to feel. "Please stop giving me the silent treatment," she said after nothing else she'd had to say had gotten a reaction from me. The Apples hadn't reacted to the glowing blue ghost pony in the slightest, and I didn't really need more reasons for people to think I was crazy.

"Hi Cloud! Who's your new friend?" Pinkie Pie asked as she stopped me, passing me an envelope. "Rainbow's getting her own invitation, so she can be your '+1'!"

"You can see her?" I asked in surprise.

"Of course not, silly Billy. She's invisible!" Pinkie Pie responded, making me even more confused. "I'm Pinkie Pie, nice to meet you," she said, offering Shiva a hoof clop, and waiting just until the ghost's hoof reached the right spot before lowering her leg. "What's your name?"

"Cloud wants to call me Shiva," the windigo groused.

Pinkie giggled. "That's not much of a pony name. Oh, I know! You should call her 'Diamond Dust'! I'm sorry, Diamond, I can never get ponies to show up for a welcome to Ponyville party for ghosts, but you should come to my Hearths Warming Eve party with Cloud!"

She recoiled away from Pinkie until she started fading from view before drawing closer to me again. "I like the name, but Hearths Warming is deadly to my kind."

"Psshaw," Pinkie dismissed. "Cloud's from VII, not X. You're invincible!" With that the pink pony took her leave as suddenly as she had come.

I scratched my head in confusion. "Sorry, Shiva, I don't know what she was talking about either."

"It's Diamond Dust," she corrected. "And I think I shall join you for this party."

When I returned to the Everfree, the snow had stopped falling, but clouds kept the sun at bay, and the snow that had already fallen was still a thick mound piled over my clearing. Diamond was quite capable of adding more snow and ice to any situation, but removing it was outside of her skill set. And the parasprites were impossible to control, making them more of a threat to what remained of my house than I could afford to risk.

So it came down to me and a large shovel digging our way down while Diamond floated around me, distracting me with endless flirtation and innuendo. As a summon she could interact with me and keep me annoyed rather than lonely, but she was even less physically present than when she had been a ghostly wind thing. Using my magic to summon her physically was little help, since it left me in the ether while she was far less use with a shovel than I.

It took a week to dig out my home enough to resume work on it. The sofa had to be replaced entirely; this time I emphatically refused their offer of a free quill. My bed was finally done when I picked up the new couch, so I was able to bring that out as well. The walls, fortunately, had been well enough waterproofed to survive the ordeal with no noticeable rot.

Rainbow Dash visited a few times that week. Unlike Pinkie, she seemed completely unaware of Diamond's presence, which was probably for the best. But she was more distant than before, and completely unwilling to stay the night even when we got physically intimate. For the first time since I had come here, I was regularly satisfied in that way, but there was a growing dissatisfaction with the rest of our relationship. With the growing tension, something was going to give.

Chapter 16: Element of Jealousy

"When are you going to introduce everypony else to your new friend?" Pinkie asked as we gathered for our weekly training session. "You should show everypony else your new summon."

"I haven't shown most of them my first one, either," I mentioned.

"Sure, but everypony's seen the parasprites. Besides, they're just gross. And they don't talk much," she said. "Come on! I want to finally see Diamond Dust! It's not fair to make us wait all the way until the Hearth's Warming Eve party."

"Who or what is a Diamond Dust," Applejack asked. "Have you been foalnapping ponies and stuffing them in those little jangly balls o' yours?"

"Wait, are you talking about the windigo that attacked us?" Rainbow asked. "She deserves to just rot in there."

"Aww, she does still care,~" Diamond Dust purred. Even if she no longer ate conflict and strife, she still had a sadistic appreciation for it.

The word 'windigo' got Twilight interested, and she set her reading material aside and approached to see for herself. "That's not possible. Windigos have been extinct for centuries, since shortly after the unification of the tribes."

"She tells me she was trapped by a dragon most of that time," I explained.

"Tells you? Have you been summoning her alone? I warned you!" Rainbow growled.

"What? No. She just kind of floats around pestering me all day long," I complained.

"That's not a very nice way to put it," Diamond pouted. I wasn't inclined to take the gesture sincerely.

"That's it, Cloud, turn me into a summon so I can beat the snot out of her!" Rainbow demanded.

"Oh, oh! Maybe we can all be summons? Or all be a group summon, like Knights of the Round!" Pinkie said.

"What are you even talking about? No one can summon more than one being at a time," I objected.

"It'd be better for us all to be separate summons, anyways. An array of sparkling jewels, gleaming in the starlight," Rarity said wistfully, "of course I would be the most stunning of them all... perhaps the centerpiece of a magnificent necklace to complement your tiara..."

"Okay, no. I'm not turning any ponies into summons, ever," I said, "least of all my friends. Now can we get back to it?"

"Certainly, darling, don't leave us hanging any longer. Show us this new friend of yours," Rarity invited.

"Alright. Rainbow, you're with me," I said, calling her out of the line of ponies. "And Diamond, I swear, if you hurt them I swear you will never see the light of day again," I muttered under my breath.

Once Rainbow was at my side, I drew on my magic, pulling the two of us into the ether, letting us fade from reality even as Diamond Dust emerged into the physical world. She seemed a lot more 'real' than when we had fought her. She could sense it as well, and squealed with joy as she flew all around the clearing, surging with energy, laughing. She finally settled down before my friends.

"Why'd you pull me in here with you, Cloud?" Rainbow asked.

"Because you and Diamond Dust get along about as well as fire and ice," I answered. "I don't want either of you using the opportunity to antagonize each other."

"Don't leave me hanging, double D," Pinkie called out, holding up her hoof. Finally noticing it, the windigo swooshed up to her and gave a loud clop.

"This is great! I feel so alive, so... powerful," she said.

"If you think this is great, just wait till the party!" Pinkie replied.

"Yes the... party," Diamond said, looking away. "I'll be there."

"You better not wreck Pinkie's party!" Rainbow challenged. Diamond didn't respond. I still wasn't sure if summons could hear their callers from the ether. I wouldn't put it past Diamond to simply pretend not to hear.

"You're actually a real, live Windigo?" Twilight asked in amazement, even as she stole the tape measure from Rarity's saddlebags and began recording every detail of the creature she could measure. "How is that even possible?"

"A good question," Diamond responded. "I even seem considerably less dead than before I fought master Strife."

"You were dead before? Oh dear," Fluttershy commented with a shiver, hiding behind her hair.

"Can you explain how your kind are able to eat abstract concepts such as conflict?" Twilight inquired.

"Nope," Diamond answered.

"So where do you live when you're not bein' summoned?" Applejack questioned.

"In master Strife's dreams,~" Diamond answered. "I know Rainbow Dash is her official marefriend, but I'm the mare of her dr-" Only I heard the last syllable as the summon magic faded, removing her from reality as Dash and I reappeared. Only I heard it but nopony had any trouble guessing it.

Rainbow in particular made her feelings known with a hoof to my face. I caught her leg in my hand before she could pull back from her strike. "So you're dreaming about her now? What? Every night?"

"She invades my dreams. It's not like I have a choice about it," I said.

"Sure you do. Give somepony else the materia," Dash demanded.

"Oh! Oh! Pick me, pick me!" Pinkie volunteered.

"I'd love to be able to further interview the specimen," Twilight said.

"Diamond?" I asked.

"Why are you asking her?" Rainbow demanded.

"I'd rather not be with somepony that calls me 'specimen'," the windigo pointed out. So I removed her materia from my sword and tossed it to Pinkie Pie, losing sight of the windigo when I did.

"Woo hoo!" Pinkie yelled before singing a happy song about it. "Oh, oh! Can I try doing a summon attack? I wanna see how powerful my new materia is!"

"Woah, now, you're not trained in magic at all," Twilight objected, but Pinkie wrapped her up in a hug.

"Come with me! We'll have a private party in the ether! Oh, let's make it a threesome!" she said before dragging Applejack into it as well. Ignoring all objections, she vanished from view, dragging the two other mares with her.

As Diamond Dust reappeared, Rainbow Dash broke free from my grip, blurring through the air to strike the summoned Windigo. But Diamond was as elusive as the wind, slipping aside time and again as the infuriated pegasus tried and failed to lay a hoof on her.

"How was an earth pony like Pinkie able to use magic like that?" Rarity questioned, surprised, as she watched the exchange.

"That's what materia is," I said. "Knowledge of magic or other skills in physical form. I wasn't sure yet if ponies could use it, or just humans, but you can see for yourself."

Rainbow smashed into a tree in her haste to strike at the slippery winter spirit, stunning herself for a moment, and wasting more of her time untangling herself from its branches.

"I was called here for a reason," Diamond Dust said as she began gathering power into a growing, glowing ball of pale blue light. "You might want to stay out of the way, Rainbow Crash," she suggested. She pushed the ball forward and it expanded into a rushing onslaught of wind, blowing close enough to ruffle Rainbow's feathers while otherwise avoiding any of us. Where the wind blew ice crystals rapidly grew on ground and trees, coating them several inches thick.

"Augh! You too?!" Rainbow cried in rage. She tried one more charge, but rather than slam into the windigo fading from view, she slammed full force into an unmoving wall of orange fur fading back into existence. The earth pony rocked a bit on her hooves from the impact, but the pegasus was laid out on the ground. "Ugh, what hit me..."

"Maybe y'all should take the rest of the day off, sugarcube," Applejack said as she simply rocked back to fully upright. "Cool yer head a bit."

"That was simply amazing," Twilight said, clopping her hooves excitedly. "Can I try next? Perhaps with your other summon?"

"No. If you want to summon the win- Diamond Dust, then fine, but the parasprites are too destructive. I don't think I'll be summoning them again in any but the most dire circumstances," I said.

"Oh. So those poor creatures will just be locked up in that little gem all alone forever," Fluttershy questioned sadly.

"Sort of... I mean, they do creep into my dreams," I said with a shudder.

"Oh! Do you think... would you mind if..." Fluttershy quietly failed to ask.

I sighed, before unfastening the other summon and tossing it to the butter colored pegasus. "Don't summon them. They clearcut the space for my house in a single calling. And there's no way to... okay, well it is you. Maybe you could command them to not be so destructive."

Fluttershy began giggling and looking around and things only she could see as she held the materia in a wing. "Why hello there! I remember you little guy! I'm not sure about you. What's your name?" Another pegasus no longer able to train.

"I'm still amazed that an earth pony was able to work such powerful magic untrained. This materia of yours is incredible. It could revolutionize Equestria!" Twilight gushed.

"It's done impressive things where I'm from too," I said, though I couldn't help but frown at the thought. Shinra had done amazing things with materia, but not all of it was good.

"How hard is it for you to make more of it?" Twilight asked. "And how many different kinds are there? I know you have that green one that makes fire."

"The summons I can only make from defeated monsters, I think. That's a matter of opportunity," I said. "As for the green one? I made it from an oven. I think when I can put up the money for it, I'll be able to make more from other appliances. There's something about the way your technology works that interacts with me strangely. It's kind of a pain for me, though, since I can't use your modern conveniences myself."

"It's true, she can't even open the fridge without freezing everything on the shelves," Applejack added. "We lost a week's worth of groceries just from her grabbing the handle.

"The handle? I believe that's the charge point," Twilight mentioned. "Modern technology works by having certain charge points. When a pony touches them with a hoof or other part, even the magic from a unicorn's horn, the device draws some of their magic to keep it functioning."

"Let me guess, for the oven it's the control knobs," I said. When Twilight nodded I continued. "So when I touch the control point, the devices go haywire. I guess it's reacting to the mako inside me."

"We should do some tests to find out," Twilight suggested. "It's better to research it with proper scientific methodology than simply speculate."

"We'll get a few suitable devices to test on, then see if I can make more materia from them. We should all be outfitted with at least a few each, especially once we can get suitable weapons made for each pony, with materia slots like my sword," I said.

"That all sounds lovely," Rarity said, "but appliances don't come cheap. Nor weapons, I'm sure. Where are we going to get all the bits from?"

"What did you think Celestia was paying us for?" I asked. "Now let's focus, we're here to train."

"Let's start with something simple," Twilight suggested. Looking around her library, her eyes settled on a desk lamp. "There."

On Gaia, such a device would be plugged into a wall, taking electricity from a Shinra corp Mako reactor to power the light. Here there was no cord. "Alright," I said. "Let's see what we get." I started by touching the knob that must have been the charge point. I felt a little shock and the light went from off to blinding in an instant before dying out.

"Wow, you haven't even twisted the knob yet," Twilight said, recording notes with a levitating quill and scroll. I noted with fear that it matched the one from my home. An innocent coincidence; I had no doubt Sofas and Quills had a surplus of identical quills, but I also had no doubt my marefriend was going to take offense when she saw it.

Further experiments showed the lamp had become useless for the pony, but I could get more outburst from it. I started disassembling the fixture, and soon identified the little bit of crystal responsible for its function. Crystal in hand, I could draw the tiniest bit of magic to make a glowing orb of pure light that I could direct about. "This is draining me, almost imperceptibly slowly," I said. "I feel like it could do more... it's not uncommon for materia to grow with use and gain more abilities. Let's glass it, and move on. This should be handy around my house, even if it doesn't grow."

"Alright," Twilight said. "I ordered a new freezer, the smallest and cheapest I could find. It should be delivered soon. In the meantime, let's look at this sewing machine Fluttershy volunteered." Even as she spoke, she placed the crystal into one of the molds we had brought and poured green molten glass over it.

"Fluttershy can sew?" I asked as my hand touched the controls and the needle moved fast enough to create an ominous hum before breaking down.

"Apparently seriously enough she spent a month's salary on a new sewing machine, and didn't need her old one anymore," Twilight answered. "I wonder what this one will do?"

I started taking apart the machine, this one more complicated than the lamp had been. "A good question. Something to do with motion, I guess." Something drew me to the piece that would react, like an instinct. Another control crystal, this one a different shape and color, but recognizable enough. When I grasped it, I felt the power within. It wasn't like the others. This one granted a physical skill, rather than ordinary magic. "Put this one in yellow glass," I told Twilight as I handed it over.

"Why yellow?" Twilight asked, even as she did as I requested.

"This one's a 'Command' materia, not a 'Magic' materia. It allows the user short bursts of speed to make multiple attacks in quick succession," I explained. "Striking repeatedly like a sewing machine."

"That's... a rather strained analogy, but I see why you'd make it," Twilight said with a groan.

"I just wish there was a way we could convert the Element of Magic like this," I mentioned. "The tiara's far too vulnerable."

"I'm not sure it'd be a good idea to mess with the Elements like that, anyways," Twilight said. "I don't have any other appliances around we can spare to take apart. But, I do have some equipment downstairs in my laboratory. If you don't mind, I'd like to do some measurements on you, especially while you're activating some of this materia. It'd be great to be able to put some detailed scientific observations along with our more casual findings."

It was my turn to groan. "Alright... just no trying to put me in a glass tube, alright?"

"Why would I do something like that?" Twilight asked curiously as she lead me downstairs.

I was a bit surprised as I looked around at her equipment. It was bizarre looking, to my eyes at least, with blinking lights on what looked to be a sad mockery of a computer amidst the beakers and plumbing built in among the roots of the giant tree. Fortunately, none of the glass tubes were nearly large enough to contain me, making me more at ease.

"Here, just put this on your head, and place your hooves, I mean arms, here," the unicorn directed, providing me with a metal bowl covered in blinking lights. I followed her directions, trying not to tense when she strapped my arms in place. I trusted her, of course, but the metal restraints made me a little uneasy. Leather I would certainly be able to bust free from, but metal might prove a problem if things somehow went south.

"Alright, now what?" I asked. With my hands restrained, I couldn't swing my sword if I wanted to, but the materia within were still usable.

"First we take a baseline," she said. She wheeled over the computer-like contraption and started attaching wires. The first connected to my head without incident. The second attached to the thing holding my hands in place and immediately caused the machine to go haywire, spewing papers with wild, nonsense printed on them until the spool ran out, and the machine started smoking.

"I... I guess I should have seen that coming," Twilight said sadly. "At least maybe you can salvage something useful from it."

"I'll try," I offered. Once I was unrestrained, I got to work, though it was a much harder search before I found what I could use, another crystal formation deep within the insides.

"What about those others?" she asked, pointing out several other crystals within.

"I don't know. They're not reacting to me," I said with a shrug. "This is the part that's useful." Focusing on it, I could see it was another Command materia, though a very different nature. I used it to focus on Twilight, quickly learning her name, age, weight, height, race, as well as an estimate of her overall combat potential, physical durability and the depth of her magic pool. While some of that was known to me, some of it I would never have dared to ask. "This could be quite useful," I said with a grin even as I turned the power on myself.

That I was older, heavier, and taller than Twilight was no surprise. The difference in our physical durability was a bit shocking in its magnitude, but easily attributed to Mako conditioning. Likewise the difference in our combat level. I was surprised, however, to see her magic pool was deeper than mine. It made me wonder a moment why I was the one with the Element of Magic. But surely there was more to it than that. A deeper aspect of fate. After all, Rarity wasn't exactly the most generous mare in the world.

"What does it do?" Twilight asked after a minute. "Are you going to use it?"

"I already have," I said, tossing it to her. She tried holding it in one hoof but just shook her head. "Does it actually need the glass to function? That's another yellow one."

"Maybe it does. Let's go get it finished," she said, starting the way upstairs.

"Oh, there you are, sugarcube," Applejack greeted from upstairs, sounding a bit down despite her words. When I rounded the corner I could start to see why. She had Rainbow Dash with her, thoroughly tied up and fuming, and Pinkie Pie looking as down as I'd ever seen the mare. The black eye and other obvious bruises probably explained her low mood. "Seems we've got another 'discipline issue' on our hooves."

"Who wants to explain first?" I asked, directing my words toward Rainbow Dash.

"She laughed at me!" Rainbow accused Pinkie.

"So you beat her up?" I asked.

"I wasn't laughing at you, I was laughing at Diamond Dust," Pinkie countered. "She just happened to be near you at the time."

"Well... then she said there was no way I'd ever be a wonderbolt," Rainbow claimed.

"I was talking to DD then too," Pinkie explained. "She was saying she wished she could be a stunt flyer but she has trouble going in straight lines."

"Uh huh, and she just happened to be right where I was at the time?" Rainbow asked in disbelief. "Admit it, you were mocking me. Or she was and you were helping." The pegasus strained against her constraints, looking ready to pounce the earth pony again, but Applejack tightened the ropes and kept her pinned down.

"Now now, RD, this ain't helping your case none," the farmer pointed out. "Settle down and let's get this sorted out."

"That wasn't the worst of it, though. She was asking Diamond about your wet dreams!" That one got a blush out of me.

"She told me it rains sometimes in your dreams," Pinkie claimed.

"And then she asked the damn ghost what it was like licking your cock in your dreams!" Rainbow yelled. That one got Applejack and Twilight to blush.

"She... said there was a rooster in your dreams. And that she licked it," Pinkie said, giving a hopeful grin.

"That's... sounding pretty unlikely Pinkie," I pointed out.

"Well she did," Pinkie said before sighing. "Okay... I admit, by that point I was just enjoying egging you on. I'm sorry," she told Rainbow Dash, sounding at least somewhat repentant.

"So that's when you attacked her?" I asked.

"No. It was when she told the windigo she was going to have a private party with just the three of you," Rainbow said.

"Well, she did say she still wanted to have a welcome to Ponyville party even though I already told her nopony liked to show up for those for ghosts," Pinkie said. "I walked right into that one, didn't I?"

"It'd be hard to do so more completely if you tried," I said. "Pinkie, there's such a thing as jokes that are best left unsaid. Taunting someone into attacking you might be a decent combat strategy at the right time, but it's never called for with friends. Your punishment is, well, I'd say you've been punished for it. But if you can't handle having Diamond Dust around without letting her taunt you into things like this..."

"You should give me the summon materia," Rainbow said.

"That sounds like the worst possible idea," I pointed out. "If she can do this to you when you can't see or hear her, what makes you think you can keep your cool when you can?"

"It'll be easier. She can't sneak around pulling any of these stunts like that if I'm the only one that can hear her," Rainbow countered.

I looked to the others for opinions. "Why don't I hold onto her instead? I still want to interview her," Twilight said.

"She did say she didn't want to be with a pony that called her a 'specimen'. Alright, that will have to suffice for Diamond's punishment for now," I said. I took the materia from Pinkie, noting as the windigo faded into my vision.

"A punishment, huh? Do your worst," Diamond said, sticking her tongue out.

"If you're going to continue to cause strife within our group, you'll end up locked in a safe somewhere for the next thousand years," I said before handing her off to Twilight. "Behave and you'll at least always have somepony to spend time with."

"Oh! There you are," Twilight said. "Now, I'd appreciate your honest answers on some questions I have about the pre-unification time period," the librarian said as she started to trot away from us.

I started to untie Rainbow Dash. "As for you, Dash. Your punishment is... we're taking a break. After Hearth's Warming, if you want to try again I'll take you on another date. In the meantime, you need to get some help getting that temper under control."

"What?! No! Don't do this! That's almost a month away!" Rainbow complained. "Come on, I'll do better! I promise!"

"You will do better, or you're out of the Elements entirely," I said firmly. "Your jealous outbursts have been bad enough, but attacking a teammate like that? That is completely out of line, and I can't have it in my team. You have another chance, but you're going to have to prove yourself. Prove you're better than this," I said, pointing to the injured mare.

"I will," she said firmly, determined. I just hoped that determination would stand up to the next temptation.

Chapter 17: A Midwinter's Night Dream

"Hey, why don't we make a promise?" Tifa asked. "Umm, if you get really famous and I'm ever in a bind... You come save me, all right?"

"What?" I asked, a bit surprised. We were sitting side by side on the old water tower, overlooking our hometown. Just a little girl and a little boy, talking about the future.

"Whenever I'm in trouble, my hero will come and rescue me," she said confidently. "I want to at least experience that once."

"What?" I asked again. Was this just romance novel bullshit, or...

"Come on--! Promise me--!" she insisted.

Finally, I caved. She was my best friend, after all. "All right.... I promise."

The scene shifted subtly. We were older. Adults now. And I was a woman. Not just any woman, the Element of Magic. The tiara sat on my head, my new sword at my back. "So then... why haven't you rescued me yet? You promised," she said accusingly.

"But, I can't! How am I supposed to even get there? I'm in a whole other world," I objected.

"Magic! You're the Element of Magic, right? Surely you can find a way," she countered. "Besides, have you even really tried?"

"You really haven't, have you?" Diamond Dust asked, making me realize I was in a dream. "You were even building a damn house. Some hero you are,~" she taunted.

I looked down at her, where she floated near the ground in the town square. "What are you doing here? I thought you were with Pinkie."

"Oh, she is!" Pinkie said, as she carried a table set with a punch bowl and several trays of confections out into the town square and set it down. "But she's always in your dreams no matter who has the materia."

"Even if I accept that logic," I began. "How are you here?"

"Rule of Funny," she answered with a shrug before going back for more tables.

I gave up trying to understand the Element of Laughter and focused instead on the windigo. "So you've switched tacks," I commented.

She paused a moment to realize what I meant before slipping up to the water tower and wrapping around me. "Don't get me wrong, I think it's sweet you'd rather stay with your marefriend than uphold your old promise, and a lucky opportunity for me. Especially once your breakup with Crash becomes permanent."

I stiffened, not wanting to touch her in a way that could be misconstrued as friendly, but not quite at the point of wanting to physically shove her away. "You've been pushing pretty hard for that, haven't you? What makes you think I'll go for you if we do break up? Or was that ever the point? I feel like you're just pretending to be into me to help break us up."

At least she unwound from me, extending out to the side opposite Tifa. The dream version of my childhood friend was getting miffed at me, but she was just a figment of my imagination, so I ignored her and that literally caused her to go away.

"That mare's no good for you, master Strife, and if you were honest with yourself you'd admit it," Diamond said. "But I'm not the jealous type, and I'm hoping your next marefriend doesn't mind if you partake in... what's the word... 'wet dreams'.~"

That reminded me of the conversation earlier, and I looked down at where Pinkie was winding up to throw the rope for a piñata over the watertower's pipe. "Hey, Pinkie. I thought you were joking about the private party with the three of us," I called down.

"Oh, don't worry, that's not what this is," Pinkie assured me.

"Really?" Diamond asked, a bit surprised herself, but she shrugged it off and turned back to me. "What is this place, anyways?"

"This is Nibelheim, the town I grew up in," I said.

"Really?" she asked, surprised again. "It looks so... normal. After some of your other dreams, I thought your world was all super crazy. This almost looks like Ponyville, but with everything stretched higher for some reason."

"Well, humans are generally taller than ponies," I said.

"Rawr!" a thirty-foot tall slavering pink beast said, suddenly towering over us as it made to chomp down at me with an immense, tooth filled maw. In my surprise, I cowered a moment as my heart rate raced. I reached for my sword, only to find it had been replaced with a floppy live swordfish, wobbling uselessly as I failed to brandish it.

"Fear not!" Nightmare Moon said as she emerged into the dream, horn glowing with energy. But the pink monster suddenly popped like a balloon, raining confetti down on us all. Party hats fell down onto each of our heads amidst the debris.

"Surprise!" Pinkie shouted from below where she was standing next to an air pump.

"What is the meaning of this?!" Nightmare Moon demanded.

"Yeah... Pinkie? Explain," I insisted.

"Well, I had to make it a nightmare so Luna would come to your rescue, so she could come to her own surprise birthday party!" Pinkie explained.

"Birthday party? What... how did you know it was my birthday?" the stunned alicorn questioned.

"Oh, well, Cloud made a new materia that can detect birthdays," Pinkie stated.

"Is this true, Cloud?" the princess asked.

"Well, yes, but," I began.

"Thank you, Pinkie Pie," Nightmare Moon said as she descended to survey the decorations. "Come, let us eat, drink and be merry."

"It's just a dream," I stated as I hopped down from the water tower.

"Which means we can eat all the sweets we like without worrying about our figure," the alicorn pointed out, just before enjoying a few hors d'oeuvres. "Speaking of which, where are the cake and candy?"

"She makes a good point," Diamond concurred. "Just hurry before the parasprites come for it."

"Oh, don't worry, I've got them preoccupied with the mariachi band out by the reactor," Pinkie reassured us. "Now, would the birthday girl like first crack at the piñata? The cake will be out in a little bit."

"Piñata?" the princess asked. After a quick explanation she grinned as she took hold of a rather dangerous looking baseball bat. The business end was sheathed in metal with dozens of unevenly spaced nails sticking out that seemed unnecessary for the task. "Violence and candy? We think we shall like this party game," she said as Pinkie slipped the blindfold over her eyes.

"See, I told you she's still evil," I whispered to Pinkie. "And where'd you get that bat?"

"Some ancient temple," Pinkie answered with a shrug. "And Luna's not evil anymore, you and her just have a lot in common."

Diamond Dust whirled around Nightmare Moon several times, spinning her around until she was nice and dizzy. The alicorn stumbled around a bit, laughing as she swung her bat experimentally. We all kept our distance, not wanting to get caught in a wayward swing. Her first two went completely wide before the third connected with a sharp crack, a half dozen pieces of candy falling to the cobblestones only to be immediately scooped up in the princess' magic.

"Sweet!" Pinkie Pie said. "Who goes next?" Diamond raised her hoof eagerly, but the question was clearly directed at the princess.

"We believe Lady Cloud should be next to participate. Will you do the honors?" she asked, offering me the bat.

"No, I'll pass," I declined. "Why don't you let Diamond Dust have a swing at it.

Nightmare looked mildly annoyed, but passed the bat off to the eager windigo.

"What do you mean we have a lot in common?" I asked Pinkie.

"Well, you both have trademarkably distinctive hair, you're both shippably good looking, and you both have violent protector tendencies," Pinkie listed. "Now that I think of it, maybe you'd make a cute couple. Better add it to my grid." With that she took out an improbably large chart with pairs of pony heads and a few non-pony heads facing off. A few had been circled, including myself and Rainbow Dash, though that paring now had a question mark by it. She took a copy of my face off a roll of stickers and a similar image of Nightmare Moon's and placed them facing one another on an empty cell in the grid before nodding to herself and putting the chart away.

Before she put it away, I noticed she had also had me paired off with most of the other Elements, Diamond Dust, Princess Celestia, the blacksmith, Doctor Horse, Twilight Sparkle, Aeris, Tifa, Barret, some other woman I didn't recognize, and several other ponies I didn't know. It was an awfully large chart, and perhaps it was self-centered to only look at my own parings. At least I was helped by having such a recognizable face. She had a point about the hair.

"Do you really have a sticker chart of all the potential romantic parings you can think of?" I asked, interrupted by the crack of bat on cardboard and the tinkling of little candies on the ground.

"Of course not, silly billy! This is a dream," Pinkie Pie said. Before I could be too relieved though, she clarified. "The real one is hoof-drawn."

"Your turn, Lady Pie," the princess commanded, as Diamond offered up the bat. The piñata was in bad shape but still contained a good amount of treats.

"Alright!" Pinkie said enthusiastically, winding up to swing even before she was spun around.

I turned back to Diamond Dust as she returned with her hooves full of candy, munching on the imaginary treats. "You pointed out earlier that I hadn't really tried to get back to my world. Do you have any idea how I would even begin to pursue such an option?"

Diamond shrugged. "I'm not really the one to ask. The Princess could help you more there," she said. "Or maybe sparkle-butt."

I glanced over at Nightmare Moon as she eagerly awaited Pinkie's success with the bat. The first swing struck one of the water tower's legs, bending and cracking it, making the whole thing shift ominously. I tensed to rush to get them away from there, but then remembered it was all just a dream, and decided to let the pink pony deal with the consequences of her carelessness herself. If anything did come of it, a bit of dream water wasn't going to do any real harm.

"You're right, I should talk to Celestia about it, or at least write her a letter. She seems to like those," I agreed. The darker alicorn gave me another annoyed look, but broke off when Pinkie demolished the piñata with a solid hit, scattering impossibly large piles of candy throughout the square. Cheers rose from all the ponies present, Diamond's voice added a bit belatedly.

"I'll be right back!" Pinkie promised before stuffing her mouth with treats, eating them with the wrappers still on as she slipped out of view.

"It's up to you. If you do manage to leave and go home, you're leaving your new friends and everyone else who has come to depend on you in the lurch, just like you did to your human friends," Diamond said, a bit of taunting evident in her voice.

I frowned at her, annoyed, then frowned at Pinkie Pie as she wheeled a massive cake covered in a ridiculous number of candles out, and used dream logic to pull a flamethrower out of her mane and light them all at once. There must have been thousands of candles, which made sense when I remembered the reinstated princess had spent a millennium in solitary confinement. For her own part, the princess seemed a bit embarrassed, doubly so when she was unable to blow them all out in one go, and the proximity of the tightly packed candles allowed the flames to spread back onto the ones that she had managed to blow out.

Nightmare drew in an exaggeratedly massive breath, blowing with enough force to send her flying backwards, yet still not enough to put out the flames, apparently. At least not directly. She struck the water tower hard, buckling the damaged leg, and dumping a thousand gallons of water onto the cake, washing away all of the candles and much of the icing, leaving a sad, soggy mess in its wake, that barely served to break dream-Tifa's fall. The figment stormed off, leaving the scene so she could be forgotten properly, while all three ponies got a good laugh in at her expense.

I let out something between a grunt and a growl as I got up and stormed after her. It was as much to get away from the ponies and their antics as it was to follow Tifa, which was good because I quickly lost sight of her and she didn't reappear as I went. She had been heading toward the mountain, so I climbed it, stopping only when I reached the reactor. I pushed past the swarm of hopping parasprites, going inside and sitting on a catwalk, legs dangling down over the massive drop into the green glowing exposed section of the lifestream. I was alone, just me and my thoughts, which was what I wanted at the moment. The strange, festive music from the colorfully dressed quartet outside was dim here, just enough to keep the silence from being oppressive.

I had a good few minutes of solitude to rest before hoofsteps threatened to intrude. I didn't let them, not when it was just hoofsteps. Even when the pony plopped down next to me, I ignored her, not even taking the time to notice which of them it was. I had a few more minutes of quiet to reflect before she spoke.

"She should have asked you, or invited you, rather than just impose," Nightmare Moon said. "Though I still don't think that justifies the rudeness."

"Rudeness?" I questioned enthusiastically, keeping my eyes locked to the swirling, flowing green light below. Even in my dreams, it was majestic.

"Ignoring me at my own birthday party, refusing to participate in the party games, not using my name, even dragging others into other conversations and out of the joy of the celebration, and then storming off like this," she listed off. "In short, you've been a terrible venue."

At that I finally looked at her. She looked like she was trying very hard to scowl but couldn't help the slightest of silly grins. It finally broke through to me and I couldn't help but grin myself at the comment, snorting in my effort to hold back a laugh.

"She should have made a reservation," I said. "I didn't know it was your birthday." After a moment I added "Luna."

"I don't know how she knew, even if she had your materia," Luna said. "It's been over a thousand years since anypony has thrown me a birthday party, and if anyone were to look up such an obscure historical fact I would have expected it to be the librarian."

"That I can't even guess at," I admitted. "Pinkie Pie is always full of surprises."

Luna shrugged. "However she found out, I'm glad. It was a fun diversion." She looked at me and teasingly added "despite the venue."

"This part is nice though, isn't it?" I asked, staring into the swirling motion below.

"It's a pit full of the dead, and a part of your memories of the most scarring moments of your life," Luna pointed out. "Where you're hiding from your friends, surrounded by music just loud enough to encourage you to strain your ears."

I frowned at her, at a loss for words.

"You need to learn to at least dream about having a good time," she said.

I raised an eyebrow, looking at her questioningly until she blushed.

"I didn't mean like that!"

"Good. I've had enough of ponies trying to get themselves into my wet dreams," I said.

Her wings shifted subtly at that, I wasn't sure what to make of the gesture. "I should go," she said. "There are other ponies whose dreams require my assistance, and you'll be fine here alone. But we should talk more. I wouldn't mind a letter myself."

"Alright, Luna. We'll talk again. I promise."

The music eventually stopped playing, and sometime later Diamond Dust joined me, coiling herself around my midsection as she settled down to look down into the lifestream with me. My thoughts had become as tumultuous as the writhing souls below, and I was actually grateful for the distraction.

"Pinkie's cleared out. And the parasprites are eating up the mess. Not that it matters," Diamond Dust explained.

It didn't. It was just a dream, I was pretty sure it'd be back the way it was next time I dreamed of this place regardless. "How has Twilight been treating you?" I asked instead.

"She goes on and on, questioning me about stuff I can barely remember from before that dragon stuffed me in his snow-globe, and then interrupting half the time to talk over me about whatever some dusty old book has to say about the subject," Diamond groused. "It's annoying, but it's not that bad actually. I just wish she were more mean-spirited about it. I know I don't have to eat anymore, but that doesn't mean I can't taste."

"How does that even work, anyways?" I asked. "Eating strife... does that drain the strife out of the person you're feeding on, or what?"

"No, that'd be dumb," she replied. "We use their emotions as a pathway to drain their magic, use that as sustenance. Though... I guess that should be past tense, hmm? No more windigos." I was a bit surprised their wasn't any obvious sadness in her voice or expression at that.

"You're the last? What happened to your kind?" I asked.

"I'll tell you at the party," she said.

Chapter 18: Hearth's Cooling Eve

Back on Gaia, we had an annual celebration on the shortest day of winter. The solstice was a day to remember the lifestream; remind ourselves of those we've lost, and take comfort in the fact that, just as the warmth of summer always came back around again, our spirits and theirs would come around again in due time as the lifestream fed back into new births, both human and otherwise. It was a bit sobering to think about the fact that I was on another world altogether, one which, as far as I could determine, had no equivalent of Gaia's lifestream. What would that mean for my spirit if I should die before getting home? I didn't really want to think about it.

I was helped in that endeavor by thoughts of the ponies' own winter celebration. Hearths Warming Eve was a celebration of the unification of the ponies in times long passed. Before the commemorated events, the pony tribes were apparently separate and each only looking after their own interests, bickering frequently between them. During the winter, a tribe of windigos came upon them, feeding on their strife and using it to fuel their chilling magic. The deepened winter lead to a food shortage for all three tribes, further exacerbating their strife, and feeding the windigos more. But then the leaders of the three tribes made peace with one another, banding together and creating something called the 'fires of friendship' that allowed them to defeat the windigos and drive back the cold.

It was hard to be certain what the 'fires of friendship' really were. But what was certain was that there was a windigo intent on attending Ponyville's Hearths Warming Eve party this year, and the hostess was determined to make that happen. At least it gave me more immediate things to worry about than the long term ramifications of my mortality.

The party was held in the barn at Sweet Apple Acres. This far into the winter, the barn saw relatively little use, and it was one of the largest buildings in town, so it served well enough as a venue. As I arrived, I could see Pinkie's handiwork on fine display. The decorations were quite distinctive, with some serving well to remind me of the stories Twilight had shared with me, while others simple raised new curiosities. The spread of foods brought new curiosities as well, and I took the time to sample several treats we didn't have back home. But not until after visiting the mound of presents to set down the gifts I had brought for my friends.

Looking around I noticed Fluttershy trying to get my attention from near the firepit that stood before the barn. I hoped she hadn't been trying for long, as I strolled over to greet her. "What's going on over here?" I inquired.

The firepit was ringed with a number of little cloth pony dolls. The distinctive colors and little embroidered flank marks made it reasonably easy to identify the individuals. The most distinctive one of all was in Fluttershy's hooves as she offered it up to me. "Here, Cloud. I made this for you," the mare said quietly. "It's tradition to place dolls of ourselves around the fire to remind us of the warmth of friendship shared on the night of unification."

I smiled and thanked her before looking over the other dolls. The element bearers' dolls were clustered together, and I went to place mine among them when I paused. Seeing Rainbow Dash's doll made me remember our own strained relationship. I had told her tonight would be the end of her probation, that I would consider dating her again only after tonight had passed. I wondered how much attention she would pay to the simple matter of where I place my doll in relation to hers. If I were missing her badly and eager to get back together, I would place my figure by her side, a bit apart from the others, maybe even with the doll's hand on her doll's mane. If I were feeling particularly annoyed or angry with her still, I would place it on the far side of our friends from her. As it was, I placed it in front of our group, with the five of them arrayed in a semicircle before me, equidistant from mine. As I met Fluttershy's eyes once again, she gave a faint smile and a quiet nod. I think she understood, even if I wasn't sure whether Rainbow would even notice.

My sharp eyes caught a bit of white cloth poking out from a snowbank a short distance away, and I moved to investigate. It was another pony doll, this one a slightly bluish off-white, with a thick flowing tail in place of hind hooves, and no cutie mark. "Oh, hay, I see you found it," Diamond Dust said as she came to my side. "Crash said a windigo shouldn't be anywhere near the fire, and tossed it out here. I actually agree, as the snow sounds a lot more comfortable to me, but I'd like it to at least be somewhere visible."

I gave a grunt of annoyance and brought the doll back to the others, placing it next to Pinkie Pie's, on the opposite end of the semicircle from Rainbow Dash's. "You're with us now, even if that means you need to endure a bit of warmth."

"Sure, sure, Master Strife," Diamond concurred. "Oh, Pinkie says it's about time for the flag raising."

"Ponies of Ponyville!" a powerful voice boomed out, silencing all conversation and instantly focusing all eyes on the pair of alicorns descending by the flagpole. Once she had all of our attention, Nightmare, I mean Princess Luna continued. "Rejoice! For your rulers have come to celebrate our unification with you!"

A pony coughed nervously, as they traded looks, seeming unsure how to respond.

"If somepony would please do the honors of raising it, we have brought a newly woven flag from the seamstresses in Canterlot to mark the occasion," Princess Celestia offered, as her magic carried forth the folded cloth.

A quick glance revealed Rarity's disappointed sigh before a raised hoof demanded my attention. "Oh, oh, can I do it? Please?!"

Celestia let her surprise show through for only a moment, while Luna grinned happily. "Please do, Diamond Dust," the lunar diarch encouraged.

With an admirable show of decorum, the windigo took the flag depicting the two alicorns and reverently affixed it to the flagpole, before slowly raising it to the top of the pole. When it began to hang limply she called on a small bit of her winter magic to summon a slight zephyr, just enough to set it flapping triumphantly, lined up perfectly to show it off to the gathered ponies. Celestia shifted her weight a bit at the display, masking her emotions while her sister grinned still. The rest of the ponies present saluted the flag reverently before cheering. Diamond quickly flew back among them, chatting animatedly with a few as she followed the crowd in.

"I can't believe the Princesses picked her of all ponies to raise the flag!" Rainbow groused as she hovered over toward me. "She's not even a pony!"

"She volunteered," I stated. "If you wanted to do it, you should have volunteered."

"Well sure, bring logic into it," she complained.

"I would have volunteered," Twilight volunteered as she trotted up to my other side. "But she beat me to it, and I didn't really want to deprive her of the opportunity. This is a historic event! The first time a windigo has actually participated in a Hearths Warming Eve celebration! And she even raised the flag! It's an honor just to be able to take notes on the event," she gushed, even as a scroll floating near her filled with writing.

"I was worried she might try to sabotage the whole thing, but so far she seems to be on her best behavior, perhaps better than I've ever seen from her," I commented. I glanced at Rainbow, biting back a comment on her behavior.

"Oh, I've shared a lot of notes with her the last few weeks to prepare her for the occasion, from things specific to the holiday, to general party etiquette and polite behavior in public settings in general. As unfamiliar as she was with all of those topics, she's certainly proven to be a quick study," Twilight beamed. "And this will be my chance to show my own teacher how much I've learned from her about how to be a good teacher!" Her happiness faltered shortly after she said that, a growing sense of nervousness creeping over her.

"I'm sure you did a great job teaching her," I reassured. "If she messes it up at this point I'm sure it will be on purpose. But it appears she's decided to apply your lessons wholeheartedly."

"She's just trying to lull us into a false sense of security," Rainbow assured us.

"We'll see. You each have the opportunity tonight to prove yourselves for good or for ill," I told her. She cringed a bit at the reminder and settled onto her hooves, walking the rest of the way to the tables.

With such a large gathering, I would have expected a buffet or something of the like, but as we took our seats we found ourselves served by hoof. Diamond Dust hand carried each pony's meal to them. A handful of them were clearly specifically tailored for individuals. Granny Smith's lacked some of the harder elements that would be troublesome for her teeth, with other foods piled on to compensate. The princesses received larger portions than the rest, befitting not only their station but their larger bodies. My own meal included a filet of fish, and lacked anything resembling hay or hay products. Twilight's was immaculately laid out, with no two food items touching.

Rainbow growled, looking after Diamond Dust's retreating form as her meal was delivered. I looked over to see why, but it wasn't immediately apparent. It looked like it had been carefully arranged my a master chef. It was as carefully arranged as Twilight's, but with different foods touching in an artfully arranged fashion, topped with a bit of garnish the other's lacked. It looked fine to me. Better than fine, it looked like the best plate on the table, generally speaking. "Here, trade," Dash insisted, swapping her plate with Fluttershy's. The other pegasus shrugged and dug in, giving a little 'mmm' at the taste of it.

When all of the food had been deployed, Diamond took a spot at the foot of the table and began tapping a butter knife to a glass. "I'd like to offer a toast, if I may."

"Here we go," Rainbow said.

"You may," Princess Celestia allowed. "Let's all hear what our gracious hostess has to say on this fine occasion."

With all eyes on her, Diamond Dust began her speech. "Today marks a celebration. Not only of the foundation of your fine, beautiful, friendfilled country. But also of a remarkable triumph! Over a thousand years ago, on this day, your people faced starvation, and either extinction or perhaps enslavement by my own people. But rather than succumb to adversity, your ancestors rose to the occasion, banded together, and with the strength of your friendship turned the tables. With the fires of friendship you thawed the snows, and not only survived the winter but triumphantly drove my own people to starvation and extinction. I am humbled and honored to be able to join you, the victorious conquerors at your table and celebrate your triumph with you, even though I am one of the vanquished myself. Thank you." She banged on the glass a few more times, smiling at the gathered ponies before setting it down.

Nopony else was smiling. I glanced around the room, observing the stunned silence. I suspected Diamond had been sarcastic in much of what she said, but nothing in her inflection backed up that thought. She sounded sincere and genuine, and as the silence dragged on, she seemed to actually be losing her smile, eyes darting from pony to pony as she tried to judge what she had done wrong.

"Hear, hear!" Princess Luna declared. "To defeating our enemies with friendship, and then inviting them home to dinner!" A few other ponies laughed nervously at this, while one of them hit the floor with a thud, apparently feinting.

"Yes... thank you, Diamond Dust, for your... most unique take on this holiday," Princess Celestia managed to get out.

With Diamond's smile fully restored, the ponies and I slowly got back into the act of eating, subdued conversation slowly limping back into being minutes later.

As the ponies and I finished eating dinner, Diamond paused in her drifting among the guests to give a rather hasty goodbye, before she faded back into the ether. Pinkie Pie reappeared in her wake, drawing in a deep breath and shouting "time for presents!" This apparently meant in part as a diversion, as the mare herself rushed to grab her own plate from the kitchen, mounded high with every manner of food that was on offer, including a number of desserts we hadn't been offered yet.

Ponies started tearing at the pile of presents in a disorganized mob, checking labels before just discarding gifts that weren't for them, until Twilight stepped in and gathered the discarded gifts back up, reading off each label and calling out the recipient's name. She didn't read aloud the names of the gift givers, but I could recognize our names well enough to see the Elements were disproportionately represented. It was only fitting; we were well funded, so it was only right we should give a bit more generously. Rarity might have been overdoing it: she seemed to be the only one even among our number who had given away more gifts than the aptly named Filthy Rich. I suppose she had a reputation to maintain, or perhaps earn, as the Element of Generosity. Or perhaps she was feeling guilty, still, for the incident with the dragon.

The princesses were quite generous in their own right, but with the coffers of the nation at their disposal, I expected that was easy to do. Luna offered me a new sword. It had a blade that widened farther from the handle, giving it a balance that took some getting used to but gave it a powerful striking weight if I could get it up to speed against my target. Runic markings on the blade apparently served to enhance the four materia slots embedded in it; something that surprised me coming from the ponies.

"We saw it in one of your dreams," Luna explained. "When we commissioned it made by our royal blacksmith, our royal enchanter said the markings inspired him with just the right augmentation. It should serve you well."

"I don't recall seeing it in my dreams," I noted as I gave it a few careful test swings. It reminded me a bit of an axe the way the weight was focused, but I was strong enough to use it, still. And four slots was a nice addition.

"It was in one of those treasure chests you walked right past without opening," Luna mentioned. "We admit to having grown curious and opening it."

I looked at her with a raised eyebrow, wondering how any of that could possibly have made sense. Then I remembered Pinkie Pie had been in one of my dreams and thrown a birthday party, and decided dreams logic was best left unquestioned. "Thank you, Princess, the gift is most welcome."

My own gifts to the princesses were somewhat less practical, but just as well received. I got them each a bottle of bath oils, made by Zecora from plants within the Everfree. While they were admittedly inexpensive, all told, I knew they were difficult to acquire outside of the small supply the zebra provided the spa.

"Here, Cloud, open mine!" Rainbow Dash insisted, shoving an unlabeled box into my hands.

"Alright, but you should open mine to you, as well," I said, before asking Twilight to pass it to her.

The speedy pegasus had my gift to her open, wrapping paper shredded and discarded, before I could get the tab out of the unwrapped box she had given me. "A piece of metal junk in green glass?" she asked, sounding confused and disappointed, until she picked it up in one hoof. As the knowledge locked within the materia flowed into her mind, the newfound understanding changed her expression instantly. "Oh! I love it! I love it, I love it, I love it!" Light flared as she called on the magic within to cast a Haste spell on herself before tackling me with enough speed and force to drive me into the wall half way across the room, winding me and keeping me from catching my breath with a sudden, fierce, passionate kiss.

Somewhere in the move the box in my hands had fallen open, and I'd managed to snag hold of the contents. My fingers gripped something round and rubbery, but I couldn't see it with the multicolor mane blocking my view, and I was much too distracted to worry about what it was just yet. Several other ponies were gasping at us, and one or two mares were giggling. But I pushed their reactions to the back of my mind for the moment while I met those lips once again.

It had been a few weeks since I'd had any more sensual contact with anyone than just the occasional tease from Diamond Dust in my dreams. I'd gotten fairly good, at last, at suppressing that side of myself and focusing on what I needed to do. But the fresh, passionate contact opened the flood gates and made me more than a little light headed. Mild oxygen deprivation only served to heighten that effect. So I was a little giddy when we finally parted and I got a chance to see what it was she had given me.

Not giddy enough.

There in my hand, for all of the other Elements, the townsfolk of Ponyville, and even the Princesses to see was a rubber phallus, sized and shaped like a typical pony stallion, and attached to a pair of leather panties, with a second head extending inward for the wearer's pleasure. A few of the ponies, including Fluttershy, had outright fainted at the sight of it. Luna and Rarity were giggling uncontrollably. Applejack's expression was unreadable, as her hat was pulled down low over her eyes. Princess Celestia watched wordlessly, her eyes seeming to judge me but keep that judgement to herself. Most of the other ponies simply stared with gaping mouths.

I dropped the sex toy and stormed off, wordless and blushing fiercely enough my cheeks felt like they had caught fire. My pulse was pounding in my ears, and I barely caught Rainbow saying something behind my back. I broke into a sprint, mako burning through my blood as I tore through the snow. I managed to make it to the treeline before a rainbow blur crossed my path, and I slammed headlong into the hovering pegasus, knocking her into the snow as I crashed to my knees.

"I said 'wait up'," Rainbow said. "What was that all about?"

"What was that all about?!" I repeated. "You gave me a sex toy in front of all of Ponyville, and the Princesses!"

"It wasn’t supposed to just pop out in front of everypony like that.”

"Then maybe you shouldn’t have given it to me in such a public event," I countered. "If you'd given it to me in private, after we actually started dating again, I'd probably be grateful. Heck, I'd probably have been willing to try it with you tonight if you could have just gone the length of the party without making an ass of yourself. But you not only manage to come off as worse than the goddamned spirit of conflict graciously hosting our dinner party, but embarrass me in front of every pony I've ever met while staking a claim you don't currently have a right to. And at this point... I think we’re done."

We looked at each other in silence, slowly cooling off in the snow, until Rainbow finally realized what I had just said. “Wait, so it’s over?! Just like that? Over one little present?!”

“Our relationship started as a dare, remember?” I pointed out. “It’s gone well past that… well past what it had any reason to be. We’ve had some fun, and… as embarrassing as this was, I really enjoyed being physically intimate with you-”

“You can just say ‘sex’. Unless you’re too embarrassed.”

I clenched my fist a moment, taking a deep breath before continuing. “You’re still one of the Element Bearers and I hope you’ll still be my friend. But we’re not dating anymore. We’re not a good match. And beyond that, you have some growing up to do before you’re ready for a marefriend, or whatever you ponies call boyfriends-”

“Coltfriend.”

“Right.” I closed my eyes and breathed a few more times to calm myself. “You can skip the next couple training sessions if you want. I know it might be hard to jump back in the swing of things after this. It’s one reason it’s not a good idea for commanding officers to date their subordinates, but I made that mistake and now we need to accept the consequences.We do still need you, Loyalty, when you’re ready.”

Her lip quivered a bit before she looked me in the eye with fierce determination and saluted. “I’ll be there this weekend, Magic.”

I returned the salute, then looked back at the barn, where the party was continuing without us. “I don’t think I can go back there…”

Rainbow looked on for a moment, before looking up at me. “Can I escort you home?” she asked sheepishly.

I hesitated, then shook my head. “No, Rainbow. I want to be alone now. It’s better for you if I have a chance to cool off.”

I only saw the heartbroken look on her face for an instant as I turned away, but it haunted my mind the whole walk home. Still, I knew this was right.

“Now, this really isn’t fair,” Diamond Dust said. “Hilarious as hell, but not fair.”

Her words made me realize I was in a dream, and further that the copy of her chasing me around the house wearing the strap-on dildo was just a figment of my imagination rather than an occupant. I dismissed the figment with a wave of my hand, before sighing and settling onto the dream version of my sofa. It was impossibly comfortable, but had the unfortunate tendency to sprout dozens of quills that distinctly resembled Fluttershy’s feathers whenever I sat on it.

“How did the rest of the party go after I left?” I inquired nervously.

“Well, you weren’t exiled or fired, so there’s that,” Diamond offered. “Though I think you’re at the top of the town’s gossip list for the time being.”

Luna emerged as Diamond spoke, adding her own thoughts. “I would like to apologize for laughing at your expense tonight. It was clear you didn’t mean to expose such a thing to everypony present, especially given the other contents of the box.”

“What other contents?” I asked. In my haste I had left the gift behind in its entirety.

Luna produced a dream copy of the box in question, the familiar unmarked structure. I opened it carefully, this time, and saw a card on top. Unfortunately, here in the dream, I couldn’t read it. Beneath was a gemstone in some kind of metal rig with a glass lens. It was sitting atop a piece of brown paper, hiding a now familiar shape beneath.

“That crystal is a recent invention Miss Sparkle was able to identify for me,” Luna explained. “It projects a stored series of images and sounds, a ‘movie’, recorded within. They are quite expensive, most commonly purchased by theatres to show to dozens of ponies at a time for a few bits each.”

“She never meant for everyone to see the, uh, other gift?” I questioned.

“I can’t speak for Miss Dash,” Luna said, “but I expect not.”

“Do you know what the card said?” I inquired.

“If I did, you would be able to read it here,” she replied. “I thought it rude to read your private correspondence. Nor do I know what movie was recorded on the projection crystal.”

I sighed. Had I been unjust to Rainbow? Perhaps, but that didn’t change the conclusion, did it? We were still wrong for each other, right?

Chapter 19: Winter Wrap Up

“Listen up, Elements! We have a great opportunity to bolster our reputation as problem solvers tomorrow. As you all know, tomorrow is the annual Winter Wrap Up. Ponyville has failed, year after year, to complete the season ending cleaning process on time. This year, we’re taking charge of the event. We’ll be leading six teams, with Twilight serving as overarching coordinator. If your team has a problem that needs to be addressed by another team, go to Twilight. She’ll be stationed in front of town hall. Spike will be with her to deliver any messages that need to be sent.”

Spike saluted me as I mentioned him, and Twilight started to go into a little speech about what an honor it was or something, but I cut her off. Now wasn’t the time.

“Loyalty, you’ll lead the town’s pegasi in clearing the cloud cover. Miss Sparkle has prepared a schedule for you to prioritize the areas that most impact the situation on the ground, without wasting your time flying back and forth more than necessary. Study it. Memorize it. Keep it on hand, and consult it if necessary tomorrow.”

Rainbow Dash kept a neutral expression as she saluted. “We’ll make you proud,” she assured, though there was a hint of strain in her voice. It’d been several weeks since we’d broken up, and the awkwardness was still slowly fading, but at least she had proven she could still be professional when she needed to be.

“Laughter, you’re leading the team on the ground to score the ice in the lakes, then plow the remaining snow off the roads. Miss Sparkle has prepared a set of diagrams showing an optimal pattern for breaking up the ice. If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to ask.”

“Okie dokie loki,” Pinkie Pie responded with a pronk. She checked over the drawing Twilight handed her before raising a hoof. “First question, can we make it less boring looking?” She showed the first diagram, showing a reasonably accurate outline of one of the lakes scored by what was predominantly a simple grid, aside from the paths arcing around near the edges to get from one grid line to the next.

“You may add a few flourishes of your own, during and after creating the specified overall pattern,” I compromised. Pinkie thought on it a moment before nodding and giving a cheerful “Okay!”

“Kindness, you’ll lead the team to bring back the migratory birds from the south. You’ll have a small team of pegasi with you to help keep the group together, but I’m counting on your empathy with the animals and your knowledge of their habits to find them and lead them safely back to Ponyville.”

Fluttershy said something that started out affirmative, but included something of a doubt.

“Speak up, Kindness.”
She started to speak too quietly again, but at my stern look brought the volume up high enough we could hear her with our undivided attention. “Who is going to wake the animals from hibernation?”

“I will be leading that team. I’m the most familiar with the woods around Ponyville other than yourself, and I’ll have a team with experience working with you from past years. If any of the animals wake in a bad mood, I’ll be able to keep anypony from getting hurt.

“Generosity, thank you for the team vests to help coordinate everypony. You and your team will be assembling nests for the birds. While Kindness is not the fastest flier, and it will take her some time to gather them, you need to have the nests completed and deployed by the time she gets back. Understood?”

“Thank you, Cloud. Sorry, Magic. I assure you they will be the most fabulous avian abodes in all of Equestria,” Rarity boasted. “And we won’t keep the little darlings waiting.”

“And lastly, Honesty, you and your team will be using the snow plows to clear the fields for planting.”

“You know, aside from the big fancy meetin’, this ain’t that different from how we usually do it,” Applejack stated.

“You’ve got years of experience doing this, and in general you’ve been doing it right. Hopefully, Miss Sparkle’s suggestions can help streamline the process a bit so we can hit the scheduled time this year, but we’re not going to just throw out everything that’s been mostly working without a good reason.”

We were expecting a crowd gathered in front of town hall in the morning when we arrived, adorned with the variously colored vests that Rarity had designed. What we weren’t expecting was that Trixie Lulamoon would be standing on the top of the steps, stirring up the crowd. I lead the way up to her with Twilight close behind and the other Elements arrayed behind us.

“Miss Lulamoon, what seems to be the issue?” I asked.

“Ah, Cloud Strife, by greatest rival,” Trixie greeted. “The Great And Powerful Trixie has come to defeat you once again in a contest of skill, power, and constructive activity. It has come to Trixie’s attention that your town’s oppressive traditions forbid her people’s use of magic on this most labor intensive of holidays! Trixie wishes to challenge this status quo. Will you join Trixie in this, or stand against freedom and progress?”

I took a moment to try to read the situation, though I wasn’t the best judge of these things. “What do you propose then, Miss Lulamoon?”

“The Great And Powerful Trixie will lead the unicorns to clean up half of the town using our Great And Powerful magics, while the earth ponies and anypony else who wishes to stand against us cleans the other half by hoof. The pegasi can be the judges, and tell everypony who did the best. If we win, the ban on magic during Winter Wrap Up is lifted forever.”

“And when we win?” Applejack inquired.

“Then I suppose your ban can stand until another generation realizes the injustice and rises up against you once more,” Trixie allowed.

“That isn’t much of a prize, seeing as that’s how it is already,” Applejack stated.

“Then… the Great And Powerful Trixie will acknowledge your own greatness before everypony in town?” the unicorn offered uncertainly.

The farm mare shrugged and offered a hoof. “Yer on.”

“What’s wrong Twilight?” I asked, noticing the librarian looked to be on the verge of tears.

“My plans… they're all ruined. Or at least half-ruined. It’s already time to get started and we need a whole new set of maps outlining which team is responsible for which areas, updated timetables for the weather team, and-”

“Team Trixie shall clean everything East of Town Hall!” the unicorn proclaimed, before beginning to lead the other unicorns away.

“Generosity,” I called. “Rarity! Where are you going?”

“I’m a unicorn, darling, I’m on Miss Lulamoon’s team. Using my horn will make it ever so much easier to knit all of those sticks into nests.”

I sighed, but nodded. “Alright. Keep an eye on them, though, and let us know if they do anything dangerous. What about you, Miss Sparkle?”

“Oh, I’ll stay on the earth pony’s side, if you’ll have me. I want to experience Ponyville’s traditions, not remove them,” the librarian said.

“Good to have you. So we still have team leaders for everything that needs doing on our half, except the nest building. Anypony willing to take the lead on that?”

When none of the ponies immediately volunteered, spike stepped forward. “I know just the fillies,” he said. Fillies?

Waking the animals from hibernation was a disaster. Fluttershy was the best pony for the job, but I had given her another task; retrieving the birds from the south. The mail mare with the bubble cutie mark, whose name I could never keep straight, had done it the last few years… but her sense of direction was notoriously bad, and she had ended up flying in complete wrong directions time and time again. So I had set Fluttershy on the task, trusting her to accomplish it easily and efficiently.

It wasn’t just that our best pony was missing, however. The unicorns had been over represented on the animal oriented teams, meaning a lot of our experienced animal wakers were on Trixie’s team, either doing the job on their half of the area or working on one of the teams that had been almost exclusively earth pony in years past.

A few earth ponies joined us, but they were new to the job and unfamiliar with the risks and hazards. One pony was scared off by snakes, another by bats. One managed to knock a beehive on himself, and another got herself sprayed by skunks. At least the damage was spread out; I could scarcely imagine what would happen if one pony had suffered all of those misfortunes.

I found myself wishing it was monsters we were dealing with instead of animals; monsters I could deal with easily. I had my sword if I needed it, and a good mix of materia. The 2x Cut materia alone would make short work of many monsters. And I had Diamond Dust’s summon materia as well.

“You know it’s kind of ironic. In nature, winter is the most peaceful season, with so many creatures hibernating. Among the animal kingdom, our powers tended to put a halt on strife,” she commented as I oversaw my team’s progress. “Not that it mattered much to us. We couldn’t eat the violence of animalkind. Only the hatred of ponies and other magical creatures.”

A familiar roar rang out from the distance, from Trixie’s side of the woods. I slapped my face, indulging in a moment of wishful thinking that it was their problem to deal with before I started running toward the noise.

“Think those powers of yours can get an ursa major back to sleep?”

“Cloud! You need to get to the hospital!” Twilight exclaimed as I approached. She had a point, I was bloodied in more than one place, and avoided limping only from sheer stubbornness.

“What’s the Sense materia tell you about my ‘hit points’?” I asked her.

“Well you have almost half,” she admitted after a short delay to activate the yellow bauble. “But that’s still pretty serious!”

“I’ll be fine until we get through the day. How are things with the other teams?”

“Well…” Twilight began.

A nearby mare sobbed out at me. “That unicorn’s a real slave driver.”

“Twilight?!” I asked. The mare looked up at me confused a moment then shook her head. “No. Sweetie Belle!”

“No slacking, ladies!” the filly’s voice called out as she rounded a corner and came back into view. She actually had a leather riding crop in her mouth and cracked it noisily as she went. “You’re working for the Elements here, and I won’t have you losing to a wandering showmare. We’ll show everypony the best birds nests to ever grace Equestria!”

The words and the demeanor seemed vaguely familiar, but it took a while to recognize. It was me, driving the Element Bearers through training, but distorted somehow. Sweetie never came to our sessions, so it must have been her interpretation of how Rarity described me. I wondered if the older unicorn had described me as ‘cracking the whip’ on more than one occasion, even though I didn’t actually possess such a thing.

“Sweetie Belle, don’t you think you’re being a tad over-zealous?” I asked.

“If the Elements of Greatness are going to do something, we’re going to do it… greatly,” the unicorn filly said. “Besides, we’ve managed to get over a hundred nests ready already!”

It was hard to argue with success, and a quick inspection showed the pile was full of high quality bird nests, at least as far as I could judge such things. They at least looked like bird nests, if a bit more pleasantly decorated than they typically would be on Gaia. A second pile was more haphazardly dumped, and looked far less impressive in quality, as well as quantity.

“What happened over here,” I asked.

“Those are the ones Apple Bloom rejected,” Sweetie explained. “That filly has a good eye for bad rubbish.”

I watched quietly as Spike and an orange pegasus filly I didn’t recognize brought up a couple new piles of nests collected from their workforce to add to the pile. This was all quite horribly wrong, but I struggled to think of a way to describe why without simply coming off as a hypocrite. I did push the ponies under me hard to be prepared. We had nearly died fighting the dragon, to say nothing of the incidents with the ursas, and we needed to be ready to come out of the next fight alive, preferably without spending time in the hospital.

“Good work, ponies!” I said loudly, addressing the workers directly. “These are the best bird’s nests I’ve ever seen, and you’ve managed to make so many already. You’re doing great, keep it up!”

The ponies paused from their work, looking up at me, and up at the stack of nests, and started to murmur among themselves. But it was a good murmur, and I could see them getting back to work refreshed.

Sweetie started forward, brandishing the whip but I stopped her. “Lose the whip. These aren’t Elements, they’re civilians, you need to use a lighter touch, kinder words. Let them stay soft; they’re not the ones that are going to be facing monsters. But you need to make sure you don’t become one.”

She considered my words a moment before tossing away the offending strip of leather. “Okay! It was hurting my mouth a bit anyways. Do you think I could make one of those nests myself?”

“Of course. I bet you could make one better than Rarity’s. She’s just an Element of Harmony, you’re an Element of Greatness, right?”

The filly nodded firmly, before rushing off, calling on her friends. “Hay, maybe we’ll get our cutie marks in nest making!”

I watched as the three of them seemed suddenly a bit less grown up, a bit less harsh, and started actually having fun with it as they got to work on the nests themselves. I gave a sigh of relief from tension I had barely realized I had. The other ponies seemed to get more into it as well. It did leave me wondering, however, whether I was too hard on my own Elements.

“Hi Cloud! Got anything else for us to do?” Pinkie asked me as I approached. She and the others were taking off their skates, the lakes already crisscrossed into grids and starting to melt into smaller blocks of ice under the sunlight where Rainbow Dash’s crews had already cleared skies.

“It’s almost noon. You’ve already finished all of the lakes?”

“All the lakes on our side of the line,” she said. “It was easy peasy. What now?”

I looked around at the other ponies, hearing some stray mentions of hunger and food, and got an idea. “Are you up for some baking?”

“Always!”

I arrived at Sweet Apple Acres only to find Applejack and Trixie embroiled in an argument. One half of the farm was cleared of snow, plowed, and seeded, ready for spring. The other half was a mess, with unicorns trying to apply their magic to the problem in various ways that ranged from ineffectual to disastrous, with the few that seemed to do a decent job being swamped by the efforts of others.

“What’s the problem here?” I asked as I approached.

“This yokel is trying to interfere with the Great And Powerful Trixie’s amazing success at cleaning up winter!” Trixie accused.

“Well, this entertainer is trying to use magic to clean up my farm, and she’s just making a mess of it! Just get yer friends out of our way, and we’ll have it plowed clear and ready to go in two shakes of a hoof,” Applejack demanded.

“Applejack, I need you to give whatever supplies you can to Pinkie, any apples you can spare especially, but other tasty smelling fruits would work as well. If you could lend a hoof baking pies, that would help as well,” I requested.

“What about-?”

“I’ll handle it.”

“Well… alright then,” Applejack allowed, before heading off to scrounge up what she could.

“Excellent. Then the Great and Powerf-”

“-Trixie and her accomplices are trespassing on private property,” I pointed out. “Even after being explicitly asked to leave by the owner of that property. It won’t look good for your cause if you break the law to succeed and still manage to come up short.”

The look on her face was priceless. “B-but we can’t just leave this field as it is,” she tried.

“Plenty of earth ponies here ready to take care of it, just like they managed the first half. Meanwhile, your ponies need a helping hoof with your half of the lakes. Surely a first rate performer like you can manage a bit of ice skating?” I challenged.
“We will put on the greatest ice skating spectacular anypony has ever seen! Just watch that your own ponies don’t get so caught up in the spectacle they forget to do their own work!” she said.

I stopped by where Rarity was working feverishly, assembling a birds nest before passing it off to a unicorn, who trotted off with it in her power, only to be replaced by the next in line, waiting patiently for the seamstress to assemble the next.

“Generosity,” I greeted.

“Oh, Cloud! Can’t talk! Need to make nests,” she said, sounding stressed.

“Shouldn’t these other unicorns be helping you?” I asked.

“Oh, they are darling. They’re taking them out and distributing them in the trees as quickly as I can make them,” Rarity said. “These ponies just don’t have the knack for braiding twigs, but they’re good enough nestling them in trees with their magic.”

Distribution, right. We had a big pile of the things just sitting around near town hall. “Can I borrow a few of your unicorns in exchange for, say, fifty completed nests for the others to start distributing for you? Just don’t tell Trixie. And don’t forget to eat lunch.”

One thing about fresh apple pies that’s usually a bit of a nuisance; they can attract critters from all around.

One thing about animals that have just been hibernating all winter to conserve their energy. They’re even more easily attracted to fresh apple pies than usual. As quickly as we could bake them, we brought pies out to the surrounding wilderness. It did a much better job waking the animals than the little bells had, and woke them in a much better mood. Of course, the pies didn’t last long amidst the ravenous beasts, but they weren’t really meant to.

Pinkie, Applejack and I were just heading back from a rousing success at rousing the animals when we run into Trixie.

“You’re on my side,” she pointed out accusingly.

“We are,” I stated. “Your little contest is dividing the tribes, pitting unicorn against earth pony and pushing the pegasi off to the side. Don’t you know what happens when you divide the tribes? Especially in winter?”

Pinkie Pie gasped as she caught my meaning, and fled to hide behind a tree. Trixie barely paid her any attention, quickly returning her focus to me. “Is this supposed to be some Hearths Warming tail? Everypony knows windigos are an old mare’s tale.”

“What does that make you?” Diamond Dust asked from beside Trixie’s ear, blowing a little frost into her face. As the showmare jumped, then froze up in fear, the windigo continued. “I want… to…” she began, extra ominously, playing up her part.

Fluttershy glided to a halt in front of town hall, followed by the other members of her team. “Where is everypony?” she asked Twilight as she approached, the lone unicorn the only pony waiting for them in town. “We brought the birds back, and they were all so happy with their new nests, but there was nopony to be found.”

“Come on, we’re almost late for the show,” Twilight said, excitedly.

“Show? What show? What about Winter Wrap Up? Oh, I’m so confused…” Fluttershy complained even as she and the others followed Twilight in a tired trot out of town.

“There’s just one thing left to do, melting the ice on the largest lake, which we’ll be doing just after sundown… you’ll see!” Twilight said, as she lead the way.

“After sundown? How are you supposed to melt the ice after the sun goes down?”

As they came into view, they saw a massive wall of blankets held aloft by magic, separating a massive crowd of ponies from the large body of frozen water. The newcomers found a place to sit on the freshly cleared grass, just as the sun dropped below the horizon, replaced by an unscheduled full moon.

Trixie Lulamoon slipped through the curtain and loudly addressed the crowd. “Ladies and gentlecolts, to thank you all for all of your hard work wrapping up winter, the Great and Powerful Trixie would like to present to you, on behalf of the generous Elements of Harmony, the Ponyville Winter Wrap Up Grand Finale, Ice Skating Spectacular!” On cue, the curtain fell to the ground, revealing dozens of ponies with ice skates, who quickly began a choreographed dance number on the ice.

Chill winds speckled with massive snowflakes augmented the show at parts, while pyrotechnics and other light shows highlighted it in other ways. The singing kept everypony in sync while the dancing scored the ice deeply. Finally, with the ponies cleared out of the way, an almost blindingly brilliant fireworks display at ground level melted the ice to hoof sized chunks, and a massive swarm of parasprites appeared, devouring the cubes before vanishing themselves.

The audience erupted into applause, as the performers took their bows. Finally, the mayor came forward to give her little speech, thanking everypony for all their hard work, and congratulating the town for actually finishing on time for the first time in several years.

“Congratulations,” I offered Trixie when I found her after the show.

“I guess a little magic here and there during Winter Wrap Up isn’t so bad,” Applejack allowed. “Just not on my farm.”

“The Great and Powerful Trixie… accepts your compromise,” she said, meeting Applejack in a hoof clop. “And she thanks you and your friends for their help in the show, and their suggestion of using the other lakes for much needed rehearsals. The other unicorns did very well today, but they are not showpony material.”

“I’m afraid we’ve only got the one of you,” I agreed. “At least as long as you’re in town.”

“Sadly, Trixie must move on, as her livelihood depends on going to where there is a fresh audience, eager to see her. And Trixie will not quickly be able to compete against her own recent success here. Fortunately, Trixie’s generous patron has made up for her lost opportunity in not being allowed to sell tickets for her own greatest show of the season.”

“Generous patron, huh?” Applejack said, eying me suspiciously. “Somehow I don’t think it was Rarity she was talking about.”

“I do try to learn from each of your virtues,” I answered smoothly.

“Is that going to include Honesty someday?” she teased. “You still haven’t told the other townsfolk about Zecora.”

“No promises.”

Chapter 20: Suited for Success

“Hi, Rarity,” I greeted as I entered the boutique. I was a bit surprised to see Twilight waiting within, patiently.

“Shh... Can't you see Rarity is trying to concentrate?” the librarian shushed.

“Seems a bit smaller than her usual work,” I noted. The dress she was working on seemed about right for her little sister or one of her filly friends in size, but far fancier than anything you would typically catch them in.

“Is there something I can help you with?” Rarity cut in.

“Oh, so very sorry to trouble you, Rarity, but I need a quick favor,” Twilight began. “Could you please fix the button for me? It's my dress for the Grand Galloping Gala.”

“Oh, no, no, no! You can't wear this…” Rarity said, pausing to think of a tactful way to describe the garment Twilight had brought in. “...old thing. You need a glamorous new outfit for the Gala and I'll make it for you. No problem at all. It will be my pleasure!”

“Oh, that's really sweet of you to offer, Rarity, but I can't let you do that. It would be so much work. This dress is fine.”

“Twilight Sparkle. I insist on making you a new dress.”

“But…”

“Not another word! I won't take no for an answer.”

“Well, in that case... Thank you for your generosity, Rarity,” Twilight graciously accepted at last. “Knowing your handiwork, I'm sure it will be absolutely beautiful.”

That settled, the seamstress turned to me. “And what can I do for you, Cloud? I imagine you need a whole new wardrobe for the spring.”

I waved dismissively. “The winter clothes are too warm, true, but the clothes you made for me for fall are just right. What I nee-”

Rarity cut me off, aghast at the very idea. “You simply can’t wear autumn clothing in spring! The colors are all wrong, darling! You need something brighter, more festive. Springy!”

“Actually, Rarity, what I need from you is a combat uniform. Not just for me, but the rest of the Elements as well. Obviously, mine will be shaped quite differently, as well as the variations for our pegasi and yourself. But I trust you can handle those details easily. But they should look similar enough to highlight that we’re a team. Twilight?”

“Huh? Oh!” Twilight said before pulling a pile of notes out from her saddlebags. “Right! Cloud has had me working on doing some research on defensive enchantments as well as integrating materia slots. I believe I can do the work to empower the suits, as long as you stay within these parameters. We’ll also need some high quality gemstones embedded in the clothing, as described on page 21 through 24. I’ve learned of an enchantment developed for the royal guard that can redirect the impact of blows to an embedded gemstone, taking advantage of the hardness of the stone regardless of where the impact lands, but the difficulty of making the enchantment made it impractical for their numbers”

Rarity had long since tuned her out, I noticed, as she skimmed through the pile of notes. “Oh, well, you’ve certainly given me a lot to think about…” I caught her looking at the small dress she had been working on.

“I know you have other work to do, I don’t want to leave your other clients high and dry,” I pointed out.

“Nonsense, darling, this is an important job for the team, and I’m eager to do my part. Though, some of these materials will be quite expensive…” she countered.

“We have an equipment budget for a reason,” I reminded. “Give Twilight an accounting of your costs, and don’t forget to include the time you spend working on it. This is seamstress work, not Element work, and you should be paid for it.”

“Thank you, darling, I do appreciate it… although…” she began, looking at me thoughtfully. “Bits are nice, but what would really compensate me for the time is a little favor in return. Do you think you and the girls could put on a little show for me?”

I blushed a bit, my mind thinking back to the fateful game of truth or dare and the little show she had gotten Rainbow Dash and I to put on. “What kind of show?”

“Why a fashion show, of course, darling,” she said. “Why, what kind of show did you think I meant?”

I didn’t answer, but judging by their faces I would say Rarity knew exactly where my mind had gone, while Twilight was simply confused despite having been present during the incident. “A fashion show?”

“I’ll be honest, here, my boutique needs the advertisement,” she said. “If you all could show off the uniforms I design for you, maybe I’ll be able to get some contracts with other organizations, or at least some good exposure in fashion magazines. I’ll still be charging for the materials, of course, but if you’d do that we’ll call it even for the time.”

“Agreed.”

A few weeks later, Rarity and Twilight gathered us all to head back to her boutique and see her handiwork. It wasn’t quite what I expected. For one thing, the others had their cutie marks depicted over their flanks, with the Element itself giving a third copy of the image over the chest; in my case she had gone with the Buster Sword image from the tiara, and depicted it on each butt cheek and again over my breasts. The bands of metal that held both the materia slots and the enchanted crystals that would absorb the impact of both blows and magic against us were set to be affixed to the rear legs of the ponies, and thus equivalently on my own legs rather than the arms where I would expect them. There was also a lot more lace involved than I was honestly comfortable with.

Rarity’s eager smile faltered a moment, then fell apart entirely before our unenthusiastic looks.

“That’s umm…” I began.

“They sure are… something,” Applejack concurred.

“Something?” Twilight questioned.

“I like something! Something is my favorite!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed.

“It’s… nice,” Fluttershy said quietly.

“What’s wrong? You don’t like them? You don’t like them,” Rarity concluded.

“They look like they should work…” I hedged.

“We’re all quite grateful for all the hard work you two put in,” Applejack thanked.

“Mine's just not as cool as I was imagining,” Rainbow said. ”She asked,” she defended when we glanced her way.

“I guess we just have a few details we’d like changed,” I admitted, the other Elements agreeing with me.

I turned in front of the mirrors as I looked over the second take on my uniform. The sword icons had moved to the sides of my hips, making me much less self conscious about them, the one on my chest entirely gone. The spiked pauldron on my left shoulder was perhaps unnecessary, but it just felt right to me. Having the crystals held on armlets rather than on my legs felt a lot more comfortable too. Maybe it was a bit too much like my old SOLDIER uniform. But even just wearing it made me feel more confident, more ready to take on any danger or challenge. “This is great, Rarity. How are the others coming along?”

“You really think so? No more revisions to request?”

“No, it’s great. Why? Is there something you don’t like about it? I could maybe allow-”

“No! No. It looks good on you. It’s just the others... “

“I trust your expertise, Rarity. Work with Twilight and the others, and I look forward to seeing the results,” I said. “We’ll give them a test run this weekend as we meet for our next training session. Do you think they’ll be ready by then?”

She hesitated a moment before snapping me a salute. “I’ll have them ready!”

I was doing some stretches at the practice field when I heard metal clanking approaching me from behind. I turned, a quick jolt of adrenaline preparing me to fight some Shinra attack bot or whatever the local equivalent would prove to be. It proved to be Applejack, covered in full plate metal barding from snout to tail, clanking loudly with every step.

Most of the other Elements were nearby. Rainbow Dash zipped around above in a uniform covered in lightning bolt motifs, Haste materia in hoof. Twilight walked to one side of AJ with a note scroll already opened and ready, while Rarity walked on her other hoof in a uniform actually resembling mine, aside from being pony shaped and lacking a pauldron. Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie were nowhere to be seen, but a six foot tall stuffed moogle followed after the other ponies, with a black stuffed cat riding atop it, holding a megaphone.

I had no words for them. I realized after a few seconds that my jaw had dropped and was hanging open. Rarity looked embarrassed. Twilight looked like she hadn’t noticed the problem yet.

“You told me to work with them,” Rarity quietly excused.

“Alright… let’s give these… ‘uniforms’ a quick test run. Rarity, you’re with me. Twilight, take notes. The rest of you will be our opposition for a sparring match. Let’s see what works and what… doesn’t,” I said. Equestria could be a strange place, and I had a slight concern that somehow all of this would prove actually effective.

“Well alright then,” Applejack said before her armor clanked together as she tried to bend to reach her lasso with her mouth. The metal didn’t allow enough give and she was stuck straining to reach for it. While she was tied down I ignored her and rushed for the pair of stuffed animals. Was one of them Pinkie and the other Fluttershy? The top one seemed too small to be either. It was all so strange and random.

“Hey now! Whoops! Watch where you’re going!” the cat said through the megaphone in Pinkie’s voice as the pair managed to hop and dance out of reach of my kicks and punches. For such a massive ungainly thing it was freakishly spry.

“Whoops!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed from above. I glanced up just long enough to see a blue blur dropping toward me, as Dash dodged a pair of massive needles that drove her away from the stormcloud she was working on. Thinking quickly, I snatched the blue orb out of the sky and slapped it into place in one of my empty materia slots.

My first attempt to cast the spell was met with a punch to the face from the stuffed moogle. Rolling with the punch, I got some distance and tried again. Before Pinkie could close with me I was moving much faster and went on the offensive again. A punch sent the stuffed cat flying, as it proved far too light to contain a pony, while a mediocre trip attempt was enough to unbalance the larger stuffed animal and drop it onto its back, leaving it flailing uselessly to get up.

“Hold still, darn you!” Applejack demanded, noisily lining up for another double-legged buck, only to find Rarity had wisely moved out of the way once again. Without her lasso, the farmmare had to deal with moving targets, and her own maneuvers were both slower and more blatantly telegraphed. Freed up from my own fight, I rushed her quickly, diving into a shoulder check that knocked her off her hooves and left my own armored shoulder aching from the contact.

She did better at getting back to her hooves than Pinkie, but it still left Rarity unchecked and able to harass Rainbow Dash. The speedy pegasus was able to evade everything the unicorn threw at her, from her needles to raw magic blasts, but it prevented her from launching a counter attack.

Then, with a surge of my own magic, Rarity picked up the pace. Dash couldn’t dodge everything, and soon she was struck in the wings hard enough to lose flight and crash nearby.

There was a pause, quiet as Applejack had just gotten to her hooves and was watching us for an opening, Rainbow was groaning quietly where she had crashed, and Pinkie had settled into a rhythmic rocking, slowly approaching the point where she would get back on her feet, when we finally heard it.

“Help.” It was Fluttershy. A bit distant. Quiet, but a bit on the loud side for her. We nodded to each other and set our sparring match aside, converging to rescue the pegasus from whatever fate had befallen her.

It took us a while to find her. She had gotten quieter when we got close, figuring we had come to her rescue, and it took her a moment to realize we were still unaware of her location. But eventually we made her out. She was stuck in a bush. Her ‘uniform’ looked an awful lot like part of the bush: mottled browns and greens, and covered with a mesh that held sticks and leaves in random angles. A pair of brown goggles kept her eyes from being too obvious, and the suit covered everything else but her wings. They had apparently been dyed to match. The mesh had caught on the bush in a few dozen places, and the material, backed by the enchantment that redirected any harm to a diamond on her legband, was effectively too tough to tear her free.

We tried for a while to extract her a few different ways, but she got stuck in new spots as quickly as we could unstuck her, and finally we managed to hit on the idea of giving her Diamond Dust’s summon materia. The pegasus vanished into the ether as the Windigo appeared, and managed to extract herself more easily in the less strictly defined non-space before returning to the real world unstuck.
“Alright, so… anypony want to tell me what’s wrong with your uniforms?” I prompted.

“There might be just a smidge too much metal in this here armor.”

“I maybe could use one of those materia slots…”

“Nopony got the references.”

“It’s a little too easy to get stuck?”

“All good points,” I confirmed. “There’s also the fact that ‘uniforms’ are supposed to look like they go together. Make it obvious you’re on the same team.”

“Like the wonderbolts!”

“Yes, Loyalty, like the wonderbolts.” I hadn’t actually seen these ‘Wonderbolts’ myself, but dating Rainbow Dash, or even just being in her vicinity for any length of time, it was hard not to at least get an idea who they were. “I note your own uniform looks a bit more like you’re a member of their team than ours.”

Rainbow Dash flinched but nodded. “I guess it would be okay if it looked more like Rarity’s.”

“Honesty, the whole point of the defensive enchantment we have on these uniforms is to avoid the need for heavy metal plating. You need the freedom of movement to use that lasso of yours, as well as avoiding hits. Your armor should absorb the blows you can’t avoid, not the ones you should have. And Laughter… while you did well to avoid many of my attacks, your outfit makes it hard for you to get back up. But more importantly… we’re work for the Princesses of Equestria; we need to represent them, especially when we’re on an official assignment or dealing with a crisis. Hiding the fact that you’re a pony and making yourself just look bizarre doesn’t look good for us or for them.”

“Okay, but can I keep the kitty?”

I rolled my eyes, but decided not to answer, letting her use her own judgement on that one. I doubted it would prove a huge problem.

Fluttershy cringed in advance when she realized by process of elimination it was her turn to be addressed. “Kindness… I can see you were going for stealth, and you accomplished that fairly well. But that won’t work in an urban environment, or a variety of places other than the woods. There you’ll just look out of place and silly. Maybe Twilight can research a stealth enchantment later to help you go unnoticed, but for now it’s better that you just stick with the group. I am wondering, though, if we could get you a suitable weapon for a sniper role.”

“Sniper? That doesn’t sound very nice at all. On the other hoof, it would keep me out of the front lines…”

“Maybe something with tranquilizers or the like?” I offered. “You got that in your notes, Twilight?”

“Stealth enchantment, and long range tranquilizers, check.”

“In the meantime, it looks like Rarity has four uniforms to redo before we put on that fashion show.”

I glanced out between the curtains, getting a bit nervous. It was funny that I would get stage fright when I didn’t mind going up against a dragon or negotiating with royalty. But going out and showing off my uniformed body before said royalty along with curious townsfolk, fashion aficionados down from Canterlot, and others was a bit daunting. Still, it wasn’t the first time I had swallowed my fear and pushed on, and it would probably not be the last. I slipped away from the curtain, took my place behind my little ponies, and nodded to Spike, who in turn signalled his fellow Elements of Greatness.

Applebloom began pulling the curtains open, as Sweetie Belle began playing lightly on piano. Rarity stepped out on the stage and began introducing us. Far from sharing my stage fright, she looked like she was meant to do this.

“Introducing, your new and improved Elements of Harmony! I’m Rarity, the Element of Generosity, and I welcome you all to our show. I’m the proprietor of the Carousel Boutique, and while I usually work in high fashion, today’s show is a little something different. Myself and the other Elements have been training hard to protect Equestria and her ponies from any danger, but now we can do so in style! You can see here the basic model; sleek and stylish, Cutie Marked for the personal touch. These uniforms sport both form and function.”

Rarity paused to brace herself, as Scootiloo let loose a rock on the end of a rope which swung down to strike her on the side, shattering and leaving her a bit dirty but otherwise unharmed… or close enough she could fake it.

“Powerful enchantments make these suits as protective as a suit of armor, yet nearly as light as flexible as bare fur. While materia slots allow us to plug in our signature crystals to grant versatile magical abilities.” She highlighted that one with a simple fire spell cast in open air.

“Next, we have Fluttershy, Element of Kindness. Show yourself, darling, don’t be shy now.” A blur of vague motion resolved itself into the timid pegasus pulling her new cloak off of herself, and waving nervously at the crowd from the end of the stage where she had been hiding in plain sight, before darting back toward where the rest of us waited. “When activated, Fluttershy’s enchanted cloak takes on the coloration of the surroundings, rendering her invisible as long as she stays still.”

“For the more straightforward approach, we have Applejack, Element of Honesty. Applejack’s new uniform sports fortified hard points on the hoofs and shoulders for delivering solid strikes, while maintaining the freedom of motions and solid defenses the uniforms are known for.” The farm mare waved to the audience before pulling out her lasso, getting a good spin on it, hopping through her own loop, and then finally flinging the loop up into the air. As it paused at the height of the throw, Rainbow Dash zoomed through it, arcing over the audience with a rainbow contrail before settling to hover next to Rarity while Applejack headed back toward Fluttershy.

“Rainbow Dash, everypony, the Element of Loyalty. Her flight suit version is sleeker and more aerodynamic, borrowing lessons from our illustrious Wonderbolts, while maintaining the other benefits, such as materia slots.” Rainbow cast Haste on herself and quickly drew out her cutie mark in the air with her rainbow contrail before darting back to join the others.

As the rainbows faded, a burst of smoke appeared on the stage, clearing away to reveal Pinkie reared up. She made some fake martial arts gestures for a bit before tossing a few small capsules into the air that exploded into confetti and rained down on the audience.

“Pinkie Pie, Element of Laughter, has an assortment of extra pockets on her suit, the better to bring props and gags for any occasion, as well as a few more… serious surprises. And finally… Cloud Strife, Element of Magic.”

On my cue I came forward, looking out at the audience. “Thank you, Rarity. It’s a pleasure to be here, a pleasure to serve Equestria, and a pleasure to see the great turnout here tonight. You’ve really outdone yourself, and I think this will make a big difference whenever danger comes to Ponyville. And thank you all for coming tonight.”

The other five all gathered behind me in a semicircle while the music crescendoed and confetti rained freely over the audience. “Ladies and gentlecolts, your Elements of Harmony!” Rarity announced finally, inviting applause.

After the show, there was a reception with a buffet and opportunities for the ponies to meet with us in person. We spread around the room to distribute the crowds. Being so much taller than the ponies, I could easily see over anyone but the Princesses, and noticed easily that Fluttershy had disappeared, either literally or figuratively, unwilling to face the crowds. Rarity and Rainbow Dash, by contrast, were obviously having the time of their lives, while Twilight Sparkle had a few fans of her own willing to hear out her detailed explanations of what she had done.

For my own part, aside from a few autographs and photo ops, things were pretty quiet in my corner, until Princess Celestia approached with a unicorn I didn’t recognize. He was pure white of coat and horn, with a dirty blonde mane a few shades darker than my own hair, and eyes a lighter shade of blue. His cutie mark looked to be some kind of compass rose, making me wonder if his talent was something to do with navigation. He kept his chin decidedly elevated as he walked, as if trying to keep it up above the common riffraff.

“Princess,” I greeted calmly.

“Cloud,” she returned levelly. “I’m rather impressed with what your group has managed to come up with, here. In fact the Captain of my royal guard is interesting in commissioning some similar uniforms for some of our best.”

“Is this him?” I inquired, turning to the unicorn who was sizing me up. He didn’t feel military to me, though he was serious enough in his demeanor. “We haven’t been introduced.”

“Oh no, but where are my manners? This is actually my nephew, Prince Blueblood. Blueblood, I would like you to meet Cloud Strife, leader of the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony,” the Princess introduced.

“You hadn’t mentioned that she wasn’t a pony,” Blueblood whispered, apparently expecting me not to notice. I pretended not to, curious what they would try to slip past me.

“Is that going to be a problem?” she whispered back, though her eyes told me she was at least aware I was listening.

“No, not at all Auntie,” he assured before closing toward me a bit. He offered me a hoof, which I met with a fist bump. But before I could pull back my arm, he had me in a firm grip and leaned in to kiss my hand. I couldn’t help but blush, wondering whether this was just some regal gesture or meant as a prelude to something more. “It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Lady Strife. I will be residing here in Ponyville for some time, I do hope you can find some time to spend with me away from these crowds.”

A sudden chill ran up my spine. Diamond Dust noticed the shiver and assured me it wasn’t her before pointing a hoof across the room. I ventured a quick glance to see Rarity glaring at me with a jealousy I thought only Rainbow Dash could manage before a new thought apparently entered her mind and a grin slowly began to spread across her muzzle.

“We’ll see, Prince Blueblood,” I said with a forced smile. The smile he returned felt forced as well, before he turned to trot away. We’ll see.

Chapter 21: Feeling Pinkie Keen

“It makes no sense!” Twilight declared, sounding exasperated.

“Uh huh. Pinkie Pie not making sense,” I stated flatly.

“Look, I know she does silly things, but these are impossible things. She’s telling the future by random body twitches. That makes no sense!” the librarian insisted.

“Pinkie once hosted a birthday party for Princess Luna in my dreams. Ordinarily, I would think I just dreamed it, but Diamond Dust and the Princess have both confirmed while I was awake that it actually happened. DD basically lives in my dreams now, and Luna’s power is to dream walk, but as far as I know Pinkie hasn’t been able to do anything like that before or since.”

Twilight took a very long swig from her coffee. “So you’re saying…”

“You can spend your free time trying to make scientific sense of Pinkie Pie if you want to, but I-”

“Not that I need your permission for how to spend my free time, by definition, but I think I will do just that,” Twilight said.

I sighed and shook my head, finishing off my own tea before standing up. “Alright. Just as long as it doesn’t get in the way of your duties. Have fun with that.”

“I think I will,” she answered, sounding defiant for some reason.

We both headed for the door shortly thereafter, for different destinations. Let her deal with Pinkie Pie’s nonsense. I had my own issues to deal with.

“Thank you for making time for me so soon,” the Prince said as he telekinetically pulled out a chair for me.

I took a seat across from him at a table at the fanciest restaurant in Ponyville. As well funded as we were now, I could afford to eat every meal here if I really wanted to, but it felt like a waste of money to me. But for a first date? It was quite fitting, and I could see why he had selected it. Was it a date, though? I could actually see him eating in a place like this just as an average meal.

“I wouldn’t want to keep a Prince waiting without a good cause. Speaking of causes, what brings you to Ponyville?” I split my attention for a moment, as I let my waiter know what I would be having, while Blueblood wordlessly did the same with his own waiter. As fancy as this place was, I was pretty sure they were going to extra lengths to impress the pair of us, or probably just my royal companion.

“Why you do, my dear. Was I not obvious enough about it?”

“A girl likes to hear it said outright,” I said with a blush and a smile.

“Then I’ll say it again. I’ve come to court you,” he said plainly.

As obvious as it had been, it still gave me pause to hear it said so clearly and plainly. It was one thing for Rainbow Dash to blurt things out, but this was a stallion who clearly knew exactly what he wanted and what it would entail. He had a confidence about him that felt much more genuine than Dash’s bravado. He was the hunter and I was the prey and it made me tingle inside with excitement to realize it. It felt backwards and perfectly right all at once, and I mentally cursed this cursed body for how it messed with everything.

“If that’s alright, of course?” he added, breaking me from my runaway thought train.

“Yes. We’ve only just met, so it’s too soon for me to commit to anything much, but you’re welcome to court me until I say otherwise. I’m a bit surprised to learn I’m your type, however.”

That put him on the spot, and he took a second to formulate an answer, but delivered it smoothly. “Is it that strange that a Prince would court a powerful and exotic mare, sorry, woman who is clearly on the rise? For that matter, royalty marrying high ranking soldiers is a long standing trend, arguably rising to the point of tradition. Why, my cousin, the Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, is herself courting the Captain of the Guard.”

A princess dating a guard felt more natural to me than a prince doing so, perhaps as a matter of the stories I heard growing up. But I really didn’t need to poke at the premise too hard. It had been some time since I had been dating Rainbow, and I had been alone and without prospects aside from Diamond’s offers of ‘wet dreams’. At the least I could give the Prince a few dates and see if things came together better with the stallion than it had with the mare.

“So you thought to court an exotic military woman? I am impressed that you would devote yourself to the cause enough to move out to such a remote location. Though I suppose it can’t be too remote, given how often the Princesses visit. Still, I haven’t managed to make it up to Canterlot myself yet.”

“Oh, you simply must let me give you the royal tour then, when time allows. I believe you will find everything quite a bit better there. The palace, the food, the theatre. So much to show you.”

I nodded quietly. “I look forward to it. I’m originally from a town a bit smaller than Ponyville, and I haven’t had the best experiences in large cities. But from everything Rarity has said about it, I imagine it will prove much nicer than Midgar.”

“Smaller than Ponyville? It’s difficult to imagine such a thing,” he said with a chuckle.

“We had a Mako power plant there that supplied energy to the surrounding area, and produced materia for export. The town basically existed just to provide for the workers at the plant,” I told him. Glancing around I chuckled. “We didn’t even have a single restaurant. The inn where travellers would stay was the closest we had, but pretty much everyone had better home cooking.”

“Truly the frontier then,” he said with a chuckle that made me wonder whether he was joking or laughing at my hometown. All that went out the window though as he set his hoof gently on my hand and hit me with a charming smile that sent my emotions spiralling out of control. “Where are my manners though? This is your hometown, you’re talking about. It must be full of such fascinating memories.”

With that he got me talking, and I quickly lost track of time. He was a skilled conversationalist, and managed to let me learn a fair bit about him, as well as Canterlot, the nobility, and the royal court, without leaving me out of the discussion or jumping around strangely. He was smooth in exactly the ways that Rainbow Dash wasn’t, and by the time we left the restaurant, I was grinning uncontrollably and looking forward to another chance to just talk with him.

“May I escort you home?” he asked chivalrously as we got outside.

“You may, if you’re up for it. I live a short way into the Everfree forest. Will you be ready for a fight if monsters decide to make trouble?”

“Nothing we can’t handle together, I’m sure,” he said with confidence that wasn’t reflected in his eyes. Still, if he couldn’t handle the pathway to my front door, our relationship was going nowhere.

Our journey was derailed, however, by the sound of an alarmed eek from above as a half dozen frogs fell toward our heads. Blueblood deftly snatched them in his magic before any of them could hit us or the ground.

“Thank you for catching them. Would you mind carrying them along with us? This is the last load,” Fluttershy asked as she hovered a little lower. Her hooves were full of additional frogs, and more were lined up and down her back, a pair sitting between her ears.

“Kindness, report. What’s the situation?” I asked firmly.

Thankfully, she’d gotten used to it enough that she now answered promptly instead of trying to disappear. “The pond was overrun with frogs, sir. I’m relocating many of them to Froggy Bottom Bogg, where there’s more room and suitable food for them, sir!” She snapped a salute before realizing the mistake, and I deftly caught the frogs that fell as a result.

“I’ll accompany you,” I said. “Sorry for the detour… You’re welcome to come with us if you don’t mind a bit of mud.”

His eyes showed more fear of the prospect than they had of talk of monsters, but to his credit he once again steeled himself for the challenge and nodded. “I would be happy to accompany you ladies on this urgent errand. Here, allow me.” A bit of his magic wrapped the three of us for a moment, and the feeling of slick sliminess disappeared. As we started to make our way out into the wilderness, I realized he had cast some kind of cleanliness spell on us that kept the dirt, mud and slime from sticking to us.

We got to the bog and began releasing the frogs, distributing them as Fluttershy directed, when a few of our other friends arrived.

“Fluttershy?” Applejack asked as she approached.

“Fluttershy? Oh! And hi Cloud! Hi DD! And who’s your shiny new friend?” Pinkie inquired. Diamond Dust waved back even though we both knew Pinkie couldn’t see her. Somehow she knew.

“Fluttershy! You’re okay!” Spike said, sounding both relieved and, for some reason, surprised.

“Of course. Cloud and Prince Blueblood helped me carry the last load out here,” the pegasus confirmed.

“I’m so glad everything’s all right,” Pinkie said. She looked like she wanted to say more but Twilight cut her off.

“Sorry, I know it's not nice to gloat but... Aha! I told you there was nothing to worry about, and I was right. Pinkie Pie said whatever she was shuddering about was a doozy, and,” a cough interrupted her a moment, as gasses roiled off the bog behind her in response to motion from within, “and the only doozy here is how right I am.”

While Twilight was talking, though, a massive reptilian neck topped with an angry looking head rose from the swamp behind her. Then another, and a third, and a fourth. “Elements, attack plan gamma-6!” I ordered. I felt stupid for leaving my sword behind during the date, but at least my uniform was on under the dress, giving me access to its protection and a few pieces of materia.

“Allri-yi-yi-yight!” Pinkie replied as a massive shudder vibrated her entire body. Pulling a red piece of materia from her mane, she faded into the ether just as one of the heads swooped in to try to snap her up.

“Y’all’d best skedaddle,” Applejack advised Blueblood as she ran back fifty paces and stopped. I stopped by her side as Twilight, Fluttershy and Blueblood continued past. Riding Twilight’s back, Spike began drafting a quick scroll before sending it off with his green flames.

The body of the massive creature arose from the swamp on two powerful legs, revealing the form of the hydra as a single monster, shared between the four heads. It roared in anger as countless parasprites attempted to devour the predator, but had no real success in the matter. It proved distracting, however, and bought time as the hydra was momentarily confused, even after the tiny creatures faded back into the ether, and Pinkie reappeared mid-run.

The hydra began running toward us again, and Applejack made her move, lassoing one of its massive legs and giving a sharp tug that tripped the beast, at least for the moment. However, she wisely let the lasso go rather than pit her teeth in a direct contest of strength with the powerful creature, and began running toward the others.

That made it my turn to buy some time, or more precisely Diamond Dust’s. I faded into the ether as the windigo emerged, pushing all of the energy I had provided her into a powerful wave of cold, freezing the bog water and pinning the hydra in place. I turned and ran as well when I swiftly returned to the material world, already hearing the ice crack, though the hydra seemed a bit sluggish in its movements.

As I ran, I could see up ahead the others had gotten themselves cornered on a cliff edge, with only a few tiny pillars bridging the gap to the far cliff. The hydra would be unable to follow us there, if we made it across, but it was a treacherous crossing. Blueblood had managed it already, and Fluttershy’s wings made it much safer for her. Spike was going next.

As I approached, though, a rainbow colored streak shot by, leaving my sword embedded in the ground ahead of me. A loud crack signalled Dash’s uppercut striking the hydra in one of its jaws, while a very different kind of crack signalled the first round from Fluttershy’s rifle firing a tranquilizer dart at another. While she was reloading and Dash’s movement had brought her clear, I called on one of the materia in my sword to ignite the noxious gas around the hydra’s body, setting off a fiery explosion.

Being scattered as much as we were made things troublesome for the hydra. The heads were apparently in disagreement about which foe to engage, and they began trying to pull the body in different directions, making it vulnerable to our sustained ranged onslaught. Rainbow Dash rained lightning on it, Pinkie assaulted it with colorfully exploding fireworks, while I lashed out at it with magic. Whenever it got too close to Pinkie or I, we disappeared into the ether, leaving a summon in our wake to assault the creature and distract it.

The monster was tough, and we were running low on magic and ammunition when it finally succumbed to its injuries, collapsing when Pinkie hit it with the dazzling barrage of colorful explosives she referred to as the ‘Grand Finale’. A strange wooshing sound came from her then, and she shouted “ding!”

“So… that was the doozy, then?” Twilight asked as we began to regroup. “That was quite a doozy.”

Pinkie’s whole body vibrated again and she shook her head. “Nope! That was just a boss fight, though I did level, so that was great! The doozy is still to come.”

“I think we had best all leave promptly before this ‘doozy’ arrives then,” Blueblood suggested.

“Good idea,” I said, and Blueblood, Rainbow Dash, Spike and Fluttershy joined me in heading back to Ponyville. Twilight and Pinkie caught up to us a little later, with Twilight looking defeated and Pinkie pronking along happily. “I hope you won’t find this rude, prince, but from now on I’ll bring my sword along on our dates. Just in case.”

“I must say, that was a jolly good sho-” Blueblood began before a rainbow blur cut him off.

“You! Were! Awesome! And how awesome was I? I was all wooosh! And then Fluttershy- Fluttershy!”

“We all did well out there, today,” I confirmed. “You and Spike, especially, were awesome, and really made our victory possible with your timely reinforcements.”

“Oh yeah!” Rainbow said, holding out her hoof for me to meet it with a fist.

“Perhaps when we get back to-” the Prince began before sputtering as he got a faceful of rainbow tail from Dash shifting positions to keep centered in my field of view.

“Now see here!” he objected, lifting her out of the way with his magic, and leaving her levitating awkwardly off balance for the moment.

“Blueblood: unhand my subordinate. Loyalty: apologize to the prince.” The same commanding voice earned reluctant obedience from both of them, each looking me in the eye as if to ask if I was serious before my look convinced them I was. Deep down I was a bit nervous ordering a prince I had only just met around, but it was worth it. Especially seeing the look of respect in his eyes when the matter was settled and we were on our way once again.

We came to the road leading from town to Fluttershy’s cottage and my own home in the Everfree. “Well, I suppose this is where we part ways, for now,” he said, dropping the pretence of being brave enough to face the forest, at least for now. I couldn’t think too ill of him, he obviously wasn’t a combatant and he had just gotten through a dangerous situation with a hydra.

“Right. I’ll see you again soon.”

“Tomorrow? Lunch? Same place?” his look of optimism was too adorable for me to turn away.
“Sure.”

The two pegasi waved goodbye to him, as Spike accompanied him the rest of the way to town, soon joined by Twilight and Pinkie as they caught up with us, deep in their own excited conversation.

The three of us walked to Fluttershy’s cottage, the element of Kindness breaking off to attend her animals with a gentle smile and a wave. That left Dash and I alone the rest of the way, deep in conversation about the fight, everything that had gone well, what we could do to be ‘even more awesome’.

It felt great, like a kind of ‘high’ was running through us after our victory, and we were feeding back into each other by revelling in it together. It distracted me, and kept me from thinking clearly. So when she took the chance to dart in and kiss me, the only thing I could think to do was open the door and invite her inside.

“So… does this mean we’re dating again?”

“No. It means I succumbed to temptation. A temptation you shouldn’t have offered if you respected me.”

“Ouch!” she replied, recoiling as if struck. “You know I have more respect for you than anypony! Besides, what do you even see in that stuck up prince guy anyways?”

“You respect me, just not my boundaries?” I suggested.

“Hay, that’s not fair! You were every bit as into it as I was!” she objected.

I sighed, nodding in defeat. “Alright… it’s not your fault, but that still doesn’t mean we’re on again.”

It was her turn to sigh. “Look, I’m sorry the, uh, thing didn’t work out… maybe I can find a smaller one?”

I looked at the strapon she had gotten me for hearth warming, cringing at the memories of our failed attempt to use it. I had been prepared for pain, maybe even a bit of injury. I knew virgins could have it rough, and the size of that thing promised to be a challenge. But while the inner end had no trouble slipping into Dash, no amount of warming up, applying lube, or trying different angles had managed to get the flared tip inside of me.

The trouble was, a real stallion wasn’t going to be any easier. After a bit of silence, Dash picked up on my train of thought. “Wait, if you can’t even get the tip in, then what about Prince Charming? Are we going to have to start calling him Prince Blueballs?”

I didn’t have a real answer, so I settled for kicking her out.

The next morning I stopped by Twilight’s library to check in and help file the after-action report. “Why are you wearing an umbrella hat?”

“Pinkie’s tail’s twitching. What can you do?”

I glanced at the pink mare who was wearing a matching rainbow colored umbrella mounted to her head, and saw her tail was indeed twitching. As was her right eyebrow.

“And that means something?”

“It means look out for falling objects. You should be careful too. I may not understand it, but her Pinkie Sense clearly has predictive capabilities.”

“And what’s the Pinkie Sense saying with the eyebrow twitch?”

“Oh, that’s not my Pinkie Sense,” Pinkie declared. “That’s my Shipper Sense! And it’s telling me there’s a big change on the horizon, something I never would have expected. Not in my wildest dreams. Not even in your wildest dreams! Though come to think of it, your dreams don’t seem all that wild. You should work on that.”

“Well, I am dating a prince now,” I mentioned, though I worried my blush and lack of eye contact would clue them in on last night’s slip up somehow.

“No, that’s too predictable. He’s been on the chart since day one,” Pinkie said. “I bet this one’s going to be a doozy.”

“Is your Shipper Sense as reliable as your Pinkie Sense?” I asked with a bit of trepidation.

“Nope!” she admitted. “But it’s twice as fun! Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a chart to revise!”

As the mare pronked away, I shook my head and refocused on the librarian. “If we could set questions of my love life aside for now and focus on our job?”

“Gladly,” she said, perking up. We set to work on the report, getting every relevant details straight before handing it off to Spike to deliver. We started discussing Pinkie’s precognition abilities and whether and how they could be applied to the defense of Equestria when Spike let out a surprised exclamation.

“Princess Celestia to see you, Cloud,” he announced after a moment, and the diarch soon slipped in through the upper doorway behind him, descending the stairs with a smile on her face, the report held in her magical grip and held aside as she approached.

“Miss Strife, a pleasure to see you again. If I might inquire, how are things going between you and my nephew?”

“Well enough. We haven’t had that long to get to know one another, but he was a charming gentleman-” Twilight corrected me with “gentlecolt” as I continued to speak. “-the whole time. We were planning to meet again for lunch today. Why do you ask?”

“Good, good. I do hope things go well between you two. It’s important for a mare to have a special somepony in their life, don’t you think? If you ever have any trouble with him, just let me know and I’ll be happy to talk to him, and help straighten things out.”

“Sure… but why do you care?”

“Cloud!” Twilight objected, but Celestia raised a wing to still her.

“I care about all my little ponies, and I also care about the other citizens of my realm, such as yourself. But admittedly family and friends more than most. Am I wrong for hoping my nephew finds good fortune? I do think you’ll be happy with him, don’t you?”

“We’ll see…”

My lack of commitment seemed to bother the princess, but she didn’t press the issue. “I look forward to more good news from both of you. In the meantime, I must get back to Canterlot, and look over this report of yours. I’ll be seeing you.”

As I watched her go, I began to pine for simpler times, like life or death battles with hydras. They were certainly a lot more straightforward than my love life.

Chapter 22: Sonic Rainboom

"Hey, why don't we make a promise? Umm, if I'm ever in a bind... You come save me, all right?"

"What?" I asked, a bit distracted by the memories the words evoked.

"Whenever I'm in trouble, my hero will come and rescue me. I want to at least experience that once."

"What?" I asked again, bringing my attention back to the present.

"Come on, promise me,” the prince insisted. “What… what’s so funny? You’re a powerful warrior, I’ve seen you in action. And I’m just a prince, the very definition of kidnapping bait. I’m sure you’ve read the stories, perhaps even some of the ones that are true.”

“Really?” I said, when I could cut through the laughter. “I know the nation is ruled by princesses, but I didn’t think it would be so thoroughly reversed. Where I come from it’s the males that are typically the protector types and princesses are known for being kidnapping bait.”

“Oh?” he asked before giving it a bit of thought and looking mortified. “Oh my, such a faux pas on my part. Please forgive me, I hadn’t realized. I haven’t had a chance to learn much of your culture aside from our scant time together. That must be so awkward for you, the inadvertent gender role reversal…”

I waved dismissively. “It’s alright. Actually… I hope this isn’t too awkward for you, but the magic that brought me here to your world also changed my gender from what it had been. I’ve only been a woman for a little over half a year now. I’ve actually had almost that exact conversation with a female friend of mine years ago.”

“Really? How’d it go with her? I imagine it didn’t end with you laughing at her.”

“No, she kinda pushed me into making her a promise. I… wasn’t able to fulfill it though. I was actually on the way to save her from a dangerous situation when I was sent here. But she’s tough, I’m sure she made it out alright. If I ever do make it back home, though, I bet she’ll punch me in the gut first chance she gets for not keeping my promise.”

I laughed, and Blueblood joined in a second after. “There must be a lot about your home you miss.” When I didn’t answer immediately, he admitted “Auntie actually mentioned your gender change. Does that make it awkward for you dating a stallion?”

I shook my head. “Dating anyone like this is awkward for me, but I’ve gotten used to it. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life alone, and I don’t have much hope of going home. Even if I did find a way… I’m needed here. I’m the bearer of the element of magic, a protector of the realm, and a leader. My destiny is here, that much is obvious.”

He grasped my hand between two hooves. “Does your destiny have room for one more?” he asked.

I blushed and stammered a moment, as his intense eyes bore into mine. My heart raced and I lost track of the passage of time. Was it minutes or just a fraction of a second? I wasn’t sure, but I finally managed to mumble out an “I think so.”

That was enough to get him to pull back and smile contentedly, as if I had just made him the happiest stallion in the world.

“Wait, that wasn’t secretly some pony custom that means we’re engaged now, is it?”

He laughed heartily before shaking his head. “Oh, no no. Nothing like that. Believe me, when and if we are engaged, you will know it without question. Now then… if you’re quite finished with your dessert, we should be going. I mean to spend the day with my good friend Filthy Rich. I’m sure you would be welcome, if you’d like to join?”

“No, thanks. I appreciate the lunch, and the company, but I need to go on patrol, and check in with the others. I’ll walk with you as far as Mr. Rich’s house though. Shall we go?”

We were halfway there when a deafening wave of sound overtook us, quickly drawing our attention to Rainbow Dash buzzing by us at a shocking speed even by her standards, before she seemed to bounce off the air itself and come tumbling to the ground nearby.

“Loyalty? Are you alright?”

“So… close. Buck it, I almost had it!”

“Almost had what? What are you up to?”

“I was, uh, just practicing my sonic rainboom, for the Best Young Flyers competition, in Cloudsdale. It’s coming up next week, and I really want to wow them. But even with the haste materia, I can’t quite get up to speed every time.”

“If you’re flying so fast, why are you flying so low? You could hit something. Or someone.”

She glanced at Prince Blueblood meaningfully before turning back to me but not meeting my eyes. “No comment.”

I sighed, annoyed, but decided not to pursue the matter and draw Blueblood’s attention to her history of jealousy. “We’ll talk, later. In the meantime, find somewhere to practice where you won’t hit anyone. Are you going to need time off for the competition?”

“That’s right. And so will Kindness, so she can come cheer me on. It’s a shame the rest of you can’t come.”

“Why not?”

Blueblood interjected at this point. “I assume she means because it’s in Cloudsdale, the pegasus city. Other ponies can’t really go there without magic. But really, dear, a simple cloudwalking spell isn’t that difficult to manage, and we could hire a chariot to bring us there and back. The streets and most buildings are all arranged for cloudwalking, so that wings aren’t strictly necessary. Would you like to go? I could fancy a bit of sports watching myself, and they have some fine dining there you simply can’t get anyplace else.”

Rainbow stared at Blueblood, apparently at a loss as to how to react, while I nodded. “Can we bring the whole team?”

He hesitated a moment before nodding. “Very well. We should be able to accommodate the whole group easily enough in the royal box seats. I shall have to clear it with my dear aunts first, of course, but I am sure they will be happy to have you.”

“It’s settled then. I expect a good showing from you, Rainbow. You should check the rules first, though. They might not allow magic items.”

Dash grumbled as she left, but at least she left us alone.

When we arrived at Rich’s house, Filthy and Blueblood exchanged greetings before the tycoon turned to me. “Miss Strife, please, do come in. There is a matter I am desperate to discuss with you.”

“Oh? That’s a surprise,” I said, relenting and entering, as we quickly moved to a side room set out with opulent seating, and a small table already set out with tea and light snacks. There were only two tea cups set out, but a third was quickly added by a pony wearing a tuxedo top. It always seemed strange to me that when ponies did wear clothing, especially stallions, the rear end where what I thought of as the ‘private’ parts was the least likely to actually be covered up. Considering how often they were simply naked, it never seemed worth discussing outside of Fluttershy’s tea parties, though, and she couldn’t give much of an answer.

“I’ll be right to the point. I would like you to accept my dear filly, Diamond Tiara, into your junior membership. I’m prepared to make a quite generous donation to see that it happens,” the man said.

“Junior membership?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

“You know, the Elements of Greatness? The ones with the school fillies, and that hatchling?”

I blinked a few times. “They’re not actually directly affiliated with us. I can’t really do anything to get anyone let in or left out.”

“Oh come now, don’t be so modest. I’m sure you can make something happen.” A rather bulky sack marked with the bit symbol floated unsubtly toward me.

“I can talk to them, and ask them about it, but that’s about it.” I snatched the bag. I was, after all, a self respecting mercenary. Government contract or no. “I seem to remember there being a conflict between them and your daughter, though. Have they worked that out yet?”

“I’m sure it’s water under the bridge,” he assured unconvincingly.

“Right… I’ll talk to them. Was there anything else?”

“Her friend, what was her name again? I’m sure they know the one. She should be let in as well. No sense separating the dears, is there? I’m sure another large donation could find its way to you if she is,” Filthy bribed. “Other than that… if you’d care to stay and socialize a bit, I’m sure Blueblood and I would adore your company.”

I shook my head. “No, as I’ve told the prince I have other responsibilities. And now they include a little talk with a young dragon. I’ll take my leave now. See you again soon, Prince?”

“Same time tomorrow?”

“Sure.”

I plopped the bag of bits on the counter by Spike, where he had been reading a comic book and idly munching a pile of gems. “Wow, that’s a nice bag of bits. Showing off your payday?”

“It’s yours. Well, the Element of Greatness’s. Filthy Rich gave it to me to talk to you about letting Diamond Tiara and her friend join.”

“Silver Spoon? No thanks. Those two’s teasing is the reason we formed the club in the first place.”

I shrugged and started walking away.

“Wait… that’s it? You left the bits behind.”

“I only promised to talk to you, not that they’d get in. And I’ve got enough bits, you can have those. Use it to upgrade the clubhouse or something. Or buy yourselves candy, I don’t care.”

Spike frowned at the bag as I left, obviously troubled. I didn’t know how it would shake out, but it wasn’t my problem. It wasn’t my club. The school children needed to sort things out themselves.

But as mercenary as I could be, I didn’t feel like I was the one who had earned that bribe.

The chariot that came to pick us up was absurd. It was fifteen feet wide and fifty feet long, not counting the team of a dozen well muscled pegasi in the front that pulled it. The base of it was black, and covered in posh cushioned seating around the outside, while a bubble of magic over the top kept the wind out, and could be adjusted in opacity to either allow a great view or privacy from whatever other traffic was nearby. The second most absurd thing about it was the mini fridge stocked with a variety of drinks, alcoholic and otherwise. The most absurd thing was the small hot tub in the middle.

At least our party was large enough to somewhat justify such a large vehicle. All six Elements of Harmony, Prince Blueblood, Twilight Sparkle, Spike, and Sweetie Belle all enjoyed the comforts of the luxury transport on our way to Cloudsdale for the competition. The hot tub was far too small for all, but Rainbow Dash unabashedly enjoyed it the whole way there, while Rarity, Fluttershy, and Applejack each enjoyed a brief turn in it with her.

When Rarity had finished with her own soak, and properly dried and fixed her fur, mane, and tail, she took a seat next to Blueblood, on his other side. I glanced at her before closing my eyes again, continuing to relax as the trek continued, but quietly listening.

“Darling, you simply must teach me the spell you use to keep your mane held so well,” she began.

“Oh, it’s no spell. Nothing but the finest hair styling products, straight from Canterlot, of course,” Blueblood countered, before I quickly lost track of their conversation. Even as a woman, I couldn’t be bothered to take that much interest in the finer details of hair care. I washed mine regularly, and figured that was enough.

After a time, though, the conversation got quieter and all I could make out clearly was the occasional giggle or chuckle. I began to get a feel for what Rainbow Dash must have gone through with that quill. Thinking of how innocent the explanation there had been, though, I did my best to push it aside.

Still, it made a long flight feel much longer.

I had never really believed it before then. Everypony believed it, without exception. It certainly explained the jumpiness in the morning and at night. But I simply had not truly believed Celestia and her sister moved the sun and moon with their magic.

Seeing Rainbow Dash and her team shape the weather day after day didn’t convince me. They moved clouds that had formed elsewhere, or induced them to rain or snow. That seemed novel to me, but not difficult to believe. My world had no magic like that, but we had plenty of other magic. What finally convinced me was the rainbow factory. In my world, rainbows were a physical phenomenon, something about water in the air refracting light. I wasn’t a scientist, but I had heard the scientific explanation a few times.

Here, they were made in factories. They came out of the machinery as a multicolored liquid, and had to be carefully managed to go set them into the sky in just the right arc, with just the right sequence, and then they just stuck there. Not forever; the permanent rainbows that did exist persisted only because of regular maintenance. But they lasted quite a while. And most notably, no matter how much rain fell, there wouldn’t be a rainbow in the sky unless some pegasus flew over and set it up for everyone to look at.

While rainbows had very little to do with the sun and the moon, even less here than on Gaia, demolishing my preconceptions about rainbows brought into question my preconditions about the celestial bodies. And at that point, I honestly couldn’t justify them anymore. Equis just worked differently.

It was probably for the best. With the likes of Shinra Corporation wielding power on Gaia, if anyone there did have power over celestial bodies it would surely end in some incredible disaster, or at least an unbelievable case of blackmail. But here, I could believe political leaders could actually be trusted to use the power over the heavens responsibly. It was happening, after all, day after day.

It wasn’t just the rainbows, either. Apparently snowflakes had to be made by hoof, carefully made and stored year round to be ready for winter. Diamond Dust scoffed at first, her own power easily able to make snow in bulk as she had amply demonstrated, but when she got a good look at the snowflakes the ponies were making she became quite enamored with the craftsmanship.

While Rainbow Dash was giving us the tour, a group of workers approached us, causing the weathermare to give a disgusted sigh. “Not these guys again…”

“Hey, Rainbow crash, what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be practicing your ‘sonic rainboom’?” one of them said, raising his hooves in air quotes. He and his friends laughed, apparently finding the idea funny.

“Leave me alone you guys. I’ll show you the rainboom is real. Just wait for the competition, you’ll see.”

“It really is real, I’ve seen it several times,” Fluttershy corroborated quietly.

“Yeah, right. We’ll go, just to watch you fail!” the pony said with another laugh before wandering off with his friends.

Their pathetic taunting annoyed me, and made me want to do something to them, but it wasn’t really worth the effort. Attending to Rainbow Dash, however, was. “Loyalty, are you ready for the competition?”

“I, um… sure thing, boss,” she said, unconvincingly. “One sonic rainboom, coming up.”

“Oh, but you’ve never managed to pull it off without materia,” Fluttershy pointed out.

“So what? I checked the rules carefully, and they don’t have anything against materia,” Dash pointed out.

“Isn’t that against the spirit of the rules?” I questioned. “I’m sure there’s got to be a rule against using magic in general.”

“Actually, there isn’t,” Twilight Sparkle pointed out. “For example, I could even cast a flight spell on one of you to give temporary wings, and you’d be allowed to enter the competition, despite obviously using magic to even be capable of competing. It’s not like magic would necessarily allow you to be the most impressive flyer. There’s matters of showmareship, and talent that can’t simply be solved by magic.”

“You have a flight spell, darling?” Rarity asked with interest.

“I found it in one of my books while we were preparing to come here. I thought it wise to be prepared, after all. Though it’s quite a complicated spell, so I doubt I could manage it more than once without a good rest.”

“Is there a way we could make it into something my Element would work on, to make a materia for it? A flight materia seems like it would be a major asset, maybe even worth equipping everyone but the pegasi with,” I said.

“Oh, that’s a good question. I’m afraid it will take some research and experimentation, though,” Twilight replied. “We’ll have to get back to it after we return to Ponyville.”

“Alright. It shouldn’t be urgent,” I said. That was probably what jinxed it.

“Fillies and gentlecolts! Please rise and join me in welcoming our beloved Princess Celestia!”

We rose from our seats in the royal box seats and looked around confused. We would have expected her to be here with us, if she was anywhere, and indeed a spotline shown in on us, highlighting the much larger seat that nopony else had dared to occupy.

After a moment’s delay, Prince Blueblood stepped into the spotlight, though not daring actually touch the seat itself. A spell amplified his voice so he could be heard by the crowd. “My dear aunt sends her regrets, but she was unable to make today’s competition. Please, carry on, and I will regale her with the highlights of your performances soon.”

That seemed enough to satisfy them, and the announcer moved on to announcing the judges.

“Why can’t she make it?” I asked Blueblood curiously.

“I have no idea, this is the first I’ve learned of it. But leaving the whole stadium to worry isn’t a good idea. It could set off a most unsightly panic. The ones who need to worry about it are all right here… aside from Miss Dash. I will leave it to you to decide whether she needs to be recalled from the competition to join your investigation,” Blueblood said. “It is unlike either of my aunts to miss an event like this, yet neither have arrived.”

“Well, let’s start by doing this the easy way. Spike, take a letter,” Twilight ordered. Soon a missive had vanished into green flames, the ashes floating off onto the wind. “That’s strange. Canterlot is five degrees farther north than that. If I didn’t know better, I’d think the letter was heading for Ponyville.”

“You don’t know better,” I said. “We’re investigating a mystery. Let’s wait for now, though. If they are in Ponyville, it will be a long journey, and it’s best to give them a moment to reply.”

“Look! The competition’s starting. Let’s at least enjoy the show,” Sweetie Belle suggested. As the ponies moved to watch, I noticed Sweetie slipping a hoof into Spike’s clawed hand. Someone was getting along well.

Rainbow Dash was last to compete, which surprised me a bit. Luck of the draw, I guess. Still, it was a good spot to be in, if you could finish strong. Make the judges forget everything that came before.

The first few parts of her routine seemed fairly run of the mill, if well executed. Slaloms, loops, and spirals that other ponies had done well, a few obviously better. Then I saw the light of her magic as she hasted herself. She darted forth in a straight line, straight down from above the stadium, straight down through the open bottom. A loud crack of sound washed over us, reminding me of when she had flown by Blueblood and I.

The air exploded in a brilliant ring of colors. Rainbows, not factory made but somehow made by her wake, rippled out in all directions behind her. Our ears were still ringing from the sound wave as she passed, but were now being deafened by the cheering of the crowd.

Down below, a furrow in the ground showed where she had turned her course a bit late, gouging the ground before she could get her momentum pointed upward again. I don’t think the judges noticed. The crowd certainly didn’t.

We got back in the luxury chariot, and started toward Ponyville. We passed the haste materia around to spread the drain of casting the magic repeatedly on the team of pegasi pulling us through the air. We periodically sent additional missives, alternating between the two princesses, in part to refine our direction and guide us toward them more accurately. None of the letters were answered. And each time the ashes flew off toward Ponyville. Or more accurately, slightly south of Ponyville. The Everfree.

As we approached the town, though, we could see there were problems in town as well. Terrified ponies running in a panic, or under siege in their homes. Ponyville was under attack. The princesses would have to wait, for the moment, but not for long.

It was time to earn our pay.

Chapter 24: Heart of the Everfree

“After Cloud threw Sephiroth into the Lifestream, Tifa’s mentor was able to rescue her from the reactor. However, he was unable to recover Cloud and Zack before they were taken into custody by the Turks, Shinra’s intelligence agency. The Turks handed the two unconscious survivors over to Hojo, an unscrupulous scientist who subjected them to dangerous experiments.”

“Discord? Why are you narrating my dreams? And for that matter, how do you know that’s what happened? It’s not like I remember it, I was unconscious the whole time.”

“I know, I just said that. Now shush, I’m just peeking in through the fourth wall to see what happened. Anyways, I’m not Discord. Discord has a very sexy body, I only have a sexy voice. You can call me John. Or Mr. de Lancie if you’re being formal.”

“Mmm, it is a pretty sexy voice,~” Diamond Dust sing-songed.

“Quiet Diamond,” I snapped.

“You be quiet. I want to hear the rest of this story,” she chided.

“Fine,” I conceded.

“As I was saying, Hojo injected cells from the alien, Jenova, into both Cloud and Zack before bombarding them both with massive doses of Mako energy. Zack had already been subjected to Mako as part of his induction into SOLDIER, and faired better, eventually managing to break free and rescue Cloud. Cloud, by contrast was barely conscious throughout their escape. Practically a burden of dead weight on his dear friend.”

“Hey!” I objected.

“It’s true!” he asserted.

“You don’t have to be mean about it though,” I complained.

“You want to talk to me about being mean? Salt injection darts,” he countered.

“That was Kindness’ doing, and only because you messed with her mind,” I pointed out.

“You mean Discord, the handsome devil, did. I’m John, remember.”

“Whatever… please continue.”

“Despite the incredible burden, Zack managed to escape all the way to the cliffs overlooking Midgar before Shinra overtook them. However, he was mortally wounded in the ensuing confrontation, and merely had time for one final exchange of words with his friend.”

“Zack,” my past self greeted weakly as my friend made it back to me.

“On my behalf…” he began, his injury keeping him from continuing for a bit.

“Your behalf?” I prompted.

“That's right. You will...” he tried again. Had I not been so out of it from the recent Mako poisoning, I would have realized sooner how badly he was hurt.

“You will...” I merely repeated. I was in quite the daze at the time. I realized, now, that that was when I started to blur our memories in my mind. I’m not sure how I got his memories to begin with… something to do with Hojo’s experiments? That must have been it.

“Continue living. You are proof that I existed. My dreams and pride, I give it all to you,” I don’t know if he realized he was practically brainwashing me at the time. It’s not his fault, I know.

“I am proof that you existed,” I dutifully repeated. That was the point when he gave me his sword. The sword that had been passed down to him by his mentor. The Buster Sword. The blade that had become my emblem, even if it was a world away.

He managed to make his way to the cliff edge to sit, looking over Midgar. “Hold on to your dreams! If you want to become a hero you have to hold onto your dreams.” Funny how crowded my dreams are these days. In both sense of the word.

“Thank you. I won't forget. Good night. Zack.”

“That girl said that she was scared of the natural sky. But of course it
must feel great right? Those wings of yours, lend them to me as well. What's
this? It feels great. When you meet Aeris I'm depending on you to look after
her. Hey I've become a hero right?” I didn’t really understand most of his last words. Wings? What was that all about? But I did know this; I managed to look after Aeris for a few days before that cursed merchant sent me to the land of bright, colorful ponies. I got her out of one jam; it would have to be enough.

John continued. “Despite your promise, even as you walked into town carrying the sword that was to be your memento, you did forget. You forgot even who you were, stealing his memories for your own. You forgot that you were the weak pathetic coward who could never amount to anything.”

“You’re wrong,” I said.

“Am I? You never did make it into SOLDIER,” he alleged.

“I’m the one who was strong enough to beat Sephiroth with his own sword, even when it was impaled in my chest. You, sorry ‘Discord’, didn’t fair much better when he tried the same.”

“Touche,” he said.

“That was pretty badass,” Diamond admitted.

“Whose side are you on?” John asked, sounding hurt.

“Your voice is pretty sexy.~ But I’m Cloud’s summon. Of course, you are too, now. So that makes you on our side,” she reasoned.

“Don’t I get a say about this?” he asked.

“Seems like a ‘say’ is all you have,” I quipped.

I woke in Ponyville General. The other Element Bearers were nearby, but weren’t being treated. Their armor had saved them from the worst of the vines’ attacks, while many ponies were in much worse shape.

“Cloud!” Rainbow said before giving me a fierce hug. She backed off sheepishly when I groaned in pain. “Sorry.”

“No, it’s fine. It’s good to see you too, Loy- Rainbow Dash.”

“Are you feeling okay?” the pegasus asked.

“Yeah,” I said, sitting up in the bed and putting my legs over the edge.

“Woah there, partner. I know you’re some kind of super-soldier, or whatever, but even you need some rest after being run through,” Applejack chastised.

“Are the princesses back?” I asked her.

“No, but-”

“Then we don’t have time to rest any longer. The sun won’t move until we rescue Celestia, and eternal day isn’t going to work out much better than eternal night would have.”

“Actually,” Rarity interjected, “Twilight Sparkle is currently researching the spells the ancient unicorns used to move the sun in the time before Celestia was born. Not that I’m suggesting we leave the princesses captured, mind you.”

“It’s been a rather rough time already, do you think we could just rest and recover a while longer?” Fluttershy requested quietly.

“How long has it been?”

“Well, the sun never went down so it’s technically the same day, right?”

“How long?” I reiterated.

“Two and a half days, more or less,” Rainbow admitted. “What? We use clocks on the weather team.”

“It’s time we rescue the princesses. They won’t be able to hold out much longer without water. Discord is out of the way. We just have to cut our way through the plants. Let’s get Spike and go.”

“Oh my, I hadn’t thought about that,” Fluttershy said, determination starting to show in her face and voice. “Let’s go get our princesses back!”

If I were a politer person I might have had a hard time getting out of the hospital. As it was, I more or less ignored the nurse that tried to stop me for my own good, with Fluttershy giving a hasty apology on my behalf as we went.

This was harder to ignore.

“No, not a chance, absolutely not!” Rarity insisted.

“He’s not going without us, not this time,” Sweetie Belle insisted back.

“Hey, we’re Elements too, you can’t like, leave us out of our first big mission since joining! Especially not after daddy bought us all these great uniforms,” Diamond Tiara said. I noticed she had a tiara of her own on, rather than a necklace like the other Elements of Greatness sported. Cute. A not so subtle bid for leadership, no doubt justified by her name and cutie mark.

“And just who do you think made those uniforms?” Rarity questioned.

“You did, Miss Rarity with Miss Sparkle conducting the enchantments, which is why we can be confident they are top notch and quite adequate protection,” Silver Spoon quipped.

“Ugh, we’re going into the heart of the Everfree Forest. Which is even more dangerous than usual thanks to those crazy vines. We don’t have time for babysitting!”

“Who are you calling babies?!” Scootaloo demanded. “We may be fillies, but we can help too.”

“They’re coming,” I decided.

“What? Why?!” Rarity said.

“Because if we try to leave them behind, they’ll sneak after us and then we won’t know to watch for threats that endanger them. If they’re in our midst we can be on guard from the beginning. And they can give extra sets of eyes to call out if they do spot anything dangerous. And with their uniforms on they have enough protection to buy us time to react,” I explained. “That said, I need you six to take this seriously. Deadly seriously. The Everfree has a lot of dangers to begin with, and the black vines are still a threat. Discord should be down for the count, but there may be other surprises.”

Everypony and Spike nodded in agreement. “I’m coming too, then,” Twilight insisted, moving in among the Elements of Greatness. “I can use my magic to shield us or teleport us out of danger if we need to.”

“As will I!” Prince Blueblood insisted.

“You’re one of their priority targets,” I noted.

“Then use that. Surely you can figure out how to use bait effectively?” he pointed out. “Those vines have stolen my aunts. I’ll do whatever I can to help.”

“Alright. But that’s it. A dozen ponies, a dragon and me,” I said.

“What about the guards?” Blueblood suggested.

“They need to guard the town, don’t they? Besides, a larger group will draw more unwanted attention in the Everfree,” I countered. “Let’s move with what we’ve got. We’re already at risk of stepping on each other’s toes, er, hooves too much as it is.”

We moved into the forest in two groups. The Elements of Harmony took the lead, with Applejack and Rainbow Dash on point, Fluttershy and Prince Blueblood by my side, and Rarity and Pinkie Pie guarding opposite flanks. Behind us, The fillies made a rough circle around Twilight Sparkle, with Spike riding her back.

“I strongly suspect the princesses are being held at the Castle of the Two Sisters,” Twilight confirmed as we got closer. “The direction the letters have been travelling has been quite consistent.”

“Do you know if the magic of his fire breath will work if the recipient is dead?” I asked.

The fillies gasped at the thought and their bravery faltered, though they kept pace nonetheless.

“Cloud! You shouldn’t say such things near foals,” Rarity chided.
“I don’t know,” Twilight admitted, concerned.

“It doesn’t change our current course,” I said. “We are getting the princesses back, in whatever state they are. Heads up!”

Black vines shot out from the woods from all directions, focused on Prince Blueblood. As he had hinted, we used their preoccupation with him to land easier blows on the vines, cutting them off and sealing the ends with fire, ice, or salt. The pain in my wound made the movements painful for me, but I only expressed it as a grunt. Blueblood was important to me, I wouldn’t let them take him that easily.

For that matter, so was everyone else here. I pushed through the pain, hacking through every vine I could, while the ponies did their part. Twilight’s magic provided a bubble of protection around her and the youngsters, buying time while they readied weapons of their own. I hadn’t expected that, but they all came packing squirt guns whose liquid contents proved fatal to the vines on contact.

“Where’d you get those?” I asked them.

“Daddy bought them for us,” Diamond Tiara pointed out. “They were extra expensive with everypony wanting some on account of the vines attacking Ponyville. But he arranged for an express shipment while you were in the hospital.”

“And nopony thought to tell me before now?” I asked.

“We didn’t know, honest,” Applejack said.

“And you didn’t ask us until now,” Applebloom added. “You were too busy debating if we should come to ask how we had prepared.”

“Alright. Well… don’t waste your ammunition. Do you have any refills?”

“Just what we could fit in our saddlebags,” Sweetie Belle admitted. “And it’s a bit hard to refill these on the move.”

“I can help,” Twilight offered.

We pressed on, facing more frequent attacks as we neared the castle. Finally, we arrived across the chasm from it. The sun, stuck in its noon high, easily illuminated the area, especially with the break in foliage. The entire castle was covered in a tangled web of black vines, writhing restlessly.

But they all seemed to be sourced from a cave on the cliffside below the castle, rather than the castle itself. When Spike sent off the next letter, it flew down into the cave, confirming our destination. A second letter, sent to Luna, confirmed she was down there as well.

“We need a plan.”

“For the record, I am not personally fond of any plan that has me dripping such malodorous chemicals from my person,” Blueblood complained.

“Noted,” Rainbow Dash grunted, as she and Fluttershy carried the soaked prince across the chasm to the cave. As vines lashed out at them, they dropped their load, only for him to become wrapped first in a bubble of magical force, then a layer of vines around the bubble. The pegasi backwinged out of range, even as the bubble was dragged into the cave.

“So far so good,” Twilight told me from our vantage point at the cliff side. “But my magic can only hold out so long. It feels like the vines are actually draining the power out of it somehow. We’ve got to act fast.”

“Right. Everyone who’s going in, be ready.”

“I’ll keep the fillies and Spike safe,” Twilight promised.

“You better, since we’re out of ammo,” Diamond Tiara demanded.

“Pinkie’s almost in position. I’m getting started,” Applejack stated, before starting with her lasso.

Countless spheres of fluff appeared in the castle, devouring every thorn, leaf, and vine of the plunderseeds, and make what remained writhe in pain, and perhaps anger. That was AJ’s cue to throw her lasso across to a rocky outcropping on the far side. Rarity and I grabbed onto her and joined her in the swing across to the cave on the opposite side. As we hoped, the vines were too distracted to repel us, or the pegasi that swooped in before we could hit the ground running.

They finally noticed us and swarmed in from all sides, but we merely vanished into the ether, still running through the strange shadow world we found ourselves in, placing ourselves to reappear farther in. Fortunately, we didn’t have far to run. The three royals were visible just beyond the ball of plant matter that swirled in front of us.

“Ladies and Gentlecolt, announcing the winner take all fight of the century,” John de Lancie helpfully announced. “Cloud Strife and the Elements of Harmony versus the Plunderseed Core! Round one… Fight!” At the final word we faded back into reality, weapons in hand and hoof, ready to challenge the very source of the plants. It was a massive knot of vines and roots, some buried in the ground around it, others seemingly growing out of some strange crystal growth in the middle of the cave.

“Cloud! Just in time,” Blueblood said as the shield around him popped, dropping him to the ground. He shook himself of violently, and the herbicides he was doused with sprayed in every direction, killing the vines that were trying to grasp him, as well as those wrapped tightly around the princesses. Sadly, the alicorns were still unconscious, and would be of no help in this fight. But the prince went to them and put the canteens we had given him to good use, hydrating them as much as he could in the moment.

More vines moved to try to recapture the royals, which left the core relatively vulnerable. It wasn’t focused on us. Fluttershy used the opening to find a spot next to a rock to cloak herself, taking her time looking for a particularly vulnerable looking spot to fire the one dart we had loaded with the fillies’ herbicide. Rainbow Dash darted in immediately, slamming into vines with her hooves and then darting off into the air to evade. Rarity got to work swiftly with her needles, the materia that had once powered a sewing machine helping her rapidly perforate the vines.

My own swordsmanship was doing a number on the vines, but it wasn’t enough. As the plant finally recognized the threat we posed, several vines harried Rarity, forcing her on the defensive. Another managed to outflank Rainbow, snagging her leg and grounding her. Things were starting to get desperate, and the familiar surge of power began to build with the need to protect my friends. But this called for more than just swordplay.

Whatever Discord had done to my mind in his reversal, I’d started to finally separate my own memories from those I had somehow inherited from Zack Fair. We had known each other back in Shinra, and there was an attack he had told me I inspired him to invent. Now it was my turn to use it myself. Pooling the power within me, I concentrated a portion of it into my legs, while the rest flowed into my sword.

With Mako empowered strength I leaped, nearly reaching the roof before I pointed the flat of my blade at the core. The blade opened into a portal, briefly, ripping stones from space and hurtling them down at the core, flames licking them as they struck at the plant, smashing vines and burning the wounds shut so they couldn’t easily heal. The plant flailed, recoiling away from the crystalline structure it had been wrapped around, vines spreading wide and revealing the bulb at the center that all of the vines were growing out of.

And then a shot rang out and that bulb dropped to the ground, the vines around it limp, a lone dart sticking out of its surface.

Luna was the first to regain consciousness. Gasping out, she looked around worried. Celestia was on the bed next to her, still out. I had the bed on her other side, finally obliged to rest until my wound had time to heal. The others were gone, for now.

“Lady Strife. You are injured as well? Did the vines capture you also?”

“Briefly, Princess, but it was a creature calling itself Discord that did this, before we were able to turn him to stone with the Elements,” I told her. “He called those vines the plunderseeds, and took credit for them. I think he was directing them somehow, as they were a notably less intelligent foe after he was defeated.”

“Discord! I should have known. He was turned to stone once before, when my sister and I wielded the Elements long ago. The plunderseeds must have found a way to release him.”

“Maybe Princess Celestia knows more about it. The doctor says she should recover fully, though you were both dehydrated severely. I’m afraid we were almost too late,” I said. “Also… I apologize, but the Castle of the Two Sisters is no more.”

“It was already a ruin for some time. What do you mean by ‘no more’”

“Eaten by parasprites, down to the last stone.”

“We see… .we had heard of your powerful summons, but to hear of such thorough devastation…”

“We have to be especially careful about that one. I have a new one that is far more subtle,” I said.

“And what is that?”

“The voice of Discord.”

“Just the voice?”

“He calls himself John de Lancie for reasons I can’t fathom, but Pinkie Pie insists make perfect sense.”

“And… what does he do? When you summon him, I mean.”

“He talks. He’s a voice, what do you expect?”

She took a moment to consider that. What had she expected? “That is a pretty subtle power. I think I like it.”
A groan brought our attention to the other bed, as Princess Celestia began to stir. “This doesn’t look like the royal infirmary…”

“We’re in Ponyville General Hospital,” I told her. “Welcome back, Princess. Rest for now, but if you’re up for it in a few hours we could really use a sunset.”

“How long have I been out?” she said, worried.

“It’s been noon for four full days now,” I informed her. “I’m sorry we weren’t able to rescue you faster. I had to recover somewhat from Discord stabbing me through the gut with my own sword.”

“Are you alright?!”

“I’ll be fine. It’s not even the first time I’ve been run through there. Never seems to work out for the person on the other end of the sword, though,” I said, smiling ruefully.

“I recall that from your dreams,” Luna said. “You have a remarkable inner strength.”

“I have… more to show you when you next visit my dreams,” I told her. “I’ve finally remembered who I really am, and who I’m not. It just took Discord messing with my head to do it.”

“We should check you over, make sure there’s nothing lingering from him,” Celestia said, worriedly. “And what about those vines. If he sent them…”

“They’re gone now. All dead, finally,” I assured. “We found the core of them in a cave under your old castle.”

“The tree of harmony!” the princesses exclaimed in unison.

“I didn’t see any tree down there. Just some crystal spire thing the vines were wrapped around.”

“We need to go,” Celestia insisted, struggling to try to get out of bed.

“Is it worth risking your health to go right now,” I asked.

“Yes,” they said in unison, as Luna struggled to get up as well. I was on my feet by the time they were.

“Then let’s go.”

“The Tree of Harmony,” Celestia said as she stood before the crystal spire. I hadn’t noticed before, but it had a sun and a moon etched into it that matched the princess’s cutie marks.

“Is dead,” Luna concluded, pointing to where it was snapped off, or perhaps eaten off, at the top. “I know you did the best you could, Cloud.”

“No!” Celestia said with a fury I had never seen from her. “Maybe, maybe it was the best you could have done, but it wasn’t the best she could have done! You weren’t supposed to be the Element Bearer. You weren’t even supposed to be here!”

“Sister…”

“What are you talking about?”

“That bucking sword wasn’t the third symbol on the tree! You stole it! Stole her destiny right out from under her snout! And now look what’s happened, all because of you!”

Being berated by a furious horse was, honestly, something I never expected to happen in my life. A year ago I would have found the image hilarious, but in this moment it was quite intimidating. And I honestly didn’t know enough about what she was talking about to try to defend myself. That didn’t stop me from being defensive, though. “I’ve done the best I could from the day I arrived. I saved your sister!”

“She did, sister,” Luna offered.

“And I sealed Discord in stone.”

“Again. And he’ll break out of it, again. The tree is gone, there’s nothing to keep him from absorbing enough chaos from his surroundings to break out again. And soon, since the tree can do nothing to maintain the strength of the spell,” Celestia spat out.

“Then send him somewhere that doesn’t have any chaos to absorb. You banished your sister to the moon, it can’t be that hard to do to a statue.”

“That’s… actually a good idea. But that only solves one problem. The Tree of Harmony guarded this forest, managed it, and kept it from producing even more and more dangerous monsters. Now it’s gone. Who is going to protect my little ponies from everything that is to come? You?”

“Of course! I’ll put my life on the line, every time it’s needed.”

“It won’t be enough. You’re not the right mare for the job.”

“And who is? Who did you think was going to come save the day?”

“Twilight Sparkle.”

“The librarian?!”

“My student. She was going to use the power of friendship-”

“She barely knows what a friend is! She’s brilliant in her own right, and I’m glad to count her among my friends, but she’s the least friendly pony I’ve ever met.”

Celestia quieted down a bit before sheepishly offering “I was going to make her take lessons…”

“Who on Gaia, Equis or any other world needs friendship lessons?!”

Interlude 1: The Longest Day

“This is the day that never ends. Yes it goes on and on my friends. Some ponies started living it, not knowing what it was. And they’ll just keep on living it forever just because-” Sweetie Belle continued.

“Stop!” Diamond Tiara demanded.

“Hey, you can’t boss her around, just because you have that tiara on your head,” Scootaloo yelled back.

“But that song is just so annoying! It was kind of funny the first time through, but it’s lost its charm,” Diamond Tiara complained.

“...actually I have to agree with you,” Scootaloo confessed. “All in favor of never singing that song again?”

Five fillies raised their hooves, while Spike raised a clawed hand.

“Sweetie Belle, you’re voting against your own song?” Spike asked in surprise.

“What can I say? I agree with Diamond on this one.”

Silence prevailed for nearly a minute.

“So now what?” Applebloom asked, breaking the silence in the clubhouse.

“It’s so… hot,” Sweetie Belle complained.

“It wouldn’t be if we met in my daddy’s air-conditioned house,” Diamond Tiara pointed out.

“Wouldn’t that mean we couldn’t play or do anything fun?” Scootaloo said.

“We aren’t playing now,” Silver Spoon countered.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Applebloom asked as an idea hit her.

“Doubtful,” Diamond Tiara said. “What are you thinking.”

“We all have these fancy squirtguns. We just need ta fill ‘em up with water,” Applebloom pointed out.

“What is that supposed to accomplish?” Diamond questioned.

Everyone but Silver Spoon looked at her strangely. Then Silver Spoon caught on and raised an eyebrow.

“What?”

“She means we could have a squirt gun fight.”

“How… lower class,” Diamond Tiara objected.

“Are upper class ponies not allowed ta have fun?” Applebloom said as she started leading the way out the door of the clubhouse. “Besides, if anypony questions you, just say it was trainin’. We will be gettin’ better with our aim, and dodging, and who knows if we’ll need ta load up the weed killer again some day.”

“Fine…”

“This is just perfect,” Flash Sentry said with a cheerful grin as he approached the new recruit to relieve her of duty. The sun had been out much longer than usual, lately. Still up when he went to bed, already risen when he got up to prepare to relieve the night guard. As far north as he was stationed, the extra warmth was quite welcome. He tolerated the cold better than most ponies, but he could still enjoy an early hint of summer.

“Speak for yourself,” the thestral mare groused, lifting her sunglasses to rub her eyes a moment, careful to set the glasses in place again before she reopened her eyes. “Is this your princess’ vengeance for the whole ‘eternal night’ thing? Because that never actually happened, even if we were kind of rooting for it back then.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Dusk Watcher,” Flash Sentry chided. “Neither of our princesses would allow this to happen, not on purpose.”

“So, they’re dead then?”

“That’s a bit much to assume,” Flash said with a frown. “I’m sure someone’s taking care of the situation as we speak. Let’s just watch the border.”

“For what… more ice and snow?” the thestral asked as Flash came up beside her, putting on his own sunglasses to protect his eyes from the glare of the North. “The Crystal Empire has been gone longer than Luna has, and the empty terrain where it once was isn’t exactly a threat.”

“No… but that might be,” he said as he caught sight of movement in the distance. Something was kicking up snow in a large, broad cloud on the horizon. “What do you know about what’s beyond the Crystal Empire?”

“Nothing, why? What’s up there?” Dusk asked, getting a bit nervous.

“Yakyakistan,” Flash Sentry said. “I’d better put on my armor. The cycle of the sun isn’t perfect. If things aren’t perfect, yaks get mad. Yaks always get mad when things aren’t perfect!”

“Belay that, Corporal,” Captain Aegis ordered, even as he strapped on his own armor mid-stride. “You need to travel fast and light. Go to Canterlot, tell them we need reinforcements before the day is done.”

“No hurries then,” Dusk joked. But nopony laughed.

“You’ve been a very bad mare!” Fluttershy accused. The pointing hoof just added on to the dreaded power of the Stare. But her victim met her eyes unflinchingly.

“You were cruel when you didn’t need to be. Rubbing salt in the wounds metaphorically is one thing, but to do it literally? You should be ashamed of yourself! What about those poor fillies? They had to see you acting like that! What is that going to do to them? If they ever act out like that, you’ll know just who to blame, now won’t you? Don’t you give me that look.”

Fluttershy finally stopped the stare and looked down at the ground, unable to maintain eye contact. “I’m sorry,” she muttered, tears starting to well in her eyes. “I didn’t mean to, but I just couldn’t help it.”

But the mirror didn’t answer, and now that she wasn’t looking up at it anymore, she couldn’t see how sorry it looked.

But Angel could, and he set a comforting paw on his friend and master for a moment, before the anger overtook him. He knew it wasn’t her fault. He knew someone else had made her act out of character, and he knew who it was. While she sunk deeper into self pity, the bunny headed off into the woods to take care of something.

Despite her objections, and even despite not being the best shot in the group, Diamond Tiara laughed happily as she pranced about the woods with her friends, launching arcing shots of water between the trees as she did her best to avoid return fire.

Okay, that was a lie. She gave a token effort to avoid it. As much as the immediate touch of the cool liquid made her squeal, the benefits of getting wet on this long, hot day were undeniable. And while she wouldn’t press anyone on the point, she was pretty sure at least half of her own shots were hitting because the fillies on the receiving end were letting themselves get hit.

Spike, on the other hand, seemed to do quite well in the heat, and was nearly untouched, every splash against his scales truly earned. Most required getting very close and consequently quite wet, so that he simply couldn’t dodge, but Scootaloo had managed a few good shots, sneaking out from behind trees behind him while he was distracted by another filly and hitting him from behind.

All too soon, the water ran out, however, and the laughing children fell to the ground in a heap, looking up at the nearly cloudless sky and sighing.

“I wonder why there’s so little cloud cover,” Spike said. “You’d think they’d roll out the carpet to give us a break from all this heat.”

“I heard they’re having too much trouble keeping the clouds from dissipating,” Scootaloo said. “It’s even worse than in the summer. They need to focus on keeping the load-bearing clouds in good shape, can’t spare the ponies to maintain the other clouds, much less roll out more.”

“Good thing we rescued the princesses so soon,” Sweetie Belle commented. “They’ll be able to bring night back, as soon as they recover.”

“Well duh, that’s what their job is,” Diamond Tiara said. “It might be nice if they make it night a little early, in fact.”

The others murmured their agreement, falling silent for a moment before an offended gasp shattered the silence.

“Diamond Tiara! What are you doing rolling around in the mud with those blank flanked commoners! You get away from them this instant!” Spoiled Rich demanded.

Chastised, the filly climbed to her hooves and started toward her mother, head low, even as she just noticed the mud clinging to her uniform, beginning to bake on from the endless noon.

“That’s right, young lady. Let’s get you home and get you bathed. Then we’ll get rid of this filthy thing and-”

Diamond glanced back and saw her friends, new and old, all looking sad to see her go. When had they become her friends? It wasn’t that long ago she was taunting them for being blank flanks. When her father had helped her muscle her way into their group, she had intended to take it over, probably even kick them out of it when she had the chance.

Resolved filled her as she stamped the ground once, coming to a firm start. “No! These are my friends, and more than that, they’re heroes! We just helped rescue the princesses a few hours back! Fluttershy even said the herbicide we gave them delivered the killing blow on the monster that foalnapped them!”

“If they’re so great, why don’t they have their cutie marks yet, hmm?”

“Because they haven’t found their destinies yet. If rescuing a pair of princesses wasn’t enough to earn their marks, then you can bet what does will be the stuff of legends! And I’m going to see it for myself, because I’m going to be right there with them when it happens,” Diamond insisted. “Now if you’ll excuse me, the Elements of Greatness are going to go have a meeting and do some more training. I’ll be home shortly after sunset, and when I get there you can thank me that you even have a sunset.”

As the tiara-wearing filly started back toward her friends, her mother brought her up short once again with a dire threat. “You come with me this instant, young lady, or I- I’ll disinherit you! You want to live like a commoner? That can be arranged!”

The other Elements of Greatness exchanged gasps and looks. Silver Spoon adjusted her glasses sadly before slowly starting to walk toward her best friends’ mother, knowing what Diamond would choose, what any sane filly would choose.

Diamond trembled with anger, eyes darting a bit as she thought about the decision that had been forced on her. She looked over each of her friends one after the other, ending with Silver Spoon. Even as the fellow foal of wealth came to join her, it was obvious she was as broken about it as Diamond was. Or would have been.

“Keep your money,” Diamond spit out, without even turning toward her mother. “You don’t have anything else worth a buck.” The venom in her words struck everyone, but most of all her mother. Diamond hesitated only a second before starting off toward the distant clubhouse, Silver Spoon and then the others falling into her wake. What was said could not be unsaid. Both mother and daughter knew that.

Spoiled Rich let her indignation be the only emotion to show on her face until she had turned and made a good distance herself, rounding a corner before the tears could so much as well in her eyes. When had her daughter gotten so strong, so fiercely independent? She would be proud, if the filly weren’t so wrong.

“Caddie, relax,” Shining Armor insisted. She obeyed at least as far as laying still so he could rub her back and shoulders.

“I’ll relax when the sun sets,” she countered. “Oh, Shiny, what if they really are hurt badly? Or worse? I haven’t even been coronated yet… We haven’t even made us public knowledge yet. Have you even told your family yet?”

Shining laughed nervously in a way that practically served as a confession. “I will. Soon. Promise.”

“I love you Shining, but we are not letting the first they hear of me be an announcement that a foal is on the way,” Cadance said firmly.

“I wouldn’t do that to you!” Shining insisted. “We’ll get married first. That will solve both problems at once. Will that help you relax?”

“How would that help me relax?! Oh there’s so much to plan. A venue, a dress, bridesmaids, catering. A date?!” Cadance seemed in a near panic of excitement. “But I can’t start planning any of that until we know if Celestia and Luna are alright. If they aren’t… how will we ever find time for any of that?”

A knocking on the door interrupted their discussion. “Who could it be at a time like this?” Shining asked, even as he got up to step out into the hall and answer the door. “Yes? Who is-”

After several seconds of thinking about her upcoming wedding and/or emergency coronation, Cadance realized Shining Armor wasn’t saying anything. “Shiny? Who is it?”

A quiet whisper was impossible for her to make out, until Shining Armor repeated it absently. “It’s the most beautiful mare in the world…”

Cadance huffed as she started toward the door. “That’s a lousy thing to say to your fiance. If it’s anypony there other than Princess Celestia, you’re going to have some ex-”

Green magic silenced her voice before she could scream.

When she reached the clubhouse, Diamond Tiara barely made it past the entrance before slumping to the floor, legs splayed in every direction as the adrenaline wore off all at once. “I guess this is where I live now…”

“I’ll sneak you food, as often as I can,” Silver Spoon offered, sitting down a bit more gracefully at her friend’s side.

“And I’ll sneak you apples,” Applebloom said.

Diamond started to sneer reflexively at the offer of such common faire, then replaced it with a smile. Now that she had been disinherited, there was no shame in enjoying one of the tastiest foods in Ponyville openly. “Thanks, Applebloom. And thanks Silver. I guess now that I’m a commoner myself I should just enjoy what I can get…”

“You’re not a commoner,” Spike objected. “You’re an Element. And there’s nothing common about that. I had my doubts about you when you first tried to join-”

“We all did,” Applebloom confessed.

“But you proved yourself out there to be more loyal than Rainbow Dash, more generous than Rarity, and more brave than Cloud Strife herself,” Spike concluded.

“Braver than Cloud? It’s not like she was going to kill me or put me in the hospital,” Diamond said.

“No, but she was threatening to end your future in a different way,” Sweetie Belle said.

“Cloud goes into every battle expecting to win,” Spike said. “She’s stronger than you. Faster, more powerful, and better with a weapon. And she expects that to be enough to carry her through and protect her friends. She knows the risks she faces, but she expects to overcome them. But you made your choice knowing full well what it was going to cost you. And that takes a lot of guts.”

“I’d say you finally earned that tiara,” Sweetie Belle offered.

“Of course you can’t borrow some flour,” Pinkie Pie said. “That would be silly! But you can have some! We won’t want it back when you’re done with it. Unless you give it to us in cake form! Or pie form! Or-”

“Agreed,” Silver Spoon said. “Now, may I?”

“Here ya go!” Pinkie said, tossing her a small bag with a flick of her neck. “Just don’t tell the Cakes I gave away more ingredients.~ But do tell me how well your pie party turns out!”

“Right. ‘Party’...”

“Right! Par~tay!~” Pinkie exclaimed.

When the filly finally left, Pinkie Pie slowly sank beneath the counter, riding the elevator down to the secret Party Cave.

“Whew. Just in time, too!” she said, as one of her cameras barely caught the tail end of Luna’s tail as she headed off into the woods. “Today’s the day that today stops being day! I can feel it!”

She quickly began locking in the final details. “Venue, set! Confetti, locked and loaded! Streamers, ready to unroll! Now then… all we need is to hire the DJ and start baking the food for the Aren’t You Glad It’s Finally Night Again, Nightime Funtime Block Party!”

The Elements of Greatness watched the sunset together from the deck of their clubhouse, bellies quite full of fresh apple pie.

“Thanks, Silver Spoon. You sure know how to bake. You might be even better than Pinkie Pie,” Scootaloo complimented.

“Well, making fine cuisine is my special talent,” Silver Spoon said proudly. “Applebloom’s family’s apples make fine ingredients, though. You can’t make great food without great ingredients.”

“Applebloom!” Applejack called out in the distance. “Time for bed!”

“I’d better go,” Applebloom said sadly. “Are you gonna be okay, DT?”

Diamond glanced at the old sleeping bag Scootaloo had given her, sitting in the corner. “I’ll have to be.”

“I need to get back to the library,” Spike said. “Once I walk Sweetie Belle home.”

Sweetie rewarded him with a quick peck on the cheek before heading for the exit herself. “We’ll be back tomorrow, now that there is a tomorrow.”

“I need to get home too, before my parents start worrying,” Scootaloo said.

“You have parents?” Spike said, sounding surprised.

“Yes, Spike. They’re just… very, very, very busy,” the pegasus said. “And my foalsitter and I have a truce. She doesn’t rat me out for being gone all day, and I don’t rat her out for spending the whole day with her magazines, not watching me.”

Sweetie Belle giggled, while Applebloom shook her head disapprovingly.

“I’ll stay with you for the night,” Silver Spoon offered.

Diamond considered it. It was really tempting to have company, especially this first night. “No. You go home, where it’s warm. We don’t even have a second sleeping bag. Maybe next time, if you can bring one for yourself.”

Silver hesitated, but the determined look in Diamond’s eye earned a nod of respect. “Alright, Diamond…” she held up a hoof inviting her to bump it with her own.

“Bump, bump, sugar-lump, rump,” the two old friends said, as they bumped one hoof, then the other, finishing with a collision of their cutie marks.

“I’ll miss you,” Diamond confessed.

“You’ll see me tomorrow,” Silver insisted.

Like mother, like daughter. Diamond managed to keep the tears out of her eyes until the others were out of sight, heading to their nice warm homes, and their welcoming families.

It was kind of amazing how seldom earth ponies and unicorns looked up. With how many people could fly, especially the local pegasus population, but plenty of others such as griffons and many dragons, it didn’t really makes sense.

But it served Rainbow Dash well enough, especially when she was in a pranking mood. She carefully stalked Prince Blueblood, keeping a cloud with her to hide on should he ever actually look his way, but it wasn’t proving necessary. He seemed even less inclined to look up than most.

This was just a scouting mission. She wanted to learn more about him so she could set up a proper prank or three. Knowing where he would be and what he would do was essential to setting up an ambush. For example, she now knew his room number at the hotel, so she could sneak a colony of ants into his bed later. He hadn’t bothered to latch his window, which was practically begging somepony with wings to come prank him. She knew he liked to hang out with Filthy and Spoiled Rich, which wasn’t as useful. Those two never could take a joke and had the resources to make a pony miserable in petty retaliation.

And now, with the sun finally set for the first time in four days, he was heading into the middle of town, not toward his hotel. That was interesting. He walked right up to Carousel Boutique and-

That was close. She barely hid behind the cloud in time. While ground ponies didn’t often look up, it was routinely part of actively looking around. When she dared to look back over the edge of the cloud cover, he was gone, the door to the boutique quietly shutting.

“What could a stallion like him possibly want in a dress shop?” Rainbow asked, furrowing her brow. Ideas started to form in her head. Maybe he was a crossdresser, and could be humorously outed in a humiliating way? Or maybe he wasn’t, and could be made to wear a dress against his will somehow?

Despite her own experience, despite her friend’s role in that experience, and despite the reason she was singling out this particular stallion for pranking, Rainbow Dash was not prepared for what she witnessed when she snuck down to peek in through the window.

“What are you doing up there, Rainbow Dash?” Spike inquired.

The sudden splaying of her wings in shock caused her to lose balance and tumble to the ground before she could regain her senses. “Spike? Sweetie Belle! Do not go in there.”

“But… it’s my home,” Sweetie Belle said. “And it’s after dark, time for me to go home and go to bed.”

“Well, I… I set up a pretty elaborate prank for Pr- your sister. And I don’t want you getting caught up in it. So let’s just go somewhere else now, okay?” Rainbow said nervously.

Spike wasn’t buying it. “You’re not being hon-”

Sweetie shushed him with a hoof on his mouth. “Alright, Rainbow. We can go someplace else. Maybe I could stay over with Spike at the library.”

“Right. The library. Perfect idea,” Rainbow said.

They made it most of the way there before stopping short. Cloud was heading to the library, with a grim look on her face and a pair of injured alicorn princesses trailing behind them.

“On second thought… maybe you should stay somewhere else… Fluttershy. Surely the Element of Kindness won’t turn around two youngsters in need,” Rainbow Dash suggested.

Change was good. Chaos was all about change. So any kind of change was a net positive in his book. Not that he could read a book right now if he had one.

The first change Discord experienced after coming to stone was the mysterious snapping off of his petrified antler. Losing body parts wasn’t his favorite kind of change, but now it was starting to become a relatively fond memory. It felt like it had been days between the petrification and the dismemberment, but the sun hadn’t moved a degree, so it was impossible to know if it really had been days, or just an hour that seemed to stretch into eternity. That was one of the drawbacks of using the Plunderseeds.

When he had created the plant monsters, and set them to capture the princesses, all royalty really just to be thorough, and devour the Tree of Harmony, he hadn’t really thought through any possible repercussions of his plan. He didn’t honestly expect it to be as much of a success as it was, though he also hadn’t expected it to take over a millennium to come to fruition. The Tree of Harmony must have been holding it at bay all this time. Until something had tapped its power enough to let them sprout.

He wished he could credit the plant monsters with enough loyalty to free him from his prior stone prison. In truth, it was a lucky side effect of being positioned in the Palace garden. When the plants had foalnapped the Princesses, the panicking ponies had naturally run around the gardens screaming in terror as they tried desperately to determine which foul flower was the culprit. Oh, such delicious chaos! More than enough for him to finally free himself.

This latest change was at least as dramatic, but much less delicious. First, the sun finally set, the cool of night beginning to reach his stony surface. But then it had been swiftly replaced with a new form of cold. This new cold didn’t sap his heat out of him as quickly, despite the absence of heat around him.

It took him a while to realize why. He didn’t have the scientific background to reason it through logically. What he did have was a sense of Chaos. And now that sense no longer detected the tiny amount of ambient chaos that came from the random eddies of air around him all the time. It was a level of ‘silence’ he had never experienced before in his life.

Yet, even in his own mind he couldn’t hear himself scream.

He just hoped, wherever they were, his antler and his voice were having a better time than he was.

The sobs persisted through the night, even in her sleep. But they final stilled as a blanket, instilled with her own familiar scent, wrapped itself around her, tucking her in tightly. There was a second familiar scent on it, a warm, loving, masculine scent, one her instincts would never forget.

The bearer of that scent leaned in carefully, kissing her ever so softly. Not enough to wake her. But enough to banish all bad thoughts from her dreams. “Good night, my little Tiara. I’m so proud of you.”

She woke for a moment, looking around as if she expected to see someone, but nopony was there by the time her eyes had opened. So she yawned and snuggled in tighter against the blanket before falling back to sleep.

Chapter 25: Stare Master

“Hey, Loyalty, where you going?”

Rainbow Dash paused and looked around, surprised by a relatively unfamiliar voice calling her that. When she saw the pegasus filly coming her way, dressed in a uniform that resembled her own, and riding around on a scooter, it took a moment for recognition to sink in. “Oh, hey, you’re that pegasus with Elements of Greatness. What was your name again?”

“It’s Scootaloo, the Element of Awesome,” the filly said, hopping up a moment to spin her scooter in a quick 360 before landing back on it and bringing it to a stop. “Hey, Sweetie Belle, Spike, what are you both doing up still?”

“Honestly, I’m not really sure,” Spike admitted. “Rainbow insisted Sweetie couldn’t go home for some reason, and then when we were almost to the library, she decided we couldn’t go there, either. At this rate there won’t be anywhere left to go but the Everfree.”

“I saw the princesses heading into the library, and they looked really serious. I don’t think we should be interrupting whatever they’re planning to do,” Rainbow said. “They’d call for us if they needed us. Until then, let them do what they need to do.”

“That makes sense,” Sweetie Belle said, “but that doesn’t explain why I couldn’t go home. Spike could spend the night with me there, if he needs to.”

Rainbow blushed, her cyan fur matching the reddest part of her mane, as she rubbed the back of her head. “That seems like it’d be the worst possible idea. Look, I’m taking you two to Fluttershy’s, where you’ll be nice and safe and won’t see anything that can’t be unseen. It’s just for tonight… I’ll make sure of that.”

The anger in her last sentence surprised the fillies, enough to keep them from being willing to question it. “Can I come along?” Scootaloo asked. “I’d love to spend a bit of time with the awesomest pony in town, learn a few tricks of the trade so to speak.”

“I thought you said you’re the Element of Awesome,” Rainbow teased.

“I am, but I’m still learning. Growing into the role,” Scootaloo countered.

“Aren’t we all…” the older mare said, before shaking her head to clear the thoughts. “But sure. I’m sure ‘Shy can find room for three.”

A short time later, the mare was knocking on her best friend’s door, as well as calling out to her.

“Yes? Who is it?” the resident asked quietly, almost too quietly to make out through the door.

“Hey, Flutters, it’s me,” Rainbow announced. “And I’ve got a couple fillies and a dragon who need a place to stay for the night.”

“Oh, my!” Fluttershy exclaimed, before opening the door. “What happened? Did their houses collapse?”

“No, nothing like that. The Princesses are at the library, so Spike needs to stay out of their way, and… well, I’ll tell you why Sweetie Belle can’t be at Carousel Boutique right now when they… while they all go brush their teeth for bed,” Rainbow said. “Upstairs, you three. Now.”

“But we didn’t bring our toothbrushes,” Sweetie Belle pointed out.

“You can use one of my unopened ones,” Fluttershy said. “Just not one of the orange ones with the carrots on it. Pick any of the others that feels like the right size for you.”

“You keep a bunch of spare tooth brushes for the animals you take care of?” Spike inquired, earning an affirmative nod.

“Not every wild animal has good tooth maintenance habits,” Fluttershy pointed out.

The present members of the Elements of Greatness made their way up the stairs, before settling in, by wordless agreement, to listen in from the top of the staircase, tucked just out of sight from below.

“So what’s wrong with Rarity’s? You didn’t prank her again, did you?”

“No, not this time, I swear… though, now that I think about it, I may have told Sweetie Belle I did,” Rainbow Dash confessed. “I was actually scouting out Prince Blueblood, getting a good feel for what kind of prank would get him best, when I caught him going into the boutique, just a little after sunset.”

“I’m sure there was a perfectly innocent-”

“I saw them bucking, through the window,” Rainbow said. “Impossible to mistake, especially from that angle. I can’t believe he would do that to Cloud. I really want to believe he would, that he’s just totally unworthy of her, but I really can’t. And Rarity?! Why?”

“Oh my,” was all Fluttershy could manage for a while, aside from blushing. “You were right to bring them here, and I see why you couldn’t tell them. Don’t worry, I’ll take great care of them. But what are you going to do, Rainbow Dash?”

“I’m going to tell her, of course,” Dash declared, before hesitating. “Of course, she’ll probably think it’s another jealousy fit, possibly a prank, and even if she believes me, she might let that color her view of it.”

“She was pretty frustrated with your jealousy when you two were still dating. Still, she does deserve to know the truth,” Fluttershy said.

“There’s only one way. I need to lead Cloud to them while they’re going at it, let her catch them red-hooved. That’s the only way she’ll believe me,” Rainbow said.

Upstairs, the children pulled away quietly, having heard enough. They slipped back into the bedroom, quietly closing the door behind them.

“Well, at least that explains why you couldn’t go home,” Scootaloo offered.

“It does? Somepony care to explain it to me?” Spike asked.

“Has Twilight not explained the ‘birds and the bees’ to you?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“I’ve had an extensive education on ornithology and entomology,” Spike said, “but I don’t see what either of those has to do with ‘bucking’. So why was the Prince kicking your sister, and what does that have to do with wildlife?”

Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle exchanged looks. “Okay, Spikey, you live in library,” Sweetie Belle said. “I’m going to need you to look up some books, and you might need to sneak them past Twilight if she’s that unwilling to teach you the basics…”

“And, you think it was my destiny to be the Element of Magic,” Twilight asked the princesses.

“Your cutie mark was the third symbol on the trunk of the Tree of Harmony, just above ‘Tia’s and my own,” Luna confirmed. “We’ve known your time would come since long before you were born.”

“Of course, we didn’t know anything about you until I saw you at the entrance exam for my academy. But of course I instantly recognized your cutie mark. And when you actually succeeded at hatching a dragon egg, something nopony was supposed to be able to do, it just confirmed my suspicions,” Celestia offered.

“I don’t think anyone really disagrees that I wasn’t really ‘supposed’ to be here,” I offered. “So when I went in your place to the old castle and recovered the Element of Magic, and it bonded to me instead of you…”

“It set off a chain of events, derailing destiny,” Twilight offered. “That sounds pretty serious but… I’m not sure I buy it. If destiny is that easy to derail, how can we really call it ‘destiny’? It’s just one possibility, and maybe not even a likely one.”

The princesses both looked at Twilight aghast, while I showed my curiosity. “What are you suggesting, Twilight?”

“Well, let’s consider this logically,” Twilight suggested. “The Tree of Harmony was marked with three symbols; the sun, moon, and a star. All have a common theme of celestial bodies, so it isn’t surprising to see them together, and could easily have some other meaning. The happen to be the same shape as our respective cutie marks, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they are linked by anything other than a common artist, in this case magic itself. We know that two of the three symbols match 2 of the eight Bearers of the Elements of Harmony, past and present, meaning that it is neither necessary nor sufficient for a pony to have their cutie mark on the tree to become a bearer, right? None of my friend’s marks were there, after all.”

“But Starswirl himself…” Luna began, then faltered.

“Starswirl the Bearded told you I was destined to bear one of the Elements?” Twilight asked.

“Well, no, not as such. But he showed us the Tree. And the symbols, matching our cutie marks…” Luna tried.

“And the result was…” Twilight prompted.

“The Elements bound to the two of us, at least at the time,” Celestia said. “He… really didn’t tell us much more about it.”

“So, you’ve come to your own conclusions,” Twilight stated. “In any case, this ‘destiny’ didn’t come to pass. And now the Tree of Harmony is gone, but we’re still alive. So what do we do now?”

“The Tree helped keep the Everfree Forest under control. Without it, we can expect more and more dangerous monsters to come out of it. As such, Ponyville is the front lines for that new danger,” Princess Celestia explained. “The Elements of Harmony will lose power, and won’t be able to deal with the big dangers like they have in the past.”

“So what you’re saying is that you need an elite fighting force to protect Ponyville in particular, and the rest of Equestria, now more than ever,” I offered. “The question is, do you think we should expand our numbers to prepare for worse to come, or just focus on training, equipping, and preparing the members we have now?”

“Cloud’s right,” Luna said. “We need to keep a strong force stationed here. I will send some of my thestrals here to guard the town during the night. You should at least meet with them, and get to know each other well, as you will be guarding each other’s sleep. But whether they should be part of the Elements I will leave for you to work out with them.”

I waved dismissively. “They should probably remain their own group, but I’ll work with their leader. I’m sure we can both benefit from training together.” I shivered, distracted a moment. “Does anypony feel a breeze?”

“Oh, sorry, looks like the front door is ajar,” Twilight apologized, closing it with her magic. “Sorry about that. Anyways, it will be rather nice to see a thestral in person! I’ve only read accounts of them from before your banishment!”

“I’m sure they will be pleased to make your acquaintance as well,” Luna said. “Be sure to treat them well. I have heard distressing word of them suffering terrible prejudices due to their uncommon appearance.”

“Why, what do they look like?” I inquired.

“They are typically darker of fur, have wings more resembling those of bats than birds, along with sharp fangs and slitted eyes,” Luna explained.

“But still basically ponies?” I checked, and Luna nodded. At that I shrugged. And then someone knocked on the door.

Twilight opened it with her magic, admitting Rarity. “Hi Rarity, come on in. What brings you by so late at night?”

“Oh my, I didn’t mean to interrupt a royal affair,” Rarity said as she stepped inside, bowing to the Princesses.

“What is it, Generosity?” I asked. “Did you need something, or just visiting?”

“I do need something, I admit. Has anypony seen my little sister, Sweetie Belle? I thought she would have been home by now, but I haven’t seen mane nor tail of the little darling,” Rarity said.

“No, I haven’t,” Twilight said, before thinking more. “Actually, I haven’t seen Spike this evening either. Do you think we should go look for them?”

“The rest of our discussion can wait for another day,” Princess Celestia said. “Indeed, I expect we are needed back at Canterlot, quite desperately by now. We will keep in touch. And Cloud… thank you for rescuing us. I’m sorry for my outburst, earlier. Regardless of anything else, we do owe you great thanks.”

I shook my head. “If I can save someone from harm, I’ll do it every time,” I promised.

“I… rather expected a comment about money,” Celestia noted.

I laughed. “I guess I really let the mercenary thing get to my head. But I finally remembered who I was, who I am. And the money isn’t what’s important. Right now finding our missing filly and dragon is.”

The Princesses took to the skies, heading back to their own responsibilities, while Rarity, Twilight and I headed off to look for Spike and Sweetie Belle.

“Let’s start with their clubhouse,” I suggested. “Unless somepony has a better idea?”

No one did, so we headed out for the woods, where the Elements of Greatness had built their hangout. The moon and stars only provided so much illumination, so we relied on unicorn magic and my Light materia to pierce the darkness.

When we reached the clubhouse, there were no signs of light from within, so we weren’t expecting much. But when we went to take a look through the window, we saw a small figure sleeping within, snoring gently.

“Sweetie Belle?!” Rarity asked loudly.

“Whuh, huh?” the filly asked drowsily, before sitting up enough for the blanket to reveal her upper half. The pink pony was most certainly not Sweetie Belle. “Whosat?”

“Diamond Tiara, have you seen Sweetie Belle? She hasn’t gotten home yet,” I inquired.

The filly yawned and got to her hooves. “Really? She said she was going home, a little after sundown. She never made it?”

“Did you say a little after sundown?” Rarity asked, before giving a nervous laugh.

“Yeah, why?”

“No reason,” Rarity deflected. “Let’s just keep looking for her.”

“I’ll come with you,” Diamond Tiara offered, climbing to her hooves before giving her blanket a puzzled look.

I nodded to her and we started heading out. “What about Spike? He hasn’t gotten home yet either.”

“Well, he was walking her home,” Diamond said as we reached the ground. “Look, here’s their tracks.”

Keeping the glowing sphere from the Light materia close to the ground, we followed along in their footsteps through the woods.

“What were you doing sleeping in the clubhouse anyways,” I asked.

Diamond looked downcast, but didn’t want to answer at first. “Who do you choose when it’s between family and friends?” she asked quietly after a time.

Before I could come up with an answer, a noise in the bushes caught our attention. With a loud “bicock,” a chicken-like head appeared from out of the foliage. I met its eyes and froze, unable to look away. I tried to reach for my sword, but my movements were getting increasingly sluggish.

“Oh, buck no!” Diamond Dust said. “Come on. Summon me! Summon John, even. Do something!”

“Oh, this is just too deliciously ironic,” John cackled. “Karmic payback is a bitch, isn’t it?”

I heard ponies crying out in alarm behind me. I saw a pair of needles fly through the air toward the fowl before dropping suddenly to the ground, accompanied by the first half of another cry of alarm. And finally, my last hope, I heard small hoofsteps running into the distance.

Diamond Tiara wasn’t sure which way she was running. Away from the chicken-headed monster, that much was for sure. But beyond that? When she finally spotted light up ahead, she turned and ran toward it. It was a house, and almost nauseatingly quaint at that. With no other homes or buildings nearby, aside from a chicken coop outside.

She got up to the door and knocked vigorously, tears welling in her eyes. “Hello? Anypony? Somepony help!”

A pair of pegasus mares opened the door. The tears slowed her down in identifying them, but once she heard the soft voice of the first she recognized them. “Hello? Oh, dear. What’s wrong?”

“Fluttershy? Oh, thank Harmony I found you. The others are in trouble. Miss Strife, Miss Sparkle, and Miss… Rarity,” Diamond Tiara said, hesitating a moment as she realized she didn’t know Rarity’s last name, or if she even had one. “They’ve been turned to stone by a chicken!”

“What? Chickens can’t turn ponies to stone,” Rainbow Dash said. “Are you pulling our hooves?”

“Chickens can’t, but a cockatrice can,” Fluttershy said. “We’ve got to rescue them! Oh, but what about Spike and the fillies upstairs? We better tell them we’re going out.”

“Then they’ll want to come with us,” Rainbow Dash groaned.

“Well, we need to check on them anyways. They’ve been brushing their teeth an awfully long time,” Fluttershy said as she made her way upstairs.

“As if. They’re probably just running the water as a distraction from whatever mischief they’re up to,” Rainbow speculated as she followed.

Rainbow was wrong, in that the water was at least not running. None of the tooth brushes had been even picked up. But a variety of sheets and blankets had been tied into a rope and used to escape out the window.

“Oh no… what do we do?” Fluttershy asked.

“We should find the Element of Awesome, and those other two, as soon as possible,” Rainbow said. “The others are turned to stone, right? So they won’t be going anywhere. They’ll still be there for us to help in the morning.

“Um, Rainbow Dash? Cockatrices eat their victims while they’re in stone form,” Fluttershy informed.

“Oh, buck me!” Rainbow said. “Filly! What was your name? And more importantly, can you lead us to where they were?”

“I’m Diamond Tiara, Element of Leadership,” Diamond introduced. “And yeah, I think so. Just bring some light.”

“Figures you’d share a name with her,” Rainbow Dash muttered. “Alright, let’s go!”

“Cloud, can you hear me in there?” Rainbow Dash asked. She had rushed ahead of the others when she caught sight of us, and was now occupying my rather stationary field of view.

“Ten bits says she ends up putting you in her garden as a decoration,” John said.

“Do you even have ten bits?” Diamond Dust inquired.

But a loud squawk drew her attention away from me, and soon she was lacking her usual bright colors, her stone form falling out of the air and clunking down before me.

“You!” Fluttershy said much louder than I had ever heard her speak. “Just who do you think you are, going around turning others to stony?!” she demanded.

A dismayed squawk echoed out as the beast turned to stare down the furious pegasus.

“Woah, look at little miss butterflies!” Diamond Dust said, clearly impressed.

“10 bits says she turns him to stone with that stare,” John bet.

“10 bits sure seems to say a lot of things. That the name of your imaginary friend?” Diamond inquired.

“You caught me,” John conceded.

“You should be ashamed of yourself,” Fluttershy berated. “I have a mind to find your mother and tell her what you've been up to, young man. Now you go over there, and turn my friends back to normal, and don't ever let me catch you doing this again. Do you understand me?” The sheer force of will behind those words made me want to obey, and I wasn’t even the one she was staring at.

And more importantly, it worked. The monster, whose chicken like head was atop a snakelike body, quickly hurried from one of us to the other, undoing his petrifying magic before rushing off into the woods to escape Fluttershy’s wrath.

“Thanks for the save, Kindness,” I said. “Now we need to get back to tracking down Sweetie Belle and Spike.”

“Yes, and don’t forget Scootaloo,” Fluttershy said. “And how did you know they ran away?”

“Ran away?” I asked.

“Yes, they were staying in my cottage, but for some reason they made a bedsheet rope and escaped out the window. Oh… I hope they’re okay!” Fluttershy said.

“Not to suggest anything untoward, darling, but why were they in your cottage to begin with,” Rarity asked.

“Rainbow Dash brought them over, because-” Fluttershy began, before covering her mouth.

“Because I caught you and Prince Blueballs banging just as your sister was about to come in!” Rainbow Dash accused.

Rarity sputtered incoherently, blushing and looking back and forth between me and Rainbow Dash. “Well, I never!”

“Rarity,” I said calmly, “did you have sex with Prince Blueblood? Yes or no.”

She struggled a bit longer before sighing, and looking at the ground. “Yes. But you don’t-”

“Let’s go find your sister,” I said, and started off toward Fluttershy’s cottage.

“You didn’t let me exp-” Rarity began but I held up a hand.

“We’re not having this conversation tonight,” I said. “You, Blueblood and I are going to have a private conversation about it soon, perhaps tomorrow, sometime when there aren’t children missing and unaccounted for.”

“You’re right darling,” Rarity conceded. “Let’s go find the dears. Oh, this is all my fault.”

“Fix first, blame later,” I said.

The trail from Fluttershy’s window was enough to take us to town, but the tracks were impossible to follow on the cobblestones in town. That left the prospect of going door to door, asking ponies all night where they might be. We had ruled out Sweet Apple Acres, as it was the wrong direction entirely, so we decided to start with Silver Spoon’s home.

“What brings you here so late?” the filly’s father asked with a yawn when he answered the door. “And why aren’t you home in bed, young lady?” he asked Diamond Tiara particularly.

“We’re looking for some of her friends. Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo and Spike,” I said. “Have they come by here tonight?”

“No, no. Not unless they snuck in. Sorry, I can’t help,” the stallion said.

“Well, maybe you can. Do you mind if Diamond stays the night?” I asked.

“Of course not, if your parents don’t mind,” he said.

“They… well, my mom… disowned me today,” Diamond Tiara confessed.

“What?! Oh… oh my. Come in, dear. We’ll certainly not turn away our daughter’s best friend in her time of need,” the stallion said.

I was shook by it myself. I hadn’t guessed the depth of the issue. I only knew it wasn’t a time for her to be sleeping in a cold, windowless clubhouse. “Thank you, sir,” I managed. “Diamond… sleep well.”

She gave the stallion a firm, grateful hug, before they disappeared inside.

We tried the other Element Bearer’s homes in town, before running low on ideas. Pinkie disappeared into a basement for a while before coming back and apologizing that she had nothing. We swung by the Carousel Boutique to see if they had come by, but there was nopony there.

When we checked the library, though, Twilight went upstairs to check Spike’s bed, and let out a startled gasp. Not liking the sound of that, I rushed to her side, arriving after two pegasi. I was relieved at first from what I saw, but Rarity seemed quite alarmed herself when she got close enough to see.

Spike was asleep in his bed, snuggled between the two missing fillies, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. The bed wasn’t really large enough for all three, but they had managed to squeeze in cozily. A book was laid across them, open toward the middle, apparently falling upon them when they got too tired to continue reading. It was so cute and innocent of a scene, I didn’t know why the ponies seemed alarmed. So I read the title of the book.

“So… what’s ‘Fifty Shades of Hay’?”

Chapter 26: Show Stoppers

“Spike! I can’t believe you slept with not one, but two fillies! In a single night!” Twilight exclaimed.

“Why, what’s wrong with that?” Spike asked groggily as he sat up in the bed. Sweetie Belle leaned over and whispered something in his ear that got him blushing. “Oh! No, no, it wasn’t anything like that. They were just explaining the birds and the bees to me.”

“That’s precisely the problem!” Rarity shouted. “And don’t think you’re in any less trouble, young lady. When your parents hear about this…”

“He’s being literal,” Scootaloo said. “We were actually just explaining, because somepony never bothered to teach him about things, and he was confused when we overheard Rainbow Dash telling Fluttershy what she caught Rarity doing. And then we just kinda… fell asleep.”

“I didn’t know you had a coltfriend,” Twilight told Rarity. “You need to be more careful around the little ones, or, well this could happen.”

“And what exactly did happen? Looks like the children ran away to the library to read a book. I know we were all worried because we didn’t know where they were, but ultimately they were safe,” I said.

“And Rarity doesn’t have a coltfriend. Cloud does… or did,” Rainbow Dash explained.

Twilight looked confused at the explanation, not quite catching on until Spike pointed toward the book in question and cited a page number. That was enough for the unicorn to blush and nod in understanding. “Oh.”

“Twilight. I can see the topic is uncomfortable, but if you can’t have ‘the talk’ with Spike you need to figure out who you trust to do so. Especially if he’s still pursuing a relationship with Sweetie Belle,” I directed. At the mention, a little white hoof slipped into a little clawed hand, confirming that wasn’t ending anytime soon.

“Can you do it?” she asked.

“No. This is one thing I’m going to have to insist a pony handle,” I said. “I’m not sure I’m qualified to handle my own love-life, much less guide someone else through it. Speaking of which… Rarity, you’re joining me for lunch tomorrow. I’m not dealing with this in the middle of the night.”

“I’m surprised to see you up and about, despite your injuries, my dear,” Prince Blueblood said as I picked him up from his hotel.

“I’m sure it won’t be the only surprise in for you today,” I said as I led the way.

“That would be much more appealing in a different tone of voice,” the prince stated. “Is something the matter?”

“Nothing that can’t wait until lunch,” I assured. An uneasy silence descended over us as we made our way to the restaurant.

The white stallion managed to get even paler as we approached, Rarity waving us over eagerly from the booth she had secured for our party. “I can explain,” he began.

“Good. You’ll have a chance to do so,” I said. I took a seat on the side opposite Rarity, keeping toward the edge so that he was forced to sit beside the mare. I waited a moment for the waiter to do his duty and take his leave before beginning. “Rainbow Dash caught you in the act. Rarity admitted it. And the whole chain of events after that imperilled a number of children as well as several of us Element Bearers. But in the end, no one was hurt, and I’m not here to lay blame on you for that. What I am here to do is ask you why.”

“Well, you know, a stallion has certain needs… with your background, I thought you would understand more than anypony. And there’s certainly a long history of princes, as well as princesses, having their little… outside dalliances,” Blueblood began.

I waved dismissively. “That isn’t what I need to ask about. Why are you dating me in the first place?”

“Such lack of self confidence, really darling?” Rarity offered. “Look at you. You’re strong, brave, capable. A hero by all accounts.”

“The same could be said of you, but you’re also far more effeminate, a successful businessmare, and I think we have proof the prince personally finds you quite attractive. So again, why me?” I pressed.

Prince Blueblood sighed, waited for the waiter to refresh our drinks, before finally confessing. “Look, I didn’t want to admit this, of course. But auntie wanted me bound to you so I could keep an eye on you, maybe nudge you in the right direction if need be. Give you more reasons to be loyal to Equestria.”

“And you were willing to give your life to this? Even be wed in time to a non-pony if things went smoothly?” I questioned.

“What exactly do you think a prince does?” he asked. “I’ve known since I was a little colt that I would most likely be married off in some political gambit when I came of age. I was quite pleased as it was with the prospect of ending up with someone who would at least live in Equestria. I’ll have you know I’ve worked quite hard throughout my adolescence to cultivate a healthy level of xenophilia just for such an occasion.”

“I…” I froze a moment, processing that new information, before continuing. “Look. I think you two ought to just date one another and be done with it. Either way, I’m out. You were a perfect gentlecolt, at least in my presence, but… I’m not sure this was ever going to work in the first place. And if your Aunt Celestia asks… tell her I humbly request she keep her nose out of my love life, unless she wants to court me herself.”

“Ambitious,” Rarity applauded. “Though maybe that is aiming a bit too high. Have you considered courting Princess Luna instead?”

“Not what I meant, Generosity,” I said, not amused.

“I appreciate the honesty,” the prince said. “And I can certainly see the… advantages in what you suggest,” he added, opening eyeing the mare beside him and making her blush and titter. “But I do fear it would be quite impolitic. Auntie would turn a blind eye to our affair, I’m sure, but to openly court?”

“Do it anyways. If you love her, dare your Princess to come between you. I’ll have your back. If you don’t love her… well, you two can figure that out yourselves,” I offered. I left some bits on the table as I got up and left. They had a future to sort out for themselves, or abandon, whatever. I couldn’t bring myself to care. I was done dating ponies.

“So… how much trouble are y’all in,” Apple Bloom asked her friends.

“I’m not really sure, to be honest,” Spike said. “I think Twilight is trying to figure out who to get to talk to me about sex, but at this point I think I’ve got the gist of it anyways. And she hasn’t actually come down with any punishments… but that may just be a matter of time.”

“I’m pretty sure my sister is in more trouble than I am,” Sweetie Belle offered. “If we’d actually had sex, it might be different, but we all figured we’re too young for that.”

“And I’m pretty sure my parents don’t even know anything happened yet,” Scootaloo said.

“At least your parents haven’t disowned you,” Diamond Tiara said sadly.

“That’s more or less a technicality,” Scootaloo said.

“You know you’re welcome to stay at our house,” Silver Spoon offered.

“And somepony brought you this blanket,” Apple Bloom pointed out.

“That’s true… must have been Daddy,” Diamond conceded, giving the blanket a deep sniff. “I bet he’d take me back if it was just up to him.” The group gave her a firm hug, until she regained her composure. “So! Next order of business…”

“The school talent show,” Silver Spoon offered, revealing a poster which she promptly affixed to the clubhouse wall. “If we’re going to call ourselves the Elements of Greatness, we need to make a good showing for ourselves there. Leadership, what’s the plan?”

“Right, thanks for asking, Prosperity,” Diamond said, moving to the head of the clubhouse to address the others. Perseverance, I need you on set design and construction. After what you’ve done for this clubhouse since your sister hoofed it over to us, I know you can do it.”

“Aye, aye,” Apple Bloom said, saluting. “I’ll start drawing up the plans.”

“Awesomeness, I need you center stage, with some dancing and stunts. You’ll be the highlight of our group, while we’ll back you up with some choreographed moves. Think you can handle it?” Diamond continued.

“Can I?” Scootaloo asked rhetorically. “They’ll never know what hit ‘em!”

“Just don’t literally hit them. Gracefulness, you’re on music. The theme song you made for us is great, but we need to kick it up a notch for this,” Diamond said.

“I won’t let you down,” Sweetie Belle promised.

“Power, you’ll be actually playing the piano. Work with Gracefulness and get the notes down perfectly. Those hands of yours are great on the piano, and we need all five ponies for the formation prancing,” Diamond said.

Spike cracked his knuckles. “No problem.”

“And Prosperity and I will be supporting each of you as we go, lending a hoof where you need it,” Diamond concluded.

“And bringing pies,” Silver Spoon offered. The pies were easily the most popular prospect.

“So… does that mean we can get back together now?” Rainbow Dash asked before sipping a bit of tea from her cup.

“No. It means I’m done dating ponies. Certainly for the time being. Maybe forever,” I said, before doing the same.

“Ouch. I wasn’t that bad, was I? Anyways, I guess that means I came here for nothing,” Rainbow said.

“You came here for the tea, cookies, and conversation, I would hope,” I said. “Though I’m not sure if you were even invited. Thank you for the lovely spread, Fluttershy.”

“Oh, you’re quite welcome. And you know you are both welcome over anytime,” our host quietly replied. “I’m always happy to have another mare at my tea party.”

“Great!” Pinkie said, as she popped into a seat across from me. “Fill ‘er up!” She slid a tea cup over to Fluttershy, and was quickly rewarded with a steaming hot beverage. “You know, I’m going to have to do a lot of updating on my shipping chart now, but don’t worry, I’ve still got plenty of options on the board for you.”

“I said I’m not dating any more ponies,” I repeated.

“I know, that’s why it’s a lot of updates,” Pinkie said. “But I’ve still got others. Diamond Dust, Iron Will, Cranky, Tom, Red XIII. Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll find your special some-not-pony.”

“Red XIII? That’s a weird name. What about this ‘Tom’?” I inquired.

“Oh? He’s rather close to my sister, Maud Pie. Maybe you two could get to know one another and she could introduce you?” Pinkie offered. “She’s away at school right now, studying geology, but I’ll make sure you meet next time she’s in town.”

“Sure, why not,” I said, before sipping some more tea. “Not promising to date anyone anytime soon, but it wouldn’t be bad to meet my friends’ families at least.”

“That’s the spirit. Here, have a cupcake!” Pinkie said, offering the aforementioned baked good before heading off as suddenly as she had arrived.

“Does anyone else think this cupcake is a trap?” I asked the pegasi after she left.

“Hard to say,” Rainbow conceded. “She does like pranks as much as me, but she also likes to bake. If you don’t want it…”

I offered it up to my ex-marefriend. “Enjoy. My turn to be the victim of the un-prank.”

“Unprank?” Fluttershy prompted.

“Like what Diamond Dust did to Rainbow Dash at Hearth’s Warming. Making the victim prank themselves with paranoia while not actually doing any pranks,” I explained.

“I knew she was up to something,” Rainbow Dash said, clopping the table with a hoof loudly and making Fluttershy wince. A few bits of baked good landed on the table from her mouth. “Sorry. Oh, and this is a great cupcake, you’re really missing out.”

“I kinda always thought of you as a pony, but apparently Pinkie doesn’t. When I told her I wasn’t dating any more ponies, you were first on her list of remaining candidates on her shipping grid,” I told Diamond Dust, sitting on the memory of the Nibelheim water tower.

“Well, she can cross me off. That ship has sailed,” Diamond Dust said. “Nothing against you, Master Strife, you just waited to long. I’m dating John de Lancie now.”

“Really? Good for you, I guess, but how would that even work?” I asked a bit incredulously.

“Let’s just say he can make some ~sweet vibrations~, unless you really want me to spell it out,” Diamond Dust explained.

“Okay, no, that’s plenty, thanks,” I said.

“Anyways, neither of us are looking to have foals, and there aren’t a whole lot of other options around here,” she pointed out. “And you’re not actually interested in me or you would have made a move, or at least responded to one of mine.”

“That’s true. I was just making conversation,” I admitted. “And I’m sure it won’t hurt for both of you to be in a better mood, in general. So, uh, good luck with that.”

“Thanks,” she said. “Speaking of which… we have a date over in your memory of Aeris’ church. So I’m going to go. Have a nice night.”

I waved her off and sighed, settling back to look at the memories of stars. The moon didn’t look quite how I remembered, or rather it matched more recent memories than it should. “Luna, if that’s you, you can come on down.”

The moon returned to how it looked on Gaia, and the darkly colored mare appeared at the base of the water tower. I hopped down to join her. “We heard that you have rebuffed our nephew’s advances.”

“Word travels fast,” I said. “He treated me well enough, but there was never much love nor lust in either direction, truth be told. He’s welcome to remain a friend if he cares to, especially if he remains in Ponyville.”

“That is… a rather mature ending,” she said. “And a rather bland description of it. I have heard…”

“He’s with somepony else,” I cut her off. “Somepony who appreciates him more than I ever could, and who meets his fancy more as well. Though it seems he has concerns your sister won’t approve, and will prevent it from going farther. Either way, it really isn’t my concern.”

We looked at each other for a bit. “‘Tia worries you’re dangerous.”

“I am, to my enemies. To those who would hurt my friends,” I said. “I don’t need a lover to have a reason to fight to protect the ponies around me. I cherish them enough as comrades, friends, and even neighbors.”

“You’ve changed. For the better it seems,” Luna said.

“Discord did something to me. In desperation. He tried to make me the opposite of myself, and it only… made me more like when I first arrived here. Like when I arrived in Midgar, for that matter. I wasn’t myself back then. I was trying to live out someone else’s dream,” I said.

“The man with the black hair?” she inquired.

I nodded. “Zach Fair. He was my friend when I was working for Shinra. He was a member of SOLDIER. I… I never made it in, despite my efforts. When he died, saving me… we had both been exposed to a lot of Mako, Jenova cells… experimented on. I got some of his memories, somehow. And his dreams. But… I think I’m back to myself now, or closer to it at least.

“When reversing our personalities only made us more vicious and efficient at attacking him, Discord tried restoring our personalities, and using the opening that left as a chance to hurt me. It finally cleared my head. And, well, I think you’ve seen the memories yourself. Impaling me on a sword never seems to work out that well for my enemies.”

Luna chuckled. “That’s true.”

“Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time,” John said.

“Discord! Show yourself!” Luna demanded.
“He can’t… that’s not Discord, just his voice. Somehow,” I said.

“Too true, sadly. What you hear is what you get,” John said. “Cloud rendered Discord speechless, and in so doing defeated me, his voice. And promptly made me into a summon. Now I’m not even a shadow of my former self, more an echo really.”

“Don’t you have a date?” I asked.

“I’m late!” he said.

“That’s… very strange,” Luna said. “But then, he, or rather Discord, is the avatar of chaos. Strange shouldn’t be too surprising.”

“It is annoying, though,” I said. “But at least he’s mostly harmless, occasionally slightly useful, and the rest of him is safely petrified on the moon, where he won’t find much chaos to empower his escape.”

“I feels strange for me to imprison somepony else on the moon,” Luna commented. “But you’re right, it is the safest place to store him. Though I fear he will break free in time, regardless, without the Tree of Harmony to maintain the power of the magic binding him.”

“Is there anyway to actually restore the Tree?” I asked.

“Not that I know of,” Luna said, sadly. “If anypony knew it would have been Starswirl the Bearded. Perhaps your librarian friend could research his writings, see if there are any helpful clues there?”

“It’s worth devoting at least some of her time toward,” I agreed. “I’ll suggest it to her tomorrow.”

“And I will mention it to Tia. His works are under lock and key, because they can be quite dangerous in the wrong hooves, but I am certain she will grant access to her favorite pupil. Destiny or no, I know my sister has great fondness for the mare,” Luna said.

The next evening, most of the town gathered at the theatre to see the local school children compete in a talent show. With a few of the Elements having sisters in the competition, our whole group were in attendance.

Rarity sat at one end of our group, with Prince Blueblood by her side. He seemed to be much more interested in his companion than the goings on on stage, which didn’t surprise me. Rainbow Dash was by my side, and I suspect was a little annoyed that I was more interested in the show than her. Twilight skipped the event entirely, already packing to leave for Canterlot and begin her new studies.

The Elements of Greatness were the final act for the evening, after we politely suffered through the amateurish efforts of various children, clapping for acts that would have gotten an adult booed off stage. The other foals had worked in teams of two or three. While this group was a full six, including Spike who never actually appeared on stage, we hadn’t expected anything nearly so elaborate.

The others had stepped out in front of the curtains to perform before the audience. But the Elements of Greatness raised the curtain to reveal a full set laid out. While it wasn’t professional grade, it was quality workmanship nonetheless. The five fillies before us were all dressed in their uniforms, spruced up with makeup and adorned with jewelry and other added markings.

“Weeeee-” they sang out. “Are the Elements of Greatness. And weeeee will do anything it takes, yeah~”

Applebloom soloed for a moment. “We will overcome any hast-le. Even when the Princess is in another cast-le.” Applebloom kicked down the Canterlot prop to reveal a prop of the ruins in Everfree, with Celestia and Luna painted into the window, well coreographed into their song and dance routine.

The sang out the chorus again as they rearranged themselves, somehow triggering a ramp to pop up from the front of the stage.

“We will overcome any doo-ooom!” Scootaloo declared, as she pulled out a scooter and started riding toward the audience. A circular rainbow lowered from the ceiling. She jumped over the audience, barely visible cables carrying her through the middle of the prop before bouncing her back out into the stage. “And even make a sonic rain-boom!”

They sang the chorus again as Diamond Tiara came to the fore. “I will lead my friends through any tri-al,” she sang as she slipped her namesake onto her head. “And stand together ‘gainst any deni-al.”

“And we are surely here to stay, and we will surely save the day, and then we’ll come around and play, enjoy the sunny day,~” Sweetie Belle sang, her own verse much more melodic and sweet then the edgy song the rest had been, a cardboard sun lowering to highlight her own verse before the song took on its former tone.

“For friends I’ll gladly bake a pie, but monsters get kicked in the eye,” Silver Spoon sang to a more staccato rhythm. “For with my friends I cannot fail, bad ponies simply go to jail. Cause we won’t let them ruin our day, in the end we’ll shout hurray!”

They wrapped up with a final rendition of the chorus, highlighted with fireworks and, shortly thereafter, a standing ovation. Spike finally joined them on stage to take a bow with them, and greet the audience.

“Did you see Scootaloo’s part? That. Was. Awesome!” Rainbow Dash gushed, as I smiled and nodded.

I had noticed even the Prince was paying rapt attention to the song, and Rarity was too engrossed herself to be bothered by the fact. I had to hand it to them, they had shown themselves quite capable at stagecraft, on top of their heroic contributions.

Chapter 27: A Dog and Pony Show

“You know why I asked you out here with me, Spike?” Rarity inquired.

Spike looked around the desolate wasteland they were trekking through, and looked back at the small cart he was hauling for his marefriend’s older sister, just big enough to conveniently drag his body to a good dumping ground. “I’m hoping it’s to intimidate me into being a perfect gentlecolt with your sister.”

Rarity stopped suddenly, making Spike bump into her hind quarters. “Why would you hope that?”

Spike gulped. “Because the alternative is you’re not waiting to take the chance?”

Rarity laughed it off. “Oh, Spike. No, no. Nothing like that. I would never intentionally hurt my sister special somepo- dragon. Though I do wish to discuss your intentions toward her while we’re out here. I need you to help dig for gems. I’ve gotten more requests for uniforms like ours, mostly from the guard, but also a few other groups. And they need high quality gems to bare the defensive enchantments your mother provides.”

“Oh! Phew,” Spike said, wiping his brow dramatically. “I can dig up some gems, but we’ll be here all day, unless you know where there’s a deposit to focus on.”

The mare lit up her horn, and a group of gemstones nearby began shining, visibly even through the intervening rock. “Like that one?”

Spike licked his lips eagerly at the tasty morsels, as he approached and started digging them up. “Wow, that is a handy spell.”

“It’s my special talent,” Rarity said.

“I thought your special talent was dressmaking? Though I suppose this explains the cutie mark better,” Spike said as he deposited the first bunch, less a small snack, into the cart.

“I’m much more than just my cutie mark, darling,” Rarity said. “I’m a grown mare, with sophistication, talent, a mind for business, and a taste for fashion.~ None of those came for free with my destiny, dear, I earned them all the hard way.”

“Do you still even believe in destiny?” Spike inquired. “Princess Celestia seems to think Cloud somehow broke Destiny when she arrived here.”

“I’m afraid that’s too deep of a philosophical question for the likes of me, Spikey,” Rarity said as she led them to the next deposit. “Whatever will be, will be. Arguing whether that’s deserving of the name destiny or not seems a little pointless.”

Spike considered that for a bit as they worked quietly. “I don’t know what I intend,” he said at length.

“About destiny?” Rarity asked, confused.

“About your sister. We’re both quite young still, obviously. I planned to take her to the Grand Galloping Gala, and I still intend to. Though that seems so far out right now. Cloud suggested we should just go do fun things together in the meantime. Not worry about what is or isn’t a date,” Spike said. “I’m not really planning anything more intimate than that. Especially not sex. I don’t… I don’t even think I can, not yet anyways. And even when we are old enough… a pony and a dragon? Would that really work?”

Rarity blushed and stammered for a little while, before finally regaining her composure. “Let’s just say that as a unicorn she has enough options to make it work, when you’re both old enough. If you both love each other enough to go down that road.”

Spike raised a claw to question it, then shook his head, and got back to digging. The awkward silence was broken only by the actual work they intended to accomplish until Rarity finally decided to change the subject herself. “So… what are the… Elements of Greatness was it? What are you all about?”

“Oh, that? Well, we’re a group of youngsters dedicated to becoming the best that we can be,” Spike said proudly, jamming a thumb at himself. “It’s no accident we named ourselves after you guys. We’ve seen how hard you all work, training with Cloud, to say nothing of what Twilight does. And we’ve even been on the front lines with you now. We’re… not exactly eager to replace you, but somepony has to be ready to take your place when you’re all ready to retire. Though… from what I hear, we may need to be ready to lend a helping claw much sooner than that.”

“Just how soon do you expect us to retire, Spike?” Rarity asked, halfway between amused and offended. “We’re not that old… barely into adulthood ourselves.”

“Well, sure but… well in the worst case, you guys deal with some dangerous stuff. ‘Retire’ could me more of a euphemism. Even Cloud got incapacitated by a cockatrice just a few nights back. If it wasn’t for one of our members, Diamond Tiara, getting Fluttershy to come help…” Spike shook his head. “You guys shouldn’t be the only ones to shoulder the danger. By the time we’re the age you are now, we’ll be ready to help take up the call. And hopefully there will be another round of youngsters taking our role, beginning to prepare themselves to be the next.”

“I… never realized you all took this so seriously,” Rarity said soberly.

“We didn’t, not at first,” Spike said. “Honestly, it was going to be a club for earning cutie marks, but, well, dragon. Blank flank for life, you know? So we picked a different name, went down a different route. Of course the fillies still want their cutie marks, the ones that don’t have them anyways, and hopefully that will come along with our goal of being the best we can be. But recently we’ve started to realize… well. Life can be rough, and it can be dangerous, and somepony’s got to be ready to step in and help.”

They were quiet a little longer before Rarity spoke up again. “You know something Spike? I think my sister’s in good han-mmf”

“Hanmmf? You mean hands?” Spike said before looking back from where he had been digging, now that he couldn’t see the gems anymore. “...Rarity?” He rushed back to where the cart had just been. Neither she nor it was present, but the cart had left enough tracks for him to follow back to where a couple of canine fellows were quickly disappearing from sight, blocking up the hole to the tunnel they had just used. “Rarity! I… don’t worry, I’ll be back with help!”

“Diamond Dogs, you say? Let me go, this instant,” Rarity demanded.

“You in no position to demand, gem hunter. You hunt for gems, or you suffer,” their leader declared.

“I’m warning you,” Rarity said, as a quartet of foot long needles hovered out of her saddlebags.

“And what do you think you do with those?” one of the dogs asked as they closed the distance on her.

Within minutes, the next generation of diamond dogs was cruelly struck down before their time. The current generation, however, had enough fight in them to incapacitate the unicorn before the adrenaline fled and the pain was fully felt.

“Thanks for your quick response, girls,” Spike said, as he lead the band of ponies to where Rarity had disappeared.

“No problem, Spike. Honestly I was getting a bit bored. Still, this is pretty serious. Shouldn’t we get the grown ups?” Diamond Tiara asked. “Not that I doubt we can handle it…”

“Well, it is my sister in danger,” Sweetie Belle mentioned.

“And this is a great chance to show everypony how awesome we are,” Scootaloo said, as she checked her squirt gun. “Everypony armed and ready?”

“Ready,” Apple Bloom said, speaking around the hammer in her mouth.

“Locked and loaded,” Silver Spoon confirmed, after checking her own squirt guns.

“I’ll be your mount, Spikey,” Sweetie Belle offered, bracing herself as the young dragon climbed aboard, reading his small lance. “Just be careful, okay.”

“Of course,” Spike said confidently. “Ready!”

“Then let’s go!” Diamond Tiara said before charging out into the field, the other Elements of Greatness in tow. There were dozens of holes around the field now, making it troublesome to know which was the right one.

They headed for the nearest one, planning to head in to explore it when a canine head popped out of it. “Give us Rarity back, or else,” Diamond demanded, only to get a face full of mud as the dog quickly retreated, filling the tunnel back in behind him.

“Or what?” another diamond dog asked with a laugh from another tunnel. “Go home little foals. You too young to dig, waste our time.”

“Maybe make good snack?” another dog mused, licking her lips.

“You want a snack? Then open wide,” Silver Spoon quipped before opening fire on her. The red liquid splashed her mostly in the eyes, blinding both, while some splashed elsewhere, including the dog’s open mouth.

“Aaah! It burns, it burns!” she cried, flailing wildly and clawing at her face to try to get the hot pepper extract out of her eyes and off her tongue. The Elements bull rushed her, shoving her back into the tunnel and out of their way as they forced their way into the lower tunnels.

Spike and Sweetie Belle emerged first into the cavern below, surprising an armored diamond dog with an attack from behind, where it became clear his armor didn’t cover anywhere near far enough down his back side. The resulting blood and pain was far less humorous in person than it would surely be in the retelling. The furious dog turned to bring his massive fist to bear on his attacker, only to find his face full of green flames, causing him to falter and fall back in fear and surprise. The charging unicorn steed trampled over him, hooves clanging off his breastplate before stomping across his face and leaving him in enough pain he felt it safe to sit the rest of the fight out.

Scootaloo quickly overtook them, shouting in glee as she rode her scooter out of the tunnel and up a convenient ramp, getting some hang time to pick her targets and fire off a pair of shots from her squirt guns. The blue liquid arced through the air, striking two more of the dogs before they could dodge.

The first dog’s head began to swell, expanding to five or six times its normal dimensions before the alarmed dog began to float up toward the ceiling, panicking loudly. The second dog had the opposite problem, his fur suddenly becoming extremely sticky, so much so that he was unable to move his feet from the spot. He reached down to grab one leg and try to pull it free, only to find his hands now affixed to his own ankle, unable to be removed.

“Now that’s what I call a practical joke,” Scootaloo said, about to kiss one of her guns before caution got the better of her. The off chance a bit of the poison joke extract might have gotten on the outside wasn’t worth risking.

“Apple Bloom, over here!” Diamond Tiara called, as she led the way toward some barred off cells. “Rarity! Generosity! Don’t worry, we’ll get you right out.”

The older pony didn’t respond, as Apple Bloom gave the cell a good look over, and then put the back side of her hammer to use, leveraging out the hinge pins. “I’ll have you out of there in a jiffy.”

“Ponies! Get them!” A diamond dog called out, as he came on the scene, leading a charge as more dogs moved in to intercept. But they were unable to clear the distance before they too were incapacitated by the sprays of red and blue liquids. Howls of pain and other assorted sounds echoed through the chamber as the dogs fell.

But the two sharpshooters were unprepared for the indirect approaches the diamond dogs could take. They fell as holes opened beneath them, dropping them in up to their waists and leaving them off balance and vulnerable as dogs opened holes in the ceiling, dropping nets on them that left them unable to fire their weapons.

Apple Bloom had gotten the cell door open, but now they Elements of Greatness found themselves forcibly shoved in through the opening. Their weapons were stripped from them, and the hinge pins returned to their rightful place.

The diamond dog leader growled at them as he approached the bars. “Brave little children, but stupid. Now you work for diamond dogs too! You- hey!” He shouted in surprise and anger as Spike burned his whiskers off with a quick blast of fire breath. He stormed off, promising to return and put them to work soon.

“Spike?... Fillies?... Sweetie Belle?!” Rarity asked as she came to, realizing who was around here. “Oh, no… they’ve got you too? This is horrible.”

“Hush now, sis, it’ll be okay… hold in there,” Sweetie Belle said, though she couldn’t help but frown at her sister’s obvious bruising, to say nothing of the more cosmetic injuries.

Spike made sure none of the dogs were too close before telling the others. “Yeah, we should be fine. I managed to send a message. Let’s just hope somepony can figure out what it means…”

“Hey, Twilight, are you here?” I asked as I entered the library.

“Of course. It’s reshelving day,” Twilight said. Following her voice, I found her surrounded by piles of books, several moving through the air onto and off of shelves as she spoke. She didn’t bother to meet my eyes.

“Where’s Spike?” I asked her.

“At the clubhouse, I believe. Why do you ask?” Twilight inquired.

“He sent me a pile of whiskers. What does that mean to you?” I said, opening my fist to reveal the singed facial hair.

Twilight set the books down to look at me, and them. “I really have no idea.”

“I have an idea. Do you have some way to find who these came from with your magic?” I asked.

“I can try, once I’m finished with this. I’ll need to look up a spell or two, but-” she began.

“Get started now. Make it your top priority. I want to find the owner of these whiskers before sundown,” I said.

“What’s the rush?” she asked seriously.

“I don’t know. Just a bad feeling,” I said.

The bad feeling got worse as I gathered the other Elements of Harmony, only to find Rarity missing. Applejack was the last pony I gathered, and we stopped by the clubhouse to check for the children, only to find it empty. I sent Rainbow Dash to check the school, and the other fillies’ parents to see if they were somewhere obvious and innocent, but when she met us back at the library she had nothing to report.

“Twilight, report,” I demanded, letting my edginess lend some bite to the command.

Twilight cringed before drawing in a breath. “I’ve been able to identify the whiskers as belonging to a Diamond Dog. They’re a violent and dangerous race, resembling gorillas in their overall body shape, aside from more canine features, particularly in the face. They have claws, but not the sharpest, and spiked tails. They have an affinity for gems, though it’s not clear what they seek them for. They don’t eat them, like dragons do. They may just be attracted to the shininess, or value their trade potential, as it’s their most common export.”

“Are they enemies of Equestria?” I asked.

“Well, we aren’t at war with them, or anything, but we aren’t on the best terms,” Twilight said. “Groups of them have been known to sneak into Equestria and set up hidden mining operations, digging up as much mineral wealth as they can before returning to their own country. It’s technically illegal, a violation of quite a few laws in most cases, but unless they do something like murder or foalnapping, we shouldn’t be using lethal force ourselves.”

“And if they captured an agent of the crown, five school-aged fillies and your adopted son?” I inquired.

Twilight’s countenance grew dark as she considered that possibility. Finally she nodded toward my sword. “You know how to use that,” she said quietly, answer enough.

“Spike is among the missing, so we can’t send a letter to Canterlot. Let’s check in with the local guard, let them know what’s going on. And see if those thestrals have made it here yet. Twilight, can you find that dog?”

“I can, only because I have his whiskers. I’ve enchanted this compass to point the way toward their owner,” she said, offering me a small round device on a chain, with a floating needle that pointed nearly south.

“Can you make a second one? Or perhaps one that points toward one of us? On the off chance we need rescuing, I’d like our rescuers to be able to find us,” I said.

Twilight gave a frazzled sigh. “I’ll get right on it.”

“So what do we know about these Diamond Dogs,” I asked as we followed the compass out of town. “Strengths, weaknesses, what?”

“They’re nothing but two-bit thugs, nothing we can’t handle,” Rainbow Dash said confidently.

“We’ve trained for this sort of thing, but we shouldn’t get overconfident. That’s how Spike and the fillies got themselves in the mess they’re in,” I said. “And Rarity is no push-over, with her needles. They also might have her materia, now, and be able to use it against us. The rest of you also haven’t had much experience fighting against people that are trying to kill you. Monsters aren’t usually that clever or surprising. And it’s easier to simply think of them as monsters, and not be let your sympathy for them stay your blade.”

“So… does that mean we’re going to… kill them?” Fluttershy asked hesitantly, the last words barely audible but easy to predict.

“That’s not a primary objective,” I said. “If we get out with Spike and all the ponies, and they aren’t pursuing us, we win. Killing them might be the easiest, or possibly only, way for us to accomplish that.”

“Please, let me go in first. I’ll call for help if I need it,” Fluttershy volunteered.

“You’re sure?” Rainbow asked, concern for her friend quite evident.

Fluttershy nodded with determination equally evident. “I can do this. I have to try. But I’ll need to borrow one of your materia,” she said.

Two Diamond Dogs stood side by side, back to the cell, watching for any intruders that might approach to try to free the captives. The prisoners had tried a few tricks to get them to open the cell, like feigning illness, dishing out insults and threats, to just plain whining. But the Diamond Dogs had a few tricks of their own. One was looking away and ignoring them.

That said, Diamond Dogs weren’t the smartest of creatures.

“I’m going to make you my bitch,” a voice muttered.

“You say something?” the Diamond Dog on the left asked, as he looked toward his companion.

“No,” the other dog said.

The left dog looked at his compatriot suspiciously for a moment before turning away.

“That’s right, you better look away.”

“I know I heard you,” the dog on the left said.

“You’re crazy,” the dog on the right replied.

“Look just shut up. This shift’s long enough without you saying weird shit,” the dog on the left said.

The dog on the right glared. The dog on the left started to turn away when the voice spoke again. “That’s right. Turn that pretty tail my way.” He hadn’t turned fully away when he spun back with a left hook. His victim started to slump, unconscious, just moments before the punch connected, sending him bouncing across the room.

Quietly, carefully, Fluttershy chambered the next dart, even as she whispered a nearly silent “Thanks, John.”

“No problemo,” John de Lancie answered, not bothering to whisper. Now that his summon had ended, only the one bearing his materia could hear him, after all. “And nice shot. It was truly a thing of beauty, especially with the distraction of returning from the ether.”

Fluttershy nodded slightly, careful not to disturb her cloak too much. Movement disrupted the illusion the kept the other guard from seeing her. He was still looking pretty proud of himself when her second dart found itself in his neck, and he slumped to the ground.

Not wanting to make the mistake of overconfidence, Fluttershy carefully crept across the cavern in small jaunts, stopping to let the cloak settle at even the slightest sound, until she finally reached the first guard, and recovered her empty dart. After moving on to the second she realized one of the tricks the Diamond Dogs had been smart enough to use.

“Fluttershy, is that you?” Spike whispered.

“Yeah, it’s me,” she whispered back. “The guards don’t have the key.”

“The leader has it. He’s in the next room, I think,” Spike whispered. “Down that tunnel, anyways. And that’s the direction they took our gear. Everything but our uniforms. And they took the enchanted gems out of those.”

Diamond Tiara came to the bars as well. “How can we help with this rescue? What do you need from us?”

“I need you to make some noise, Tell them… tell them a ghost attacked their friends,” Fluttershy said.

“They won’t believe that,” Diamond said.

“Not at first, but they don’t have to believe,” Fluttershy said. “Just do it.” A flash of colorful lights heralded her sudden silence.

But the captives soon filled the silence, with banging of bars and loud shouts. It took a while, and they were getting tired of the effort, but finally another Diamond Dog entered the room, saw the unconscious guards, and retreated. When he came back, he had the leader and three other dogs with him.

“What happened here?” the leader demanded.

“A g-ghost attacked them!” Diamond Tiara informed them.

“A ghost? You saw this ghost?” the leader asked mockingly.

“Well, no, of course not. It was an invisible ghost!” Diamond insisted.

The dogs laughed. “An invisible ghost knocked our guards out?” the leader smacked one of the others. “Stop laughing! And you, ponies, stop lying. What really happened?”

“You really should believe them. They’re telling the truth,” John said. “Didn’t you know this tunnel is haunted?”

The dogs spun, ready for a fight, but there was none to be had. The leader sniffed around a bit. “Fan out boys, there’s another pony hidden here somewhere.”

Three of the dogs started tracing back Fluttershy’s path to the entrance, while the two others spread out in opposite directions, breaking away to search by other means. Meanwhile, the pegasus sniper faded back into existence, cloaked, right where the five of them had been standing. The second lone dog had a dart in his neck before the first hit the ground. And the lights of the summon magic had faded by the time the sounds of the two dogs dropping had caused the other three to turn and look for their assailant.

John laughed, loudly, the voice echoing and seeming to come from everywhere and nowhere. “Foolish mutts. You dare to mine in my domain?! Grab your fallen and flee, if you want to live!”

The Diamond Dogs hesitated, looking to their leader. It was a precarious spot for him. Looking too weak would cost him his role, but facing a foe they couldn’t defeat could cost them their lives. “You’re just a ghost. What can you even do to us?” The dog challenged.

“I can make you disappear… just like these ponies!” John declared.

Fluttershy faded into reality, invisible, amidst the prisoners, and then summoned John again, the magical lights having no obvious source before everyone in the jail cell vanished before the Diamond Dogs’ eyes.

That was enough to tip the scales. “Let’s go. Bring them,” the leader commanded, leading his followers to the other tunnels. “Everydog, move out. This tunnel’s haunted! Move it!”

“That was amazing, Fluttershy!” Scootaloo complimented her fellow pegasus. “That. Was. Awesome.”

“Oh, well, it was nothing. John de Lancie did most of the work,” Fluttershy said, hiding behind her mane and blushing.

“I couldn’t have done it without you,” John told her. “It was truly a pleasure working with you. We should do it again some time.”

“Thanks… though maybe next time we could do something less… violent? How do you feel about tea parties?”

Chapter 28: Green Isn't Your Color

“Stop,” demanded a blue mare with white mane. Unlike most ponies, she was fully covered in a dress, making her cutie mark impossible to see, and purple-tinted goggles covered her eyes. “I, Photo Finish, must photograph ze hero of Ponyville.”

Fluttershy and I stopped, and I set down the heavy bag of birdseed I had been carrying for her, as we turned to look at the mare. “Thanks, but I’m a bit busy. Another time perhaps?”

“Not you, ze sniper. Ze mare who single-hoofedly save all ze fillies and ze baby dragon. Not here, not now. But you simply must let Photo Finish capture your grace and beauty for all of Equestria to see,” Photo Finish, corrected.

“Eeep,” Fluttershy responded, pulling into her mane and cloak. I was surprised she didn’t activate it and vanish outright.

“Yes! Just like zat. Ve meet at ze park at noon. Do not make Photo Finish wait for you,” the mare said before turning and heading off. “But do bring some changes of clothing. Ze uniform… it is good, but it is not you.”

“Oh, my,” Fluttershy said quietly. “I guess… if she really wants me to…”

“Do you want to?” I asked.

“Well, I…” she hemmed.

“I think you should. Just for the day,” I encouraged. “Let’s stop by the boutique, I’m sure Rarity can help with the changes of clothes.”

“Umm, okay…”

“The Photo Finish?!” Rarity demanded confirmation.

“Well her flank was hidden so I can’t exactly verify her cutie mark, but that’s the name she gave,” I said. “I take it you know who that is.”

“Do I know who she is? She’s only the premiere fashion photographer of Equestria. Do you know what kind of opportunity this is?! Do you?” Rarity inquired.

“A… fashion opportunity?” I asked jokingly. “That’s why I thought of you. If she’s looking to photograph Kindness here in civilian dress, I figured it’d be a good opportunity for you to show off your stuff.”

“Not just a good opportunity. The opportunity. This is my best chance to break out of being typecast as a uniform designer. Not that there’s anything wrong with my uniforms, mind you, but a girl like me does like to be less practical and more fashionable sometimes,” Rarity said.

“Oh, well, I’m happy to show off your dresses, Rarity,” Fluttershy assured. “You make such lovely ones… like this one here,” she said, running a hoof on a nice green one.

“Oh! The Rydia look for our aspiring summoner. Good choice!” Pinkie Pie said, popping out from behind the dress.

“Well, I can see how the dress’ green would compliment the red of all those summon materia,” Rarity agreed. “Though just why do you have all of our summon materia again?”

“Oh, well, nopony else likes the parasprites, so they’ve been mine for some time now. And John de Lancie and I really hit it off after we worked together to save the Elements of Greatness, and John and Diamond Dust are dating now, so of course I couldn’t bear to keep them apart so…” Fluttershy explained. “I guess it just worked out that way? Besides, it’s always nice to be surrounded by friends.”

“Speaking of dating… how are things with you and Prince Blueblood?” I inquired. If I was going to play matchmaker, I might as well know how it turned out. It’d been a few weeks since I had seen the stallion, and Rarity had spent enough of that in the hospital she had spent the rest working hard to catch up on her orders.

Rarity frowned. “He’s gone back to Canterlot, since you broke up with him. He visited me briefly in the hospital, but I haven’t had a chance to see him since. Spike’s been kind enough to deliver my letters to him, but I haven’t gotten one back yet.”

It was my turn to frown. “If he breaks your heart, I’ll break his-”

“Now, now, I’m sure he’s just really busy,” Fluttershy interjected. “He is a Prince after all.”

“He can make time to answer a letter,” I insisted. “He made time to move to Ponyville for me, despite his obvious discomfort.”

“In all fairness, that more or less was his job at the time,” Rarity pointed out. “Now he’s probably courting some foreign diplomat as we speak. With hardly a moment’s rest to devote thought to his poor, beloved mistress.”

“Speaking of jobs… the photo shoot is tomorrow, do you need any help getting things ready now?” I inquired.

“Oh! Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes. We’d best get right on it!” Rarity said, snapping to attention. “Oh, but… with everything that’s been going on… I can’t really afford you usual rate, right now…”

“I think I can afford to help out my friends for free,” I said, waving dismissively. “Now what do you need?”

“Now children, I know it’s a bright sunny day today, but I need you to remember to get your homework done, and not just play the whole time,” Cheerilee said. “Now, class dismissed!”

Most of the foals bolted for the doors, but as was their habit, the five members of the Elements of Greatness who attended the school gathered together instead.

“Fractions. Mah worst nemesis,” Apple Bloom declared.

“I’ve never had a problem with them,” Silver Spoon stated. “I just think of it like baking. A quarter cup plus a half cup is three-quarters cups. Easy as pie.”

“Yeah, well, an apple that isn’t whole ain’t worth a bit,” Apple Bloom pointed out. “Still… maybe you could help me with it? Ah’m not lookin’ forward to bringing home another poor test score.”

“Yeah, doesn’t your grandma make you buck trees for every question you get wrong?” Scootaloo questioned.

“If’n you’re not suited ta be a scholar, you’d best prepare ta be a farmer,” Apple Bloom quoted, her legs already feeling sore at the prospect. “Though, sis does say it’s great practice fer buckin’ baddies.”

“We could probably all stand to buck a few trees every week, help build up our strength, along with everything else,” Diamond Tiara admitted. “We’ve got a long way to go to be at the level of the Elements of Harmony.”

“Do you even think we will?” Sweetie Belle asked. “I mean… we tried our best and the six of us couldn’t even match one of them.”

“Your sister got outmatched as well,” Diamond Tiara pointed out. “Look, I’m not criticizing your sister. That was a real fight, all three times, and I saw some of the damage your sister was able to inflict. We did really well too! We almost had her out of there! And if we had a summon materia we could have turned that situation around, I’m sure of it. But the older Elements are more experienced, better trained and better equipped. And that’s why they have more responsibilities. We’ll get there. By the time we’re as old as they are now, we’ll be better prepared than they are now, and no diamond dogs, or vine monsters or even dragons will be able to stand against us.”

“It doesn’t hurt we have our own dragon,” Sweetie Belle said, a bit dreamily.

“That you lo~ove~,” Scootaloo teased.

“Hey!” Sweetie Belle objected.

“You denying it?” Scootaloo asked.

“Just… don’t make it sound like a bad thing,” Sweetie Belle insisted.

“Ooo, you do love him!” the pegasus said before being forced to flee before the wrathful unicorn. The two of them ran out the front door, nearly trampling the mare that was waiting outside.

“Ooof, get away from me you common ruffians,” Spoiled Rich demanded.

“Hey, I know that voice… isn’t that your mom?” Silver Spoon asked her oldest friend.

Diamond Tiara glared at the door a moment, then turned and headed for window to let herself out a different direction.

“Oh no you don’t, little filly,” Cheerilee said, slipping her head under the younger pony and lifting her away from the window. “You haven’t seen your parents in weeks. The least you can do is see if she’s coming to apologize.”

“If she is, tell her to apologize to my friends first. When they tell me she’s sorry, I’ll hear her out,” Diamond snapped.

“I see somepony needs some lessons in forgiveness,” Cheerilee said less than cheerily. “Look, Diamond, I know she hurt you, but-”

“She made me choose between her and my friends. Well, I made my choice, and now she has to live with it,” Diamond Tiara stomped a hoof. “And honestly, it’s made me stronger for it. A leader of the Elements is always going to be able to live in a fancy house surrounded by every comfort with servants to wait on her mouth and hoof. It’s a rough, dangerous, and challenging life. But it’s my calling. You can even see the tiara on my flank to prove it, much like Cloud’s. Now, if you’ll excuse me… my friends and I have some homework to do; both the fractions you assigned, and our daily training exercises.”

With that, she gathered her strength and more than a little of her mother’s haughtiness, and walked out the front door. Her mother tried to say something as she passed, but with her chin up and her heart hardened, the words passed her unacknowledged.

“I’m sure you must have heard her, Mrs Rich,” Silver Spoon said as she followed. “Or Miss Cheerilee can fill you in, if you’re ready to hear it.”

Spoiled Rich raised a hoof to shout something at her daughter, but the words caught in her throat. She stomped the hoof and looked angry, and tried again. Then looked at the teacher who could fill her in… but didn’t need to. Silver Spoon was right, she had heard everything through the open door as she hesitated to enter to confront her daughter. To get her daughter back from those… hooligans.

“Stubbornness isn’t going to win the day here, Spoiled,” Cheerilee told her softly.

“I know,” Spoiled said softly after a few minutes, tears welling in her eyes again. “But that’s the thing about stubbornness.

“It’s stubborn.”

“Oh! Cloud! Fancy meeting you here,” Filthy Rich greeted me as I walked down the road out of town. He had a heavy sack with him and seemed to have been waiting on my usual route for some time, probably because my patrols aren’t exactly like clockwork.

“Filthy,” I acknowledged, before coming to a stop before him. “I don’t think I’ve seen you since I broke up with Prince Blueblood. No hard feelings between us, I hope? Though I can’t blame you for wanting to spend more time with your friend than his ex.”

“No, of course not. And you’re welcome to pay the wife and I a visit anytime, Miss Strife, especially with how good you’ve been to our daughter.” Daughter? Right… he was DT’s dad. “That brings me to my point though… can you keep a secret.”

“I can,” I promised, looking at the bag pointedly.

“I’ve gathered a few things… if you could slip them into her clubhouse without letting anypony know they’re from me,” he requested.

“Sure,” I said, “but I’m pretty sure she’s going to guess where they came from. Might just have to take you up on that offer sometime though; you’ve got an awfully nice pool at your estate.”

“That’s the spirit. You’re a good friend! Just promise you won’t tell anypony,” he said.
I perused the bag while we talked. There were some bits in there, and some other useful, basic supplies, but there was also a teddy bear with a tie and collar that matched his own, worn out enough it had to have been Diamond’s toy for quite some time. “I promise,” I said, which was enough to get him going down the road while I repacked the bag. “Though I’m pretty sure everypony is going to know.”

“Sssshhhh!” came a voice from the bushes.

“Pinkie Pie?” I questioned. “What are you doing in the bushes.”

“It was the best way I could come up with to deliver my line,” she said. She came out of the bushes and coughed, gargled a glass of water, and then spit. “Alright, ready:” she drew in a deep breath. “You promised Filthy you wouldn’t say anything! He trusts you. And losing a friend’s trust is the fasted way to lose a friend forever!”

“Umm… okay?” I said. “But we’re barely friends as it-”

“Forever!” she emphasized.

“Right… this is a bit strange even by your standards,” I said.

“Don’t blame me, you’re the one that broke destiny,” she countered before hopping away.

“Forever!” she added again from the distance.

It was weird to think about it. But thinking was one of the advantages and disadvantages of being in the spa. As I sat back, cucumber slices resting on my eyes for reasons I still didn’t understand, and a pair of earth ponies filing down my nails, my body relaxed enough to let my mind go wild. And once again it took the opportunity to ponder the weirdness that I found this normal now.

Accepting the physical changes didn’t seem as strange to me. I guess there was always the possibility I would lose a limb, or even be magically transformed into a frog or something even back when I worked for Shinra. If something happened, maybe you would get pissed or depressed or something for a while, but if it couldn’t be healed you just had to ultimately accept it. Being a soldier (even if I was never technically in SOLDIER), it was a fact of life.

But all the little social and personal things that shifted with it, that was weird. Why wasn’t I more of a tomboy? I certainly had a good excuse for it. Maybe ‘excuses’ was the answer. Having breasts and an ‘innie’ instead of an ‘outie’ was excuse enough that I could try tea parties and spa treatments and dating princes and not worry about how that made me look. And if I happened to like them, who was anyone to give me a hard time about it? I’m a woman now, and if I want to sit at a little table with an adorable little pony, a teddy bear and a grizzly bear and sip tea out of a dainty little cup while sharing gossip about our friends, I will, damn it!

Speaking of gossip. “How did the photo shoot go?” I asked Rarity, as she lounged in the next seat over. “It was a week ago, wasn’t it?”

“The first one, yes,” Rarity said, more angrily than I recalled hearing her before. “She’s had them every day since! She promised she would meet us at the spa, but she isn’t here either, and I’m betting she’s not coming.”

“Mmm… I guess that’s what angel bunny was trying to tell me. She missed our last tea party, and seemed a bit excessive on practicing her stealth on our last training session,” I offered.

“If not, we would probably be too swarmed with her groupies to do anything,” Rarity said. “She’s such a big, bright, shining star! I wish that star would burn out!”

“Really? And I thought Rainbow Dash had jealousy issues,” I chided. “Fluttershy is your friend. You should be happy for her.”

“I know, I know,” Rarity conceded. “But I am jealous. Please don’t tell her I feel this way. Promise me. Please, please, please, please.”

“Alright, I promise,” I said, reminded of the meeting a few days back with Filthy Rich. What was it Pinkie had shoehorned into the conversation? “Losing a friend’s trust is the fastest way to lose a friend.”

“Forever,” Pinkie’s voice floated out from the steam room.

“Quite true. Oh, I knew I could count on you, you’re absolutely the most dependable… I was going to say pony, but I’ll just say friend,” Rarity said. “Now, I really must be going.”

I took off the cucumber slices while she slipped into her dress, ready to head out. I’d developed a fair sense of equine beauty in my time in Equestria, to say nothing of a bit of a sense of fashion. And what I saw left me stunned for a moment, forgetting to breath. I was tempted for the slightest moment to ask her out, and try to win her away from Prince Blueblood, before I remembered just how disastrous dating one of the Elements could be, perhaps this time with how a jealous Blueblood and Rainbow Dash might react. Still…

“You look amazing,” I complimented.

“Fluttershy may be the one who’s getting famous, but that doesn’t mean I have to stop look fabulous,” Rarity said.

“Fit for a Prince?” I teased.

“Once I can make time to head up to Canterlot,” she said, with confidence that sounded a little forced.

“You will,” I assured. “Let me know if you need a few weeks off from training for the trip.”

“Of course, darling, now I really must be off.” She took her leave, and I sighed.

“Time for your massage, yes?” Aloe asked.

“Yes,” I agreed. Rarity came to the spa far more often than I did, so it was not uncommon for me to stay longer, partake of more of the mares’ services. Or stallions’ in this case. Before I could get to the hall to find the masseuse, however, I bumped into Fluttershy, rushing into the room.

“Rarity! I'm so sorry I'm... ” Fluttershy called out as she skidded to a halt, looking around the room. “Oh no. She's already gone, isn't she?”

“Yeah,” I said. “I’m afraid you just missed her.”

“Oh, I can't believe this. I am so frustrated, I could just scream,” the pegasus said. She drew in a deep breath, and then let out the cutest little squeak.

I couldn’t help but smirk at it. “Feel any better?”

“No. Can I tell you something?” she asked.

“Of course,” I said.

“You promise not to tell Rarity?” she required.

“What’s one more secret?… I promise,” I promised.

“Pinkie Pie Swear?” she asked.

“Do I have to?” I asked trepidatiously.

“Do it~” Pinkie said from the other room.

“Ugh, fine,” I conceded. “Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” I made a gesture like the mentioned confectionary self-injury, but unlike some of our friends I had the control to avoid injuring myself with the gesture.

Fluttershy nodded her approval. “ I don't like being a model. No, I hate being a model. All this attention is awful, just awful. And I'm only doing it because Rarity told me I must. I must! I must!” She sighed, coming down from the rant. “I must…”

“Really? Just tell her. I’m sure she’ll understand, especially since she-” a wave of steam washed over me, making me pause.

“What were you about to say?” Fluttershy asked after a moment.

“Forever!” Pinkie Pie whispered in my ear from behind. She must have been standing on her hind hooves to reach, but I didn’t look.

“Oh, for… this is ridiculous,” I said. “Just talk to Rarity. Let her know you don’t like it, and then go call it quits with Photo Finish. You’ve taken out a tribe of Diamond Dogs solo, you can stand up to a pushy photographer and get your life back. I… I miss our tea parties.”

“Aww,” Fluttershy said, before floating up to give me a hug. “I miss them too. And we really must find a way we can both hear John and Diamond Dust, so they can join us properly.”

“Then you’ll do it?” I inquired.

“We’ll see…” she said noncommittally.

I was feeling quite good after the spa treatment, despite Fluttershy’s troubles. My nails were all done, nice and short how I like them. My muscles were all beaten into a nice, relaxed state, and I smelled, in my opinion, quite nice.

So I was quite calm when Spike approached, despite his hurry, and handed me a rolled up scroll, sealed with Princess Celestia’s personal mark. “Message for you, Magic,” he said, an urgent tinge to his voice.

“What’s the trouble?” I inquired as I verified the seal was intact, and checked above me for any pegasi or others in a position to read over my shoulder, before unrolling the missive and taking a look for myself.

“I’m not sure, but it says ‘urgent’ on the outside, and it’s addressed to you… do I need to gather the others?” Spike inquired.

I frowned at the contents of the letter and nodded to him. “Yes. I’ll get Fluttershy myself, just in case there’s any trouble. Tell them to be in uniform, packed for a long trip, and at the train station within two hours. All weapons, materia, and other gear ready for combat.”

“If it’s not too much of a secret… what’s going on?” Spike asked.

“You’ll find out soon enough anyways, I’m sure,” I said, before telling him the trouble we were up against.

Spike swallowed and nodded, before saluting me. “I’ll tell the others. You tell Fluttershy, got it.”

The pegasus was in the middle of yet another photo shoot when I found her, Photo Finish continuing to bully her into different poses.

“Yes, yes. More timid. More pouty. Ze magic, Photo Finish has brought it out once again!”

“Kindness! Change into your uniform, check you gear, and get ready. We’re catching the train,” I said.

“Excuse me! Photo Finish is not finished with ze photos. I vill not allow you to take my star model from me,” the pony said.

“You’re done for the day, probably much longer,” I told the mare. “Unless you’re changing career from fashion photographer to war correspondent, you’re not going where we’re going.”

“War correspondent? Oh my! What’s happened? It’s not those Diamond Dogs is it?” Fluttershy asked.

I shook my head. “Worse. Canterlot’s under siege. By yaks.”

Chapter 29: When Yaks Attack

The train ride toward the capital was tense. And for me, nostalgic. It seemed like a lifetime ago that I had been riding trains in and around Midgar, delivering bombs to Mako power plants, and fighting Shinra security forces. Equestria’s trains were a lot more pleasant to look at, but quite a bit slower. And with a greater distance to travel, that gave more time for my companions to get nervous.

Fluttershy handled it by sitting at the window, hidden by her cloak, watching the terrain pass by, hugging her rifle. Twilight handled it by pacing while lecturing the air about Canterlot and historical battles in and around the city. Rainbow Dash handled it by sleeping. Rarity handled it by compulsively sewing an ever expanding circle of cloth. Pinkie Pie handled it by updating her shipping grid.

And Applejack sat me down to talk about my personal life. “So you’re honestly not peeved at her?”

“I’m not happy about it, I’ll admit,” I answered. “Especially since she admitted to having planned it from the night Blueblood and I first met. But honestly, I hope they’re happy together, and I’m willing to pressure Celestia if need be to let them be. Not to be mean about it, but I’m ready to be done with dating ponies. Even if that means being alone.”

“Don’t say that. I’m sure you’ll find your special somepony- or somethin’- sooner or later,” she assured.

“I’ve got a whole grid of ‘em right here,” Pinkie Pie offered, showing me her hand-drawn chart matching a bunch of yellow chickens up with various pony heads and other objects. If not for the amazing color diversity of ponykind I wouldn’t have had a hope of even guessing who was supposed to be represented.

“What’s this box down here with the six little ants?” I asked.

“Oh, that’s a hard one, but a fun one. That’s the medium difficulty harem ending!” Pinkie said.

I considered it a moment, then noticed the ants were colored to match the other Element Bearers and Twilight. And then noticed the next box had eight ants, adding in a white one and a dark blue one, each with what must have been a horn and wings.

“I guess that one must be the hard harem ending? Somehow I don’t think any of those are really possible,” I said.

“You never know unless you try,~” she said.

I turned to Applejack to get my mind off Pinkie’s antics, but that only left us meeting eyes and seemingly both realizing each other’s relevance to what Pinkie was insinuating, as we promptly began blushing and then looked out the window in unison.

We let the miles pass by in quiet until the city came into view in the distance. The train began to slowly decelerate, planning to stop a good mile or more before our target, well before the actual train station. We could already see the pennants fluttering atop the tents of the siege party surrounding the base of the mountain, where Canterlot stood.

“Alright, ponies, listen up. We’re disembarking soon, to head into a very dangerous situation. The yaks have already destroyed several guard posts on their way here, and they have the capital under siege. We need to be prepared to fight, to the death if necessary. If the yaks try to retreat, we let them, but follow to ensure they keep going, all the way home. If they’re disabled or unconscious, move on. Keep together as a group, cover each other, and be prepared to fall back if we need to. Our armor will help but it doesn’t make us invincible, and I don’t want to lose any of you out there today,” I said.

“He needs all of us for the harem ending,” Pinkie stage-whispered.

“Hush now,” Applejack said back, annoyed.

“The what now?” Rainbow Dash asked, sounding far too interested.

“Ladies, focus,” I said. “Twilight, what can you tell us about what we’ll be facing?”

Twilight came front and center and lit her horn as she began projecting some illustrations for us. “Right. Yaks hail from Yakyakistan, in the frozen north. They’re well adapted to the cold, less so to the heat. They’re large, physically more powerful than most earth ponies, and can be incredibly destructive. They are also known for their tempers, going into berserker frenzies when things aren’t to their liking.

“One thing that makes them particularly dangerous is their war paint, which taps into their innate magic to give them a sort of antimagic bubble. This renders direct horn blasts and telekinesis useless against them, even basic techniques like your needlework, Rarity. Your grip on the needles would need to stay outside the range of the effect or you would lose control and drop them. That radius is invisible, and various based on the power of the individual yak involved, but typically ranges from one to three hooves from their fur,” Twilight explained.

“Well, I have my two large needles, they’re two hooves long, so if I keep the grip to the end they should be able to work against some of them,” Rarity said.

“Fluttershy, your sniper rifle will be key in this engagement. Especially for removing yaks from the battlefield alive,” I said.

“About that,” Twilight said. “Yaks have different physiology than ponies, so they aren’t as susceptible to the same kinds of drugs, and they have much greater body mass, on average, anyways. In addition to the much thicker fur that may prevent your darts from penetrating to the body within. You may have some difficulty taking them down with your darts, especially if they’re already in a frenzy.”

“What is effective against them?” I asked.

“Well… the natural magic that grants earth ponies their strength doesn’t seem to be effected, so hopefully that means your Mako boost will remain effective. We don’t know whether their power will protect them against materia, and summons in particular, so those are worth a try. And, well. Sharp and blunt objects…” Twilight pointed at my sword and Applejack’s steel boots respectively.

“What about my lightning bolts?” Rainbow Dash inquired.

“The magic would fizzle out before it reached them, but it might be possible to channel the energy through metal the last leg of the journey, similar to how you two killed the dragon,” Twilight suggested. “Either with your sword, or Rarity’s long needles. The war paint negates the bulk of what the princesses and the guard would normally use to fight enemies effectively, which is why they need the help of specialists like you girls to break the siege.”

“What about their offensive capabilities?” I inquired. “Do they have magic of their own? Or what?”

“Yaks rely primarily on brute strength, but they do have crossbows and trebuchets to strike at a distance. The trebuchets are more of a problem for the city, but luckily they aren’t able to protect the rocks from magic. Teams of unicorns can catch the boulders they launch from mid air and arrest their motion, preventing them from hitting the walls or even worse. However, that’s exhausting work for the unicorns, and the yaks can fashion more trebuchets as the siege continues,” Twilight explained. “The breaking point is coming where the rocks start getting through. And one the rocks start breaching the walls, the yaks can get into the city proper.”

“Alright then. We know what we’re up against. And we know the stakes. The mission objective is to end the siege, with all yak forces either in retreat or disabled, one way or another. Killing the yaks is not an objective, but do not hold back against active targets. This is a war, one they declared, but we are going to win it. Understood?” Everypony nodded solemnly at me. “I wish you never had to experience something like this. I really do. If I could do it all alone to spare you, I would. But we as a group are going to handle this to spare the rest of Equestria. Everypony ready?”

When the train stopped, we got out and started to rush toward the enemy. Twilight stayed behind, guarding the train and its staff while I took point, running forward with sword already in hand, Applejack at my left flank and Rarity at my right. Pinkie trailed behind, completing the diamond formation, while a cloud with a rainbow contrail sped along above us.

While the cloud wasn’t enough to stop a crossbow bolt or stop the enemy from realizing there was a pegasus or two present, it at least kept them from aiming precisely. Beyond that, it allowed Fluttershy to sit weapon set in position to fire, cloak keeping the danger from being too obvious, while Rainbow Dash moved her into range.

We passed the train stations, heading into the small town that serviced it at the base of the mountain. Or rather, the ruins of the town. Blood and a bit of gore spattered the remains of the buildings, splintered wood and shattered stone everywhere, but thankfully no outright bodies. Ponies had definitely been injured, but they might have at least all evacuated alive. Or maybe the dead were just buried in rubble. Either would serve to spare my friends the reality of war for a little while longer, at least.

Even still, the destruction was obviously starting to undermine their morale until a trio of yaks came out from behind the remains of a wall. Blue paint covered much of their fur in intricate patterns, glowing dimly as the beasts charged toward us. “Yaks smash!” the leader said, compromising my ability to ignore the fact that these were, in some sense, people.

But I was a soldier. As the leader charged us, my mind went to a dark, familiar place. The enemy’s body stopped being a person or even a living thing to my mind. It became a puzzle, an optimization challenge. How do I maximize the damage my sword deals while minimizing the damage this hazard deals to me and my friends? The arc of its leap toward me allowed me to brace myself, blade pointed to where its throat would soon be, when it was too late for it to maneuver much to avoid its fate. The challenge dynamically altered, as the yak brought up a forelimb to try to deflect my blade, armored bracers making the proposition more likely, but that was simple enough to solve, lowering my blade out of the path of its leg before lifting it up under and adjusting my bracing. It resulted in a lethal injury rather than an instant kill, and a bit harder and slower effort to pull my blade free, as it had buried itself in the collarbone rather than simply the flesh of the neck.

The yak to my left was knocked off from his own charge by a steel-clad double-buck, while the one to my right wavered in his approach as a pair of needles thrust for his eyes, his instincts forcing him into a defensive backpedal until a dart appeared in his neck. A second dart joined it before he finally staggered and collapsed, even as my own boot smashed into the other yak’s head, driving him from consciousness before he could stand.

“Don’t stop,” I ordered, using the momentum from my maneuver to start back into a run, as the others galloped to keep up with me.

“This isn’t how it’s supposed to be,” Pinkie said, as we got out of the ruins, heading across the open plains toward the edge of the enemy encampment.

“War never is,” I agreed. But she just frowned at me. I was sure there was more on her mind, but there wasn’t time for it. The next squad of yaks was approaching, and it was time to open up the fight with her cannon.

The unicorns barely managed to stop the stone, arresting its motion only partially before the magic surrounding it faltered and it fell, breaking through a layer of stones on the outside of the city walls near the gate before rolling away down the hill. It was the first stone to make that far, and a sign of the beginning of the end. Both sides knew it. The defenders were too exhausted to keep it up, and the unfeeling machines doing the actual hurling were still quite intact. The crews managing the machines began pulling them back into loading position with a renewed vigor.

A massive translucent bubble sudden winked into existence around the entire city. A magical shield on a scale I had never seen, offering a new layer of protection. But how long could such a massive shield be maintained? We pushed to reach the trebuchets quickly and put an end to their threat.

The nearest one was on the outskirts of the encampment, making it difficult to reach from Canterlot, but fairly easy for us to approach. The rear guard defending it opened fire on the cloud Fluttershy was on with a volley of crossbow bolts as we approached. Rainbow Dash shoved the cloud out of the way, but one of the quarrels pierced her own wing, and with a cry of pain she descended, her good wing helping her drop to the ground in a downward spiral.

One of the yaks fell shortly thereafter with a scream, clutching her eye, where the dart had struck her. The crossbow she had been using clattered to the ground, along with several others as the other guards charged toward Rainbow Dash.

A boom roared out, drawing their attention to Pinkie Pie, and to the ball of paper mache flying toward the trebuchet, trailing a plume of pink smoke. As it struck the arm, it exploded in a colorful rush of flames and sparks, igniting the siege engine. Two yaks moved to try to put the flames out, but the were driven back by Rarity’s needles harassing them.

I slammed into one of the yaks from the side, blade first, my sword cutting into his forelimb and causing him to stagger and fall to the ground. Unfortunately, he wrested my sword from my grasp in the process, leaving me to switch to my fists, laying into him with all the force my Mako-fueled body could muster.

The fight was interrupted, though, as we were pulled into the ether, just in time to save Rainbow Dash from a savage stomping. In our place, the swarm descended, devouring everything and every-yak with reckless abandon. Some of them caught fire as they attempted to eat the trebuchet, or perhaps were trying to eat the fire itself; they ultimately served to spread the fire even further, collapsing the machine into a pile of flaming wood and ropes, and igniting one of the yaks.

When we faded back into reality from the ether, Fluttershy wrapped Rainbow Dash in a painful hug, putting more pressure on the mare’s wing than she was ready for with her injury. “Ow! Hey, I’m alright Flutters. Honest,” Dash insisted. Fluttershy whispered something back that earned a hug in response.

I looked them over for a moment, and looked at our situation. The yaks in our immediate area were all incapacitated, and those closest to the edge of the summons’ impact were mostly faltering, their will to fight shattered by the ferocity of the devouring swarm. But those beyond, those who hadn’t witnessed the gore themselves but saw that they were under attack, they were marshalling in large numbers to come for us.

Fluttershy wasn’t ready for this. And Dash was too hurt. “Kindness: get Loyalty on a cloud and push her out of here. Quickly! The rest of us, let’s get behind that building for cover.”

“What? But I!” Rainbow began before I silenced her with a look. Soon the pegasi were speeding away, keeping out of range of the yak’s crossbow bolts, while the rest of us got out of sight.

“What now, darling?” Rarity inquired as soon as we were out of view.

“Maneuver K-14,” I said. “There’s our target.” I pointed out a building a good quarter mile away, near the next trebuchet.

“‘Travelling music?’ Alright… why don’t you let me do the summoning then. My Rapid Attack materia doesn’t deplete my magic,” Rarity volunteered.

With a quick swap, she had John’s Summon materia slotted into place and cast the first summon. “Nothing to see here. Move along,” said John de Lancie’s disembodied voice. It then broke out into a whistled tune as we rushed through the ether. One of the trebuchet boulders, hurled by a team of yaks, slammed into the building we had hidden behind, wrecking our cover and revealing our absence. Meanwhile we rushed ahead, fading back into existence briefly behind another building before summoning him once again. This time his voice left the cover of our building in the opposite direction, confusing the yaks even further as they tried to find the hidden source of the whistling. It drove them into a maddened frenzy, further destroying the terrain and their own tents, but making it no easier for them to reason out a solution.

As we disappeared for a third time, making a much shorter jaunt this time, John did his best to emulate the yaks’ voices, accent and dialect, giving several groups of soldiers orders to send them after various imaginary targets, some of them falling for the trick, while others simply got mad at the imperfections in his ruse, leaving them lashing out without direction until their true superiors could reestablish discipline.

Pinkie used that distraction to begin lining up her shot, when I stopped her. “Does that yak look different to you?” I asked.

“Well sure, every yak is a unique individual, just like ponies and humans,” she began. Seeing I wasn’t amused she relented. “Yes, that one looks like he might be their leader.”

“The rings on his horns look a bit like crowns. Do you think he’s their prince?” Rarity inquired.

“I think we’re about to find out,” I said. “Got the power for two more summons, Generosity?”

“Where ponies?! Where skinny minotaur?! Yaks smash!” the prince bellowed in frustration. To be fair, he was handling his frustration more calmly than his peers. But all that was about to come to an end.

My sword faded into reality just inches from his throat, a gap that vanished as I pressed it threateningly into position. Behind him Applejack lightly tapped his family jewels with a hind hoof to show where her aim was before lowering it, bracing in preparation for a full double-buck. Rarity’s needles each filled the view of one of his eyes, while Pinkie Pie’s cannon aimed up at his chest, threatening to unload into his underbelly point blank.

“Right here… your majesty, is it? This ends now. Surrender or die,” I said.

“That… threat is perfect,” he said with a nervous grin and a slight nod to one of the nearby yaks. “Don’t you agree?”

The weird behavior had me on edge, and I drew a bit of blood pressing the blade into his throat even as I shifted my stance to be able to quickly apply more pressure and remove his head on a moment’s notice. But instead, the other yaks backed down, agreeing that our threat was exactly right. They began to reorganize into rank and file, leaving the trebuchets and the siege at the wall behind, even as the bubble around the city flickered and vanished.

“You’re going to negotiate peace terms with Princesses Celestia and Luna,” I said. “But this one is non-negotiable. The rest of you yaks are going home. Now. If you injure one more pony or knock down one more wall, you won’t be getting your… Prince, is it? Back.”

“Yes. I am Prince Rutherford of Yakyakistan. Your Princesses leave sun in sky for three days! Our day cycle was not perfect! When things no perfect, yaks get mad!” he explained.

“So?” I questioned.

“So… yaks smash?”

“So Cloud Strife slash,” I rhymed back, digging the blade in a bit more.

“So yaks go home,” he offered as his people moved to do so.

“Except for you,” I agreed.

Chapter 30: Siege Broken

The worst part of this entire war, short lived as it was, turned out to be a bath. In particular, I was obliged to stand guard, keeping my eye on the prisoner lest he try something, while the yak prince denuded himself and thoroughly scrubbed himself until every last vestige of the war paint he had been marked with was gone. Unfortunately, I suffered from my own competence, being the best suited to fight back if the prince chose to unsurrender and attack while he still had the protection it gave from conventional forms of magic.

The yak was not a good looking creature to my eyes, and having his fur matted down with the bath water, blue running down it in rivulets, while the room began to fill with the wretched scent of wet yak fur did nothing to improve my opinion of him. On the other hand, I will give him credit for the quiet dignity with which he comported himself as he prepared to be presented to the Princesses of the realm he had just besieged. I wasn’t sure if he was confident in Celestia’s mercy, or merely resigned to his fate.

After far too long, he was groomed, restored to his freshly washed and even repaired garments, and adorned with the horn rings that appeared to serve as a sort of crown. His other jewelry was kept away from him, though I did not know if that was because they held some magical capacity or merely as a minor slight to help put him in his place. He was, after all, a prisoner, even if he was being shown some amount of leniency as a prince.

As we entered the court, and began our approach to the throne, another couple of ponies were currently addressing the diarch. One was an uncommonly large unicorn stallion, white furred with a shield cutie mark. He seemed to be struggling, which was apparently the topic of conversation. The other, a pink alicorn mare I didn’t recognize, addressed the Princesses. “Please, you see how he suffers so. Maintaining such a large shield is straining, even with his talent. He has such a terrible headache. Let me take him back to our rooms, and I’ll take good care of him. He isn’t fit to attend this meeting.”

“Very well. Miss Strife will be present to deal with any immediate dangers. Take your fiance and take good care of him. We will need our captain back in good condition,” the solar diarch said.

“Oh, I will,” the pink alicorn assured, before turning and beginning to leave. Our eyes met briefly as she turned to leave, and her countenance seemed to shift for a moment, studying me with a brief intensity before refocusing on ushering her spouse to be out of the room. I didn’t have time to dwell on it, though.

“Prince Rutherford of Yakyakistan,” Princess Celestia greeted firmly.

Before she could continue, however, or he could answer, Princess Luna lept out from behind her, assuming a somewhat daunting stance, horn aglow. Her demeanor reminded me so much of Nightmare Moon it took a while to realize I was imagining her with the coloration and armor she had when I first met her on that fateful night. Her voice rang out through the room with a force that threatened to bowl us both over. “You stand accused of unprovoked assault against our kingdom, besieging our capital, destroying our subjects’ homes and endangering their health and lives! Defend your actions, if you can!”

Celestia’s horn glowed and the power wrapped around her sister and dragged her bodily back to be even with her, even as she spoke firmly but much more quietly. “That is enough, sister, give him a chance to explain his side.”

“Yakyakistan built on culture of perfection,” Prince Rutherford began, ironically given his imperfect grammar. “Everything must be perfect. Yaks get mad when things not perfect. But Princesses make sky not perfect! Three days without sunset!” he pointed his hoof at Celestia accusingly, before doing the same to Luna. “Three days without moon and stars!”

"I apologize, on behalf of myself and my sister,” Princess Celestia said. “We were drawn into a conflict with one of our other adversaries, one we had imprisoned long ago, but who was able to free himself recently. As a result, we were unable to perform our duties for a time. Will you forgive us?”

While the prince seemed to carefully consider this, Luna and I looked at each other in exasperation. After that siege, we were the ones apologizing?! Luna’s eyes darted a bit. I wasn’t sure if I was tracking them right, but it looked to me like she was glancing at my sword, then over to Rutherford’s neck, and slowly across it. Maybe I was just imagining it though. Besides, a bout of wishful thinking aside, I was a soldier, not a murderer. If he hadn’t surrendered, or we hadn’t been able to slip into position to threaten him so ‘perfectly’, I wouldn’t have hesitated to kill him in the heat of battle. But here in the throne room it wasn’t happening, not unless he were foolish enough to actually start something.

Finally, the prince smiled. “Yes, I will accept your perfect apology. Yaks and ponies friends for a thousand moons!”

“Excellent!” Celestia said with her own smile. “Now there is just the matter of your country’s reparations payments to discuss.”

The Prince frowned, then looked over at me and my sword before meeting Luna’s steely gaze. He gulped slowly before nodding, and beginning the negotiations.

“Here, let me show you to your rooms,” the guard said.

“Thank you, ummm… sorry, I didn’t catch your name,” I said rubbing my temples. It had been a long day in court, and exceptionally trying for me. I was obliged to be present and at least somewhat on guard, even though the war paint was gone and he was no longer a serious threat to the princesses or their guards. I didn’t really have a direct role to play, however, in the negotiations, so I got to spend the whole time being increasingly annoyed at the Prince’s audacity. While Princess Luna seemed to share my opinions, Princess Celestia made a lot of conciliatory gestures expressing her sympathy for the yaks’ plight, even as she demanded what sounded like entirely unreasonable sums of various things from them. Of course, with how much damage the attack had done, perhaps the numbers were all quite reasonable. I didn’t have a good sense of the scale of things at that level.

I realized, after a while, that Luna and I were actually there to look angry, annoyed, and on the verge of turning violent. Celestia was playing off of it, in a somewhat more subtle variation of the classic ‘good guard, bad guard’ routine. Making it seem like we were forcing her hoof, not letting her accept anything too little. Luna played into that more than I did, as she had the perspective to get offended by the Prince’s attempts to negotiate things down, or demand concessions of his own. Once I realized what was going on, I kept an eye on the lunar diarch better, using her for cues of when to finger the handle of my sword, look cross, or otherwise dial up the intimidation I represented.

“Flash Sentry,” the guard introduced with a friendly smile, as he led the way through the palace halls. “Of course, I know who you are, Cloud Strife. You’re pretty famous, even aside from being the only human in Equestria. I’d love to meet your friends, if you could introduce me.”

“Perhaps some other time,” I deflected. I needed some peace, and suspected they did as well.

“Just as well, I’m on duty until sun down,” he remarked. “Here you are,” he said as we arrived at a door, which he helpfully opened for me.

I nodded politely before striding in, closing the door behind me. Apparently we had been granted a suite with multiple bedrooms connected to a common chamber adorned with several couches. Rainbow Dash rested on one, her injured wing in a cast and bound to her side. Rarity and Twilight shared another at the moment, while Pinkie Pie and Applejack sat on a third.

“Where’s Fluttershy?” I inquired as I took a seat by Rainbow Dash, stroking her neck lightly as I did. It might have been taking liberties I shouldn’t, but she didn’t object.

“She’s in the room,” Dash said, pointing with a nod to clarify which one. “We’ve all tried to comfort her, but I think maybe you’re going to need to be the one to do it.”

“I will… in a little bit,” I postponed. “How are you holding out?”

“Me? Pssh. This is nothing,” Rainbow insisted. “You actually look like you’re worse for wear than I am. Are you okay?”

“I’ll be fine… I just do not enjoy politics,” I dismissed. “I’m hoping I won’t be dragged in for another day of this. But that may be wishful thinking.” I let the room get quiet a moment while I looked at each of the ponies. “I’m really proud of the job you all did out there. We’ve trained long and hard, and when it came down to the wire you all showed what you’re capable of. And in the end, we were able to break the siege with no casualties on our side, and remarkably few on the other side.”

“Thank you, darling, but even a few casualties feels like too many,” Rarity said. “I may not be taking it as badly as Fluttershy, but I would quite prefer if we never had to do anything like that again.”

“I’d love it if we lived in a peaceful world where no one had to be ready to stand up and fight,” I said. “But we don’t, and from what the princesses said about the Tree of Harmony… it’s likely to get worse in the days to come. So we have to be ready.”

“Isn’t that what the guards’ are for?” Twilight inquired.

“It is, but as we saw today they’re not always enough,” I said. “We have power, we have equipment, training, and skills. We have a duty to use those to protect those who are weaker than we are from the dangers of the world.”

“Yer darn right,” Applejack said emphatically. “Y’all saw what the yaks did out there. That rubble had blood on it. That means somewhere there’s hurt ponies who were just minding their business when the yaks attacked them. And for what?”

“Because of our failure,” I said somberly.

“Say what now?” Applejack questioned. “How are we to blame, of all ponies?”

“It took us days to recover the Princesses, and longer for them to recover enough to do their duties. The yaks attacked because the day and night cycle was ‘not perfect’,” I explained. “I’m not saying their reason is enough to justify what they did, or that we didn’t do our best. But if we had been able to overcome both Discord and the Plunderseeds in the same push, we could have prevented this from ever happening.”

“Look, I get what you’re saying, but one long day is hardly reason to-” Applejack began.

“Actually... “ Twilight interrupted. “I’ve taken a moment to read up on Yakyakistan as best I can. A lot of their exports require sustained low temperatures. Enchanted ice, certain arctic plant life, and so forth. With the extended day, they would have had a nation wide melting that would have resulted in industrial and crop failures throughout their country that would threaten their economy and make it challenging to afford to even feed their people in the days to come.”

“Oh… I hadn’t thought of that,” Applejack said.

“I’m sure they’re not the only ones who were impacted,” I pointed out. “Twilight, didn’t you say unicorns used to manage the sun? Maybe it’s time the Princesses train understudies to be able to cover for them, or even take over eventually, if anything happened to Celestia and Luna.”

“I’ll bring up the idea in my next report to them,” Twilight said. “It took a whole team of unicorns in the days before Celestia, so they’ll have to train them as a group.”

I nodded, before rising from my seat. “Thanks, Twilight. Now, I’m going to go check in on Fluttershy.”

The pony in question didn’t look up at me when I entered the dimly lit room she was in. There was a pair of bunk beds, and she had claimed the lower one for herself. I gently placed a hand on her back as I sat down on the bed. For a few minutes I simply sat there while she sobbed quietly, before she finally spoke.

I had to ask her to speak up, as mumbling softly into her hoof was too hard to make sense of even when paying absolute attention in a quiet room like this one. “How do you get the faces of the ones you killed out of your mind?”

“You don’t,” I replied. “They’ll be keeping Diamond Dust and John de Lancie company in the nights to come. I have to live with the lives I’ve taken, and think about why I did, and what I can do in the future to make sure it’s necessary or it doesn’t happen. War is hard. When you’re fighting one pony, or one yak or whatever, you can disable them, harm them or scare them enough that they give up without ending their lives. But in a war, if you take too long making sure your enemy is taken down safely, their comrades will catch up to you and attack you, and by the time you’ve dealt with them, the first enemy could be back on their feet, attacking you from behind.”

“They never even had a chance to surrender,” Fluttershy said. “The swarm was just on them and then…. That was it. But, I can’t blame the little guys. They were just hungry. I’m the one who… who…”

“I know,” I said. I started rubbing her wings in a way that always got Rainbow Dash to relax. It seemed to be working fairly well on the more timid pegasus. “You saved Rainbow Dash, and spared Canterlot from being hit with those boulders. The defenders barely held them off as it was.”

“I know, but wasn’t there another way?” Fluttershy asked. “I couldn’t think of one in the heat of the moment, but…”

“Then don’t beat yourself up over it,” I said, as she moved into my lap so I could reach her easier. The rubbing was starting to get some of the tension out of her muscles, at least. “We do our best in every situation. Sometimes we can drive off the enemy without killing them, or even convince them to be friends instead. I have no doubt that you, out of all of us, will take every opportunity to be merciful. So you have to forgive yourself when you can’t find that opportunity, and the enemy forces your hoof. You did the best that you were able to at the time, and you’ll do your best next time.”

Fluttershy was quiet for a while, closing her eyes and thinking it over. “Thank you Cloud,” she said at last. “For the words and the touch… you aren’t getting any ideas though, are you?”

“No… you’re a fine mare and a good friend, but I’m not looking to date anypony right now,” I answered. “Have you been paying too much attention to Pinkie’s charts?” I joked.

Fluttershy giggled at that. “Maybe a little. Mmm, a hug wouldn’t be too far though, would it?”

I shook my head, and soon we were sharing an embrace. By the time we parted, she had recovered significantly from how I found her when I entered the room. “If you ever need another hug, or someone to talk to, especially about this… I’m here for you anytime. The rest of your friends are too.”

“I know. But, thanks for reminding me,” she said.

I was in a cell. It didn’t look like a pony cell. The style, the materials… it seemed like Shinra tech to me. I was a man again, I noticed, moments after noticing the door was ajar. Was this a dream? A memory? No, I hadn’t been here. Was I supposed to?

I looked outside. Blood. Gore. Someone had come through here and killed. As I explored out the end of the hall, I find more remnants of the guards who were supposed to be protecting the cells. Slash marks had dug into the walls. Single slash marks: a sword, rather than claws. But to have cut so deep? I only knew one sword that could accomplish that. I only knew one swordsman who could accomplish that.

As I explored further, I came to recognize Shinra headquarters. I had only seen a few of the lower levels before, but the distinctive double elevators on the outside, currently inoperable, were easy to recognize.

When I reached the top floor, I approached the throne room. There, before the throne, Luna lie dead, masamune thrust threw her body, pinning her corpse to the floor.

“Something terrible is going to happen, if you don’t stop it,” Aeris said, from behind me, to my side.

I turned to her. “What do I need to do?”

“Wake up.”

I woke up with a start, sitting up in my bed fast enough to get a bit of vertigo. The nightmare was still swirling in my memory for the moment, becoming more jumbled as the waking world reasserted itself.

I didn’t know if it was somehow prophetic, or my subconscious picking up something my conscious mind had missed, or just my fears going wild. But I got dressed, gathered my gear, and quietly headed out of the suite. At least there were no trails of blood here.

The thestral standing guard by our door saluted. “Miss Strife?”

“Bad dream,” I said dismissively. “I’m going to go for a walk, calm my nerves. Keep up the good work.”
She saluted again, and went back to guarding. Good. She could keep everypony I cared about safe, while I went looking for trouble. I found it, in the form of Flash Sentry crumpled in a heap in a corner, near a stone stairwell leading under the castle. I stopped to check on him, finding he was breathing, enough blood still on the inside to keep him alive for the moment.

“Prince… escape…” the guard managed.

“Hush…” I told him. “Guards! Medic!” I shouted at the top of my lungs. “Someone help. Somepony help!”

Luna was the first to arrive, and I had to blink at her in disbelief for a minute, the vision from the dream coming back to haunt me. As soon as she had organized the help that would see to Flash’s health and begin the search for the missing Prince, I came to her.

“Did you see my dream tonight?” I asked.

“I did not. Was I in it?” she inquired, my town inspiring a bit of worry in hers.

“Your corpse was,” I said. “I hope it’s nothing, but something is telling me you’re in danger. Maybe the Prince is up to more than just escaping.”

“We will be cautious. Will you stay by our side?” she answered.

The night was tense, as we joined the guard in search the castle high and low, but the yak was nowhere to be found.

What we did find, minutes from dawn, was Flash Sentry, asleep in his bed in the barracks. Uninjured.

“What… how can you be here?” I asked him.

“Whuh… where else would I be?” he asked groggily.

“You were in the infirmary just a few hours ago, half dead. I know pony healing magic isn’t that good,” I said.

“What are you talking about?” Flash insisted.

“The attack. Prince Rutherford,” I prompted.

“Look, I’ve been in the barracks since the bat ponies-” he began.

“Thestral,” an annoyed bat pony interrupted.

“-came on duty for the night. I don’t know anything about what’s happened with the Prince since then,” Flash insisted.

“Cloud… it has been a long night, and you are not accustomed to being awake through them,” Luna said gently. “The guards are often difficult to tell apart, especially in their armor. It must have been a different solar guard.”

“All pegasi look alike?” I asked dubiously. “Alright… I don’t know you very well, Flash. So… I admit, it must have been another pony, who just reminded me of you in the darkness. I’m sorry I woke you,” I mumbled.

I headed for bed, exhausted. And worried that whatever horrible thing I needed to stop had already happened despite my efforts. Or perhaps was still to come.

"Oh my, such delicious chaos," John said.

"I suppose you know something about all this?" I inquired. I was sitting on the water tower in my dream Nibelheim, as closed to a 'happy place' as my mind seemed to have.

"Only that your mind is quite wonderfully turbulent, which is quite fortuitous for me. I had worried I'd get bored, being stuck in here for the rest of your life, but now I'm thinking it might not be so bad," he answered.

"Great. So nothing helpful then," I groused.

"Have I not been helpful as a summon?" he asked, sounding hurt, which was obviously exaggerated.

"You... have, actually. I'll give you credit where it's due. But what about this... nightmare?" I inquired.

"Well, assuming it's prophetic, which is just an assumption mind you, it means a Princess is going to die, and it's because you messed things up with your presence here," John offered. "If was assume instead it's just your subconscious, it means you feel trapped in that suite because of something that happened back in your Shinra days, and stalking the halls all night with a sword feels safer to you than the bed the Princesses provided you. And if we assume it's just your fears; you're afraid of bad things being your fault. Especially when it wasn't your intention, just something you failed to intervene in. Like your take on the war as a whole."

"Great... so which one is it?" I inquired.

"Ah, now that's the greatest assumption yet," John said.

Chapter 31: Over a Barrel

“Are you known among your people for your investigative skills?” Princess Celestia asked me.

“No, not especially,” I admitted. “Why-?”

“Were you trained in the matter? Or are you especially observant, even by pony standards?” she further inquired.

I shook my head, but remained quiet this time.

“I have ponies who are trained in such things. Ponies who have their cutie marks in investigation, even,” Celestia said. “I will have it looked into. Perhaps it is enough you set such an investigation into motion. And if it is not enough? If we have need of your strengths, we will call upon you without hesitation. I promise.”

“Very well Princess. I will trust this to you and your agents for now,” I said, saluting. “Do you have another need for us? Or should we return to Ponyville to resume our normal duties.”

“I do have another matter for you to look into. The ponies at the new settlement of Appleloosa have been encountering difficulties with their neighbors. Take your team down there by train, and assess the situation. I would suggest leaving your weapons behind. There have been reports of violence, but nothing on the scale of what the yaks brought to us,” she explained. “Go, and resolve the situation. Write back to me daily, and I will keep you apprised of the situation here.”

“Do we know what the situation is with the yaks?” I inquired.

“Their forces continued north, to their own lands,” Celestia said. “We have not been able to catch sight of the escaped Prince Rutherford. And several moderately powerful artifacts and a fair amount of currency have turned up missing since his escape.”

“You think he surrendered as a way to get in here to rob the place?” I asked.

“I don’t want to jump to conclusions,” Celestia couched. “But that is certainly one interpretation.”

I shifted uncomfortably, frowning. Then, after a bit of thought, I shook my head. “I’ll leave this to you, your Majesty. The girls and I will go take care of the situation you mentioned. We won’t let you down.”

Celestia frowned at me in return.

“Twilight will be with us,” I offered, replacing her frown with a sigh.

“Remind me again, why are we changing trains in Ponyville?” Rarity inquired. “I mean, the train we were just on goes all the way to Appleloosa. And this is adding nearly a day to our journey. Not that I really mind the chance to see my little sister, and sleep in my own bed tonight, but it does seem a bit… inefficient.”

“I told you,” Applejack said. “I need to stop to get Bloomberg, to bring along as a gift for my cousins in the new settlement. And Cloud, I’d be mighty appreciative if you could lend a helping hoof, err, hand in the matter.”

“Sure, AJ, but… who or what is Bloomberg?” I asked as I followed her toward Sweet Apple Acres.

“He’s an apple tree, one of my favorites, truth be told. But from what my cousin Braeburn’s written, they could use his help more than we can,” Applejack said.

“What… kind of help does an apple tree give?” I questioned.

“Apples, of course,” the farmpony said, looking at me like I was an idiot. “And shade, I suppose. And homes fer birds and certain critters.”

I put my head in my hand and sighed a moment. “Alright. So Appleloosa needs apples and shade more than we do. I guess I can see that. Sweet Apple Acres does have an awful lot of apple trees.”

“Enough that we can spare one for ponies in need, anyhow,” Applejack confirmed. “Come on. Grab a shovel and I’ll show you what to do.”

“It isn’t fair,” Rarity whined as we pulled away from the station in the early evening.

“What isn’t?” I inquired, having little enough to do that I was willing to at least hear her out.

“After that Applejack made us switch trains, and ride at night, she went and bought up the private car before I could, just so she could tuck in her tree in its own little bed! So now I’m stuck here with all of you, no offense. How am I supposed to get my beauty sleep in conditions like this?!” The unicorn threw up her hooves and shook them dramatically. “It’s a tree! It belongs in the cargo car!”

“He has a name,” Applejack said angrily, closing the door behind her as she finished entering the shared car. “It’s Bloomberg. And he happens to be my absolute favorite apple tree.”

“It’s a tree dear. Don’t ponify it. It’s degrading to the rest of us,” Rarity objected.

I coughed a bit to interrupt. “What makes Bloomberg your favorite?”

“Bloomberg was the first tree I planted myself when I was a little filly. I planted his little apple seed when mom was pregnant with Apple Bloom. He was named after her, you see?” Applejack explained. “He always reminds me of better times… when mom and dad…” she couldn’t finish.

“I never met your parents… what happened to them?” I inquired as delicately as I could manage.

“They… passed away. And that’s all I care to say about that,” she said, looking out the window at the passing scenery with an angry look.

I placed a hand on her shoulder, supportively, and watched the scenery pass by, not pressing her for more. Rarity, thankfully had the dignity to let her complaints drop for the time being.

Spike eventually broke the silence with a rapidfire series of explosive pops, as his fiery breath converted a bag full of small, hard corn kernels into a bowl of fluffy white morsels. “Who wants popcorn?” he asked. A variety of other flame-heated snacks were soon to follow.

“This is delicious,” I complimented after biting into the s’more he provided me. “I’m glad you could come along. What about your friends though?”

“They’re all in school, so they couldn’t really spare the time for the trip,” Spike said. “And we didn’t have enough warning to see if we could make it an official field trip for class. I’m free to come though, since I’m homeschooled, and my teacher is coming along.”

“I think it’s actually quite an important part of a young dragons’ education to travel and see more of the world,” Twilight said. “Even more so than for ponies, given the migratory habits of dragonkind.”

“Wait, we’re migratory?” Spike asked.

“I’m detecting a slight hole in your education,” I teased.

“I actually know very little about dragons,” Spike said, embarrassed. “Aside from what I can learn from the mirror.”

“I’m afraid that’s true of me as well, aside from the mirror part,” Twilight said. “Equestria doesn’t have much in the way of contact with dragon kind. And the eggs we have have been passed down from class to class for many years.”

“What do classes have to do with eggs?” I asked, confused.

“Oh, it’s part of the first year testing at Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns. She provided each of us with a dragon egg to hatch with our magic. I didn’t realize it until I had succeeded, but I was the first to actually succeed in it… ever, actually,” Twilight said. “I didn’t find out until much later that it was supposed to be a test about how we handled failure… heheh. Oops! But I got a great little brother out of it, so I’m happy it worked out in the end.” She snagged Spike and dragged him into a firm hug.

“I’m not sure ‘brother’ is the right word,” I commented, but didn’t press too hard.

“Either way, I’m quite happy to have actually hatched,” Spike said. “But I don’t have any other dragons around to ask about dragon stuff, and just kind of have to figure it out on my own.”

“I’m afraid I can’t be much help there either,” I admitted. “You’re so unlike the dragons of my world, it’d be pointless to compare.”

“I didn’t know your world had dragons,” Twilight said.

“They didn’t talk. They were more like your hydras, but with fewer heads and powerful wings. And of course fire breath,” I said. “They were essentially just very dangerous monsters… so pretty much the opposite of Spike here.”

“Hey, I can be dangerous,” Spike said.

“You and me both,” I said with a grin, offering him a fist bump. It took a moment for him to accept it, perhaps unsure of the gesture. “We’ll both be as dangerous as it takes to protect everypony, right?”

“Right!”

As night fell, Spike yawned loudly, even as Rarity pulled a pillow over her head. The other ponies were still quite alert, talking loudly among themselves, especially Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie.

“Maybe it’s time we all got a little shut-eye,” Twilight suggested. “We’ve got a big day tomorrow.”

I nodded my agreement, as Applejack and I each moved to settle into our bunks, while a chorus of “aww”s rang out from several other ponies. But soon enough, everypony was in her place, and Spike had begun to snore loudly. The sound of which was making Rarity even more frustrated, judging by her look, and her tossing and turning.

“Psst! Pinkie Pie, you asleep yet?” Rainbow Dash whispered, far too loudly to go unheard by anyone in the car.

“No, are you asleep yet?” the pink mare asked back.

“If I was sleeping, how could I have asked you if you were asleep?” my ex-marefriend asked.

“Oh yeah!” Pinkie said with a poorly stifled giggle.

“When we get to Appleloosa, you think we’ll have to carry the tree all the way from the train to the orchard?” Rainbow asked.

“What tree? You mean Bloomberg?” Pinkie whispered back.

“... No, Cloud.” Rainbow answered sarcastically.

“Cloud’s not a tree, silly!” Pinkie whispered back.

“What’s going on?” Twilight asked them, at full volume, causing Spike to open his eyes and start looking around in confusion with a fresh yawn.

“Rainbow Dash thinks Cloud is a tree!” Pinkie explained.

“I do not think she’s a tree! I was just-” Rainbow Dash whispered back, the only one still keeping her volume down, not that it was helping at this point.

“Did you say she was a tree?” Twilight inquired.

“No. Well… yes. But not exactly-” Rainbow defended.

“Ya know she’s not a tree, right?” Twilight pressed.

“Yes, I am,” I said back, as seriously and straight faced as I could manage. Every pony on the car turned to stare at me and I met their gazes for several long seconds before breaking into laughter.

“Oh, for Pete’s sake!” Spike huffed, before opening the door out of the car, letting himself out and slamming it behind him.

“Well, that was kind of huffy,” Twilight said.
“Huffy, the magic dragon!” Fluttershy said.

“Would you all be quiet now?!” Rarity snapped.

“Enough. Get some sleep while we can,” I ordered.

“I’ve never taken orders from a tree before,” Pinkie said as she blew out her candle. “Oh, wait, I guess I have!” She giggled madly for a bit while the rest of the candles were blown out before peace finally descended on the train.

Only to be shattered, just after dawn by a sound like rolling thunder. “A buffalo stampede!” Twilight announced, and soon there were ponies gathered at the windows to watch. I was bunked on the wrong side and didn’t care to join the press of bodies, so I merely yawned and started dressing while they gathered to watch.

“I just love their accessories,” Rarity commented.

“They’re getting awfully close to the train,” Twilight said, sounding a bit concerned. I took that as my cue to grab my sword, and secure it to my back. I didn’t want to assume anything, but…

“Oh, looky! Now they’re doing tricks!” Pinkie said, clopping her hooves. “Now do a backflip!... or just jump?” As she spoke I heard a heavy thump from somewhere around the roof of one of the cars toward the front of the train.

“Are we being boarded?” I asked.

“Looks like it,” Twilight confirmed.

“Loyalty, go check it out. Everypony else, suit up, just in case,” I said, before opening the back door.

“Where are you going?” Fluttershy asked.

“Up,” I said, closing the door before climbed the ladder to the top of the train.

Walking on the roof of a train is not exactly the safest thing to do. But we had completely open terrain here, and I could see that there were no tunnels to worry about from here to the distantly visible town of Appleloosa. There didn’t appear to be anything else along the tracks to worry about anytime soon, either. The only thing I could see above the roof of the train was the slender creature making her way along the train from the far end rather swiftly. I could see she bore a resemblance to the herd of buffalo stampeding alongside the train, but I didn’t feel comfortable declaring her a member of the same species. Perhaps she was a child? She also moved with a speed and obvious confidence that rivaled Rainbow Dash and I, demanding respect in that regard.

Regardless I started quickly making my way to intercept, even as a rainbow streak shot past me to get to her first. It was impossible to hear over the rushing wind, but it looked like they were having a one-sided conversation, the pegasus trying to interrogate her while the mini-buffalo ignored her and rushed toward me.

Dash tried to get in her way, but the buffalo did an impressive flip over her to continue on her way, clearing the gap between cars in the process. Distracted by watching her, Rainbow failed to see an approaching sign and crashed headlong into it, taking her out of the scene as the train rapidly left it behind.

I was a bit better prepared, jumping up and catching her ankle as she tried to jump over me... but the tapered leg didn’t give much purchase, my hand slipped off, and the net result was merely that she landed in a roll on the roof of the car, rather than a run. She quickly rolled back up onto her hooves and resumed running,

I turned and ran after her, but she was close to Rainbow in speed, and I didn’t dare call on my Mako to sprint on a train roof. She got far enough ahead to drop between the last two cars. At that point, I had a good idea what she was up to, but it was too late. I called on my mako to dash along the roof of the car we had slept in, and leapt toward the private car’s roof, even as she hopped back up onto it. But it was detached, now, and separated from the train too quickly. I fell short, landing hard, only for the car to roll over me.

A whistle rang out, even as the car was coming to a stop, and the stampede changed directions, surging back away from the train and straight towards the private car. I had begun to stand, but quickly dropped back onto the ground, as the stampeding buffalo caught the car and rushed it back past me. I was lucky I was thin enough to slip beneath it, but not so lucky when it came to the buffalo stampeding directly upon the tracks. One of the protective gems shattered from the onslaught before they were past and it was done.

“Are you okay?” Rainbow Dash inquired.

“Do you need some water? Or fertilizer?” Pinkie Pie added.

“No fertilizer!” I said, before rolling onto my back with a groan. “Where are they others?”

“Still on the train. Except for Spike, he was on the private car still,” Rainbow Dash said. “I saw him in the window as they ran off with it.”

“Crap,” I said.

“I thought you said no fer-” Pinkie Pie began before I silenced her with a look. I immediately regretted it, seeing the deflated look she gave in return.

“Alright. I’m sure they’ll try to reconnect with us after they reach town. Pinkie, can you leave a trail of confetti so they know we’ve been here? Even if they manage to get the car off the tracks, the stampede’s path is pretty easy to follow. Let’s go. And remember, the goal here is a peaceful resolution,” I said.

“And yet you brought your sword,” Rainbow Dash pointed out.

“And yet they ran me over with a train, twice, and trampled me,” I countered, still in a foul mood over it. “I’ll give them a chance, since I don’t believe I was targeted. But I’m not going in unarmed.”

We followed the train tracks until we saw the buffalo had diverted off of them, dragging the train car with them. So we followed the path farther, around behind a mesa. As we rounded the corner, though, a pair of buffalo moved to confront us, rearing up to tower over me while holding spears.

“Relax guys, they’re okay. These three are with me,” a voice spoke from behind them.

“You’re sure,” one of the buffalo said.

“Yeah, they’re cool,” Spike reiterated as he walked out.

“I’m glad to see you’re okay, Spike,” I said.

“Yeah, they didn’t mean to capture me, and they were really sorry about it. It turns out, buffalo really respect dragons!” Spike said.

“Does that mean they know much about your kind? Maybe they can give you a tutor or something,” I suggested.

“Wouldn’t that be rather convenient?” Pinkie Pie asked.

“I’ll have to ask them. Even just some legends would be nice,” Spike said. “But one they I know they have: someone new for Pinkie Pie to ship you with,” he teased.

“Ugh, I said I wasn’t dating any more ponies,” I said.

“Buffalo aren’t ponies!” I heard from four voices at once.

I blinked, tried to figure out exactly how to point out that the differences weren’t enough to make up for the similarities, or that they didn’t exactly make them more appealing. But in the end, I shrugged it off. I doubted any buffalo wanted to date me anyways, and if they did? I’d give them the same chance I’d given Prince Blueblood.

“Anyways, it’s not a buffalo I was thinking of,” Spike said.

“Oh? Now you’ve got me intrigued,” Pinkie Pie said. “Is it a zebra? How about a giraffe? A griffon? Oh! A dragon?”

“You’ll see soon enough. Come on, I’ll introduce you all,” Spike said, and waved the way forward.

“I have a bad feeling about all of this,” Rainbow Dash said.

“We might as well get on with it. We’re not going to solve the problem without meeting the buffalo, and a friendly introduction will go a long way,” I said.

We made our way the rest of the way to a clearing where a bunch of buffalo were gathered around a fire. My eyes were able to pick out the boards the train car was made from, burning brightly in the flames, while the remained was piled off in a corner. The tree, Bloomberg, was leaned against the cavern wall, intact it appeared. How long it would stay alive, I couldn’t say.

Three figures caught my eyes before the fire, engaged in conversation. One was a male buffalo, dark of fur, powerful of build, with a dramatic white and blue headdress. He seemed important, perhaps their leader. Next to him was the small buffalo that had leapt over me on the train. She was clearly close to him; his daughter? It seemed likely. But the third was the biggest surprise.

He had red hair, sharply contrasting everyone else present, though the feathers and other adornments in his hair made him seem like he was connected to them. He was more heavily clothed than I was accustomed to seeing around here, in a blue outfit that reminded me of a Shinra uniform. In fact, taking into account the light machine gun on his back, and the helmet lying near him with the distinctive triple lens, it was hard to conclude he was anything other than Shinra.

Especially because he was human.

The first human I had seen since I came here, and my first impulse was to cut him in half.

Chapter 32: Nanaki

“What’s a Shinra soldier doing here?” I demanded, hand on the hilt of my blade.

“Peace,” he said, holding his hands up, his one good eye locked to mine. The buffalo tensed, and I had a distinct feeling it was going to be me against all of them if a fight actually broke out. They didn’t know what Shinra was like. If they understood… “This was just a disguise. It was supposed to help me sneak onto a Shinra cargo ship out of Junon, but well… here it’s not much a disguise but it’s the only clothing I have on me. I’ll take it off if it upsets you that much.”

“A disguise?” I questioned, lowering my blade a few inches.

He nodded. “I got most of it from breaking into lockers in the port garrison, but I had to buy the last piece from a rather disreputable looking merchant in a back ally. The helmet, there. I assumed it was busted or something, but it would pass to make me look like I belonged there. But when I put it on. Well, I suddenly found myself on this world instead of Gaia, and well. I wasn’t exactly a man before this happened.”

My sword tip touched the ground. “That’s a… distressingly familiar story.”

“You must be Cloud Strife,” he said. My sword was back at his head height, which was about my waist since he was seated and I was still standing. He raised his hands placatingly again. “I was with AVALANCHE back on Gaia, joined shortly after you went missing. Aeris and Tifa had a lot of nice things to say about you. Barret… well, you know how colorful his language can be. They’ve all been wondering what happened to you.”

I was convinced he wasn’t a Shinra trooper now. I wouldn’t put it past a Turk to come up with such a well researched lie but it would be odd for them to dress in any kind of Shinra uniform. If they weren’t wearing a nice suit they’d chose something to put me at ease, not on guard. I sheathed my sword, deciding to lend him at least that much trust. “Well now you know. First hand as it were.”

“Come, have a seat. You came to talk to the buffalo didn’t you? Though we should finish our introductions. I am Nanaki,” he said. Or should I think of it as ‘she’? I had kind of gotten used to the fact that I was a woman now, but if he had just recently transformed… No. He’s a he now. I could already see Pinkie updating my shipping chart to give him a prominent spot.

“Does anyone have a blank piece of construction paper?” the pink mare inquired. “I need to start a whole new grid for Nanaki.”

I groaned a bit as Nanaki continued. “This is Chief Thunderhooves, leader of the buffalo tribe. And his daughter, Little Strongheart.”

“I am Cloud Strife, leader of the Elements of Harmony. These are two of my subordinates, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie,” I said, pointing each out. “We’re charged with protecting Equestria from all threats. Princess Celestia asked us to come look into the tensions between your people and the ponies here. I admit, I didn’t expect to be thrust into the middle of it before we even arrived at Appleloosa.”

“Please accept our sincere apologies for that. We didn’t mean to get you involved. We just wanted the tree,” Little Stoutheart said.

“That tree was a personal gift from one of my other subordinates to her family here. What do you need it for? I’m sure if you need trees we can-” I began.

“We don’t need trees!” the chief bellowed. “We need there to not be trees!”

“Chief, calm yourself, and explain the situation. She’ll listen,” Nanaki said.

“The settler ponies have overtaken the land and have planted an orchard all over it!” Little Stoutheart explained. “Because of their thoughtlessness, we can no longer run over our traditional stampeding grounds.”

“We have a long and winding stampeding trail that we have run upon for many generations,” Chief Thunderhooves added. “My father stampeded upon these grounds, and his father before him, and his father before him, and his father before him, and his father before him, and–”

“I think they get the idea, chief,” his daughter interrupted.

“Hmph. It is a sacred tradition to run the path every year. But this year, these... settler ponies, these... Appleloosans!,” he said, emphasizing the last bit with a couple of dramatic snorts.

"They planted apple trees all over it without asking our permission,” his daughter finished for him.

“Well that's not very nice. Right, Rainbow Dash?” Pinkie asked her friend.

“Hmph,” Rainbow said, looking away annoyed.

“The settlers need those apple trees to live,” I pointed out.

“So that justifies taking the buffalo’s land?” Nanaki asked, with a surprising burst of fierceness. “Don’t turn Equestria into the next Shinra.”

“Equestria’s nothing like Shinra,” I retorted. “But the settlers do have needs. So do the buffalo. We need to talk to the Appleloosans. Tomorrow, come with me to the town. I’ll insist they hear you out. But you have to hear them out as well.”

“I will listen to them, but we must have our stampede grounds cleared,” the Chief said.

With the official meeting concluded, the Elements and I sat down a ways from the buffalo. “Thoughts?” I asked them.

“It’s not fair what those ponies did to the buffalo. They were here first!” Rainbow Dash said. Though for some reason she grabbed onto my arm possessively when she did.

“You’re right, but the ponies need food as well. Maybe they could import it all by train, but that seems costly, inefficient, and a bit too much risk of something going wrong and leading to them all starving,” I said. “I’m sure they have to bring enough in by train as it is. But maybe there’s a way to arrange the trees to serve both needs. What do you think Pinkie?”

“I think I’m starving to death,” she said dramatically falling over and punctuating the scene with a loud belly grumble.

“Here,” Little Strongheart said, coming over and offering Pinkie Pie a bowl of some kind of vaguely green mush. Nanaki followed her over, offering a couple bowls of the same to Rainbow Dash and I.

I sniffed at it and frowned. “I know,” Nanaki said. “It’s not much of an offering for a predator, is it? But then humans are omnivores, we can survive on even the likes of this, right?”

I accepted the bowl and slowly tried a mouthful. It was about as awful as it smelled but I got it down. “Last time I ate this well I was wearing a uniform just like what you’ve got on,” I commented.

“I know, right?” Pinkie Pie asked, enthusiastically, apparently immune to sarcasm. She’d already finished her bowl, by shoving her face in it, and was now accepting Rainbow Dash’s offering of her own bowl.

Nanaki laughed. “Well, I got what you meant at least. And it’s nice of you to phrase it that way.”

“You don’t like our food,” Little Strongheart said, looking a bit downcast.

“It took me long enough to get used to pony food, and there are still some things I can’t even think of eating without getting queasy,” I told her. “But I’m quite happy you offered. Did you give Nanaki those feathers and such?”

“No, those are a part of my own heritage,” Nanaki said. “I come from a small tribe that lives in Cosmo Canyon. Perhaps you’ve heard of it? People used to come from all over Gaia to learn more about the planet there.”

“Really? I’m afraid I hadn’t heard of it,” I confessed. “I come from a small town called Nibelheim. No one ever went there at all, really. And then Sephiroth burned it down.”

“Oh… I’m so sorry,” Little Strongheart said.

“It’s not your fault,” I countered.

“Tifa mentioned it to me as well, when we were discussing what little we knew of Sephiroth,” Nanaki said. “We were trying to follow his trail of destruction when this happened.” He gestured toward the helmet still sitting by the fire.

“What? Sephiroth’s dead. I threw him into the lifestream myself,” I said.

“Really? Well, it seems like that wasn’t enough,” Nanaki said. “Or maybe Hojo found some way to bring him back to life or the like. Who knows what all that lunatic was up to.”

“You know of Hojo?” I inquired.

Nanaki hesitated a moment before taking off the shirt of his uniform. His features were quite chiseled, the chest of a warrior if I ever saw one. Shapely pectorals with obvious strength, washboard abs that showed he burned through every calorie he took in. While his face was scarred, a slashmark through one eye leaving him blind on one side, his chest and belly were unblemished.

Eventually I realized he was trying to show me something on his lean, shapely left arm. A tattoo: “XIII”. “I was experimented on personally by Hojo. I don’t actually know what he did to me, or if he just took samples for other projects. He only ever referred to me as ‘Red Thirteen’. He couldn’t be bothered to learn my name, much less actually tell me what he was doing.”

“He experimented on me as well,” I said. “Gave me pretty severe Mako poisoning before my friend and I could escape. Though in the end he, Zach… didn’t quite make it back to Midgar.”

Not bothering to put his shirt back on, he sat next to me and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. It felt so nice… fit just right. “You’ve had a rough life. But there’s always good things to look forward to, if you’re brave enough to face your challenges. That’s what grandpa used to tell me, anyways.”

“Just hold still, just like that,” Pinkie said, as she furiously scribbled, apparently trying to draw the scene. That was enough to get us to embarrassedly break apart, and Nanaki started putting his shirt back on.

“We should get some sleep… head to Appleloosa early tomorrow to talk with the ponies there. I’m really hoping we can find a compromise and settle things peacefully,” I suggested.

“And if we can’t?” Nanaki inquired.

I looked at the ground for a moment, facing the possibility in my mind. “Don’t let that happen,” I finally said.

“That’s all you have to-” he began.

“I’m here on behest of the crown. If I can at all solve this issue peacefully, I will. If the buffalo attempt to attack the ponies, I will stop them. And no one will be happy with that outcome. If you care about them, you’ll keep them from resorting to violence,” I said. “Equestria isn’t Shinra. Princess Celestia cares about the needs of other peoples as well as her own ponies. We will compromise, and find a path that works for everyone, pony and buffalo.”

“A path, huh?” Nanaki said, furrow his brow in thought a bit. “I’ll do what I can.” He stood up and looked me dead in the eye, and for the first time I could see the steel of a warrior in him. I met his eyes and neither of us flinched as we held our gaze for a minute before he finally said “I don’t want to meet you on the field of battle.” With that, he left to bed down in another corner.

“It won’t come to hurting ponies,” Little Strongheart assured. “Trees, on the other hand…”

“These things escalate very quickly, without anyone making an intentional decision to take things farther,” I countered. “Be prepared to die for your cause before you start knocking over trees. Or stealing train cars. Besides… do you really think starvation is a better way to go?” I closed my eyes and sighed. “I’m not here to threaten you into doing things our way. I’m sorry if I come off that way. I don’t want to meet you on the field of battle either. The last thing I need is to add you to the voices haunting my dreams.”

“I understand,” she said before taking her own leave.

Finally Pinkie Pie grabbed my face. She looked like she was about to explode from the breath she’d been holding waiting to get me to herself. “Did you see that look you two shared! Of course you did, at least his half, as you were staring straight into his eyes! Maybe I should have put a mirror next to his face so you could see your half too? Anyways! That was incredible. It has to be destiny! True love at first sight!”

“Um, Pinkie… I don’t think that’s what kind of look it was,” Rainbow Dash cut in. “I mean, she’s definitely never looked at me like that,” the pegasus added with a shudder.

“Of course not! You’re not her destined special somepony, just a fling she had along the way,” Pinkie Pie said carelessly.

Rainbow looked back at her and looked about to punch her in the face, then her eyes teared up. “I’m sleeping on a cloud,” she blurted out before jetting off into the sky to find her perch.

“Pinkie,” I said. “That look wasn’t true love. That was Nanaki and I informing one another that if things do come to blows between the ponies and the buffalo, they will come to blows between the two of us, and there’s a good chance one of us will die from it.”

Pinkie took a moment to internalize that message, and when she did she seemed to visibly deflate, her hair falling from its usual curls to hanging straight and flat. I finally turned from her and settled in to fall asleep. But once I did I heard her say quietly, in a voice very unlike her usual cheerful self, “I need to prepare.” Her hoofsteps were soft, but I could tell she was leaving.

We had made it most of the way across the wasteland between the buffalo's encampment and the edge of the town when we ran into the other Elements, already on their way to find us with one of the townsfolk on tow.

“Cloud! And who's that with you. Another human?!” Twilight greeted, when Nanaki and I came into view over a low rise, our height bringing us into sight before the rest of our group.

“This is Nanaki. And this is Little Braveheart. They've come to discuss with the Appleloosans why they should move the apple trees,” I introduced.

“That's funny, because my cousin Braeburn was just coming to explain why the buffalo should let the apple trees stay,” Applejack countered.

Little Strongheart and Braeburn looked interested in talking, and each said something but louder ponies spoke over them drowning them out, as Rainbow jumped in to argue the buffalo's case.

“The land is theirs! You planted the trees not knowing that. Honest mistake. Now, you just gotta move 'em, that's all,” the weathermare said.

“They busted their rumps here! An' now they're supposed ta bust their rumps again, just 'cause some buffalo won't stampede someplace else?” Applejack accused.

The two bickered for a bit longer while the two actual representatives looked helpless, unable to get a word in. Nanaki gave me an amused look. I let them talk a little longer before cutting in. “Enough!” That didn't seem to be enough to get through their focus on the argument so I tried again. “Attention!”

The four pony Element Bearers present immediately formed into a line before me, posture stiff, saluting with one hoof. There was an odd space left open for Pinkie Pie, reminding everyone she was missing.

“Hey, where is Pinkie Pie?” Twilight inquired.

“She said she had to prepare and snuck off last night,” I said. “Knowing her, there's some joke or prank she has in mind. Let's just hope it doesn't go horribly awry. Now… Little Strongheart, Braeburn. I want you to take turns explaining to each other why you want the trees moved or not moved. Then start proposing compromises. Little Strongheart, will you go first?”

Rainbow Dash opened her mouth to speak, but I silenced her with a look. When Braeburn got his turn to speak, I did the same to Applejack. Both struggled to keep their peace, but managed it.

The talks went on for about half an hour before it got bogged down. Crowds were starting to gather on either side of us, buffalo closing to support Little Strongheart, while townsponies came to back up Braeburn.

“You're really not going to suggest it?” Nanaki asked me.

“Suggest what?” I asked.

“You pointed out the solution last night,” Nanaki said. He then approached the two representatives. “Little Strongheart, when your people stampede, is the herd miles wide?”

“No… of course not. We run… about ten abreast at the widest. But why…?”

“So if the path was cleared, say… twenty buffalo wide, perhaps a bit wider, with trees on either side beyond that, you would be able to stampede again, right?” Nanaki prompted.

“I suppose so,” she said hesitantly, looking back to her people to see what they thought of the idea.

“And Braeburn, if your people cleared a path like that, and moved those trees to the outside, you would still be able to feed yourselves and your… foals, was it?” Nanaki said, turning to the ponies.

“I reckon we could,” Braeburn admitted. He looked back to the others. “It’d be a fair bit of work, but I reckon we could do it. Might even make harvest a bit easier, having a path to take the apple carts in and out of the orchard.”

Both sides started murmuring, discussing the merits of the idea. It sounded perfect to me. “My idea?” I asked Nanaki when he was no longer the center of attention.

“We will compromise, and find a path that works for everyone, pony and buffalo,” he quoted with a grin. “I thought you were just waiting for them to come up with it on their own.”

“Do you think they'll go for it?” I asked, trying to judge the mood of the two sides.

“The path must follow our ancestral trail,” Chief Thunderhooves declared, his voice carrying over the din.

“Now wait an apple-picking minute,” a pony with a metal star on his vest countered just as forcefully. “That trail was terribly winding and long, and it'd take forever to move that many trees. And the path would hardly be useful to us, with it taking so long to traverse it.”

“Well your trees aren't useful to us. Remove them from our path by tomorrow, or we will stampede anyways and flatten them… and your town!” Chief demanded.

I instinctively started to reach for my sword, moving to intervene, when a collective gasp went out from pony and buffalo alike. Turning my head, I saw the reason.

Pinkie had her cannon aimed straight at Chief’s face, ready to fire. “Open your big mouth again, Chief,” she said.

“Now, Pinkie, I’m sure we can handle this more peacefully than-” Rainbow tried to cut in.

The Chief paused, daunted for a moment before he became angry instead. He opened his mouth to bellow out a warcry, and Pinkie immediately fired her cannon. A pie flew out, smashing directly into the Chief's face.

He bellowed again in rage, and the buffalo surged forward to attack. I moved to intercept, blocking a charging buffalo's horns with my sword. The other Elements moved as well, stopping them short before they could get to the more vulnerable townsfolk.

Nanaki looked torn, but held back for the moment, watching the battle closely. We were sticking to defensive maneuvers thus far, aside from the pie attack, and perhaps that kept him from committing himself to joining the buffalo's attack.

“Stop!” a voice rang out surprising everyone. It was Chief Thundeehooves. I saw a swath of the pie had been licked clean from his face, and his daughter was licking some of the pie off his hoof. “This stuff is pretty good. You made it from the apples? We will allow you to make a shorter trail… in exchange for annual tribute… of these…”

“Apple pies,” Pinkie supplied. “Want another one?”

“Perhaps just… hand it over, Pinkie?” I suggested.

“Came to see us off?” I asked Nanaki, as I approached the train station the next morning, where he stood waiting for us.

“No. Pinkie Pie bought me a ticket to Ponyville. Even promised me a welcome party. She says she wants to see how her new shipping grid plays out, whatever that means, “ he said with a shrug.

“It means she is taking an unhealthy interest in your romantic life, but at least she generally won't try to force it to go one way or the other,” I explained. “But I thought you were staying with the buffalo.”

“They're good people, but they aren't my people. If I go with you and you find a way back to Gaia, I can come along. And if you don't… it's not a bad idea for the only man in the world to stay close to the only woman in the world, regardless of whether shipping grids come into play,” he said.

I blushed but tried to keep calm. “Glad to have you along.”

Chapter 33: Railroaded

My first … intimate friend was a female firecat named Deneh. You look surprised. We grew up in the same tribe… close enough to get to know each other well, and far enough to keep things from getting awkward between us. She trained to become a priestess even as I trained to become a warrior, and we enjoyed discussing the differences and similarities with each other, along with all of the other happenings in life.

We had a lot more in common, in fact, such as both becoming orphans before reaching adulthood. It was hard for grandpa or her caretakers to justify keeping us apart, all things considered, and, well… like adolescents we got to experimenting eventually.

So yes, a mare doesn’t seem that strange to me to consider dating. I might find the contents of Pinkie’s grid more odd if I didn’t look around; this land is full of ponies, so of course that is much of what she would consider for me. Anyways, it’s a harmless diversion, isn’t it? Much as this digression is. I’ll get back to my story.

It’s hard to be sure how long ago it was, exactly, but a little over a year ago Deneh and I were called upon to perform a ritual. It’s something our tribe conducts every half century, to appease Gaia and protect everyone on the planet. I tried to object, because a part of the ritual requires the priestess involved to remain on an altar for five years, unable to leave or even speak or interact with anyone else. It is a great sacrifice on her part, to be sure, but a great loss for her loved ones as well.

But a worse fate presented itself. The Turks, Shinra’s agents, came to Cosmo Canyon to try to abduct Deneh. I fought them off to buy her time to escape, and they chose to take me instead. They… reluctantly agreed to let us complete the ritual before dragging me off. I know, it’s shamefully selfish of me; I was only willing to allow her to do what she must for everyone else when I was doomed to lose her either way.

They took me to Shinra Headquarters, where Hojo experimented on me. As I’ve mentioned, he wasn’t very open with what he was doing. Mostly he took samples, though he also injected me with sedatives from time to time, and who knows what else. He had a variety of test subjects, mostly monstrous creatures, and I know he was fond of mixing cells from one to another.

I was there over a year, I think. I rarely had access to a window, and at times missed meals, sometimes for a few days at a time, perhaps to test my reaction to such. But I am certain the days numbered closer to four hundred than three. Finally, an opportunity came up.

You see, Hojo was… something of a pervert. He sent your friend Aeris into my cell, with demands that we become intimate. ‘For science’. Of course, there’s a variety of problems with that. But I decided to go ahead and give her chase, quietly letting her know it was just for show. She ran, and while I can easily outrun her, I let her keep her lead. It was pretty tight quarters, but we went about in circles until Barret was able to shoot the controls enough to cause a malfunction and give us an exit.

Your friends were kind enough to accept my apologies when I got out, and accept me into their group. I’m not sure if I was ever officially considered a member of AVALANCHE or not, much like Aeris in that regard, but that kind of label only means so much in the end.

With Aeris secured, we fled the building. But with Sector 7 destroyed… that was after you left? Tifa, Aeris, and Barret were lucky to be out of the area at the time. Biggs and Wedge… did you meet them? They weren’t so lucky. Shinra dropped an eighth of upper midgar onto lower midgar just to try to get, well… us. I think Barret lost someone else, too, but all he could say on the matter was a string of profanity, so I’m reading into that as best I can. Anyways, there wasn’t much reason for us to stay in town.

When we made it to Kalm, the nearest town outside of Midgar, we learned the surprising news. The night after we broke out, the President of Shinra was murdered. The public news didn’t give much details, focusing instead on the new President taking his place. But we had some underground sources that were able to give us a pretty big hint. He was stabbed to death, impaled through by a seven-foot long sword. Tifa recognized it instantly from the photograph, and I’m sure you would have too. Yeah, Masamune. Sephiroth’s sword.

We kept an ear out for signs of his passing, and were able to get hints pointing us to where he had gone. The biggest hint, though, was a bit of proof of his strength. A midgar zolom, a 30 foot long snake-like creature, that we went to great lengths to avoid. We saw someone had managed to lift one up and impale it on a spike made out of a tree trunk. You can doubt that was Sephiroth if you want, but whoever it was was no one to be trifled with.

I’m honestly not sure what we would do if we caught up with him. Point Shinra toward him, perhaps? I know, that’d be ironic, but I don’t know what else we could do. He was avoiding Shinra’s notice except when he chose to strike and move on. But Tifa was committed to seeking vengeance on him, and I think the rest of us had a sense he was up to something terrible. Maybe we could stop the next Nibelheim. Or at least help rescue the survivors.

Anyways, we followed him as far as Junon harbor. We heard rumors he had mentioned crossing the ocean, so we needed to find a way across ourselves. And of course, the only way across was a military cargo ship controlled by Shinra. We bribed our way past the guards into the upper city… Shinra sure likes building cities on top of other people’s towns. But we needed disguises to get onto the transport itself. And, well… you know what happened when I got the last piece of mine.

When Nanaki had told us his story, I thanked him, before excusing myself to visit the dining cart. I needed a meal, certainly, but also a chance to think. Biggs and Wedge, gone. Marlene too, if I was reading Barret’s reaction right. Could I have saved them, somehow, if I had been there? Or would I have been crushed as well in the attempt? I couldn’t imagine I wouldn’t have tried to do something.

When I returned, I saw Pinkie and Nanaki huddled over something, talking things through. I approached to see what it was, and saw a grid with over a dozen boxes, each with a red-haired human face facing off with someone else. In most cases a pony. I was in the upper left box, which I supposed was to be expected. The rest of the grid was actually surprisingly similar to my own, though I didn’t notice any stallions being depicted. I did notice Twilight and each of the Element Bearers depicted separately, along with a crowded box showing the seven of us, and an even more crowded box that must have added in the princesses.

I sat down across the aisle from them, and watched in horrified fascination as he went through the grid, pony by pony, grilling Pinkie for information about the mares she had chosen, starting from basic personality traits to likes and dislikes, turn ons and turn offs, favorite colors, birthdays, the meanings of their cutie marks, and so on. Was he planning to date us all? Or just trying to figure out the best to approach? My face felt warm as I glared at the empty seat across from me, until I realized it wasn’t empty anymore.

“You know, if you’re going to get this jealous when he hasn’t even done anything, you’d better ask him out,” Rainbow Dash said.

“I’m not jea-” I began before her hoof filled my mouth and stopped me.

“Believe me, I know jealousy,” Dash said. “So either make a move or get over it. He’s not yours if you don’t even ask him out on a date.”

I tried to think of a retort, but then I glanced over and saw both Nanaki and Pinkie Pie were looking at me, with amused looks on their faces. I felt like my own face was absolutely on fire at this point, and I was rendered speechless.

“If it helps, I wasn’t putting any serious thought into dating anyone. Anypony? At least not at the moment. I simply felt anyone Pinkie saw fit to include on her diagram was someone I was likely to encounter, perhaps soon and perhaps often, and it would serve me well to know a bit about them before I did. Or in the case of you and your friends, it would be good to know better who I’m dealing with,” Nanaki explained.

“That’s… actually quite smart,” I conceded.

“Though I am quite amused your friend thinks I have a shot with all of you at once,” I added with a laugh. “Plus the princesses? Though that just seems greedy at that point. Surely seven ladies is enough for any man.”

“I would have thought one was enough. Besides, how would you manage jealousies in such a relationship?” I said, gesturing to Rainbow Dash.

“Hey, don’t go making it like I’m the reason this can’t happen. You’re the one getting huffy when you haven’t even asked him out,” Rainbow countered. “I admit I’ve had my issues in the past, but there were extenuating circumstances! Diamond Dust was messing with my head. And besides that, you never even asked.”

“You found a free quill in my sofa and assumed I was having an affair with Fluttershy!” I pointed out. “You could have just asked.”

“Ex-lovers?” Nanaki asked Pinkie Pie, who nodded. “I can see how they’d be really hard to include in the harem ending, especially if they both have jealousy issues. But you didn’t include a box with just the other five of you? For that matter, I would think Rarity would be hard to win away from the Prince.”

“Well, I’m not saying it’d be all or nothing for sure,” Pinkie said, “it’d be really weird for us to be divide with like half of us being one big happy family and the rest of us are still kinda close as friends but not quite that close. I think it’d be one at a time to start, but that you’ll either end up with one of us or all of us. Or none of us. Your special somepony could be someone else entirely! Or not even a pony! Like Gilda!”

“You mentioned her, though she sounds like it could easily be an abusive relationship if I did have any luck pursuing her,” Nanaki said thoughtfully.

“Hay! Don’t talk about my friend like that,” Rainbow Dash objected.

“You disagree?” Nanaki asked her.

“Well, no… not as such…” Dash backed down. “It’s just the way griffons are though. You can’t hold it against her.”

“I can if I’m considering dating outside my species,” Nanaki said calmly. “If I encounter her, I’ll make some allowances and try not to hold things against her personally, but who I chose to date is a higher bar. And well it should be, don’t you agree?”

“Well… okay,” Dash said. “I guess I see your point.”

“Though I will have to say, if I am to include the two of you in my harem, you’ll have to kiss and make up yourselves,” he added with a smirk.

I began rolling my eyes, but Rainbow decided she liked the excuse. “You heard the man,” she said before I suddenly found myself with a pegasus in my lap, going for a kiss. I resisted for a moment before returning the kiss, the non-stop relationship talk having gotten me a bit interested in such things at the moment. And, as much as I knew better than to rekindle things with the mare, her touch was familiar and appealing. And it wasn’t like I was mad at her or anything.

Pinkie’s giggling, and my own imagination going wild guessing at what expression I would see on Nanaki’s face if my eye’s weren’t covered by a rainbow colored mane were killing my mood as quickly as Rainbow Dash’s affections could heat it up, though. I broke it off before things got any more serious, looking Rainbow in the eyes.

“Are you actually trying to make this harem thing happen?” I asked incredulously.

“Well… no, not really. I just liked the excuse,” she admitted.

“I can’t believe Rarity is missing all of this,” Fluttershy said quietly enough that I almost didn’t hear her.

“Well, I reckon one of us’ll have to fill ‘er in at the spa someday soon,” Applejack replied.

“Tell me, though, is this sort of thing normal for ponies? Multiple females with a single male, I mean?” Nanaki inquired. “There is so much for me to learn about your culture and your customs.”

Twilight teleported the dozen feet to appear in the seat next to Pinkie, knocking the party mare off balance with surprise as she excitedly began. “In recent centuries it’s been quite rare, in honesty, but the practice was somewhat typical back in the pre-unification days, and even for some time thereafter. It was common for many of the males to join the guard or the military, back when we had a larger standing army, and they would go months or even years at a time with little to no female contact, much less a special somepony. Some of the writings from the time suggests that intimacy with each other was common enough to be almost unnoteworthy, however. This left substantially more mares than stallions in the civilian population, however, and the socioeconomic models of the time gave a variety of benefits toward larger families with greater numbers of children. So herds with two to four mares to a single stallion were quite common, and some of the wealthier or otherwise more powerful families formed even larger herds, and leveraged those larger families to achieve even greater wealth.”

“That’s fascinating,” Nanaki said, and managed to sound sincere about it, “but could we digress a moment to current practices? You said it was rare, but is it taboo, something that would inspire prejudiced negative reactions from neighbors and strangers at the least, or merely something whose primary draw has become a thing of the past, making it less appealing and thus less common?”

“Oh, the latter, certainly,” Twilight said. “We don’t have much of a standing army anymore, and most of the guard these days have wives who live and work in the same town, aside from the younger ones who simply haven’t met their special somepony yet. In someplace like Canterlot, it might be seen as unfashionable and backwards, but a more rural area like Ponyville would likely just congratulate you on your happiness. Or at least I assume. Girls?”

“I’d certainly throw a party,” Pinkie Pie agreed. “In fact it’d practically be a party. An all-life-long party.”

“Some of my cousins have larger herds,” Applejack said, “though I don’t think there have been any in Ponyville in particular in recent memory. Granny Smith might have known some though.”

“Oh! How thoughtless of me. Going over so much, you must need to take some notes!” Twilight said. Her magic summoned a blank scroll, quill and ink and hovered them near Nanaki.

“No, that’s quite alright,” he said. “I’ve got a good memory. Besides, I can’t write.”

Twilight gasped loudly in shock. “You’re illiterate?!”

“No, no. I can read quite well. I just never learned how to write,” Nanaki said.

“Oh… Well, one out of two is- No. This won’t stand. I won’t stand for it,” the librarian declared. “You’re taking writing lessons, as soon as we get to Ponyville.”

“That sounds reasonable, though perhaps Miss Strife should be the one to teach me?” he suggested.

“While I can’t disparage the efficacy of her paramilitary drilling techniques, I would like to believe I am more qualified for teaching anything to do with reading, or consequently writing. Not to be too arrogant about it, but I write more a day than she reads,” Twilight said, sounding a bit offended. “Why would you chose her to teach you over me-”

Nanaki held up his hands and then wiggled his fingers, and finally gripped the quill in one hand, completely incorrectly. “Oh,” Twilight conceded as she finally caught on.

“I’ll teach you how to write,” I said. “Or at least get you started on it. If you already know your letters and numbers, there isn’t a lot to say on the matter, mostly you’ll just need to practice. A lot. Actually… This is a perfectly good use for my ‘paramilitary drilling techniques’.” I grinned at him a bit viciously.

“I do get the uncomfortable feeling I may have inadvertently scorned a certain swordswoman,” he told Pinkie and Twilight in a stage whisper, earning a giggle from the former. “Perhaps it’s best we leave a certain topic out of conversation in her presence from now on, and move on to another?”

“Don’t worry, I’ve got plenty more to teach you,” Twilight said. “The fun way!” And at that a quartet of books materialized around Nanaki.

“Daring Do and the Sapphire Stone. Foal’s Guide to Pony Anatomy. Me And My Horn, A Young Unicorn’s Guide to Magic. And… oh, this looks exciting. Luna’s Art, A Guide To The Constellations Of The Night Sky,” Nanaki read as he grabbed the last one, and cracked it open, excitedly skimming through it before going back to start reading the first chapter eagerly. “Grandpa and I used to study the night sky back home almost every night. It seems to different here… it’s… actually one of the things that makes this place feel the most alien to me. When I got out of Midgar, I could see all the familiar constellations, even if they weren’t quite where I was used to them being. But here none of them are familiar, and it feels like someone’s rearranging the-...”

“Something wrong Nanaki?” I asked when he had gone silent for a minute.

“Oh, yes. It says here that a Princess Luna actually does rearrange the stars in the night sky on a nightly basis…” Nanaki said. “That’s fascinating,” he added, sounding like he meant “That’s terrifying.”

“I’ll introduce you,” I offered.

“You are personally acquainted with the being that rearranges the very stars in the sky?” he inquired.

“And her sister, the one who moves the sun to make it day or night,” I said. “Pinkie didn’t mention this in your shipping grid debriefing? They’re the eighth and ninth little symbols there on that final box. They’re also our employers.”

“But don’t worry! They’re both super nice! Except for that one time one of them turned evil and tried to plunge the world into eternal night. But we helped her and now she’s good again!” Pinkie summarized.

“Well, that’s good then…” Nanaki said. “Wait, so that extra long day last week?”

“The princesses were captured, and it took us a little while to rescue them,” I admitted. “I was stabbed through the gut, and the girls wanted to wait for me to recover before making the final push.”

“And you didn’t have a Cure Materia to deal with the wound quickly?” he inquired.

“I didn’t bring any Materia with me, and that’s not one I’ve been able to make,” I admitted.

“You’ve been able to make others?” he questioned.

I nodded. “It’s a gift and a curse,” I said, thinking back to the oven incident, and all the tools since then I’ve been unable to use at all. “Did you bring any with you?”

“I did. Restore, Heal, Revive, All and Seal,” he listed off. “Barret felt my speed lent well to a healing role, and I could hit hard enough that I didn’t need offensive materia to contribute offensively.”

“You have actual Gaian materia on you?” Twilight asked excitedly. “May I borrow one to study?!”

“Here…” he said, pulling a large glass pin out of his hair. The base of it had a couple of materia attached, along with a few empty slots. He fixed it into her mane, and was still fiddling with it when she clopped her hooves excitedly. The last thing I saw was the bright waves of active magic flowing out of her before I passed out.

“You’re asleep early,” Diamond Dust said with a bit of a laugh. “Your new coltfriend’s something else. Or should I say everypony’s new coltfriend?”

“Diamond? What’s going on?” I asked, looking around the dreamscape in surprise.

“Twilight Sparkle somehow managed to put everyone in the train car to sleep,” Diamond Dust explained. “I hope that materia’s effects don’t last that long. I think you’re getting close to your stop.”

“Materia… Seal, linked with an All materia. Causes short term unconsciousness. It can help limit the number of enemies you have to face at once, but once you attack a sleeping adversary they will awaken,” I recalled from my Shinra days. “Nanaki probably should have unlinked them before giving them to Twilight. Maybe he didn’t think she would test it immediately, or that at least one of us would be able to resist the effects.”

Diamond shrugged. “It’s too bad. I was enjoying all the teasing he was doing to you.”

“You think it was just teasing?” I asked.

“Hard to say. It feels like he’s actually got a shot at the six of them,” Diamond said. “Or you. I have never seen you blush so much, and I was around when you were hot and heavy with the Element of Jealousy.”

“So it depends if he thinks I’m better than six ponies?” I asked.

“It depends if you think he is worth sharing with six ponies,” she suggested.

“I don’t think it’s fair to let him go that route when I dumped a Prince over just one,” I said.

“Please, the Prince was never about that,” Diamond Dust said. “He was too big for you, there’s no shame in admitting it, least of all here. And you really had nothing in common. Nanaki is a warrior from your own world. He even had to deal with the same kind of body transformation as you. And while I haven’t seen under the dock, I have a feeling he’d fit you just right,” she said. “That’s what’s got you blushing after all. You’re not sure about his character, yet, but your body is sure about his.~”

I sighed. “When did you get insightful?”

“I’m older than you, manipulative by nature, and I literally have nothing to do but hang around you and your friends both in your dreams and in the waking world,” she pointed out. “I’ve always been insightful, just not always helpful.”

Before I could think of a retort, the conductor was rousing us at our stop.

Chapter 34: A Bird in the Hoof

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Nanaki,” Princess Celestia greeted. She was seated beside one of the tables that lined Sugarcube Corner in the main room that had been converted, as it often was, from a baked goods sales counter into a spacious party venue.. “Welcome to Ponyville, and for that matter, Equestria. I trust the ride over here was pleasant?”

“It was, thank you. It was the most comfortable train I have ridden on,” he answered politely. “I didn’t expect royalty to attend my welcoming party, especially after I learned you live in another city, some distance away. You didn’t have to come all this way just for me.”

“Don’t sell yourself short, Nanaki. Humans are rare in these parts, and the last has made quite a lasting impression on us. When my student informed me of your presence and Pinkie’s plans, I made great haste to arrive as promptly as I could. Though there are other reasons to be here as well,” Celestia explained. “Such as welcoming home the Elements of Harmony after they have been running all over the country dealing with one crises after the next.”

“I do hope that isn’t a segue into explaining the next crisis,” I said, as I approached them. “Thank you for coming, Princess, I see you’ve met Nanaki.”

“I have. And no, I have no new crisis for you. Relax. Enjoy the party, Cloud. Have some tea,” she suggested. She lifted her own teacup to her mouth and took a sip.

“I will, thank you,” I said, as I picked up an empty teacup from the table. As I looked around for the teapot, Mrs Cake nervously rushed past me, nearly knocking me over in her haste to pour more tea into Celestia’s slightly drained cup. Almost as an afterthought as she turned back toward her husband, she noticed my own empty cut and filled it as well. “Thank you Mrs Cake.”

“Of course Cloud, just keep the lanes clear please,” she said.

“This really is just a social call,” the princess assured. “Even if there are several ponies I wish to speak with. It’s good to spend a bit of time with all of Equestria’s ponies, as much as I can get away to do such things. The more I’m able to learn of their hopes and dreams, challenges and triumphs, the better I can do my job as ruler.” She took another sip of the tea, and by the time the cup hit the table, Mrs Cake was there with the pot, refilling it. The princess gave her a look I wasn’t sure how to interpret.

“It’s a good chance for me to meet up with a few ponies I don’t catch up with often enough as well,” I thought, looking around. “Though some of them may have to wait,” I added, noting that Vinyl was setting up her DJ equipment, while Octavia was currently adding background music to the party with her cello, something far more mellow than the white unicorn was likely to provide. After my role in first breaking and then fixing their home, I occasionally made time to speak to the pair, individually or otherwise. A few other ponies around the room jogged my memory, or teased at it just enough to make me regret my inability to so much as name them.

“I’m hoping to spend a bit of time with each of you Element Bearers tonight, but I don’t see you all here,” the princess mentioned. “I know Pinkie Pie is in the kitchen still. She’s made the rounds from time to time and promises to be available when the cooking is all done. But Fluttershy is nowhere to be seen.”

“I’m sure she’ll be here. Unless you’re worried she’s been waylaid?” I inquired. “Of course, while I hope she’d be polite enough to leave it at home, she does have a stealth cloak. She could be hiding in plain sight, using her equipment to be even more of a wallflower than usual.”

“You’re joking,” Celestia said, as she tried to sneak a sip of tea while Mrs Cake’s back was turned on her way back from refilling the last sip, only for the mare to turn instantly to replenish the royal beverage.

Nanaki, for his part, was quietly observing and growing a bit of a grin at the ponies’ antics. “Enjoy the party, Princess. Cloud and I will make a quick search of the perimeter for any invisible wallflowers while we have our own chat.”

We left, while the princess’ apparent competition with Mrs Cake’s teapot escalated. I paused briefly as a covered birdcage near her emitted some rather distressing coughing sounds. Whatever it was, I wasn’t getting involved.

“You’re getting along well with the ponies, I see,” I noted as we headed for the buffet. We had to bend down quite a bit to get our plates.

“Allow me,” Applejack offered, assembling a cross section of the foods onto a pair of plates for us. She handed us a pair of salad forks, rather than the nearby appetizer forks, but I didn’t want to make a fuss about it. I wouldn’t have been able to tell the difference myself if I hadn’t dated a prince, briefly.

“Thank you, Honesty. Enjoying the party?” I said, before starting in on the cobbler. I could tell it was made from Apple family apples, which may have been a factor in it taking such a prominent place on my plate.

“I was a bit nervous, at first, what with the princess being right there and all. But then I thought, what the hay. We’ve been through hell and back again protecting this town, and the rest of Equestria. What’s the point of being scared at a party?” she said. “Rarity still seems a might nervous to me, though. Maybe somepony ought to give her a little pep talk. Remind her that she can always make another dress if that one gets soiled.”

“Good point. Blueblood hasn’t shown up?” I inquired.

“She insists he’s just being ‘fashionably late’,” Applejack said, with obvious skepticism. “I guess she would be the expert.”

“I’ll bring her something to eat,” I said, putting a muffin on a plate for her. “This shouldn’t have much risk of staining.”

“Why do you call her Honesty?” Nanaki inquired as we crossed the space toward the seamstress.

“Oh? It’s her Element… we’re each bound to an artifact, the Elements of Harmony, that are tied to our traits. She’s Honesty. Rarity is Generosity. Pinkie is Laughter. Dash is Loyalty. Flutters is Kindness. And I’m Magic,” I said. “It just made sense to me as a sort of ‘codenames’ for our group.”

“Codenames? Is that something you picked up from Shinra. A bit depersonalizing isn’t it? Why not just call them by their names?” Nanaki suggested.

I thought about it a moment. “Perhaps, at least when we’re being sociable. I think maybe it’s best to stick to it when it comes to orders though. Maybe even better to separate it like that.”

“You want to not think of them like people when you’re ordering them around?” Nanaki asked, only the barest hint of accusation in his voice, buried under more curiosity.

“Yes, actually. And I want them to not think like people when I’m ordering them around. People think things through, way their options, factor in their own vices and whims, and in the meanwhile someone gets hurt because they delayed,” I said. “I only order them around when there’s a crisis, or we’re in training to be prepared for a crisis. The rest of the time they’re my friends and I treat them as such. Speaking of… Here, Rarity. Have something to eat.”

“And risk getting crumbs on my dress in front of the Princess?!” Rarity countered. “There’s already so many dangers around me. Don’t bring more!”

“Calm down, Rarity. It’s just a dress. It’s lovely, by the way, but you can always make more. And the Princess won’t even notice if you’ve gotten crumbs on it, she’s too busy trying to find the bottom of her teacup,” I said.

As we watched, the Princess feinted like she was taking a sip, causing Mrs Cake to accidently overflow the cup with an unneeded refill. While the panicking hostess was fleeing in search of a towel to clean it up, the Princess smirked and rapidly downed her teacup… only to realize her mistake shortly thereafter as she got to her hooves with a familiar dance that was a bit comical to see on such a large and normally graceful mare. Twilight pointed her toward the mares’ room, where she quickly took her leave.

“Oh, thank Celestia, Celestia is gone!” Rarity said, before absolutely devouring the muffin in mere moments, her magic sweeping free all of the crumbs that spilled before she went back to looking like nothing had happened. “Whew, you’re a lifesaver Cloud!”

“Anytime. Any word from Prince Blueblood?” I inquired.

“He should be here shortly… is that… that can’t be him,” she said, turning toward the door where we heard the guards stopping someone.

I strolled over to take a look, opening the window in the upper half to see Fluttershy starting to back away. “It’s okay boys, she’s with us. Come on in, Fluttershy,” I invited.

The guard stallions looked at me, and then nodded and opened the door, letting the pegasus enter.

“Oh, I’m so sorry I’m late,” Fluttershy said. Looking around the room and immediately cringing. “Oh no, she’s left already? I didn’t think I was that late…”

“You’re fine, Fluttershy. She’s just relieving herself after too much tea,” I reassured. “The hosts were a little overly aggressive with refilling her drink, and she got caught up in it… there she is now, why don’t you go meet her back at the table when she settles in, and have a chat with her.”

“Oh, no, I could never… she’s our ruler, I’m sure she doesn’t want to talk to little old me,” the pegasus deflected, quietly, positioning her hair so that she couldn’t see the princess as though that would prevent her from being seen.

“Kindness, you will report to Princess Celestia’s table and debrief her on recent events, including the state of the animals in your area,” I ordered.

“Sir, yes, sir,” she said with a salute, swallowing her fear and gathering her courage before trotting over to the Princess.

“You were just saying?...” Nanaki teased.

I rolled my eyes. “She needed the push. You disagree?”

“No, you’re right about that, but you didn’t have to resort to orders,” Nanaki said. “At least I doubt it. You’ve known these fine ladies longer than I have, I’ll admit. It might have taken longer, but I think a bit of gentle encouragement would have worked better, all things considered.”

“You’re probably right,” I admitted, sighing, and not meeting his eyes. “I didn’t mean to abuse my power-”

“It’s fine. You’re friends, and you still will be. She’ll understand when she’s had a chance to process it, if she hasn’t figured it out already,” Nanaki replied. “But it is good to be aware of it, and think of other options.”

I nodded, impressed at his thoughtfulness. It was a strong point in his favor, offsetting the points he had lost with all that talk about harems on the train. I still didn’t understand why all the other Element Bearers were okay with it, at least in theory. Especially Rainbow Dash, of all ponies. Was she just overcompensating for her earlier excessive jealousy with me?

“You’re rather introspective,” Nanaki commented. “I’m not used to accusing others of that.”

“You actually struck me as rather outgoing,” I countered.

“I can only blame that on being surrounded by so many lovely ladies,” he said with a smirk. “Honestly, I’m used to others leaving me alone, while I reciprocate. Before I changed, my appearance was a bit… unapproachable. But now, in this place with only the two of us humans around, everypony is eager to make my acquaintance. I suppose I owe you for giving us a good reputation.”

I shrugged. “I suppose so, but ponies are generally pretty friendly to begin with. Ponyville ponies even more so than most, or so they brag.”

Before I could continue, Princess Celestia stood rather suddenly. The movement drew our eyes, and brought attention to the fact there was a guard beside her. His armor was a darker blue, he had sharp fangs that hung outside his mouth when it closed, and wings like a bat or dragon rather than the feathered wings of the pegasi. The princess turned to Rarity and called out. “Miss Rarity, please accompany me outside. I would like you to come with me,” she said.

With that, the two mares left the building, along with the unusual guard. I followed as far as the door, seeing the two guards who had been there join the three, as well as another of the bat-winged ponies. A pair of pegasi in golden armor brought up a chariot, and the princess and those without wings boarded. I closed the door, not waiting to see them take flight.

“I wonder what that was all about,” I commented.

Fluttershy rushed up past me. “Princess! You forgot your pet!” she called out.

“To late, they’re gone. I don’t think you should stop them… there’s something important going on,” I said.

“But her bird… Philomena…” Fluttershy said.

“I’m sure you can keep her safe until she’s able to return,” I said. As she parted I looked around the room, noting the general reduction in nervousness. “Come on everypony. It’s supposed to be a party!”

The phrase practically summoned Pinkie Pie, along with an explosion of confetti, a change of music, and the emergence of deserts. From there the night increasingly became a blur.

When the sleep had finally cleared enough from my mind, I turned to Rainbow Dash. “We should just start dating again, if we’re just going to keep ending up like this,” I said.

“I would, but I promised Nanaki a date next week,” she replied.

The shock of it, the jealousy swirled through me, amplified enough by the nature of dreaming that it startled me awake.

The real Rainbow Dash snored lightly in my arms. I watched her sleep, my emotions in turmoil. I slipped in and out of sleep a few times until she finally stirred, late in the morning.

“Do you have a date with Nanaki?” I asked her while she was still bleary eyed.

“I wouldn’t do that to you, without your blessing,” she said, with a yawn, before nuzzling me. “Besides, there’s a line.”

“A line? Don’t tell me he’s actually going through with the whole harem nonsense?” I asked.

“Maybe? I don’t know. At this point I think he’s just sleeping around,” she said. “Don’t give me that look. Pinkie threw him a ‘private party’ the night we got back into town. Everypony knows what that means. And I heard him ask Applejack if she wanted to spend the night together. That doesn’t necessarily mean he’s going for all of us. Everypony knows those two don’t have a reputation and no prospects.”

“I didn’t know that,” I countered.

“Didn’t you? Why do you think Pinkie put that whole harem thing in the grid in the first place? Both yours and his?” Rainbow Dash asked. “Pinkie Pie’s too silly for any stallion to take seriously, and everypony knows she’ll throw ‘private parties’ when she gets the mood. For all the fun she has ‘shipping’ everypony else, I don’t think she believes she’ll ever have a special somepony. Not just her anyways.”

“What about Applejack?” I questioned.

“AJ? She’s just too busy to think about it. Her farm’s more work than her family can handle right now, and her time with us just makes that worse,” she said. “The bits are enough that it’s worth it for her. She needs to hire out some of the work in harvest and planting seasons, now that she can afford to do so, but she hasn’t figured out who she can trust with the work. So in the meantime, she barely has time to have sex, much less date. Trouble she has is there aren’t a lot of farmponies in the area that aren’t cousins of hers, and not a lot of non-farmponies that are interested in taking on the role. Big Mac’ll probably attract a mare from his physique alone, eventually, but AJ has no such guarantees.”

“You’ve thought about this a lot more than I realized,” I commented.

“What, you think pranks are the only thing Pinkie and I talk about? She’s the only pony that visits me at home,” the pegasus said.

“I thought your home was in the clouds. Fluttershy doesn’t visit?” I asked.

“Nah, she’s afraid of heights. Pinkie just ties a bunch of balloons to herself and floats on up. Don’t ask me how that works,” Rainbow said.

“Buoyancy,” I said. “And whatever magic fuels Pinkie’s nonsense. So you two have sorted out everypony’s relationship problems, or just our friends’?”

“A few others, too. And at this point their more… recorded than sorted,” she said. “Flutters is too shy, that should come as no surprise. We’re pretty sure she’s a virgin, and we’re pretty sure she’s not going to start anything with anypony ever. So unless somepony starts something with her, she’ll probably stay that way. Rarity’s trouble is she’s too good for anypony in Ponyville. But… between you and me, I doubt she’s good enough for Prince Cheater. Especially if she holds him to the same standard you did.”

“You think Blueblood will leave her, after everything I did to make ‘them’ possible?” I asked, annoyed at the thought.

“Leave her? Probably not. But as the Element of Loyalty… I don’t think he has any,” Dash said. “I’m sure he’ll string her along until she gets fed up with him. I’d buck him in the face for it, as soon as I catch him, but I’m sure it’d hurt Rarity… at least up until the point she does it herself.”

“But you don’t have a problem with Nanaki sleeping around?” I questioned.

Rainbow shook her head. “He’s honest about it, has been from the beginning. He isn’t promising anypony anything but what he’s delivering.” She thought about it a moment. “Be completely honest with me… back when you were dating Prince Blueblood… if he had suggested a threesome with Rarity instead of sneaking around on you, would you have gone for it?”

I blushed fiercely and made a few false starts at answering the question. “Maybe,” I admitted, finally. “It’s not like I’ve never thought of Rarity that way. And… I can’t say I’ve never thought of having a threesome.”

“Great. So… you, me, and Nanaki?” she suggested. After a bit of blushing on my part she continued. “Relax, I’m just teasing. I know you’re not ready for anything like that. But seriously? If you want him all to yourself, you need to be clear about it, sooner rather than later. And we can’t do this anymore.”

“We’ll still be friends,” I promised, before we got quiet for a bit. At length, I noted “I didn’t know you were into all of this relationship stuff.”

“I’m not. But Pinkie is. And sometimes being a loyal friend is about talking about what your friend wants to talk about,” Rainbow pointed out. “Even if it’s not how awesome I am.”

I thought a moment before giving her a squeeze. “You’re a beautiful mare, an incredibly loyal friend, an amazing flyer and a critical member of our team.”

She blushed at the stream of compliments. “All true, but what brought all that on.”

“Just trying to be a better loyal friend,” I said with a grin.

Before we could follow that train of thought any further, we were interrupted by an insistent knocking on the door. “Cloud! Magic! Please, come help!” Fluttershy called from the other side of the door.

“Can I have a minute?” I asked, reaching for my clothes. She mumbled something that was probably affirmative, so I dressed myself quickly, while Rainbow Dash did the same.

When I answered the door, Fluttershy glanced at Rainbow, blushed a moment, but refocused on me. “I really need your help, Cloud. I’ve tried everything, but Philomena is getting really sick.”

“I’ll help any way I can, but I’m no healer. Have you asked Nanaki?” I inquired, as we began following the yellow pegasus back to her cottage.

“He’s staying with her now, but his materia can’t do anything for her. I was going to ask Twilight next, but… she’s really close friends with the Princess, and she doesn’t know I took Philomena home, and it was your idea to begin with…” Fluttershy continued quietly.

“I’ll take a look before we call for Twilight. It’s a good thing Dash is here, in case we need to get her quickly,” I offered.

The trip to Fluttershy’s place was short, as she was my closest neighbor. Nanaki greeted us as we entered. He was watching over what looked to be a plucked chicken, dying of some horrible disease.

“We’ve tried everything to keep her feathers on. Even glue,” Fluttershy said. “She keeps popping them off with her coughs, or even plucking them out. And I can’t get her to rest, or eat her soup, or anything.”

“Even Esuna does nothing for her,” Nanaki added. “I’m at a loss as to what to do for her.”

“Maybe you could just hold her, and try to feed her the soup?” Fluttershy inquired.

“I guess?” I said, and took the bird into my arm, letting the ice pack that had been on her head fall to the table, and took up a spoon in the other hand. “Here you go… come on,” I said, trying to navigate the utensil into the bird’s mouth as she squirmed, turning her head.

Her beak stopped chattering, at least, but she started to get really warm to the touch. “Here, give her this medicine,” Fluttershy suggested, offering a dropper. I took the medicine and offered it to the bird, but she squirmed more, refusing to take it. The rising heat made me more and more concerned, so I made a stronger effort to get it into her mouth.

A knock on the door distracted the bird just long enough for me to get the medicine into her mouth. However, rather than help her with her rising fever, or any of her other symptoms, ‘defeating’ her in that sense proved enough to trigger my magic. Red light flared even as a startled Twilight Sparkle looked on from the open doorway. When the light subsided, I was left with a red materia in my right hand, while a healthy, red-plumed, impressive looking ethereal bird stood upon my left arm, looking every bit as surprised as the rest of us.

“Philomena?” Twilight asked. “What was Celestia’s pet doing here?! And now you made her a summon?!” Her mane began to frizz out. “It’s been nice knowing you, Cloud. Hopefully Nanaki will work out better.”

Chapter 36: Secret of My Excess

“Everyone, let’s move out. Weapons free. Our objective is not to get another dragon’s blood our hands, but we will not let them kill us, or the children, if there is any way we can prevent it. I know we’re tired, but keep alert,” I said, as I started down the trail of destruction the alleged dragon had left behind. “Kindness, I know we let you out of it last time because you’re afraid of dragons, but are coming this time. Stick close. You’re our best chance of talking it down before things do become violent. If that fails, you have permission to withdraw.”

“About the, uh, knowing how to fire this thing… perhaps a few pointers before we’re in the thick of it?” Nanaki inquired. I stopped long enough to run him through the features: trigger, sights, safety switch and such. Let him fire off a few rounds at a tree before he nodded. “Let’s hope it doesn’t come to this, but at least I can put bullets in the right direction. And I still have my own materia.”

“It was all healing in nature, wasn’t it?” I asked, receiving a nod of confirmation. “I just hope they’re in good enough shape for you to work your magic.”

Several ponies swallowed nervously at the thought, while Nanaki gave a determined nod. We started on our way again, getting a little further before our reinforcements galloped up behind.

“Where’s Spike?” Twilight asked.

“No sign of him. Unless he somehow grew a few dozen feet in height since we last saw him,” I said. “Whatever attacked the clubhouse probably got him too. Luckily the trail is pretty easy to follow. Now that we’re together we should hurry. The sooner we get to the end of this trail, the less opportunity for something we can’t fix to happen.”

Nanaki lent his All materia to Rainbow Dash, so she could Haste all of us at once, and we rushed off into the woods, following the trail at a full gallop. The trail swung down to where the Diamond Dogs had had their mining operations. A massive hole now led into the cavern. All about the cave were claw-rent sections of wall and nearby piles of steaming mud.

“What do you make of all that?” Nanaki questioned.

“The dragon stopped for a snack,” Twilight suggested. “Dragons eat gemstones. It probably just scooped them out of the walls of the mine and spit out the dirt.”

“The trail continues over there,” I said, pointing out the next path of destruction on the far side of the clearing. “And I can guess where it ends.” The moon was obscured by a trail of smoke drifting up from a familiar mountaintop, nowhere near the volume it had been when last we had gone that way.

Fluttershy landed beside me, pressing her head into my hand for me to comfort her as we walked. I spared her a minute or so of petting while Rainbow Dash refreshed our magical acceleration. “Come on, everyone. Move out!”

We made it to the top of the mountain without incident, stopping to regroup around the mouth of the cave. Snores were audible from within, the stream of smoke oscillating with the sound.

“Kindness, you’re on point. Use your stealth to evaluate the situation, then report back to us. If you can evacuate the children safely, or otherwise deal with the crisis safely on your own, I’ll trust your initiative. If you need us to fight the dragon, just scream. If you need us to help in another way, shout ‘help!’. Got it?” I said.

“I think so,” Fluttershy said, barely audibly. “Just… wait out here for now.”

She quickly became visible only as a faint ripple where her cloak’s camouflage didn’t quite keep up with her slow, cautious movements. We watched it until it became impossible to know if we were really seeing it or imagining it, arrayed in cover outside the cave.

“This sure brings back memories, right Cloud?” Rainbow Dash whispered.

“I wasn’t here for it last time,” Twilight said. “Was it quite so… intense?”

I shook my head. “Not quite. There weren’t any potential hostages to worry about. Look, she’s coming back.”

Fluttershy returned, decloaked, eyes wide and having trouble focusing on anything while her cheeks were as red as Applejack’s wares. “I was not prepared to see that.”

“What was it, sugarcube?” Applejack inquired. “Are the fillies alright? And what about little Spike?”

“The fillies are all sleeping peacefully,” Fluttershy assured. “As for ‘little Spike’... I wouldn’t use that phrase, per se…”

“Spike?!” Twilight called out, as she galloped into the cave, leaving the rest of us behind.

“We’d better follow her,” I said, and soon the rest of us were in pursuit, except for Fluttershy, who seemed to be making a vague attempt to warn us against it.

Well before I could see what was going on, another sense gave me forewarning, as the smell of smoke was overpowered by the smell of sex. I wondered if Fluttershy and Twilight Sparkle would have been able to place the smell. Nanaki and Rainbow Dash obviously did, judging by the glances they gave me, and I suspected it was the reason Applejack broke into a full gallop, quickly overtaking even Twilight.

Applejack came to a stop just inside the cave, staring in disbelief. Twilight stopped beside her, a loud crunch of glass making her wince and the snoring stopping. I caught up to them shortly thereafter, as the inhabitants of the cave had just begun to stir, looking on at the scene over the backs of the two mares.

A massive purple and green dragon lay on his back in the cave, just starting to rouse. The five missing fillies all lay atop him, four sprawled across his massive chest and belly, while Sweetie Belle was settled between his legs. Looking at them gave me a painful headache, as geometry seemed to be on vacation, the space there warped somehow. As they began to wake and separated themselves, a member several times the filly’s size removed itself from her depths before ultimately returning to wherever it is dragons hide those things. Only when the process was done did I notice her flank was freshly marked with a likeness of Spike’s face.

“Spike?!” Twilight demanded.

“Oh, um… hi Twilight,” the dragon said in a far deeper voice than we were used to from the little dragon. “I can explain!”

“Somehow I highly doubt that,” I said. “The physics alone…”

“I did that… I made my first spell!” Sweetie Belle said proudly. “It came to me right when I earned my cutie mark.”

“Your special talent is having underaged sex with a forty foot dragon?” I asked, incredulously. “I know the princesses said my coming here disrupted destiny somehow, but this is a lot worse than I realized.”

“Well, when you put it that way,” Sweetie Belle said, looking ashamed of herself.

“Hay! Don’t make fun of her cutie mark!” Scootaloo demanded, standing on Spike’s chest on her hind legs to look down on us more. “She hasn’t even learned levitation yet and she’s mastered an amazing new spell that nopony else ever has!”

“Well, I don’t know if that’s true,” Twilight said, “but it’s definitely an impressive feat, speaking strictly thaumatologically. But that doesn’t excuse the fact that she seduced my little Spike. And apparently showed off in front of an audience. And also, why is my little Spike 40 hooves tall!?”

“Well we weren’t, strictly speaking, an audience…” Diamond Tiara admitted.

“Each time he was with another of us, he got bigger,” Apple Bloom said. “We would have had to stop after the second if Sweetie hadn’t come up with her spell.”

“I can’t but feel this was my fault somehow,” Nanaki said. He looked over to Pinkie Pie for her thoughts on the matter, only to find her circling a space on a grid featuring Spike and five smaller pony heads.

“No, it’s my fault. I waited too long to have ‘the talk’,” Twilight said.

“Was this actually included in your outline?” I inquired.

“Well, I did have a section about polyamorous relationships,” Twilight said. “But no I didn’t foresee him becoming enormous as a side effect.”

“So… is there a risk we’re about to have a half dozen half dragons running around in the near future?” I asked Twilight.

“No, no, no,” Sweetie Belle said. “Mixed species couples almost never get pregnant without magic involved.”

“You mean like that spell that earned you your cutie mark?” I asked.

“What? That… that’s not what it does,” Sweetie Belle said, though a bit of panic was rising in her voice.

“Alright, don’t anypony panic. If it happened, it happened, and we’ll deal with it from here,” Applejack said. “Either way, I think everypony should be getting home to their nice warm beds-”

“No,” Spike said firmly, forcefully enough that everyone took a half step back instinctively. “I’m plenty warm for all of them to sleep here, aren’t I, my precious mares?”

“He is decidedly comfortable to lay on,” Silver Spoon assured, blinking down at us without her glasses. “Both in terms of give and warmth.”

“That’s not really the point. Aren’t your parents missing you?” Applejack asked.

“My parents were informed I would be spending the night with the other Elements,” Silver Spoon said. “Though admittedly, we are no longer in the building we expected to be in. I can explain that when I return to them in the morning.”

“My parents disowned me,” Diamond Tiara pointed out.

“My parents are out of town, and I’m pretty sure my foalsitter was doing pretty much the same thing with her colt-friend tonight,” Scootaloo said. “She’s probably glad I’m out of her mane.”

“None of which excuses having an orgy at your age,” I pointed out. “Especially when it was obviously having an unusual effect on Spike.”

“How do you know it’s unusual?” Spike said. “You don’t know anything about dragons. Maybe this is just how dragons grow up.”

“So you think the last dragon to sleep here got that big by having a lot of sexual partners?” I inquired.

“That’s… one possibility?” he offered.

“Anyways, I’m not leaving him,” Sweetie Belle said. “We’re destined to be together, obviously. The flank doesn’t lie.”

“Yeah!” Spike said, covering her loosely, but possessively with a massive, clawed hand, easily big enough to pick up one of the fully grown ponies without difficulty. While it might have been intimidating for anyone else to be in the position, Sweetie Belle was clearly pleased to have his hand around her.

“And the other four? Are you all serious about becoming a herd now?” I asked. “And moving out here to the mountains? Spike won’t be able to live in Ponyville anymore.”

“Well, I wasn’t trying to move out or nothin’,” Apple Bloom said. “Sorry, Spike. It’s been fun, and maybe we’ll do it again sometime…”

“Yeah, I still need to go to school, and practice my moves, and all that…” Scootaloo added.

“I’m going to have to decline as well,” Silver Spoon pointed out.

Diamond Tiara frowned, thinking things through.

“No, you’re all mine!” Spike said. “I love you all, I won’t let you go!”

He stopped when I landed on his snout, the tip of my blade inches from his eye. “You are going to let them go. For Sweetie Belle’s sake. She’s a bit young to be a widow.”

“You think you can stop me? I’m the Element of Power, and now I have the body to prove it. Sorry girls,” he said as he slowly rotated to get up on all fours, depositing the fillies on the ground as he met my gaze even past my blade. “You want I fight? I will protect what’s mine!”

“SPIKE!” Fluttershy screamed as she appeared in the air near his other eye. “You should be ashamed of yourself! These young fillies entrusted you with sharing that special moment in their lives where they lose a part of their innocence, and you repay them by acting like you own them?! Tearing them away from their families, school, and everything they know just because you got too big for you bed?! Look at them! Do you love them? Really! Then let them go! Even Sweetie Belle doesn’t deserve to be stranded way out here with only you. You should be amazed and grateful to have even one mare in your life that loves you!”

As the pegasus unleashed the power of her Stare on the young dragon, he seemed to shrink back away from her. At first it was just a matter of posture, but as his snout became too small for me to balance on it became clear it was more than that. He was down to my height when Sweetie Belle interposed herself between him and Fluttershy.

“That’s enough, Fluttershy!” she yelled back. “He just wants to be with us and keep us safe. How is that so bad? This wasn’t even his idea, it was mine. I wanted him. I wanted to share him with my friends. Now leave him alone. Haven’t you done enough?”

“Actually… I think she has,” Nanaki pointed out. “Assuming he can keep from getting bigger again, he should do fine in Ponyville as he is now.”

“He’ll need a new bed,” Twilight said. “And probably a bigger room at the library.”

“You’re down to the size you were after just two of us,” Sweetie Belle said. “Who else were you thinking?”

“Me, of course,” Diamond Tiara broke in. “I’m the only other one who didn’t say she had somewhere else to be. Besides, I am the greatest…”

“You are pretty great, DT, but I was more just thinking of keeping an open relationship with the other four of you,” Spike admitted, as he rested a hand affectionately on Sweetie Belle’s shoulder. “I mean, if you want to…”

“Hmmf. You could have at least lied about it,” Diamond said. “You owe me that much after you smashed up my home.”

“You can stay with me for now,” I offered. “I’ll even take the couch if you want the bed. It’s not much but-”

“Thanks, Magic!” she said, hugging my leg. “Just let me find my tiara…”

“And my glasses,” Silver Spoon stated, before picking up the remnants from where Twilight had stepped on them. “What’s left of them anyways…”

“Apple Bloom, you’re going home with your sister. Scootaloo, Rainbow Dash can get you home safely. Spike and Sweetie Belle…” I looked to the others for suggestions.

“We’ll go home to the Carousel Boutique,” Sweetie said. “Until Rarity gets back, we’ll use her bed.”

“Alright… but if you need anything, anything at all, you know where to find me,” Twilight said. “And tomorrow you’re both getting ‘The Talk’ from me. No more excuses.”

“Couch or bed,” I asked as we got into the house.

“Couch is fine. Beggars can’t be choosers,” Diamond Tiara said.

“I asked, that means you can choose,” I countered.

She looked at the bed again and then shook her head, climbing onto the couch. “It’s fine. You’re a lot bigger than I am.”

We were quiet a moment, as I shed some of my clothing, before climbing into bed. “Did you really want to get in a relationship like that?”

“You mean me and Spike?” she questioned.

“I mean you, Spike and Sweetie Belle. You acted offended at the end that he didn’t choose you, at least not as a second wife. Or marefriend anyways,” I clarified. “Did you really want to have a life like that?”

She looked away. “Beggars can’t be choosers.”

“You really need to stop saying that,” I said. “If you want to wear that tiara, you can’t be begging for love.”

She took the tiara off her head and look at it intently. “Am I really worthy to wear it anyways?”

“Tell me you are like you believe it, and everypony else will,” I said.

“Easy as that?” she said.

“To start,” I answered. “The hard part is living with the consequences. Everyone makes mistakes. When you lead, you can do even greater things with the help of your subordinates. That means you can make even greater mistakes.” I held my own tiara in my hand and studied it, the Element of Magic. It seemed to have lost quite a bit of its luster, but I didn’t know if that was the dim lighting, the effects of the death of the Tree of Harmony, or just my own disillusionment with myself. “You have to have confidence. There isn’t always time for self doubt and deep analysis. When the time comes to choose, you have to choose and bear the responsibility for the outcome. Even when you aren’t the one to deal the killing blow.”

“Somehow I don’t think we’re talking about Spike anymore,” Diamond said, looking up at me.

I tossed the Element on a small table. “Not every decision is about death. Some are about life,” I said, turning to her. “Do you want that kind of life? I think Sweetie and Spike will still welcome you into it, if that’s what you want. Just tell me why.”

She thought in silence for a moment.

“What’s really bothering you?” she came back with eventually.

“Nanaki,” I admitted. “I want him for myself. I think. Maybe it’s just because he’s the only other human here. I mean, we haven’t even been on a single date. What claim do I have to him? But I don’t want to be just one of his seven mares. Honestly, I don’t think he even looks at me with as much lust as he does my friends. He just got here and the ponies are already more attractive to him than one of his own kind? That’s just weird.”

“Well, we are pretty great,” Diamond teased. “And didn’t you have a marefriend already? Loyalty, right?”

“It took me months to even consider ponies that way,” I countered. “And even then it was only because there wasn’t anyone else to consider. That’s not really the point though.”

“The point is you want him to yourself but you’re not willing to fight for him,” Diamond said, before tossing her own tiara onto the small table, where it landed atop my own. “I was willing to share to get anything. Are you?”

“I keep wondering if I should,” I said. “But no. I’m not.”

“Then here’s what you’re going to do. Tomorrow, you go down to the town hall and fill in the adoption paperwork. Then you tell Nanaki you’re taking him on a date. And you make it clear, in no uncertain terms, that if he wants this,” she said, gesturing at me, “that it’s all or nothing. He either puts a ring on your… wherever a human would put a ring. He either marries you, or gives you up forever. And if he gives you up, you find yourself somepony better. Somepony who appreciates you.”

“Adoption papers?” I asked. “Who said I’m adopting you.”

She smirked at me. “I did. I’ve made up my mind, and I’ll deal with the consequences. If you want to stop me, I’m going to fight hoof and mouth to make it happen, so you’d better be ready for a fight.”

I looked at her, one eyebrow raised, until I couldn’t help but smirk back. “You’re not going to beg me for it?”

“Choosers can’t be beggars,” she said.

Noise echoed through the darkness. They were clopping hoofsteps, she knew, though she wouldn’t have recognized them as such. The echos here made anything that distant impossible to make out accurately.

“Hello?” she called out quietly. “Is that you, Stocky?”

“Sshhh…” the voice hissed back, before gently placing a tray before her. She could barely smell it, because it had gone cold. The bread was stale, and the sauce was starting to turn. But to the starving mare it was the sweetest ambrosia the gods could dare to dream of, and in moments all that remained was a smudge on her snout. “Keep it quiet, or the others will hear. And you know what they’ll do to you. To me, if they find out I’ve been helping you.” His long tongue darted out, cleaning off every last morsel. It felt more marvelous than making out with her fiance, even though her magical senses told her there was no love behind it. Maybe they were just blinded, somehow? The crystals here seemed to shut out all her other magic. But she could still see her own love, flowing out to her savior.

“Thank you so much, Stocky,” she whispered, tears in her eyes. “I’d be lost without you. Be careful. I…”

“Ssshh…” he hissed again, placing a holed hoof on her mouth. “No need to say it. I’d better go while I can.” Quietly he clopped off again, carrying the empty plate back toward the palace above. When he was well out of the pink alicorn’s sight, green flames washed over him, restoring his disguise as a service mare.

A pair of changelings disguised as thestrals stopped him on his way back up. “So, you finally ‘stick it to her’?” One of them asked, smirking.

“Not yet. There’s an art to these things,” Stock Holmes answered quietly. “She’s already giving me more than I can eat, as it is. That fun will come in due time.”

“Just promise you’ll let me take your place from time to time,” the other guard said.

But Stock shook his head. “No, not with this one. She’d know, and then that’d be all she was good for. This one will feed half the hive if we let her.”

Chapter 37: Meteorain

“So, that happened,” I concluded my tale. “Diamond Tiara took my invitation to spend the night at my place, and insisted I take it a giant leap further by adopting her when the town hall is open tomorrow. And Spike is staying with Sweetie Belle at Rarity’s place. Speaking of which… do you know where Rarity is, and what’s going on with her? We haven’t heard anything since a couple of those night ponies called her and your sister away from the party.”

“She is here in Canterlot,” Luna said, “attending to her betrothed. The young Prince was injured in an incident that has us somewhat concerned. My thestrals are looking into the matter more deeply as we speak. He will recover before long, though, and then I expect Miss Rarity to rejoin you in Ponyville.”

“Great. I hope she doesn’t get too mad when she learns what’s going on with her sister and Spike,” I said. “Also… are there any legalities or the like we need to worry about with the young couple or their friends?”

“Mmm, that depends. The fillies who have cutie marks are considered mature enough to consent on that basis. Scootaloo’s parents could file rape charges, which might land on either Spike or Twilight Sparkle as his legal guardian, depending whether he was to be considered an adult. We don’t have much precedence for such things for dragons, so it would be between the two of them to decide unless they couldn’t agree and made the court do so,” Luna began, a little annoyed at having to delve into such things. “Apple Bloom’s parents are deceased, so it would fall on her legal guardian to make a similar charge for her. I’m not honestly sure which Apple that would be. Her grandmother, perhaps? In any case, the Apples have a long history of fecundity going back to before I was banished; I’d be less surprised by an enforced betrothal from them than a rape suit.”

After a moment’s silence, she refocused on me. “Honestly, your adoption of the other filly is a stickier matter. I don’t believe her parents ever formally disowned her. Shouting mean things at your child isn’t enough to make it legal. And from what I’ve seen, I doubt her father would give her up formally so easily.”

“So I might not be able to adopt her,” I said.

“Her parents could probably try to accuse you of foalnapping at this point,” Luna said. “We would put a stop to that, of course, but they have enough to have you arrested. On the other hoof, perhaps you could do the same to them?”

“I’m not interested in petty vengeance, and I don’t think DT is either,” I said. “What would be the point of that?”

“Give them an ultimatum,” Luna suggested. “They either take their daughter back into their home, or fill in the paperwork so you can adopt her instead. It will be much smoother if they do than if you try to acquire the foal without their cooperation.”

“Either way is a win for Diamond, assuming she even wants to go back. And if they do neither?” I asked.

“You bring to the authorities the fact that they have left their foal to shiver in an uninsulated clubhouse in the woods night after night, and now refuse to let her into her own home even now that the structure is naught but splinters,” Luna pointed out. “I can discreetly escalate things from my end to see to it the matter resolves speedily, and that you end up as her guardian when it is all said and done. I don’t think anypony wants it to go down that route, so it won’t.”

“Alright… I guess I know what I’m doing tomorrow then,” I said.

“During my sister’s time anyways. Don’t forget the night though,” Luna pointed out.

“Hmm?”

“It’s the centennial meteor shower. I’m quite excited about it myself,” Luna said, sounding proud. “First one since I returned from banishment. I plan to make it extra special.”

“Do you actually make them somehow?” I questioned. I knew she had a lot of control over the night sky, but I wasn’t sure how much.

She nodded in response. “I spend a little power each night herding space rocks, gathering them in clusters to be available for nights like tomorrow night. I could do it more often if I really tried, but at the pace I do it, it takes nearly a hundred years just to get the materials together. The last dozen I was… not in a very good space emotionally. They were more my tantrums writ large on the sky than the celebrations they once were. It’s time to make up for that.”

“Sounds like it will be incredible… I should ask Nanaki to watch it with me,” I said. “I think he mentioned something about an interest in astronomy.”

“Don’t tarry,” she said. “By the sound of it, that one is likely to have a date booked rather quickly.”

“Right…” I said. “Oh! What about your sister and her pet bird? Philomena? How much trouble are we in?”

At the sound of her name, the phoenix appeared within the dreamscape, landing on my shoulder and trilling a greeting to Luna.

“Hello, Philly!” Luna greeting with a smile, before looking at me more seriously. “She won’t be happy to lose her pet. I may need to bring my sister her for visits, or perhaps she’ll insist you turn the materia over to her. Whoever holds the gem can see the bird, right?”

“See and hear her, yes,” I confirmed. “She might come in handy with her fire powers, but she belongs to the Princess to begin with. I won’t complain if she asks for her pet back.” After a moment I looked at Luna. “You can bring others into each other’s dreams?”

“Does that surprise you? There is much I can do within the realm of dreams,” Luna said. “Such as combining dreams with one another, and more.”

I thought about it a bit more, and then shook my head. “I’ll not ask any favors of the sort from you. The temptation to abuse it is too much.”

“I’m more than capable of saying ‘no’ to any such abuse,” Luna said, looking at me curiously. I think she wanted to know what I had considered asking of her, but when I declined to speak further, she spread her wings. “Enjoy the rest of the night, Lady Strife. I will resume my rounds now.”

I nodded, and she took flight, winking out of existence. Only when I was sure she was gone did I loosen my grip on my thoughts, and let the dream version of Nanaki appear, placing a firm hand on each shoulder as he started to give me a massage.

Nanaki and I met on the road back to Ponyville, where the path from my home merged with the path from Sweet Apple Acres. Diamond Tiara trotted a respectful distance ahead of us, so as to pretend not to be listening in. Just to make sure I didn’t miss the opportunity, the filly looked at me, nudging her head toward Nanaki a few times before refocusing on the road ahead of her.

“Do you have any plans for tonight, Nanaki?” I inquired.

“I do, actually,” he said. “Twilight and I are going to go watch the meteor shower together. I thought it a perfect chance to indulge our mutual love of astronomy. I’m actually heading over there now to read a few of her books on the subject.”

I blushed fiercely, falling a few steps behind. “You and Twilight, huh?”

Nanaki studied my face as we walked in silence for a bit. “It bothers you, obviously. You had something else in mind. A date?”

“Isn’t that what you had planned?” I asked pointedly.

Nanaki shrugged. “If Twilight were more socially aware, she might take it as such. As she is? She’ll probably take it on face value.”

“And what is it to you?” I asked.

“An opportunity to get to know one of my new friends better, as well as my new home. And indulge in something at once new and familiar,” he said. “Despite Pinkie’s ambitious gridwork, there’s really no need for things to become any more intimate between me and the librarian. As lovely as she is, both within and without, I doubt she’ll start anything and I certainly won’t press.”

“You’re really going to keep it as ‘just friends’,” I asked.

“Believe it or not, that is essentially how things are with Pinkie and Applejack as it stands. One night ‘in the hay’, figuratively speaking, is not a relationship,” he commented. “I’m sure you can relate, given what I hear of you and Miss Dash.”

I blushed anew. “I suppose… I can excuse a few indiscretions, if you can excuse my own…”

“We have no relationship ourselves, as of yet. I can hardly fault you for what you’ve done before meeting me, at least in that regard,” Nanaki said. “Besides, every healthy adult has such desires, regardless of race or gender.”

I hesitated a moment. “I’d be interested in changing that,” I said. “The ‘no relationship’ part, I mean. Tomorrow night?”

“I promised to attend Fluttershy’s tea party tomorrow night,” he countered.

“Great. I’ll meet you there,” I said. “She can be our chaperone slash awkward third wheel.”

That earned a laugh from him. “Then I’ll just have to invite you to Rainbow Dash’s stunt show in a few days.”

“Can’t, she already invited me,” I laughed. “Though I can’t rule out the possibility she was hoping for an intimate conclusion there.” As we got into town, our paths diverged. “I’ll see you at Fluttershy’s, Nanaki. Right now I’ve got some paperwork to deal with.”

“My condolences,” he said with a chuckle. “I’ll see you then.”

We spent a good couple of hours at Town Hall getting the situation sorted. We had to find and hire an attorney, a mare by the name of Dotted I, to help us sort out the paperwork and how to approach her parents. By the time we left, I had a new briefcase filled with documents, ideally needing only a few signatures to start the adoption process.

“Does this kind of thing always take this long,” Diamond complained as we finally got out of the building.

“From my experience, Dotti was exceptionally quick about it,” I said. “We may be in for quite a bit more before this is over. I’ll spare you as much of it as I can.”

“Thanks but no thanks,” she said. “You’re not leaving me out of anything.”

I met her eyes a moment, seeing the determination that had grown there. I wondered how much she had grown up just from staying in the clubhouse a few months. But perhaps it was time she had a chance to be a foal again.

As we reached the estate, the gardner caught sight of us and fled into the main house. I didn’t sense any fear in the action, so I wasn’t surprised when the butler opened the door for us, and informed us that a sitting room had been prepared for us, and the masters of the house would be with us shortly.

I remembered the room as we waited there, enjoying the light refreshments that had been left for us. I had been there with Blueblood long ago. “You know, I’d really missed how good the water is here. Expertly filtered, and perfectly accentuated with just enough lemon. But the pastries just can’t compare to what Silver Spoon brings me.”

“I’ll have to try her cooking someday,” I said casually, watching the door and waiting. I made it through another lemon bar before a light rap at the door announced the impending presence of Mr. and Mrs. Rich.

“Miss Strife,” Spoiled Rich greeted me cooly, not meeting her daughter’s eyes. She offered a hoof and I grasped it briefly.

“My little Tiara,” Filthy said in hushed excitement, eying his wife nervously as he slipped a tight embrace around his daughter.

“Mr. Rich, Mrs. Rich. It’s good to see you both again,” I lied. “Unfortunately, I come bearing paperwork, and something of an ultimatum.”

“Oh, my. Must we jump straight to business like that? I believe we can have a tray of fresh scones out in short order,” Filthy suggested.

“No, Daddy. This has taken long enough as it is,” Diamond said. “It’s time she take back what she said or make it official.”

“What are you talking about?” Filthy said, acting unconvincingly unaware.

“Are you done hanging out with your so called friend in that rickety box in the trees?” Spoiled asked pointedly. “I won’t have you associating with that riff raff and living under my roof.”

“That’s actually what made this matter urgent. The clubhouse was recently destroyed. If you won’t take her back, then I need you to sign her away,” I said plainly, opening the briefcase and revealing the papers within. “I’ll take her in myself. It’s quite fitting, isn’t it? The leader of the Elements of Harmony raising the leader of the Elements of Greatness?”

“Put that paperwork away,” Filthy said. “We can’t go signing away our only child.”

“The clubhouse,” Spoiled said. “How was it destroyed? Monsters?”

“Spike, actually. He, umm…” Diamond started to explain but broke into a blush, unable to admit to the details in front of her own parents.

“Spike? The dragon colt? See, this is what you get for letting such lower class persons into your life,” Spoiled said. “What did you expect? If you moved back in here, I’m sure they would just destroy our home next.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Diamond said. “There’s no way that would happen again here.” She blushed, trading glances with me, reminding me of just how Spike’s growth had been spurred on in the first place.

“Nor under my roof,” I pointed out.

“Do you even have a roof?” Spoiled inquired. “I heard you were cobbling something together in the Everfree yourself.”

“It’s survived quite a few monster attacks, including being buried in snow by a windigo,” I pointed out. “I’ll admit it is quite a bit smaller than your own estate, but it’s been tested and proven many times.”

“Relax, Cloud. Everypony just relax,” Filthy suggested nervously. “I’m sure your house is just… lovely.” He couldn’t meet my eyes. I’m guessing he was imagining Diamond living there, and not liking that one bit.

“Go!” Spoiled said, as she got out the first page of paperwork and a fine quill pen, looking for the line to sign. “Live in your little monster-ridden hovel surrounded by peasants and dragons. You’re no daughter of mine anymore.”

“Remember that when everypony around town is singing my praises,” Diamond shot back. “If I hear of you taking any credit for your daughter I’ll make sure you regret it.”

“You’re still my daughter,” Filthy said more quietly.

“Don’t be ridiculous. Here’s your line to sign,” Spoiled retorted, shoving a signed paper to him.

“Spoiled, my love. Surely you’re taking this too far?” the stallion insisted.

“How can you say that after how she’s just spoken to me? Sign the paper,” Spoiled insisted.

“I’ll take good care of her,” I assured Filthy, resting a hand on his withers. “And I won’t stop you from visiting.”

Filthy was clearly torn, until he looked desperately to his daughter, and she nodded to him, eyes filled with confidence. That was the last push, and he took quill in hoof, signing away his greatest treasure.

The gardner met us on the way out, as we neared the gate. “From the master,” he said as he passed over a rather heavy bag of bits. Glancing back, I noticed we were out of clear line of sight from the main house, trees blocking any view Spoiled might have had of the transaction.

“It’s not necessary,” I said. “But thank you. And thank him.” I passed the bits over to Diamond Tiara.

We spent the rest of the day shopping. I paid for most things myself, as we were getting necessities like a new foal-sized bed. A few of her requests I insisted she pay from her own bits, and she quickly noticed the pattern.

“So I can have anything I want if I pay for it with my own bits?” Diamond said, trying again to count them.

“That’s generally how it works,” I said. “Ask me before getting anything bigger than you are, or alive. But you don’t need to ask about anything like that.” I nodded to the stuffed dragon she had purchased. It was blue with a silver underbelly, but I suspect it might have been green and purple if the option were readily available.

I had to borrow a cart from Applejack to move everything, and when we got home it made everything quite cluttered, adding the extra furniture. “We’ll start building additional rooms soon. Tomorrow, in fact.”

“We could have done that before buying me furniture,” Diamond pointed out.

“We could have, but I think you’ve gone without having a real bed for long enough,” I said.
She didn’t have an answer for that for a short time, before finally coming back with a simple “Thanks.”

I smiled back at her. “Leadership has done you wonders,” I said. “I still remember when you were… much less mature.”

“I guess that’s it? And here I thought it was living in a clubhouse making me grow up,” Diamond said.

“I’m sure it made you tougher. But you didn’t used to think as much about other people or their feelings,” I pointed out.

“Mmm,” she answered simply, before hopping onto my bed where I was sitting and draping herself across my lap. A hand instinctively moved to her, stroking her gently. “What about you? You changed quite a bit yourself even since I’ve known you.”

“I remembered who I was,” I said. “It’s… a lot to get into right now, but I wasn’t entirely in my right mind when I came to this world. I was confused, enough that I didn’t even realize I was confused. But… Discord, of all people, straightened me out. Right before he stabbed me with my own sword.”

“Ouch. But you got him in the end, right?” she asked.

I ignored John’s commentary on the matter. “Yes. I kept a part of him as a summon, and had the rest of him turned to stone and banished to the far side of the moon, where there is very little chaos to feed him. Though… with the Tree of Harmony gone, it’s probably only a matter of time before he escapes again.”

She placed a hoof on my other hand. “We’ll beat him again when he does.”

I nodded. “In the meantime… let’s go find a spot to watch the meteors.”

There was one particular hilly area on the edge of town, grassy and treeless, above the lights of the town below, where you could see the night sky amazingly well whenever there weren’t any clouds on the schedule. It was perfect for watching the meteor shower.

The whole town thought so, too. Luckily, it was a large area and a small town, so everypony had enough room to spread out a bit. Many ponies brought picnics. I brought a small snack for us, but it seemed a bit pathetic by comparison.

Luckily, Silver Spoon had gone all out. She waved us over to where the other Elements of Greatness were gathered. As we sat with them, I looked around, taking stock of the other Elements. Applejack was there with us, and took a seat by my side. She was clearly there to keep an eye on the fillies and their enlarged dragon friend.

Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie were on another rise, enjoying their own snacks and each other’s company. Twilight and Nanaki were setting up a telescope, and appeared to have forgone food altogether. They looked to be having a good time, in a perfectly chaste fashion, and I quickly stopped watching before I could start imagining impure motives for every casual contact between them. Rainbow Dash made an appearance shortly before the meteors began, darting in to land by Fluttershy, trading a hoof bump with Pinkie before snagging a muffin and settling in.

“How do you get used to it?” Spike asked me, lying on his back and looking up at the sky as the fiery streaks began to light up the night. “I mean, being so much taller than everypony.”

“It’ll grow on you,” I punned with a grin before answering more seriously. “It’s just the way things are, you can’t really help but get used to them eventually. In your case… maybe there’s some way you could reverse it and become as small as you were. Giving up Sweetie Belle entirely, maybe? But I don’t think that’s really worth even considering, do you?”

He shook his head fiercely, before oofing as the aforementioned filly hopped onto his belly. “You’re not talking about me behind my flank, are you?” she questioned good naturedly.

“We were just saying how he’s never getting any smaller because his love for you as made him this big,” I said.

“Aww, that’s a sweet way to put it,” Sweetie said, giving Spike a light kiss after he nodded his agreement. She twisted to lie on her back against his side, his left arm pinned around her as she watched Luna’s display. “Though maybe somepony ought to look into why he got so big, really.”

“Twilight doesn’t have any ideas?” I questioned.

“No, her library doesn’t have much about dragons at all,” Spike said.

“Zecora knows some things even Twilight can’t look up,” I said. “Otherwise we’d need to hunt down a better library or some actual dragons to consult with.”

“Let’s start with the zebra. You’re friends with her, right?” Sweetie Belle said.

“Not the closest, but yes. I’ll make time to visit her and ask about it someday soon,” I said. “Oh! Luna gave me a bit of word about your sister. She’s safe in Canterlot, but Prince Blueblood is in the infirmary, recovering from a blow to the head.”

“Did he deserve it?” Sweetie asked.

“Not that I know of,” I said. “But I can’t rule it out.”

“If he did… I’ll make sure Spike here gives him a fresh one when he comes by,” Sweetie said.

“I’m sure your sister will beat you to it,” I replied.

Interlude 2: Owl's Well That Ends Well

Spike woke to the radiant vision of pink and purple locks lit up by Celestia’s morning sun streaming past the thin, translucent curtains of Rarity’s bedroom. A smile spread across his face, and was soon matched by one on the white furred muzzle beneath the curls. Today was going to be a great day.

The two enjoyed each other’s presence before sharing a shower and a breakfast, before they parted ways for the day. While the filly headed for the schoolhouse, the dragon headed for the library. The sun shined warmly through a sky artfully sprinkled with pretty white clouds. The perspective from his new height took a bit of getting used to, though his considerable experience riding atop Twilight or other ponies made it a bit less strange than it would have been otherwise. But all in all, he could get used to this.

He had even started whistling by the time he opened the library door and stepped inside. When he did, he was greeted by the sight of a bird perched within the main library. It turned its head until it was facing the opposite direction of its body, looked at Spike with unreasonably large eyes that seemed to bore into his soul, and asked a single, simple, monosyllabic question. “Who?”

“It’s Spike, Twilight’s assistant,” Spike answered. “Who are you?”

“Who?”

“That’s what I’m asking you. Anyways, is Twilight in?” Spike inquired, trying not to lose that awesome feeling he’d started the day with.

“Who?”

“Twilight Sparkle. The librarian. Runs this place. Have you seen her?”

“Who?”

“Alright, forget it creepy bird. I’ll look for myself,” he finally said before heading upstairs and trying to find the mare that hatched him.

“Oh, Spike!” Twilight greeted as she stepped from her study to greet him near the top of the stairs. “I didn’t hear you come in. What brings you by?”

“Well, I guess I don’t live here anymore, but I am still your number one assistant, right?” Spike said. “I couldn’t just leave you hanging.”

“About that…” Twilight began.

A pang of fear surged through the dragon. Rapidly his mind started fighting over its validity. Was she getting rid of him? Or was he jumping to conclusions? Would it be so bad if she did? He had a real marefriend now, and perhaps he could use the time to go to school with his friends, or maybe get a paying job?

“I want you to meet my new number two assistant. Owlowiscious,” she said, trotting down the stairs toward the perched owl. “He came to me last night, when I was working late, and has proved quite helpful already.”

“Do you need another assistant?” Spike asked, a bit uneasily.

“Oh, Spike… no need to get jealous. He’s quite the night owl, if you’ll pardon my pun,” Twilight explained. “He’ll help me out when you’re out with Sweetie Belle, or the others.”

“Oh…” Spike said, thinking it through a bit. “Great. So we’ll have shifts then. Simple as that. So, what do you need help with first?” With that a bit of the earlier feelings managed to be restored.

“Mmm, that feels really good, Shiny,” the pink furred alicorn said as she stretched out luxuriously beneath the attentive hooves of her fiance. “You’ve gotten really good at back massages.”

“Anything for you, my love,~” the large, white unicorn said to his bride to be. His hooves were getting sore from all the hard work, but he wasn’t about to complain. The strain showed on his face despite his efforts though. And in his heart, where an undercurrent of annoyance and feelings of being taken advantage of had begun to cut into the purity of his love.

As hard as he hoped to hide it, she sensed it, easily. She could point it out, as the Princess of Love, but she knew a confrontation would only tear things down faster. Instead she tried another approach. “Anything?” she asked seductively, wiggling her flanks and flagging her tail partially, just enough to tease without revealing anything. Not that she wouldn’t.

“Not that,” Shining said firmly. “Not until we’re wed.”

The disguised Chrysalis snorted in annoyance, but stopped her attempt. She had already tried her hypnotism a few times to push past his inhibitions, but they were too deep seated. The hypnotism could do a lot to reframe his perception of reality, but she couldn’t get him to believe they were already married, and without that he held firm.

The trouble was, she didn’t really know how else to reward him. And without that he was feeling used. That just cascaded with the feeling of being drained that came from the fact he was literally being drained of energy through his love for the queen on a steady, ongoing basis. And if his love faltered, the connection would become much less efficient,

It was time for desperation, time to pull out all the stops and do something that all of her instincts screamed at her not to do. “Shiny? You’ve been so good to me. Is there anything you’d like to do?”

It took a minute for the stallion to register the opportunity and think through how best to use it, while he sat down, letting his hooves rest a bit. But slowly, a smile crossed his face. “Now that you mention it…”

The changeling queen shuddered in dread, already regretting her decision.

Far below them, an actual pink alicorn was up for a much ruder awakening. A bucket of water splashed over her, the closest thing to a shower she was going to get. At the same time a small bowl of watered down oatmeal was placed before her. It was her only meal for the day, at least as far as her guards knew, and she was somewhat grateful it was watered down, as they didn’t bother giving her proper drinks.

She was suffering from a great many maladies. The crystals that lined this cavern blocked out her magic, and that was becoming rather uncomfortable in a variety of ways. At first she had been concerned that the power was starting to build up inside her, trapped without a vent, giving her visions of spontaneously exploding. But after a few days it had tapered off and then receded, even to the point of feeling quite drained by now. That too had tapered off, and remained stable for quite some time now.

Another malady was a distorted sense of time. She’d long since realized her guards were subjecting her to ‘days’ of varying length, keeping her more off balance in that way, and unable to accurately judge how long she had been down there.

Thankfully, the one malady she had been spared was malnutrition. And that was all thanks to her beloved Stocky. The bug-pony had been sneaking table scraps to her from the somewhere, the palace or some noble’s house judging by the foods, and bringing them to her as often as he could. His shift partner, Stoic, had required some kind of bribing to let it slide, though Stock never discussed what exactly he had provided, whether it was a simple case of bits changing hooves or some other consideration.

Regardless, she owed a lot to her traitorous saviour, the one who would defy their queen and risk suffering her fate alongside her because he felt it was the right thing to do. She sighed, thinking of him fondly. Almost as fondly as her fiance, Shining Armor. Now that was a good looking pony, and sweet to be sure. But he had never risked his life just to bring her stale bread and soggy lettuce. He was brave enough to, perhaps, but she had never seen that herself, been the recipient.
If he saved her now, she’d be all over him, smothering him in gratitude in every way she could express it, but as it stood… somepony else was growing closer and closer to earning himself a bit of physical gratitude himself.

It was weird to think about a bug-pony in that sense. She had been universally repulsed by them at first. But as the days had stretched into weeks, her growing fondness for the one who fed her and the lack of anypony else to even consider any intimate contact with had combined to slowly deplete her inhibitions. She wasn’t ready yet, but by now the bug pony, a bit chubbier than the others and easily recognized as such, was looking cute enough to consider.

She wondered what he must be doing to get her the scraps that he did come away with. Any pony would be terrified at the very sight of him and call in the guards. So every trip he made must be fraught with danger. It left her worrying every time he left her sight that he might never come back to her. And she needed him to, and not just for the nutrition.

As hard as it was to admit, as much as it felt like cheating, she loved that bug.

Cracked Eggs, the omelette chef, used to like his job. He would wake up in his small but extremely comfortable bed in the servants’ quarters, set up his station in the main dining hall, and make three made-to-order omelettes before moving his station back to the kitchens, where he would make omelettes for all of his fellow servants when they were free enough to eat, ending with one for himself.

But these days he only made two omelettes in the main dining hall. The young mistress was gone, for some reason, moved out at such a young age. At first he had feared the worst, but the laundress’ had seen the filly around town, and confirmed that she was only a little the worse for wear, more in need of a good bath than a doctor.

That had been the case for a few months now. But today, something had changed. Neither of the masters were ordering omelettes. They just sat across the dining table from one another, glaring in a silence that was broken only by the occasional sip of coffee. Darn it all to Tartarus, Cracked hadn’t had a sip of his own morning brew. He counted on being out of the room quickly enough to get to it before his fatigue started showing outwardly. But now it had been several minutes of just nervously watching his employers have some kind of silent showdown about something.

“You’re dismissed,” Spoiled Rich finally said. It couldn’t have been to her husband, that wouldn’t make any sense. Wait, was he fired? Or just allowed to head back to the kitchen? Hopefully the latter, as he had hungry coworkers and a pot of hot coffee waiting for him back there.

“Is that how it was with our daughter?” Filthy Rich inquired of her, rhetorically. “Cracked, I’ll have a three-egg, with gouda, assorted peppers, and minced apple.”

Cracked looked back and forth between the two. Was he being asked to choose which order to obey? To pick sides? How was he supposed to pick?! There had to be a third way. “Gala, of course?” he asked as he started packing up.

“Of course,” Filthy said, glancing at him with a mix of hurt and confusion before looking back at Spoiled.

The mare herself looked with a mix of triumph and confusion, before fixing her smug grin on Filthy’s face.

A few minutes later the butler delivered Filthy’s omelette.

“Spike, can you get me Starswirl’s Arcanus Destinus, Glittershine’s Noteworthy Cutie Marks, and Gulligan’s Journey’s Overseas?” Twilight called out.

“On it,” Spike said as he started to make his way around the library, pushing the ladder about. “Or… not,” he said, as a feather landed on his snout. He sneezed, knocking himself off the ladder and burning up the top half of the rungs, while Owlowiscious winged his way to Twilight with the first of the books.

“Oh, thank you Owlowiscious. I didn’t realize you were awake,” Twilight said.

“And bucking for my job, it seems,” Spike groused as he watched from the floor, lying on his still stinging back while the bird swiftly delivered the other two volumes.

“What was that, Spike?” Twilight inquired.

“Are you going to be ready for lunch soon?” he asked her, louder.

“Lunch?” She looked out the window, noting the position of the sun. “It is about that time, but I’m just starting on cross referencing these three… Why don’t you start making it, I should be able to take a break by the time it’s ready.”

“Sure thing, Twilight,” he said, rolling to his feet to head to the kitchen. When he got there, he promptly hit his head on a low hanging pan, causing a cascade effect as he suffered a comic pratfall, without the benefit of an audience to laugh.

“Are you alright, Spike?” Twilight called.

“Who?” Owlowiscious voiced, but by now no one was confused by his monosyllabic utterances.

“I’m fine,” he called back, as he got to his feet and cleaned up after himself. “Just forgot how tall I am.”

He took his time putting lunch together, knowing full well Twilight would need longer than it took to assemble and cook a couple of burritos and side salads. As different as everything looked from his new height, he still had no trouble locating everything he needed, including the gems for his own meal.

As he cooked, he heard Twilight mutter something about another book, and moments later thank her owl once again as the tome made its way into her hands. He sighed, looking at the pan filled with onions, peppers and beans. “This is about the only help I can really give her anymore,” he said to himself quietly.

He called to her once the table was set with their meal. “Twilight, lunch is ready!” He took a seat and waited.

He didn’t have long to wait, as the unicorn took advantage of her mastery of teleportation to forego the stairs. “Why the long face?” she inquired.

“Twilight, I’m… I’m resigning,” he said.

“From the Elements of Greatness?” she inquired.

He shook his head. “From being your number one assistant. You’ve got a new assistant that’s better than I could be, and… honestly it’s time I start earning some bits of my own. I’m a lot bigger than I used to be, I’ve got a marefriend of my own now… I’m not saying I’m all grown up and I don’t need you anymore, far from it. But I’ve got some growing up to do, and I can’t put it off forever.”

Twilight stared at him, shell shocked, but since she didn’t say a word he kept going.

“I’ll come by every day for lunch… we’ll want to keep close, and somepony needs to make sure you eat,” he said. “I’m not sure exactly what I’m going to do, yet, but I’m sure I can find some ways to lend a claw here and there for now. Applejack never has a shortage of work at her farm, and Rarity can always use a good digger when she hunts gems. I’m sure I can find other ponies who are willing to spare a bit of coin for some work all around Ponyville, if I just look. And heck, maybe I’ll end up working as a cook. I’m not bad at it, I’m sure you agree.”

“Spike…” Twilight said softly and sadly.

“Don’t try to talk me out of it, Twilight. You hatched me, you raised me from an egg, and I never want to leave you out of my life. But I’ve changed, and now I need to change more before it’s all settled out,” he continued. “We’ll stay close, I promise. And I’m sure I’ll still need you. As a friend, and someone I can count on to find answers when I need them. And… no matter how close I am to Sweetie Belle now, I still think you’re the best pony in all of Equestria.”

Twilight closed her eyes, pinching back some of the tears as she laid a hoof on his arm. “I understand, Spike. I knew this day would come, but I never imagined it would be anytime in the next… decade, really. It seems far too soon, but then from all the books I’ve read, it seems like it always is. Every day for lunch. I’m holding you to that.”

“Every day,” he confirmed.

“Don’t worry, my love. I’m right here with you, and I’ll help you through every step of the way,” Shining Armor said to Chrysalis. “I’ll protect you with everything I’ve got.”

Chrysalis furrowed her brow at the infuriatingly thick tome before her, before another hoof reached in and flipped to a page with a particularly lusty wench depicted upon it, apparently playing some ancient instrument and singing out a no-doubt bawdy tune.

“Just play a bard,” the pegasus who owned the hoof directed her. “Since Gaffer won’t let you roll in at our level, it’s about the only way you’ll contribute much until you start levelling.”

“I’ll be nice,” the unicorn behind the cardboard screen offered. “I won’t make a point of targeting you unless you’re obviously abusing my generosity. And I’ll let your bard songs count for an extra +1 if we get to actually hear your singing voice.”

“Hey now, don’t get any ideas. She’s my fiance,” Shining Armor snapped at Gaffer.

“Now, now, Shining, I’m sure he didn’t mean anything by it,” Chrysalis lied. She was getting stuffed by the three other nerds’ infatuation with her far faster than they were filling up on the cheese puffs and chips. “I’m sure you can share the sound of my voice, at least,~” she added with a wink of the eye farthest from the white unicorn that nearly choked her on the surge of lust it triggered in the others.

“Alright… sure, no harm in that, as long as it stays just that,” Shining conceded. “Anyways, a bard’s not a bad idea, but only if you want to play one.”

“Relax, Shiny. I’m all yours, and you’re all mine,” she reassured. “I still need to pick a race, right… hmm… I think I’ll play a half pointy-ear. It says they get a +1 to seduction, that should help.”

“What would that possibly help with?” Shining inquired.

“Relax, Shiny, it’s just a game. I am all yours, but if you want your character to win my character’s hoof, your character will have to woo her himself,” Chrysalis said with a mischievous grin.

Regret marred Shining’s features for a moment, until it occurred to him that this was an opportunity as much as a challenge, and he nodded in determination. “Alright, game on.”

“Well if that’s all settled… Shining, can you guide her through the stat rolls while I get us started?” Gaffer said. “Ahem… you are all gathered together at a corner table in the Saucy Wench, the last inn on the road to Beardsville…”

“Here you are. A special treat this time,” Stock said. “A slice of a cake Princess Celestia herself was too full to finish. Don’t go getting too used to it, of course, but when I saw the opportunity I couldn’t help but think of you.”

Cadance leapt on it, literally, immediately regretting the exertion. She then stared at the cake in her hooves, and forced herself to eat it very slowly, savoring every bite, knowing she wouldn’t have such a treat again for quite some time. Stock just watched her quietly, savoring the surge of love from the captive mare and hiding his grin.

“I don’t know how to thank you,” Cadance said, somewhat dishonestly. Still, she smiled sincerely.

“You have a beautiful smile,” he said. “It’s quite the ‘thank you’ itself.” Not many changelings could flirt as smoothly in their native form. But he was a specialist. If changelings could get cutie marks, his would represent that somehow. Maybe it would show him, undisguised, getting kissed by a tied up mare or something.

Cadance blushed and nodded. “Still… I feel like you deserve more.” In part it was just the natural flow of the conversation… but she knew full well where she was heading, and that she only had a few more lines to back out.

Stock waved a holed hoof dismissively. He had fewer holes than most of his fellows, a fact he was quite proud of. It showed that most of the love he fed on was given to him ‘freely’, rather than through deception. Well, that was a bit of a lie. The little games he played to twist captives’ hearts around were every bit as deceptive as the disguises his broodmates used, but that didn’t seem to be recognized by whatever magic dictated the number of holes a changeling bore. “I’m just a guard who slips you table scraps. I barely deserve the praise, much less anything more.” The false humility was just one more piece of his disguise.

Cadance paused, looking at him as her heart warred against itself. Ultimately the pony that was literally here for her won out against the one who had failed to rescue her in all this time. She stepped forward and planted a light kiss on the bug-pony’s cheek. “Let me be the judge of that.”

“As you wish,” he allowed, before turning to meet her next kiss. It was an absolute feast, and he desperately hoped the dim lighting and her current proximity kept her from noticing any changes as he fleshed out a bit from the abundance. He did what he could for now to push some of it out to his fellow guards immediately, but it was hard over a distance, and couldn’t match the flow.

Suddenly she stopped, stepping back and shaking her head, lowering it as a hoof came to cover her forehead. “No… this is… it’s wrong. I’m sorry, I can’t.”

Stock’s heart skipped a beat as he had a panicked moment of fear that she had actually caught on to what he was doing, but then realized it was just her lingering faithfulness to her fiance. Nothing he hadn’t planned on, merely a matter requiring patience. “I understand… I’ll go.”

As he turned to trot away, she caught sight of the effect she had had on him, however. He wasn’t anything special to look at in that regard, but the fact that she had put him in such a state gave her a twinge of guilt. “Wait.”

Stock waited, uncertain if he should even let this proceed. It wasn’t that he didn’t want her, it was that he wanted her to take this step out of love, not any other motivation.

But, despite his expertise, he couldn’t find a way to turn down the alicorn mare’s offer, while keeping up his character and his ruse, and not convincing her it would never be.

“Ah, there you are,” Dotted I greeted as her latest client entered the small sitting room. “I’ve been waiting a while, though I can forgive you. Your staff provided such lovely refreshments while I waited.”

“Thank you for coming, Dotti,” Filthy Rich greeted, offering a hoof to shake. “Especially on such short notice. I know you just finished with that… last matter, yesterday.”

“This isn’t about that, is it?” Dotted asked. “Look, I’m sorry to have been a part of your family’s troubles, but-”

Filthy cut her off with a gesture before speaking. “It’s related, but it isn’t that matter exactly. Listen, I need you to be an even bigger part in my family’s troubles.”

“What… part, exactly?” Dotted inquired, glancing about the room nervously. There wouldn’t be any witnesses if he planned to do anything untoward with her. Still, she shouldn’t leap to any conclusions.

“I need a divorce lawyer,” Filthy explained plainly.

“Oh? Oh. Oh!” she said as her mind put the pieces together one by one. “And you’re sure you want me for the job?”

“Of course. Dotti, this town isn’t that big. There are only three lawponies here to chose from. And of course I would want the one that’s actually done something to see that my precious little Tiara is taken care of,” Filthy said.

“That’s true, though… with your money, couldn’t you call in some big shot from Canterlot?” Dotted asked.

“Possibly… and my wife may do just that. Do your best, it’s all anypony can ask of anypony,” Filthy said. “I’m sure to lose a lot in the process. My omelette chef almost certainly, for starters. But staying with her after what she has done… it’s too much to bear.”

Dotted nodded, then gave him a softer look. “You really love your daughter, don’t you?”

She barely had time to brace herself for the answer, which was the stallion grabbing her in a powerful hug and crying openly on her shoulder.

“Hey Sweetie Belle, how’s it been?” Spike inquired as he entered the Carousel Boutique.

“Oh! Welcome home, sweetie,~” Sweetie said, bounding up to him and testing his stability as she leapt into a hug and quickly added a kiss. “I made a few sales, and took notes from the few customers willing to leave any. If sis doesn’t get home soon, I’m going to have to take up sewing myself…”

“If it’s just repair work, Fluttershy actually is really good with a needle. We could ask her to lend a hoof,” Spike suggested. “She just doesn’t know how to design for fashion.”

“That’s not a bad idea. I’ll keep it in mind,” Sweetie commented. “Anyways, how was your day at the library?”

“Eh, only stayed there half the day. Twilight’s got a new assistant. Since lunch, I’ve actually been helping at Sweet Apple Acres,” Spike admitted.

“Oh? Find some time to ‘play’ with Apple Bloom?~” the unicorn teasingly inquired.

“Nah. Well, not like you’re implying, anyways. Just a few riddles and the like while we plowed and seeded,” Spike said. “This new size and strength goes a long way toward that kind of work.”

“She shot you down?” Sweetie inquired.

“Didn’t ask. I’ve got all the mare I need right here,” Spike said as he settled onto the couch, wrapping his tail around the filly. “When she wants it bad enough, she’ll come to me. Or find her own special somepony.”

Sweetie kissed his snout. “Flatterer.~ Anyways, I do want to be there when it happens and enjoy the show.”

Spike chuckled. “You’re obsessed.”

“And you’re not, mister I grew 50 hooves tall just from sex?” Sweetie asked.

Spike looked away. “I kind of have to not be, now.”

Sweetie toned it down, reminded of the reality they lived with. “Well… thank you. I think you’re just the right size now.”

Spike leaned down and kissed her in response. “Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind. I doubt any of our friends will object, given what we’ve already done together. Well, unless they’re just in a hurry.”

“Don’t be mean about it, or anything,” Sweetie conceded. “You know I won’t be mad.”

Spike nodded and they cuddled until hunger compelled them to action.

“My own gourmet chef,~” Sweetie cooed, when Spike plated some spaghetti for each of them, sprinkling his own with some ground ruby.

“I was actually considering going down that route,” Spike admitted. “Becoming a real chef, I mean. I have a lot of practice in the kitchen, even if it isn’t really anything special. Yet.”

“It’s special to me, sweetie,” Sweetie said, her voice filled with sincerity.

Spike was skeptical for a moment until he thought it through. “Rarity’s not that good of a cook?”

“You didn’t hear it from me,” Sweetie insisted.

“You find yourself staring down the shaft of a nocked arrow, wielded by none other than the Amarezonian Queen,” Gaffer said. “Roll for initiative!”

After sorting the numbers called out, the oubliette master pointed a hoof at the pink-furred changeling queen. “I cast Bicuriosity on her. Will save difficulty 24,” she said smugly. “If she fails, I get a free Seduction roll at +4.”

“Oh, come on!” Shining Armor protested.

“That’s a fourth ranked spell, and bards don’t get fourth rank until level 10! You’re only level 1!” Poindexter pointed out.

“It’s only third rank for a bard,” Chrysalis pointed out, showing the page. “And I’ve been levelling up this whole time.”

“What? How? Thanks to you we haven’t fought a single enemy all night!” 8-bit, the pegasus, exclaimed.

“Actually, she’s right. I give experience for overcoming adversaries and obstacles, regardless of how it’s done. But since most of you haven’t actually participated…” Gaffer pointed out. “She’s earned enough XP for a party of 3 level 18s like yourselves for what was supposed to be four sessions, all for her little level 1 mare’s sweet, nymphomaniac self. If she pulls this off, she’ll hit level 11.”

“You know, if any of you gentlecolts want in on this, the spell triples the effects of your Helping Out roll if you’re the opposite sex of me,” Chrysalis pointed out. “You’d be giving me a… +6,” she said in the most unbelievably sultry voice the number six had ever been uttered in. While it was directed at Shining Armor, all four stallions were making use of the table to hide their arousal. Not that it was a change, or that it did anything to hide their lust from the changeling. Even without supernatural senses, she could see it on their faces, all session long.

8-bit looked tempted, but a glance at Shining Armor reminded him once again that even role playing anything sexual with his fiance was off limits. Gaffer only got a pass because he was the OM, and the mare had essentially forced him into it time and again. Not that he had tried too hard to avoid it. Poindexter hadn’t been invited this time, as he was playing a mare, but had been shut down plenty of times already.

Finally, Chrysalis had to know. “Why have you been so adamant on staying out of it yourself, Shiny?”

Shining Armor muttered something quietly.

“What was that?”

Finally, Gaffer chuckled and filled the Queen in. “His character took a Vow of Chastity. It gives him a few nice bonuses like immunity to diseases, but if he ever breaks it he not only permanently loses the Perk, but also loses all his Paladin powers until he can get a Redemption spell cast.”

“Oh? I’m so sorry, Shiny, I didn’t know,” Chrysalis said. “Maybe we should have all rolled new characters, so we could have avoided such a terrible misunderstanding.”

“It’s alright. Just… can we skip the elaborate descriptions of the action this time?” Shining whined.

“Alright, alright… I don’t need the roleplaying bonus to level this time. What was that save, Gaffer?” Chrysalis conceded.

“22,” the OM replied after a die roll. “67 for the Seduction roll. Heh, sounds like we both were short by two,” Chrysalis replied.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 8-bit asked.

“I’ll explain it later,” Poindexter offered.

“Alright… well, that’s all the material I had prepared, and it’s getting late anyways,” Gaffer conceded as he tallied up the numbers. “This has been a unique experience, I’ll give it that.”

“Next time, can you please let us fight at least some of the battles?” 8-bit asked.

“No worries,” Chrysalis said, flipping open a supplement she had been perusing as they went, not needing her full attention to spell out intricately detailed sex scenes, after all. “With this new Specialty Class, I can cast spells up to fifth tier, off either the bard or sorcerer lists. It was a long way to wait for level 11 to get it started, but I’m looking forward to blowing ponies up with you next time.”

“Is… this what it feels like to go up against a pool shark?” Gaffer asked.

Meanwhile the real Cadance snuggled up tightly against Stock, neither really able to move. It wasn’t just the afterglow for Cadance, this time, the cumulative exhaustion of so many rounds had added up, and she could barely keep her eyes open. Stock himself was in something of a food coma, eyes completely unfocused as he looked at his delicious, sexy prey. All he could make out was a vaguely pink shape of unfathomable deliciousness.

Cadance wasn’t sure how normal this was. It was her first time, which left a simple lack of answers from ignorance to start with, and he was a different breed of pony, and there was perhaps a bit of the ‘honeymoon phase’ going on, but… if sex was always this good, why had she gone so long without it?! Why did anypony? Maybe when it was a little less fresh on the mind she’d have more tempered thoughts on the matter, but right now?

It hadn’t started out that good. The pain of losing her virginity was something she’d been taught to expect, and it took some time to really warm up. Though her lover knew some rather pleasant techniques to help that along. He obviously wasn’t a virgin before this, that was the only logical conclusion. Of course, he’d never claimed to be.

She’d heard stories of stallions falling asleep immediately after, sometimes without even bringing release to his mare. But Stock was the opposite. Every release of hers seemed to fill him with a renewed vigor, helping him carry her on to new heights. It was unbelievable. Almost literally. She kept expecting Luna to show up, revealing it was all a dream from the beginning, or at least from the start of the good parts.

It was only when the fog of her joy began to part that she started seriously thinking that through. It really was unbelievable. How had the other guards not heard them and come to investigate? Sure, Stock had been bribing the one on shift with him, but shouldn’t his shift have ended by now? What time even was it? And anyways, somepony would have heard even farther away, like wherever the guards stayed when it wasn’t their shift.

They all had to have been in on it, probably from the start. Was this the whole reason she was foalnapped in the first place? To turn her into some kind of slut for their pleasure and amusement? Actually, that was kind of- NO! She would not be tempted by something as degrading as that!

Her troubled thoughts caused Stock to stir, and he quelled them for the moment with a gentle kiss to her muzzle. “I’d better go, before the shift changes,” he said quietly. “I love you,” he lied sweetly before taking his leave.

Cadance melted, watching his sexy bug flanks as he walked away, until he was out of view. What had she been thinking, again?

“What are you doing here, Daddy?” Diamond Tiara asked, as she approached the forlorn stallion sitting at the edge of the wreckage where the clubhouse had stood.

“I didn’t know where else to find you, precious,” Filthy said, his voice lacking the firm vigor it usually did.

“I’m living with Cloud now, of course. We’re just inside the Everfree, near Fluttershy’s cottage,” Diamond explained. “Though… it’s kind of dangerous out there, so maybe it’s best if you don’t…”

“I thought I could brave any danger to make sure you were safe,” Filthy said. “But there was one I couldn’t brave. The one I married.”

“Daddy…” Diamond began, but didn’t know where to go from there.

“Don’t…” Filthy said. “We’re getting a divorce. I can’t live with a mare that would give up her own daughter without fighting tooth and hoof to prevent it.”

Diamond reared up to hug her father, mostly to console him. She knew he was in the process of losing everything, no matter how favorably the divorce procedures went. The hugged in silence for nearly half an hour.

“I’m such a foal,” Filthy finally said, wiping back some tears. “Any chance Cloud would adopt me too?”

The mare looked a little bedraggled, far more than she was comfortable with really, but at least at this hour nopony was likely to be about and notice. She dragged her heavy suitcase all the way from the train station to her front door before dropping it, taking some time to pant and recover from the exertion before finally retrieving her key and unlocking the entrance to her home.

She only bothered dragging the heavy container inside the building, knowing its contents would wait for the morning to unpack and launder. Right now she had other matters to attend to. Namely, her bed.

She passed a smaller bed on her way, failing to notice it was in pristine condition, still neatly made, and not occupied as it should be at this hour. Reaching her own room, she approached the bed only to freeze in surprise.

A tail peeked out from the end of her covers, defying all expectations. She knew that tail, would recognize it anywhere, though its owner had certainly grown since she’d seen him last. And filled out nicely, if the shape of the covers was any indication, though given the dark of the room, that was perhaps more guesswork and fantasizing than reality.

Still… after what she’d been through and what she’d witnessed… finding this mature masculine figure in her bed was a welcome opportunity. How could she not see it as an invitation? She slipped her nose under the bottom of the cover where the tail peeked through and worked her way forward, until she was straddling the sleeping figure, her horn dimly glowing as it gently worked him up.

“Hello, Spike~” she said softly, sweetly.

“Hmm? Rarity, you’re home?” he asked groggily before groaning a bit. “Sorry, we had to take your bed… I got a bit too big for my own, and we haven’t had a chance to do anything about it yet.”

“That’s alright, I’ll let you make it up to me,” she said, before doing a bit of a double take. “Wait, ‘we’?” Only then did she notice her sister’s sleeping head where she was snuggled against Spike’s side.

“You’re going to have to wake her up and let her watch or maybe join in if you want to do anything like that,” Spike stated.

Rarity considered it, then sighed and moved off to his other side. “In the morning, we’re getting you your own bed.”

“Wise choice… but why were you even considering it? Aren’t you and Blueblood…?” Spike questioned.

“That cheating cheater?” Rarity asked.

“Yeah. That’s how you met, right?” Spike pointed out.

Rarity blew on her mane in annoyance. Her tail flicked several times as she tried to come up with a response.

“I’m glad you’re home. She will be too, when she wakes,” Spike commented.

“So… you and Sweetie Belle?” Rarity asked.

“It’s a long story, but yes,” Spike confirmed.

“Be good to her, or I’ll kill you,” Rarity said, before snuggling against his side and closing her eyes, soon to fall asleep.

Chapter 38: Ticket Remastered

Rarity yawned deeply, stretching as she prepared to greet the day. It was at that point she noticed that her bed was unusually crowded, doubly so because the one crowding her was a lot less furry than any suitor she had ever entertained before. “Mmm, Spike, darling. As nice as it is to wake up in a cuddle, we simply must get you and Sweetie Belle a bed of your own with plenty of room for your new size,” the mare declared.

“Agreed… we’d have done it already if we had the bits,” Spike said. “Sorry for borrowing your bed without asking. We really didn’t have another option. Okay, no good ones anyways.”

“It’s fine, dear. Sorry for… last night,” she answered.

“What happened last night?” Sweetie Belle asked, finally admitting to being awake. “You didn’t leave me out of something fun, did you?”

“Nothing happened,” Spike assured. “I wouldn’t do something like that without inviting you, you know that.”

Sweetie Belle studied their faces a bit, noting Spike’s firm look and Rarity’s blush, and finally nodded. “I trust you. And… I guess it would be weird with my sister of all ponies.” She hopped out of bed, ready to start the day. “So what are we going to do today?”

“School first, little filly,” Rarity declared. “Go get yourself ready, and I’ll do the same. We’ll see about a bed this afternoon.” She waited for Sweetie to be out of eyesight on her way to her own bathroom, before gesturing for Spike to follow her to her own. “Now spill it, Spike.”

“Umm, well… you know Sweetie Belle and I had been getting close-”

“No, not about that, darling. The rest of the town’s gossip. I’ve been gone for days, surely something juicy must have happened, beyond your little romp,” Rarity clarified. “Don’t get me wrong, it’s sooner than I thought, but everypony knew this was coming. Except maybe Twilight, dear thing seemed to be in denial about the fact that you’re a stallion, or male at any rate.”

“Well… Nanaki seems to be working on that whole ‘harem’ idea Pinkie was shipping. I’m pretty sure he’s slept with her and Applejack already, and dated Twilight at least once,” Spike informed. “Cloud’s getting a bit upset about it. I think she wants him for herself, but she hasn’t really made a move yet.”

“Now, that is juicy,” Rarity confirmed, tapping a hoof to her chin thoughtfully as she considered the situation. “Do you know where I could find Nanaki?”

“I don’t, I’m sorry. One of the other mares might know, though. Twilight, or maybe Fluttershy,” Spike offered.

“Hmm… I’ll try Twilight first,” she decided. “Anything else I missed?”

“Well,” Spike said, scratching the back of his head. “Actually, your sister and I wanted to give you something… a little gift, assuming you made it back in time.” He stopped by her nightstand to get something from a drawer and returned to the vanity where she was still adjusting her mane. “It was supposed to be our first big date but… we’re kind of way past that. And… honestly, I kind of feel like we’ll get a lot of stares there, and not the good kind.”

His hand rested on the vanity briefly, and when it retracted a pair of golden tickets was left behind. “We know you really wanted to be able to go, and show off your work. Maybe Sweetie can still go, after all that effort you went into for her dress. Or you can ask somepony else. I’m sure you’ll be able to find a good use for both tickets.”

“Oh, Spike! Thank you,” Rarity said, voice laced with emotion as she set her self care aside to hug him tightly. She gave his kiss a cheek before sitting back. “I’m sure I’ll find a great use for the second ticket.”

“Knock, knock,~” Rarity announced as she let herself into the library without knocking. “Twilight, darling, are you in here?”

“Who?” Owlowiscious greeted.

“Rarity doesn’t play that game,” the fashionista said quietly.

“Rarity?” Twilight called from the back before teleporting a bit uncomfortably close. “It is you!” She lunged forward and caught her fellow unicorn in a hug. “You were gone so long. Are you alright? What happened?”

“I’m alright, Twilight. A bit disillusioned, but otherwise well,” she said. She found herself a comfortable seat before continuing. “Princess Celestia invited me along because Prince Blueblood had suffered a blow to the head. I stayed by his side day and night, as much as my own needs could allow. But yesterday, I stepped away for just a few minutes to powder my nose and when I returned he was being overly amorous with one of the nurses!”

“I’m sure it was just some kind of misunderstanding,” Twilight suggested.

“She was fellating him!” Rarity exclaimed. “And don’t pretend you don’t know what that means, Twilight, I’m sure you’ve memorized the dictionary.”

Twilight blushed. “Well… maybe it wasn’t his idea?”

“He was holding her head in place with two hooves and verbally encouraging her,” Rarity pointed out.

“Okay… He did wrong, no two ways about it,” Twilight admitted.

“That should have been me!” Rarity pointed out. “By the time I got to him he was too exhausted to do anything, and went right back to sleep. So… I left. Came back here. I was so pent up I almost-”

“Almost?” Twilight nudged.

“Eheh, well. Have you seen Nanaki around?” Rarity changed the subject.

“We had a lovely time watching the meteor shower together the other night. It’s a shame you missed it,” Twilight said. “We talked quite late into the night about the similarities and differences in astronomy between our worlds. Did you know they don’t have anypony to raise or lower the sun or moon in their world? Instead, their world and several other celestial bodies travel around their sun in an elliptical orbit. The world rotates to create a day and night cycle, which combines with the orbit to create seasons in an entirely mathematical fashion.” She showed the seamstress her diagrams.

“That’s fascinating, I’m sure darling. And did you have any other fun with the man?” Rarity pressed.

“Oh, yes. We had a great discussion of cultural differences between his own tribe and their neighbors, and how they resembled the situation in Appleloosa with the buffalo,” Twilight happily explained.

“Nothing more… intimate?” Rarity questioned. “I’d heard he was putting together a harem.”

Twilight blushed deeply. “Well… we did share some rather private discussions as well… but no, nothing sexual. It was a lovely time together, but I’m not that eager to lose my virginity. It’s interesting to consider going down that route, herding I mean, but I’d need more than one nice night to commit myself to a special somepony who’s to be shared like that.”

“I suppose that makes you the wisest among us,” Rarity pondered. “Unwise as it may prove, I do wish to meet with him, today if I can. Could you point me in his direction?”

“He plans to attend Fluttershy’s tea party tonight, along with Cloud. You could find him there, certainly, and I’m sure ‘Shy would be happy to have one more,” Twilight suggested. “Until then, I’m sure he’s about town somewhere.”

“Alright, I’ll look for him myself. Thank you, Twilight,” Rarity said. "Oh, before I go... did you have any plans for the night after next?"

Rarity headed for the town center, knowing it would be most of the day before Fluttershy’s tea party. After being out of town for nearly a week, she had some basic errands to attend to anyway. She stopped by the spa to apologize for missing her appointments, and set up a full day of treatments for the next day. She’d need them to look her best for the gala. Next, she spent an hour browsing beds before selecting one to have delivered to the boutique. It was a fair bit larger than her own, but hers had proven a bit short for Spike’s tail, and a bit on the ‘cozy’ side with a mare on either side of him. Not that she planned to join them in bed again, or particularly expected anypony else to, but they ought to at least have the room to sleep a bit separated from one another if they did, even as Sweetie grew to her adult size.

The final errand was grocery shopping. She started by purchasing a bag of farm-grown gemstones for Spike, before acquiring foodstuffs more suitable for a pair of unicorns. She had barely finished loading her saddlebags with her purchases when she realized Nanaki was right behind her, waiting patiently with a set of saddlebags slung over his left forearm.

“Nanaki! Were you looking for me?” Rarity asked.

“Not at the moment, fair maiden,” Nanaki said. “I was merely waiting my turn to do business with the merchant here. If you’re done?” He set a carton of eggs on the counter as she stepped aside, taking a moment to conclude his own purchase before adding them to his already heavy bags. “Nevertheless, it’s good to see you again. Welcome back to town.”

“Thank you, darling. I actually was hoping to see you today. I trust you are integrating well enough so far?” the mare replied. She started toward the boutique slowly, gesturing for him to join.

“As well as can be expected. The dietary differences seem to take some finesse to account for politely,” Nanaki said. Lowering his voice, he added, “I’m used to a nearly entirely carnivorous diet, truth be told. The human body can safely stray a fair bit off from that, but we are certainly no ponies in that regard. Eggs look to be my salvation in that regard… ironic, as I only ever ate them with any regularity when I was in captivity.”

“That’s terrible… there must be some alternative?” Rarity inquired.

“Fish is hard to come by and expensive, at least until I learn the skills to acquire my own. Ponies don’t generally eat them, except as a fancy exotic dish it seems. The local fisher seems to owe his livelihood to Fluttershy and her pets… sorry, friends,” Nanaki explained. “Anything else… No. Cheese perhaps, but my gut reacts to it in unfortunate ways. I’ll spare a refined lady such as yourself the details.”

“Thank you, darling, though you’ve said enough,” Rarity responded. “So… I hear you’ve been finding favor with my friends, and vice versa.” The shift in her tone and look, especially the dramatic flutter of her eyelashes, carried a far from subtle level of innuendo. Something only a human could have missed, from her experience.

“Indeed. Were you hoping to arrange some alone time yourself, or merely catching up on gossip?” Nanaki asked teasingly. “You were engaged last I heard, so I didn’t want to be too forward.”

“‘Was’ being the operative word,” Rarity groused.

“Does he know?” Nanaki inquired.

“He ought to,” Rarity said firmly. “After what he did…”

“So, that’s a no,” Nanaki smirked. “It’s alright, I’m sure you’ll make it obvious enough he can’t miss it, eventually.”

Rarity sighed. “Can we change the subject? Thinking about it is a bit of a mood killer.”

“Of course, fair maiden. What would you prefer to discuss?” Nanaki obliged. “I can spare a few hours if you’ll lend me some space in your refrigerator.”

“Done,” she agreed readily.

With the foodstuffs properly stored, the pair settled into the interior of the closed shop. “This reminds me,” Nanaki said with a vague gesture at the wares on display. “As the foremost expert on human clothing in Ponyville, and perhaps Equestria, I’ll have need of your services. As charity, if you can’t think of a suitable payment.”

“Oh, I’m sure we can come up with something,” Rarity responded flirtatiously, before a thought hit her, and she couldn’t help but giggle before shaking her head. “Though… this does remind me of when Cloud first came here. At least you managed to come here in more practical garb. It does make the challenge of giving you something nice to wear that much more pressing.”

“I suppose it’s practical enough,” Nanaki said, “though I’d just as soon be rid of it if I had a suitable replacement, no pun intended.”

“Pun?” Rarity asked, before catching what he’d said. “Ah… actually, a nice suit might be just the thing. You’ll have to forgive me if it takes a few tries, though. Let me measure you now, and come by tomorrow for the alterations you’ll no doubt need to get it just right.”

“Rainbow Dash is in a competition tomorrow and I promised to come watch. What about the next day?” Nanaki negotiated.

“Tomorrow evening it is,” Rarity said firmly. “The Grand Galloping Gala is in three days, we can’t wait that long.”

Nanaki waved dismissively. “You can wait until after the event to work on my clothes. Despite my words, I can manage well enough in this thing.” He plucked at the blue uniform a bit.

“Nonsense, darling,” Rarity objected. “Besides, you’re on the short list of ponies I’m considering inviting to come with me.”

“Oh?” Nanaki asked before chuckling. “That would certainly seal it, in Cloud’s mind at least.”

“Seal what, dear?” Rarity asked, confused.

“Pinkie suggested on the train ride out here that I could pursue a relationship with all six of you mares and Cloud, all at once,” Nanaki said. “Cloud seems quite convinced it’s what I’m doing, and she seems all the more flustered as it proceeds. It’s kind of cute, though I also worry I’m ruining my chances with her.”

“Isn’t it what you’re doing?” Rarity inquired.

Nanaki shrugged. “At the moment, I’m really just trying to get to know you all. I admit to sharing a few intimate moments with those who wished it, but we were clear from the start there was no promise of anything deeper. I was under the impression you were seeking the same… I apologize if I misjudged you.”

Rarity shook her head. “No, you judged right. I was so pent up I nearly jumped Spike when I got home. In my defense though, he was sleeping in my bed when I got there. When I heard about your ‘harem’, I thought it’d be an easy way to relieve some of my tension.”

“It still can be, even if it makes things that much more strained with Cloud,” Nanaki offered. “Though, Spike… he’s got an impressive harem,” he laughed. “Five in one night… that’s quite a way to lose his virginity.”

“What?!” Rarity exclaimed. “They didn’t mention anything about that to me!”

“Really? What about the destruction of their clubhouse?” Nanaki inquired.

“What happened?! You must tell me!” Rarity asked, shifting her position as she realized she’d missed the juiciest of the gossip.

“Apparently, every mare the little dragon claimed for his own made him grow exponentially,” Nanaki explained. “After two he was as big as he is now. Continuing past that point required magical intervention to avoid hurting the fillies, and your sister earned her cutie mark inventing such a spell. I don’t know how that works, but I do know the fifth one made him so big he towered over the trees, destroying their clubhouse in the process.”

“How did he get back down in size then?” Rarity inquired.

“He gave up the other fillies, all but your sister,” Nanaki said. “I guess is size is somehow related to how many mates he claims as his own in his heart, or something. Some kind of magic, to be sure. He doesn’t understand it that well himself, I gather.”

Rarity thought a moment. “If he gave up the others, why is he this size? Why not the size he was after one?”

“He and Sweetie agreed to keep their relationship open, at least to their friends,” Nanaki said. “Four ‘friends with benefits’ grows him as much as one more full time marefriend, apparently. They seem pretty content with him being as he is now.”

Rarity blushed deeply, thinking back to the night before. She didn’t speak for some time, so Nanaki observed her quietly. Finally, she decided to change gears a bit. “You’ve mentioned Cloud a few times. You seem concerned about how she sees you… do you have a thing for her?”

It was Nanaki’s turn to blush. “I suppose so. It’s hard to claim too much, as we’ve yet to have a date, or even that much time together. But I can certainly appreciate a fellow warrior, something you ponies seem to lack. And… now that we’re both human, I’m finding a newfound appreciation for the womanly form that I never thought I would have.”

“Well, of course you need to time together for love to grow, if it will,” Rarity said off hand before realizing something he’d said. “Wait… you weren’t human before you came here?”

“Please don’t tell Cloud,” Nanaki said. “I’m pretty sure she thinks I used to be female, rather than another species. I ought to be the one to come clean to her, myself.”

“Why did you lie to her in the first place?” Rarity asked.

“I didn’t, exactly. I told her the truth, and when she misconstrued it… well at the moment I thought it was funny, and let her run with it,” Nanaki said. “It took me a while to even realize she’d even gone with that interpretation, and even then it was as much a guess on my part as anything. Subtle clues in how she words things or what she expects from me.”

“Alright, I’ll leave it to you to clear up,” Rarity allowed. “Your old form… you were on all fours like a pony then? It’s why being with one of us came naturally to you?”

Nanaki nodded. “They called us Firecats. An evocative term, though we bore more of a special bond with the moon than actual fire,” he said. “Truthfully, I’ve never once been with a two-legger, even when my captor tried to force me to serve as a stud for one. That was… actually how I first met several of Cloud’s friends. Instead of having sex, we helped each other break free of that awful place, and began a longer journey together. I heard a fair bit about Cloud from them, not all of which has matched up to what I see for myself now. The gender being the most blatant difference.”

“Certainly, but there are others?” Rarity asked, intrigued.

“When she disappeared, she… or he at the time, had taken on a mercenary character that didn’t quite match what his older friends remembered of him. He’d been away for some time, and certainly people change, but Tifa mentioned he seemed really out of it when she first found him,” Nanaki explained.

Rarity nodded. “Yes, when she first appeared here, she seemed a bit obsessed about being a mercenary. Oddly, it wasn’t until Discord messed with all of our heads with his magic that Cloud changed for the better. Maybe that’s just how it is for Discord? Sometimes his chaos magic helps those he seeks to hurt? I can’t say for certain, but Luna seemed to know a bit about it when I spoke with her.”

“Whatever the reason, I’m glad for it,” Nanaki said. “The Cloud I’ve seen seems much more appealing to get to know than the one I’ve heard of.”

Rarity hesitated a moment, fighting a losing battle against her own virtue. “Nanaki… I have an idea how you can get to a great start getting to know her…”

I finished drying myself after my shower, and reached out blindly for my dress, where it was hanging on the top of the bathroom door. I froze as my fingers touched the fabric. I could easily tell it was the silk dress I had with me when I first arrived in this world, not the cotton dress I had laid out for myself, the one I always wore to Fluttershy’s tea parties.

I stood still for a moment, as the fabric conjured memories, from the first time I had met Fluttershy to my last date with Prince Blueblood. Rarities repairs and alterations of the dress between those two events had been masterfully done, and it was a far more flattering piece of apparel than what I had intended to wear. And it would send a message.

Which I assumed was why my adoptive daughter had made the switch. Determining to own that message, I took the dress off the door and put it on, taking a few minutes to adjust it and confirm it looked just right in the mirror before setting into my hair. Diamond Tiara’s implication was just right. Now was the time to look like someone Nanaki couldn’t help but be attracted to.

Diamond let herself into the bathroom before I was finished. Perhaps I should get a lock installed at some point. “You cleaned up well. If I hadn’t watched you, I would never know you’d been doing construction work all morning,” she complimented. “But you need to do more if you want to woo your stallion, sorry, ‘man’?” She pulled several items from her saddlebags and deployed them in front of me. Makeup.

“I’m… not sure I’m ready for that,” I said. “Do you even know how to use those? I certainly don’t. But I do know they can make things worse if they aren’t done right.”

“Just relax, and trust me,” she insisted.

I got more nervous than I had been in life or death fights, and nodded. With hoof and mouth, the filly began to apply her goods to me. Fortunately, she went for a subtle approach. The lipstick was just a few shades from my natural color, and mostly served to hide the chapping that had come from hard work outdoors. She adjusted my eyelashes, making them a little more pronounced and straightening the few that had gone astray. She considered doing more, but then shook her head. “That will be enough, this time. But you’re going to let me experiment on you more later, see what I can do to really highlight your features. With all that exposed skin instead of facial fur, I’m not sure what some of our products would do for you.”

I looked myself over in the mirror and smiled. Back when I was a guy… I’d probably have instantly fallen for a woman with my new looks… Well, perhaps not. I’d have been too nervous to make a move, and maybe hesitate for fear I would find out she was secretly my long lost sister or something.

“You did well, Diamond. Thank you,” I said. “Nanaki won’t know what hit him.”

“Right. Now go get him. You’d better leave now or you’ll be late,” Diamond said. “But don’t run. You don’t want to get all sweaty on the way there.”

“Yeah, yeah,” I said as I finally stepped out into the main room. I turned to the other occupant of the small house. “And thank you, as well. I really appreciate the help.”

“To you I owe a lasting debt, one I can’t repay I bet,” Zecora said. “So for foalsitting I shall e’er be available, as long as your bits are to me payable.”

I nodded to Zecora. “Diamond, I trust you’ll be good for Zecora. Do what she says. Just don’t start rhyming all the time like her.”

Chapter 39: Four's a Crowd

I knocked on Fluttershy’s door and waited, listening intently for the pegasus to quietly invite me in. Instead, I heard faint footsteps from someone who clearly lacked hooves. If I hadn’t been listening for something as quiet as the shy mare’s voice I wouldn’t have heard it at all.

“Nanaki,” I greeted, as he opened the door, the man looking clearly more surprised than I was, even though he certainly knew I was coming.

“C-Cloud,” he said, blinking before shaking off the surprise and moving to let me in. “Please, come in. Have a seat. I trust you won’t mind we have a fourth joining us this evening.”

I smiled as I headed in, taking in his appearance as I passed. He had cleaned up well enough himself, but he was still wearing that uniform, though he had stripped it of several of the more identifying marks. Back on Gaia it would have been the worst of both worlds; Shinra would call him out of uniform while their enemies would still see him as one of them. Here, it just made for a bit plain of a blue outfit. It contrasted sharply with his bright red hair and bright white smile.

We took up seats across from one another, leaving Fluttershy’s seat, nearest the kitchen, to my left. The fourth member was to my right, getting up to share a brief hug before sitting back down.

“Cloud, darling, you really should have let us know you were going to make this a formal affair. I’m sure we all would have been happy to dress up for the occasion,” Rarity chided playfully. She was wearing a lovely purple cloak that complimented her mane. Nice, but far from her best.

“When did you get back to Ponyville?” I inquired. “We’ve all missed you, especially since you left so suddenly. At least Luna got some word to me about the reason.”

“Just last night, darling,” Rarity stated. “And I came home to a rather unexpected surprise waiting in my bed.”

I thought a moment before giggling. I was still getting used to the extreme unmanliness of the act, but I couldn’t always help it. “Just Spike, or both of them?”

“Both, though I didn’t notice Sweetie Belle until the morning,” Rarity said. “My train got in well after dark, and I was quite exhausted when I got home. Still, it wasn’t so bad. I purchased a new bed for them today, so that we don’t have that particular trouble anymore. And I heard you bought one yourself just yesterday.”

“I have a new daughter to take care of,” I confessed. “I’m sure I’ll be asking you and Applejack for more than a little advice on the matter in the days to come.”

“How did that happen?” Nanaki inquired. “I was pretty certain it takes a good nine months, and I don’t believe Rainbow Dash could be the father.”

“Well the ponies do have quite a bit of magic,” I pointed out playfully. “But no, she’s adopted. Diamond Tiara asked me to take her in, after her mother disowned her.”

“That’s very kind of you, Cloud,” Fluttershy praised faintly as she hovered over the table, pouring steaming hot tea into four cups. I hadn’t heard her enter, which didn’t surprise me. Though it was impressive that she could beat her wings without either that or the cloth of her simple green dress making more noise than a whisper.

“She’s a good foal, and a natural leader,” I said. “I’ll do my best to help her grow in both roles.”

“I heard she was quite the bully,” Rarity said. “Though I guess that was before she joined my sister’s little club.”

“She’s gotten much better, perhaps from their influence… and more than a little of ours,” I stated. “Sadly, that was what got her disowned. Her mother, Spoiled Rich, took offense to her devotion to her ‘common’ friends.”

“If you adopted her, where is she now? Perhaps you should have brought her with you,” Nanaki inquired.

“Not looking like this,” I said, winking to him and earning a slightly goofy looking smile. “My friend, Zecora, is watching her at my house right now. I expect I’m going to be paying her quite a lot of bits over the next few years.”

“How is Zecora?” Rarity inquired. “I haven’t seen her in ages.”

“She’s good,” Fluttershy and I answered in unison before giggling. Fluttershy continued softly. “She usually stops by on her way in and out of town. The townsfolk have been a lot nicer to her now that they know she’s not an evil witch. But she still doesn’t have many friends.”

“I’m sure she could if she tried harder,” I said. “I think she prefers to keep the social contact limited. There’s nothing wrong with being an introvert.”

“Please, darling, we’re trying to have tea here,” Rarity chided. “Let’s keep talk of perversions off the table.”

I flushed and struggled to try to clear up the misunderstanding, until the white unicorn laughed and waved a hoof. “I’m sorry, dear, a cheap joke at your expense. I know what an introvert is, even if I myself am far from it. After all, Fluttershy here is one of my best friends.”

“Speaking of perversions,” Nanaki said, smirking at Rarity for a moment. “You seem absolutely determined to turn me away from my own xenophilia.” Fluttershy gave him a brief confused look. “I was wondering if you might be willing to accompany me to a formal dance, three nights from now?”

“Three nights… isn’t that… The Grand Galloping Gala?!” Fluttershy quietly exclaimed.

“The Gala? The princess gave you tickets?” I inquired.

The man produced a pair of golden tickets with a grin. “Actually, another generous mare I know was kind enough to provide them. I can always give them back, if you don’t care to go. As someone recently converted, I won’t blame you if it’s too ‘girly’ for your tastes.”

I shook my head. “No, no. I’d love to go with you,” I assured. “I trust it isn’t too ‘manly’ for you to take me. Though I can’t say I know my way around the dance floor.”

“Nor do I, but I doubt the ponies would be able to tell,” Nanaki said. “Any way we dance will look outlandish to them, regardless. But I think it will be a fun experience, and a great opportunity to get to know one another better.”

“And work on curing you of your xenophilia?” I teased.

“I’ll leave that to your discretion,” he countered with a smile.

I noticed Fluttershy had moved to Rarity’s side to exchange whispers, and gave them a questioning look. Fluttershy blushed and hid behind her hair before taking flight to return to her own side.

“I’m glad that’s settled,” Rarity said when she realized we were paying attention to her again. “Now, we do have another order of business before that. Pinkie Pie’s birthday is the day before the Gala. I’ve spoken to Twilight about it, and we want to throw her a surprise birthday party. Heaven knows she’s thrown enough parties for all of us over the years.”

“A surprise party? I’m sure she’ll love it,” Nanaki said. “Two of her favorite things combined into one.”

“Perhaps one or both of you could take on the job of distracting her that day so she doesn’t realize what we’re up to?” Rarity inquired. “The rest of us will split up the tasks to prepare everything for her. I’ll see if Applejack can host it at her farm. The barn worked well for Hearth’s Warming Eve, after all, it can certainly hold a birthday party.”

“At least until it gets too full of apples,” I agreed. “But it’s planting season now, not harvest, so we should be good. The off-season apples don’t take up that much space, and sell almost as fast as they can pick them.”

“Oh… who’s going to bake the cake?” Fluttershy inquired.

“Are we inviting the Elements of Greatness? Silver Spoon is quite the cook, I am told,” I suggested.

“It would help with foalsitting, and Pinkie Pie isn’t one to turn away somepony from a party,” Rarity said. “Also, I rather think foals’ games would make Pinkie that much happier.”

A fresh pot of tea and tray of small, delightful cookies punctuated the end of the party planning. I wondered for a moment if Pinkie would be impressed or underwhelmed, then remembered who I was thinking about. The mere fact of the party’s existence was sure to fill her with an unreasonable amount of glee. At least, once she was let in on that little secret.

“Now that that’s taken care of,” Rarity said, sitting back with her teacup nestled between her forehooves. “Nanaki, why don’t you tell us all a bit more about yourself?”

Nanaki sat back as well, taking on a relaxed look. But to my eyes it didn’t look like the calm of someone enjoying a pleasant conversation, but more the calm of a warrior prepared for the battle in front of him. Maybe I was imagining it.

“Of course, Rarity,” he responded. “Did you have anything in particular in mind?”

“How has your stay in Ponyville been?” she suggested. “I missed much of it because of my own little excursion.”

“It’s been quite lovely. I’ve mostly been spending time with your friends, for obvious reasons, but every pony I’ve met around town has been quite friendly,” he answered.

“It’s ‘everypony’, darling,” Rarity pointed out.

“They use it like we use ‘everyone’,” I commented.

“As opposed to how Shinra uses everyone?” he inquired with a smirk.

“Clever,” I admitted. “Where did you say you were from? Someplace small, I remember. Shinra come cause you problems?”

“Cosmo Canyon,” he answered. “We had Gaia’s best observatory there, and a long history of studying the planet, the Lifestream, as well as the other planets orbiting the sun. And yes, Shinra caused us grief… nothing as bad as burning the place down, admittedly, at least not that I know of. The worst they did was kidnapping me for Hojo to experiment on.”

“Hojo… how bad was it? I was unconscious the whole time he experimented on me,” I told him.

“Far too bad to be the subject of discussion at a tea party,” he pointed out.

I looked ashamed a moment, turning to Fluttershy. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to mess up your party.”

“No, no, it’s alright Cloud,” Fluttershy offered. “I know it isn’t all pleasant, but you two have so much in common. Though I do hope that Hojo person never comes to Ponyville. If he did, I might have to do something unkind to him.”

“I’m sure we all would, Fluttershy,” I said.

“I can scarcely imagine you doing an unkind thing, even if it were called for,” Nanaki said.

I shuddered at the memory of our fight with Discord. “I can, I’ve seen it. Though, that was Discord’s own fault for messing with our heads.” When Nanaki looked curious, I continued. “A powerful magical creature had the princesses captured, and tried to ambush us on the way to save them. One by one, he used his magic to reverse our personalities, inverting our strongest trait, one after the other. Let’s just say it’s not a good idea to turn your enemy’s kindness into the opposite.”

“I’m still so very sorry about that,” Fluttershy offered. “At least John has forgiven me.”

“John?” Nanaki asked.

“I can apparently turn defeated enemies into summon materia,” I began. “I managed to render Discord speechless and turn his voice into a summon. For some inexplicable reason, that voice calls himself ‘John de Lancie’.” I shrugged. “He’s proven himself surprisingly handy at times, though using his power takes a fair bit more finesse than a more traditional, offensive summon.”

“So… what, your party disappears into the ether and just leaves your enemy fighting… a disembodied voice?” When we nodded, he laughed. “That’s hilarious… and, actually I could see quite a few uses. In fact… maybe we should get him to help kick off the surprise party.”

Fluttershy’s ears tracked a sound the rest of us couldn’t hear, and between whispers and gestures it was quite clear she was having a conversation the rest of us weren’t privy to. “John says he’d like that very much, thank you,” she finally informed us.

“You can hear him now?” Nanaki inquired.

“The summons kind of… haunt whoever has the materia. The summoner can hear them, and aside from John see them, even though they aren’t physically there. Except when I’m asleep, then they live in my dreams,” I explained.

“How many…?” he started.

“John the voice, Philomena the phoenix, Diamond Dust the windigo, and a massive swarm of parasprites,” I listed off, counting on my fingers. “Fluttershy typically keeps most or all of them when we don’t have a reason to redistribute them.”

“So what’s it like having them in your dreams every night?” he inquired, amused.

“It’s terribly awkward, especially since John and DD are dating, but I’ve had to get used to it. On the other hand, DD can be nice to talk to, at least when she isn’t intentionally giving me a hard time,” I said.

“How does that even-” he began, but I shook my head.

“Speaking of dates,~” Rarity said. “We don’t have long before the Grand Galloping Gala, and I can’t have you going in like that. Stop by the Boutique in the morning so I can update your measurements. It will be quite the challenge with the party preparations, but I’m certain I can make you something that will make you the envy of everypony there. I’ve already got Nanaki’s measurements, and I’ll have him in something suitably gentlemanly to complement you perfectly.”

“I have observed that being well dressed improves the impact of the compliments one gives,” Nanaki stated with a grin. “I look forward to seeing what you come up with, especially for my date.”

I couldn’t help but smile back. “I know it will be good. Rarity’s the best at what she does.”

“Thank you darling. Your flattery is quite welcome, but I’m going to need my rest if I’m going to live up to it,” Rarity said. “Thank you so much for the tea, Fluttershy, but I really must be going.”

“Oh, you’re quite welcome, Rarity. Thanks for stopping by,” Fluttershy offered. She looked to the clock before turning to her remaining guests. “It is getting a bit late. Perhaps you two should head home as well.”

“Truthfully, I still haven’t gotten a home of my own to return to,” Nanaki reminded. “Would any of the three of you like to put me up for the night? If not, I’m certain the guest bed at Sweet Apple Acres will suit my needs once more.”

I froze, blushing lightly. If I hadn’t adopted Diamond Tiara, I almost certainly would have invited him over then and there. As it was, I wasn’t going to be quite so quick to head down that road, but I still wasn’t comfortable with the thought of him spending the night with any of my friends. It just reminded me that I had no standing to demand his fidelity to me.

“You’re welcome to stay here and use my couch if you like,” Fluttershy offered.

“Thank you, Fluttershy. The title ‘Kindness’ certainly fits you well,” Nanaki returned.

“It will be nice getting a chance to talk with just you for a while, as well,” the pegasus continued. “If that’s alright with you.”

I closed my eyes a moment, fighting back the jealousy before climbing to my feet. When I opened my eyes, I saw Nanaki’s eyes on me, quietly observing without comment or obvious judgement, which made me blush all the more. “Thanks again, Fluttershy. You always serve the best tea,” I said before heading for the door.

“I’ll see you soon, Cloud,” Nanaki said as he waved goodbye.

“Tomorrow,” I agreed on my way out.

“So… how’d it go, Mom?” Diamond Tiara asked. “Did you ask him out on a real date?”

“Better,” I admitted. I was sitting on the couch, and Diamond was doing me the favor of sitting across my lap, letting me brush her mane. It was nicely soothing for me, though I would never mention to anypony what it reminded me of from home. “He invited me to the Grand Galloping Gala. Somehow he got a pair of tickets from Rarity.”

“Really? Spike and Sweetie gave him theirs, I’m surprised she didn’t want to go herself,” my daughter told me. “Maybe she’s avoiding Prince Blueblood for some reason.”

“Maybe. She didn’t mention him all night,” I said with a frown. “When I see her tomorrow for my fitting, I’ll have to ask how they’re doing. You know, find out whether I need to commit a bit of regicide while I’m up there for the Gala.”

“Mom! Don’t even joke about that!” she said. “You have a daughter now, you can’t go getting yourself thrown in Tartarus forever! At least wait until I move out on my own.”

“Do they allow visitation in Tartarus? You’d come visit me, wouldn’t you? You and Rainbow Dash… on different days,” I said, half joking.

“Why different d-?” Diamond asked, before sticking out her tongue at me. “Mo~om!”

I laughed a bit. “Sorry. Nanaki would be better, but that’d be getting ahead of myself. Anyways, aren’t you being a bit oversensitive about the topic when you’re trying to fix me up.”

Diamond was still unsettled. “Fine. It just snuck up on me, is all.” She looked at me thoughtfully. “The Gala’s just a few days from now. We really need to figure out the makeup thing. Enough with my mane, you promised I could experiment on you.”

I groaned a bit but didn’t fight it.

I woke to the sound of Pinkie Pie singing, or trying to sing while nearly out of breath. Groggily, I made my way hastily to the door. I opened it and looked down to see the mare had a party hat on her head and a red clown nose on her snout.

“You’re not the guest of honor, but you’re probably second place,
So please come to his birthday, we can’t wait to see your f-
Fffffttttt- bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha, heee hee heee, hoo hoo hooo hoo”

The pink pony fell on her back, holding her sides, rolling back and forth laughing. By the time she stopped, I realized I must have had some remnants of Diamond Tiara’s experiments still on my face. Or at least some remnants of the allergic reaction I had gotten to some of the products. I could still feel a bit of the swelling.

“Laughter,” I greeted. “You said ‘his’ birthday? Whose?”

Pinkie instantly jumped to her feet, saluting. “My pet alligator. Gummy is turning one year old tomorrow. See you at the party!”

That put it the day before Pinkie’s birthday party, I noted silently. “I’ll be there… well, where? And is Diamond invited as well?” I asked.

“Sugarcube Corner, or course!” Pinkie wheezed out excitedly. “And of course Diamond is invited. She’s the life of any party! Or at least the afterlife of any afterparty!”

“I meant my daughter. Diamond Tiara,” I pointed out. “Though I’ll make sure someone brings DD’s materia as well.”

Pinkie drew in an unhealthy amount of air, grabbed her head with both forehooves and bugged out her eyes a bit. “Diamond Tiara is your daughter?!”

“Adopted,” Diamond and I said in unison.

Pinkie instantly returned to normal. “Oh, well that makes sense. Bye!”

Chapter 40: Party of One

“Your cooking’s getting a lot better,” Diamond Tiara complimented me as she finished her breakfast. “Actually… suspiciously so. What’s your secret?”

“I paid Cracked Eggs to give me some private lessons,” I admitted. “Your parents let him go recently, so he was eager for the bits. I’ve been thinking maybe I should lend him enough to start a restaurant. What do you think? Ponyville have enough market for a place that specializes in breakfasts?”

“That’s… not a terrible idea. I’ll ask around, see what everypony thinks,” Diamond offered. “He was always pretty good, and our family used to have enough staff to run a restaurant just for our own use. If they’re all on the street…”

“Maybe you could manage it?” I thought aloud. “Or at least to get it started. Isn’t that what your cutie mark is about? Leadership?”

“You got that right,” the filly said, tapping her rump with a hoof, grinning proudly. “But… with school and the Elements of Greatness… do you think I have time?”

“Speaking of which… let’s get you to the main road before you’re late for class,” I said. With that, I took my sword from its hooks on the wall and slipped it into position on my back, while she strapped on her Poison Joke sprayer. “Maybe it’s not the right time, or maybe you take a high level role, delegate the day to day stuff. We’ll talk more about it tonight.”

“After Pinkie’s surprise party, you mean?” she inquired as we headed for the door. “Don’t forget, you’re on distraction dut-” She cut off with a look of shock as a knock on the door was accompanied by Pinkie’s face pressed up against the glass of the adjacent window. There was a basket of pink envelopes affixed to her head.

I opened the door and greeted her. “Pinkie! What brings you here?” I asked.

“I came to invite you to Gummy’s after-birthday party! It’s this afternoon at three!” she announced, offering me an envelope.

“This afternoon?” I inquired, as a quick check of the contents of the envelope assured me that was the case.

“This afternoon, this afternoon!” she verified.

“I’d love to…” I started.

“But… you’ve got some suspiciously coincidentally timed obligation you have to attend to…?” she said, eyeing me a bit creepily.

“Not really, no,” I said. “The matter Diamond and I were just discussing is going to take some time to decide on, and even longer to get started. If we do it at all. Our weekly training session isn’t until tomorrow, and Diamond will still be in school at that point… You don’t mind if she and her friends join after class, do you?”

“Of course not! The more the merrier!” Pinkie declared, before a quibble snuck onto her lip.

“Great! Actually, why don’t you come with me to drop off DT, and then we’ll head over to your venue and I’ll help you set up?” I offered. “It’s at Sugarcube Corner again, right? Like the birthday party last night?”

“Really? That’s super nice of you to offer! But I don’t think I’ll need much help setting up,” she said, the quibble appearing again.

I looked at her with concern and suspicion. Something was wrong. “Let’s get back to town before my daughter is late, then we’ll talk more.”

We actually got all the way to the schoolhouse and saw Diamond off to join her friends before finding a bench to sit on. “What’s the problem, Pinkie?”

She looked at me, then looked away, not ready to talk.

“Laughter. Report,” I ordered.

Reflexively she saluted me before looking at me with the firmness of a soldier and beginning. “Sir, Operation Gummy’s After-Birthday Party is off to a rocky start, sir! And I know rocks, having grown up on a rock farm,” she added, laughing a bit before depression crept into her voice. “I’ve invited everypony close to me, but even though everypony said the party was great, they’ve all got excuses why they can’t come today. Twilight had to study. Applejack had to pick apples. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy had to housesit for a bear…”

“Harry?” I inquired.

“You know him?” Pinkie asked.

“Of course, we’re neighbors. I actually live closer to him than Fluttershy does, though they’re closer personally. He’s pretty nice, at least to anyone Fluttershy has vouched for,” I said. “And Rarity’s in a rush to finish Nanaki’s suit and my dress for the Gala.” That much was true, but most of the others were busy setting up Pinkie’s birthday party. I was amazed Applejack managed to lie well enough to fool anypony, even with such an easy choice of excuse.

“Where is Nanaki, anyways?” Pinkie inquired. “I haven’t seen him at all?”

“Not sure. I haven’t seen him since we watched Rainbow Dash’s race together,” I said. “I’m sure he’ll turn up though. We’ll look for him later. In the meantime… you and I don’t spend that much time together, outside of training and missions. Why don’t we take this chance to fix that?”

“Wait… the one day everypony else is too busy, you’re suddenly free?” Pinkie asked suspiciously as she cast me a withering look. It was hard to meet her eye, but I did, and eventually she returned to her usual look and happily chanted “Okie dokie lokie!”

“WHO’S THERE?!?” Berry Punch demanded for the tenth time, looking all up and down the street but seeing no one. She slammed the door to her home and slumped against it from the inside. Ethereally Pinkie Pie and I got our laughs out before the summoning ended and we faded back into reality.

Pinkie moved to knock one more time, but I stopped her, shook my head, and led her away, down the street, out of hearing. “That was kind of funny, but any more and it’s just plain mean,” I told her.

“Besides, the joke was starting to get old,” John stated. “Though it was probably the funniest knock knock joke I’ve witnessed in ages.”

“Back home, they used to call it ‘ding dong ditch’,” I said. “Of course, part of that being that we would ring the doorbell instead of knocking. And we would physically flee out of sight rather than being able to use a conveniently invisible summon to hide. Still, it reminds me of my boyhood.”

“I remind you of your boyhood, do I?” Pinkie Pie asked, with an oddly seductive tone to her voice. It wasn’t long lasting though, as she shifted gears suddenly. “Let’s get lunch! My treat!”

I shrugged, and followed her to her workplace. “Sure but… I can’t eat nothing but sweets.”

“That’s okay! I invented something special just for you!” she said. She dove behind the counter as we entered the building. “Just a wait right there a few minutes, and have some scones.”

I helped myself to a few, enjoying the quality while pondering Pinkie’s behavior. I had generally taken to heart the widespread advice to not ponder Pinkie’s behavior, as a rule. But by now I knew her well enough to differentiate normal Pinkie Pie zaniness from… whatever was going on today.

Her initial depression was easily explained. The planned surprise party had led to her latest attempt at a party being rebuffed without an honest explanation. Of course it would get her down. Who knows what wild explanations she’d come up with in her head. Maybe she thought everypony suddenly hated her or something crazy like that.

None of which explained the bedroom eyes she’d given me a moment ago. The easiest explanation for that? I was too pent up from pursuing Nanaki with no relief, neither from my quarry nor my previously ongoing ‘friends with benefits’ relationship with Rainbow Dash. I probably was imagining it entirely. I blushed a bit, remembering that she and Nanaki had already had an intimate evening together themselves.

“Here you are. Fish cakes!” she announced, plopping a tray of steaming hot objects before me. “Dig in!”

I was cautious about them at first, but after a bite I was pleasantly surprised, and ate eagerly. The pink mare set a white cake with yellow frosting on the counter to my side, and dug into that as what was apparently her lunch while I ate the more hearty meal before me. “These are pretty good. Where’d you get the idea from?”

“Well, everypony likes cake, but you’re not a pony and you like fish, so I thought I’d make you fish cakes,” Pinkie cheerfully explained. I blinked a few times before realising I was thinking about it too hard. “I’m glad you like them! It was hard to be sure, since I don’t care for fish.”

“I’d be happy to have them again sometime. They might be better with the right sauce, but I’m not sure what would go with them,” I speculated, mostly just to make small talk.

“Oh? Maybe I’ll talk to Gilda about it. Griffons like fish, maybe she has a favorite sauce,” Pinkie suggested.

“Gilda… is she still holding a grudge against me?” I inquired.

“Heck yeah,” Pinkie said. “Holding grudges is something griffons are great at! But she’s friends with me now, and Rainbow Dash of course. Maybe I won’t tell her it’s for you. I wonder if she’s met Nanaki yet? OH! Were you thinking of adding her to your harem? Because that would be like super-duper-hard-mode hard. But I bet if we work together-”

I shook my head, but giggled. “No! No, nothing like that. Though maybe I should apologize to her at some point, and clear things up. Becoming friends might be a bit much to ask for, but as friends of friends we shouldn’t be enemies.”

“Good thinking. Oh! Maybe we should throw a Sorry-I-Punched-Your-Head-Into-The-Ground Party?” Pinkie offered. “What kind of decor would you use, broken pavement? It’ll be hard to make that look good, but I bet I could do it…”

I laughed a good minute before finally making it clear, “I really don’t think that’s a good idea. But maybe after I apologize, we can ask her if she wants a party with a more… tasteful theme.”

“Oh! Like rock candy! My sister and I make the best rock candy. I was just thinking of making the broken pavement decor out of rock candy,” Pinkie said.

“I didn’t realize you had a sister-”

“Three!”

“I should meet your family sometime,” I stated.

Pinkie gasped the kind of gasp she usually reserves for discovering a new pony had moved into town. It made me a bit nervous, as I wasn’t quite sure why it had happened. I looked over my shoulder, but there was nothing behind me that would explain the sudden inhalation. I easily recognized the few other ponies in the store as locals that had been here far longer than I had, even if I couldn’t recall their names off hand.

“Anyways… lunch was good, but shouldn’t we start getting ready for the party? Maybe head up to your flat, make sure we have all the supplies we need, check on Gummy,” I suggested. I felt a little bad at the prospect of making her work to setup a party that wouldn’t happen, but I doubted any such effort would ultimately go to waste. She’d gotten her Cutie Mark in parties after all, she was bound to throw another one within the week.

“My place? So soon?” she asked, clopping her forehooves together a few times. “Okie dokie lokie!” She began hopping in her distinctive fashion as she led the way up the stairs to the space she rented from the Cakes.

When we entered, I spotted a small monitor in a bulky case atop a wheeled cabinet. Some kind of computer was attached to it, with a disc tray extended. I spotted a white disc inside, with black lettering I couldn’t read from that distance. A piece of it seemed to be replaced with a piece of another disc, that one dark with a stylized 4 visible. I couldn’t imagine it would work, gluing pieces of two discs together, but I was also quite surprised to see any sort of technology like that in Ponyville to begin with.

“Don’t mind the mess,” she said hurriedly, as she kicked the whole setup into the closet and hastily shut the door.

“What was that?” I asked.

“Nothing!” she said before somewhat less unbelievably excusing, “Just something I borrowed from Button Mash!”

Whatever it was, I didn’t have reason enough to hound the poor mare over it, so I let it go. It didn’t look like a Shinra design in the slightest, so it must be something some pony had made. While Equestria’s technology generally wasn’t all that impressive, the occasional pony with a technical cutie mark could make things well beyond what you would expect.

I glanced over at the calendar… Gummy’s birthday was well highlighted, though crossed off as it was yesterday and now in the past. But her own birthday wasn’t even mentioned on her own calendar. I would suspect we had the wrong date for it ourselves, except that Twilight had recorded all of our birthdates when she was testing the Sense materia, including my own birthdate in local time. Pinkie had been quite upset for several hours when she learned we had missed it before we had that particular materia at our disposal.

That done I moved on to checking on Gummy, lightly petting the toothless alligator as he pointedly ignored me. I always wondered about all the feelings and opinions Pinkie ascribed to her pet. He was the least interactive pet I had met that wasn’t literally a pet rock. Either the mare had some unfathomable insight into her pets’ psychology, or she was just making things up; neither possibility was easily dismissed. “Gummy seems to be in good spirits. If we’re having a smaller party this time, we could just set up in here.”

“Oh? So kind of a… ‘private party’?” she inquired. “I wasn’t quite sure if that’s what you were going for, but… I’m down. In fact… there’s no reason we can’t get started now, is there?”

“A private party?” I asked. I was sure I’d heard that term somewhere. Rainbow had mentioned them, maybe? I didn’t recall the context.

“I usually only throw them for stallions, but I’m happy to make an exception for you,” Pinkie stated, causing me to blush as I guessed what she had in mind. “Be right back! Why don’t you make yourself comfortable on the bed?”

I looked around when she disappeared back downstairs. There wasn’t much to sit on in the room aside from the bed, so I sat chastely upon it, watching for her return while my mind whirled. Assuming I wasn’t just going out of my mind with crazy assumptions, should I take her up on the offer?

I was trying to get things going with Nanaki, and it felt like it would be hypocritical, at best. On the other hand, it would be hypocritical of him to make a fuss about it, since he had slept with the party mare himself not long ago. And what about Rainbow Dash? What about Rainbow Dash?

“Here you go!” Pinkie said, surprising me out of my reverie. She was hoofing me a cracker loaded with a creamy cheese of some kind. As I ate it, I perused the tray on her lap as she now sat beside me on the bed. It was covered in hors d'oeuvres and sweets, things quite common to her parties, though the quantities were more manageable, suitable for two. The only thing that really stood out as odd was the containers of chocolate sauce and whipped cream. If there was bowls of ice cream, or something else suited to put them on, I wouldn’t wonder. With Pinkie, I hadn’t ruled out that she intended to put them on her crackers, but my mind was considering more intimate possibilities.

I slipped my left arm around her, mostly out of geometric necessity, as I reached over to deftly assemble a little cracker and cheese sandwich and lightly popped it into her mouth. “Thanks, Pinkie. These are quite tasty.” I hadn’t really decided what to do, which left me on a dangerous sort of social auto-pilot, exactly the sort of thing that had gotten me in too deep with Rainbow Dash more than once. But Pinkie’s oddness unbalanced the whole thing. I didn’t want to call her out on my assumptions, in case everything really was innocent, and she hadn’t actually done anything that wasn’t a double entendre at best.

She giggled as she downed the food. “Of course! Good food is the foundation of a good party! Well, second to good friends in attendance. And you’re clearly the best friend… at least at this party.” The thought saddened her a bit, and her mane seemed to somehow deflate, losing a bit of its curl. “Cloud… why doesn’t anypony want to be with me today?”

“I’m here,” I pointed out. “Everypony else is busy. They have other responsibilities, and… frankly, two parties for one alligator’s birthday is a bit much. Everypony loves you, and your parties, but they don’t have time to party every day.”

“So… they’re not mad at me and don’t want to be my friends anymore?” Pinkie asked, almost pleadingly.

“Of course not. Why would you even think that?” I asked.

“Well, the only reason I could think of… did everypony know you were coming to spend time with me today?” Pinkie asked.

I wasn’t sure I could explain it without letting loose the secret of the party, but I wasn’t fond of lying either… especially when so much dishonesty today had made her on edge and suspicious. “Yes, they did,” I admitted.

“I knew it!” she declared, before tossing the tray to the floor and lunging at me, pinning me to the bed with a surprise hug and a forceful kiss. By the time I recovered mentally enough that I could fight back, I was distracted by the surprisingly sugary taste of her tongue against mine, the strength and passion of her hug, and the soft feel of not only her pink fur but also the layer of fat beneath that gave her a squish Rainbow Dash simply didn’t have.

“Knew what?” I asked, when I finally gathered the will to break off the makeout session.

“Well, when everypony made excuses to avoid me today, except you, I knew they had to be up to something. And since you were freakishly available, and extra super chummy and sweet, and not too subtly paved the way to get me alone in the bedroom, I knew it just had to be that you wanted me! Like, wanted me wanted me. Does Nanaki know? Are you two going for the full harem ending together now? Or is this like your pre-awesome-date-bachelorette-party to get one more mare in before you settle down with your special some-human?” the mare rattled off rapidly.

“It’s not like that… exactly,” I protested. Though at this point I was pretty worked up myself, and from dating Dash I knew ponies could easily catch the scent even through my clothes. I didn’t know if Pinkie would recognize it for what it was, though, as it was different enough from a mare’s arousal. “We, umm… we’re supposed to meet up with Nanaki and Applejack at Sweet Apple Acres a little later.”

“At 3?” she guessed, before grabbing the whipped cream off the tray Gummy was starting to empty of food. “We still have time for some more fun.” Without waiting for a response, she leaned back and deployed a thick patch of the white foam between her legs. “Come on, you know you want a taste of Pinkie cream pie.”

Dash’s rainbow contrail faded from view as she stopped in the middle of the room, arriving just in time to catch that final line. We traded looks and then both couldn’t help but break down laughing.

Pinkie looked back and forth between us, her mane slowly deflating until it was entirely straight, her ears drooped. “This… was all a prank? You got me…”

“No! No, nothing like that. Listen… why don’t you take a cold shower, then come with us. I’m sorry you misunderstood the situation, and I let things get out of hand,” I apologized. “You’re an incredibly sweet mare, but I’m not looking for anything like that right now.”

“And if she was, she’s got me,” Rainbow said proudly.

I rolled my eyes, deciding not to fight that too hard. “I am looking to have a good time with my friend Pinkie Pie today. Now get cleaned up and come on.”

She was still looking a bit depressed when we approached the barn, up until the moment our friends popped out to yell surprise, filling the room with confetti and balloons and revealing the birthday cake and presents.

“Oh, how could I have forgotten my own birthday!?” Pinkie exclaimed, grabbing everyone and pulling us all into a big group hug as her mane reinflated to its usual poofiness.

As the party got started, I was convinced everything was going smoothly… right up until Nanaki slipped up next to me, gave me one of his trademark smirks and commented. “You know, getting her to shower before coming was a good idea. But you and she missed a spot; she still had a bit of whipped cream on her ‘birthday suit’.” He left me blushing hard as he gave me a wink before heading back into the mix.

Author's Note

Here's what Pinkie had in her drive. Make of it what you will.

Chapter 41: The Best Night Ever

“Welcome to Carousel Boutique, where every garment is chic, unique, and magnifique,” Rarity greeted reflexively as she opened the front door. “Oh! Hello, Cloud and… Cloud’s daughter. Come in. And please forgive me, I’ve forgotten your name, darling.”

“Diamond Tiara… I’m one of your sister’s best friends, how can you not remember me?” Diamond asked.

“DT… she apologized, no need to rub it in,” I said. “Besides, you’ll be staying here a few days, you don’t need to antagonize the babysitter.”

“Foalsitter,” Diamond corrected. “And I’m sorry, Rarity. I’m… working on unlearning my birth mother’s bad habits. I’ll try to be more polite to you this weekend.”

“Oh, it’s quite alright, darling,” Rarity assured, forgiving her easily. “Spike and Sweetie are in their room, upstairs. Why don’t you go join them for now? I’ll let you know when dinner is ready.”

She watched Diamond go, waiting for the door to close before turning to me and whispering loudly. “Are you sure this is a good idea? You do know that those two are… you know.” She clopped her hooves lightly in a gesture that probably meant something to other ponies. But even without that hint I knew what she meant.

“Sexually active? I already know Spike took Diamond Tiara’s virginity. And that there’s no way he’ll impregnate her without magical help,” I pointed out. “If does go for something like that again, I’d rather it be with him than some random colt. And there’s not much we can do to stop them from sneaking something in when they’re gathered as a club, especially once the clubhouse is repaired.”

“Oh… well, those are fair points. And It’d be hypocritical of me to give you too hard a time about that, given my own sister,” Rarity said.

“And she’d call me a hypocrite if I tried to stop her, given what I’m hoping to do with Nanaki,” I admitted with a blush. “He seemed quite impressed with the suit you made him. I can’t wait to see it on him.”

“Speaking of which, your dress is right over there,” she said, pointing it out where it hung on a rack. “The final alterations are ready to go.”

“I just hope I don’t make a fool of myself out there,” I said, gathering up the dress. “I’ve never danced before, and doing it surrounded by ponies is just going to make it that much more awkward.”

“Don’t fret too much, darling,” Rarity said. “This is Nanaki we are talking about, I’m sure he of all pon- people will be forgiving of a few missteps, even literal ones.”

“He does seem pretty slow to anger,” I agreed. “It’s one of his attractive qualities.”

“Of which he has many… more than enough to make up for his looks,” Rarity agreed.

I looked at Rarity a bit surprised, before the obvious occurred to me. Watching my expression change, Rarity added “He’s certainly exotic, from my point of view, but I prefer a nice white coat on my stallions, a bigger and more pony-like build, ideally a nice long horn though I try to be open minded there.”

“I tried being open minded, myself,” I said. “But I’m quite fond of Nanaki’s looks. Of course… if we ever do get back to our old selves… I’m sure that will be an awkward transition, but as long as it’s both of us it shouldn’t be too much of a problem.”

“More than you might think,” Rarity muttered quietly before meeting my eyes again. “You should get going, darling, you don’t want to miss the train!”

“Right… Diamond! I’ll see you in a few days! Have fun and be good for Miss Rarity!”

Rarity’s comment had wormed its way into my head during the walk to the train station and the process of getting ourselves situated in the car. Nanaki could comfortably be quiet for hours on end, so he didn’t interrupt me at first, letting my mind work and quietly observing my movements and facial expressions. I wonder what he thought I was thinking.

I dismissed a number of possibilities. If Nanaki was ugly as a woman, how would Rarity even know? It’d have to be his own opinion on the matter, and that was often inaccurate or exaggerated. In any case, if we were well bonded by the time it came up, we would get through it fine, I was sure.

Perhaps he had been particularly young or old, but I doubted that. He was rather wise and patient for his age, but that seemed more an effect of his grandfather’s teaching. Thinking back, the best I could think was his own sexual attractions. He’d admitted his first lover was a female quadruped, a rare member of one of the few other sapient races on Gaia. So perhaps the expected awkwardness came from him being a former lesbian.

That seemed the most likely to me, and again I expected it to work out easily enough, if we were a true couple by the time it came up.

“You seem to have come to a decision,” he commented as I looked up to see him smiling gently at me from the opposite seat.

I blushed, mind racing to think of what to say to that, not wanting to dig into the topic I had actually been thinking about. He waved dismissively, seeing my hesitation. “Whatever it is, I’m sure it’ll find its own timing. For now… let’s just enjoy the view and the company,” he said. He gestured to the window but didn’t take his eyes off me.

“Right,” I said. “I’m just a bit nervous. I really want this to work out… not just tonight, I mean.”

He nodded. “Tonight hardly matters, in the long run. I’m quite nervous about the dancing, myself, truth be told. I’m sure you’ll be forgiving, but quite a few ponies are going to be forming their first opinion of me based on how well I can move about the dance floor with you. I’m not used to being the center of attention like that. You?”

I shook my head. “At least I already have a reputation as a dragon slaying mercenary alien,” I said with a smirk. “Maybe some of that will carry over to you?”

Nanaki laughed. “Can’t say I’ve killed any dragons, personally, but I take your point. Let’s hope nothing like that comes up at the Gala. I left my gun and most of my materia at home.”

“Most?”

“I did bring the Revive materia, just in case. I’d hate to need it and not have it, you know?” he pointed out sensibly. “You could make the same case for the others, but I could only get Rarity to work one into the design of my suit.”

From there we filled the time discussing our opinions of my friends, passing the time as the miles passed by.

“Button Mash!” Pinkie said plaintively. “Pleeease! I need it now!”

“No! I’m cutting you off! Besides, do you have any idea how hard it is to import games from Japan?” the colt objected. “And you never give them back, much less in one piece.”

“But you’ve already beaten it, how many times?” the pink mare countered.

“Only once… I didn’t care much for the prevalence of the romantic subplot,” Button admitted. “Okay, fine! But only because it’s that one. No more.”

“One more?” Pinkie asked as he slid the disc under the door.

“What?!”

“Not yet… but my Pinkie Sense is telling me I’m going to need one more by the end,” the earth mare insisted.

“Pinks, I know you better than that. That’s not how your Pinkie Sense works,” Button Mash alleged.

There was a delay before she answered. “Okay, it’s not that sense. It’s the other one.”

“Genre Savviness,” Button said, before letting out a sigh. “I’m going to regret it more than this one, aren’t I?”

“Seems narratively inevitable,” Pinkie agreed.

“Whatever, just get out of here. And you better be on time with your deliveries. Speaking of which…” Button began.

In absolute defiance of physics, Pinkie pushed a double-stuffed box of donuts through the crack under the door before taking her leave.

As unfamiliar as Canterlot still was, it was quite easy to find the way from the train station to the palace. Princess Celestia had been generous enough to lend us the use of a guest suite for the evening, and we stopped there to wash up, get some rest, and finally get dressed before the start of the festivities.

“Rarity really outdid herself,” Nanaki complimented as I stepped out of the restroom. “Although, beauty like that takes more than just clothes,” he added, smiling.

“I’m sure the makeup helps as well,” I said. “Diamond has had me practicing all week.” I stepped forward a bit unsteadily, still getting a feel for my new shoes. They had raised heels, but only slightly, an inch. It was little enough that I felt I could pull it off, but high enough that I would need to adjust. “I kind of wish ponies had never even heard of high heels though.”

“It’s a bit surprising they use them, especially considering how lewd the effect is on them,” Nanaki commented. When I gave him a questioning look, he continued. “It pushes the mare’s rump up, angling it like she would if she were, well, inviting a stallion. In humans it’s not nearly so explicit, even if it is, in a sense, conveying the same sort of message.”

I paused, seriously considering abandoning the shoes, but I couldn’t bring myself to ruin the ensemble. Sometimes I hated what becoming a woman had done to me, and this was one of those moments.

“Cloud,” he said quietly but firmly, wresting my attention back to him. “You look beautiful, and I promise I’ll be a perfect gentleman as long as you want me to be.” He reached out a hand to accept my own. “Now let’s go enjoy the ball.”

We headed out into the hall, making our way to the edge of the gathering crowd of ponies waiting for their tickets to be checked over by the guards. “I feel like I’m an open book around you,” I said quietly.

“I’m quite practiced at reading people,” Nanaki admitted. “Honestly, I’m used to speaking much less. You’d be surprised how much you can learn just by watching and listening. Of course, it isn’t enough to use your eyes and ears, your mind has to be in it.”

“If you’re usually quiet, does that mean you don’t give much for others to read of you?” I asked.

“To the contrary,” he said. “The actual act of speaking distorts the facial expressions, and tends to provoke gestures based on the flow of words… there’s a lot you can see in someone’s silence that can be missed when they open their mouth. You’re often quiet yourself, but I’ve seen quite a bit from watching you.”

“You like what you see?” I asked.

“Absolutely,” he said, before being distracted for a moment, retrieving our pair of golden tickets and presenting them to the guard. We were soon let into the ballroom, where dozens of ponies were milling about in far more clothing than I had seen in my entire time in Equestria.

He began to lead us towards the Princesses, easily spotting them above the heads of the other ponies. But he kept a modest pace, giving us a bit more time to talk. “Today, I’m seeing just how feminine you can be, despite your history. But I’ve already seen the spirit of a warrior in you, and not merely a soldier. One who fights for what she believes in, and believes in what she fights for. A protector, with a powerful heart, and the mind and body to back it. One who knows how to bring the blade to bear, and when not to. In many ways a kindred spirit… much unlike our mutual friends.”

I nodded. “I’ve taught them to fight, but they aren’t warriors at heart,” I admitted. “I had my doubts about you at first, you know.”

“I know… The uniform set a poor impression. And I certainly earned some misgivings indulging Pinkie’s idea as far as I did,” Nanaki admitted. “Not that I regret it… I’ve gotten to know your friends quite well in such a short time, and they’re all good ponies, in their own ways. But it hurt you…”

“It wasn’t fair of me to be hurt by it,” I said, a bit coldly.

“Hearts don’t actually work on fairness,” he said. Before I could respond, we reached the front of the line. He bowed deeply to the two princesses, and I did as well, grateful that nopony knew any more about curtsying than I did. Or at least human curtsying. The mares ahead of us had been doing something that was probably the pony equivalent.

“Greetings Cloud Strife, Nanaki,” Luna greeted, perking up notably. “I am so glad you could both make it. But what of your friends? None of the other Element Bearers were able to make it?”

“We had only two tickets between the lot of us, the ones your sister originally gave to Miss Sparkle, shortly after our first encounter,” I said, declining to bring up the details of that night. “I don’t know all the details, but they changed hooves a few times before ultimately ending in Nanaki’s hands so we could be here tonight.”

“You should have asked me for more tickets,” Princess Celestia said. “I would have happily produced enough for all of your friends. I would have suggested it myself, but it’s been nearly a year since we sent out the original tickets. I didn’t think to question whether you had gotten enough.”

“We didn’t want to take advantage of our relationship with you, your highness,” I said. “Perhaps you could provide a dozen or so for the next one, though? Fourteen should be enough for all of the Elements, as well as Twilight Sparkle and Nanaki.”

“You are including the Elements of Greatness,” Nanaki inquired.

“Unless you think there is anything objectionable here the fillies should be kept away from?” I inquired.

“Not at all… I look forward to their presence,” Celestia said, perking up a bit herself with a subtle grin. “In the meantime, enjoy yourselves. There are plenty of appetizers, and the music should begin shortly. Of course, if you’d like to come sit with us and converse, that would be most welcome as well.” Her magic set a few pillows by her side suggestively.

“Perhaps later. You have quite the line waiting to greet you,” I said after a quick glance behind me. “Those appetizers sound nice though.”

“Before we go, though, let me say what a pleasure it is to finally meet you face to face, dear Luna. And to see you again as well, Celestia. I do hope this party is a true joy to you this night,” Nanaki offered before joining me in stepping away.

“I hope so too,” Celestia said before adding, in a voice akin to Fluttershy’s typical volume, “I doubt it will though.”

“Speaking of listening,” I said to Nanaki when we were dishing up some of the more human-friendly foods from the buffet. “Did you catch Celestia’s parting comment?”

“I couldn’t make it out, but I can guess the subject,” Nanaki said. “This isn’t really the Princesses’ kind of party, ironically. I think she’d have rather attended Gummy’s birthday party. Though perhaps not Gummy’s after-birthday party… I can’t really judge whether she’d go for those kinds of sweets,~” he said, giving me a wink.

I blushed fiercely. “You heard from Rainbow? I swear, nothing happened. But not for lack of effort on Pinkie’s part.” I stiffened for a moment, not out of any reaction to the topic but just an indescribable feeling of change overcoming me for a moment. I looked around, tensely, but couldn’t see anything off. The noble ponies and others who had manage to get tickets were mingling as they had been. The Princesses still greeting newcomers. The band were setting up to play their first set of the evening.

“She left much to the imagination,” Nanaki commented, “but I believe you. Not that I would have held it against you if you had gone farther. But I believe you’ve been rather straight forward on your intent in that regard.” He looked up at me again, his plate finally filled with a mix of fruits and egg dishes, and he frowned at the sight of my face.

“I hope I’m just being paranoid, but… I’ve got a bad feeling. Just keep an eye out,” I said.

“Mmm,” he acknowledged. “Not that I mind the look but… when did you get that scar on your nose?”

“Scar?” I asked, reaching a hand to touch my face lightly. It was deep enough to feel it easily, although I was quite certain it hadn’t been there even an hour ago when I had done my makeup. “I didn’t… keep a keen lookout. Something strange is afoot.”

We settled against a wall with our food, somewhere we could watch the proceedings easily while we fed ourselves. I was tense, even after Nanaki rested his hand on my shoulder, but the tension was not rewarded with any obvious outlet. We watched the Princesses and they remained safe. We watched the nobles as the music began and they started to dance, safely. We watched the musicians as they did nothing but play.

“Come on,” I finally said during a lull between songs. Some ponies were leaving the dance floor, and others joining, and we rode that wave out into the center. The music started, and we awkwardly took hold of one another, beginning to move in time with the music.

We stumbled, more than a little, and it would have been more embarrassing if my wariness weren’t keeping my mind off it. But as we went, I watched the ponies and quickly adjusted my form, guiding his hands to the right spots and quickly growing much smoother in my motions.

My mind reeled at that, insisting something was off. The way the ponies danced… well, actually it was surprisingly human like, with couples reared up to rest their barrels against one another and dance about on their hind legs. But it was really nothing like a pair of humans, and the idea that looking at them would help us in the slightest defied logic and made that paranoid part of me all the more active.

And yet. By the time the song was halfway done, we were having a blast, twirling apart and together again with a dexterity ponies couldn’t hope to replicate. We were dancing like we had trained half a lifetime for this moment, and ponies were starting to take notice. First those off the dance floor who had the freedom to watch more easily, then those around us who slowly took their leave to give us more room and a greater spotlight.

When the dance ended, hooves were clopped together and stomped on the ground as our audience cheered us on. My paranoia had faded, leaving me open to feel the embarrassment of dozens of eyes focused on me, and I blushed heavily as I hastily retreated, dragging Nanaki along with me.

We retreated from the palace entirely, taking a wide double door out into the adjoining garden. I found a rail to lean against as I caught my breath, reeling still from the social pressure.

“I’m guessing you learned how to dance the same place you got the scar?” Nanaki inquired.

“Seems like it,” I said. “I… really have no idea what happened out there.”

“It’s alright. It wasn’t bad, was it?” he asked. “We’ll be vigilant, but I rather enjoyed dancing with you. I was amazed I could keep up. And if anypony noticed you were leading, it didn’t seem to bother them.”

“It was… it was fun,” I admitted. “At least until I realized how many eyes were on me…”

“It’s okay… the night is lovely,” he said, gesturing up to the moon and stars. “We can spend the rest of it out here if you like.”

“It’s nice of you to say,” Luna said, clopping softly toward us. “Are you alright, Miss Strife? You seem rattled.”

“I’ve just got a bad feeling,” I said. “I’m hoping it’s nothing.”

“My sister is prone to prophetic ‘feelings’, are you?” Luna inquired.

“Not really,” I said. “I’m also not prone to spontaneous scarring.” I ran my finger against the bridge of my nose again. “I don’t recall being injured, and this wasn’t here an hour ago, but it’s more pronounced than where I was run through with a sword. Twice.”

Nanaki raised an eyebrow at that, but didn’t derail the conversation with the obvious questions. “Have you observed anything amiss here?”

“Not this night, no,” Luna began. “But we are still investigating a few suspicious incidents since our return from captivity. Nothing so… odd as your snout’s defacement. But we do suspect somepony on the palace staff freed Prince Rutherford shortly after his capture, and may have been responsible for Prince Blueblood’s injuries. Well, his initial injuries at any rate. We have it on good authority that Miss Rarity is responsible for his black eye, despite his refusal to press charges.”

“I hope he appreciates how lightly he got off,” I said.

“Unfortunately, our nephew does not seem to have that… perspective,” Luna admitted. “Please refrain from injuring him further, if you can. Though it may do him some good to be well reminded of the need to respect the mares in his life.”

“To you, I promise not to cut off the next generation. Just don’t let him know that,” I said with a vicious grin.

“I appreciate that, truly,” Luna said, though her grin mirrored my own. WIth a flick of her head she pointed him out, where he was having some hors d'oeuvres alone. “He is within, if you wish to speak to him now.”

“Aren’t you worried we’ll make a scene if we do?” Nanaki inquired.

“No, that is not something that worries me,” Luna said ambiguously. “I must return to my place. Enjoy the rest of the evening.”

She trotted off, making it almost to the door before a leather-winged guard approached her, taking her off to the side to discuss something. I watched long enough to see her look my way for a moment before refocusing on the guard, apparently not deciding to beckon me. Whatever the trouble was, it was hers to deal with. She could certainly find me if that changed.

“Oh my, there’s two of you now?” Prince Blueblood chose to lead with as we approached him.

“And we’re both friends of Rarity,” I answered pointedly.

The Prince winced. “Perhaps a more private venue if you care to discuss the details of that… embarrassing fiasco.”

“Yes, let’s,” I agreed.

We took our leave to one of the more private sitting rooms around the palace, one painted with a sunny sky depicted overhead and a moon and stars beneath, with sitting pillows distributed about. We took our seats, Blueblood more comfortable than either of us humans. At least physically.

“I’m not sure how much you heard from the mare herself,” Blueblood began.

“Nothing directly,” I admitted.

“She was a bit more open with me,” Nanaki said. “You cheated on her with a nurse.”

“It wasn’t my fault!” the Prince claimed. “The nurse deceived me. I didn’t see her approach, as I was just waking, and she bade me to keep my eyes closed. Somehow, whether by magic or skill, she made herself sound like my Rarity, and I had no reason to doubt her, especially when things got going, until I heard my true marefriend’s gasp.”

“No reason at all?” I questioned.

“Well… her mane style was a bit different, and the way she used her tongue… but it’s not unlike Rarity to change up either of those on a whim,” he pointed out. “The truly frustrating thing is that… after the deed was done, what would normally be something of an ‘appetizer’ if you will, I was too drained to do more than apologize pathetically to the fair maiden before sleep overcame me. I have nothing to blame it on but my injuries, but that seems… dubious to me. I don’t know what else could be the culprit, however.”

“Rarity mentioned that,” Nanaki said. “She had been willing to look past your transgression for her own turn, at least in the moment, but you declined and passed out. Did you tell her anything about the voice?”

“No, I was too mortified by my own failings at the moment, I feared it would come off as a cheap and deceitful excuse. Especially as the nurse’s voice sounded nothing like it when she parted, saying her farewells in front of Rarity,” Prince Blueblood claimed. “It was already a dire offense to be unable to ‘rise to the occasion’ for such a beautiful mare, to claim I couldn’t tell her sensuous voice from the much more plain voice of the help? I am certain I would have earned far more grievous retaliation for that insult.”

“You had a black eye, I heard? It seems healed now,” I said.

“After the incident, I requested a different nurse and doctor take over my treatment. They seem to have been far more competent, as I recovered far more swiftly after the change, including my new injury. Much more the royal medical treatment I am accustomed to, on the rare occasion their services are needed,” the Prince explained.

“That’s suspicious,” Nanaki said. “It seems as though this nurse had it in for you, and was sabotaging you in more ways than one. Perhaps the doctor as well, though that is less clear.”

“I’d like to meet with them both,” I said. “But… not tonight. Blueblood… I’m glad to hear there’s more to the story than you simply betraying my friend… but if I learn this was all a lie on your part, my wrath will be double what it would have been if you were simply honest with your failings. Now… let’s set this aside for now. I want to get back to enjoying my special evening.”

“A little mystery isn’t your idea of a good time?” Nanaki teased, taking my arm in his. “Then let’s go back and find you something more suitable.”

As we made it back to the hallway, I looked in the direction of our suite, considering for a moment before shaking my head. No, it wasn’t time for that yet. Not right after dealing with the Prince. “Let’s start by seeing about another dance.”

Chapter 42: The Happiest Ending

“Why don’t you just have some cake?” a bright orange maned pegasus mare asked her companion.

“I guess, but it’s just not the same. The crisp, flaky crust. The gooey, sweet, delicious apple with just the right amount of cinnamon,” the stallion replied, himself a pegasus with a deep blue mane. “I just really feel like an apple pie tonight for some reason.”

Both wore azure uniforms highlighted with yellow lightning bolt motifs, studded with topaz that gave a reflective sheen to the bolts. Recognizing Twilight and Rarity’s handiwork, I knew they would double as protective wards, any attempt to pierce or cut the cloth facing the hardness of the gems instead. Such enchantments had saved me from countless injuries in the Everfree already.

“Oh, hey,” the mare said, turning her attention to me as I came near. “You’re the umm, whatever you are. Cloud Strife, right? Did your pony friends make it here tonight? I was hoping to meet that talented young flyer again.”

“No. Rainbow Dash and the others didn’t get tickets… we didn’t realize we just had to ask the Princess and that oversight would have been solved,” I confessed. “You’re the Wonderbolts, right? I know Dash would love to spend some time with you, anytime you can make it out to Ponyville.”

“Ponyville?” the mare said. “That’s a hard sell with my schedule, but I’ll keep an eye out. Name’s Spitfire, by the way. And my wingpony here is Soarin.” She hovered to trade hoof bumps with Nanaki and I, before Soarin did the same.

“My date here is Nanaki,” I introduced. “I’ll let Rainbow know you were interested in seeing her. She might be able to take a trip to meet you sometime… you live in Cloudsdale?” After she nodded I continued. “I know Rarity and Twilight would want to hear how your uniforms are working out. Aesthetically, in Rarity’s case.”

“They look pretty sweet, especially when we’re pulling our stunts,” Soarin spoke up. “And they’re quite comfortable in general, but especially in a crash.”

Spitfire’s hoof reminded Soarin that the suit’s protective spells didn’t block feeling on the head entirely. “What he means is, the enchantments are serving us quite well, when we need ‘em. That unicorn knows her stuff, well both of them really. They must have saved us at least a dozen pony-days of downtime already from injuries during training. We really need to get them made for our cadets as well, but there’s no way we could fit that in our budget.”

“How many do you need?” I asked. “I might be able to talk the Princesses into funding it, or my friends into giving a bulk discount, or both. No promises, and you might be waiting a while for the finished product, but it wouldn’t hurt to ask.”

“You’d do that?” Spitfire asked. “We’d need a few dozen, at least… I can mail you the details when I’m back at my office. But I know they don’t come cheap.”

“There might be a few ways to make them a bit less costly,” I said. “Less expensive gem types, I’m not sure if there’s anything Twilight can do to streamline her part. They don’t need to stand up to combat against monsters, or look quite as good as your official flight uniforms, right?”

Nanaki hmm’d disapprovingly.

“You disagree?” I asked.

“I’m wary in general of cutting corners where safety equipment is concerned,” he said. “Though you do have some valid points. Let’s see about those other options first, and see if they can be made to afford the top quality gear. After all, even if they don’t fight any monsters, I imagine the trainees have more than their share of crashes.”

Spitfire laughed at that thought. “That they do, right Clipper?” she said, wrapping a leg around Soarin’s withers. The stallion blushed and looked annoyed. Clipper must have been an unwelcome nickname of his.

“We’ll see what we can do,” I promised, breaking away from the pair.

We approached Celestia, now that the herd had finally thinned out. I second guessed myself as we got closer; the mare looked exhausted, but she smiled warmly as we approached so we greeted her warmly. “Great party. Have you had a chance to do more than greet guests?”

“I’m afraid not. Speaking of which, I can’t stay for long. But I do wish to speak with you more… can you meet me after the party? I’ll see that you’re given the address,” she invited cryptically.

I traded glances with Nanaki. “We’d love to join you after,” he said. “Did you have a time in mind?”

“Eleven o’clock should do nicely,” she said as she stood up with regal decorum, paused to instruct one of the guards, and then made her way to a nearby private room. The brief glance as the door opened to admit her revealed it to be a lavishly appointed restroom.

“Miss Strife, Mister Nanaki,” the guard greeted formally, before his horn’s magic passed over a scroll containing an address and directions. There was no indication of what the place was supposed to be, but I recognized the street name as one of the main thoroughfares we had taken to reach the palace, so it was likely a public venue of some kind.

“I suppose we shouldn’t wait for her,” Nanaki said, looking around. “Is there anyone else we should greet before returning to dancing, or some other entertainment?”

I looked around, surveying the ponies throughout the room. Where they were dancing, some had reared up to nearly my height, but everywhere else I could see over nearly all of them easily. So I was easily able to make out a pair of taller ponies, midway between the typical size and the likes of Celestia, hang out near a corner and ponywatching. The stallion was white furred with a two-tone blue mane, powerfully built and clad in a red dress uniform. He was handsome in a pony way, but he seemed a little out of it from his facial expression. The mare by his side was a pink alicorn, with pink, purple and yellow mane, and striking green eyes on a face that would have been unbearably adorable if she were in a better mood.

“Who are those two in the corner?” I asked the guard while he was still in earshot.

“That’s Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, and Captain Shining Armor,” the guard pointed out. “Best keep your distance… they’ve both grown much less personable in the last month or two, even while they’ve been dating more intensely.”

“Any ideas why?” I asked.

“Stress? Politics? Your guess is as good as mine. He’s had more work of late with the mysterious security concerns around the castle. You know about Prince Blueblood, of course. And she’s a Princess but hasn’t really been granted much political sway just yet. The diarchs insist it’s coming, but won’t elaborate publically on what the holdup is,” the guard explained. “Could be something more personal, I wouldn’t know.”

“Perhaps she’s pregnant,” Nanaki mused. “I’ve heard the hormones involved can be quite unsettling, well before it’s more outwardly obvious.”

“They aren’t even married yet,” the guard objected.

“Then perhaps it’s the lack that is stressing them,” Nanaki offered.

The guard covered his snout with a hoof and snirked. “Yeah, maybe,” he allowed under his breath.

“We should greet them, however briefly. I think it behooves us to know all of the royalty of the land if we can,” Nanaki suggested.

“My, aren’t you two quite the exotic guests?” Princess Cadance greeted as we approached with a somewhat less pronounced sneer than she had had. “Can you even gallop?” she asked, laughing at her own attempt at humor.

“We were invited out of sheer irony,” Nanaki shot back, smirking. “I’m sure you can appreciate that as a royal wallflower?”

“Oh! Nice one,” she said, more impressed than offended. She offered a hoof for a bump, but he caught it and gave her a light kiss on the hoof instead, charmingly. I stiffened a bit, willing to allow it as it was chaste and befitting royalty, but the jealous instinct took some effort on my part to fight down. Shining Armor didn’t seem to have quite the same problem; he stared at the exchange in a bit of a daze, blinking slowly. “I’m Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, the Princess of Love. And this is delicious hunk of meat is my fiance, Captain Shining Armor. Shiny, say something charming.”

He seemed to regain some vitality for the moment, snapping a salute as he looked at me appraisingly. “A pleasure to meet you at last, Cloud Strife, Element of Magic. I’ve heard so much about you.”

I saluted back. “Captain. I’m sorry I can’t say the same. Word of your deeds doesn’t often make it to Ponyville, I’m afraid.”

“Ponyville?” he said, and seemed to be searching for a memory for a moment, eyes unfocused and moving in a way that didn’t match anything in front of him.

“Is of no import,” the Princess informed him, dismissively. To me she added, “Oh, I’m sure it’s quite a charmingly quaint place to live. But the captain is quite tied up with his duties here at the capital. I’m sure you understand.”

“Of course. We all have our stations,” I agreed. “You keep this place safe, and the other Element Bearers and I will keep our area safe. And of course, if you have any more troubles, you can always call on us. We’ve taken down a dragon, countless lesser monsters from the Everfree, we even broke up a siege here in Canterlot. If you need us, we’ll be here.”

The Princess seemed a bit put off by my bragging. Ponies didn’t generally appreciate violence, even when the cause was just, though something about her reaction seemed a bit different, even if I couldn’t place it. The Captain seemed appreciative enough though. “Thanks for that last one,” he said. “I don’t think I could have kept that shield up much longer.”

“That was you?” I asked, remembering the dome covering the entire city. “That was pretty impressive. And in the end, you bought enough time for us to do our part.” I offered a fist, and he met it with a hoof bump. “If you’re interested, we could spar sometime while I’m in town. See how well your shields stand up to my steel.”

“Are you swingers?” the Princess cut in suddenly. I sputtered and colored, caught entirely off guard by the tangent.

“It’s far too early in our relationship to consider such a thing,” Nanaki said, “but if we decide to go that route we’ll certainly keep you in mind, Princess Amore.”

“Then, perhaps you shouldn’t be getting quite so friendly with my stallion,” she said, with a bit of a hissing undertone to her voice.

“We’ll… just be going now,” I excused, leading Nanaki away from the odd couple.

“There’s something not right with those two,” he said as we got out of earshot.

“Like offering to jump into bed with a couple they just met?” I asked.

“Ignore that, it was clearly calculated to drive you off,” Nanaki dismissed. “She’s been keeping him on a short leash, and you were making her loosen her grip too much.”

I glanced back a moment, and saw the dazed look back on the stallion’s expression. “So… not just a jealous mare?”

“No. Something more, I don’t know what,” he said. “Perhaps worth mentioning to the other Princesses when we have a chance. I don’t know that we’ll be here long enough to give it the attention it needs. Besides… this is our night to enjoy ourselves and each other, let’s not let it get bogged down with all this ugly intrigue.”

“Another dance?”

“How long has it been down here?” Luna asked one of her guards.

“Hard to say,” the thestral stallion said. “The bones have been picked clean by rats long enough ago there isn’t even a smell anymore, but they haven’t dried out entirely. At a guess, I’d say he never actually escaped. That would mean he has been here since slightly after your own imprisonment.”

“You’re sure it’s Prince Rutherford?” she inquired.

He shook his head. “I don’t see what other yak it could possibly be. Maybe one of his rescuers that was left behind for some reason? The crown isn’t here, so if the one who escaped was an imposter they have the real crown on their head. This one has his build, as far as I can tell from the bones.”

“What did he die of?” Luna inquired.

“I can’t be sure, but he was chained here in this cavern, well outside the prisons. I think he may have just starved to death. The only breakage of his bones is where his limbs were chained; I think he may have broken his own limbs straining desperately for escape,” the guard offered grimly. “If he was poisoned or the like it would have been more merciful, but there isn’t anything to suggest it.”

“Thank you, Dire Omen,” the alicorn said softly.

“Ma’am?” he replied.

“Yes?” she questioned.

“I’d really like to stop living up to my name,” he said.

She sighed and nodded. “Why don’t you take a few weeks off?”

“That’s not a bad idea… should I report this to anypony?” Dire asked.

“No. I will tell my sister directly. The Elements… perhaps we will bring them in later, but for now this is a royal inquiry. Let Cloud and Nanaki have their night,” Luna concluded. “This matter has waited this long, it can wait another day.”

“As you wish, Princess,” the thestral said with a salute before eagerly heading for the exit, beginning the trek back to the open night sky above.

For the rest of the night, we steadfastly avoided any drama. When nine o’clock came around, we snuck off back to our suite, our hearts still full of the intimate joy of dancing and otherwise simply enjoying ourselves together.

And the results were, in their way, quite predictable. Except for one, minor, technical issue. I was a virgin, at least in that most intimate of physical details. It hadn’t been an issue with Rainbow Dash, and we certainly found ways to work around the matter and enjoy ourselves. But despite our willingness we couldn’t quite fully consummate our relationship.

You see, he couldn’t quite fit in past that little crescent of flesh guarding my entrance without tearing it. And he actually, physically, couldn’t tear it. The mako energy that infused my flesh and made me far stronger and tougher than a normal human steadfastly refused to allow that bit to break. Our attempts ranged from uncomfortable to painful, until we agreed to leave it be for the rest of the night, and pleasure each other in other ways.

That left not only the physical impediment intact, but also the looming specter of a rather awkward conversation with somepony about how to solve the problem. But that would wait, for now.

The unaccounted delay kept us busy longer than we had planned. We left the suite at 11, rather than arriving at our destination then. The address Princess Celestia had given us, surprisingly, led us to a small donut shop a good distance from the Palace. We could easily recognize the Princess through the window, sipping a cup of coffee. We traded amused looks before letting ourselves in and taking seats to either side of her.

She sniffed lightly as we entered, giving me a knowing smirk, before ordering coffee and donuts for both of us. “I trust you enjoyed the evening? I hope the gala wasn’t too bad.”

“There were a few awkward moments, but on the whole a fine ball. You didn’t care for it?” I asked.

“Frankly?” she asked. “I thought it was as boring as watching paint dry. I had hoped your penchant for being surrounded by chaos would liven the night up, but nothing happened! Now… I know, it’s not your fault. I’m not suggesting you should have intentionally sabotaged anything. But couldn’t something interesting have happened? I would have paid good bits for a manticore to crash the party and liven up the crowd with a good panic.”

Nanaki laughed. “Perhaps we could have made more of a scene with Prince Blueblood or Princess Cadance,” he offered. “Were you stuck the whole night greeting an endless parade of sycophants on their boringly best behavior?”

“Pretty much. By the time I was done in the ‘little princesses’ room’, more had lined up,” the Princess said. “At least I get to enjoy my favorite little after-Gala retreat here. I don’t suppose you have anything interesting to bring to me now?”

“Actually,” I said, scratching my head a bit embarrassed, before finally digging out the red sphere and offering it to her. “You left this behind when you visited Ponyville. I’m sorry I have to return her in a different condition than you brought her.”

“What’s this?” the alicorn inquired as she took the materia, before gasping in surprise when the phoenix vanished from my sight and appeared in hers, standing over her cup of coffee. “Philomena! There you are! Oh…” Tears welled up in her eyes as she realized the reality of the situation. “I… I see.”

“It was an accident. Fluttershy was trying to take care of her, but didn’t understand what was wrong with her. When she called me in to help…” I shook my head.

“It’s alright Cloud, I understand,” she said, passing the materia back to me and closing my hand around it with both forehooves. “Take good care of her. I’m sure she’ll be a great help to you and your friends. Though I will miss her.”

“You’re sure? We’ve got a good amount of materia already. She’s your pet, you’re welcome to keep her…” I began.

“I’m sure,” the princess cut me off. “It’s good of you to offer, and perhaps I’ll borrow her from time to time to reminisce. But she’s a part of your destiny now, and I’m sure she’ll prove herself important.”

I swallowed at the weight of those words, nodding solemnly.

“Now! Let’s lighten up the night,” she said, lifting her coffee telekinetically and taking a drink. “Surely you two have some amusing tales from Ponyville?”

“Of course,” Nanaki said, “though the ones jumping immediately to mind aren’t suitable for polite company.”

“Those are the best kind!” Celestia declared over my objecting blush. But by the time we were a few stories in and on our third round of coffee I was as deep into the exchange as either of them.

Author's Note

Season 1: Complete!

Interlude 3: Interluded By Fireworks

“Hey,” Aeris said, quickly stopping and causing the others to bump into her in a small pile-up before everyone spaced out again. “Is that Cloud?!”

Tifa stepped up by her side, putting a hand on her chin as she studied the man from behind across the noisy and crowded floor of the Golden Saucer’s game room. “I don’t really think so. He’d have to have gotten a haircut, radically changed his wardrobe, and gotten a new sword.”

“There’s no reason he couldn’t have done those things,” Aeris rightly pointed out.

“And lose his classic chocobo-head look?!” Barret asked with a laugh. “Nah, that ain’t him. Might be worth scouting if he’s any good with that funky-looking blade though.”

“What’s so funky looking about it?” Aeris asked, curiously.

“That handle… looks like the handle of a gun,” Barret pointed out.

“What do you know about gun handles?” Cid teased.

Barret got riled up for a moment, before taking it for the joke it was and cooling off. That still left an awkward bit of silence.

“Well, I’m going to talk to him,” Aeris decided, starting forward.

“I’ll go with you,” Tifa agreed, and the pair of them strode forward. The two men eventually caught on and trailed behind them, letting them take the leave but being in easy reach to step in if anything untoward happened. Not that they expected trouble in the amusement park… but then again, they hadn’t the first time they were here either.

“You know, talking about me behind my back is kind of rude,” the stranger said, speaking loudly enough to be heard clearly even though he was looking away. Finishing his game, he got off the fake motorcycle and turned to face the group. “Though, perhaps I can forgive a couple of lovely ladies for the indiscretion,” he added with a confident smirk.

“Definitely not Cloud,” Tifa commented quietly.

“Hi! Sorry,” Aeris said, looking him over. “It’s just, a friend of ours went missing some time ago, and we thought you just might be him. You’re not, but… well, if you’re any good with that sword, maybe you could help us.”

“Sorry, I’m not a private eye,” he said. “Good luck finding your friend, but I need to find something a little more… worthy of me than a missing person’s case.”

“Well, we are kind of trying to stop a serial killer from obtaining the Ultimate Destruction Magic and using it to destroy the world…” Aeris said. “And he’s supposedly the strongest swordsman that ever lived…”

That gave the man pause, as she expected. “If that’s what you need help with, then I’m your man. Name’s Seifer Almasy,” he introduced, taking Aeris’ hand in his own and giving it a kiss. “You wouldn’t happen to be a sorceress, would you?”

“Actually…” Aeris non-answered.

Tifa rolled her eyes. “If he makes a line about you enchanting his heart…” she muttered.

“Then I’ll be your knight,” Seifer concluded.

“Great!” Aeris agreed with a happy bounce. “Oh! My name is Aeris. Aeris Gainsborough. And this is my good friend Tifa. And those are Barret and Cid. I… feel like there should be someone else, but that’s all we’ve got,” she said with a momentary frown.

“Me, of course,” Seifer said. “Lead the way… you did know where you were going, right?”

“We need to find something called a Keystone,” Tifa said. “We were told the owner, Dio, bought it recently for his museum.”

“That… explains why you’re in an amusement park when you’re supposedly trying to save the world,” Seifer admitted. “Come on, I know where his museum is.”

“Doesn’t explain why you were here,” Tifa cut back.

“So, this is it then?” Seifer asked, looking over the round stone on display. “You’re sure? I can certainly sense some kind of power from it. Mmm, feels a bit like you, Aeris,” the swordsman acknowledged before starting to reach for it.

“You weren’t thinking of just taking it, I hope,” said a man with a powerful, deep voice approaching behind him. Turning, Seifer regarded a massive, muscular, bare chest. After a moment, he was able to pry his attention away enough to notice the rest of the man: a long handlebar mustache, a thick belt with a massive gold buckle holding up a bit of red cloth that barely covered between his legs.

“We need to borrow this,” Aeris said. “It’s really important, but we can bring it back.”

“That right?” Dio boomed. His eyes settled on Tifa. “You did well in the chocobo races a while back, I remember…” Turning to Barret he added “and you… helped out down there.”

“Down there?” Seifer whispered, afraid to know the meaning. Tifa merely shushed him.

“Alright, I can let you have it on one condition,” Dio decided, looking right at Seifer.

“This ought to be good,” he said sarcastically.

“Entertain me!” Dio demanded.

“What do I look like, a court jester? You look like you’ve got that covered, actually,” Seifer commented.

Dio laughed, a bellowing sound that shook his massive body. “You look like a swordsman, and this is the Battle Arena. Show me your fighting skills. Just you, my boy. I'm expecting a good fight!”

Seifer smiled a little. “Okay then. My sorceress needs to see how good of a knight she’s gotten, anyways.”

As the blade bit into the dragon’s neck, the explosion of gunpowder from Seifer’s gunblade punctuated the moment with a spray of flame, smoke, and gore before the beast dropped dead. The crowd cheered wildly even as the swordsman turned his back on the defeated foe, flicking his blade to let the blood fly clear. He would clean it properly later, but this was enough for the cool guy act the audience was eating up.

Dio jumped into the arena, landing before the man at the exit to the area.

“Are you my next opponent,” Seifer asked, sounding almost bored.

“Ha ha ha. No. You won! Here’s the keystone, like I promised you,” Dio offered, holding out the artifact. Seifer grasped it easily in one hand. “You’re pretty strong… come back here and fight anytime. We’ve got great prizes!”

“But you don’t have anything to challenge me,” Seifer countered, before walking off.

The tram was out of order, stopping them from leaving the park, so they headed for the hotel within the building, which was oddly decorated like some kind of cheesy haunted house. The five of them settled in the lobby, around a small table.

“So, ladies. And gentlemen. I need to know what I’m getting into. Can you tell me what’s happened so far?” Seifer inquired. “I don’t really know what’s going on, since I wasn’t here from the beginning.”

“Yeah!” Cid agreed. “I’m all for it!”

“I been here since the beginnin’, an’ I still don’t know what the hell’s goin’ on either,” Barret complained. “Can you make sense of it all, Tifa? C’mon…”

“I’ll give it a shot,” Tifa promised. “We are going after Sephiroth. He’s the serial killer we mentioned… a former member of Shinra Corp’s SOLDIER division. He’s killed a lot of people, including the president of the company, and we’ve been following his trail. We know he must be in search of the Promised Land.”

“The Promised Land? What’s that supposed to be?” Seifer inquired.

“The Cetras return to the Promised Land. A land that promises boundless happiness,” Aeris offered airily.

“Cetra?” Barret questioned. “That some kinda disease?”

“That's what the Ancients call themselves. Hey, didn't you listen to the elders at Cosmo Canyon?” she chided. “...You don't 'know' where the Promised Land of the Ancients is.
You search and travel, until you feel it. Like you just know, '...this is the Promised Land.'”

“Can you feel it?” Tifa questioned.

“I think so,” Aeris said noncommittally.

“So Sephiroth is traveling the world because he's searching for the Promised Land? Is that it?” Seifer asked.

“That, and one other thing he's searching for,” Aerith pointed out. “The Black Materia…”

“While you were fighting,” Cid said to Seifer, “I heard from Dio that a man in a black cape was lookin’ for the Black Materia.”

“We keep hearing about those guys,” Tifa said. “Sephiroth wears a black cape, but we know there are others, with number tattoos.”

There was a pause, as if everyone expected someone else to say something, but there was nothing but awkward silence until Aerith filled the void. “You know… I think Hojo did something to those men in the black capes. But I don’t know what it has to do with Sephiroth though. That’s why I think we should just go after Sephiroth himself.”

“Yeah, me too!” Barret agreed enthusiastically. “It’s all just too damn confusin’.”

“What about the Black Materia?” Seifer asked.

Aeris looked away, apparently not wanting to address it. Tifa shrugged. Barret shook his head looking confused. And Cid started to snore.

“I better make sure these two make it to bed,” Tifa said, getting Barret’s help to drag Cid off.

Suddenly alone, Aeris gave Seifer a thoughtful look with a bit of a smile.

“Still not going to tell me?” Seifer asked.

“How about something else… You want to go on a date?” Aeris asked.

“We hardly know each other,” Seifer pointed out.

“That’s what dates are for,” Aeris pointed out. “Besides, you kissed my hand. I can’t be that unappealing.”

“Not at all. Alright, what did you have in mind?” he asked.

“Come on!”

When they got out into the main terminal at the center of the Golden Saucer, a staff member greeted them. “Tonight’s Enchantment Night. All the attractions are free!”

“Must be a stunt to counter the bad will from everyone being stuck here,” Seifer speculated.

“Oh, don’t be like that,” Aeris objected. “Let’s just enjoy the attractions. What should we do first?”

“There’s going to be an entertaining show in Event Square,” the staffer suggested.

“Come on, let’s go!” Aeris insisted, hurrying Seifer into the slide tube that brought them to the smaller saucer.

A stage was set up there, with some rather cheesy looking props and costumed actors. An audience had gathered, chatting among themselves while they waited for the show to begin. Suddenly, another staff member approached Aeris and Seifer. “Congratulations! You’re our 100th couple today! You will be the leads in tonight’s show!”

“I’m sorry, I don’t do amateur hour performances,” Seifer objected.

“Come on, Seifer! You’ll be my knight in shining armor!” Aeris insisted.

“Looks like they’ve already got one of those,” Seifer said, pointing out one of the actors on stage. “If you think I’m getting into a costume like that…”

“Then you’ll be my knight without shining armor,” Aeris conceded. “That’s what you said you were now, right?”

Seifer wordlessly conceded, letting her drag him up onto the stage.

“It’s not hard,” the staffer assured. “Just play it how you want, and the rest of the cast will cover up for you.”

They were taken backstage briefly and led to opposite ends of the stage, while a narrator set the scene. “Long, long ago… An evil shadow appeared over the peaceful kingdom of Galdia… Princess Rosa was just kidnapped by the Evil Dragon King, Valvados. What will become of her? Just then, the legendary hero, Alfred, appears!”

“Oh… you must be the legendary hero, Alfred!” the armored actor greeted Seifer.

Seifer looked about to rebuke him, but then glanced out to the audience. He couldn’t help it. It was his time to shine. He drew his gunblade and spun it dramatically before giving a bow. “Yes, it is I,” he said, his voice projecting like a seasoned pro. “Alfred, the sor- Princess’ true and faithful knight!”

“Oh, nice delivery,” the armored actor complemented quietly before projecting his next line. “Great sir Alfred, you must rescue Princess Rosa! But first, talk to the king!” He gestured to one of the other actors on the stage, one clad in a cheap imitation of regal finery, complete with a plastic crown.

Seifer let his annoyance show for only a moment before approaching the king, He was about to speak when the actor began his own lines. “Oh, legendary hero, Alfred. You have come to save my beloved Rosa! On the peak of a dangerous mountain dwells the Evil Dragon King, Valvados, who has kidnapped Princess Rosa. But! You can't beat the Evil Dragon King now! Talk to one who can help you.” The king gestured toward the armored actor and another, an elderly gentleman in green with a conical hat.

“You there,” Seifer said, pointing to the armored actor with his gunblade. “Squire! Come assist me. Bring my horse hither, we have a long journey to rescue the fair maiden.”

“I was supposed to be a knight,” the armored actor complained a bit, before stepping off stage long enough to gather two hollowed out coconut halves to bang together to make a clopping noise.

The final actor stepped in from the wings of the stage as Seifer approached, roaring out in a decidedly unimpressive fashion as the head of his dragon costume wobbled high above his true body. “Grar! I am Valvados, the Evil Dragon King! I have not harmed the princess. I have been expecting you!”

“Please, help me, Legendary Hero!” Aeris pleaded, doing her best to project for the audience, before whispering to the dragon. “Psst… like that?”

“Hah!” Seifer shouted as he lept forward, knocking the draconic actor aside with the side of his blade, and wrapping Aeris in his free arm. He leaned forward, pushing her back a bit over his arm as he kissed her, with all the passion of a horny teenager stealing his first kiss while intimately aware of the need to look cool in front of the audience watching them.

‘Finally!’ Aeris thought as she blushed heavily, kissing him back, eyes closed. ‘After all these years, Zach… no, Cloud? Wait, who was this again? Alfred? Finally I got a damn kiss.’ Despite the confusion in her more intellectual parts of her mind, her heart was aflutter as her instincts ignored all the relevant facts and simply enjoyed the amorous attention for all it was worth.

“Argh! Curses! The power of Love! My one true weakness!” the Evil Dragon King proclaimed, falling over and playing dead. However, it was a good bet the cheering of the crowd was for the couple still making out.

“Ahem,” the king coughed, thrice before the couple finally broke it off and paid attention to their surroundings again. “Oh! Look! Love has triumphed! Now, let’s all go back and celebrate.”

“Oh, how profound the power of love... And so the legendary hero Alfred and our story live on happily ever after,” the narrator concluded, before everyone on stage lined up and took their bows.

The next attraction Aeris led Seifer to was a gondola ride, carrying the two of them on a scenic wire route around the exterior of the building. Lit up as brightly as it was in the darkness of the night, it was quite a sight to behold, but both were too busy beholding one another.

“Alright, what’s the deal?” Seifer asked. For once he didn’t sound annoyed, despite the words.

“What do you mean?” Aeris asked a bit nervously.

“You’re a great kisser, so I certainly don’t mind, but normally women don’t ask men they just met out on dates,” Seifer pointed out. “So why? What’s your story? Something to do with your missing swordsman?”

Aeris sighed, looking out at the scenery just to avoid eye contact for a bit. “A little bit of that. My first boyfriend, Zach… left on a mission and never came back, before we could even find the time for a proper date. A few years later, Cloud came into my life and… aside from hair color, he was so much like him. Same mannerisms, same gait. They even both fell through the roof of my church, right into the bed of flowers I grow there.”

“And what, they look like me?” Seifer asked.

Aeris shook her head. “You look a little like Cloud from behind, if he got a haircut, changed his wardrobe and so forth. Of course, they both had these huge, practically identical swords. Way bigger than your sword, and they didn’t, you know, explode on a hair trigger.”

“I really don’t think I like you talking about my sword like that,” Seifer said.

Aeris blushed and giggled, covering her mouth. When she had recovered, she went on. “You’re a different person from either of them. And it took some thought to really notice the differences between them as well. But, well… Zach is gone. I really don’t think I’ll see him again in this life. And Cloud? I really don’t know. But even though he promised me, we never did go on even one date. So… I just didn’t want to miss the opportunity again. It’s kind of sad, isn’t it? You’re my third boyfriend, but my first real date… and first kiss.”

“Well, I’d be happy to help you catch that number up,” Seifer said before leaning across the gondola. As the fireworks began, they hardly noticed the sky lighting up around them.

Yet, before the gondola could land in its dock, Aeris pushed him back just far enough to speak freely. “This may not be our first kiss anymore, but it’s still our first date. You’re going to have to keep your ‘sword’ in its ‘sheath’.”

Chapter 43: For Want of Harmony

“Eeek!” Lyra Heartstrings cried out in terror. She had been merely walking out to the market for a morning grocery run when a massive rat with spikes growing from its cheeks emerged from an alley and gave her chase, teeth clacking as it missed several attempts to bite her flanks.

She tried lifting it with her magic, but the spikes on its cheeks glowed with the color of her aura and seemed to ‘pop’ the bubble of telekinetic magic. As she retreated toward her home, her roommate opened the door, quickly assessing the situation and starting to move to intercept.

Before the earth pony mare could reach the monster, however, a rainbow colored blur streaked past them, smashing into the creature and ending it in a single blow. The gemstones in Rainbow Dash’s uniform hummed with the kinetic energy that had been redirected into them by the weathermare’s rapid stop, but they held together and in the end the only harm to Dash herself was a mess of blood and gore on one of her hooves. “You’re welcome, ladies. No need to thank me,” Rainbow said in a transparent attempt to solicit thanks.

“Thank you,” Bon Bon said calmly, while Lyra was momentarily speechless.

“That was so… awesome!” Lyra gushed when she had recovered.

Rainbow grinned happily at the praise while giving off a bit of false modesty. “Well, you know… it was nothing. Anyways, I gotta get back to my other job. Those clouds won’t arrange themselves, you know.” And in another multicolored streak she was gone.

Pipsqueak felt the slight rumble of another pony sitting down against the far side of the tree his back was to, letting him know he wasn’t alone. He didn’t know who was on the other side, but still… the matter was driving him a little crazy and he needed to talk to somepony about it. It was too embarrassing to bring up with his parents, and anypony from school would be far worse. Maybe a stranger? Not seeing them made it a little easier.

“I… umm… I have something I want to confess, if you’ll hear me out. I’m sorry to dump this on you suddenly, but, well…”
"Can you hear me, Pinkie? As much as it pains both of us, I must discuss something serious with you."
Pinkie’s voice rang out with its customary cheeriness. “Of course I hear you! I’m a good listener. That’s what friends are for!”

His ears flicked. He recognized her, as one of the Elements of Harmony she was pretty famous, and she’d also served him baked goods more than once and helped with all of his birthday parties as far as he could remember. But she might not easily recognize him, and also… “Friend might be going a bit far, but… well I do need a good listener. So. Lately I’ve started… wetting the bed. Only it isn’t like when I was a baby… it’s white. It’s so weird but, it’s not like I hurt or anything.”
"I know your secret. You can't hide something like that from the Spirit of Chaos, even a fragment of him."
Pinkie’s voice came back much darker than it had been, a threatening calm to it. “Of course you do,” she said. “But… you’re not going to tell anypony else about it. Are you?”

Pipsqueak pushed back against the tree, stiffly holding perfectly still a moment before remembering she had asked a question. “No, ma’am.”
"Why shouldn't I? It'd cause such delicious chaos if I just told Cloud... or even my own marefriend."
Her tone remained the darker, deeper tone but took on a seductive hint as she spoke again. “You know, I can make this whole situation very good for you. I know what you like, better than you do in fact.”

His involuntary reaction made the situation even more confusing than it already was and he just ended up whimpering a bit before she continued.
"Compared to what I'm passing up?"
“But I can also make it very bad for you,” she threatened deeply. “Have you ever watched paint dry? Knowing your life depends on watching every glistening droplet slowly stop glistening, until the lack of change makes every second drag on into an eternity. That could be you if you cross me. So… you tell nopony.”
"How did you survive? Fine... I don't even have eyes anymore but they'd find a way to bleed anyways."
The bell from the schoolhouse rang out, making Pipsqueak jump to his hooves. “I promise,” he called out loudly before rushing off toward class, eager for the excuse to be anywhere but here.

Pinkie looked out from around the tree trunk, her long straight hair covering one eye as she watched the retreating foal, and saw nopony he could have been talking to. “What was that all about?” she wondered. “Oh well. Nice talking to you, John. But remember what I said. We aren’t going to have this conversation again.” She then drew in a deep breath, screwed her mouth up tightly shut and pushed the air out of her lungs, causing her hair to reinflate into its usual curly mess with enough force to lift her off the ground for a few seconds of hang time. “Better get to the morning baking!” she said in her usual cheery voice before bouncing off toward Sugarcube Corner.

Rainbow landed on a nice fluffy cloud, kneading it a bit like a cat as she prepared to settle in for her morning nap. It was a bit later than usual for her. Morning weather duties had taken longer with the random monster encounters. It was worth it, of course, giving ponies an up front view of just how awesome the fastest Element Bearer was. But extra exercise combined with a delayed nap were taking their toll on the speedster. She was even more ready for her nap than usual.

But before she could settle in, her ears perked up, hearing another cry of alarm. She was tempted to dismiss it when there wasn’t any follow up, but looking around more carefully, she saw the reason. It was Roseluck who had screamed this time, and had promptly fainted. A boar was stalking toward her from where it had been demolishing her flower garden, and seemed to be leaving a trail of flames behind with every hoofstep.

More ponies were calling out in alarm as they noticed the situation, but they were backing away in fear rather than addressing the situation. Only one pony both could and would reach it before it got its slavering jaws on the poor flowerpony.

Crack! The noise rang out in stereo, as both the creature’s jaw and one of Dash’s uniform crystals shattered from the force of the flying hind-hoof kick. She used the brief moment before the monster recovered from the attack to call on her inner power, using her materia to boost her own speed before returning to the fight with a devastating combination attack.

The boar wasn’t anywhere near as easy to dispatch as the rat had been, but it also wasn’t something that needed a full party to take on. She kept it off its hooves until it succumbed to its injuries, but she didn’t escape entirely unscathed herself. Scorch marks decorated her legs, as well as a couple on her belly where she had been careless.

The cheers of the ponies gave her a boost of energy, but her fluffy cloud was calling to her. And she almost made it back before the next call for help.

A strong clopping on the door brought attention, followed by a verbal greeting, and finally after a minute and a half, the glow of magic turning the knob to let the guest in as the hostess approached.

“Oh! Twilight, darling, what brings you by today?” Rarity inquired.

“I, umm, brought you this book on… ancient Anugyptian textile patterns,” Twilight offered, floating the text in question toward her friend.

“How… thoughtful,” Rarity claimed generously, taking the book in her own glow and setting it aside. “Do come in, though. Can I get you something to drink?”

“Coffee would be great,” Twilight said, heading into the main room of the boutique and checking the various doorways of the building without approaching them, obviously searching for something while obviously trying to avoid being seen as doing so.

As Rarity returned with a cup for each of them she nodded toward one of the upstairs doorways. “He’s there right now, and she’s off at school. Why don’t you call him down to talk, or else go see him.”

“Was I that obvious?” Twilight asked sheepishly. “What’s he doing in there, anyways?”

“Typically? At this hour he’s studying. He got a copy of all the textbooks the foals use, Cheerilee’s lesson plans from the last few years, and Sweetie Belle’s old homework for reference, and he’s doing his best to homeschool himself,” Rarity explained.

Twilight clopped her hooves excitedly. “Oh, do you think he’d let me help?”

“You can ask but… Twilight? Keep in mind, he’s… well he’s grown,” Rarity said. “He’s not quite an adult yet, but he isn’t the same little Spikey Wikey you and I remember.”

“It hasn’t been that long since he left,” Twilight objected.

“It was the reason he left,” Rarity countered. “Go. See for yourself, it’s why you’re here anyways.” Having said that, though, she floated the book over to herself and started browsing the pictures while Twilight moved on to other things.

“Spike?” the lavender mare asked as she clopped on his bedroom door.

“Twilight? Come in,” he invited. His voice was so much deeper than she remembered. It had been, since that night, she was forced to recall, but in his absence she always reverted to remembering that high voiced baby dragon that used to ride around on her back.

“Hi Spike,” she said with an uncomfortable smile as she looked around the room. His room. That he shared with his marefriend. Who had his face on her cutie mark… if they weren’t destined to marry, and soon, nopony was. “So… I hear you’ve been studying?”

Spike nodded. “I’ve been breezing through the math and science bits, and even tutoring foals on occasion, but there are a lot of bits I didn’t know from history, social studies, civics and so forth. Not that you didn’t teach me any of those things, but they’re pretty broad subjects. Honestly most of what you taught me there is harder subject matter than Cheerilee is teaching, but I ended up with gaps in some of the basic stuff everypony is supposed to know.”

Twilight cast her eyes on the ground, taking his words very hard.

“Oh, come on,” he objected, using a clawed hand to gently force her to look up. “You did a great job teaching me, and not just from books. But you also taught me that there’s always more to learn. And hey, I’m even earning a few bits with the tutoring. It’s not a career for me, but it’s a good job until I figure out what that will be.”

“A teacher is a perfectly good career,” Twilight offered.

“Maybe for somepony like Cheerilee. I don’t think it’s quite… me,” Spike said. “At any rate, I’ve been taking a lot of odd jobs around town, being a help and earning my keep. Even saving something up to rebuild the clubhouse someday. Maybe make it more of a… house house.”

“That’s… that’d be great,” Twilight said unconvincingly. Suddenly she found herself wrapped in a hug. A big, powerful hug that lifted her off her forehooves, and crushed the wind out of her without doing any real harm. Finally she leaned into it, regaining her breath and nuzzling his powerful, scaled shoulder. Tears ran freely down his scales as the hugged in silence for a little longer before breaking off into a more awkward silence.

“Thanks for visiting, Twilight,” Spike offered, eventually.

“You can visit me too, you know?” she suggested. “I have lots of books… being the town librarian and all…”

Spike nodded. “I’ll make sure to stop by in the next few days,” he promised.

Twilight nodded and smiled, trotting happily as she made her exit.

The call for help she heard wasn’t a physical, audible sound. It was more of a high pitched vibration deep in her soul, but she knew what it meant and where it came from.

“Consarnit. Not another one,” Applejack complained as she dashed through the orchard. Somewhere, one of her trees was under attack.

Wood voles had always been a challenge for the Apple family. But they were usually a manageable one. Especially with Fluttershy’s help, they could be directed to distribute their feeding and keep from doing too much harm to any one tree, letting them recover from the nibbling on their roots.

These were different. These new voles were the size of ponies. And as she came into view of it, she could see this one in particular was the size of Big Mac. It was skipping the roots and had its jaws clamped on an apple tree’s trunk, gnawing on it.

Her first, powerful buck knocked the creature loose, but made AJ cringe at the sight of bark being knocked loose as well. That tree was in bad shape already, and would need to be spared the rigors of bucking for apples this year, and maybe next. Picking the apples by hoof was always a lot of extra work, but it would be worth it to save a tree that was older than she was and still had many years of apple production ahead for it.

The vole charged, hissing angrily, but Applejack just sidestepped it with a well trained maneuver, leaving the loop of her lasso where she had just been standing, and then pulling it tight around the vole’s neck.

From that point she had complete control of the fight. The vole was bigger and stronger than her, but it wasn’t a trained fighter and it didn’t have the intelligence to compensate for what a well timed tug on its neck could do.

Applejack was sore and tired, but completely uninjured when the creature went down. But sore and tired was something the farmer was quite familiar with, and it wasn’t about to stop her from getting back to plowing for the spring planting.

“So, is Nanaki going to be your new daddy then?” Scootaloo asked, her tongue sticking out in concentration. She had a pair of long metal handles in her hooves that she was carefully manipulating.

“I guess? Maybe. That’s a weird thought,” Diamond Tiara admitted. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves though. They just went out on one date. And yes they’re spending the day together in Canterlot, and yes I assume they slept together by now. But Nanaki’s slept with like everypony. That doesn’t make him Applebloom’s brother-in-law.”

“Ah reckon ah’d have a lot of ‘em if it worked that way,” Apple Bloom agreed. “But I do think Nanaki and Cloud will stick it out and make it official.”

DT looked away, not wanting to address the issue.

“You miss your real dad,” Silver Spoon said gently, resting a hoof on her friend’s withers.

That got a brief surge of anger from Tiara. “Why couldn’t he have stood up to her in the first place?” she demanded, before shaking it off. “Look, we’re on guard, let’s look out.” With that she returned her focus to the woods around them, while Apple Bloom and Silver Spoon watched other directions. It would be dark soon, and the Everfree was dangerous enough in the day.

Meanwhile, Scootaloo used her long handled tongs to carefully place more of the blue blossoms into the sack at the end of Sweetie Belle’s pole, careful not to damage them or spread their pollen too much. Harvesting Poison Joke was no joke, but the need for the concentrated form to defend themselves with had only grown in recent weeks.

Howls rang out around them, as a pack of timber wolves made their presence known, and the three lookouts promptly rose onto their hind hooves, pressing back to back to support each other so they could more easily take aim with their squirt guns.

“Stay back!” Diamond demanded. “I’m in a bad mood, but if you flee now I won’t hurt you.”

The nearest wolves didn’t heed her warning. But as three of them fell to the ground writhing and crying out in pain from the herbicides the fillies were packing, the rest took that warning seriously, and backed off.

“Wrap it up,” Diamond instructed. “We need to get back home.”

“Eeek!” Rarity cried out.

“What, where?!” Rainbow asked, looking around in near panic for the monster. Judging from where Rarity was facing, she guessed it must have been right behind her, but a quick turn did not reveal a foe.

“You, darling! Just look at the state you’re in!” the fashionista said, before lifting the pegasus in her aura’s embrace, and starting to carry her off. “You’re going to the spa this instant, and I won’t take no for an answer. And then we’ll see what I can do about the state of your uniform.

Several tears had been ripped into the cloth in parts where the gems magically protecting it had been broken. Her hooves were covered in blood and less identifiable substances and had started to splinter in places. Her mane was a ragged mess and her eyes had dark rings around them from lack of nap.

“A-ight but nothi- too girly…” Rainbow muttered as much objection as she could manage. But in the end she wouldn’t have much say in the matter. The comfortable grasp of her friend’s magic put the pegasus to sleep before they arrived, and she was still snoring by the time the pair left.

Chapter 44: Return of Harmony

I gave a happy little sigh as our train approached the Ponyville station. The sight out the window was heartwarming. About a dozen ponies were gathered to wait for our return, most happily waving to us as the train slowed. The Elements of Harmony and the Elements of Greatness; both groups of close friends who took the time away from their own busy lives to greet us at the first opportunity. Zecora was there too, making her a far better babysitter than Scootaloo’s by my estimate. Twilight hadn’t made it, which would disappoint me had I let myself think anything negative.

But I couldn’t, not with Nanaki’s arm wrapped around my waist. My own hand rested gently on his knee, just one more point of contact between us. It all felt so right. It wasn’t just the species thing, though I was sure that played a large role. I was a woman, it was only natural my body would react more readily to a man than a mare. But it was so much more.

He had the heart of a warrior, making him a kindred spirit, but also a keen mind, sharp wit, and attentive heart. Having him to myself for the few days of our trip had been incredible. Addictive. I put aside the apprehension that lurked at the edge of my consciousness for what would happen when we were back amongst the ponies. Back amongst the friends he hadn’t actually ever rejected the idea of herding with.

“Come on,” he said as the train came to a halt, that irresistible smile on his face. “Our friends are waiting for us.” He climbed to his feet, offering me a hand up before I could rise on my own. I took it, if only for that extra contact. Ever since being intimate with him, by body craved his touch even in more mundane ways. Thinking back, there had been some of that with Rainbow at the start, in both directions, but I didn’t think it was ever so strong.

We gathered our belongings and headed for the door, stepping out onto the platform. “Welcome back to Ponyville!” Pinkie shouted as she fired off her cannon, confetti drifting down onto us from the shot, while two sets of balloons flew out, drifting away from one another and unfurling a banner with the words she had spoken stretched between them.

The other ponies greeted us more mundanely, as we greeted them each back in return. I didn’t hear Fluttershy’s greeting over the noise so I made sure to greet her at the end and not leave her out. Spike greeted me with a proper handshake, something that was a rare bit of nostalgia for me in Equestria. It was still strange seeing him standing eye to eye like this.

“I’m right glad to have y’all back,” Applejack said once the initial pleasantries were concluded. “But we’re all gonna need ta have a proper meetin’ here soon. The monsters comin’ out of the Everfree are gettin’ completely out of hoof!”

“Yeah, I mean it’s great that I leveled up like ten times since you left for Canterlot, but it’s getting to where I can’t get a proper nap in at all, and it’s affecting my other job,” Rainbow Dash said.

“Leveled up?” Nanaki asked.

“The Sense materia I made is able to estimate someone’s combat ability in the form of a number, called a level,” I explained. “I was level 30 when we last checked, about a week ago.”

“Forty five! Oh yeah!” Rainbow declared, doing a little dance.

“How in tarnation? I’m only 39, and I’ve been fightin’ critters left ‘n’ right back at the farm,” Applejack said.

“Don’t complain, darling, I’m still in my twenties,” Rarity said. “I just hope Cloud doesn’t give me too much extra training trying to catch me up to you two overachievers.”

“I thought it was a scale from one to ten!” Applebloom exclaimed. “I was so excited about getting to level 5…”

“You should be,” I told the filly. “I’d had years of intense training and numerous life or death situations before I managed to get to level 5. To be level 5 at your age is quite an accomplishment.”

“I’m level 7,” Diamond Tiara proudly declared.

“Great job,” I said, “but don’t be rude about it.”

Diamond lowered her ears a moment, before I gave her a reassuring scratch. “We’ve been training hard together,” she said, “We’re all at least level 4 by now. I only got ahead because we live in the Everfree and I got a bit of extra experience guarding our home with Zecora while you were out.”

“I barely made 4,” Silver Spoon admitted, “Living in a mansion with private security doesn’t help much with leveling.”

“Remember, Diamond. Being a leader isn’t about being the best, it’s about drawing the best out of everyone you lead,” I said. “It’s good to be good, and you can certainly inspire people through your deeds, but make sure your words are encouraging and not demeaning to your friends.”

Diamond nodded, a determined look on her face. I smothered it in a hug for a bit, before returning my attention to the adults. “I don’t see Twilight. She couldn’t make it?”

“I reckon she’s back at the library. She said she had some research ta do,” Applejack said.

“Shall we meet there tonight? Four o’clock? That will give us time to unpack, and still have time before dinner,” I suggested. With everypony’s agreement, we parted ways for a time.

“So… how’d it go?” Diamond asked while we waited on the laundry.

I looked around nervously. The laundromat was a public place, but we were alone for the moment. Ponies didn’t really wear enough clothes to justify home laundry machines. It was a wonder they had even invented laundromats, or that they could stay in business.

“Romantically, it was a huge success,” I said. “Nanaki and I were great together. We’re a great match, and I think he thinks so too. He’s very thoughtful, and strong of both body and spirit…”

“But…?” my adopted daughter questioned.

I blushed and hesitated for a time. “Physically…”

“Physically?” the filly prodded.

“I’m going to need some… medical help,” I said.

“Did he… hurt you?” she asked, alarmed.

“No! Nothing like that. More like he couldn’t,” I said cryptically. “Look, it’s way too embarrassing. We had a good time, but… because of the Mako energy in my body, it didn’t all go quite right.”

“But… you tried then?” she inquired.

“I’m not going into details,” I said. “Just like I don’t need details about you and Spike. But yes.”

“You don’t have to be so embarrassed about it,” she said. “Anyways, I’m glad you found your stallion.”

“Now if I can just keep him,” I worried.

“I saw him in the window of the train. You don’t have to worry,” she reassured.

“And you know this because you’re so experienced with dating human men?” I questioned pointedly.

“Aren’t your words supposed to be encouraging?” she questioned back.

“Okay, okay,” I said. “Still, he definitely likes me. We have a lot in common. And I know I have his respect as much as he has mine. We’re off to a good start. And… it doesn’t hurt that I like men better than mares.”

“Is it much different than it was with Rainbow Dash then?” she inquired.

“Yes, much,” I said at first, before giving it much thought. But then I added more. “Rainbow got a lot better after we, well, officially weren’t together anymore. If Nanaki hadn’t come along… maybe I would give her another chance eventually. I think she had some maturing to do, and Diamond Dust wasn’t doing us any favors when we got started.”

“But, you won’t consider letting her join in?” Tiara asked as she opened the dryer and we began gathering and folding my clothing.

“I’d rather not,” I said. “I don’t think we need that kind of complication, and Rainbow deserves a special somepony of her own. If they both want it though… I won’t say ‘never’.”

“I suppose. But doesn’t she deserve something until she finds him? Or her,” she asked.

“Like you’ve got Spike?” I asked, earning a nod. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but I expect you’ll leave him behind when you do find your special somepony. And that there won’t be any hard feelings between you because of it. Is that wrong?”

“No, that’s about right… It kind of has to be… if he lets himself claim me any more than he has, in his heart, he’ll double in size,” Diamond said with a shrug. “And, well… I can’t be too attached if I can’t be his.”

“I don’t think that would work that way for Rainbow Dash. She’s the Element of Loyalty, and that isn’t a coincidence. It’s her nature to attach herself to people with unshakable bonds. If we let her in, she’ll be in for good, or have a rough time breaking it off. She certainly won’t break things off easily when she finds somepony of her own,” I said. “I could be wrong, but I think she’d pass up a good thing just to stay loyal to us. So that’s not fair to her. If we let her in, it should be completely. She’d be your other mom, and have all of our love, as well as everything else that goes with it.”

Diamond nodded slowly. “Okay, I can see why you would hesitate then,” she confessed. “Still… she wouldn’t be the worst mom I’ve had.”

When we had taken care of the most pressing chores, I left Diamond to play with her friends while I joined the gathering in the Golden Oak Library. The other Elements of Harmony were all there, aside from Rainbow Dash who sprinted in a few minutes after I arrived. We exchanged pleasantries for a time before Twilight came to the fore and called the meeting to order.

“Ahem. Thank you all for coming this afternoon,” she began. “As you all know, the Tree of Harmony was killed during the fight with Discord and his Plunderseeds, shifting the balance of power in our area. Since then, Ponyville has been overrun by monsters.”

“You all seem to have been covering the problem well in my absence,” I said. “If anything, it sounds like the fights have gotten easier.”

“I noticed that too,” Applejack said. “And it’s not just us gettin’ stronger. We used to fight dragons, and hydras, and well… Plunderseeds. These days most of ‘em are overgrown varmints.”

Twilight nodded. “I believe the Tree of Harmony was using its influence to keep monsters in the Everfree, and out of Ponyville. Only the strongest monsters could overcome its influence and come out, even as far as Fluttershy’s cottage. With it gone, weak monsters are able to come out easily and threaten ponies.”

“We can beat them easily enough,” Rainbow said before yawning. “But it’s a lot of work and it doesn’t stop.”

“Princess Luna has sent reinforcements. A squad of thestrals to help guard the town at night so we can get our sleep,” Twilight said. “I’ve asked them to come to this meeting, and they agreed, but asked for a later start time. They should be here in about an hour. In the meantime, I have another matter to present to you. The results of my research into the Tree.”

“You’ve found something else?” I inquired.

“I have. Have you all heard of Starswirl the Bearded?” she asked. When nopony had, she continued. “He was one of the greatest wizards of all time. Really? Okay, well… there’s a wing at the Canterlot Royal Library dedicated to him, and I was able to have some of his writings sent over. Along with… a few personal comments from Princess Celestia confirming and clarifying some of the information.”

“Go on,” I prompted when she paused.

“The Tree of Harmony under the Castle of the Two Sisters wasn’t the first Tree of Harmony,” she said. Pinkie and Rarity gasped dramatically. “It was planted by the Princesses from their Elements of Harmony, which bore their cutie marks. The Element of Firmness and Element of Softness, was what she said they were called. Hers represents being kind and gentle, giving and permissive, which is obviously a key to harmony and social cohesion. While Luna’s represents the need for strictness and ‘tough love’, to balance it out and avoid enabling of destructive behaviors. After they used them to turn Discord to stone and deal with several other threats of their time, the Princesses planted them in that cave and they grew together into the new Tree of Harmony, replacing the one that had died in their time.”

“So… we need to plant our Elements like seeds ta grow a new tree?” Applejack asked.

“I think so, yes,” Twilight said. “I don’t think they need to be planted together, specifically. In fact, I’d recommend splitting them up. From what I’ve read, I think one of the most important things is that you need to spend a lot of time near the planted Element, so that you can empower it with its nature. For example, your Element of Honesty needs to be around, well, honesty. So you should plant it in Sweet Apple Acres, and continue being your honest self around it every day.”

Rarity looked a bit nervous around the thought, but everypony else looked confident, commenting in their own words about how they could do it.

“Should I be planting mine near me, or you?” I asked Twilight. “I’m the Element Bearer, but you’re a prolific magic user, and according to Celestia you were originally destined to use it yourself.”

“That’s a good question,” Twilight said. “Unfortunately, nothing in Starswirl’s notes even contemplated such a possibility. I’d say we plant it here, and you just come by regularly and do some of your training in magic use nearby. That way it can benefit from both of us. And it will be more evenly distributed.” She brought out a map of Ponyville with her horn’s glow, showing the relative proximity of my home to Fluttershy’s, while the library was off in a separate area from the other ponies’ homes.

“Anypony have any objections to this plan?” I asked.

Rarity raised a hoof. “Well, I do think I’ll miss what the Elements add to our outfits in terms of style and highlighting.”

“Can you make or commission replacement accessories to serve our aesthetic needs?” I asked. Rarity nodded and withdrew her objection. “Then it’s decided. It’s a bit late, now, but let’s plant them tomorrow.”

“We should actually allow a bit more time than that,” Twilight said. “Aside from Applejack’s, these new trees would be in or near public pathways and could disrupt their flow, especially once they grow. We should consult the mayor on exact placement.”

“Okay, point taken. Let’s not wait on Applejack’s, though. We’ll be able to see that much sooner if it successfully sprouts,” I suggested.

“On it, sugarcube,” the farmer agreed. “I’ve got just the spot in mind already.”

We discussed a few more details before we were interrupted by a knock on the door. Twilight opened it with her magic and a half dozen ponies trotted in. Their fur was in uncommonly dark shades compared to most ponies, their eyes slitted like those of a cat, and their backs bore folded leathery wings, reminiscent of those of a bat. They each had a pair of longer fangs that extended past their lower lips, yet still managed to look more cute than menacing, at least to me. All were clad in light leather, with the hilts of sheathed weapons visible in easy reach. These must have been the thestrals.

They walked with confidence, eyes scanning the room quickly as they moved in instinctive formation, though even their presence made Fluttershy shy away even more than usual, attempting to disappear behind a bookshelf. Rarity greeted them nervously, while Rainbow Dash and Pinkie eagerly approached them, welcoming them to the library.

“Greetings,” I offered. “I’m Cloud Strife, leader of the Elements of Harmony. Have you met the others already?”

“We have, briefly,” the lead pony, a deep blue furred mare, said. “I’m Sergeant Stormcloud, leader of this squad. Good to meet you, finally, Miss Strife. My second here is Corporal Moonshadow. I’ll let him make the rest of the introductions.”

“Right,” a black furred stallion began. “From left to right, we have Privates Bulwark, Chill Breeze, Echo, and Eclipse.”

I took the time to study each and shake their hooves. While both of the leaders were armed with retractable blades on their forehooves, the others had a variety of armaments.

Bulwark, a deep brown stallion with a wooden shield as his cutie mark had a matching pair of such shields strapped to his forelegs. I saw that they had retractable metal extensions that looked to have bladed edges, granting more offense and defense, at the expense of being more awkward to walk. He merely gave a quiet grunt as we shook, though he had a distinct force to his shake.

Chill Breeze was the lightest colored of them all, a lighter blue punctuated by a trio of snowflakes on each flank. She had a lighter touch, as well, barely touching my hand before she pulled back. Her armor covered less than the others, and was studded with sheathed knives, the quantity suggesting at least some were intended to be thrown.

Echo didn’t bother to approach, instead settling for a wave from against the far wall. The mare had a mottled coat, blacks and browns in a sort of natural camouflage pattern that was also dyed into her armor. I almost didn’t make out her cutie mark, a brown leaf. She bore a rifle similar to Fluttershy’s, though I was experienced enough to notice the rounds were in pouches too small for the long tipped darts our sniper used. I was fairly certain she fired for lethal effect preferentially.

Eclipse was a dark purple, like a deeper version of Twilight’s coat, and featured a black circle ringed by ragged light as his cutie mark. The stallion greeted me more cheerfully than the others, grinning as he eyed my sword, and I caught myself doing the same. The blade he bore on his back reminded me of my old Buster Sword, the one I had gotten from Zach. It definitely had both the heft and width to invite such comparisons, even if it was easy enough to tell them apart. “You and I should spar sometime,” he suggested.

“Sounds good to me. We’ll see if you can keep up,” I answered.

“Alright, Romaro,” Stormcloud cut in. “There’ll be time enough for that sort of thing later. First, I’d like to sync up on the state of the town.” She was all business from there, and quickly got all of us caught up in debriefing and planning.

Ponyville was not a defensible town by any stretch of the imagination. Canterlot could serve as a fortress, and had recently, but Ponyville had no outer walls of any kind. Rather, it was ringed by trees that let any form of enemy easily close to within a short sprint of the nearest buildings while protected from view.

Against an organized enemy, we would have already lost the town. But these were simply random monsters acting individually. As such they regularly got into position to threaten ponies, but were easily taken down by one or two skilled fighters. Rainbow had earned more than her share of kills during the day, while the thestrals had split up to cover the area at night.

“Twilight, if the project we discussed earlier takes a while to come into effect,” I asked. “Do you think we can get a palisade built around the town? I think most of the monsters could be deterred by a simple wooden wall, and we could leave guarded openings at intervals to allow ponies to come and go.”

Twilight considered it briefly. “That’d certainly be a question for the mayor,” she said. “Or perhaps even a public vote. Do you think it’s necessary?”

I shrugged. “If things get much worse, it may be needed, and harder to add after that point. If things stay as they are or get a bit better…” I looked at Rainbow Dash, noting how worn out she was. “We could still have some trouble keeping everypony safe. But there are other approaches we could use. Like training up more pegasi guards to distribute the load.”

“No way,” Rainbow said. “I got this. Besides, we can’t afford to take ‘em off of weather duty.”

I let it go for now. “A wall might not stop everything, anyways. Flying monsters, or things that climb well could simply go over, for example. No matter what, we need a plan for interior defense, and going as we have been isn’t enough. Think about it. Let’s meet like this again next week, and we can consider any options anypony brings up then. For now… I need to get home to my daughter.”

“You have a daughter?” Eclipse asked, looking a bit put off.

“I do. And a coltfriend,” I said. “That doesn’t have anything to do with sparring, does it?”

“N-no,” he answered, and Applejack’s sharp look confirmed my own suspicions. “We should still cross blades sometime.”

Chapter 45: Lesson Zero

“Quill,” Twilight requested.

“Hoo,” Owlowiscious said as he placed a quill upon her writing desk.

“Parchment.”

“Hoo.”

“Extra ink.”

“Hoo.”

“Extra extra ink.”

“Hoo.”

“Is that everything on the checklist?”

“Hoo?”

Twilight sighed as she levitated her checklist of things she needed to make a checklist, and verified that she had gotten everything. “Now to make my checklist of things I need to do today.”

Something felt a bit off about the whole scene, but it still had a therapeutic orderliness to the whole thing. And it was in some sense useful. She rarely forgot to do something, at least not for very long, as she always had a written record of it, complete with tick marks to let her know if she had done it or not. Along with her copious written notes, she was unusually well prepared for being struck with total amnesia and needing to relearn everything about herself.

Spike was gone, she realized. It wasn’t news at this point, but it still caught her off guard when the realization reached her consciousness from time to time. She closed her eyes, grieving his absence for a moment before moving on. He wasn’t dead, or even entirely out of her life, which made it much easier, but she still missed him being everpresent.

Despite the owl’s helpfulness in retrieving things, Twilight was still left to write her own checklists using her magic, something that tended to leave a bit of a cramp in her horn by the end of the day. Nevertheless, it was worth it to be organized, and before long she had her tasks for the day all mapped out.

“Hi Twilight!” Pinkie Pie greeted as the door to Sugarcube Corner opened. The earth pony hadn’t even turned from the oven where she was pulling out a freshly baked tray of cupcakes.

“How did you know it was me?” Twilight asked as she approached the counter.

“Because it’s 7:48, silly,” Pinkie Pie pointed out while she carefully began transferring the cupcakes from the baking tray to the box. She then glanced over at the clock, noticing it was 7:44. “Oh, woops. You’re a bit early.”

“I was able to get a great start on the day,” Twilight said. “I’m almost done with my checklist.”

Pinkie took the list and checked it over, noting that after acquiring cupcakes, all that remained was to check the checklist, double check the checklist, and triple check the checklist.

“I feel like something’s missing,” Pinkie said.

“What could I be missing?” Twilight asked, snatching the list back and reviewing it.

“It’s Tuesday… isn’t there something you usually do on Tuesdays?” Pinkie asked. Tapping her chin she muttered, “It isn’t writing Friendship Reports, so what is it now?”

“It’s Tuesday?!” Twilight exclaimed. “I present my latest research and development progress to Cloud on Tuesdays! But I haven’t researched or developed anything since we buried the Elements. How am I supposed to come up with something ready to present by sundown?”

“Calm down, I’m sure she’ll be willing to give you a pass if you apologize,” Pinkie offered.

“A pass? This is Cloud Strife we’re talking about! She’s not a pony. She’s not exactly the friendliest person in Equestria, even if you excluded all the ponies. She doesn’t forgive her problems, she cuts them in half with a sword! How can I take that chance?!” the librarian said in a mounting panic.

“Cloud doesn’t cut ponies in half, silly. Well I suppose she might if Trixie hired her to be her assistant in her act, but magic shows don’t count,” Pinkie said.

“Still… even if you’re right, I have my own pride to think about. I’ve got to at least try!” Twilight said.

“Well, I suppose you could cast Want It, Need It on a doll and see what happens,” Pinkie Pie suggested.

Twilight stared in surprise at the party pony as she slid the box of cupcakes over. “How do you know about that spell?”

Pinkie froze a moment, then smoothly slid along the counter, slipping her face into her hoof. “Look, Twilight, that’s not important. What is important is the tactical applications of a Want It, Need It distraction grenade as a way to get monsters or other enemies fixated on a useless prop while we freely dispatch them,” she said. “Besides, you were going to do something like that by the end of the episode anyways.”

“Episode? Pinkie, my life is not a radio serial,” Twilight objected.

“More of a fanfiction, really,” Pinkie declared.

“Like Fifty Shades of Hay?” Twilight inquired.

“Sure, let’s go with that,” Pinkie accepted.

“That would explain a lot,” Twilight said, blushing lightly while shaking her head. She checked her checklist to see where she had left off, traded some bits for the box of cupcakes and began the process of triple checking. “Thanks, Pinkie. I’ll see you at the picnic!”

Twilight stopped by the library. She still had a good hour before the picnic, and Pinkie’s words had stuck with her. The strange implications of the fact that the pink mare happened to know about an obscure spell in Twilight’s library had faded from her mind, while the ideas of how it might actually have potential were swirling in her thoughts instead.

With a simple command, Owlowiscious flew to bring her the book she desired, and in minutes she had committed the details of the spell to memory. This brought the question of what to cast it on to mind. And on that point she was caught up in analysis paralysis until the clock alerted her to the fact she was about to be late to the picnic.

One quick teleport later and she was atop the hill where the Elements of Harmony and Elements of Greatness were gathering and setting out supplies for our joint picnic.

“Hi Twilight! Where’s the cupcakes?” Pinkie asked, among the other greetings. The unicorn’s cheeks colored in embarrassment, before a quick pair of teleportations left her breathless, with a box of donuts upon her back. “Oh, there they are!” Pinkie said before moving on.

While the rest of us were setting up our own contributions, Twilight opened the box to survey the contents. “Oh! Good thing I got a baker’s dozen. That means I can have one myself,” she noted. She then paused, looking at one of the cupcakes that had accidentally gotten a good amount of frosting transferred over from its neighbor, leaving it distinctly better than the others. A manic grin began to form behind the opened box lid as her problem seemed to solve itself. Her horn glowed for a few seconds before closing the box and placing it in the middle of one of the spread blankets. “Help yourselves to cupcakes,” she invited. “There’s a baker’s dozen, so there’s one for each of us.”

“I suppose I should be the one to do without then,” Nanaki offered, causing Twilight to jump.

“Oh! I didn’t realize you would be here too, Nanaki,” Twilight said. “It’s my fault, so I should be the one to do without.”

“No, it’s my fault,” Pinkie said, “I invited him but I didn’t put an extra extra cupcake in your order. Buuuut. If you’re both not having one, I’ll have two!”

“I don’t really need a cupcake,” I offered.

“Especially since you have your beefcake?” Pinkie suggested before I could continue.

“So maybe the foals can each have two?” I suggested.

“Now hold on,” Applejack intervened. “There’s five fillies, plus Spike, so we’d just about all have’ta do without fer all the foals to have two. And I was lookin’ forward ta havin’ one as part of my meal.”

“Yeah Cloud, you can’t just give away our cupcakes,” Rainbow Dash said. “In fact, I’d better have mine now, just to be sure.” The pegasus quickly opened the box and just as quickly took out the cupcake with extra frosting. However, rather than instantly devour it, she held it before her in both forehooves, staring mesmerized.

Not that I could blame her. It was the best cupcake I had ever seen. Truly, it was the perfect pinnacle of cupcake kind. The perfectly shapely frosting rising up the center, augmented by a practically naughty dab of foreign frosting, lying atop it like the evidence of a forbidden tryst. The clockwork regularity of the little ridges all around the base of it. Even the wrapper, soon to be torn off of it, was like the perfect lingerie, hiding just enough to focus the mind on what delectable secrets lie beneath. I felt a slight trickle of blood drip from my nose just from thinking about this, the king of all cupcakes.

My reverie was broken first by the realization that Rainbow Dash was rapidly ascending to protect her cupcake from would-be snatchers, and then a moment later by the fact that the cupcake had become imperilled, falling free from the limp hoof of the sedated flyer.

Fluttershy saved the incredible treat from an untimely smooshing with one hoof, even as her other was still returning her dart rifle to her back. And yet, it was imperiled once again as a lasso wrapped around her barrel and yanked her to the ground.

Spike caught it this time, doubling in size as he reached out his clawed hand to arrest its motion. But now I was finally close to the action. I brought the blunt of my blade down sharply across his wrist, freeing the amazing treat for a second until I snatched it in my own reverent hand.

My grip on the wrapper remained as Rarity’s magic lifted it from my grasp, denuding the baked good and making me want it all the more urgently. My mouth watered as I watched the freshly exposed confection float away from me.

A spray of blue from Scootaloo’s squirt gun caused Rarity’s hair to suddenly puff out to unreasonable proportions, blocking her vision and causing her telekinetic grip to falter. Sweetie Belle caught the cupcake in one hoof, but soon Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon each had a hoof on it as well, and they held it aloft like a tripod as they stumbled back and forth, trying to gain control of the situation.

Finally, the situation was resolved by Pinkie Pie as she bounced over the trio, reaching down and taking the cupcake into her mouth in the maneuver. Before everypony could descend on her, she swallowed it whole, before licking her lips. “Yummy! That cupcake was magically delicious!”

I blinked, looking around in confusion and seeing the state of our party. “What… what just happened.”

“I took detailed notes,” Twilight said. “I’m sorry for not telling everypony up front, but that was the first field test of the new weapon system Pinkie Pie requested. What do you think?”

“Weapon… you weaponized cupcakes?!” I inquired.

“Just the one,” she said timidly. “I couldn’t think what to put the enchantment on, but then I saw that one cupcake had more than the others and, well…”

“Nanaki, can you see if Esuna does any good for Rainbow Dash and Rarity?” I requested, before returning my attention to Twilight. “That could have gone very badly. I barely had the self control to keep from cutting Spike’s hand off right there, and who knows what effects the poison joke might have had.”

“Ugh, what hit me?” Rainbow inquired as the surge of magic faded from her, looking around. “And who ate my cupcake?!”

“Have another one,” I ordered.

“Where’s the box?” she asked. Looking around, I caught sight of a bit of the cardboard stuck in Spike’s teeth about the same time Rainbow did. “So much for that idea.”

“It’s no good,” Nanaki said when his magic failed to help Rarity.

“I think I’m going to cry,” Rarity said. “I guess it’s a small blessing that I can’t see how bad I look, but I can just feel it.”

“Applejack, get Rarity to the spa immediately, they have Zecora’s treatment on hoof,” I commanded. “Rainbow Dash, go get some more cupcakes for everypony. Spike; no more cupcakes for you. You’ve gotten too greedy about them.”

“Sorry,” Spike said, hanging his head until Sweetie Belle put a comforting hoof on his calf.

“I’m sorry, too,” Twilight said. “I didn’t mean to ruin our picnic and endanger everypony.”

“It’s alright,” I said. “That was a good way to demonstrate the effectiveness and ultimately no one was badly hurt. I do want you to start working on countermeasures, though. How do we keep ourselves from being controlled by such mind manipulation magics in the future? Also, what else can you put the spell on? The cupcake was good, but maybe we can find an alternate form factor that’s easy to use in combat situations.”

“Like a rubber chicken?” Pinkie Pie asked.

“No,” I began.

“How about a bouncy ball? Or a beanbag?” Pinkie asked.

I hesitated, thinking. “Yes, those are both good, actually. Easy to throw into a distant enemy group. The bouncy ball will get a lot of distance erratically and can drag several groups into a tussle while the bean bag will fairly predictably lie where it’s thrown for a more controlled deployment. An enchanted dart might work well, too, for Fluttershy to deploy at long range.”

“So I did good?” Twilight asked, happily clopping her hooves.

“Yes, Twilight, you did good.” I reached over to pet her mane, but she turned on me, rearing up to give me a good hug. That would have been fine, if it had gone quite as I had expected. However, as we embraced, she suddenly started glowing, turning into a purple light, and then was absorbed into my body. I felt a weird pressure on my forehead, and a different sort of pressure on each of my hips, almost painful at first before settling into a steady level.

I stood, shocked, as everypony stared at me. “What… happened?” I asked.

“I was hoping you could tell us,” Nanaki said. “Is… Twilight in there?”

“In where?” I asked.

“This is quite fascinating,” Twilight told me. Her voice seemed to come from nowhere in particular, and a quick turn to each side failed to reveal her.

“Twilight?” I asked.

“I’m here. Wherever here is,” Twilight said. “That’s kind of disorienting… I’m guessing I’m seeing through your eyes? But I don’t have the somatic sense to go with it, so when you move your head it’s a bit disconcerting. Hold up your hand to verify, please.”

I did so, noting the faintly purple hue to my skin now. “She’s… in my head somehow,” I told the others, even as I was still freaking out. I freaked out a little more as I touched my forehead, feeling the spiralled horn growing out of it.

“And on your hips,” Nanaki commented. “Her cutie mark’s appeared on your clothing there, and I suspect the skin beneath, though I understand if you don’t want me to check here and now.”

I checked myself, twisting and pulling my jeans away just enough to catch a glimpse of one point of the white star. “Okay, so… this isn’t quite the same as the materia thing. It doesn’t seem to require ‘defeating’ the pony in question, so I have to be careful about hugging anypony… especially my closest friends, it seems. I’d have Twilight help me research a cure for this but-”

“Why can’t I?” she asked. “In fact I’m rather committed to doing so, I’d say. Everything else is by necessity on hold until we figure this out.”

“That’s a good point, Twilight,” I said. “Alright. I’m going to the library. Nanaki, will you join me? I’m pretty confident you’re safe from my hugs, though we’ll hold off on them for now anyways. And I know you’re smart. Another set of eyes helping me look will be a great boon.”

“Can I help?” Spike asked.

“Only if you get back down to my size,” I said. “Spike, I love you but you really can’t let greed overcome you like that. I know, I know it’s my fault this time, but still. You’re just too big.”

“Your fault?” Spike questioned. “I mean, my wrist is just fine, and it’s not like you-”

“Sorry, I think Twilight’s thoughts must be bleeding into my own,” I said. “That’s kind of unsettling. Come on, Nanaki. Spike, if you get back down to size come along. We could use a good assistant.”

Rainbow arrived shortly after we left, with a fresh box of cupcakes. “What’d I miss?”

Having Twilight in my mind was an interesting experience. It wasn’t just her voice talking to me like I’d already experienced with the summons. That would have been one thing, but instead it was like my mind was working more like Twilight’s. The books all made sense to me in a way they hadn’t before. It wasn’t that I had been illiterate, but her mind just was made for text. It was most dramatic with books on magic, of course. I had a horn now, for one thing, and if I didn’t think about it too hard I could use it to float books over to myself quite easily.

Other magic took a harder mental state. Twilight’s mind seemed to live in my subconscious, but casting spells wasn’t something one could do subconsciously. It was an act of will. Eventually, I managed to master the art of getting the actual spell knowledge to reside somewhere in my subconscious mind where I could consciously trigger it, sort of like willing my body to walk or perform a well-practiced sword move; the consciousness directed it, but muscle memory, or in this case spell memory, filled in the details to make it happen.

We spent three days in the library, Spike, Nanaki and I, before I had the basic spell mastery that we could even try a spell if we’d found one that was promising. We still hadn’t found anything directly relevant, and were starting to think we’d need to travel to Canterlot to look in a larger library. I had, however, noted a spell in one of the books that might help with another problem of mine.

I decided to bring it up in the relative safety of the shower, that night, while the closed door and water noises kept out prying ears. As much as our subconscious bled into one another, Twilight could only hear my conscious thoughts when I spoke aloud. Or in my dreams, but those were more susceptible to eavesdropping, especially from John de Lancie.

“Twilight, I have a rather awkward problem,” I began.

“More awkward than accidentally being sucked into somebody and having to live vicariously through their senses?” she asked.

“It’s cumulative with that,” I said. “Wait, can you perceive all of my senses? Because that makes it even more awkward.”

“Smell seems very muted, and as I said I don’t have a somatic sense telling me where things should be in relation to one another, but yes. I can feel the water showering down on my pelt right now, only it feels a lot different, I guess because it’s striking your skin directly?” she said. “What, umm… oh gosh, this about you and Nanaki, isn’t it? I’m getting in the way of sexy times?”

I blushed and nodded before realizing that was pretty pointless. “It’s worse than that. Twilight, do you know what a hymen is?”

“Of course I do, ponies have them too,” Twilight began, though she sounded distinctly uncomfortable. “Why?”

“My Mako is making mine unbreakable,” I said. I paused long enough for her to process the implications. I could subtly feel the shifts in her mental state as she did. “I need you, or somepony, to magically help me with that problem. I saw a spell back there that might be able to do it, but… it’d need to be channelled… during the act. So… either now, while you’re with me like this, or after you’re out on your own, but, well, in the room.”

“Does it have to be me?” she squeaked.

“No,” I admitted. “It could be another unicorn, or alicorn, skilled enough to cast the spell. I’m not sure if Rarity can, she doesn’t seem to use her horn for much other than telekinesis. I guess Luna would be my next choice.”

“You can’t ask a princess to help deflower you!” Twilight exclaimed.

“It does seem a bit much to ask, but she is something of a personal friend,” I said. “I would think it more appropriate to ask the Princess of Love, but Princess Cadenza doesn’t seem to like me much.”

“Who? I didn’t realize there was a third princess,” Twilight said. “Anyways, I’ll… I’ll do it.”

“But you want to wait until we’re separated,” I offered.

“No,” she squeaked, almost as inaudibly as Fluttershy.

I quietly washed myself for a bit, before turning off the water and starting to towel dry. “Thanks, Twilight. I owe you one.”

Chapter 46: Twilight Eclipsed

As we lay in bed, staring at the simultaneously familiar and unfamiliar ceiling, feeling the simultaneously unfamiliar and familiar arm around our shoulders and bare skin against our bare skin, a growing panic began to swell.

“What’s wrong, Twilight?” I asked quietly.

“I don’t know if I’m a virgin or not anymore!” she exclaimed.

I couldn’t help but giggle. “It’s not funny! It’s a core aspect of my identity and personality, and now I don’t know if it’s changed or not! I’ve still never actually experienced sex for myself in my own body, but I’ve felt… things I could hardly put to words if I tried. So much of my perspective is changed and yet… I know it will be completely different when I try it for myself. The somatic sense alone will make it a radically different experience. So in some ways I’m just as naive as I was.”

“I know it seems like it should be a simple ‘yes or no’, but sometimes it isn’t,” I said. “Life is complicated sometimes, and categories don’t always do things justice.”

“But without categories, there’s chaos!” Twilight objected.

“Categories are tools… like swords. You use them when they’re appropriate, not when they’re not,” I said.

“A sword is your idea of a tool?” Twilight deadpanned.

“It counts. And the analogy works with another tool if you like. Quills,” I suggested.

“What are you talking about?” Nanaki inquired.

“Whether Twilight’s still a virgin,” I answered.

Nanaki pondered that for a bit. “Yes,” he finally answered.

“Well, there’s your answer,” I said.

“But what about-?” Twilight began.

“You heard the man,” I said with an amused grin.

“It’s essentially the same as someone who’s only seen… what do you hu- err, city folk call it?” Nanaki said. “The videos of people having sex.”

“Pornography,” I answered. What had he been saying before he corrected himself? I didn’t dwell on it too long. “It’s a bit more intimate, but I see your point. Someone watching someone else have sex, even if they touch themselves as they watch, is still a virgin. Even if it does open their mind to some things they hadn’t understood before.”

“Okay, I can accept that,” Twilight said, settling down now that her category was clearly defined.

“So… is this a one time thing?” Nanaki asked, “or will you be bringing other ponies to bed in you?”

“I only needed Twilight to suppress the Mako energy this one time,” I said.

“Obviously,” Nanaki agreed. “But I expect you’ll make a habit of this… fusion thing.”

“Junctioning,” I said.

“Junctioning?” he asked.

“I don’t know where the word came from,” I admitted, “it just feels right. Junctioning a… something Force. Harmonic Force? Yeah, junctioning a Harmonic Force.”

“Okay, well… once you figure out how to un-junction, I’m sure you’ll train yourself to use it effectively so that you can better overcome the monsters and other threats that endanger your friends and neighbors. It’s who you are. And it’s what I would do, if I had the power instead of you,” Nanaki said.

“Right… and once I can un-junction, there’ll never be a need to bring another pony to bed in me, as you say,” I pointed out.

“Right, no need,” he said. “So you wouldn’t give Rainbow Dash the chance then? Or any of the others. That’s your right, I’m merely inquiring.”

I couldn’t help but think that Rainbow would jump at the chance. But then she didn’t need something like this to join us in bed. Did I? Yes. And it was barely enough. I’d forgone sex for days because of it, and had assumed I would do without from now until I got Twilight free.

“Twilight, would you want to be part of this again?” I asked.

“I… don’t think I can bring myself to say no,” Twilight said. “Does that make me a terrible friend?”

“What about if you were un-junctioned, just your usual unicorn self?” I asked.

She froze up, answering with a series of disjointed vowels. “I’m just inquiring,” I clarified.

“No,” she said. “At least that’s my answer right now. It’s too much to think about right now. I like Nanaki, but he isn’t my special somepony, and neither are you.”

“Twilight says she won’t be joining the herd,” I told Nanaki. “But at least we can still enjoy each other like this until she’s freed. As for Rainbow, or anypony else down the line… I don’t know yet.”

Nanaki gave me a kiss right at the base of the horn. “Alright. No rush.”

“You’re going again?” Diamond Tiara asked me, as I packed my bags once more.

“I’m sorry. The Golden Oak Library doesn’t have the materials I need to research a cure for, well… this,” I said with a gesture at my horn. “If it hadn’t been Twilight, I’d send Twilight along without me. But since I’m the one she’s stuck inside, I’ve got to go.” I thought a moment before an idea occurred to me. “Would you like to come with us?”

“Of course I would,” Diamond said, literally jumping at the suggestion. “I haven’t been to Canterlot in almost a year. I have friends there, and oh, can Silver Spoon come too?”

“If her parents don’t mind. If they come as well, it might be better. I doubt you want to spend that much time in the library with us, so if there’s somepony else who can watch over you during the day…”

“We can take care of ourselves,” she assured. “What about the rest of my friends?”

“You can ask. I’m sure Sweetie will want to come with Spike, if she’s allowed to,” I said. “I don’t know about Scootaloo and Apple Bloom. You know them better than I do.”

“They wouldn’t want to be left out,” Diamond said. “But Apple Bloom’s family might not be so keen on her coming. I’ll ask, though. When are we leaving?”

“I’d meant to catch the noon train, but you’ll need some time. Last train leaves an hour before sundown, will that be enough time for you to ask your friends and see who can make it? If they can’t travel with us on such short notice, they can always meet us there in the next day or so,” I offered.

“It’ll have to be,” she said. “Here, let me sneak a few things into your luggage for me.” Working together, we quickly got the few toiletries and other miscellany she would need in with my things before heading back into town.

“You know, I really hate to do this to you, boss,” Pinkie said, “but I’m going to have to cut you off from hugs unless you Pinkie Promise you won’t absorb me like you did Twilight.”

“That’s fair,” I said. “How do you… Pinkie Promise?” She didn’t have any pinkies, so it couldn’t be the same as we did back on Gaia.

“That’s easy. First, you state what you’re agreeing to, then you recite the oath: cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye,” as she did, she made a series of gestures with her hoof, culminating in poking herself in the eye painfully. “Just remember… a Pinkie Promise is an unbreakable oath!”

“I can’t make that promise, yet,” I said. “I don’t know how I did it in the first place, much less how to avoid it.”

“Then no hugs for you!” she said.

“Alright. No hugs until I figure it out,” I agreed. “Hey, where’s Mrs. Cake?”

“She’s resting inside,” Pinkie said. “She’s having one of her rougher days today.She’s having a foal soon, you know?”

I shook my head. “Congratulate her for me, then,” I said. “But while I’m here, can I get some baked goods to go? I’m taking Diamond Tiara, Nanaki and Spike to Canterlot to do some research. Hmm… I’ll take a baker’s dozen of those cupcakes, like we had yesterday.”

“I don’t have enough ready, can you come back and pick them up in an hour?” she asked.

I spent much of the afternoon patrolling Ponyville, and making sure Rainbow Dash got a proper nap. I hadn’t realized how much more invasive the monsters of Everfree had gotten. Without the Tree holding them back, the weaker monsters came and went freely, up until the point that somepony who could fight intervened.

On the plus side, those of us who did fight were getting a lot of practice in. Fighting with Twilight merged with me was an eye opening experience for both of us. The librarian was completely unaccustomed to the front lines, but the magic we were able to wield together… Telekinesis alone was brutally effective with a warrior’s mind guiding it. Rarity had long proved that, but she lacked the raw power Twilight and I could bring to bear. Add in spells, even the basics Twilight had completely memorized, like teleportation and basic barrier spells, and we were as flexible as we were deadly.

The sound of the train’s whistle approaching brought my attention back to my plans. A couple of quick teleports about town and I had gathered my belongings and was waiting at the train station.

“Going somewhere?” Private Eclipse questioned, as he descended to land nearby. He sounded like he was about to say something else when I turned to him and he noticed the changes. “Whoa! When’d you get a horn?”

“Miss Sparkle and I had a magical mishap,” I said. “We’re going to Canterlot to research how to undo it.”

“Why? I mean, it looks good on you,” he said, checking me out.

My mind raced a moment, between wanting to tell him off, twitch my non-existent tail, make a terrible pun about him needing a library card, and a bit of indecision as to whether I was still afraid of actually being with a stallion. It seemed this kind of emotional situation could really make the bleeding over between our minds troublesome.

I shook my head to clear it. “There are certainly some benefits to it, but it’s really not acceptable to stay this way. If we can really master it, though… being able to merge temporarily to take on harder fights, then separate again to live out our lives… I’m sure you could see the implications.”

The thestral nodded. “Of course. Hey, you can merge with me anytime, Cloud.~”

I couldn’t help but giggle. “That was an awful pickup line.”

He blinked a few times, then blushed a bit. “Sorry. I can’t help myself sometimes. I admit, I have a taste for the exotic…”

“Maybe if we’d met a year ago, or right after the winter,” I said. “As it is… if you were serious about your offer to spar, then when I get back, we’ll give it a go. I’d like to see how well you handle that sword of yours.”

“You know, with the right inflection, that could have been an awful pickup line from you,~” he teased.

“Oh, look, there’s my boyfriend now,” I said, waving at Nanaki as he approached. Spike, Diamond Tiara, Sweetie Belle, and Rarity were with him.

“The tall one without the scales?” he verified. “Well, if you two ever want a third…”

“Not interested,” I said bluntly. It was a bit of an exaggeration, but there were quite a few ponies who were a lot higher on the list than he was. If we ever started down that route it wouldn’t start with him.

“Who’s the pony?” Nanaki asked when he approached.

“One of those thestrals that are covering the night shift,” Rarity said. “I’m sorry, darling, I’ve forgotten your name”

“Solar Eclipse,” he introduced. “Good to see you again, Rarity. And you must be Nanaki. I’m sorry, I don’t know the rest of your names yet.”

“The one with a tiara is my adopted daughter, Diamond Tiara,” I said. “And those are Spike and Sweetie Belle. Take good care of Ponyville while we’re gone, Private Eclipse. I’m not sure how long we’ll be out, but I expect the town to be in good shape when we return.”

“Well, if anything goes down at night, we’ll take care of it,” he promised. He hesitated a moment before getting the hint, saluting and taking flight. Not that there was much more time to talk, anyways. The train was pulling up.

“So, no excuses now, darlings. How was the Gala?” Rarity inquired as the engine started. She had glanced to be sure her sister and friends had wandered off first, which seemed silly to me. It was a bit late to be concerned with their innocence, but I could appreciate the impulse.

I smiled and squeezed Nanaki’s hand a moment. “It went quite well, on the whole, despite a few unpleasant moments along the way.”

“I imagine. That scar on your nose itself must be an interesting story,” Rarity prodded.

I shook my head. “Afraid it’s a simple mystery. It appeared on my face without any apparent cause. We don’t really have anything to go on to investigate it further. So until something comes up, we’re just left to wonder ourselves.”

“Strange. Scars don’t just appear like that,” Rarity said. “It looks like you nearly lost your nose. And you really know nothing about it?”

“It could be related to your newfound ability to absorb ponies,” Nanaki speculated.

“Why would you think that?” I asked.

He shrugged. “Timing, nothing more,” he admitted. “But they are both quite mysterious. I feel it would be stranger for them to be coincidentally timed than linked.”

I rubbed at my nose, feeling the edges of the scar. “You might be right, but that doesn’t give me much more to go on. I’ll keep it in mind as we look for a cure though.”

“I do hope you’re able to separate yourselves soon,” Rarity said. “But if you aren’t, you must allow me to redo your wardrobe. It’s critical to choose fabric colors that complement your natural coloration, and yours has changed quite dramatically since I designed your current clothes.”

I struggled to keep myself from rolling my eyes. Fashion was very important to my friend, so it was important I take it seriously with her. “That’s a good point. If we’re able to master this, perhaps we should have you make outfits to go with it for each pairing… Which brings up the question, would you care to give it a try?”

“Try what?... Oh, becoming one with you? That sounds a bit intimate,” she said, blushing a bit.

“It is, in its own way. And I’d only try it after we’ve found a way to safely keep it temporary. And as I’m sure you can understand, Rainbow Dash has first dibs, after Twilight is free. But I’m just wondering if you’re interested at all.”

“I’ll have to think about it, darling,” Rarity said, though she was clearly eyeing Nanaki as she did so. I hadn’t mentioned anything about intimate time while merged, but her mind had obviously gone there on its own. “You still haven’t told me much about the Gala, though.”

“Ah… we had fun dancing… I was surprised how quickly I picked it up, honestly. Perhaps one more mystery for the pile? Especially considering how differently humans dance from ponies,” I said.

“Given your shapes, I would hope so,” Rarity agreed.

“Oh, and we met a princess I hadn’t heard of. Princess something Amore, the Princess of Love,” I said. “Though she seemed like the least loving pony I’d met.”

“Our going theory is she’s highly frustrated, waiting for her wedding date,” Nanaki offered.

Rarity giggled at the idea. “I suppose that’s one possibility. I wish I could have made it, but then… I’m not sure how well it would have went with Blueblood being there.”

“He made some excuses when we spoke to him, though I’m not certain I believe him,” I said. “He said the nurse sounded like you, and bid him keep his eyes closed while she, you know. Serviced him.”

“Do you think I should give him another chance?” Rarity inquired.

I thought about it quietly, while Nanaki took the chance to speak. “There’s more there than we know. If he lied… he cares enough at least to lie in hopes of regaining your affection. That’s more than nothing, but a poor basis for a relationship. If he tells the truth… someone thought it worth deceiving him for a bit of fellatio. I can’t imagine they couldn’t have found a willing stallion elsewhere, so why him, why then? It’s easier to believe she intended for you to catch them than that it was true lust.”

“So you think somepony intended to break us up?” Rarity asked.

“Either that, or your coltfriend is simply a lying cheater,” Nanaki said. “Unfortunately, since he’s a prince, I’d have to say either possibility is quite realistic. We had hoped to talk to the nurse, but didn’t have a chance before we returned home. Cloud, do you mind if I pursue that lead while you two do your research?”

“We’ll miss your help in it, but if Spike is with us we’ll get by,” I said. “I do want to know what you’re able to turn up.”

“Please do, Nanaki,” Rarity requested. “I need to know whether I owe my prince an apology or a fresh black eye.”

“I know this is more urgent,” I began channelling Twilight without thinking much of it. “But I’m kind of sad that I’m going to miss it.”

“Miss what?” Nanaki asked, confused.

“Nightmare Night, darling. And we won’t miss it, we’ll just celebrate it in Canterlot instead. Don’t tell me you don’t have costumes ready?” Rarity inquired.

I shook my head. “I didn’t know anything about it, and Twilight’s costume won’t fit us like this. We didn’t think to pack it, even if we did get separated in time.”

“Well, you two could always just go as-” Rarity gestured up and down me with a hoof. She had a point, even if it hurt a bit.

“Anyone care to explain?” Nanaki asked.

“Every year, the ponies have a holiday where they dress up as monsters or other figures of interest, try to scare one another for fun, and distribute candy and other treats. I, I mean Twilight, was going to go as Starswirl the Bearded, one of the greatest wizards in Equestrian history,” I explained.

“The one who filled the wing of the library we’re headed for?” Nanaki confirmed.

I nodded. “It was effectively cancelled last year in Ponyville by Nightmare Moon’s return, and subsequent restoration to her former identity as Princess Luna. So we never got to experience it in Ponyville.”

“Perhaps next year. You haven’t experienced it in Canterlot either, have you?” Nanaki asked rhetorically.

“Twilight has. She grew up here,” I pointed out. “And as nice as it would be to see some of her old friends and family members, it’d be awkward doing so like this. Still, we can certainly enjoy some of the more public aspects. It’s a big town, we won’t run into anyone like that if we don’t seek them out.”

Chapter 47: Luna Eclipsed

The sun was already setting as Cheerilee dismissed her class. It wasn’t that she had run late, but rather that this was a special day of the year. A day that was about the night. It was the shortest day of the year, breaking up the pattern of smooth progression toward longer nights as winter gave way to spring on its way to summer.

In a time only two ponies still remembered, it had been a bit of a celebration. It was always a full moon, and often marked with meteor showers or more conventional fireworks. Often the brightest stars were arranged in the outline of an alicorn, with the moon squarely in the flank. Many ponies had guessed it to be Luna’s birthday, but the sisters who knew the truth never shared. While Pinkie had ruled that out recently with the Sense materia, she hadn’t yet learned the truth. It was the anniversary of Luna’s cute-ceañera.

For the thousand years of Luna’s imprisonment, Celestia had held the date in her timetables, continuing to lengthen the night and keep the moon full every year. On those nights she had shut herself into her sister’s bedroom, giving the staff a push to clean it out properly before she sulked in it, watching the moon with renewed regrets as she waited for the day of her sister’s return. When exhaustion overtook her, Nightmare Moon would assail her dreams, then more than any other night, weakening her faith in the happy ending to come, but never shattering it completely.

Meanwhile, the ponies had come up with their own ways to twist the traditions. The traditional candies offered to the Princess as a gift should she arrive, or enjoyed in her stead in vicarious celebration, instead became a way to ward her off from devouring a pony. The celebration of beauty, excitement, and fairly often loving intimacy instead became a celebration of fear and terror built around the monster she had become, until that perverted further into a playful false fear.

A part of that tradition was dressing up. Some dressed as monsters or villains, others as more harmless things, silly things, or even admirable things. But nopony would go out on Nightmare Night without a costume of some sort. The school children had not been allowed to wear their costumes during class, for fear of distraction, but now that they were allowed to, many drew their costumes from their packs and began to don them immediately, even as others scampered toward their homes.

Apple Bloom put on a tall black and white wig, with a stitched cardboard mockery of her usual bow. Silver Spoon helped draw black lines about her and adorn them with fake stitches like she had been taken apart and reassembled, even while Scootaloo dyed her tail to match the wig. She was to go as Frankenmare’s monster, a walking corpse reanimated through magically harnessed lightning.

Scootaloo’s costume was much easier to don, a wolf-headed mask with gray fur and matching furry vest. She managed it herself, while Silver Spoon was being dyed green by Apple Bloom. The rich pony then needed her friends to tie several green-dyed ropes about her body as ‘vines’, and affix numerous bright blue paper mache flowers all about her body.

“Are you planning to ‘curse’ anypony, miss Poison Joke?” Scootaloo inquired.

Silver Spoon lifted her hoof where the squirt gun full of blue liquid was hidden under one of the fake flowers. “I’ve already paid Aloe and Vera to provide the cure to anypony who needs it by the end of the night.”

They clopped hooves and shared wicked grins, while Apple Bloom gave a less enthusiastic, “Well, alright then.”

“Aaargh!” a high pitched voice growled from the other side of the room. “Who be yon cuties on this fair Nightmare Night?”

The fillies giggled as they turned to see their smallest classmate, the colt named Pipsqueak, standing atop a desk in a pirate costume. “Hi, Pip!” Scootaloo greeted. “Nice costume. Ready to go trick or treating?”

“Avast, yon sweetened treasures await!” he confirmed, hopping down to start heading out the door.

They made it as far as the edge of the schoolyard before Pip paused, speaking normally in a moment of seriousness. “Should we wait for Miss Pie? There’ve been an awful lot of monsters about lately, and it’s already dark.”

“You can if you want to,” Silver Spoon said, holding up the hoof with the partially concealed squirt gun. “But we’re high level monster hunters ourselves, so we’re not worried. You’d be as safe with us as with a member of the other Elements.”

Pip looked skeptical as he considered it, then waved them on. “I’ll just stay here and wait. Pinkie should be by soon. If you’re going on your own, I guess I’ll just see you later.”

They parted amicably enough, and soon the fillies were on the road toward the town center. They quickly got deep into conversation with one another, paying little attention to their surroundings. They were certain if any monster did appear it would emerge with a growl or roar or the like, drawing their attention and giving them a moment to react. As a result, they completely missed it when a six-legged crocilisk approached them and peacefully walked right past.

That is, until it reached Pip and tried to attack. The crunch of the gate’s wood splintering in its jaws got their attention a moment before Pip’s scream for help. “How did we miss that?!” Silver Spoon asked as they broke into a gallop to clear the distance they had just travelled.

“I thought it was just a really good costume,” Scootaloo pointed out, her own wolf-head wobbling from the speed of her run. The pegasus was the first to get into range, and her cayenne spray easily drove the monster off.

“You know… on second thought, I think I will go with you,” Pip said with a laugh.

“You’re not bothering with a costume,” I asked Nanaki as we headed out.

“You’re not,” he pointed out. “And besides, Spike is going as a dragon. So I’ll just go as a human.”

“He’s still clearly in a costume, however redundant,” I pointed out. “And it’s not like this is how I normally look. Either of me. I’m either wearing a Twilight Sparkle costume, or a Cloud Strife costume, depending which of me you ask.”

“Anyways, we’re just going out to get a bite to eat, just like we have every night since we got to town,” Nanaki countered. “It’s not like we’re taking the time to enjoy the festivities.”

“Still… it feels wrong,” I murmured.

“And I for one am partaking of the festivities,” Spike countered. “You two can continue your research without me for the evening. I’m going to get me some candies.”

“That’s fine Spike, just make sure to brush your teeth properly afterwards,” I said, channeling Twilight before the comment reminded me of my own responsibilities. “Diamond, are you and Sweetie Belle going with Spike tonight?”

Diamond shook her head. “I’ll stick with you if that’s okay, Mom. Let those two have fun together. I don’t want to be the third wheel.”

“I’m afraid that’s my job,” Rarity commented, her magic helping her put the finishing touches on her costume. She and her sister had similar vampire costumes, just different enough to compliment one another. “If you’re sure you don’t want to join us, Diamond?”

I’d be tempted to point out Diamond would be a third wheel between Nanaki and I, but Twilight’s presence was already making that a bit awkward. Despite the intimate moments she had already been a part of, our union made any romantic gesture toward me effectively aimed at Twilight as well. And spending time together highlighted the things she and Nanaki had in common that I lacked. It wasn’t jealousy; I knew he wouldn’t leave me for her if we were able to separate, but the longer it happened the more inevitable it felt that she would be included in our family going forward. It was harder for me to object. So having my daughter along to de-romanticize everything was welcome at the moment.

“That’s sorted then,” I said. “So… what do you want for dinner?”

“Why do they keep coming after me?!” Pip asked, after the fourth monster attack. Every single one of them had ignored the fillies until they engaged, but made a beeline for the pirate pony. On the third, he’d taken to fending them off with his toy sword. The fourth he’d even drawn a bit of blood with a strong whack to the snout.

“Maybe they think you’re an easier target? A nice tasty bite-sized treat?” Scootaloo asked.

“That’s not funny!” Pip complained.

“Sorry…” Scootaloo said, rubbing her head. “It is kind of strange though. They do usually at least notice us. Maybe they have something particular against pirates? Who knew?”

“Maybe…” Silver Spoon said, frowning in thought.

“Maybe they just don’t care for poison joke?” Apple Bloom offered.

“That would explain one of us,” Silver Spoon accepted. “What about you two?”

The wolf-costumed pegasus and the walking corpse-costumed earth filly looked each other over and shrugged. The mystery unsolved, they continued on their way, until they were able to find Pinkie Pie and the other foals in their class.

They weren’t the only ones who had faced trouble. Adults as well had been harassed, as was growing far too common, with some ponies being simply ignored by the monsters. The thestrals were up early, flying to the rescue as needed, while the Elements of Harmony stepped in to deal with whatever happened in their vicinity. Those who were present, anyways. Fluttershy was safely locked in her cottage. Much like the Elements of Greatness, giant chicken Pinkie Pie and scarecrow Applejack were ignored by the monsters until they made their attacks. Rainbow Dash was riding about on a thundercloud in a Shadowbolt costume, and didn’t give the monsters a chance to notice or ignore her.

With their protectors stepping in, the ponies settled into a wary peace, keeping alert as they tried to enjoy the festivities. Ponies bobbing for apples would make a quick check around before and after the quick duck of their head. Nopony would try for a pinata without somepony they trusted keeping watch while they were blindfolded. With so many eyes on the watch, a chariot borne by batlike wings approaching through the night sky didn’t go unnoticed. All eyes were on them already when the rider called out loudly.

“Citizens of Ponyville! We have graced your tiny village with our presence, so that you might behold the real Princess of the Night! A creature of nightmares no longer, but instead a pony who desires your love and admiration! Together we shall change this dreadful celebration into a bright and glorious feast!”

Ominous thunder and lightning punctuated the pronouncement, adding an extra sinister layer to it. Pinkie Pie gasped loudly and called out in alarm. “Did you hear that, everypony? Nightmare Moon says she's gonna feast on us all!”

The thestrals guarding the town turned to fly toward her, gathering above the town square as the princess descended. Some who saw them calmed, while others seemed to be even more alarmed.

“What? No, children, no!” Princess Luna objected. “You no longer have reason to fear us! Screams of delight is what your princess desires, not screams of terror!” She stamped her hoof in frustration.

At that, a group of children did approach her. “Greetings Princess, welcome to Ponyville,” Silver Spoon greeted. “Everypony is a bit on edge because of the monster attacks.”

“And also because you’re Nightmare Moon!” Pinkie Pie added from a safe distance.

Scootaloo rolled her eyes at that. “Also, the monsters are being kind of weird tonight. They’ve been ignoring like half of us for some reason. It’d be great, except it makes it a bit too easy.”

Princess Luna was left a bit off-balance, torn between getting down to business protecting her ponies or solving the mystery, and simply basking in the relief of being approached by foals, of all ponies, with no hint of fear. Apple Bloom tipped things over by offering her an apple, its taste so sweet it brought tears freely to her eyes.

“Thank you, children,” Luna said with an overwhelming rush of emotion. It took her a minute to regain her composure, but when she did she was driven to help their problem as they had helped hers. “Can you help me? Gather everypony nearby, and divide them into those whom the monsters harass, and those they ignore. Guards! You will protect those the monsters have been attacking!”

We headed to Applebucks, a restaurant one step up from the hay burger joint with a better selection of meals that fit our dietary needs. We had been there a few times since coming to Canterlot, so it was an easy option to get food for ourselves today.

Or at least, we expected it to be easy. “Twilie?” a familiar voice I had never heard before asked. I stiffened, knowing full well who was asking, and not wanting to acknowledge it, even as I knew the inevitable would be worse if I didn’t.

Nanaki turned to regard the mare who had spoken, and the stallion accompanying her. He looked them over for a moment before questioning. “Are you looking for Twilight Sparkle? You should join us, I’ll let the server know we’ll need a table for five then.”

Pushing through Twilight’s fear, I turned to face the other Twilight. Behind me sat Twilight Velvet, and her husband Night Light. “H-hi mom. Dad,” I let out nervously, almost matching Twilight’s normal voice. She was practically taking control, leaving me to merely nudge her out of her paralysis.

Twilight Velvet looked me in the eyes, then a bit above them at my horn. “Your father thought maybe you had gotten into fashion, or your friend had thought you cutie mark would look good on clothing for other races,” she began. “Why am I not surprised that it’s you turning yourself into something else?”

“Eheheheh,” I let out. “You’re… not still sore about the time I turned you into a cactus and an agave, are you?”

“No! No, no, dear,” Night Light said. “Foals have magic surges, it’s a fact of life. Nothing to keep a grudge over. And if your… special somepony is, well, not a pony, I can see why you might turn to transmutation.” He was eyeing Nanaki critically, unsure how to react to the red-head’s amused smirk.

“Speaking of which, why haven’t you mentioned him in any of your letters home? And don’t try to deny it, we saw your, uh… hands? Clasped together as you walked in here,” Twilight Velvet said.

“It’s not like that! Well, not exactly. It’s… very complicated,” I fumbled, blushing horribly.

“It is, and it can wait until we’re seated,” Nanaki offered, killing the conversation for several minutes of awkward silence.

“I can’t say I get it,” Applejack said, looking around the gathering of ponies even as a vampire jackalope hopped idly past them, starting to stalk the other group until one of the thestrals moved in to drive it away. “None of us have anythin’ in common, aside from bein’ ponies.”

Luna frowned looking at the two groups. Applejack was in a group of ponies costumed as a wide variety of things. Aside from the Elements, there were several other scarecrows, a ladybug and a bee, a lion, and a clown among others. The other group had a wide variety as well: pirate, princess, astronaut, ninja, surgeon, and a few vikings to name a few.

“How can that be it?” Applejack said. “They’re all ponies too,” she pointed at the group the monsters were still after.

“They are, but you aren’t,” Luna pointed out. “You are all dressed as monsters, animals, or other un-pony things,” she said. She gave a small, unconscious, shudder of fear as she looked at Mayor Mare. “The monsters are only going after those dressed like other ordinary ponies.”

“So, what we need here is more monster costumes then?” Mayor Mare inquired.

“Luckily, I have them stashed all around Ponyville in case of costume emergencies!” Pinkie Pie offered, before immediately slamming a crocodile costume onto Berryshine. Physics be damned, the simple motion managed to get the costume into place under her existing explorer shirt and pith helmet, leaving her looking like a crocodile Daring Do. The be-costumed mare trotted over to the ‘safe’ group, clopping hooves with a rather similar looking pony wearing nothing but a sheet with two eyeholes cut into it. “Nice costume,” they told each other in unison before giggling.

With Pinkie on the job, it was only a matter of minutes before every pony in town was dressed as something other than a pony. With that, the festivities were able to get going at full bore. The monsters didn’t stop coming, but soon the ponies were ignoring them as easily as they ignored the ponies.

With things settled down, the thestrals settled into the general area around Princess Luna. A couple stationed themselves on clouds, a couple mingled with the townsponies. Chill Breeze chatted with the pair that pulled the princess’ chariot.

“Sweets for the sweetest mare in Ponyville?” Solar Eclipse inquired, offering the princess a hooffull of Sweetie Drops’ finest. As Luna happily accepted he continued on. “Are you going to be around? I’d love to take you out to dinner once you’ve put the moon to bed. And if you can stay the day, I’d be happy to tuck you into bed,~” he said suggestively.

“What in Luna’s name do you think you are doing?!” Corporal Moonshadow demanded of the stallion as she swiftly dropped to the ground near the two, trying unsuccessfully to separate them without touching either.

“I’m… asking an attractive mare out on a date. I thought that was obvious,” Private Eclipse said. “I wasn’t too subtle, was I? I’ve never gotten that complaint yet,” he added to the princess.

“No, you were not too subtle,” Luna reassured. “And what in my name do you think you are doing?” she asked the corporal.

“But- he- you can’t just hit on a princess like that!” Moonshadow objected, cringing defensively.

“Am I, a mighty alicorn and co-ruler of this nation, presumed powerless to defend myself from the verbal advances of an affectionate stallion?” Luna asked pointed.

“Well, no, I mean-” the mare fumbled before recovering. “No, ma’am! I just thought you wouldn’t want to…”

“You thought I wouldn’t want to be complemented, desired as a mare, and pursued?” Luna continued, calmly accusing.

When Moonshadow didn’t answer, Eclipse stepped in to regain Luna’s attention. “So… this morning at eight?”

Luna glanced toward Canterlot, considered her duties and obligations for the moment, then turned back to him. “I’d love to.”

“It’s not what you think,” I began as we took our seats.

“It had better not be,” Velvet said. “I’ve got quite the vivid imagination, as you’d know if you read any of my books. So perhaps you’d best make me stop guessing.”

“I, well, Cloud, I mean…” I started before pausing, taking a deep breath, and starting again. “Cloud Strife, the human who leads the Elements of Harmony, she recently and unexpectedly gained the ability to, well, do this. Join with a pony to become one person, a combination of both. Nanaki here is actually Cloud’s coltfriend, not your daughter’s.”

“Okay… so you didn’t just turn yourself into a human?” Night Light clarified. “How long does that last?”

“We’re researching how to undo it,” I said. “So far it’s been a few weeks. We couldn’t find a solution in the Golden Oak Library, so we’re trying the Royal Archives, starting with the Starswirl the Bearded wing.”

“Have you tried… not being a magical fusion of two ponies, err, people?” Velvet inquired.

I stared at her in disbelief. “It’s not that simple!”

“Have you tried?” Nanaki asked as well.

“Fine!” I said, closing my eyes and ‘trying’.

I opened them when I heard Twilight laugh nervously and request a sixth chair from the wait staff.

Interlude 4: A Changeling Perspective

Background Pony was Silver Platter.

The serving mare waited for her turn, and then walked up to Princess Celestia’s dining table, set her namesake before the princess, lifted the lid, and began to recede back into the background.

“Oh, umm… Silver Plate, I have a guest coming, please bring another tray of the salmon. They have… uncommon appetites,” the princess said. Background Pony was pleased the princess remembered them poorly enough to resort to guessing based on her cutie mark.

She nodded politely and cantered off, back toward the kitchens. Actually conveying the order to the cooks required speaking, but not much of it, and not to anypony who mattered. Here they were in the background, well ensconced in their natural element.

When she cantered back out, several minutes later, it was with perfect outward poise, as she delivered the new tray to the newcomer. Inside, alarm bells were ringing. She had been briefed on the humans. Human 1 had been in Ponyville for around a year, and was not present at the meeting. Human 2 was a more recent phenomenon, much less well known, and currently sitting two seats from the princess, enjoying the original tray of salmon.

Between the two was a new human, a ‘Human 3’ if you will. It had stark white skin as contrasted with the ruddy tone of the other human. Her purple mane (Background Pony assumed it was a ‘she’, but lacked confirmation) was impressively styled, compared with the more rugged and stallionly style of Human 2. As she approached to deliver the food, Background noted a trio of blue diamonds emblazoned on the human’s ubiquitous clothing, about where a cutie mark would be on a pony. However, they were hardly the only gemstones adorning the horned human, as tasteful highlights abounded, many including sparkling jewels.

“Thank you, Silver Plate,” the princess dismissed. Background Pony curtseyed and took her leave, fading into the background to quietly panic and observe.

“That’s quite an amazing new technique you’ve discovered… what should I call you?” the princess inquired.

“Rarity Strife, feels right,” Human 3 responded. “Though we’re actually here about another matter. Is your sister available?”

Princess Celestia shook her head. “I’m afraid not. She is actually in Ponyville, last I heard. She has been conducting her duties from there for the time being, but she should be back before too long. If you stay here in Canterlot another night or two, I’m sure she will return.”

Human 2 waved dismissively. “That’s alright. We were just hoping to investigate a matter, and hoped for her help. If we haven’t reached the bottom of it by the time she returns, we’ll certainly ask her.”

“What is the matter?” the princess inquired. “Perhaps I could help, or point you to somepony who can.”

“We were hoping to interview the nurse who, ehem, ‘greeted’ Prince Blueblood when he awoke from his extended unconsciousness,” Human 3 said. “We hope to learn whether his excuses hold any merit.”

Background Pony chose that moment to slip further into the background, into the tunnels that allow the help to move about the palace unseen.

Background Pony is one of the guards, deep under the palace. He salutes the other two holding their posts before continuing on toward the makeshift cell. He sets down the plate of scraps on a crystal outcropping and waits.

Stockholm approaches him and salutes. The drone in charge of personally attending the captive princess is pleasantly plump and smells of sex. The former fact diminishes notably as Background Pony gains a fair bit of girth. He knows it won’t last, but enjoys it while he can.

“What is her status?” he inquires.

“She is fully invested in the harvest. My best work yet, but she was such prime material to work with, I cannot take all the credit,” Stock said.

“Can we move her?” he asked.

“Yes, but give me as much warning as you can. It may be best to do so sooner, rather than later,” Stockholm said. “We would do well to keep her well fed so that she is not depleted by the harvest, but that will be difficult to explain without a change of circumstance. Of course, at this point, it may not matter. Her mind will not seek answers that would shatter her newfound bliss.”

“But somepony else is seeking answers up above,” Background Pony said. “I will report to the queen. She may have new orders for you after I do.”

Stockholm nodded and took the tray of food off to the side to let it age a bit while he was ‘off his shift’, before bringing it to his food.

Background Pony was Flagrant Style, complete with saddlebags full of clippers and combs, and sporting an audacious mustache. He knocked thrice upon the Princess’ suite door and was admitted, the guards at the fore rolling their eyes. Surely the Princess of Love was a bit obsessive with the mane styling if he was being called upon again. Background Pony had heard rumors of what else Flagrant Style must be doing on his visits, and wished they were true.

“Ah, my stylist has arrived,” Princess Mi Amore Cadenza announced.

“But your mane and tail are already perfect,” Captain Shining Armor said, in a bit of a perpetual daze.

“And I wish to keep it that way. Stay here, fiance, I shall see him in the office,” she commanded, earning only the simple affirmative her tone commanded.

Soon Flagrant was alone with the princess, a simple spell sealing in any sounds they might make with their illicit activities.

“Report, drone,” the green eyed alicorn demanded, even as she leeched the excess love off of him rapidly.

“A third human has arrived at the capital. A female, I think. Stark white skin, purple mane, and a horn like a unicorn. This horny human is named ‘Rarity Strife’, suggesting a relation to Human 1, ‘Cloud Strife’. She is attempting to contact my nurse persona, to inquire about Prince Blueblood. How would you like me to proceed?” Flagrant explained.

“Set three drones to the task of bringing me more information about this ‘Cloud Strife’, and her known associates,” Cadenza demanded. “I need to know who I’m dealing with. Do not reveal that persona to anypony today. Perhaps arrange a mention that she’s out sick, if you must. I want to know what we are dealing with first. If we need to change our plans…”

“Stockholm believes the prisoner is ready to move, and that it may be better to move her sooner than later. The love cow needs more feed,” Flagrant provided.

Cadenza tapped her chin thoughtfully. “It may be best to get her away where this investigation cannot stumble upon her. Go, set things in motion and keep your eyes and ears open.”

“Don’t forget the trim,” Flagrant suggested, and with a flash of green fire the alicorn’s mane and tail shrunk a few inches.

Background Pony was still Flagrant Style. He was taking a young mare, or an older filly depending on what one considered the cutoff, out to dinner at the local theatre. His dinner, not hers, though he bought her plenty of popcorn.

He liked her because she was nice and safe because she liked him because he was nice and safe. Through the simple expedient of subtly but not too subtly checking out the nicer looking stallions as they were about town, he had convinced her that he wasn’t interested in her sexually. This was true; she was just an occasional meal for him, and if they got that intimately involved she’d never leave him alone enough to keep up with all his other responsibilities.

“You gave her another mane cut?!” the filly asked. “That’s the fifth one this month.”

“She’s just nervous about her upcoming wedding,” Flagrant flagrantly lied. “Pretzel?” he asked, offering her a giant soft pretzel from the concessions. He’d had a bite for show, as was his way, before offering the rest and happily consuming the small surge of love he got in return. It was one of the reasons he kept things going with her: it was so much easier to keep this trick straight when the mare was nice enough to have her cutie mark and name match her favorite treat.

“Thanks!” she said, as if she needed to, taking the salty treat from her reliable stallion friend and nibbling happily. “Oh! We’ll chat more after, it’s starting!” The curtains parted for them, and the theatre was soon lit with the projector’s glow.

They weren’t here to watch the movie though. It was an action flick, more appealing to the average young stallion to either of them. No, they were both here to pony-watch, and quietly, conspiratorially whisper to one another about which colts were the most attractive looking in the audience. Occasionally the actors warranted a mention as well, but as they were less accessible they weren’t given as much consideration, especially not relative to their looks.

It was fun, as always. Background Pony preferred a feminine, heterosexual identity, so being able to trade such comments with a mare that bonded closer over them rather than instinctively becoming jealousy competitive was pleasantly tasty and filling.

As they parted ways, and Flagrant happily waved goodbye to his friend, he hid his amusement at her final reaction. He knew it was his alleged colt cuddling ways that made him ‘safe’ and kept their friendship together. So why did she always indulge in a moment’s lustful affection for him right before parting ways? He knew a lot of the ways of ponies, and had spent many an afternoon with Pretzel personally, yet that particular quirk remained inexplicable.

The meal was nice, and Background Pony silently cursed herself for not having stuck to her usual fare that fateful day. Pretzel had been busy, but Background Pony had been well enough fed to get by until she was free a few days later.

But when she had seen the prince there, just rousing, as his marefriend took her leave to relieve herself… the temptation had been too much. She’d taken the chance, mimicking the marefriend’s voice and bidding him keep his eyes closed. Her mouth got his juices flowing until she had a hot fresh meal of lust-fueled love, with a creamy dessert as well.

She’d been spotted by the marefriend, but she thought she’d gotten away without repercussions. Now the humans were looking into things though. And she had to worry they might catch on to things more important than that lone blowjob. Like the existence, nature, and capabilities of changelings. Or her part in Prince Rutherford’s extrication. Or worst of all, the queen’s replacement of the Princess of Love.

The marefriend! Human 3 resembled the marefriend in coloration and bore the mare’s cutie mark on her clothing. Was she some human unicorn hybrid? She seemed pretty mature for the age she would have to be in that case, unless the humans had been here much longer than she knew. She’d have to age as fast as changelings, with direct attention from their queen, rather than the norm for ponies. But Background Pony had no idea how fast humans matured, much less human unicorn hybrids.

She pondered these things as she coordinated with her fellow drones, distributing her queen’s commands. But now her orders were complete and she was running out of excuses to avoid checking on the situation in the infirmary.

Background Pony was Nurse Needles. Her cutie mark tended to prompt most ponies to avert their attention for fear of attracting her own. Ponies would tolerate an injection from a syringe to receive vital medicines, maybe an anesthetic, but never any more than they needed, so the stylized syringe with the ominous green fluid on her hindquarters spoke of nothing desirable.

This wasn’t her usual nurse persona. By the queen’s command, that ‘pony’ was out sick today, and her current persona quickly informed the charge nurse that it was so. To stay in character, she mentioned what injection she imagined she would have dosed the fictional pony with, had she and her ailment been real.

She kept her panic well hidden within herself as she saw that the humans and the prince were already here, in the infirmary, questioning one of the other nurses. Panicking on the outside was one of the things that got a ‘ling exposed. So with outward calm she trotted up to the inquirers and provided her excuse. “She’s out sick. I just got back from giving her her medicine at her home.”

“Oh? Then you know where she lives,” Human 2 reasoned. “Would you guide us there? We have some questions for her.”

“That’s not a good idea, you could come down with the illness yourself,” Nurse Needles objected.

“It’s doubtful the disease would cross the species barrier, particularly if it’s anything more dangerous than the common cold, and if it did we have Esuna to cure ourselves… it may even be able to cure her immediately. It’s worth risking a bit of mana to try, at least,” Human 2 suggested quite reasonably.

Nurse Needles panicked even more inside. The suggestion was far too reasonable. How was she supposed to come up with a counter argument on the spot for something like that?! Still, she kept perfect outward calm. “Alright, just wait outside the palace a moment. I’ll put my scrubs away and meet you on the front steps. I’m sure I won’t have any trouble picking you out from the crowd.”

They parted ways, and the nurse got as far as the secret tunnels before revealing both his true self and his panic. He rushed around blindly before slamming into Improv, knocking the surprised drone into a rolling tumble that he managed to turn into a one-hoofed spinning pirouette before settling back to his hooves with a dramatic flourish.

“Background Pony, what’s got you in such a tizzy?” Improv inquired.

Background shook his head. “We’ve got a couple of dangerous humans investigating my feeding on Prince Blueblood, and perhaps the injury from when he got into the tunnels. I tried to throw them off by saying my nurse-sona was sick, but now they want to visit her and try to heal her with some human magic! And they need me to lead the way!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Improv said, tapping his chin with a hoof. “So you’ve got a two ‘ling job at least. Do you want me to be the guide, or the sick pony?”

“Here we are,” Nurse Needles said, gesturing to a house in the less reputable part of Canterlot. “She lent me a key, so I will just go check if she is up to receiving visitors.”

Rarity Strife nodded, folding her arms under her breasts and turning to glance out at the street as they waited.

“What do you think she’s going to say?” Nanaki inquired.

“I think she’ll say she didn’t do it,” Rarity replied. “Whether she did it or not. I’m just hoping we’ll be able to judge her sincerity well enough to know if she’s lying. And if she is… We’ll just have to grill her until she gives us the hows and whys.”

The nurse went to the back bedroom to check with her fellow changeling, before returning to let the humans in. “She’s willing to see you, but do not be too long. She needs her rest. I must return to the infirmary to continue my duties.”

“Thank you, darling,” Rarity said. “We’ll take it from here. You’re obviously a good friend, and we’ll take good care of her.”

Needles pretended she hadn’t heard anything about grilling. “See that you do,” she said and then made good on her promise to leave. Her part was done, now it was up to her fellow ‘ling to get through this.

The two humans passed into the back bedroom, coming up to either side of the bed. “Nurse Fullheart? We have some questions to ask you about your interactions with Prince Blueblood,” Rarity began.

“But before that… I have some special healing magic that may help you. May I?” Nanaki offered.

“Please,” Fullheart asked softly before settling into staccato coughing pattern #36, always a classic if the cougher is careful not to overact it. But she sold it perfectly, coughing just enough to hit home how sick she was, without bringing suspicion it was being faked or worrying anypony that it was a deadly plague.

The red haired human shed waves of light as he tapped into his strange human magic, and green motes of light washed over the changeling. She had to check herself quickly to make sure she hadn’t lost her disguise to the magical effect, but it seemed it hadn’t actually done anything obvious to her at all. So, she merely used it as a cue to stop playing sick.

She waited a moment, visibly expectant, before letting out a light ‘huh’, and sitting up more in bed. “I feel… a lot clearer. Better than I have in days.” She cautiously slipped out of her bed, hobbling on wobbling knees over to the kitchen, and pouring herself some water to sip before slipping into a chair. “I owe you for that, no doubt. So, what did you want to ask? I’ll tell you truthfully, I promise,” she lied, before taking a well timed drink of water.

“We want to know why you were fellating Prince Blueblood in the infirmary, and particularly why you felt the need to imitate my- Miss Rarity’s voice in the process,” Rarity Strife inquired pointedly.

Right on cue, the changeling choked a bit on the water, blushing savagely as she tried to recover. “You… you look rather like her for someone who isn’t a pony. Is she your mother? Or half-sister perhaps?” When the woman made a vague gesture that neither confirmed nor denied, the nurse continued. “I was… trying to drive her off from him, actually. You don’t know him, do you? He’s such an arrogant brute. A monster of a pony to anypony who isn’t a noble. I generally believe everypony has a right to a special somepony, someone who really cares for them for who they are. But I make an exception for that louse.” She half growled the last sentence.

Rarity was taken aback a moment. “You… really did it just to make m- his marefriend jealous? Just to hurt him?”

“I’d hoped hitting him over the head with a 2x4 would be enough to put a damper on his social life, but it just seemed to make it worse,” the nurse self incriminated.

“You’re admitting to putting him in the infirmary in the first place?” Nanaki inquired, tensing.

“I promised you the truth,” she said, nodding in confirmation. “If you intend to take me before the princesses…”

“We do,” Nanaki confirmed. “We’re investigating with her blessing, we can’t just let knowledge we uncover about an actual crime go unreported.”

“...being confined to her dungeons in good health is far preferable to my own bed with such illness,” the changeling continued. “I regret nothing, except perhaps not swinging the wood harder.” She was, perhaps, starting to overact, but her audience wasn’t calling her on it. Ponies got into such fits of drama at times anyways.

“I appreciate your honesty… perhaps the princesses will see it as reason to be lenient as well,” Nanaki said, before rising and gesturing for her to start toward the door, his general mirth gone for the moment.

Background Pony was generic unicorn guard #12. “What were you thinking?!” he hissed at Improv, currently disguised as Nurse Fullheart, resting in her small dungeon cell.

“I was thinking, if they think they’ve solved the case, they’ll stop looking. The loss of one of your personas is a small price to pay for them dropping the matter,” Improv casually explained. “I’ll just do the classic ‘the prisoner seemed hurt but when I went to check on her, she somehow got the drop on me’ routing,” she added as green fire replaced the nurse with a guard, who collapsed to the ground, feigning unconsciousness.

“That’s… brilliant actually. But then, I better go before somepony finds you,” the changeling outside the cell said.

“Unless you’d rather play unconscious in here with me,” Improv offered. “It’s quite relaxing.”

“No thank you.”

Chapter 50: Sisterhooves Junction

Light pleasantries and greetings filled the air alongside the smell of freshly brewed tea as Fluttershy filled our cups. I sat opposite our host today, as Diamond Tiara sat at my left and Rarity took the spot next to the pegasus.

“I see you were able to separate from Twilight,” Fluttershy commented. “It must have been awful not knowing if you’d ever be yourselves again.”

“That detail was rather concerning, I’ll admit, but otherwise it was… quite nice,” I said. “Well, mostly. There were certainly a couple embarrassingly awkward moments, especially when we ran into Twilight’s parents.”

“I rather had fun with it as well,” Rarity admitted before explaining to Fluttershy. “After Twilight and Cloud were able to separate, she and I tried junctioning as well, to see if it worked with other ponies. We got a couple others to try as well, but it seems to only work with certain ponies close to Cloud.”

“I’m kind of glad it didn’t work with me,” Diamond pointed out. “I love my new mom, but I don’t think I want her knowing everything that goes on in my head.”

“I already know you’re a draconophile. Do you even have anything left worth hiding?” I teased.

“See? That’s another reason. Twilight Sparkle’s excessive vocabulary obviously wore off on you. I don’t need to become more like you than I naturally will as your daughter,” Diamond Tiara pointed out.

The other mares giggled a bit, before we shifted gears. “We caught the pony responsible for assaulting Prince Blueblood, and for tricking him into infidelity,” Rarity said. “Since we were junctioned, she didn’t realize who she was talking to when she confessed. I’m still… a little put off from the whole thing, but I think I’ll give him another chance when I’m in Canterlot again. To think that I would be dragged into such political intrigue!” She was more than a little excited at the prospect, I knew not only from her tone but from her thoughts at the time.

When I gave a little laugh, I got more attention than I expected, and after a moment explained. “One of the benefits of junctioning, even for a limited time, is that I get to know my fellow Elements better, how you think, what to expect from you. We’ve all picked up a lot of that from training and working together, but this is definitely much deeper. I’d like to spend some time linked with each of you, both during training sessions, and perhaps doing some more normal things as well.”

“Oh, like flying?” Rarity suggested. “You were able to enjoy the use of our horns when junctioning with unicorns, I imagine you’ll sprout wings with a pegasus.”

“Though, I’m… not really the best of flyers,” Fluttershy quietly pointed out.

“Better than I am,” I countered. “But that’s not really the point. The point is to see things through your eyes, fears and doubts included, so I can be a better leader to you. And who knows? Maybe a bit of my confidence will rub off on you, just like Twilight’s excessive diction.”

“Hmm,” Fluttershy said quietly, as the conversation petered out for a bit. Everyone took some time to sip their tea.

Rarity broke the silence, bringing up another topic. “I’m glad we made it back when we did. The Sisterhooves Social is coming up in a few days. I’d hate to miss a year with Sweetie Belle. It’s one of our favorite things to do together.”

“Sisterhooves Social?” I inquired.

“Oh, it’s a lovely little event here in Ponyville every year,” Rarity began. “It’s a great time for bonding between little fillies and their older sisters. There’s food, and games, and contests.”

“I’ve never been,” Diamond Tiara said. “They’re pretty open about who can be the ‘big sister’, but Dad was the only one who would have volunteered and I didn’t really want my dad playing that part.”

“They’d let a stallion in?” I asked.

Rarity shrugged. “I imagine so, though I haven’t seen it done. More often it’s a mother, or a female cousin or the like. Or even just an older mare the filly looks up to. They’re a bit stricter about the younger fillies themselves.”

“Is there something similar for colts?” I asked.

Rarity laughed heartily at that for a few seconds. “Oh wait, you were serious? I suppose there’d be no harm in something like that, as long as they kept it tasteful, and didn’t replace the makeover stations with, I don’t know, pissing contests or something.”

I gave Rarity a look while I wondered what colts actually would do that fillies did not. The likes of Rainbow Dash and Applejack certainly had no difficulty being physically competitive, or getting dirty. That pair in particular had had countless examples of what we humans metaphorically called ‘pissing contests’. But I’d never heard of a man or boy literally doing so, and couldn’t imagine ponies being different in that regard. Would they?

“You know… I’ve never been to one either,” Fluttershy quietly offered. “I’m too old to go as a filly, of course, but I wouldn’t mind going as your ‘big sister’. If you wanted, that is.”

“Really? I… I really appreciate the offer, Fluttershy,” Diamond said. “But… I was really hoping mom would take me.” Her pleading look to me reinforced the obvious, that she meant me and not her birth mother.

“I’d be happy to take you, assuming they’ll allow it,” I said. “We really should do some more fun bonding things together.”

Diamond and I both looked over at Fluttershy as she sighed in disappointment, looking forlornly at her teacup. She didn’t deflate nearly as dramatically as Pinkie Pie did, but the point still came across.

“Oh! I know,” Rarity said. “Why don’t you junction Fluttershy, so you two can both be Diamond’s big sister?”

Fluttershy looked at me with a case of the ‘puppy dog eyes’ that could only have been mastered at the tutelage of actual puppies. She even managed to extract a ‘fine’ from Diamond before I nodded and she practically leapt across the table to hug me, triggering the junction then and there whether she meant to or not.

The chair tipped backward and I landed uncomfortably on my wings, looking at the ceiling with one eye while the other was blinded with a wall of pink hair. “Sorry,” I said quietly to myself as much as anypony else.

I got Rarity’s help altering one of Fluttershy’s green dresses to my new proportions, leaving my weapons behind as I stepped out of the cottage. My wings spread, feeling the wind, and I looked out at the world like it was full of new opportunities. Fluttershy’s fears flicked through my mind, but Cloud’s confidence denied their power over me.

My wings seemed too short to properly lift me, but that was true of all pegasi as well. I knew they had to have a supernatural lift to them, especially with some of the stunts I’d seen the flying horses pull off, so I trusted them to pull me up into the air, and soon they did. Flying like this was… unfamiliar to both halves. It took me a few minutes of experimenting, but I soon settled into a pose more like a pegasus, with my torso horizontal and my limbs either dangling below or pulled up tighter when I was going for speed.

“You’ve gotten the hang of that rather quickly, darling,” Rarity complimented.

“I want to try,” Diamond requested. With a swoop, I snatched her from behind, lifting her up into the air with me and earning an excited cry she might have been too embarrassed to utter before children her age.

Rarity watched with vicarious happiness until she grew concerned, trailing after us on the ground while keeping a keen watch for any mishaps. As if I would let anything happen to my daughter.

On a whim, we landed atop a small cloud. I had to land upside down, letting Diamond rest on my chest and poke at the fluff with a look of open wonder. She couldn’t step on it herself or she’d fall through, but she got to play with it in her hooves. It wouldn’t hold shapes for her, but I was able to break some bits off with my hands and mould them for her amusement.

It was fun, light-hearted, and innocent, but we could only spare so much time for it. I had chores to take care of. Angel was already glaring at me, no doubt in need of his din-din.

I found myself glaring back. Not the full on ‘stare’, but the firm gaze of a seasoned warrior who wasn’t going to take such disrespect. Angel met it on equal terms for several minutes before we smiled at one another, and headed into the house.

Hands are amazing. Cloud never fully appreciated that, even after spending time as a unicorn. My chores were so much easier with these handy little digits. Wielding a knife came especially easily to me. I chopped up the vegetables for Angel’s salad and everyone else’s meals. I even found myself looking forward to filleting the fish for Harry.

I tucked all the animals into bed before leaving Angel in charge of the cottage. I was too tall for Fluttershy’s bed, and it wouldn’t do to leave Diamond Tiara alone for the night if I didn’t have to. So we walked back through the edge of the Everfree to Cloud’s house. I so badly wanted to fly, but it felt rude. Besides, the weight of my sword on my back, uncomfortably pinned between my wings, made it more troublesome.

The sniper rifle was right out. I’d tried it out just to get a feel for it, but the trigger was meant for a whole hoof rather than a finger and the scope aligned for a pony’s head shape and neck length… it didn’t rest properly on a human’s shoulder like a Shinra-made gun would. I’d have to settle for being a flying swordswoman, and use materia if I needed a ranged attack.

Not that I expected trouble. Most of the creatures native to the Everfree, especially this corner of it, recognized Cloud easily and knew not to make trouble. They also were usually on good terms with Fluttershy and could be talked out of making trouble with a kind word. Really, the only trouble I couldn’t easily avoid or deal with was Diamond Tiara.

“So, are you going to sleep with Nanaki like that?” she asked me.

I’m not even sure what I said in response, it was so quiet and my heartbeat was drowning out my thoughts as it pumped a rush of blood into my cheeks and I shifted my position to try to hide behind my pink hair. Diamond just giggled at me, making it even worse.

“I hear pegasi can do all kinds of fun things with their feathers,~” she teased.

“Where did you even hear something like that?” I questioned quietly.

“Scootaloo,” Diamond said with a shrug.

I gave a little sigh. “How has that been working for you… Spike and you fillies, I mean? If I… if I went down that route, I imagine it’d be a bit like that with Nanaki. Unless we just… you know.”

“Made an actual herd?” I nodded. “What we have… works for us for now. But it kind of… feels unstable. Sweetie Belle and Spike are quite happy with it. But the rest of us? It’s not that we don’t enjoy it, but it isn’t enough. Not in the long run. I’m in no hurry, but I still want a special somepony of my own, you know? A little action on the side doesn’t change that. And the greed growth thing means we can’t just share Spike like that. I mean… I guess we could. Sweetie’s got a spell that makes that nice in bed, but… what about the rest of life? We’d have to move out of town, and everything.”

“Nanaki doesn’t have that kind of issue at least,” I said. “And… you get really close to somepony when you share a body and mind with them for a few days. If everypony really wanted to, it’d be harder and harder for me to say no to a herd.”

“But everypony doesn’t?” Diamond prodded.

“Twilight found it an interesting experience, and she’s glad she did it, but she’s basically moved on already. I think we could woo her into it if we tried, or maybe if we spent more time junctioned she’d get into the idea, but it’s definitely not a priority for her right now,” I said.

“And Rarity?” Diamond pressed with a sing-song teasing voice.

“We didn’t do anything!” I objected. “Well, not that we didn’t think about it. With both…”

“Both?”

“Nanaki and Prince Blueblood…” I whispered.

We walked in silence a bit. “But only thought about it,” she noted finally.

“Rarity could go either way too, at least right now. But we’re not going to press her, and if we don’t she’ll give Blueblood another chance.” I shrugged, glancing at my wings in a bit of surprise at how the weight shifted. I wasn’t used to the sensations yet. “It’s up to him if he keeps her this time. If we invited her into a herd right now though, she’d join, but honestly it’s because she thinks it’d be easier. Blueblood lives in Canterlot. He’d give up more than he is willing to to move to Ponyville, and her work and friends are here.”

“That’s not a great reason to join a herd,” Diamond noted, to my silent agreement.

“As for Fluttershy,” I said, pushing through the insecurity that was now my own. “I’ve never been with a stallion before, I really don’t know what to feel about it except nervous. I’ve never been with a mare before either. It is tempting to do it like this, so Cloud-me can help Flutter-me through it, even if that’s cheating in a way. But then what if I like it too much, and I can’t help but get involved deeper? And then what if I accidentally break up Cloud and Nanaki? Or what if I can only do it while junctioned, and end up losing myself forever and becoming Cloudshy forever. Will I really have time to take care of all the animals and lead the Elements at the same time?”

“You worry too much,” Diamond stated.

“I do,” I agreed. “But knowing that doesn’t stop me.”

The next day, while Diamond was in school and after finishing my morning chores at Fluttershy’s cottage, I took to the skies. I took a lonely cloud hovering near Sweet Apple Acres and started pushing it about, still marvelling a bit at the fact that I could. There was definitely a bit of weight to it that I could feel as a slight strain when I tried to push it around.

Fluttershy wasn’t much of a flier, as pegasi go. She usually preferred to hover or drift, or even walk about. She’d been teased about it quite a few times as a filly, and Rainbow Dash’s protection had been the foundation of their friendship. But like this? I could feel the familiar sensation of the mako in my cells flowing out through my blood into the muscles of the wings, strengthening them. Without it, I could barely push the cloud around, but with it I could take it half way to the Everfree before I paused to look around.

Now that it was ‘mine’, or at least out of the way, I got to work on sculpting it. I didn’t have a particular plan in mind at first. I was just playing with the fact that I could shape clouds with my hands and have them stick the way I stuck them. I had managed to create the likeness of my daughter and was starting in on a similar cloud mould of myself when an angry sounding voice cut across to me from the far side of the cloud.

“Alright! What wise-pony stole my accent cloud? And what are you doing with it… wait, is that a cloud sculpture?” Rainbow Dash winged closer to me, even as my nervousness drew me to keep hidden behind the cloud. “Fluttershy?!”

Hiding failing, I flitted up above it, landing on a bit I hadn’t incorporated into the statue yet, and waved with a deep blush. “Uh, hello Rainbow Dash. I’m sorry I took your cloud… you can take it back if you want it.”

“Whoa! You got merged with Cloud this time? And… learned how to sculpt clouds?! That’s really good, Fluttershy. Cloud? Help me out here…”

“I’ve been going by Cloudshy,” I offered. “I just… I’ve been trying things since I, you know, came together. And since I was planning to take Diamond Tiara to the Sisterhooves Social… I got inspired.”

“I’ll say,” Rainbow said, admiring my handiwork. “The Sisterhooves Social, huh? You’re just lucky I’m not going.”

“How’s that lucky?” I asked.

“Well, you won’t have me to compete against, especially in the main event,” she pointed out.

“You could always take Scootaloo,” I suggested. “I hear they’re pretty loose on who can be a ‘sister’.”

“Scootaloo? The pegasus with your daughter’s herd?” she confirmed.

I rolled my eyes at the word ‘herd’, but otherwise didn’t object. “She’s an only child, and she’s a huge fan of yours. She even calls herself the Element of Awesome, in your honor. You could at least ask… if that’s alright with you.”

“You know… I might just do that. See you at the races,” Rainbow said before racing off back toward town. As the rainbow streak slowly faded behind her, I wondered what would come of this. But rather than focus on my fears, I focused instead on the exciting new opportunities.

Chapter 51: Sisterhooves Social

“I’d like to register as this filly’s ‘big sister’,” I told the ladies running the signup. It was odd, but I was a bit nervous about it. And not because I was technically not a blood relative, nor because I was legally her mother. I knew from Fluttershy’s memories that both matters had been waved before. For that matter, I saw Rainbow Dash and Scootaloo already enjoying the preliminary diversions together. Nor was it just the nervousness I inherited from the shy pony.

It was that somewhere deep inside I still identified as male, in part if not in whole, and Rarity’s casual sexism in the matter still preyed on my mind. But in the end, it didn’t matter. Nopony who knew about my past would have held it against me. “Of course! We’ve always kept a rather… loose definition of ‘sister’ for these events.”

I thanked them and continued into the little festival. We looked around a bit to see who else had shown up, scoping the competition. Diamond helpfully provided dossiers of the other foals from her school that I didn’t know well, though she only knew so much about their respective sisters. But by far, I expected the other elements to be our biggest competition.

Aside from Scootaloo and Rainbow Dash, the Apple sisters were on the scene as well as Sweetie Belle and Spike. Not seeing Twilight or Rarity, I headed toward the latter pair curiously. “You here to give your marefriend moral support?” I questioned.

“More than that,” Spike said. “I’m her ‘big sister’ for the day. No teasing! Rarity and Sweetie have been butting heads since you got back from Canterlot, and it was an easy excuse to spend some more time together doing something fun.”

“Great! I’m looking forward to competing with you two then,” I said.

“Yeah? We’ll see you how you feel after the pie-eating contest starts,” Spike said with a competitive grin.

“Any idea where Silver Spoon is?” Diamond inquired.

“She didn’t have a sister to come with her, so she volunteered to bake pies for the competition, as well as the pie eating portion of the race,” Spike answered.

“Oh? We have to join the pie eating contest then,” Diamond insisted. “Silver makes the best pies in Ponyville.”

“Don’t let the Cakes hear you say that,” Pinkie Pie said from behind me, startling me into a 30 hoof vertical leap I couldn’t have managed without my wings. “Not that they have fragile egos or anything, but… seriously, don’t. Never antagonize my landlords.”

“Then they better not enter any pie-baking contests,” Diamond cautioned teasingly.

“Enough trash talk,” I said. “We have some pies to eat.”

We placed third in the pie eating contest, to our regret. We never stood a chance against the Apple sisters, but eventually it stopped being about winning the contest and became about gluttonously over-indulging in Silver Spoon’s baking. Pinkie Pie had managed to enter the contest on her own, and out-ate even Applejack and Apple Bloom. She was still eating when they pinned the ribbon to her mane and the rest of us wandered off to let the excessive amount of baked goods digest.

“Mommy’s got a wittle bitty tummy-ache,” I admitted to Diamond Tiara as we approached a nearby tree to sit down and rest it off. I sat down with my back against it, as my daughter giggled at my choice of words before sitting down with her head and hooves in my lap.

“The Flutter-speech is cute, but I’m glad you don’t talk like that all the time,” she said. “I don’t mind if we sit the rest of the competitions out, but I want to win the race. And for that we need to be as competitive as I know my mom can be.”

“Don’t worry, little Tiara, mommy’s going to bring her A game,” I assured her, earning another round of giggles. “We’ve trained for this. Now, let’s go over the plan again.”

The rules of the race had long insisted on no wings, no weather manipulation, and no horn magic. This was a test of the body, and while that tended to favor the local earth pony majority, it was the rules everypony had long agreed to and wasn’t changing much now. The advent of materia, and in particular Rainbow Dash with her Time materia, had gotten the rule against using magical devices changed from unspoken to painted on a sign in large letters and pointed out explicitly to the mare. Not that Rainbow Dash needed to cast Haste to be fast, even without wings.

There had been some discussion with Twilight Sparkle bringing up the long debated theory that earth ponies’ athleticism held an element of magic to it. The theory being that they were every bit as magical as the rest of ponykind, they just expressed it through their bodies. That was dismissed initially as ‘hokum’, before they more formally ruled that even if earth ponies were somehow fueling their muscles with some internal magic, that it was okay to do so. The upshot was that the ruling clearly covered the mako within me as well.

Diamond Tiara was a relatively poor athlete as far as earth ponies go, but her training as both an Element of Greatness and as my daughter had done much to improve her strength, stamina, and especially speed. But her subordinates had trained just as hard, starting from a life without the weakening influences of being spoon fed by a wait staff every day, Silver Spoon aside. But she was a smart filly, and willing to trust my lead when it came time to execute on the plan we had developed together. We would rely as much as possible on my advantages, while she did her best on the parts that were all up to her.

Of course, it all came down to one little trick that wasn’t against the rules, but might well be next year if we pulled it off. The rules specifically didn’t allow the younger sister to ride around on the elder sister’s back, something that had apparently happened once upon a time, and not been allowed since.

But there was no rule against picking up your little ‘sister’ in your hands and throwing her.

“You ready to lose?” Rainbow Dash taunted.

“Not yet,” I said, continuing to stretch with Diamond Tiara. “Maybe next year.”

“Maybe we should…?” Scootaloo said to her mentor, pointing at what we were doing.

Dash looked about to deny her to be contrary, but then nodded. “Actually, we really should,” she agreed, and the two pegasi began their own stretching. “It’s almost time for the race.”

“Is this thing on?” the elderly voice of Applejack’s grandmother called out. “Hello!” she called out loudly again, apparently struggling with the use of a megaphone. Seeing the tool in her hooves gave me a weird feeling, like an anti-deja-vu. Like something that should have happened never had, but I had no idea what to make of it. “What is the- e- oh. You have to say so. Confangled modern doohickeys. Now, the event you've all been waiting fer! The Sister Soci- The Socialhooves- Oh, dabnabbit, you know, the big race! We have five teams this year fer the event! So y'all head on up to the finish line, y'hear?”

As we started to make our way over, she corrected herself. “The start line! We have a record-making eight teams this year, so this’ll be a competition to remember!” She waited long enough for everyone to take their marks. There were four pairs of ponies I only vaguely recognized, locals that hadn’t distinguished themselves to me enough. They didn’t have a chance, I knew, but I hoped they had fun trying their best.

Spike and Sweetie Belle were on the far end, having registered first, while Diamond and I had been last to register and thus were in the opposite position. Applejack and Apple Bloom were right next to them, grinning happily as they braced to start the race, while Scootaloo and Rainbow Dash were toward the middle, wings spread as they looked poised to take flight.

“Go!” Granny Smith shouted into the megaphone. And suddenly there was a flurry of hooves beating down the path. The track started with a straightaway, and Rainbow and the Apples took an early lead. They quickly came to a massive mud pit and leapt clear over it in a single bound. I watched several other ponies cross it similarly, a few not quite making the distance and needing to swim through the viscous substance the last few feet. Sweetie Belle actually bounced her way across it, her step somehow light enough to not break the surface tension. Spike simply swam through from the start, muscling his way through in decent time.

I kept pace with Diamond until we reached the edge, before reaching down and picking her up, belly held aloft by a single hand as I pulled back and threw her clear across. I had to back up a bit for a running start before leaping across myself, eyes aglow with mako as I cleared the obstacle.

The surprised gasps from the audience, and follow-up commentary came and went, with nopony making a fuss about it, so I went ahead and repeated the maneuver a few times, catapulting my daughter forward from the middle of the pack to second place, between Rainbow Dash and Applejack, my mako powered legs helping me make up the time and come up fast.

We came to a set of barrels laid out in two lines. For the elder ponies it was a stretch, as they needed to plant their hooves in alternating barrels, far enough apart it was a bit unpleasant for them. Spike and I had the advantage here, as it was easier for bipeds to manage and we both gained on our equine adversaries. The smaller fillies leapt entirely from barrel to barrel, and Diamond Tiara lost us some time. I felt it important as a matter of fairness that she complete this obstacle herself.

Then I threw her to the next obstacle, a pile of crates to scramble over. She sailed right over Rainbow Dash, landing at the base of the crates. Her knees bent to absorb the impact, then sprung back out, propelling her up to grab the top crate and start scrabbling up, just as we had practiced.

“Look out!” Rainbow yelled just as she crashed into Diamond, sending both tumbling forward uncontrolled, along with the top crate. Diamond was first to recover, getting to her hooves and running toward the set table ahead of her, while Rainbow lost a few positions recovering from the crash herself. The lowered obstacle, however, meant everypony else had an easier time, young fillies leaping clear of a single crate with ease. Even Spike cleared it without losing momentum.

We came next to a table set with sixteen pies, one for each contestant. After burning so much energy, I was ready to tackle another one, and dug into it eagerly. Diamond had a disappointed look on her face as she ate, and I soon realized why. The apple pies were obviously the product of the Apple family; good, but not up to Silver Spoon’s truly gourmet standards. They were made with the same fresh apples, and certainly weren’t bad but we’d been spoiled during the pie eating contest.

“See ya’ll at the finish line,” Applejack said as I sat down to eat, her and her sister already finished with their desert.

I took my pie tin in my hands, bending it into a bit of a funnel and practically pouring the pie into my mouth, eating it in a stream of pie-stuff, gasping for breath once it was all down. Still far slower than the Apples, but faster than many of the other ponies. Diamond was ready to go as I got back to my feet, and we were back in the race, pulling ahead of our pegasus friends.

The next challenge was a massive hay bale for each team to push down the course, something which clearly favored the strong. The Apples did this for a living, and it widened the gap in their favor. But with mako pulsing through my blood, I shoved the offending block forward fast enough that Diamond needed to simply gallop just to keep up. It put us in a solid second place, going into the u-turn that served as the halfway mark.

Coming past the turn, we came to a row of grape presses. Each was a massive open-topped barrel, with a spigot to let the pressed grape juice drop into a jar below. A pile of grapes waited before each to be thrown in for the younger fillies to stomp until the jar was filled past a marked line.

I tossed the grapes in easily, followed by my daughter. The initial force of her landing crushed enough grapes that we nearly met the fill requirements, and we were right behind the Apples as the fillies clambered out. I saw Rainbow Dash buck Scootaloo into the air, adapting my own move even as I hurled the jar with my daughter wrapped around it toward the stool waiting down the track to receive it.

The apple toss was next: a series of benches laid out in parallel, each with a bushel of apples stacked on one end. The younger fillies ran past to pick up a bushel sized barrel to catch the apples in. Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and I simultaneously leapt onto the far end of our respective benches, sending the apples flying. For my own part, I was forced to duck under the projectiles, given my super-pony height, and nearly forgot to tuck my wings down. Rainbow and I were neck and neck as we rushed to the next challenge, Applejack close behind.

The next bit needed some finesse. A series of chicken coops provided eggs to be balanced on a pony’s nose and carried several yards to a series of baskets. Each team had to safely transport five eggs from the coops, and they could only be touched by nose outside of the coop itself. The delicate nature of the work gave time for other teams to catch up. My hands were a great help for getting the eggs balanced in position in the first place, but my height made it impossible for me to enter the coup myself without crouching into a position I couldn’t easily recover from while balancing an egg.

Our solution was simple if somewhat slow. I crouched within the coup and balanced the eggs on Diamond’s snout one at a time, while she carried them forth carefully, and rushed back as fast as she could manage. It dropped us back a fair bit, as other pairs managed two at a time. Spike, impressively, managed to balance his whole stack of eggs on his snout at once, making it in one trip rather than our four round trips plus a final go.

We were toward the back when we rushed toward the final obstacle, a set of wooden hurdles. But the gap was short. Rainbow Dash was already past the finish line, calling cheers on toward Scootaloo, but both team members had to cross in order to qualify.

When I reached the hurdles, I hurled Diamond for all I was worth, clearing all of the wooden hurdles in a single go. Mako continued to surge through me as I bounded over them two at a time, outpacing the competition. Apple Bloom fell behind, Applejack seeming to forget her as she sprinted for the finish line. Diamond was still running for it, but she could see she wouldn’t make it.

“Punt me!”

I wavered, Fluttershy’s influence making it hard to do the maneuver, even though I knew it would be the only way to win. She wasn’t quite fast enough on her own hooves, and the slow down to grab and throw her was too much time. Picking her up and carrying her like a football would almost certainly be disqualified as her ‘riding’ me.

“No, just run!” I finally said, as I reached her. “Do your best!” I slowed to match her pace, as crossing the line without her was pointless.

Her best was second place. Scootaloo edged her out by a nose. “ha ha! We win! You know it! We did it!” Rainbow Dash sung out, dancing about while holding Scootaloo aloft.

“So close,” Diamond said, before congratulating her friend.

“Only because I was too nice to punt my daughter,” I objected quietly.

“What was that? I can’t hear losers,” Rainbow taunted, still dancing.

“I want a rematch,” I said quietly.

“It’s okay, mom, really,” Diamond said, but I didn’t really notice.

“Still can’t hear you…” Dash said. This wasn’t my favorite side of her.

I felt Fluttershy’s inner strength boiling up in me. The same power that fueled her infamous Stare. I would not be ignored.

“I challenge you to a race down Ghastly Gorge!” I shouted, stunning everypony with the ferocity of it.

Diamond Tiara facehooved.

Chapter 52: Sisterhooves Rematch

“This is dumb,” my daughter helpfully reminded me. “We all know Rainbow Dash is the fastest flyer in Ponyville. You’re just going to embarrass yourself.”

“I have mako, and wings,” I stated, undeterred.

“This chasm is full of dangers,” Diamond Tiara added.

“That’s more to my advantage than hers,” I asserted, even as I continued my stretching.

“And who even cares? Sure, they edged us out in the Sisterhooves Social. We got 2nd place! Out of 8! We even beat out the Apples, and it’s their farm,” Diamond said.

“Diamond… this isn’t just about some silly contest,” I claimed. “All my life, ponies have taunted me for my poor flying skills, and now for Rainbow Dash of all ponies to mock me for losing a race… one I could have easily won…”

“All whose life?” she questioned pointedly.

I paused a moment, before shaking off the impact of her words. “Diamond, dear, just let my fly a little race. I know Rainbow Dash is fast, but I know I can fly fast enough to make this a good competition, and in the end we’re just going to have a bit of fun and whoever wins will rib the other a bit, and we’ll just be that much closer as friends.”

Diamond nodded, satisfied. “Right. For a moment there I thought you were taking this much too seriously. Now get out there and try!”

She trotted back to the small audience of our friends that had gathered, while I headed for the starting line. When they thought I wouldn’t hear them, Silver Spoon turned to her and spoke the words that revitalized my determination to win. “I still can’t believe you bet against your own mom.”

“Racers, on your marks,” Applejack demanded, and Rainbow and I both spread our wings, coiled to leap into flight. “Get set.” The world dimmed to my perception as the mako flowing through me made my eyes glow brightly. My legs and wings felt uncomfortably warm, making me all that much more eager to move them. “Go!” I barely heard the crack of the rock as we took flight, the rush of wind drowning out anything quieter.

It.
Was.
Amazing.

The rush of wind, the thrill of the competition, pushing myself forward to let less of that rainbow contrail into my vision. I could see why Rainbow Dash revelled in this sort of thing. Cloud could be fast, and Fluttershy could fly, but neither of them could actually fly fast alone.

We came to the first turn, and Rainbow had a slight lead. But she took to the outside, using the extra room for a more gradual turn, making it easier for her to take it at speed. But I was made of tougher stuff, I knew, and took the inside lane, banking more sharply and cutting ahead. There was no way Dash’s wings could handle that strain, but I was full of mako.

I couldn’t see Rainbow any more. I wondered a moment whether I had any sort of contrail at this speed, but I wasn’t about to turn and look. I made a mental note to ask somepony else later. To ask Rainbow Dash.

I caught sight of massive sharp-toothed heads up ahead. Quarray eels. Giant serpentine creatures large enough to swallow a pony whole. They lived in tunnels bored into the walls of the gorge, and rather resembled the more conventional aquatic eels. They were hungry, I could tell, and would try to make a meal of us.

They could try. I knew both of us were too fast for them to actually catch. But, simple minded though they might be, their simple minds were able to predict simple motion patterns, and time their bites accordingly. We’d have to mix it up when we were close, shift direction or speed when it was too late for the eel to compensate but not too late to get out of the way. In short, we had to dodge.

Fluttershy’s knowledge of animals made it that much easier to predict them, to know just what they would do and when. Cloud’s expertise as a soldier made it that much easier to plan a counter, to decide the best maneuver to slip past the enemy. Keeping to one side effectively halved the number of eels I had to deal with, and slipping high or low cut the number further, but I still had to jink past at least a dozen.

When I was past the first batch of eels, I risked a glance back. Rainbow’s contrail perfectly mapped out how she had dodged and weaved, keeping out of the path of most of the caves on her side of the gorge entirely. It was a safer bet, but it had made her path longer and with more direction changes bleeding off her momentum. She looked downright angry at the gap we now had in my favor. I was beating Rainbow Dash, I realized.

I also realized I was losing feathers doing it. Had I been clipped by the eels? I wasn’t certain, but a few of my butter colored feathers drifted free behind me. No time to worry about it, I needed to return my focus to the gorge ahead.

“You aren’t beating me that easily!” Dash yelled, the volume enough to knock loose a few pebbles above. Unfortunately, that knocked loose a few larger rocks, which in turn knocked loose a few small boulders ahead of us.

What should have been a clear straightaway became a dynamic obstacle course. Rocks were even more predictable than eels, but there were so many of them. The smallest bounced off me harmlessly, while I was able to dodge most of the mid-sized ones. A large one, though, left me with a quandary, as it would be quite a turn to get around it, giving Rainbow a chance to close the gap.

I flipped upside down, flying just under it. Tucking my knees up to my chest, I gave it a mako-powered two-legged shove that Applejack would have been proud of. “What?! No way,” Rainbow objected as she watched. I heard a faint cracking sound, but didn’t spot any new cracks on the boulder. Probably on the far side. Regardless, I rolled back to my normal flying pose and tried to pour on more speed. Dash was closing, taking advantage of the fact that the rock slide had fallen past before she got up to it.

After a couple more turns, the finish line came into view. I still had a slight lead, but I knew the final stretch favored the more seasoned racer. Now was the time to give it all I had. My vision dimmed to where I could barely see as I dug deep into reserves I seldom had use for. My wings pounded, both fast and powerful. An eel snapped at me and I didn’t need to dodge, I was quite simply too fast. I couldn’t hear anything over the wind, could barely see, if Rainbow Dash was close I couldn’t tell, but I knew she would be giving it her all too. The finish line was so close.

And yet, so far away.

I felt, more than heard, a loud and terrible snap and one of my wings started flopping awkwardly. Before I could even think that I needed to compensate, much less how, the unbalance sent me hurtling into a wall, then ping-ponging off of it. The second wing snapped in much the same way, and I hit ground at speed, skipping along the stone like a rock skipping across a lake. I lost count of the impacts, mind too blinded by pain, before I settled into a painful roll that tore off feathers and skin.

When my movement had stopped, the first thing I noticed was that I was just shy of the finish line. I reached out for it, but my arm was just an inch or two too short. The second thing I noticed was Rainbow Dash, coming to a stop right behind me, her mouth moving like she was trying to ask if I was okay, though I couldn’t hear her over my own heartbeat. She’d stopped. She could have easily crossed the line and stepped back, but she’d stopped. It was one of her better moments.

I didn’t notice anything else until I woke in the hospital.

“Easy partner,” Applejack said, the first sound I heard when I regained consciousness with a deep gasp.

“I told you it was dumb,” Diamond Tiara pointed out. “But hopefully my winnings will cover most of the hospital bill. Get well soon, and we might even be in the black.”

I groaned, both at my daughter’s horribly insensitive commentary, and the terrible pain in my wings. I was still junctioned, I realized. I blearily opened my eyes, taking in the collection of ponies around me.

Diamond was sitting on the chair next to the bed, next to a mostly eaten tray of hospital food. On the other side, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity and Twilight Sparkle were all gathered. Pinkie Pie was past the end of the bed, grinning hopefully at me.

“I gotta hand it to you, Flutterstrife, you’ve got guts and you’ve got speed. You were really close to beating me before you injured yourself. What even happened out there, anyways?” Rainbow complimented.

“She strained her wings,” a masculine voice mentioned. It was distantly familiar… was it the same doctor that walked in on our little game of truth and dare almost a year ago? If so, had he forgotten? That seemed unlikely. Maybe he didn’t know it was me, well half of me? “It seems she used some form of magical aid to boost her speed and strength, without the obligatory secondary augment of toughening her flesh enough to endure it’s own power. She literally flapped her wings to pieces.” He brought up something vaguely resembling an x-ray scan, showing the awful state of my wing bones.

“This is a rather challenging matter to treat, in part because you’re not a pegasus,” Doctor Horse continued. “If you would simply separate back into your component parts, I could treat Miss Fluttershy in the usual fashion and she should be out in a matter of days. Miss Strife may well be uninjured and merely need to be kept overnight for observation. Very strict observation with no tolerance for inappropriateness, of course.” So much for him forgetting.

“Inappropriateness?” Diamond asked teasingly.

“What happens in Truth or Dare, stays in Truth or Dare,” Rarity explained, which was enough to earn a solemn nod from Diamond. I wondered briefly what secrets she might be hiding from playing the game herself, but wisely realized I did not, in fact, need to know.

“Okay, just… let me focus a moment,” I said. I remembered what it was like with Twilight, both the first time in the restaurant and the times we had tried again for additional practice. And with Rarity, as well, when we finally decided to call it quits. It was simple enough. I just willed my two halves back into separation.

“Any time now, darling,” Rarity inquired after a minute or so.

“Is there something wrong? Maybe you can’t actually separate out while injured,” Twilight speculated.

“Something like that,” I whispered, forcing everypony to hold their breath to listen in. “I’m… too scared.”

Diamond Tiara face-hooved, while the others tried to offer encouragement or sympathy.

“Have you tried… not being scared?” Twilight offered sheepishly.

I smiled appreciatively at the joke as I shook my head. “I’m too afraid of being an injured Fluttershy without Cloud’s courage and strength to help me through it. I’m sorry, I know this makes it harder to treat,” I apologized to the doctor.

He snorted. “Well, at least it will be interesting. That magical boosting I mentioned still seems to be in your system, though it’s not as thoroughly saturated into your wings as the rest of you. In fact, what I detect in the wings seems almost… residual.”

“It’s the Mako energy that Cloud was filled with,” I explained. It was weird how this junctioning thing left me speaking of myself in the third person for much needed clarity. “I guess, since Cloud doesn’t have wings, my wings haven’t gotten the same exposure. Um… it actually does make me a lot tougher than usual, but maybe that hasn’t affected the wings yet?”

“Well, it does seem to be enough to interfere with my medical magic,” Doctor Horse said. “You may just need to stay here for a few weeks, or even months.”

“I… understand,” I said, not really understanding. I knew what the words meant, but not how to keep my responsibilities met.

“Don’t worry about yer daughter, none,” Applejack said. “She’s more’n welcome to stay at Sweet Apple Acres until yer ready to come home to her.”

“Thanks, but no thanks, Applejack,” Diamond said. “I’ll be staying with Silver Spoon and her family. And of course coming here during visiting hours each day.” Applejack looked to take the rejection in stride.

“If there’s anything you need, darling, don’t hesitate to ask,” Rarity offered.

“A hospital gown shaped for a human?” I asked. “Well, a human with wings that is, if it’s no trouble…”

“No trouble at all, darling!” she assured. “At least the gowns here match the drapes… that’s something, right?” I suspected she was being overwhelmed by the urge to redecorate the hospital.

“Also, could somepony look after Angel and the others at my cottage?” I inquired.

“Of course, Fluttersh-... Strife,” Twilight offered, awkwardly. “Can I just get a list of what needs to be done for them?”

I started listing off my daily chores for her, making ample use of the extra-long scroll she was so fond of using for checklists.

Nanaki approached, looking concerned as he stepped into the room. “You’re awake now? Good. I was quite worried.”

“I am… I was wondering where you were?” I replied, as the ponies made room for him to approach.

“I was getting some sleep… I watched over you all night, but once your other friends arrived I excused myself,” he explained. “I healed you with my materia as much as I could, but as you know it doesn’t help much with broken bones.”

I nodded. I knew all too well from working with Shinra the limits of materia-based healing. There were some things that Cure just couldn’t cure. “I was just telling Twilight all the things Fluttershy normally takes care of. I’m sure she’ll need to delegate some of it.”

“It’s almost the end of visiting hours,” Nanaki said. “I’ve gotten permission to stay overnight, since I’m your, as they put it, ‘special somepony’. But the rest of our friends will need to take their leave soon. Besides, they have their own chores and yours to keep up on.”

“Oh! Before we go, we have some presents for you,” Twilight offered.

“Really? Thanks…” I tried to sit up a bit more, but that wasn’t happening.

“I baked you a cake!” Pinkie Pie said, before deploying a cake the size of a wedding cake but more neutrally decorated. “Each layer is a different flavor! Umm… Nanaki can help serve it up to you.”

“I remembered how dull and uncomfortable the hospital’s pillows could be, so I made you these,” Rarity said, her horn lifting and showing a trio of decorated pillows with embroidered messages encouraging me to get well soon. She deftly tucked them behind me, and worked with me to maneuver them into a comfortable spot.

“I umm… well, I wanted to get you some of that fish you like so much, but I didn’t want it to go bad, so I’ll, uh… be right back,” Rainbow Dash excused before zipping out of the hospital, earning a yell from the Doctor as she passed by.

“I brought you a book,” said the librarian, as she floated a novel out of her saddlebag. It showed a pegasus for some reason swinging on a vine through a jungle, with various ne’er-do-wells behind her. “Daring Do and the Quest for the Sapphire Stone” proclaimed the title. “I thought with all the time you’ll be spending in here, you’d want something to read. When you finish, I’ll be happy to bring you the next one, or something different.”

“Thanks, all of you,” I said.

“Don’t forget me,” Rainbow said as she zipped back into the room, offering me a plate of freshly cooked fish over rice. When she saw Twilight’s gift she scoffed a bit, commenting quietly. “Of course the egg-head would bring you a book.”

“And it was very thoughtful, as was your gift Dash,” I said before taking my first bite.

“Listen, Cloud, I’m sorry this happened to you. You pushed yourself really hard to beat me, and I really respect that, but… win or lose, I just wish you hadn’t gotten hurt,” Rainbow said. “If there’s anything I can do to help you feel better, just ask.” She leaned in close. “Except, of course, what got us in trouble here last time… that’ll have to wait.”

I blushed, which seemed to be enough to get Doctor Horse’s ire up. “Visiting hours over, everypony out!”

Prelude: Getting dressed for the occasion.

"Aren't you going to change?" Aeris' voice easily floated through the slats of the changing room. Oh Bahamut, this was so embarrassing. Still. I had to do it. And if I had to do it, I would do it right.

"Okay... I'm ready," I replied. I set aside my weapon, the massive Buster Sword. I felt naked without it, but that was the point. My new Mithral Armlet sooned joined it, followed by my uniform. I glanced at the changing room mirror. I looked... stupid. While my body was well toned and exquisitely manly, aside from the glow in my eyes that could be quite unnerving to many, my face was already done up in makeup that did its best to hide my masculine features from the neck up. Well, I would just have to count on the dress to cover everything from the neck down.

I started, as one must, with the lingerie I had gotten from the Honey Bee Inn. Man, that place was weird. The silken panties gripped me uncomfortably tightly. I was sure I'd be in rather intimate pain, rip the cloth, or both if anything turned me on while I was in this stuff... fortunately, the whole situation was just incredibly awkward and off-putting for me. So I was probably safe. At least until we got Tifa out and got out of there.

Next, I took a moment to apply the sexy perfume I had gotten from the woman in the restaurant. At least I smelled nice. That was something.

I tried on the diamond tiara for a moment. It was nice, but with my crazy hair... I don't know. I set it aside again. It should go on after the dress anyways.

And before that? I needed to put on that padded bra I had gotten from the sketchy merchant in that back alley. I had bought it from him mostly for fear that he would draw more attention to me and my little item collection if I didn't hand over some gil. Besides, as creepy as he was, at least he was correct. I needed a padded bra to make my outfit work and pass as a woman. Of course, I'd never put a bra on before. Truth be told I had never even taken one off of a woman. Hopefully, I'd be able to change that soon enough. Perhaps with Tifa, or maybe Aeris. I wasn't exactly dating either of them yet, but I hoped my heroics would count for something with at least one of them.

As I finally clicked the last clasp into place, however, something strange started to happen. The world started to rip away from me in an indescribable rush of color. I reached out, desperately, to grab onto something, my fingers wrapping around a piece of silky smoothness before I was flung free of the world entirely.

I woke up in a field of flowers, eyes complaining about a painful brightness even with my lids closed. I brought up an arm to shield myself from it, while I let my mind stop reeling. I wondered if I was back in the church in the slums for a moment, until I realized I heard chirping birds. Now that was an alien sound. I sure wasn't in Midgar anymore. They sounded even more musical than I remembered such things. More coordinated. I wondered if that meant this was a dream. Or perhaps they were some form of monster.

I sat up, and looked around, shielding my eyes with a hand now. I could see a cottage in the distance, and the birdsong seemed to be coming from beyond it. There was a dark and foreboding treeline in the other direction, but here where I was sitting was serene and peaceful.

Looking down, I saw my silken dress on the ground before me, still clasped in my left hand. The one last thing I had managed to grab on my way out of the dressing room, out of Midgar, and perhaps out of the world I knew entirely. Not my buster sword. Not my armor. Not even a single piece of materia. Well, at least I wouldn't have to run around in nothing but women's underwear.

Looking lower, I caught sight of my bra. It took a while to realize what I was looking at. It wasn't padded anymore. Not that it stuck out any less; my chest had swollen with soft, round flesh, filling out the contours naturally now. I spent a few minutes investigating, verifying what I saw. The breasts were real, sensitive to the touch, shapely but not all that generous, and remained even when the bra came off, however briefly.

I was surprised a moment when the exploration didn't cause me to strain the delicate panties that had been tightly hugging my manhood. The surprise turned to concern, and then with a quick check I confirmed the obvious conclusion. The bottom matched the top: I was entirely a woman now.

At least that would make wearing the dress less embarrassing. I stood up and donned the clothing, adjusting it as best I could without the benefit of a mirror. I had only tried it on once before, and it fit quite a bit differently now. Overly tight in the chest and hips, hanging loosely around my arms, and a bit too low at the bottom. It could use a bit of adjustment, but it would do for now.

I drew a deep breath and steeled myself. I was utterly unequipped for combat, but there wasn't anything here I needed to fight anyways. At least not yet. I looked the part of a civilian, a woman at that, perhaps a bit conspicuously provocatively dressed. I hoped I wouldn't be mistaken for a prostitute, at least. And perhaps I could find myself some equipment in the next town. Though how I would pay for it without my wallet, I wasn't sure yet.

Maybe it would be better if someone thought I was a prostitute. When you think about it, they're a form of mercenary, right? Right? Oh Bahamut, why was I even thinking of such a thing? The dress must be getting to my head.

As ready as I could be, I started off toward the little cottage, wondering who lived there. I was completely unprepared for what I would find.

Chapter 8: Truths and dares

"Okay, so here are the rules of the game," Twilight announced as we munched on the s'mores Pinkie had provided everyone. "We'll pick one pony to go first, randomly. She can pick anyone in the room to challenge. That pony has to choose 'truth' or 'dare'. If she chooses 'truth', she has to honestly answer one question from the one who challenged her. If she chooses 'dare', she has to do whatever the challenger dares her to do. Then the one who was challenged gets to challenge anypony else, other than the one that just challenged her. Simple enough?"

"Let's keep in mind, with the dares, that everypony here is injured. Let's not make the injuries any worse, okay?" I pointed out. I didn't want my marefriends hurting each other over a stupid game.

"If you aren't up to the challenge, you can switch from 'truth' to 'dare', or 'dare' to 'truth', but only once," Twilight continued. "And that's all there is to it."

"Great. Then I'll go first," Rarity began.

Fluttershy quietly mumbled something that was probably an objection.

"Fluttershy goes first," I stated in a tone that brooked no disagreement.

"What, why Fluttershy?" Rarity objected.

"What if I don't want to go first," I think is what Fluttershy questioned.

"Hay, if you go first you can't be challenged first, or second," Rainbow said, encouraging the shy pony.

"Alright, fine. Fluttershy can go first if she wants to," Rarity said.

"I said it was supposed to be random," Twilight voiced her own objection.

"It's Fluttershy's turn," I said seriously. Twilight sighed and let it go.

"Okay, umm, since you wanted to go Rarity, I pick you," Fluttershy offered sweetly.

"Dare," Rarity said. "A mare of mysteries like me needs to keep her secrets."

"Oh, okay, um... Rarity. I dare you to um... put on Pinkie Pie's silly glasses with the mustache," Fluttershy challenged.

"Well, alright darling, if you insist," she said, levitating Pinkie's prop. "With your permission, of course, Pinkie."

"Of course!" the pink mare agreed.

I suspected that was about the meanest dare Fluttershy was likely to ever make, especially given the target, but Rarity went along with it easily enough.

"I challenge you, Cloud," Rarity said. "Truth or dare?"

"Truth," I said, struggling to keep down a blush already. I had a bad feeling about where Rarity was going to take this, but I was determined to try out this new experience with my friends, even with all the discomfort.

"What was it like being a guy?" Rarity asked, fluttering her eyelashes.

Fluttershy tilted her head curiously at me. She already knew my background from our first conversation. And Rainbow had been there when I told Rarity, and was now licking her lips excitedly at the juicy gossip to come. But the other ponies looked more confused. "Hold on now, pardner, just what are you getting at?" Applejack questioned.

I held up my hands to get there attention. "First off, yes, I was a male before. When I first put this bra on," I said indicating the offending clothing, "it both transformed me into a female and brought me to this world from my own. I wasn't trying to hide that from everypony, but it's an awkward thing to discuss and I didn't want to make it a focus."

"May I see the item?" Twilight requested politely. "I'm an advanced student of magic, I might be able to figure something out from analyzing it."

I froze a moment, uncomfortable still with the nudity that would come of it, but seeing as I was surrounded with naked mares who didn't really have a nudity taboo, much less an interest in breasts, I nodded and unclasped it, watching as Twilight floated the cursed clothing over to herself.

"As a guy, well, I wasn't invited to any slumber parties for one," I said with a wink. "I don't think I've changed that much, aside from physically. But I am certainly a lot easier to fluster. It's silly, but sometimes little things get my imagination going, like a hoof grazing my hand making me wonder if a stallion is just giving me change or secretly hoping for a life of love and romance." I shook my head. "I'm sure you get used to it, growing up with it, but I'm still trying to adjust."

"We all know what it's like to be a mare, Cloud, but what's it like to be a stallion," Rarity pointed out.

"Yeah, like, were you hung like Big Mac, or more like Mr. Cake?" Rainbow Dash clarified.

"What? I haven't seen how 'hung' Mr. Cake is, why would you think I go looking down there?" I said, turning crimson.

"That was an oddly specific denial," Applejack said, with a suspicious look.

"I was pretty average, I guess," I said. "We didn't generally compare the size of our 'swords' in SOLDIER. Nothing like Big Mac though. I assume," I covered poorly. "Oh, also I didn't have these," I said, cupping my breasts to highlight them. "More just toned muscle up here. I was a few inches taller, and a little stronger as well. If anything, Rarity could give you better details on how my body shape changed; the dress I arrived in was perfectly tailored for my original male dimensions."

"Thank you, Cloud, though I think perhaps it was too vague of a question," Rarity said. "I'll do better next time. Your turn to challenge somepony."

I nodded, and looked around the room. Twilight looked preoccupied with the bra, holding it aloft in her power while some kind of light played over it. Fluttershy was smiling contentedly... I didn't want to pick on her. Rarity was off limits. Pinkie Pie seemed to random for my taste. That still left a few options.

"Applejack, truth or dare?" I challenged.

"Truth," said the Element of Honesty. I wasn't surprised.

"How do you use your tail like that? I mean, wielding a lasso and so forth. Is that some kind of magic, or is there more than just hair in there?" It might not have been deep or embarrassing, but I wanted to know.

"Shucks, pardner, I don't rightly know how it works," she confessed. "It's just like a hoof to me, or my mouth. I want it to move a way and it moves that way."

"Lame," Rainbow Dash cut in. "She doesn't even have an answer, ask another question."

"What? But I answered it wholly and honestly," Applejack objected.

"I'm afraid I have to agree with Rainbow Dash on this one, darling," Rarity confirmed.

"Alright," I said, getting more daring with my question. "Do you ever use it to masturbate?"

"What now?" Applejack asked.

"'Clop', that was what Rarity called it before. Do you use that tail of yours to 'clop'," I reiterated.

She blushed hard, but didn't shy from answering the question. "Sometimes. Not every time, but it has a nice soft touch that feels real nice. It's just a bit hard to clean up after, so I only use it if I'm on my way to the shower, or already there."

A hair audibly sprung out of place on Twilight before she set the bra aside and lifted up a book from her saddlebags, flipping through it eagerly. "Is that kind of question even allowed in Truth or Dare?!"

"Darling, that kind of question is why they invented Truth or Dare," Rarity assured.

"Alright, my turn to challenge. Pinkie Pie, truth or dare?" the mare said.

"Dare!" Pinkie declared, hopping up and down on her bed with excitement.

Applejack was put off for a bit, obviously having been planning something more truth-oriented. "I dare you to... clop with your tail!"

"Okay!" the pink mare said.

"I am very uncomfortable with how sexually explicit this entire scene is becoming," Twilight objected, refusing to look in Pinkie's direction.

I myself couldn't take my eyes off the mare, rather surprised by what I was seeing, though perhaps I shouldn't have been.

"Why is that, darling?" Rarity inquired. "Are you that inexperienced? Are you saving yourself for a special somepony?"

"Yes, of course I am. Isn't everypony?" Twilight countered, confused.

"Tell you what. Anypony here who is saving themselves, raise your right hoof now," Rarity said, raising a hoof, "and that pony is off limits for any such dares."

"Rarity, that's your left hoof," Twilight pointed out, while raising her right.

"Of course, darling, I'm not making myself off limits," Rarity said with a wink.

Finally, Twilight's attention was brought to Pinkie Pie as a rather loud clopping sound began. Finally looking, Twilight witnessed what we had seen coming. One held by the tip of her tail, the other closer to the base, Pinkie was banging two empty halves of coconuts together rhythmically in pairs of beats. Clop-clop, clop-clop, clop-clop, clop-clop.

"Pinkie, darling, I don't think that's what Applejack meant, dear," Rarity pointed out.

"It's not? Then what did you mean?" Pinkie asked with a silly grin that made it hard to tell if she was actually naive or just playing a joke.

"I'll allow it," Applejack said with a laugh.

"Twilight! Truth or dare!" Pinkie Pie demanded.

"As a scientist, I strive to uncover the truth in all things, so Truth," the unicorn said with a bit of arrogance.

"If you could have anypony as your special somepony, who would it be?" Pinkie inquired.

Another hair sprung out of place. "I thought you said nothing like that," Twilight said, aiming her accusation at Rarity.

"There's nothing sexually explicit about that question, darling. Go on, answer the mare," Rarity pointed out.

"Dare!"

"I'll be right back!" Pinkie declared, before fleeing the room. Her injuries obviously weren't holding her back that much. Of course, she hadn't been on the receiving end of any fire breath, and I had learned by then that earth ponies were generally tougher than others. It wasn't like Dash's broken wing, or even the new arrivals' head injuries.

"So... what do we do while we're waiting?" Rainbow asked impatiently.

"We could skip to the next item on the list? Though Pinkie might be upset to be left out of it," Twilight offered.

"Twilight could start on her challenge, while we wait for Pinkie to return," I offered.

Rainbow nodded. "Yeah, let's do that."

"Alright, Rainbow Dash. Truth or dare," Twilight challenged.

"I can handle any dare," Rainbow Dash asserted. "What have you got, egghead?"

"I dare you to sit perfectly still for one minute without falling asleep," Twilight said with a smug grin.

"What? What kind of lame dare is that," Rainbow lamented.

"Perfectly. Still. No talking," Twilight pointed out.

Rainbow huffed and then finally pulled her legs under her, and took up a stable position on her bed, closing her eyes so she wouldn't have to blink.

Twilight summoned a small hourglass from somewhere, a minuteglass I presumed, and flipped it onto a table. We all watched the sand pouring out, or watched Rainbow for signs of life. Just as the sands were almost depleted, down to the last five seconds I would guess, Pinkie jumped out from under Twlight's bed with a loud "I'm back! Didja miss me?!" Everyone expected Rainbow to jump at least a bit from the sudden noise, but instead she answered with a soft snore, proving she had lost in the other direction.

"Welcome back, Pinkie. What's that?" Twilight inquired, pointing to the pie tin in Pinkie's hoof. Whipped cream obscured the nature of the pie within, but it was clearly pie.

"Your dare, silly! I dare you to eat this pie!" Pinkie said as she set the confection in front of the unicorn.

"Ooookay," Twilight said, wondering why this would be a dare. Pinkie's giant manic grin making her nervous. But a dare was a dare, so Twilight began eating. She took a small bite and savored the taste for a bit. "Hmm.. creamy... heavy on the coconut... slight vanilla aftertaste. Something else I don't quite recognize... it tastes good." Pinkie was dancing from hoof to hoof with glee as Twilight finished the whole thing.

"Tee hee hee hee hee... Twilight just ate my whole tail clop cream pie!" she said excitedly, clopping her hooves together before bouncing back into her bed.

"Tail clop... wait, does that mean?" Twilight said, blushing fiercely.

"Yep! I made it with those coconuts," Pinkie said.

Twilight began to calm down.

"And an extra special secret ingredient," Pinkie elaborated.

"What's the secret ingredient?!" Twilight had to know.

"It's a secret, silly!" Pinkie explained. "Now it's your turn to challenge someone, Twilight!"

"I already challenged Rainbow Dash, but she failed the dare. So... what happens now?" Twilight asked.

"Same as with my question to AJ. You get to re-challenge her to another dare, unless she goes for truth instead," I arbitrated.

"Hey, sleepyhead, your still on the hook," AJ said, slapping Rainbow Dash's flank mark with her long braided mane.

"I'm awake, I'm awake!" Dash insisted.

"Sorry pardner, but we all heard you snore," Applejack pointed out.

"Dang it," Dash said. "So now what?"

"You get to do it again," Twilight said. "Only for two minutes now!"

"Ugh... no way. Truth!" Dash said.

"Okay, fine... let's see now," Twilight said, considering Rainbow carefully. "What is... your favorite book?"

"Really now, you are the most boring filly I've ever played with, Twilight," Rarity complained.

"That's an easy one, I don't read books," Rainbow pointed out. "My turn!"

"Oh? I'll make you regret that, Rainbow Dash," Twilight said, mentally taking up her own challenge.

Ignoring her, Rainbow turned to me. "Cloud, truth or dare?"

"Truth," I chose.

"How exactly did you see Big Mac's stallionhood? I want all the juicy details," Rainbow Dash challenged.

"Yes, darling, from the beginning," Rarity added.

"There better not be any juicy details," Applejack said. "This is my brother we're talking about!"

"I'm going to side with Applejack on this. Dare," I said.

"That sure doesn't make it sound like there's nothing juicy," Applejack accused.

"Don't worry, everypony, I'll get the truth out of her," Rarity assured.

"No need, I got this," Rainbow claimed. "I dare you to... reenact the scene where you saw Big Mac's package, with Applejack playing Big Mac."

"You can't use a dare to get the truth," I said.

"I'm afraid she's right there," Rarity said, backing me up. "You just need to make the dares more embarrassing than the truth."

"Okay, fine. Then... I dare you to get a good look at Doctor Horse' cock and tell us how it compares to what you had," Rainbow Dash challenged.

"You can't expect me to get him hard, he's not even a part of this game," I objected.

"Technically she didn't say anything about an erection," Twilight sided with me on that one.

"Alright, fine, this time," Dash allowed.

I unhooked the monitor from me and dropped down, hiding under the bed. Sure enough somepony came to check out the alarming monitor after a while, unfortunately it was one of the nurses not the doctor. Rarity quickly stepped in to assist however. "Nurse Redheart, darling, could you fetch the doctor. I've got a pain in my side that won't go away." Probably from laughing too much.

When the doctor did come in, I slid out silently from under the bed, getting as good a look at his undercarriage as I could while Rarity distracted him with unverifiable claims of discomfort. My spiky head bumped lightly against Pinkie's poofy mane between the doctor's legs. When I glanced up at her, she placed a hoof over her lips in a silent shooshing gesture before we each pulled away, having seen what we came to see.

I slipped over near the door, quietly kicking it over, then letting it slip shut noisily as I got to my bed, and reattached the monitor. "Where were you?" asked the nurse. "Restroom," I replied simply. "Next time let somepony know so we don't get alarmed about your monitor," she admonished. Soon enough, the doctor and nurses were on their way.

"So... how was it?" Rainbow Dash inquired as soon as the door shut behind them.

"Well, it was in his sheath, so I couldn't see that much. Humans don't have sheathes like that, it just kind of hangs out, even when it's not hard," I began. "His balls were a fair bit bigger than mine, and what I could see of the tip was a very different shape. Much flatter. It seems like it'd be hard to get that in to start with. Mine had a more rounded tip, which was extra sensitive."

"Here, draw it," Twilight requested, passing me a blank scroll, quill and ink.

"I can't believe you of all ponies is asking me to draw a cock," I pointed out.

"Two cocks. You were asked to compare and contrast," Twilight explained.

"Alright, alright. But I'm no artist," I said as I took the quill in hand and started drawing, blushing the whole way. Doing this just helped cement all the details of the doctor's horse-cock in my brain. At least it hadn't been erect. Who was I kidding, right then I really wanted to see it hard. Well maybe not his, per se. Simple curiosity, right?

I ended up drawing three pictures, showing some generic human guy both flaccid and erect, along with the doctor's sheathed dong.

"Surely you can draw a stallion hard," Rainbow objected. "I mean, if nothing else you've seen Big Mac, right?~"

"He was sheathed the whole time!" I said.

"Ah hah, at least one detail emerges," Rainbow grinned to herself.

"At least it's about as unjuicy as they come," Applejack stated with a bit of relief.

"Though that does bring up the question of why she's so insistent on hiding the other details," Twilight Sparkle pointed out.

"That's a very well done drawing, miss Strife," Fluttershy complimented quietly under the din of our discussion.

"I'll get to the truth," Rarity reiterated.

"Not any time soon," I pointed out. "Rarity, truth or dare?"

"Dare," Rarity chose.

"I dare you to clop here in front of us," I challenged. With all the sexual tension going around the room, I hoped I wasn't going to far. "And no playing dumb like Pinkie Pie. You know exactly what I mean."

"Why darling, I never thought you'd ask,~" Rarity answered seductively. It made it quite clear I hadn't realized who I was dealing with.

Her horn lit, and her magic pulled the blanket up and over her, even as she shifted her position, lifting her rump a bit and reaching a forehoof back between her back legs. Her most intimate parts were hidden from view, even as it was quite clear what was happening, somehow making the scene even steamier than if she had been turned away from us. Her face was pornographic enough, with cute stifled moans, deeply pleasured facial expressions, and ultimately an exultant expression on her face as she brought herself over the edge, showing off her soaked hoof before sensuously licking it clean as proof of the deed.

Somewhere along the way I shifted positions, pulling my legs up to clutch them against my chest. The position gave me as little access as possible to my own growing warmth, and did what I could to hide the damp spot spreading across my panties. I could only hope somepony would find a way to relieve me with a dare soon, before I lost the fight for self control and relieved myself without such an excuse.

"Rainbow Dash, truth or dare, darling?" Rarity asked with a satisfied smile.

"Dare, and it better not be boring," Rainbow said.

"I dare you to ask Cloud out on a date," Rarity said.

"What? What kind of a dare is that," Rainbow asked.

"Are you too chicken? Afraid you'll like it with a mare," Rarity teased.

"What, I'm no chicken. Yo, Cloud, go out with me," Rainbow invited.

"You need to be specific, darling, and at least try to make it sound inviting," Rarity clarified.

"Fine," Rainbow said before trotting over to me. "Hay there, chicken head, why don't you and I head down to Hayburger as soon as we blow this Popsicle stand, and get a bite to eat together? Just to warn you though, I'm the kind of mare who likes her desert first, if you know what I mean..."

I knew she was just doing it at as a dare, but then maybe with that wink she meant there was something genuine, at least a potential. The brash mare reminded me of myself, some of the traits I liked best and sought to keep at the forefront. Maybe we could be a couple... I certainly couldn't say I wasn't interested in such things right now. "Sure. Looking forward to it."

"Great, speaking of which," she said as she hopped back onto her bed, laying back and spreading her hind legs. "I dare you to eat me out."

"I haven't even chosen dare yet," I objected on principal, though I was already on my way over.

"Hmm, hmm, hmm... I can't hear you," Twilight hummed to herself while her magic pulled some of her bandages up to cover her ears and kept her eyes locked on a book hovering before her.

"Fine, what happened between you and Big Maaaa~" she began, unable to finish the name as I traced a finger along her slit.

"Dare it is," I conceded, pulling her rump closer to the side so I could kneel by her bed in a more comfortable position. It was a challenge to keep from rubbing myself off, as horny as I was. I took the opportunity to get a good look at her down there, sniffing deeply as I tried to remember what I had seen of myself in the mirror to compare. Her muscled twitched, opening her wide to where I could see into her tunnel for a moment, spilling a bit of her juices. That was certainly something mine had never done; I wondered if it was a mare thing, or a just-that-horny thing. Perhaps I would find out, soon.

"Don't leave me hanging," she begged. So I didn't. I'd looked enough for now; now it was time to taste. My tongue delved between her folds, drawing her juices into my mouth. I only had my own to compare with, and hers were definitely muskier, something I found attractive at the moment. I moved my mouth upward a bit, finding she had a little nub of flesh much like my own, and from her squirms and squeeks I confirmed it was just as sensitive as mine. Good.

Then I got to something nopony would be able to do for her. I brought a hand up, pressing a pair of fingers into her lower folds, searching until I found the right angle and pushed them in, deep, slowly pulling them back out before plunging in again. It was hard to do this for myself, the angles all wrong, but for her, the mare spread before me, it worked great.

Rainbow Dash forgot where we were and her cries got louder and louder. Before they could reach full orgasmic bliss though a stern cough interrupted us from over my shoulder.

"Ahem. If you can't observe proper hospital decorum in the same room, I'm going to have to separate you," the doctor said firmly. "Now. No more of this here!"

I had always wondered how a game of Truth or Dare ended. Now I knew.

Chapter 23: Plunder Seeds

Ponyville was under siege. The enemy looked at home in the Everfree, even though I had never encountered their like in my stay there. Thick black vines covered in thorns writhed their way through the town, moving and growing far faster than conventional plants. They wrapped around buildings, trapping panicking ponies within their homes. Those who were free to run around were no less panicked, as they scrambled to find somewhere to flee to.

Pegasi had it easiest, and used their mobility to help their neighbors to whatever safety could be found, but that was often fleeting, with the vines climbing to get at ponies on roofs and balconies.

We’d had time to change en route, so we were armed and ready when the chariot swung low, letting us drop to the edge of the danger zone before turning to regain altitude. The vines surged toward us eagerly, rushing past us to reach for the retreating vehicle. Sword slashes and fire magic made quick work of those closest, while the vines continued to surge upward, grasping after the retreating chariot.

“Don’t let them get to the chariot,” I ordered unnecessarily. The mares were already doing their best, lashing out at every vine. We all faded into the ether briefly as Pinkie summoned Diamond Dust to freeze as many vines as she could in a flurry of icy magic. That was enough to let the noncombatants get away.

Without the distraction, though, we became the priority targets. Fluttershy screamed in fear, backwinging away from one vine only to be caught by another and wrapped up painfully. Another vine ensnared Rarity, drawing both blood and fury as her needles perforated it with rapid stabs.

“Don’t give ‘em an inch, gals!” Applejack exhorted as she stomped the vines into pulp.

“Wee!” Pinkie Pie cried out, as one of the vines carried her aloft, and then tossed her across the street. She faded into the ether mid-arc, out of range to pull us with her.

Fortunately, Diamond Dust caught sight of us before she attacked, directing her magic away from the rest of us. “There’s no end to these things,” she complained. “Not that I’m complaining, but even Pinkie will get drained going on like this.”

As the windigo faded away, and Pinkie Pie reappeared in a second story window, waving to us. “I’m alright!”

“What can I do?” Fluttershy inquired. “My tranquilizers don’t work on plants.”

“Scout ahead, find where they’re coming from. The ends go still when they’re cut off, and it takes a while to grow a new head,” I observed. “If you can find a good spot, unleash your summon. Loyalty, cover Kindness.”

The pegasus both saluted and headed up, looking around before making their way off with a soft gasp from Fluttershy. Soon they were flying together toward her cottage. Toward the Everfree.

Meanwhile we pressed the attack. It helped keep the pressure off the civilians, which was reason enough. We paced ourselves, holding them off until the vines suddenly went slack, sliding off of buildings and dropping limply to the ground.

“I reckon this is going to be quite a chore to clean up, even still,” Applejack noted.

“No time to help with it. At least not much. Let’s clear a few doors, and get the ponies to start freeing other ponies while we press on,” I commanded. The ponies we freed were still scared, but a few quick words from the mares got them on task, leaving us to hurry after our airborne forces.

There was a perfectly round indentation in the road between Ponyville and the Everfree where everything from vine to rock had been utterly devoured, leaving just the pair of pegasi hovering within. Fluttershy had landed and was beating the regenerating ends of the vines back repeatedly, pulping them with the butt of her dart rifle, while Rainbow Dash looked on with a bored look from a small cloud she had gathered.

“Good job Kindness, Loyalty,” I praised as I arrived. “Let’s keep the zone clear for now. Loyalty, get Twilight and Spike down here. We need to confirm the direction to the princesses, and ideally find a better way to keep these things down.”

“Why should I?” Rainbow asked.

“Because you’re the fastest one here, especially heading for a flying target,” I pointed out, annoyed that I even had to explain it.

“No, I meant-”

“Now, Dash!” She recoiled a bit from my yell, but zipped off to get the job done.

“I know Rainbow can be lazy at times, but that was just plum unlike her,” Applejack noted.

“And Fluttershy’s being weirdly aggressive as well,” I noted. “Kindness! Take a break, we’ll cover them.”

“I need to check on my animals,” Fluttershy called back. She flew ahead the short distance to her own cottage, hacking her way past the motionless vines there to get inside.

We waited a few minutes before Twilight appeared in a flash of light, Spike and Rainbow Dash at her sides. “You sent for us?”

“We need Spike to send another letter, to locate the princesses, while you try to figure out how to keep these plants from getting back up once we cut them down,” I explained, before going into more details with her.

Spike quickly verified the direction of our quarry: deeper into the Everfree forest. “That looks like the way to the Castle of the Two Sisters,” Twilight said. “Where you found the Elements of Harmony in the first place.”

“Then we’re going in.”

That said, we spent another hour doing science to determine how to keep the vines from regrowing their ‘heads’. Massive crab-shaped leaves topped the ends of the vines, and seemed somehow key to their ability to get up and move. Cutting, or eating, the vine let it grow a new head near the wound. But we found fire, ice, and table salt all were effective at keeping the wounds sealed and unable to regenerate.

Armed with the knowledge, as much suitable materia as we could gather, and all of Fluttershy’s supply of tablesalt, we set off into the dark of the woods once more. Although, it wasn’t as dark as the last time we were here. Despite the late hour, the sun was still hovering near the top of the sky, a testament to the importance of the princesses. Night was well overdue, and the length of the day was dragging on us, but at least we could see where we were going.

The trek was even more treacherous than usual this time. More of the black vines attacked us from time to time, flanking us and assaulting us from surprising angles. Rainbow Dash proved entirely unreliable, defending herself when necessary but offering no help to others unless I demanded it of her. Fluttershy picked up the slack, slashing the vines with her chef knife from her kitchen and sealing the ends with salt.

The vines came in from opposing flanks, ripping away Rarity and Twilight Sparkle. I made the call to rescue our researcher first, so the rest of us struck fast and hard, slicing the vines a safe distance from the unicorn, before untangling her. “Thanks. But what about Rarity?” she said.

We rushed back in the other direction as fast as we could, and the vines there seemed less intent on keeping her than the ones who had captured Miss Sparkle. Less reinforcements, less stalling tactics.

“Miss Strife,” the white unicorn said, “we need to renegotiate the terms of our contract with the princesses. Considering their own mortal peril, do you think we could manage nine, maybe ten times our usual rate for this month?”

“Now’s not the time, Generosity. In fact, I’d say our paycheck may be in danger of being cut off if we don’t succeed here,” I pointed out.

She gasped in alarm at that. “I hadn’t considered that. Let us make haste then. Speaking of; Loyalty, would you mind using that wonderful materia of yours to speed things along.”

“Use it yourself. I don’t know why I’m even tagging along with you ground pounders anyways. I should just dart ahead and rescue the princesses myself,” Dash suggested.

“Because if you get too far ahead and the vines get you, no one will be in a position to rescue you right away,” I said. That seemed to forestall her going solo for the time.

A minute later, she was snagged by vines, and we rushed in to rescue her. All but Applejack. When the farmer’s absence was noted, we quickly backtracked to find her. Sure enough she had been captured by the vines from behind.

“I was just fine the whole time,” she said when we freed her. “These vines don’t hurt a lick.”

“Are you sure,” Twilight asked. “I can see you’re bleeding in a few places.”

“No, I’m not,” Applejack insisted.

“We don’t have time for this,” I said, hurrying us along.

“We’ve got all the time in the world,” Applejack said. “Just rest against that there apple tree and set a spell, and everything’ll be hunky dorie.”

“Thanks, Applejack, don’t mind if I do,” Pinkie Pie said before quickly approaching the tree AJ had pointed out. She came up to a stop moments before touching it, examining it closer. “Wait a second… this isn’t an apple tree. It’s poison oak! Were you… were you pranking me?! That’s great! You almost got me,” the mare said before breaking into a giggling fit. The fit was cut off by vines wrapping around her and dragging her off. Before we could respond, Spike yelled out in fear, another vine dragging him off much more quickly.

“Loyalty, help me get Spike, the rest of you, rescue Laughter!” I said, pouring Mako into my muscles to rush after the small dragon. The vine was able to move him much faster, and we might need his flames again to find our destination.

It was easy enough to cut the vine once I caught up to it. But Rainbow hadn’t followed. I turned to follow Spike back toward the others, when a quartet of vines ambushed me, snagging me by a limb each and pulling me off the ground.

“Spike, get the others!” I called out, before a fifth vine wrapped around my head, covering my mouth, but not my eyes or ears. They pulled me farther back into the forest, while more vines criss crossed the path to slow my allies’ approach.

“Well, well, well,” a voice said before its owner stepped into view. It was a crazy mishmash of pieces from different animals. “It was quite obvious what the opposites of all of the others would be. I wonder what the opposite of Magic will prove to be.” He snapped his fingers, looking into my eyes, and I stared back.

I felt layers of myself peeling away, fading into the background. It was hard to tell what was missing exactly. I felt a hardness. Ironically, a firm confidence. Like all of the distractions were gone from my mind. Nothing left but the cold, hard, calculating core of who I was as a former SOLDIER.

“Any last words before I show you how complete my victory is?”

I nodded as best I could with the vines wrapped around my head. They parted from my mouth, letting me speak clearly, so I used the opportunity to the fullest. “Gamma seven! Double pay this month,” I managed before the vines silenced me once again.

“Oh, you are a cleve-OW!” the creature said, before looking at the dart stuck in his arm. He snapped it open and we saw table salt pour out of the broken dart. Fluttershy must have traded out the contents. “Well now, that’s just unreasonably cr-OW! Stop it!” He snapped his fingers and Fluttershy screamed in fear as the bush she had been hiding in became a snake, already coiled around her.

He looked about to say something else when a lightning bolt struck him, followed soon by another. He snapped his fingers again, and the cloud Rainbow Dash was using turned into something else, a ball of sticky substance, brightly colored like taffy, that the pegasus’ hooves got stuck in when she tried to buck another lightning bolt out of it.

Applejack’s lasso wrapped around the creature, pinning him in place for the moment. “You think that will be enough to contain Discord, the Avatar of Chaos?!” he asked imperiously.

“Sure it will. It has nothing to do with setting her up for the shot,” Applejack said, as Pinkie Pie brought her confetti cannon into alignment.

“And am I supposed to be afraid of a little confetti? Let the party begin. This will be funny.”

“I’m not in a laughing mood,” Pinkie Pie said flatly as she fired the cannon, a spray of metal shrapnel tearing into the creature.

Crying out in pain, he lifted his hand to snap his fingers, only to have a pair of needles fly into them, prying them apart with telekinetic force. He tried with the other hand, only to achieve the same fate. As Rarity stepped into view, I could see she was straining to keep all four in place, fighting back his strength to prevent the gesture that seemed to be the key to his magic.

Meanwhile, Fluttershy cut me free of the vines, while her new friend, the snake, ensnared Discord instead.

“Any last words?” I asked, as I pressed my sword against his throat.

“How?! Your minds were all… discorded. How can you still be so competent, so unified?”

“Our motives changed, but you only made us more purely the mercenaries we always claimed to be,” I said. “The biggest difference, as far as you’re concerned, is our true selves can be merciful.”

“Wait!” he begged. “Let me change you all back. I’ll reverse this, all of it!”

I glanced around. I suspected a trick, but I felt I needed to take the risk. Leaving my fellow Elements the way they were… no, my friends. Friends? That was what was missing. Friendship. Our bonds were stripped, leaving only the comradery of fellow soldiers, if even that.

I lowered my blade from his throat to his belly and nodded to Rarity. “Do it.”

As soon as his fingers were released, he snapped them. Light shone in my friends’ eyes but I barely had time to register it. My life began to flash past my own eyes.

I remembered. Clearly, for what seemed like the first time. I had left Nibelheim as a child, hoping to become a member of SOLDIER, the elite fighting force of Shinra Corp. But I had failed. I never was a member of SOLDIER. I had been a mere grunt in their army, barely even a soldier in the conventional sense.

I had been sent back to Nibelheim on a mission. Sephiroth was there, the greatest member of SOLDIER, along with another SOLDIER. Zack Fair. I finally remembered his name. His face. My face I had kept hidden, ashamed to let Tifa and the others of my hometown learn the truth. Was that why I had lied about being in SOLDIER? NO, that wasn’t all of it.

We had gone to investigate the mako reactor in the mountain above the town. The massive, aged facility drew mako from the lifestream to condense it into materia and usable electricity. But this place was being used for more than that. Experiments. Humans were locked into pods and doused with massive amounts of mako until they mutated, became hideous, pitiful monsters. That was terrifying enough, but Sephiroth found something else in the very back. A monster that had never been human.

He became obsessed with it, calling it ‘mother’. It drove a wedge between us, between Sephiroth and all of humanity. He attacked us. He nearly killed Tifa. He beat Zack in a one on one fight. And then he stabbed me through the gut with his massive sword, lifting me off the ground with it…

Which brought my mind back to the present situation. Discord’s magic hadn’t just reversed what he had done to our minds, it had reversed the direction of my blade, and with a quick thrust he had impaled me on it before I could react.

“Not going to lie, that doesn’t look like you’re long fer this world, partner,” Applejack told me sadly. “Not that we’re faring much better.”

Fluttershy was cowering, paralyzed with fear once again. Pinkie Pie was digging into her collection of props, trying desperately to lighten the mood. Rainbow Dash was crawling her way toward me, half devoured by the taffy that had begun to move on its own and had claimed her wings along with her hind legs. Rarity and Applejack were fending off the next wave of vines, barely holding out.

I dropped my weight to the ground, contorting to lift Discord from the ground with the handle of the blade he held, much as I had done to Sephiroth all those years ago. There was no lifestream to hurl him into, so instead I slammed him into the trunk of a nearby tree, repeatedly, until he was stunned enough to let go of the sword. I closed the gap, gripping him by the neck.

“How- Wha- Buh?” he said, trying to formulate a response, before the red light glowed, as a new summon materia formed in my hand.

Yet, Discord wasn’t gone. He still stood before us, so we still needed to finish the job. “Attack Plan Alpha One,” I called out, focusing my power into the tiara on my head, the Element of Magic. The necklaces around my five friends’ necks glowed brightly, and a rainbow of power crashed into Discord’s body. I didn’t know what to expect. Would he become a good guy somehow? Perhaps a light hearted whimsical creature like Pinkie Pie?

No. Stone. His body hardened into a statue, one whose face was etched in fear.

“Well. That happened,” Discord’s voice said, though I couldn’t tell from where. “Of course, just because you beat me doesn’t mean the plunder seeds will stop.”

I looked down at the red materia in my hand, then around, expecting to see a translucent image of Discord nearby. But I saw nothing.

“Discord?”

There was no response from the voice. The ponies looked up at me expectantly, joined soon by Twilight Sparkle and Spike.

“Maybe we should fall back, get you to the hospital?” Twilight suggested.

“Yeah…” I agreed, feeling weak as the urgency of battle faded. I managed to twist as I fell to the ground, to avoid landing on the handle before I blacked out.

Chapter 35: Cutie Mark Chronicles

“Thank you all for coming,” Twilight said. “I’ve prepared a short agenda for the meeting. You’ll have to forgive me for it being in such a draft state, but I only had a short time to make the list.”

“It’s alright, Twilight, I’m sure it’s fine,” I said.

“It’s not fine! Now, if we can all come to order,” Twilight insisted. We were settled around one of the more open rooms in the library, with Twilight alone on one side that made her look almost like a judge, particularly the way she was sitting up over everyone else. On her right, Nanaki sat nestled rather tightly between Applejack and Pinkie Pie. On her left, I sat with Rainbow Dash nestled into my lap, and Fluttershy in easy reach. We humans were sitting crosslegged, our heads only a foot or so below Twilight’s, while the other mares were sitting on their bellies, legs mostly folded beneath them, looking up at sole unicorn in the room.

“I’m pretty sure the only thing not in order is your mane,” Rainbow Dash snarked. “Can we just get on with it?”

“What’s this all about, sugarcube?” Applejack asked. “Is this about Rarity runnin’ off to Canterlot with Princess Celestia last night?”

“As a point of order, I don’t believe we have any confirmation that that was their destination,” Twilight pointed out. “But no. This is about Fluttershy’s illegal acquisition of the royal pet avian, also known as Philomena, and Cloud Strife’s subsequent conversion of said avian into a summon materia. And more to the point, what we intend to do about it, and the pending leadership vacuum.”

“Leadership vacuum?” I inquired.

“You turned the royal pet into a magic rock,” Twilight pointed out.

“Oh! Can I see?!” Pinkie Pie interjected. I tossed her Philomena’s materia. “Oh, wow. You were at the party?! How did I miss her?! She’s amazing!”

“As I was saying,” Twilight resumed. “Princess Celestia is going to lock Cloud in a dungeon forever. Or exile her from Equestria. Or exile her from Equestria and lock her in a dungeon in the place she’s exiled to. And possibly Fluttershy. But if we all tell her that Cloud put her up to it, maybe we can at least keep Kindness out of jail.”

“Well, technically, Cloud did tell me to keep her safe until the Princess returned…” Fluttershy said quietly.

“Right, let’s go with that,” Twilight said.

I rolled my eyes. “When we see the Princess, I’ll apologize for the accident and offer her the materia. I really don’t think she’s going to exile me or lock me away. She doesn’t seem like that kind of person. Maybe she’ll have some demand for me to make it up to her, which I’ll gladly fulfill, whatever it is.”

“Whatever it is?” Nanaki asked with a teasing tone, trading a wink with Pinkie Pie. I couldn’t help but be reminded of the final square on each of our shipping grids, which was no doubt the intention.

“It won’t be anything like that!” I said with a deep blush. Rainbow couldn’t help but chuckle, while Fluttershy pawed at me reassuringly with one hoof along my arm. “I really don’t think Celestia is going to remove me, but it wouldn’t be terrible to have a contingency plan in place for who takes command if I am unable to continue for any reason. The Princesses did say we should expect tougher monsters coming out of the Everfree going forward, and there are any number of dangers that could incapacitate me, or any of us, with little warning.”

“I agree with that objective, even if I don’t agree with you about how it will come to pass,” Twilight said. “We should create a hierarchy for command.”

“I’m going to nominate two; one for immediate decisions in the field, and a second for longer term decisions when you have time to debate and discuss them. For field command, Rainbow Dash, you’re first, then Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, in that order. That includes if we get separated during a mission. We’ll take time making sure everypony has that memorized, and can immediately take charge when they’re the top rank in the situation,” I said.

“You left out Fluttershy and I,” Twilight pointed out.

“You’re not a field agent, and Fluttershy is the lowest rank in field command. No offense, Fluttershy, but one of the key elements there is the ability to take charge and make yourself heard and obeyed by your comrades. That simply isn’t your strong suit,” I explained.

“I’m not offended,” she assured.

“For strategic command, it’ll be Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash,” I declared. I stroked the shy pegasus’ mane gently. “If Twilight and I are unavailable, or worse, I’m counting on you to make wise, carefully thought out decisions for our group between crises. Can you handle that?”

Fluttershy looked nervous at the very concept, but nodded somberly. “I’ll do my best. If it’s needed. Though I hope it isn’t.”

“That ranking will stand for now. Twilight, if you could record them both,” I said. “But if you want to argue why you think the order should be different in either case, I’ll hear you out. And if I learn of any of you abusing your command, there will be consequences. What’s next on the agenda, Twilight?”

“If I could interject with something a bit more… friendly?” Nanaki inquired.

“Please save all interjections until the end,” Twilight requested.

“Actually, I’d like to hear what he had to say,” Fluttershy whispered.

“Let our guest speak his mind,” Applejack requested more loudly.

“What did you have in mind, Nanaki?” I inquired. Everypony looked interested except Twilight, who was a bit annoyed at the derailing.

“Oh, I was just interested in learning about how all of you received your cutie marks,” he said. “I’ve learned the basics about them, but I haven’t heard any of your personal stories. From what I hear, they are generally fond memories, so I’m sure it would be a nice… palate cleanser, so to speak, after such weighty topics.”

“Actually… come to think of it, I haven’t heard how any of you got your cutie marks myself,” Twilight admitted. “Alright, who wants to go first?”

“...And that’s when I knew in my heart that I was born to be a leader of ponies. And the light of Destiny enveloped me and marked me forever with this tiara,” Diamond Tiara concluded.

Four pairs of hooves and a pair of clawed hands clapped in appreciation of the tale, before Silver Spoon came up to the front to add her own story. “I got mine baking the desert for our private celebration of her getting her cutie mark.”

“What? That’s it?!” Apple Bloom asked in disbelief.

Silver Spoon shrugged. “I really like making pies. And I’m really good at it. You’ve all tasted my work. But not just pies. I’ve been studying up on recipes for more complicated gourmet desserts, and trying my hoof at making new recipes. Those haven’t always worked out, but I’ve learned from them and I know I’ll be able to make better ones.”

“They are pretty good,” Sweetie Belle commented. “Are you going to open up a bakery and compete with Sugarcube Corner?”

Silver Spoon shook her head. “I’m thinking something a bit different, more classy and high end.”

“Just don’t make it so high end we can’t even show up,” Scootaloo said, glancing at Diamond Tiara.

Silver Spoon smiled fondly at the pegasus. “Don’t worry. I’ll have a private table set aside just for the Elements of Greatness.” She offered a hoof for Scootaloo to clop.

“Oh, um, Leadership?” Apple Bloom addressed Diamond Tiara. “Do y’all mind if I spend the night here with you?”

“No, but… why?” Diamond inquired. “Don’t tell me you managed to get disowned too? Eat one too many pears?”

Apple Bloom was quick to shake her head. “Nothin’ like that. But my big sister is bringing Nanaki by and suggested I find somewhere else to be tonight.”

“Nanaki?” Scootaloo inquired. “What kind of name is that?”

“It’s the new human, the stallion,” Apple Bloom said. “I think she’s planning to get… what’s the word?”

“Laid?” Scootaloo offered.

“Intimate?” Sweetie Belle suggested.

“Discreetly engaged,” Diamond Tiara said.

“What are you all talking about?” Spike inquired.

“We’re talking about sex, Spikey-wikey,” Sweetie Belle said. “Apple Bloom thinks her sister is going to be having sex with the new human.”

“Nanaki? Yeah, probably,” Spike said after a moment’s thought. “They were talking about him forming a herd with all the Elements of Harmony on the train ride back here.”

“Really?” Silver Spoon asked in surprise, her glasses dropping from her face as she jerked. “All six of them?”

“Seven, including Twilight,” Spike said. “I mean, it’s not like they were committing to it or anything. Pinkie Pie was suggesting it as a possibility, and Cloud was the only one who really seemed opposed to the idea.”

“A herd, wow… are those even legal still?” Diamond Tiara asked.

“A few of my cousins have those kinds of arrangements,” Apple Bloom admitted off hand. “Distant cousins, but still. Ponies don’t do it that much these days.”

“Wouldn’t it be crazy if we all formed a herd?” Sweetie Belle inquired.

“Wouldn’t you get jealous?” Spike asked, as he stroked Sweetie Belle’s mane.

“Not if it was my idea,” Sweetie assured. “And not if it was my best friends.”

“Well, um… Nothing against Spike, but he isn’t really my type,” Scootaloo said. “Not that I really know my type but… pretty sure it’d be a pony at least.”

Apple Bloom looked off in the general direction of Sweet Apple Acres for a moment in thought before looking back toward Sweetie Belle and Spike, still not saying a word.

“This is stupid,” Diamond Tiara said. “We’re all too young to be getting married anyways.”

“Right,” Silver Spoon said, adjusting her glasses. “Besides, cross-species mating rarely produces results anyways.”

“Wouldn’t that be a good thing at this point?” Scootaloo asked. “Not that I’m encouraging this.”

Spike, for his part was blushing quite heavily at the whole discussion. “Maybe we should just drop it. Who’s up for some training?”

“So the rainbow in the skies in all of your friends’ stories was your Sonic Rainboom, Rainbow Dash?” Nanaki inquired. “I wonder if it played heavily in Rarity’s experience as well. I’ll have to ask when I see her again.”

“What, really? Huh, I guess it was. Heh, I’m even more awesome than I realized!” Rainbow Dash said.

“And it played heavily in mine as well… a hint of what Princess Celestia was saying about our destiny?” Twilight said. “For that matter, it helped me hatch Spike. So… in a way, if I’m his mother, that makes you his father.”

“What?!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed, flailing and freaking out for a bit, to laughs from several of her friends.

“I’m sure Spike could use a father figure in his life. Can you think of anypony better suited?” I teased.

“Yeah, you actually,” Rainbow Dash said. “Of course, we could both do it if we’re part of the herd along with Twilight.~” She stuck her tongue out at me playfully, and I laughed at the thought. “All three of us, if you count Nanaki.”

“That’s… not a terrible idea, herd aside,” I said. “He’s come to me a few times for advice as it is. I’m sure he’ll need more as he goes.”

“You really think so?” Twilight asked, sounding worried. “I do my best to raise him, but I don’t know much about dragons, and I’ve never had a foal or even a younger sibling.”

“You’ve done well so far, Twilight, you just need someone around he can talk to about guy things,” I said.

“It might be nice if you weren’t living so far away, as far as that goes,” Twilight suggested.

“He spends a lot of time closer to my home than yours,” I countered. “Not that he visits that often.

“That’s true. He has been spending an awful lot of time with those fillies. I’m sure it’s a good thing, but I do worry sometimes what they might get up to. Especially after we caught them reading that book,” Twilight said.

“Speaking of which… did you ever get someone to talk to him about sex?” I inquired.

“No… when you refused, I didn’t know who to even ask,” Twilight admitted.

“Well gosh, sugarcube, you could have just asked me to do it. I’d be happy to give the little guy a good talking to about that,” Applejack offered.

“Really? Thanks, Applejack! I’ve created an outline of the discussion with all the major talking points I feel need to be covered,” Twilight offered, summoning a scroll and floating it over to them. “Now, you’re welcome to phrase things in your own way, of course, but these are the things I feel he needs to know about.”

“Why not just give him the talk yourself?” Nanaki asked.

“It’s embarrassing!” Twilight said as she danced from hoof to hoof as if she was trying to avoid touching the floor, or perhaps desperate to use the little filly’s room.

“Ah, I understand,” Nanaki assured. “But you are his sole guardian, are you not? We all have to face our fears at times, and make no mistake, this is a form of fear. But you love him, don’t you? Let the strength of that love overcome the fear of the embarrassment. You’ll have to endure a few blushes, and awkward questions, but in the end he’ll know you loved him enough to push past it all. And obviously you know what to say; we can all see your list, after all.”

“You’re right Nanaki,” Twilight said, settling down even if she still looked nervous about the whole thing. “I’ll talk to him about it next time I see him. Before anything happens.”

“My sister still hasn’t come back from the Princess’ summons,” Sweetie Belle pointed out. “Spikey, would you mind staying with me at the boutique tonight?”

“I don’t think Twilight or Rarity would approve… but I’d be happy to walk you home,” Spike offered.

“Why don’t you both stay here?” Apple Bloom asked. “We’ll make it a big ol’ sleep over!”

“If you’re all staying, I’m staying too,” Scootaloo said.

“I’d best get home soon, so I can return quickly with food for everypony,” Silver Spoon offered.

“You know, you really don’t have to be quite such a gentledrake,” Sweetie Belle said, stroking Spike’s tail with one hoof. “You know, I’ve been thinking about things since we read that book together…”

“Thinking about things… like what was in the book?” Spike asked.

Sweetie Belle nodded. “So, why don’t you come back to the boutique with me…”

“Oh, no you don’t,” Scootaloo said. “I was there for the reading too, you’re not leaving me out now.”

“Apple Bloom, you were staying here to get away from this sort of thing, weren’t you?” Diamond Tiara asked.

Apple Bloom shook her head. “More like I was kicked out to keep me from seeing anything,” she corrected. “Still, aren’t ya’ll a bit young to be risking foals?”

“Interspecies pairings very rarely produce offspring without magical intervention, except for certain well known mixes with high compatibility,” Spike pointed out. “I’ve, uh… been reading up on things.”

“You’re here?” Prince Blueblood asked groggily. “Or another dream?...” his hoof rubbed lightly against Rarity’s, as if touch would confirm what sight could not be trusted to verify.

“Of course, darling. I came as soon as I heard,” she sat up, taking a moment to levitate a mirror and touch up her mane where resting her head on his chest had mussed it up.

“Mind doing mine as well? It must be a fright,” he ventured weakly, struggling to sit up a bit in the hospital bed itself.

“Of course, my prince. I’ll do what I can, but the bandage is in the way,” she excused, as she got to work. He didn’t muster a spoken thank you, but the look of relaxation was thanks enough. “Whatever happened to put you in such a state, darling?”

“I’m afraid I don’t rightly know,” he said. “I remember… glimpses of this room between dreams. And before that…” he frowned as he tried to piece his thoughts together. “Something must have struck my head, but I didn’t see what. I was following somepony… a servant, that was it. She was absconding with some of the scraps from dinner, heading for a side passage that is scarcely used. I… can’t recall which one, exactly. It’s hardly a high crime, I know, but I was curious in part because she seemed so wary, like she thought she was up to something to scandalous to be caught doing.”

“What could she be doing with table scraps that would be worth worrying about?” Rarity asked.

“I don’t know. Perhaps sneaking it to a prisoner she knows? That’s the worst I can guess,” Prince Blueblood said. “Unless it was meant as a trap for me, but then I would have to call this a failure. I wouldn’t imagine somepony would go to the trouble only to leave me in the infirmary.”

“Mmm,” Rarity expressed, before gently pushing him back down into the bed and giving him a kiss. “Don’t let it trouble you any further for now. Let the Princesses and the guards fret about it. You just lay back down and recover. I’ll be right here by your side.”

The prince looked into her eyes in surprise, then in a searching, calculating fashion, until at last he closed his eyes, smiled and relaxed, pulling her close with one hoof. “You really are more than I deserve,” he whispered.

“Nonsense, darling. Surely a prince should have a stunningly beautiful fiance,” Rarity dismissed.

“Well of course. But you’re more than that,” he said softly before silence reigned between them.

Unnoticed, the Princesses withdrew from the doorway, trotting down the hall a good way before finally speaking.

“Do we even have any prisoners, dear sister?” Luna inquired.

“A few, not counting those in tartarus. None for long, and they are all well fed,” Celestia answered. “It’s occasionally best to hold onto a pony while they sober up, or while tensions cool, or the like, to avoid a tragic mistake in the heat of the moment. But I generally prefer to focus on rehabilitating ponies within society. Prince Rutherford would have been detained much longer if he had not escaped, of course, but that was a unique case. And truly I had hoped to ransom him back in exchange for a lasting peace.”

“So then, to whom would this servant be bringing scraps?” Luna inquired.

“I have no idea, dear sister. Will you head up the inquiry? If somepony is so hungry they are in need of our table scraps, I wish to make a less… violent arrangement to see to their welfare,” Celestia said. “And if this was indeed a trap…”

“... then I shall stamp them out,” Luna said firmly, stomping the floor loudly with a hoof to emphasize her point.

“Discreetly, if you can,” Celestia clarified.

“Mind if we take a little detour?” Applejack questioned. Nanaki, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash and I were accompanying her, at least until the road forked and we would go our separate ways. It’d been a long conversation amongst our friends, but with the sun long since set it was time to head home. “I’d like to just take a peek at the clubhouse, see how the fillies are doing. I, uh, kinda advised Apple Bloom she might want to have a sleepover tonight.”

“It’s not far off the path,” I stated, and turned off into the woods, along with the others. “We might as well take a quick look.”

We travelled slowly through the woods, guided by the moonlight, and continuing to converse amongst ourselves until we came to the edge of the clearing where the clubhouse had stood. Now there was nothing but scattered splinters littering the area, the tree itself cracked and tilted, partially uprooted.

Massive claw marks trailed out of the area, starting from within the devastation. Dragon claw marks, at a guess, but nothing as small and innocent as the ‘Element of Power’. It looked as though a massive dragon, 50 feet long at the least, had crash landed into the building before walking off through the woods.

We caught sight of a few odd drops of blood here and there, but nothing nearly enough to suggest the fillies had been killed in the destruction of the building. The possibility they had been eaten was very real, however. There were no recent hoofprints heading out that we could find, no sign they had fled.

“Rainbow Dash, get the others. Including Twilight,” I said. “We’re going to go see a monster about a clubhouse. Nanaki: you know how to use that gun?”

Chapter 49: Awkward Dinner Conversations

8:01 pm, Canterlot
“So, Twilie, dear. Are you involved with these two, what were you again? Humans?” Twilight Velvet asked her daughter.

“What? No! Well,” Twilight fumbled. “Well, I did go on a very sweet date with Nanaki once, and I’ve been friends with Cloud since I moved to Ponyville, more or less. But that’s all! Just friends.”

“That’s good,” Night Light said. “I’m not sure how I’d feel about you joining a herd without any other ponies in it.”

“If we did make it a herd, there’re a few other mares that would likely join,” Nanaki offered. While I looked at him sharply, Twilight blushed and tried to shrink into her chair and Night Light looked a little relieved.

“But no stallions?” Velvet questioned. “That’s kind of a deal breaker for me. I want grandchildren, and I expect both my children to do their part there.”

“Your daughter’s a very talented wizard, and I hear there is magic to bridge those sorts of gaps,” Nanaki pointed out. “I’m sure it wouldn’t be a problem for her.”

“Can we not have this conversation right now?” I asked. “We’re not forming a herd, or inviting Twilight into one. I promise if that ever changes one of us will let you know.”

“Alright, alright,” Velvet said. “I’m sorry to put you all on the spot like that. You just looked so sweet together, holding hands like that, and I thought… but, if you haven’t, you know, done anything together then I guess we can just drop it.”

Twilight looked back and forth between her parents, mind reeling as she couldn’t quite bring herself to deny it.

“Twilight’s still a virgin,” I pointed out.

“Technically,” Twilight whispered.

“Details!” Velvet demanded, a notepad and quill floating from her saddlebags. “And more breadsticks!”

Night Light looked apologetic, as Nanaki grinned and Twilight and I each looked to the other to deal with the demand.

“Bathroom!” Twilight shouted before teleporting out of view.

8:01 am, Ponyville

The waitress rushed off as soon as the pair arrived, bussing a table in seconds before eagerly showing them to it. She was clearly nervous, but did her job courteously and efficiently, leaving them with menus to peruse. The stallion wondered idly whether her nervousness was the common reaction to thestrals that had been waning with each passing night as they proved themselves as protectors of the common pony, or a response to the royal personage accompanying him.

The other ponies in the restaurant all paused in their breakfasts to witness the unusual couple coming for dinner.

“I admit, even aside from my time in exile, it has been quite uncommon to be sought so boldly and openly by a stallion. Do you simply hit on any mare that catches your fancy?” Luna asked.

“I do,” Solar Eclipse admitted. “And I admit it doesn’t always get this far. But I never regret trying just because somepony says no. I would have regretted never so much as asking you out. I mean, it’s not a wedding proposal or anything. Just a chance to get to know one another. That’ll come, or it won’t.”

“That you might regret trying,” Luna said with a smirk. “You’ll have more than just your commanding officer on your case if you dare propose to a princess.”

Solar shrugged nonchalantly. “You’re worth it. But I don’t love you enough for that, yet. And you don’t love me enough to say yes, unless you’re just desperate, and neither of us wants to know that. But that does make me wonder- oh, let’s order first. I’ll have the eggs bolognese, and a side of strawberries,” he told the waitress.

“I don’t even know what that is,” Luna admitted with a sigh.

“Try it? My treat,” Solar offered. “It’s quite good.”

“Your treat?” she asked, before nodding to the waitress and returning the menu. “I’m a princess, I can afford to-”

Solar cut her off with one wing, surprising her with his forwardness. “You can pay when you ask me out,” he said with an arrogant grin. “But this time, I asked you, and I think it’s rude to ask someone to buy you a meal.”

“Alright,” Luna said. “Though perhaps whether I ever ask you out will come down to how much I like this mysterious new style of eggs.”

“They’re good,” he repeated. “But I imagine it will depend more how you care for our conversation. Speaking of which… you mentioned how hard it would be to marry you, but what about your needs? As a mare, I mean?”

It was Luna’s turn to shrug. “Nopony will begrudge me a dalliance on the side, should I choose to indulge.”

“I might, if it’s somepony else,” Solar offered, then tapped his chin. “Or I might not… I admit the thought of you and another stallion isn’t exactly filling me with jealousy.”

Luna giggled. “I can guess what it is filling you with.”

Solar shrugged. “You’ve seen everypony’s dreams. You know full well what stallions imagine.”

“Mmm. I imagine I’ll be in your dreams tonight, whether I visit them or not,” Luna said.

“Undoubtedly,” Solar agreed.

8:24 pm, Canterlot

“This is just so embarrassing,” Twilight complained from her stall, the walls giving it a weird sort of echo.

“I agree,” I said from the next stall over. “But I’m not sure leaving them alone with Nanaki is going to make things less embarrassing for us in the long run.”

“Oh my gosh, you’re right. That stallion has no filter,” Twilight fretted.

“It’s worse than that,” I said. “He knows exactly what he’s doing.”

“If we don’t stop him he’s going to…” Twilight worried.

“...tell your parents we had sex with him while we were merged together?” I finished. “Why do you think I ran off to join you in here? But we’re going to have to face them. What’s the worst they’re going to do, though, really? Criticize you harshly for your life choices? They love you, they’re not going to disown you over something like this.”

“Worse,” Twilight said. “She’ll dig for every juicy detail and use them as inspiration for a trashy romance novel.”

I sat in silence for a moment, recalling that her mother was a writer. “Would she actually do that?” I asked. I knew Twilight was prone to jumping to the worst possible outcome.

“Yes!” she insisted, before becoming less certain. “Probably. Maybe? I don’t really know, but you asked what was the worst. And, well… if it was a more normal situation, nopony would be sure it was based on me, but you know our friends are going to recognize it instantly when they read about a pony and a human merged together, doing… those kinds of things.”

“That’d be pretty hard to mistake, unless she obscures it very well,” I admitted. “But… would our friends even read it? You’re the only really major bookworm I know.”

“Rarity reads every romance novel that hits the library’s shelves, and I have a fiduciary duty to properly shelve any book that is published without regards to my personal feelings on them,” Twilight said. “Pinkie borrows books seemingly at random, so no telling if or when she would read it. Spike… used to stay away from that section, or so I thought up until I caught him and Sweetie Belle reading 50 Shades of Hay together. Of course, Rainbow Dash and Applejack never take time to read anything but the weather schedule, for their respective reasons, so they’d only read it if, well, Rarity suggests it.”

“Rainbow’s going to find out about it eventually,” I said. “She’ll probably want to be next. And if I try to say no, she’ll point to us and demand to know why you got to try it but she can’t. Don’t expect a rational answer to work for something like that.”

We sat in silence for a moment. “Do you… do you think you would, you know… form a herd, like Nanaki mentioned?”

I shook my head before remembering she couldn’t see the gesture, and my hairstyle didn’t make it particularly audible. “No. It’s not impossible, and if you mares pushed I might give in, but that’s not what I want, and Nanaki knows it. And as much as he teases, I believe he respects it. Life and love are complicated enough without trying to balance the needs of several lovers. And you each deserve more than a share of a heart dedicated to you.”

After a little more silence, Twilight spoke up again. “But, what if we end up with less?” she asked. “I don’t meet many stallions squirrelled away in my library. Few venture into Rarity’s boutique. Pinkie meets enough, but none of them take her seriously. You’ve… heard all these arguments before, but they’re still true. There’s a reason nopony but you actually pushed back against the herd idea.”

“And they’re all, really, just cowardice and fear,” I replied. “Accepting something you know is mediocre rather than take the risks involved in seeking something better. You and our friends are going to have to face the risk of being alone for the time, or even a few heartbreaking rejections, so that you can ultimately get your happy ending. And for that matter, you and I need to go face your parents. We’ve been in here long enough.”

“Well… maybe you have, but I’m going to need another minute,” Twilight said apologetically. “I’ll meet you out there when I’m done.”

8:33 am, Ponyville

“... a lot of rookies think the unicorn swordponies have some big advantage, because they can float their swords around, and attack from different angles. And don’t get me wrong, it can help, especially if they’re good at it. But here’s the thing. You take your sword in your mouth and hold it. Just hold it still. Effortless. Maybe not so much with a big blade like mine, but normally. Especially with a shortsword like the unicorns use, yeah? You can stand there all day, no problem. It’s only an effort at all when you actually swing it. But for a unicorn? Just holding the blade still with their horn? That’s burning energy nonstop. And when they swing, it’s as much effort as swinging with your mouth on top of the effort to hold it up. In a fight, you can tire them out just waiting them out. And blocking or dodging is often less tiring than attacking. On the other hoof, they can’t block a massive sword like mine, not with their little floating daggers. Even an armor blow will give ‘em a nasty bruise, even knock ‘em over. A unicorn can’t wield anything that heavy, not with their horn at any rate. A few of them have the physique to do it like an earth pony would. Like Captain Shining Armor, for example. That’s a unicorn who can lift a sword.”

“Can we talk about something other than swords?” Luna inquired.

“Oh, um… sure,” Eclipse said, thrown off his game by the sudden interruption. Especially since she hadn’t suggested a new topic to move to.

Luna’s expression softened a bit. “Don’t get me wrong. I like swords as much as any mare. I have a good half-dozen I bring with me when there’s trouble that needs some good old fashioned violence to deal with. And for the record, an alicorn can wield a sword as big as yours with her horn no problem.”

“That I’d like to see,” Eclipse said, grinning at the thought. “But you wanted to talk about something else so… umm…”

“You really don’t have anything else to talk about?” Luna asked

“Nothing springs to mind… Ponyville is… kind of boring? I mean, aside from fighting off monsters. Back in Canterlot, you’d always catch somepony or other sneaking off with somepony else, thinking they were getting away with something in the dark of the night. And they kind of did, I mean, we never really called them out on it or told their spouses or whatever. We were there to prevent violence, or thefts, not trysts you know?” Eclipse explained. “And it gave us something to gossip about. But here in Ponyville nopony really tries to get away with that sort of stuff. Maybe because it’s so small? Seems like everypony knows what everypony is up to. So nopony ever tries to sneak anything in on the side. And if anypony is doing anything openly… night is the time for sneaking, day is the time for doing things openly. You know, when we’re all asleep.”

Luna sighed a moment before perking up. “Wait… you haven’t been out of Canterlot that long. Who’ve you seen going off on these trysts? Any of the nobility?”

Eclipse scratched the back of his head a moment, unsure whether to continue. “Well… it’s been a while, and we only ever saw things from a distance you understand. Can’t really verify identities that well, but…”

8:41 pm, Canterlot

When I returned, Velvet clearly had something she wanted to say, but kept it to herself and focused on her meal until Twilight returned. “There you are, Twilie, I was afraid you were going to skip out on us.”

“I’m not that cowardly,” the purple unicorn claimed. “You’ve been talking with Nanaki.”

“We have,” Velvet confirmed. “And I’m a bit disappointed that even after… taking such liberties with you, he’s not willing to invite you into his family. But, I am excited about the concept.”

“The concept?” Twilight and I asked in unison. I glanced at her, wondering if we were a bit unnaturally in sync because of the recent experience.

“Twilight Velvet and I are going to be collaborating on a novel, perhaps a series, fictionalizing Pinkie’s herd proposal,” Nanaki explained. “You and I will be portrayed as minotaurs in the books,” he added to me. “And we’ll leave out the whole incident with Twilight here. And add more than a few things that never actually happened, of course.”

“Fantasies sell better than reality anyways,” Velvet said. “But using real people as inspiration to draw from for characterization usually helps give it that thin veneer of plausibility that real helps it shine.”

“So in your way, you get to be monogamous and in a herd?” I asked Nanaki. I thought about it, the appeal quickly growing on me. Just because I didn’t want to live a complicated love life, didn’t mean I couldn’t appreciate the fantasy.

Nanaki gave me one of his signature infuriating smirks, the kind I had grown rather unreasonably fond of. The kind that told you he had figured out something terribly amusing about you, and left you wondering exactly what it was, and whether you knew it about yourself yet. This time, though, he didn’t follow it with a comment, making it that much harder to guess what was on his mind. I had only my own thoughts to guess from. Did he ever give that smirk just to make someone think he was reading their mind when he didn’t really have a clue? Probably.

“So… we were here to do research, but we found what we needed, so,” Twilight began. “Do you mind if I spend the rest of the night with my parents?”

“Not at all,” I said. “We can meet back up tomorrow… or the next day if you prefer.”

Twilight nodded. “I’d like to do some more experiments, now that we know how to undo it. But I should take a little time to visit with friends and family while I am in town.”

Nanaki nodded. “And we have some matters we should investigate while we are in town as well. Rejoin us the day after tomorrow, and we’ll head back to Ponyville in a few days.”

“It’ll be great having you home again, Twilight,” Night Light said. “Now, let’s finish our dinner.”

9:03 am, Ponyville

Luna and Eclipse strolled slowly through Ponyville. The morning unfolded around them, with ponies heading off to their jobs, errands, or school. Eclipse held one wing aloft to shield his sensitive eyes from the sun as they went.

“Thank you for treating me, Solar Eclipse. We had a great time. It has been far too long since we have had a date, and longer still since one was nearly so enjoyable,” Luna said.

“Great,” Eclipse said. “I had a really great time too. In fact, I’d say that was the best first date I’ve ever had. And I’m not just saying that because you’re a princess.”

Luna looked away sadly, frowning at nothing in particular. The walked in silence for a time, before she finally spoke again. “Eclipse… I do not think this will work out. Not in the long run.”

“Of course not,” he said nonchalantly.

“I’m glad you agree,” she said. “It will make it much easier to-”

“You’re immortal,” he continued, cutting her off. “I suppose I could be the next alicorn to ascend, or find some other way to become ageless, but… I’m betting I won’t. I’ll die long before you, and I’ll have my studly figure far shorter than that. So you’d best make the best use of what little time we have, while you can. Make some great memories, maybe get some nice, durable trinket to remember me by.”

“You really won’t take no for an answer, will you?” Luna asked, half smirking.

“You have yet to give me ‘no’ as an answer,” he countered. “If you did, I suppose I would have to accept your royal decree.”

“It isn’t just decades from now that will be challenging,” Luna said.

“You live in Canterlot, I’m stationed in Ponyville,” he allowed. “Fortunately, I know when I dream of you, you can actually be there. But that’s a matter for tomorrow. For tonight, you’re right here. And if I never have another day with you, I’ll be glad I had today.”

Luna studied him as they walked again in silence, before giving a cautious smile. “Right… I too will be glad we had today.” She opened the door to the inn where she was staying, when they finally arrived, and held it for him. “Coming in?”