A not quite Equestrian adventure

‘that was the most stupidest showers I’ve ever had to use,’ I think to myself as I step out of the shower that is way too small for me, I had to make myself as small as possible whilst I tried to grab the slippiest soap ever and fell over in the process and hit my head on the wall then the floor giving me a nice welt on my head.

I wasn't the cleanest I could get but considering the alternative, the little tub in the corner, it was the better choice at the time.

I grab the towel on the rack on the wall and I look for my clothes which seems to have strangely disappeared from where I left them.

I proceed to dry myself off and wrap the damp towel around my private area and walk into a room filled with the journalist ponies. I turn around and walk back into the bathroom and close the door my face burning, I feel so embarrassed. I yell, “Daring is this some kind of joke cause this isn’t funny.”

I hear a small amount of laughter from behind the door which I assume is daring and shout at her, “OH, so you think this is funny huh well it looks like I won’t be able to go and meet royalty then I’ll have to stay in here then.” The laughter drops and Daring steps in, red in the cheeks at the same time.

“Why do you need clothes anyway?” She asks. “I mean it’s not like you need them, we don’t need them so why do you?”

I look at her like she’s mad and I realise that they don’t need clothes as they have all that fur, so I answer in the simplest way I can, “because I need them.”

She gives me a blank look before giggling at my pouting, and turning away to (I assume) get my clothes, I never thought she could have a childish side.

I smile at this new side of Daring and hope that she'll stay a little like this more often. although not embarrassing me as much.

A few minutes of waiting there’s a knock at the door, I’m completely dry and I can’t wait to put my clothes on, but instead of Daring entering a white unicorn with a coiled Dark blue mane, with a needle and a coil of string for a cutie mark, walks in with a bunch of materials walks in and introduces herself before I can object.

“Hello my name is fancy thread, oooh and I’m just soo excited about making you some clothes and my what an superb physic if I do say so myself oohhhh this will be so much fun getting to make you some clothes he he.” All this having been said in one sentence made my head spin so I accept I order to make things easier for my brain.

She grabs a measuring tape from behind her, which I’ll never understand how they do it without pockets, and measures my body. After a few moments of awkward silence she asks, “well what would you like to wear dear I can’t make you anything if you don’t tell me.”

I think for a second thinking of what I should wear for the princesses, and say “a suit would do well for my trip to Canterlot but for normal clothes I would like two pair of jeans and four shirts of various colours. Oh and pants.” I hasten to add that last part making sure those are the things I probably need the most.

At pants she looks at me confused, “you know things to put on under my trousers.” She looks as if I were telling her a big pile of phooey before she shrugs and starts to create a bunch of clothing right before my eyes.

I sit patiently watching in fascination at how she creates such things, with a floating sewing machine here and a pin cushion there. She finishes the jeans and shirts first and I wait for her to finish making the rest. She starts to sweat as she makes the suit making sure the threads are in the right spot and the right length.

As she finishes the suit I ask her about the pants.

She gives in and starts to wail. I look at her with surprise and guilt and confusion so I apologise rapidly trying in vain to calm her down.

She summons a couch out of thin air and lays down on it, dramatically, before saying through sobs, “I don’t know *sob… sob* I’m supposed to be a fashionista but I just don’t know *sob* what is this fashion of pants you speak of?” I almost burst out in laughter at the reason why she’s crying. But I restrain myself and scold myself for almost hurting someponys feelings.

“Don’t worry about it. Tell you what, I'll tell you what they are and how people like me make them.” She stops wailing and sits bolt upright as if there was no crying in the first place.

I tell her about what they are and what they do, with the exception of a lot of embarrassing moments mostly of me shuffling around and ahem-ing and them blushing, and I then tell her how to make them and she hastily creates a few for me to use. After a few moments of them staring at me impatiently I ask, “Why are you still here I need to get changed.”

They look at each other and shrug and a large panel of cloth flies out of nowhere and acts as a shield between me and them. I grab the pants closest to me and shove them on, I then grab the first set of clothes and put them on. I step around the cloth and show them what I’m wearing, the white mare pulls a face of disgust and Daring nods her head rapidly. I am wearing the jeans and a dark blue shirt I shrug and walk back behind the makeshift dresser. I put on a another pair of jeans and a blood red shirt, and step back out, both mares give a look of approval as their mouths are literally on the floor I chuckle and step back behind the cloth and try out a few more outfits of varying results, I refuse to wear the pink ones much to the disappointment of the Fancy.

I finally put on the suit, it feels like air the trousers are black and completely straight and I have a bright white shirt with a red tie with golden spirals going down the tie, to enhance the blueness of my eyes, and a jet black blazer with golden buttons. And black shoes that shone with the amount of polish that is on it and also one or two gems

I step around the veil and the white unicorns’ horn gives off a small spark and Darings’ wings snap open knocking over the unicorn in the process. I giggle my ass off when I see the state the two ponies are in which are both blushing profusely, and trying to avoid eye contact. When Daring regains control of her wings and I stop giggling my ass off like a little girl, I stand up and say, “well I guess you two like this then.” As I look at my reflection that Fancy has produced and I have to say I look damn good in the suit I am wearing.

After conversing about the cost of the clothes, I change into more casual set of clothes and step out into the living room and find Baltar sprint through the front door into the street trying to escape the two ponies with hair styling contraptions, which ran through the room and took chase after the speck in the distance that is Baltar.

‘Wait was that a red bow in his hair’ I think. ‘Nah that wouldn’t happen he’s to manly… liony?’ I chuckle at what would happen to him if he stayed in there with those girls that are currently chasing him and chuckle and step out into the cool afternoon air.

For once the streets are clear of ponies watching me so I am free to wander the streets in peace.

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Meanwhile in ponyville

-BUUURRRP-

A green flame bursts out of a small purple dragon and materialises into a small roll of parchment which is taken in a purple aura.

It unrolls itself and a lavender coloured mare reads out

“Dear Twilight Sparkle

It is with regret that I have to send you and your friends on a mission of national importance.

Not just a few hours ago a mythological creature also known as a human made an appearance in Equestria in the town of hoofington.

I need you and your friends to study the human and assess the threat of it.

If it is a threat then it is with regret that you will have to stop it if it is harmless then bring it to the palace for further questioning.

I have sent you a small batch of my royal guards to fly you there which will arrive in due time. They will also act as a mean to protect you from the human and the everfree forest should the need arise.

I’m sorry I can’t deal with this currently but strange occurrences have been happening at Canterlot that require my attention.

Stay safe my faithful student.

Yours faithfully

Princess Celestia

PS: Luna sends her love and hopes you will join her for her party when you come back some time.”

Twilight stares into the distance a look between fear and excitement on her face. As quick as it came it left and the usual fretting and panicked version of twilight returns and shouts orders like a minigun at spike.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Back in the town of hoofington

‘AHHH FUUUUCCK’ I think as I round the corner narrowly escaping the large mob of ponies, that appeared out of nowhere and I don’t want to stick around to be trampled to death.

I sprint in the direction of the house I’d be staying in for the night.

I make it inside the house, with a small army colliding with the door making it bulge, and close and lock the door along with all the shutters and curtains, wishing that I had my wings so that I could get away faster, and I make a mad dash upstairs only to remember that I don’t know which room I’m meant to sleep in.

I groan and open each door looking for something to show which room I’d be sleeping in, much to the disapproval to the current residents.

Eventually I meet daring in one of the rooms and find out that all three of us will be sleeping in the same floor I was across from her and Baltar will be in the room next to me.

I open the door to my room and against all reasonable judgement it is exactly like the other rooms. So I walk in and try to lie down on the pony bed. The moment I try is the moment I fail as the second I lay on it my head hits the wooden head rest and my but lands on the other end of the bed, my legs dangling off the end uselessly.

I get back up and massage the back of my head, thinking of many ways to torture the person who invented beds that had headrests at both ends of the bed, and open my bag and get out my towel which also surprisingly doubles as a makeshift blanket. And undress, taking off my jacket, my shirt and my trousers that Glitter made for me. And slowly drift off into the delusion that is the happy dream land.

I dream again of the annoying pink pony that has a canon that appears out of nowhere yelling “SURPRISE” and blasting confetti in my face launching me into other dreams as I dream them up most I will never remember when I wake up thankfully.

I slowly open my groggy eyes and see a large lavender colour in front of me, I’m mostly naked at the moment and have sprawled out in “I JUST DON’T GIVE A DAMN” position or ‘QWOP’ for short.

Gradually the lavender blob turns into a unicorn mare, smiling evilly, holding a strange object.

AN- this chapter was a pain to write as I had a cold and so many things keep happening like PROM and shiz like that so I've been busy. well this isn't one of my longer chapters but it should provide a bit of comedy to the story to lighten it up a bit.

Well what will happen next time what who is this lavender mare (YEAH I KNOW YOU KNOW ITS TWILIGHT SO DON't RAGE QUIT AT MY BABY ANTICS IDGAS) and what is she holding? (yeah a crappy cliff hanger I know sue me)

wokin on my shitty grammar will it improv? PROBY KNOT (lol)